Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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I have my first date booked in GAF. Special thanks goes out to this thread and Johnny Cage In The Shower's thread: Going on a blind date.

She's absolutely stunning. It's amazing how far a little bit confidence can take you. Expect a detailed report after next Saturday.

I haven't been this excited since Dark Souls was announced for the PC.
 
So hey guys, what's up. I have be doing physiotherapy for my left leg for an while, and there's a girl there that I talk every time and I think she is really nice and beautiful. But if I call her out, can I get a lawsuit? I mean there the rule pacient-doctor, but I don't really know how this works. But it seems more like we both are attracted to each other.
 
MoGamesXNA said:
I have my first date booked in GAF. Special thanks goes out to this thread and Johnny Cage In The Shower's thread: Going on a blind date.

She's absolutely stunning. It's amazing how far a little bit confidence can take you. Expect a detailed report after next Saturday.

I haven't been this excited since Dark Souls was announced for the PC.
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Make Okarin proud.
 
MoGamesXNA said:
I have my first date booked in GAF. Special thanks goes out to this thread and Johnny Cage In The Shower's thread: Going on a blind date.

She's absolutely stunning. It's amazing how far a little bit confidence can take you. Expect a detailed report after next Saturday.

I haven't been this excited since Dark Souls was announced for the PC.
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Thats good to hear, best keep that kind of analogy to yourself though. :P lol

At least until you get a feel for her stance on gaming.
 
Anticitizen One said:
That is actually part of my problem. How do you guys approach these things when you meet a girl? Don't you want to wait and find out if she is in a relationship first or if she likes another guy before asking her out or do you just go and put your bid in right there on the spot?
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You just go it.

If she says, "Oh sorry, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend" then just go "Hey, no problem!" But if she's single and interested and you ask, you're golden.
 
FelixOrion said:
You just go it.

If she says, "Oh sorry, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend" then just go "Hey, no problem!" But if she's single and interested and you ask, you're golden.
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Pretty much this. I've asked a few girls out who were in relationships (one was engaged), it was no big deal.
 
Okay this is going to sound stupid.

I just started seeing this girl. We had breakfast and I left some pancakes at her house.
She texts me: "Sorry I ate your food. I owe you some pancakes!"
Then I respond: "And a little something extra if you know what I mean."
I was hoping she would respond back asking "what's the extra thing?" in which I respond "hashbrowns"

But she hasn't. Now I'm starting to over think things. Did I blow it with that text, gaf? Should I respond back? Should I wait some more?
 
white dynamite said:
Okay this is going to sound stupid.

I just started seeing this girl. We had breakfast and I left some pancakes at her house.
She texts me: "Sorry I ate your food. I owe you some pancakes!"
Then I respond: "And a little something extra if you know what I mean."
I was hoping she would respond back asking "what's the extra thing?" in which I respond "hashbrowns"

But she hasn't. Now I'm starting to over think things. Did I blow it with that text, gaf? Should I respond back? Should I wait some more?
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You may have, I'm not sure. Wait and see if she sends you anymore messages at all, then go from there. Or, give it some time and then apologize.

P.S. What you said was great, lol!!! BRO FIST!
 
white dynamite said:
Okay this is going to sound stupid.

I just started seeing this girl. We had breakfast and I left some pancakes at her house.
She texts me: "Sorry I ate your food. I owe you some pancakes!"
Then I respond: "And a little something extra if you know what I mean."
I was hoping she would respond back asking "what's the extra thing?" in which I respond "hashbrowns"

But she hasn't. Now I'm starting to over think things. Did I blow it with that text, gaf? Should I respond back? Should I wait some more?
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Dude you were awesome. Chill.
 
Thanks guys. She's probably the cutest girl I've ever dated so I'm kind of nervous. Been questioning myself on everything I do, but I just need to relax I guess.
 
SpectreFire said:
So many pretty women around my campus and I have little clue on how to talk up to any of them.

4 months of school left.
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"Hey, do you know where I can find...?"

Much easier said than done though, but I just wish I managed to approach some girls at college. Graduating having made barely any progress was terrible for me, and I'm no better today.

Never will I have such an opportunity ever again, and that's a horrible regret to have.

Such a waste.
 
white dynamite said:
Thanks guys. She's probably the cutest girl I've ever dated so I'm kind of nervous. Been questioning myself on everything I do, but I just need to relax I guess.
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It's a good dumb joke. If she is going to not like you anymore based on something as dumb as that without even replying back to get the punchline, then she's not worth it anyway.

You're getting yourself trapped in that mental state where you believe she is perfect and better than you and can get away with anything and you're afraid of yourself. She is human. Treat her as one.
 
Yeah you're really over-thinking. The fact that she ate your pancakes and texted you about owing you some means that she wants to see you again. Otherwise she would've said something snarky like "your pancakes are getting cold".
 
white dynamite said:
Okay this is going to sound stupid.

I just started seeing this girl. We had breakfast and I left some pancakes at her house.
She texts me: "Sorry I ate your food. I owe you some pancakes!"
Then I respond: "And a little something extra if you know what I mean."
I was hoping she would respond back asking "what's the extra thing?" in which I respond "hashbrowns"

But she hasn't. Now I'm starting to over think things. Did I blow it with that text, gaf? Should I respond back? Should I wait some more?
Click to expand...

This could work out even better than you hoped and she could respond, "yeah, maybe you could park your breakfast sausage in my biscuit" and you'll end up getting more than a silly joke out of it.
 
Some exposition: freshman at college (virginia tech). Been here about two weeks. Went out tonight and got pretty drunk (far from belligerent) and took the "drunk bus" back to campus with a bunch of other freshies.

So I meet this gal on the bus. We are both kinda drunk. We start up stupid chants about our school (let's go hokies!! Etc) and the entire bus joins in. We just talk for a while and it's pretty sweet. I walked her back to her dorm and she's clinging to me and all this stuff. Eventually when we part, we end up making out for a few minutes. I didn't get her number (wasn't thinking), but she told me to add her on fbook asap, so I did.

Where do I go from here


Normally I'd be fine, but I've never hooked up with someone like this when we were both kinda drunk. So I'm not sure how to approach this tomorrow. I figure I'll get her number and we can just hangout
 
ThanksVision said:
Some exposition: freshman at college (virginia tech). Been here about two weeks. Went out tonight and got pretty drunk (far from belligerent) and took the "drunk bus" back to campus with a bunch of other freshies.

So I meet this gal on the bus. We are both kinda drunk. We start up stupid chants about our school (let's go hokies!! Etc) and the entire bus joins in. We just talk for a while and it's pretty sweet. I walked her back to her dorm and she's clinging to me and all this stuff. Eventually when we part, we end up making out for a few minutes. I didn't get her number (wasn't thinking), but she told me to add her on fbook asap, so I did.

Where do I go from here


Normally I'd be fine, but I've never hooked up with someone like this when we were both kinda drunk. So I'm not sure how to approach this tomorrow. I figure I'll get her number and we can just hangout
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More than likely it was just something that fucking happened, and you won't hear from her again. The beauty and curse of drunken hook-ups. You should try and reach out just to see if she'd be interested in hanging out, but if you don't get a response quickly, don't get offended and don't think that you did something wrong. That's just the crapshoot you play in college.

Just make sure you don't badger her. Badgering is an uber no-no.
 
ThanksVision said:
Some exposition: freshman at college (virginia tech). Been here about two weeks. Went out tonight and got pretty drunk (far from belligerent) and took the "drunk bus" back to campus with a bunch of other freshies.

So I meet this gal on the bus. We are both kinda drunk. We start up stupid chants about our school (let's go hokies!! Etc) and the entire bus joins in. We just talk for a while and it's pretty sweet. I walked her back to her dorm and she's clinging to me and all this stuff. Eventually when we part, we end up making out for a few minutes. I didn't get her number (wasn't thinking), but she told me to add her on fbook asap, so I did.

Where do I go from here


Normally I'd be fine, but I've never hooked up with someone like this when we were both kinda drunk. So I'm not sure how to approach this tomorrow. I figure I'll get her number and we can just hangout
Click to expand...

Take it sloooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

She may wake up tomorrow regretting what she did and want nothing to do with you.

Just start up some casual chat with her and if the vibe is still good then take her out for coffee or lunch.
 
DeathbyVolcano said:
More than likely it was just something that fucking happened, and you won't hear from her again. The beauty and curse of drunken hook-ups. You should try and reach out just to see if she'd be interested in hanging out, but if you don't get a response quickly, don't get offended and don't think that you did something wrong. That's just the crapshoot you play in college.

Just make sure you don't badger her. Badgering is an uber no-no.
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UFRA said:
Take it sloooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

She may wake up tomorrow regretting what she did and want nothing to do with you.

Just start up some casual chat with her and if the vibe is still good then take her out for coffee or lunch.
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I thought this would probably be the case. I'm just going to feel it out and see how things go. Thanks guys.
 
Met a girl tonight at a bar and danced/talked. Really hit it off with her and she is incredibly interesting. Didn't get a chance to talk after, but when is a good time to text her? Sometime before the football game tomorrow afternoon (college student here)?
 
Went out to dinner with my friend, his gf and my housemate. Friends gf invited some single friends. Totally frustrated by my housemate, kept on touching me when he was drunk and has zero social awareness. Very awkward. Ended up not doing much besides 'meeting new people'. Disappointing as friends gf kept talking me up, couldn't get any 1on1 with anyone.
 
Looks like a lot of people are going back to college in here.

I deeply regret missing out on all of the potential experiences, so don't suffer the same fate I did.

I wish things were looking positive for me, but they're not. I had a good opportunity back in college, but I let my anxiety take over and ruin me.
 
Stormtrooper30 said:
Met a girl tonight at a bar and danced/talked. Really hit it off with her and she is incredibly interesting. Didn't get a chance to talk after, but when is a good time to text her? Sometime before the football game tomorrow afternoon (college student here)?
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First great job getting her number (she might be into you). I'd suggest giving her a text next day. Say somethin positive about that night and move foward from there.
 
Stormtrooper30 said:
Met a girl tonight at a bar and danced/talked. Really hit it off with her and she is incredibly interesting. Didn't get a chance to talk after, but when is a good time to text her? Sometime before the football game tomorrow afternoon (college student here)?
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Give her a text whenever, it's all cool so long as you don't text her immediately or put it off too long in an attempt to look disinterested.

Atramental said:
Overcoming Shyness:
Part 1: http://youtu.be/Fm7eNfvbHK0
Part 2: http://youtu.be/sQPklrK_70Y
Part 3: http://youtu.be/lZBIi7Svi2w
Part 4: http://youtu.be/fKJiS949tQc
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Currently unable to watch videos, but that better not be some PUA stuff :p
 
What do you all have to say about talking to women on the bus/train/out in public (for no reason) after reading the thread about the girl who is sick of being constantly hit on when trying to mind her own business?

(Sorry if this has been discussed earlier on in the thread.)

I know that a lot of people here would advice to try and talk to as many women as possible, but this story is, or things like it is why I usually just put in my earbuds on the bus and/or mind my own business, as I don't want to bother any woman just because I find her attractive.
 
Hey I got a problem of going into depression over this one woman. I don't its this one woman. Everytime I try asking someone out I fail but also the women seem to get upset about me asking. I don't get it but it is getting me discouraged and depressed. How do I change my attitude?

Now that I think about it I feel I'm more attractive now than I was before. I even had this one woman in my old law school seemed interested in me. Why is it then that a co-worker who really doesn't like seems to grab my attention? How do I push her out of my head?
 
ThanksVision said:
I thought this would probably be the case. I'm just going to feel it out and see how things go. Thanks guys.
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Well, I mean, she's a college girl...

It's not so much a matter of taking it slow as it is a matter of just not coming on too strong or pushing anything too hard on her. I mean, don't get me wrong, that aggressive,
don't give a fuck" approach does get plenty of drunk freshmen laid, but if this is a girl you want something longer and more meaningful with, then just go with it and show her (NOT tell her, show) that you're really into her, without pushing her too fast.
 
Question: I'm 28 and never had a relationship or date. I also never had many friends or went out much. With law school done and finally forcing my over controlling parents to back off, how do I get to the next step and be more social? I learn quite a bit about how women/men relationships work with an experience in trying to get two different women. I figure I need to become more social and stop worrying about women. What's a good place to start?
 
pgtl_10 said:
Question: I'm 28 and never had a relationship or date. I also never had many friends or went out much. With law school done and finally forcing my over controlling parents to back off, how do I get to the next step and be more social? I learn quite a bit about how women/men relationships work with an experience in trying to get two different women. I figure I need to become more social and stop worrying about women. What's a good place to start?
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You should join some random groups or whatever around your city. Most places have adult sports leagues now where you can join a team and make some friends there and a majority of them have happy hours for the teams after the games. Generally these leagues are year round with multiple sports (kickball, softball, flag football, etc.) I'd say concentrate on making new friends first and then they can introduce you to their friends (hopefully females) and become your wingmen. You're making the most important step by realizing you need to work on this. Good luck.
 
pgtl_10 said:
Question: I'm 28 and never had a relationship or date. I also never had many friends or went out much. With law school done and finally forcing my over controlling parents to back off, how do I get to the next step and be more social? I learn quite a bit about how women/men relationships work with an experience in trying to get two different women. I figure I need to become more social and stop worrying about women. What's a good place to start?
Click to expand...

Try taking dance lessons. It's kind of like cheating when it comes to "working out" and living a "healthier lifestyle" and you meet lots of people, not just females. My recommendation to you especially if you think you have two left feet is finding a swing dancing place in town or a blues dancing place. Super slapstick and fun, and the basic east coast is really really easy.
 
Pastry said:
You should join some random groups or whatever around your city. Most places have adult sports leagues now where you can join a team and make some friends there and a majority of them have happy hours for the teams after the games. Generally these leagues are year round with multiple sports (kickball, softball, flag football, etc.) I'd say concentrate on making new friends first and then they can introduce you to their friends (hopefully females) and become your wingmen. You're making the most important step by realizing you need to work on this. Good luck.
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Yeah I need to work on the friend part. However, shouldn't I join what interest me like cooking and outdoor groups?
 
Izick said:
What do you all have to say about talking to women on the bus/train/out in public (for no reason) after reading the thread about the girl who is sick of being constantly hit on when trying to mind her own business?

(Sorry if this has been discussed earlier on in the thread.)

I know that a lot of people here would advice to try and talk to as many women as possible, but this story is, or things like it is why I usually just put in my earbuds on the bus and/or mind my own business, as I don't want to bother any woman just because I find her attractive.
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Nobody has anything to say about this? I was just curious what Dating-Gaf's take was.
 
I'm no regular, but if she's in a public transport, she's probably already half focused on wherever she's going, and if additionally her mind looks busy with something like a book, might as well let her be - at least that's my take on it, I leave people on their own by default, not to mention it feels pretty weird to me when I'm interrupted when I'm absorbed in my own thoughts, probably the need to suddently shift mental gears.



Since I'm here, might as well try and get some opinions: just out of a relationship that lasted a few years, living solo and getting ready to move to a new place, in my very early 30s, and a school year is about to begin, so I'm thinking about maybe starting classes that would allow me to take a more disciplined approach to some interests (and baby steps to far-fetched dreams) and maybe meet some girls in the process.
What seems best: drawing or japanese language classes?
 
Izick said:
Nobody has anything to say about this? I was just curious what Dating-Gaf's take was.
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It's as big of a deal as the two individual's make it. Personally, I believe approaching others is fine as long as the approacher is not expecting anything in return. Whats the worst that can happen when two people speak to one another?
 
Izick said:
Nobody has anything to say about this? I was just curious what Dating-Gaf's take was.
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Not really that big of a deal, depends on the context, taking note of body language, what they're doing while on public transport, should give a good indicator of whether they are receptive to social contact etc.

Anyone who says something like "fuck off" just for approaching them in a public place probably isn't worth dealing with anyway.:p
 
If you want my take Izick, you're probably better off with talking to girls at : coffee shops, book stores, book readings, parks, universities, art shows, concerts, and outdoor festivals. (and these places have been suggested hundreds of times in these Dating-Age threads)

Why? Because these places have plenty of space and have a good "atmosphere" or feeling to them. They're not cramped and filled with apprehension.

Public transportation is what I would consider a place that doesn't have many "friendly vibes". People are usually focused on getting from point A to point B. They couldn't care less about the people they are sitting around.
 
How exactly do you talk to a girl at a coffe shop? I see alot of girls on macbooks or reading a book and it would seem rude to just walk up to them and interupt them
 
Anticitizen One said:
How exactly do you talk to a girl at a coffe shop? I see alot of girls on macbooks or reading a book and it would seem rude to just walk up to them and interupt them
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It is rude, generally. Wait for them to make an obvious sign at you before trying. You can also try to hint at them as well if there's a chance, but in those situations, it's their pick.
 
Anticitizen One said:
How exactly do you talk to a girl at a coffe shop? I see alot of girls on macbooks or reading a book and it would seem rude to just walk up to them and interupt them
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If they are intently reading a book or have their headphones/earbuds on while on their computer don't bother them. Go for a girl that is kind of looking around and surveying their surroundings.

Also, it's probably best to go to a coffee shop that is somewhat busy that way you're kind of "forced" to share a table with someone.

And then open with something lighthearted and casual:
"Hi, mind if I sit down and chat with you for a bit? "

If they say no it's no biggie. Just say "Okay then. No problem." and sit somewhere else.

If they say yes be cool and maintain a friendly vibe. "Oh thanks. So anything exciting going on with you?" or whatever. Don't say something that is canned or rehearsed. You just have to flow into this stuff as naturally as possible.
 
Atramental said:
If they are intently reading a book or have their headphones/earbuds on while on their computer don't bother them. Go for a girl that is kind of looking around and surveying their surroundings.

Also, it's probably best to go to a coffee shop that is somewhat busy that way you're kind of "forced" to share a table with someone.

And then open with something lighthearted and casual:
"Hi, mind if I sit down and chat with you for a bit? "

If they say no it's no biggie. Just say "Okay then. No problem." and sit somewhere else.

If they say yes be cool and maintain a friendly vibe. "Oh thanks. So anything exciting going on with you?" or whatever. Don't say something that is canned or rehearsed. You just have to flow into this stuff as naturally as possible.
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I think tacking on the 'chat with you for a bit' part comes off a bit weird. Just do the first part or something like "hey, is this spot free?" People expect you to talk to them any way.
 
I feel conflicted.

I was at a party tonight and got into a situation with three girls who were sitting on me and talking to me, and eventually it dwindled down to one. We sat there talking for a while before we started making out.

There are a couple of problems. First, it was making a lot of the people at the party uncomfortable, and I had never met this girl before and I feel bad for subjecting my friends to that. Second, I'm not really interested in this girl. I wanted to cut things off early on, but I'm pretty starved for female attention so I went along with it.

I know that I personally am comfortable with other people making out and such in front of me, but a lot of my friends were not, and I feel like I've damaged my reputation somewhat because of it. What's worse was that it was something I didn't want to do but did anyway because I've been single for so damn long.

Part of me says to blow it off because it was nonetheless a positive interaction with a girl, but I really hate doing something that could potentially be negatively mentioned within my social circle for a while. I feel bad.
 
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