Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Woah..Woah...
Dude...you know how she makes you feel...how she has treated you.
Stand your ground....
You did the right thing man. Just stick with it. I'm sure she's gonna try to fight it.
She got really really mad and wanted an explanation. I said I didn't wanna go through it all, but now that she wanted an explanation, I said it was because I have been hurt way too many times and that I can not take any more of it.
I just arrived at home and she didn't want me to drive her home, I'm kind of in a shock right now actually.
I just arrived at home and she didn't want me to drive her home, I'm kind of in a shock right now actually.
Devolution
Member
There is no reason you should have to share passwords. There is no reason facebook should be dictating your relationship. There is no reason she should be on OKC and getting calls from dudes. Doesn't matter if you argue or not. She sounds extremely immature. She's basically using you. Tell her it's over. Do not return her calls, texts or IMs.
PhoenixSFT
Member
I love that you practically live-Tweeted this. Good luck in future endeavors.
Perspicacity
Banned
Welcome to recent break up-GAF, help yourself to the lemonade and sorrow.
But seriously, good work. Two days out and I'm already starting to feel less weird about it.
I just did some minutes ago. The most scary part to me is that she don't understand any of it, and I know this is the right decision.
Right now though, it's starting to hurt a little bit and I try keeping memories away and not thinking about it. There have been way too many times she hurt me and on that part it's nice to be gone from. There won't be a friendship out of this either, she's not interested now and I sure ain't interested as well.
I feel disrespected by her, time to move on. And tomorrow I will go to school and be with my class mates even though they're new so we don't know each other. I'll try keep my head high. I still have to leave her box at her place tomorrow but she'll probably come screaming here at night.
You and I gotta cheer each other up these days.
Anyway, after my break up, I think she is genuinely really really sad. She gave me a ring today (I gave it back), wanted to pay me food (they were closed though) and talked about going to sail with the boat one of the following days.. what could have been some great days BUT no, I need to stand strong and remind myself I were sad most of the time in this relationship, which I didn't have passion or love for anymore, or even trust for that matter.
Devolution
Member
Yeah the fact that she doesn't even understand is the biggest issue. From what you've said so far she treats you like disposable trash. I definitely wouldn't try to stay her friend when even to strangers it's apparent how little she respects you.
This is how I feel.
Just keep this in mind when you start to miss her. You will. Keep this in mind when you want to text her. Because you will. Keep this in mind when she contacts you. Because she will.
AND DON'T RESPOND.
If the lemmonade doesn't do it for you, most of us are carring something stronger. Spike that right up.
BTW, the live tweet on that was amazing.
Be proud of yourself dude. You stood up for yourself to a women that was using you as a doormat.
Of many of the stories on this thread, yours will be a success story and so will your recovery.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Good work, Anastacio. I remember that girl chatting up the dating site dude while you were with her. She is a terrible person, and you will be better off without her.
Yeah. I'm actually glad that I walked away relaxed, calm and talked like a mature. I wonder what will happen during the night (as it's midnight now) or tomorrow. Hopefully it'll all just be peaceful and I can come by with her box.
Thank you very much, I really hope I can stand strong, I have to stand strong now. I feel like a mature being and need to stay calm also. Somehow I feel I have grown up a little more, as I have just listened to my own feelings and looked objectively on the relationship. I hope she can move on and stay strong as well but just not with me as a friend.
My bet is that she will still want some sort of explanation.
Yes. Or she might also just walk away. I also know, that no matter how many times I explain it, she won't understand and she will keep on attacking me. I think my one explanation were enough and that's it.
Thank you. Yes, some guy from OKCupid called her and she answered and talked to him while we were at it - that was a weird experience to me. But of all the things, I were mostly annoyed at her not listening to what I said at any time. Like, she actually didn't care or something. =/
Yes. Or she might also just walk away. I also know, that no matter how many times I explain it, she won't understand and she will keep on attacking me. I think my one explanation were enough and that's it.
Thank you. Yes, some guy from OKCupid called her and she answered and talked to him while we were at it - that was a weird experience to me. But of all the things, I were mostly annoyed at her not listening to what I said at any time. Like, she actually didn't care or something. =/
Oh hell yeah. I like the way you are thinking.
Im telling you. You will be right as rain in no time.
Yes. Or she might also just walk away. I also know, that no matter how many times I explain it, she won't understand and she will keep on attacking me. I think my one explanation were enough and that's it.
Thank you. Yes, some guy from OKCupid called her and she answered and talked to him while we were at it - that was a weird experience to me. But of all the things, I were mostly annoyed at her not listening to what I said at any time. Like, she actually didn't care or something. =/
It doesn't even matter if she doesn't understand. That kind of proves the point further. It'll be easier on you if you just keep thinking about the terible way she treated you whenever you get nostalgic.
Devolution
Member
Were you her first boyfriend?
I hope so.
Yeah, I guess I got to stick to the terrible memories whenever I feel going nostalgic.
Nope. I think I might have been her 3rd. Reminding me of her texts to her first ex, that she almost cry because she miss him and she have to sleep or she WILL cry. That was not nice to read also, actually I got it translated so I understood it.
Now I just hope I can stay strong and that I can concentrate in school tomorrow also.
I am still kind of in shock myself, she surely is as well.
Do it, it's awesome and builds character.
Yeah but it might feel awkward alone and I don't have friends who wanna go to the bar.
Anyway I gotta try sleep but I can surely feel that's gonna be tough tonight, it's like I try keeping myself occupied with something all the time cause I'm afraid of thinking about her or the memories.
Shell probably wait outside my door tomorrow morning but I'll head to school earlier than usual, I really don't wanna start my day that way. But of course I'll be nice and bring the box to her place right when my friend got time to help me.
Anyway I gotta try sleep but I can surely feel that's gonna be tough tonight, it's like I try keeping myself occupied with something all the time cause I'm afraid of thinking about her or the memories.
Shell probably wait outside my door tomorrow morning but I'll head to school earlier than usual, I really don't wanna start my day that way. But of course I'll be nice and bring the box to her place right when my friend got time to help me.
Going alone is creeper material for anyone who isn't a genie in social situations. The only chance you stand is for other loners and that's rare for most nights.
This is patently false.
If you can own drinking alone at a bar. And I mean, in a corner, drinking whiskey, face tipped down, (ie. not looking around to talk to women, you are there to drink), then damn it, it does build character...Not only that....its awesome.
It's completely true if you are there with the intention of finding someone. I've done both. One way you are a creeper, the other way you are just drinking alone. Whether you give a shit or not doesnt matter. The people even discussing that topic arent interested in the solo thing.
Atramental
Banned
I haven't gone to a bar alone yet but when I eventually get around to it I think I'll bring a small sketch pad with me and draw designs in it while enjoying my alcoholic beverage.
It should peak some people's curiosity and therefore give people a reason to talk with me.
It should peak some people's curiosity and therefore give people a reason to talk with me.
Agreed. I was getting at the drinking alone, but to not look like a creeper, you have to own it and not be all looking around...approaching girls...etc...
I thought ata (sorry...i forgot the whole name), was just talking about drinking alone for a night.
I usually do it in cities I don't know or have never been to, and something cool almost always happen, or I make it back to my hotel and pass out reading something from hemmingway...Either way...Epic Win of a night.
PhoenixSFT
Member
That's not a bad idea, I may have to do that some day.
Devolution
Member
Had a suspicion. It sounds like she does this shit because others allow her to so she never learns.
Oh, so having the urge to dance and have a good time twice a week for five weeks or so during the summer back in a home town where I don't know anyone makes me a creeper? I resent that!
Oh, that's good news Anastacio, you're evolving from a sucker to a creature with a backbone. This is very very good. You are number 1 man, always. You only have yourself in this world. If she wants to hear an explanation, I would, when I was ready (and knowing me it would be right there as I broke up with her, but for you it may take some time) explain to her I felt I was not appreciated or respected in the relationship due to her participation on a dating site, regardless of the reason, her holding a conversation with a random man when we were making love. These were clear indicators that I was around only because she was bored and was waiting for the next guy to come along. I would then tell her to go fuck herself and never speak to me again.
MoGamesXNA
Unconfirmed Member
.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
I'm 21 and my dating/sex life is non-existent and what you're saying just makes me feel like shit because it's like I should be having the time of my life and it hasn't happened in the slightest lol
Also drowning your sorrows in a bottle of vodka isn't a good idea. Neither is the looking at pics of your exes! Chin up and go on that date
Maybe work out to help your self-image?
So GAF - Friends' sisters. Yay or nay?
Deets: Known friend for about 4 years now. A lot in common, but I probably only hang out with maybe six or seven times a year because we don't live all that close together and he's married so he has other things that take priority over chillin with the boys.
Met his sister a while back, but recently hung out with her at a function and we ended up dancing and talking until the sun was rising the next day and I passed out. Actually kinda like her, but I'm not sure if it's a bad idea to ask her out because... well, she's my friend's sister.
Thoughts?
Deets: Known friend for about 4 years now. A lot in common, but I probably only hang out with maybe six or seven times a year because we don't live all that close together and he's married so he has other things that take priority over chillin with the boys.
Met his sister a while back, but recently hung out with her at a function and we ended up dancing and talking until the sun was rising the next day and I passed out. Actually kinda like her, but I'm not sure if it's a bad idea to ask her out because... well, she's my friend's sister.
Thoughts?
My personal experience with a friend of my sister did not turn out well. Turns out not everyone is an honest drunk. Oh well, at least we made out. Nothing came of it and the way she treated me afterwards made me put her on my shit list. Wish nothing had ever happened. She was the instigator though! LOL
NeOak
Member
Only pursue if you are willing to marry her.
The Last Wizard
Member
So today I talked some more with the girl in my chem class, she had a nice perfume on so I complimented her on it and there was either a little flirting or joke as a result of it. We walked to the train station together started out as a big group but ended up with just her and me as we got to our station. So everything seems to be going well, not rushing anything as per advice from the thread but I definitely should have more conversations with her.
I don't if it's me or not but she reminds me of an ex looks wise like if I were to look at her back, there's something I just can't put my finger on also.
I don't if it's me or not but she reminds me of an ex looks wise like if I were to look at her back, there's something I just can't put my finger on also.
MoGamesXNA
Unconfirmed Member
I'm 21 and my dating/sex life is non-existent and what you're saying just makes me feel like shit because it's like I should be having the time of my life and it hasn't happened in the slightest lol
Also drowning your sorrows in a bottle of vodka isn't a good idea. Neither is the looking at pics of your exes! Chin up and go on that date
Maybe work out to help your self-image?
Put yourself out there mate. It certainly hasn't gotten easier for me to find new potential girlfriends as I've gotten older. This may not be the case for everyone of course. However, having lots of hair and a youthful complexion certainly won't hurt your cause.
I have a semi-healthy diet (no junk food, no sugar etc) and work out three times a week. Sadly it doesn't prevent me from getting older -hahah.
Go for it.
I'm really confused about my feelings for this girl, she makes me feel better about myself than anyone else ever has, she's incredibly nice, compliments me constantly and makes me feel great about life in general, but we really have next to nothing in common (tastes in music and food are the only thing we share to an extent) and our life styles are totally different. I know I should just probably go for it and see where it goes, but I keep hesitating.
Hell, when I read out this post I feel like it's obvious and I'm stupid, but I still feel hesitant.
Hell, when I read out this post I feel like it's obvious and I'm stupid, but I still feel hesitant.
I did give her an explanation, she just didn't understand how it was a problem, but that's her issue, not mine. I just woke up, it's now morning and I haven't heard back from her yet.
I did give her an explanation, she just didn't understand how it was a problem, but that's her issue, not mine. I just woke up, it's now morning and I haven't heard back from her yet.
She will be with another guy very soon. Prepare for that. You were just being strung along.
TheSchwab_7
Member
This may make me seem like a bad person, but I'm tired of my girlfriend's constant complaining that her life sucks. She had to move back in with her parents since she got evicted from her apartment in June. She took out a huge loan so that she could go to a college for hair and design, which was one of those programs that you graduate in like 5 or 6 months. Now I'm no expert on those kind of colleges, but they seem like a huge ripoff. Now she's paying all of that off. To my knowledge all she does it work. If she chills with friends or goes somewhere, I'll never here about it.
She has a lease on her car, which is a 2010 Honda, and is pretty expensive. She has to pay a large phone bill each month cause she has internet so it's around $100/month. She also has to pay back the apartment complex around $310/month since she didn't find someone to take her lease over. She works at a restaurant, so she makes the $2.13/hour plus tips.
Her parents aren't supportive at all and constantly bitch at her for not having a real job, etc. etc. There's just so much negativity coming from her, she doesn't even seem to care about all the positive things that happen in my life. I student teach in a first grade classroom, and I always have funny stories to tell her and i'll tell her about it, and she'll immediately change the subject and talk about herself.
On a different note, I also found out that she cheated on her ex boyfriend with me. She told me she was single when we slept together and then broke up with her boyfriend afterwards. So I also have to think about how she'll prob cheat on me.
She has a lease on her car, which is a 2010 Honda, and is pretty expensive. She has to pay a large phone bill each month cause she has internet so it's around $100/month. She also has to pay back the apartment complex around $310/month since she didn't find someone to take her lease over. She works at a restaurant, so she makes the $2.13/hour plus tips.
Her parents aren't supportive at all and constantly bitch at her for not having a real job, etc. etc. There's just so much negativity coming from her, she doesn't even seem to care about all the positive things that happen in my life. I student teach in a first grade classroom, and I always have funny stories to tell her and i'll tell her about it, and she'll immediately change the subject and talk about herself.
On a different note, I also found out that she cheated on her ex boyfriend with me. She told me she was single when we slept together and then broke up with her boyfriend afterwards. So I also have to think about how she'll prob cheat on me.
She sounds like a loser. Why are you with her? What are her positive qualities?
@TheSchwab_7: That sounds a lot like my ex, she drove me insane, then dumped me for an eighteen year old guy she'd known for two weeks and I am pretty sure she was fucking before then. I also found out she was still dating another guy when we first got together so yeah...
Get out of there, don't make my mistake and stick around for five years.
Get out of there, don't make my mistake and stick around for five years.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Not really a fix for the problem.
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