Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
I had a really nice second date Friday night (cooked dinner together and watched a movie + cuddled). Should I be worried if she hasn't texted me since that night? She texted my roommate that she had a good time, and she isn't a super active texter. I can't help but expect some sort of "thanks I had a good time" for setting that all up tho haha! We did see each other and chatted for a bit at a talent show last night.
All signs point to me worrying over nothing; nevertheless i am sitting here wondering.
All signs point to me worrying over nothing; nevertheless i am sitting here wondering.
Wait, if you two were on an exclusive (?) date, why did she text your roommate instead of you?
He asked her. He's also gay if that matters haha.
I know I shouldn't feel like this but I do and it sucks.
Lately I've been messing around with a coworker, she's in her early 30's, lives alone and have a kid so I don't want to get too involved, I'm 23.
Last friday I went to her house and we did it, even though last time I had sex was months ago everything went better than expected, it was also very romantic.
The problem was next day. We got up, had breakfast and stuff, and then I went to the bus stop with her, she left and didn't even say proper goodbye to me, then throughout the day didn't even text me. I felt kinda used :/
We agree that we would do it NSA but I still feel bad, she was the one saying cute stuff to me before everyday and shit like that, but after friday that's completely gone, I don't want to push it so I haven't call her or text her more than once so I don't know what will happen tomorrow when I see her in the office.
One thing is clear, I still want to bang her because:
a- I'm only working till thursday there, then I'll work somewhere else, I think it will be less awkward after we're no longer coworkers.
b- It's the only pussy I have around atm lol
But I want to know wth is happening in her head, maybe she feels bad, but... she was the one that asked for it in the first place.
Women are weird.
Lately I've been messing around with a coworker, she's in her early 30's, lives alone and have a kid so I don't want to get too involved, I'm 23.
Last friday I went to her house and we did it, even though last time I had sex was months ago everything went better than expected, it was also very romantic.
The problem was next day. We got up, had breakfast and stuff, and then I went to the bus stop with her, she left and didn't even say proper goodbye to me, then throughout the day didn't even text me. I felt kinda used :/
We agree that we would do it NSA but I still feel bad, she was the one saying cute stuff to me before everyday and shit like that, but after friday that's completely gone, I don't want to push it so I haven't call her or text her more than once so I don't know what will happen tomorrow when I see her in the office.
One thing is clear, I still want to bang her because:
a- I'm only working till thursday there, then I'll work somewhere else, I think it will be less awkward after we're no longer coworkers.
b- It's the only pussy I have around atm lol
But I want to know wth is happening in her head, maybe she feels bad, but... she was the one that asked for it in the first place.
Women are weird.
anyone here live in or around LA? I'm taking someone to the LA clippers game this coming Saturday. It was originally 12:30-4:00ish so I had made plans to go to the Griffith Observatory afterwards (I've never been). But then it was moved to 6:00-9:00pm. Can anyone give me some suggestions on where to go afterwards?
edit: Downtown on Ice....could probably go there BEFORE the game....
edit: Downtown on Ice....could probably go there BEFORE the game....
white dynamite
Member
Take her back to your place after the game. Nothing gets a girl more in the mood than watching excellent ball movement and finishes at the rim.
Really though, there's some bars around the area that you can probably check out. Also LA live (the beautifully bright lit area across from Staples Center) at night is pretty nice; take her to the ice skating rink after the game if it's open?
Vermillion
Banned
Stormtrooper30
Member
Went out with a girl I'd been texting a bit and met a couple weeks prior. We went out Thursday night to a concert, then went to a party after, and ate and hung out until around 2 am. I walked her back to her abode and that was that.
It was cold and we were close all night, dancing, locking arms, holding hands. When talking we were very close, almost always with on of our arms around the waist of the other. She had a great time and I enjoyed it as well. Haven't made much contact after so as not to come on too strongly and annoy her. But I texted her both Saturday and Today and both of our conversations have been rather short. I simply asked what her schedule looked like for this week and was told she is stressfully busy. I continued to dig for a time to meet up, but she insisted she was too busy this week.
She is still very friendly and warm towards me, but the lack of continued conversation is concerning. I've been in the this situation before with mixed results.
It was cold and we were close all night, dancing, locking arms, holding hands. When talking we were very close, almost always with on of our arms around the waist of the other. She had a great time and I enjoyed it as well. Haven't made much contact after so as not to come on too strongly and annoy her. But I texted her both Saturday and Today and both of our conversations have been rather short. I simply asked what her schedule looked like for this week and was told she is stressfully busy. I continued to dig for a time to meet up, but she insisted she was too busy this week.
She is still very friendly and warm towards me, but the lack of continued conversation is concerning. I've been in the this situation before with mixed results.
Moneyhats2k5
Member
Play it cool. She'll get back to you
Did she just say she was busy and that was it, or did she give hope as well?
Like... "ugh this week is terrible for me...I'll let you know about next week"
Or was it more like... "I'm just really busy this week, sorry"
If she insists on being busy with no follow up to try something else, I'd really just leave the ball in her court now.
Stormtrooper30
Member
She didn't mention anything about next week, but also didn't flat out reject any notion of plans in the future. She seemed receptive to seeing a movie at my place, but again didn't commit due to being busy.
It's just strange that our conversation this week has been so terse, while the previous couple time we've talked it flowed great and was full of fun. Perhaps she actually is legitimately busy and doesn't have time to talk.
Currently trying to play that fine line between maintaining contact and not pestering her everyday.
Pollux
Member
haha when we talked about it and she then sent me the relationship request on Facebook lol
Whoa. That shits Facebook official now.
As usual I have gotten myself into a terrible woman situation (entirely my fault). I was talking to this girl who I legitimately like for around a month. I had been told that she had never had sex and that really isn't a big deal to me but I had been told this by friends so I wasn't sure how true it was. Fast forward three weeks and we both get back to her place drunk and start fooling around. At some point during this it comes up that we should go ahead and do it. The next morning she admits to me that the night before was her first time. We have sex again a couple of days later and all is normal. This weekend... major drama goes on in my life and I come to the realization that I am absolutely not over my ex and have some personal shit to deal with (I never saw my ex or talked to her or anything, I just had this bizarre realization).
I legitimately liked the girl I am talking to and we were never in a relationship in the first place but I did take her v card. I realize that I come off as the ass in this situation. I didn't go into this with the intention of just having sex and then bouncing, I wanted to try and date this girl because I liked her. At this point I know that I need to talk to her and tell her that I have personal issues I need to deal with. I am thinking that rather than making a phone call and telling her I don't want to talk to her anymore due to personal issues that I should do this in person due to the circumstances. I do not want to lead her on at all past this point because despite all of this I don't want to be a bigger ass than I have already been. Should I do this in person? Also since I can't talk to her in person about this until later this week should I avoid texting her so as to not lead her on?
I know I'm an ass and come off as a jerk in this situation and I feel terrible about it. I had no idea that I had these issues prior to this weekend, I thought I was completely over it.
I legitimately liked the girl I am talking to and we were never in a relationship in the first place but I did take her v card. I realize that I come off as the ass in this situation. I didn't go into this with the intention of just having sex and then bouncing, I wanted to try and date this girl because I liked her. At this point I know that I need to talk to her and tell her that I have personal issues I need to deal with. I am thinking that rather than making a phone call and telling her I don't want to talk to her anymore due to personal issues that I should do this in person due to the circumstances. I do not want to lead her on at all past this point because despite all of this I don't want to be a bigger ass than I have already been. Should I do this in person? Also since I can't talk to her in person about this until later this week should I avoid texting her so as to not lead her on?
I know I'm an ass and come off as a jerk in this situation and I feel terrible about it. I had no idea that I had these issues prior to this weekend, I thought I was completely over it.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
My apartment as it all right now.
One guy dating someone
One guy in a LDR.
One guy who is a lonely motherfucker
Oh well. It is what it is. Not like I have time to date anyways, I guess, just remarking.
One guy dating someone
One guy in a LDR.
One guy who is a lonely motherfucker
me
Oh well. It is what it is. Not like I have time to date anyways, I guess, just remarking.
Pollux
Member
Thanks. You and a handful of others helped me realize how unhealthy my last relationship was and helped me move on much quicker than I otherwise would have. Then spending time with this girl, it's like a whole new world. It's fucking amazing. This girl is exactly what I was looking for in a relationship.*high five* I'm glad you've moved on
Congratulations!
That site just wants your membership.
Also, sooo unfair: imagine if you, a guy, received a few texts from a girl that seem a tad overeager. So what??? *high five*
Oh yeah, by reports from middle aged milfs, that really changes in the mid 40s or so.
Future PhaZe
Member
Maybe the interest is gone.
Honestly that's the way it is for pretty much anyone that isn't the one or at least relationship material. Lots of excitement for all the buildup that leads to sex and once you experience it, the effort in keeping things going just doesn't seem worth it.
Best thing for you to do is to put your focus elsewhere. It's not going to work. Your catching feelings...she's probably catching them...but she's got the experience to know that its just not going to work out in the end and will probably just end in pain.
Congrats buddy. This right here is a DatingAge success story.
RedNalgene
Member
Wow, you've gotten yourself into a really tough situation. There is no easy way out of this one. None. It's going to suck. You are really going to hurt her. Make sure you really wrap your head around that fact before addressing the issue.
Are you sure you need to get out of this relationship to deal with your own personal issues? I totally understand not being over your ex - happens to everyone. But before you sink your current relationship you need to really do a thorough soul-search to figure out if you're just having pangs of regret with breaking up with your ex, that will go away after a short while or if you really want to try and make amends with her. Keep in mind that you need to take a hard look at your relationship with your ex and why it ended. There was a good reason for it, and getting back together rarely works out in the long term because you'll both revert back to the way it was right before you broke up. Same goes for the personal issues - can you deal with them while seeing the current girl? You may have already considered these things, but I felt like it was worth mentioning.
If after all this you still feel like you should break it off with your current girl, you should man up and do it in person. It shows lack of respect to do it over the phone, and you really need to show her that you have respect for her as a person and that your actions show you're a stand-up guy who put himself in an unexpected and difficult position. If you can only do it this weekend in person, then yeah, you'll have to lead her on during the week and act as if nothing is wrong. Otherwise you potentially could have her put you in a position where you'd have to do this over the phone, which you really don't want to do.
Lastly, if you want to try your best to break up with her more gently (it's not going to be gentle at all, but a little less harsh), you should try and confide in her your "personal issues". Saying you have "personal issues" is going to sound like a cop-out and make her feel used.
Good luck man.
So I thought I was doing well in this age overall, but after a few rejections mixed with some short-term relationships/hookups, I've realized a couple of things about my dating prospects right now: 1) I'm still getting passed over by girls below/around/above my level because I'm seen as too nice/nice guy, and 2) the only girls I end up in relationships with are girls so far below my level they're willing to look over that because they just want me for sex because I'm a good looking guy with a lot going for me, which makes me lose interest real fast.
I used to be kind of a pushover, too nice, maybe a bit too boring; but I'd felt like I'd turned that around over the last decade and so it's a little discouraging to still be getting the "aww, you're too nice" rejections when I ask someone I know on a date.
Typical traits of cowardly nice guy:
1. Say what you want
-Sure, I'm pretty good at this. I generally just say whatever, poke jokes at people sarcastically without being an actual asshole, say when I'm too tired to do something, when I wanna do X or don't want to do Y. I'm not a heavy talker but I'm at least 50-75% open with just saying whatever and I don't differentiate between guys and girls. I don't mind disagreeing with people, although I tend to hang out with common minded people so we usually just have the same tastes when it comes to most things.
2. Don't be too accommodating
-Yep. I have a busy schedule full of work, my 2nd passionate sub-job that I volunteer at, hanging out with friends, playing sports, and doing things I enjoy. I often tell people when I'm too busy and we have to try to find a day that works for hanging out. I tend to have about 1-2 nights free a week and that's it. That's the time I'll use to read a book or play a videogame if I have that time.
3. Like yourself
-Yeah, I'm pretty confident and happy with my life right now. Sure I'd love to be an astronaut, but I'm pretty content with my 9-5 desk job that I'm good at and pays fairly well. I'm at the top of my job chain in a good field so there's nothing really to advance to, but just keep at it and make a living. I spent 95% of my life so far advancing and am finally where I want to be, so it's true I'm lacking a work goal, but that's why I have creative hobbies which I love and have massive amounts of goals towards accomplishing them. I dig my free time since it's not often as it lets me work on my novel, or teaching sub-career, and beer tasting with friends is always awesome. I like how I look, have a regular exercise routine, and am generally happy with myself.
4. Dress well, take care of yourself
-Indeed. I'm usually the best dressed person at the party and my female friends tell me I get a lot of looks from girls left and right. I mean the other day I was at a diner and a waitress who wasn't the waitress at my table came up and started flirting with me for ten minutes or so. I wasn't really interested so I didn't get her number or anything. But I definitely notice the attention coming my way lately probably because I'm confident, dress well, and friendly. There's probably a way I can turn all this attention from strangers I don't know into something positive, but not sure how tbh.
5. Don't be too into a girl
-I screw this one up occasionally, and it's understandable to me when those don't pan out. But sometimes I ask a girl who I'm not even really sure I like on a date (and that's why I want to go on a date, to see if I'd be interested; plus it's nice not being invested/not putting on any pedestals) who I think is interested in me, and I still get the "too nice guy" friendzone. Note, I'm talking about girls who run in work/social/educational circles and I get to know them for a few weeks before I get their number, then text/call them for a week or two before I ask them on a date. I like getting to know people a little before asking them on a date. I don't want to meet people at club/bars, but rather casually through group of friends. When I meet people through club/bars, it just ends up being a hookup and I have little interest in chasing sex as it's not very hard to get laid anymore, but I haven't been in a steady relationship for 3/4ths of a year right now.
So yeah, I've always been the "nice guy" described in the topic title for the thread and it's screwed me over for decades. But when I read the key points of "this is what a nice guy is, don't do that", I'm already not doing that! So it makes it tough figuring out how the heck I can shake this cowardly nice guy thing when I'm the spontaneous, fun and open-talking guy among my friends who just happens to also be really friendly and kind to people (whether it's a girl, a guy, an elderly stranger I'm holding the door open for; I don't really discriminate. I donate, volunteer and try to help out those less fortunate; that's just my personal beliefs).
Like I said, just a kind of discouraged that I can't shake nice guy rejections even still. Not sure what to do other than just keep self-improving, living for myself, hanging with my friends, doing what I love, and enjoying life. But I've been doing that for a while now and life is better but dating-age is same old, same old nice guy friendzones.
I used to be kind of a pushover, too nice, maybe a bit too boring; but I'd felt like I'd turned that around over the last decade and so it's a little discouraging to still be getting the "aww, you're too nice" rejections when I ask someone I know on a date.
Typical traits of cowardly nice guy:
1. Say what you want
-Sure, I'm pretty good at this. I generally just say whatever, poke jokes at people sarcastically without being an actual asshole, say when I'm too tired to do something, when I wanna do X or don't want to do Y. I'm not a heavy talker but I'm at least 50-75% open with just saying whatever and I don't differentiate between guys and girls. I don't mind disagreeing with people, although I tend to hang out with common minded people so we usually just have the same tastes when it comes to most things.
2. Don't be too accommodating
-Yep. I have a busy schedule full of work, my 2nd passionate sub-job that I volunteer at, hanging out with friends, playing sports, and doing things I enjoy. I often tell people when I'm too busy and we have to try to find a day that works for hanging out. I tend to have about 1-2 nights free a week and that's it. That's the time I'll use to read a book or play a videogame if I have that time.
3. Like yourself
-Yeah, I'm pretty confident and happy with my life right now. Sure I'd love to be an astronaut, but I'm pretty content with my 9-5 desk job that I'm good at and pays fairly well. I'm at the top of my job chain in a good field so there's nothing really to advance to, but just keep at it and make a living. I spent 95% of my life so far advancing and am finally where I want to be, so it's true I'm lacking a work goal, but that's why I have creative hobbies which I love and have massive amounts of goals towards accomplishing them. I dig my free time since it's not often as it lets me work on my novel, or teaching sub-career, and beer tasting with friends is always awesome. I like how I look, have a regular exercise routine, and am generally happy with myself.
4. Dress well, take care of yourself
-Indeed. I'm usually the best dressed person at the party and my female friends tell me I get a lot of looks from girls left and right. I mean the other day I was at a diner and a waitress who wasn't the waitress at my table came up and started flirting with me for ten minutes or so. I wasn't really interested so I didn't get her number or anything. But I definitely notice the attention coming my way lately probably because I'm confident, dress well, and friendly. There's probably a way I can turn all this attention from strangers I don't know into something positive, but not sure how tbh.
5. Don't be too into a girl
-I screw this one up occasionally, and it's understandable to me when those don't pan out. But sometimes I ask a girl who I'm not even really sure I like on a date (and that's why I want to go on a date, to see if I'd be interested; plus it's nice not being invested/not putting on any pedestals) who I think is interested in me, and I still get the "too nice guy" friendzone. Note, I'm talking about girls who run in work/social/educational circles and I get to know them for a few weeks before I get their number, then text/call them for a week or two before I ask them on a date. I like getting to know people a little before asking them on a date. I don't want to meet people at club/bars, but rather casually through group of friends. When I meet people through club/bars, it just ends up being a hookup and I have little interest in chasing sex as it's not very hard to get laid anymore, but I haven't been in a steady relationship for 3/4ths of a year right now.
So yeah, I've always been the "nice guy" described in the topic title for the thread and it's screwed me over for decades. But when I read the key points of "this is what a nice guy is, don't do that", I'm already not doing that! So it makes it tough figuring out how the heck I can shake this cowardly nice guy thing when I'm the spontaneous, fun and open-talking guy among my friends who just happens to also be really friendly and kind to people (whether it's a girl, a guy, an elderly stranger I'm holding the door open for; I don't really discriminate. I donate, volunteer and try to help out those less fortunate; that's just my personal beliefs).
Like I said, just a kind of discouraged that I can't shake nice guy rejections even still. Not sure what to do other than just keep self-improving, living for myself, hanging with my friends, doing what I love, and enjoying life. But I've been doing that for a while now and life is better but dating-age is same old, same old nice guy friendzones.
your problem is the belief that you can't get women that are "on or above my level"
just get rid of the whole level nonsense completely. There are only women that YOU might decide to hook up with. Flip the script and make yourself into a man that is getting chased, instead of you being the one doing the pursuing.
just get rid of the whole level nonsense completely. There are only women that YOU might decide to hook up with. Flip the script and make yourself into a man that is getting chased, instead of you being the one doing the pursuing.
yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks
I mentioned a while back that I was going to talk to a girl in one of my classes as part of an assignment for the school paper (she's a tennis player and I was going to interview her for a tournament preview) but the whole thing fell through because I couldn't do the assignment because of other plans (got to go to Chicago on the university's dime instead).
But our professor had us both in a team for a quiz bowl held by the history department, and tonight I got to interact with her a bit. We talked for a bit about video games (she's a big SNES fan) and things went smoothly. I had to leave immediately after the event was done to go home for my father's birthday, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her more and perhaps get a number.
We have class in the morning and I'm planning on talking to her afterward. I've never been good at approaching girls even if I've talked to them before. I always get in the mindset that I need the perfect situation to have an excuse to say something or otherwise I come off as awkward.
I'm thinking I'll go up to her and try to pick our conversation from tonight back up and ask her if she wants to hang out and play some games with me some time.
But our professor had us both in a team for a quiz bowl held by the history department, and tonight I got to interact with her a bit. We talked for a bit about video games (she's a big SNES fan) and things went smoothly. I had to leave immediately after the event was done to go home for my father's birthday, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her more and perhaps get a number.
We have class in the morning and I'm planning on talking to her afterward. I've never been good at approaching girls even if I've talked to them before. I always get in the mindset that I need the perfect situation to have an excuse to say something or otherwise I come off as awkward.
I'm thinking I'll go up to her and try to pick our conversation from tonight back up and ask her if she wants to hang out and play some games with me some time.
What are some good free things to do in the winter?
What are some good free things to do in the winter where you can bring your own beer?
We were talking about getting drunk and watching some random local concert, but I'm broke as hell to be spending money on a cover fee and 4-5$ pints. I'm supposedly going to hear back from a prospective employer tomorrow.
What are some good free things to do in the winter where you can bring your own beer?
We were talking about getting drunk and watching some random local concert, but I'm broke as hell to be spending money on a cover fee and 4-5$ pints. I'm supposedly going to hear back from a prospective employer tomorrow.
PflargBlarg
Member
Yeah winter sucks balls for this, especially when the girl doesn't really have much money. It's freezing outside so you have to aim for indoors activities, but those generally cost money as opposed to outdoors free things where the only cost is gas. And she certainly isn't going to let me pay for everything for her.
Can't even do cheap snow related things because it doesn't snow here except on mountains that have entrance fees.
If your situation is like mine you're limited to
- Movie nights
- Bundle up and go for a walk, it is still nice to do
- Game night of some sort
- Wait until the insane christmas light people do their thing, and check that out
Oh, or just people watching somewhere.
Make dinner together, I dunno.
Can't even do cheap snow related things because it doesn't snow here except on mountains that have entrance fees.
If your situation is like mine you're limited to
- Movie nights
- Bundle up and go for a walk, it is still nice to do
- Game night of some sort
- Wait until the insane christmas light people do their thing, and check that out
Oh, or just people watching somewhere.
Make dinner together, I dunno.
Christina Mackenzie
Member
Got into a fight with GF, breakup may be iminent. Console me GAF 
I really do care about her... I want to talk about it and work things out but it may not happen.
I've had a few drinks to numb the pain.
I really do care about her... I want to talk about it and work things out but it may not happen.
I've had a few drinks to numb the pain.
stn
Member
See it as a positive. You have many chances to "warm" her up when she's cold. Movie night at home can be very intimate, 'ya know?
We need more info on this.Got into a fight with GF, breakup may be iminent. Console me GAF
I really do care about her... I want to talk about it and work things out but it may not happen.
I've had a few drinks to numb the pain.
Christina Mackenzie
Member
Was supposed to meet up with her for a date Saturday night, listen to an orchestra play classical music. I paid for the tickets. It was my idea as I know she likes classical music. Event starts at 8:30pm and attendees are asked to be seated by 8:00 pm.
Later that evening, she msg me that her friend has tickets but has no car and wants to tag along. I said fine. I know I'm okay with that. After that she has to go to the airport to see her other friend off. I tell her that we need to be there before 8pm or they might not let us in. We decide to meet at her place. She says she'll be there at 7:15 pm
She shows up at around 7:45pm. I was already beginning to be disappointed with her as I've mentioned that this night was important to me (not explicitly but I said please don't miss it, take the afternoon off from work if you can) She mentions "See how busy I am?"
We rush down to the venue and made it a little after 8 pm. They still let us in. I wasn't happy that night. I didn't talk to her much and we didn't hold hands like we normally do. I was reading an article about not being a nice guy and "putting her on a pedestal". If she does something wrong, don't reward her by showing her affection. This only reinforces her negative behavior.
I didn't say anything rude to her. Only conversation I had with her was if she knew any of the pieces that we being played. During the intermission we both went to the bathroom. Kind of lost each other in the crowd inadvertently.
At the end of the performance, it was raining. She met up with her friend (her friend was in a different seat from us) and starts chatting. I kind of lost it there since the whole time I was with her she couldn't come up with anything to say to me. We walked off to the car in the rain. She could already tell I was angry and asked me about it but I just kept quiet.
I drove angry for about 10 minutes into the journey, about 60 mph in the rain. I calmed down after that and started driving like a sane person.
We got to her place, she thanks me for the evening but I keep quiet. I go in to see my friend and I ask her if we are still going on holiday in December.
Me: So are we still going on our trip in December?
Her: Yes.
Me: Are you sure?
Her: Don't you want to go? I'm paying for the plane tickets.
Me: I asked you first.
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok, I just wanted to make sure. I'm going to book the hotel soon.
Her: I need to talk to my boss to get him to approve my leave so don't book the hotel yet. (my memory is kind of hazy here on what she actually said)
Me: What!?
Her: <some excuse/story>
Basically at that point I lost it because I am pretty sure a few weeks back she said her leave was approved. I don't really like last minute changes.
So I mutter something about "let me know when it's approved" and I stormed off to see my friend in his room. I really needed a drink at that point and a drinking buddy, someone to talk to. He's got a test on Monday and can't indulge me. Fine, I'll just go back then.
I walk out of the house right past her in her car, didn't look at her and say anything. Got into my car and drove off.
Didn't talk to her on Sunday as I was still upset over the whole affair. On Monday I finally cooled down and decided to wait for her at her place at night to talk (I didn't tell her this). I made a small orgami bird and left it on her table. Waited with my friend until 3:30 AM. Finally gave up and went out to my car and saw that she was back. She might have been in the next room but it was locked and I didn't want to wake her up if she was sleeping. I know she knows I'm there because I parked my car outside. Just went back to my place and msg her that I was there and wanted to know if she was ok. I couldn't sleep well because I was so worried that we might break up.
So the next day I called her at 9 AM cause I knew I was going to be a nervous wreck worrrying about this. She picks up but tells me she's in a meeting and will call me back. Later she msg me that the night before she was taking a shower and later had to rush off to work again.
So Tuesday night I was at her place. I needed to take a shower since my house has some problem with the water mains. Didn't see my origami bird. I made an origami rabbit and a small note to take care and left it on her table.
So today, this evening it just so happens as I was shopping I see her car parked outside the supermarket (not stalking her) Thought I would surprise her by waiting outside. She shows up with two of her colleagues.
Hi "Christina Mackenzie", I need to go first.
That's it. She didn't even bother to stop and take a moment to talk to me. I stood there dumbfounded.
I msg her saying I'm surprised that she didn't want to talk to me. No response.
I'm at her place again tonight taking a shower and drinking to dull the pain. I didn't see my origami rabbit. I think she might have thrown it all away. I tried calling her but she wouldn't pick up. I kept trying until I think she turned off her phone.
So basically I msg her that I'm sorry I lost my temper that night, it's one of my weakness. I forgive her for being late that night. I was hoping for a special and romantic evening but it didn't turn out as planned. I really want to talk and work things out. If you don't like me anymore then tell it to me straight and I will leave you alone. At least give me that.
Alcohol has worn off. Still at my friend's place... told him my problems but he's busy playing Forza.
Now we come to the best part.
GF is my best friend's sister. My friend in this story is him.
Yes, I know... I know.
Am I an asshole? Seriously, just tell me, no jokes. This is not the first time I fucked up someone's life.
Sorry I don't have a tl;dr version.
My best friend is busy playing Forza right now. Fuck...
Probably going to go to sleep in the next hour or so.
Little update to my situation. Had a big talk with the gf about those issues. She agrees on all of it. So far its been going great. She is now finally going to a different doctor to fix her Pcos and her hormone levels. Feeling happy about all this.
vitaminwateryum
corporate swill
i don't think you're an asshole (at least not that big of one), and i am of the opinion that she's been thinking of breaking up and is using this as an excuse to do it. although i could be, and probably am, completely wrong.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Christina - you didn't do anything extraordinarily stupid or wrong. It's ok to be upset. Your problem is you didn't confront the situation. You ignored her in the car, waited for her to acknowledge your presence/weird origami, went to her place but not to talk with her.. just fuckin have a convo with her and stop pretending you're in movie. Now you're in some strange selfhate/blame phase for no reason.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
That's good advice, but it's also good to be yourself I think. If you're constantly thinking about what to do or say especially when it's not a first date, then it's not natural. If you want to hold her hand then just fuckin' hold it (unless she doesn't want to hold it either)
Just talk to her next time and speak your mind
Don't bottle up stuff like that. Communication is key. Sometimes the problem is even you and your getting mad over petty stuff. Maybe opera or whatever just isn't a good date for you guys, no big deal. You want to do something where you both have fun.I don't think so, I think it sounds like you're just bad at communicating. Talk it over with your best friend and let him know what went down, and since you've already apologized to the girl maybe hold off on further communicating with her. You never want to beg to get back in there and it sounds like she kind of blew you off at the supermarket. Calm down! If she wants to break up with you, she's already made that choice in her mind. As long as she knows that you're sorry for being upset and still want to be with her, it's her choice.
That's so badass. Good for ya.
stn
Member
A story for you all, feel free to give advice.
A = A good friend of mine. Does not live in the same city as me.
B = A girl I meet through 'A'. Does not live in the same COUNTRY as me.
A good friend of mine meets a girl online through some work-related stuff. That friend lives away from me as well. 'A' hooks us up in order to help him with some work stuff. She and I hit it off until I realize she doesn't live where I live. 'B' goes back home and I also end up moving to Europe for school.
'B' now comes BACK to my original home for yet another visit. For all this time (one year, roughly) we've been keeping in constant contact. I hesitated to do much due to distance and uncertainty. Now, the fun part...
'B' recently met 'A' for the first time ever (they had only ever met online). I have very good reason to believe 'B' is completely into 'A', but 'A' is already in a relationship and I don't think he cares.
At this point I've agreed to keep away from 'B' as I only like women who make me their #1 option. I'm actually absolutely fine with being friends but I noticed that she really stopped talking to me ever since she met my friend. So, any extra suggestions?
A = A good friend of mine. Does not live in the same city as me.
B = A girl I meet through 'A'. Does not live in the same COUNTRY as me.
A good friend of mine meets a girl online through some work-related stuff. That friend lives away from me as well. 'A' hooks us up in order to help him with some work stuff. She and I hit it off until I realize she doesn't live where I live. 'B' goes back home and I also end up moving to Europe for school.
'B' now comes BACK to my original home for yet another visit. For all this time (one year, roughly) we've been keeping in constant contact. I hesitated to do much due to distance and uncertainty. Now, the fun part...
'B' recently met 'A' for the first time ever (they had only ever met online). I have very good reason to believe 'B' is completely into 'A', but 'A' is already in a relationship and I don't think he cares.
At this point I've agreed to keep away from 'B' as I only like women who make me their #1 option. I'm actually absolutely fine with being friends but I noticed that she really stopped talking to me ever since she met my friend. So, any extra suggestions?
PflargBlarg
Member
Wolfgunblood Garopa
Member
Total nonsense, you fucked up. Don't play games and just be cool.
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