Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
What? What are you talking about? The whole middle of your post makes no sense to me but who gives a shit what some random chick on okcupid said? That's really how you live your life?
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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I'll simplify my post, sorry.
Last two times I went on the sort of day out with girls, it didn't go well because "guys and girls" can't be friends. Which is something I disagree with. So the point of my post was to give an example that i haven't had much luck with meeting the sort of the person you're suggesting is out there. But this isn't Friend-Age, so it's off-topic.
(and the part in the middle is a skit than the TV show iZombie ran with)
ZackieChan
Member
Do you want to date women, or anyone?
^^^^
I think I don't want to. I'll see how well that goes.
From my favourite troll: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X-NgRpiteE
I think I don't want to. I'll see how well that goes.
From my favourite troll: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X-NgRpiteE
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
How many girls are we talking about that couldn't control themselves to just be friends?
ErrorMacro
Member
Yeah man, you are completely right. It was tough, but I decided to just try asking her out. So I chatted a bit with her through whatsapp, and then asked if she wanted to go out for some beers. Unfortunately, her answer did not inspire much confidence. She gave me the "Yeah, we could, but I've been so busy lately", which sounds a bit like a polite refusal.
Well, I can't say I haven't tried, though, which lifts quite the weight from my shoulders.
ZackieChan
Member
Gonna go with some kind of confirmation bias here.
Since modern history (read: when it started to matter), two, and if this later one doesn't work out that'll be three. But it's month 5, so, it's all about moving onto the new Meetup. Btw the whole "find a replace" thing was a suggestion from my counsellor, and all that happened was I found out why it is just a suggestion.
Unless by "control themselves" also includes the girls who thought guys and girls can't be friends. Then that's 4, but that's basically ever new person I've hung out with this year. From now on I my T-Shirt shall say "not over ex".
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
2 girls? Seriously? Come on son
ZackieChan
Member
You really need to get over your ex, man. This is the one that was the subject of all your misadventures a year or two ago? Toxic.
I thinks that a significant number when it comes to girls I want to be friends with, but would rather date or not be friends. Especially since I'm counting since March.
But yeah, "moving on" is not being easy for me.
Space. Time. Staying single. I definitely should get that T-shirt. What I want from a relationship is all friend stuff anyone. I think I'll join a club.
The Hermit
Member
Wait
Same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago.
If you are too available they lose interest, like cats
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
:lol :lol This thread has gotten so bitter
Alright, am I fucked already? Lol
Call her until she picks up. She'll pick up eventually.
It is a holiday. She is probably drinking and/or enjoying BBQ. People get busy and they will get back to you whenever they can. Don't stare at your phone waiting for messages to come through.
Alright. Should I not say good night either?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why would you say good night if you weren't talking?
You're right lol.
We were talking about going to the movies to watch X men and maybe Cap 3, sometime this week. Nothing concrete however.
We were going to get lunch together but she didn't have much free time this weekend.
ZackieChan
Member
Not much free time for YOU. Did she offer an alternative? She may just not want to meet you. Always be swiping/messaging/asking others out. Don't invest all your time in one woman.
Read the last 10 or so pages of this thread, please, before asking questions like the texting question you had. It's been answered a million times by people freaking out about the same thing.
TLDR: people don't always reply right away for any number of reasons. You should have enough going on in your life that you're not desperately waiting for that reply, and that you're not always replying to THEM instantly. Don't text too much before meeting. Don't get too invested in anyone before at least meeting them, if not being in a real relationship with them (however you define that).
It is impossible to move on if you remain "best friends" with your ex. Everyone in your life is telling you this, even your therapist ("replacement" means that you would "replace" her, ya know). You refuse to accept that and you will continue on this hopeful but lonely march as long as you don't let her go.
I live a pretty boring life and don't talk to anyone except for one friend, really. I tried Tinder but I guess I'm not interesting or good looking enough to match with anyone xD so yeah not asking others out..
ZackieChan
Member
What do you think is the solution to this?
No idea l, honestly.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Make things interesting...?
ZackieChan
Member
Do the opposite of the bolded. It's extremely clear. I think that you're not trying. Do you have a medical condition/mental illness that prevents you from doing interesting things or talking to other people?
I don't know, really. I just know I'm terrible at socializing with people, especially because I just do not know what to talk about. Which ties into me not being interesting because well, I have nothing interesting to say. I do have problems with self esteem and have tried getting better but things eventually happen that just bring me down again xD; . I want to go out and do things but never do anything because I think about how lame and how much of a loser I'd be if I went to places alone .-. so I end up just not doing anything/just playing some game.
panthapanda
Member
Man reading some of you guys posts and I can see a bit of me in them. I can definitely understand the whole ex thing but I drop my old baggage off when I start investing time into someone else. And it's not like I'm trying to keep her around either. She's like a damn random sickness that pops up every once in a while.
I just turned 25 and I made the decision to start ignoring her. She doesn't know it but whatever. I've told her before it's not fair for either of us or whoever she is dating already. I don't cross any boundaries. They just hate the attention I get which I completely understand. Earlier in the year, we've had a convo too. I told her it's something or nothing at all. I let her make the decision. She chose nothing. Cool.
Didn't even last a week.
I'm not dating at the moment because in my last relationship with a different person, I caught my gf at the time cheating so I'm doing a bit of soul searching. First time experiencing that so it's a bit soul crushing.
To those that still think they're hung up on their ex. The only thing preventing yourself from getting more dates or whatever is you.
I'm most definitely a home body and antisocial. My life is boring, too. But don't you get tired of sitting at home talking to nobody thinking about your ex? What could have been and stupid things like that? Go make something new happen.
I just turned 25 and I made the decision to start ignoring her. She doesn't know it but whatever. I've told her before it's not fair for either of us or whoever she is dating already. I don't cross any boundaries. They just hate the attention I get which I completely understand. Earlier in the year, we've had a convo too. I told her it's something or nothing at all. I let her make the decision. She chose nothing. Cool.
Didn't even last a week.
I'm not dating at the moment because in my last relationship with a different person, I caught my gf at the time cheating so I'm doing a bit of soul searching. First time experiencing that so it's a bit soul crushing.
To those that still think they're hung up on their ex. The only thing preventing yourself from getting more dates or whatever is you.
I'm most definitely a home body and antisocial. My life is boring, too. But don't you get tired of sitting at home talking to nobody thinking about your ex? What could have been and stupid things like that? Go make something new happen.
ZackieChan
Member
You need to get rid of all these thoughts - I do things alone all the time. So do many people. That doesn't make you lame at all. You should go on a vacation somewhere else in the world. Stay at a hostel and make friends with other people staying there. Go climb a mountain or do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Learn a new language instead of playing a game. Join a meetup related to something you enjoy. Take a hike. Go hunting. Eat or cook some food that you never thought you'd try. There's a million interesting things to do, and you're wasting each day alone and boring. Don't do that. You can literally stop right now.
Then google how to make small talk. Most of it has to do with asking some basic questions, actively listening, and asking new questions based on what the other person has said. It's a skill that needs to be practiced, so NOT doing it ain't helping you at all. Seriously, if you want to be more interesting, you HAVE to put yourself out there. It's not just going to happen. Also, since you have nothing going on, you have nothing to talk about. Change this.
So if you're serious about wanting to go on dates, you're going to need to start at square 1. Stop being boring. You can do it - you just have to start.
I don't really enjoy much of anything other than games, so I don't think there are meetups for that. There are no mountains in Florida and I really don't have the money to take a vacation to go up North.. I'm finding it really hard to do anything :/ I keep thinking about what others think of me and how they're probably laughing at me for one reason or another. It really sucks. I WANT to stop being boring but I just don't know where to start. ^~^
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
I did some karaoke, GK.
Blitzrules240
Banned
I was gonna post a longer version of this but after my recent comments, I feel a little uneasy posting my opinions in here...
Anyways, so I've been talking to this girl from OKC for months and we became friends and exchanged numbers and we're gonna hang out eventually but we both know that we want different things, we've talked about it before (I'm not quite her type, not what she's looking for emotionally/physically but she thinks I'm a kind/cool person). The thing is I'm attracted to her and I like her but I know I'm only going to have a friendship here but I'm okay with that because she's cool and I'd like to spend time with her.
idk maybe I could use a platonic female friend, it might help me out in the long run.
I feel like the more you talk to girls, the more comfortable you can become with random encounters and can use what you've learned when it comes to your next date, etc.
I might be talking out of my ass here.
Anyways, so I've been talking to this girl from OKC for months and we became friends and exchanged numbers and we're gonna hang out eventually but we both know that we want different things, we've talked about it before (I'm not quite her type, not what she's looking for emotionally/physically but she thinks I'm a kind/cool person). The thing is I'm attracted to her and I like her but I know I'm only going to have a friendship here but I'm okay with that because she's cool and I'd like to spend time with her.
idk maybe I could use a platonic female friend, it might help me out in the long run.
I feel like the more you talk to girls, the more comfortable you can become with random encounters and can use what you've learned when it comes to your next date, etc.
I might be talking out of my ass here.
panthapanda
Member
I don't see a problem with that. If you can keep your feelings from getting involved then that'll be perfect. Who knows, she might be able to set you up later.
But if feelings come into play, mainly yours, abandon ship. Don't set yourself up to get disappointed.
Look at you go. Did you have fun?
Blitzrules240
Banned
I just think she's really cool and our personalities mesh, so I'd like to hang out with her and just have some good times with the pressure off. And yeah, maybe she could set me up, idk how many female friends she has but I wouldn't oppose it. But yeah, if I catch feels after I get to know her better, I'll bail. So far, so good. It's more of an attraction. I don't know what she could be like in public, that's what I want to find out.
Her schedule is fucking her over, so the earliest we can get together is gonna be a week from now but I'll keep trying lol.
The Hermit
Member
10/10 time this kind of "relationship" will blow on your face.
You will be her friend, she will talk how man are shit, like the one she fucked the other night, and you won't be able to be her actual friend.
Be honest to you and her. Go for broke, tell her you can't be her friend because you like her.
This is The kind of attitude that will help with strangers. The less you are emotionally invested, the better the outcome.
ZackieChan
Member
Alright, then forget it. Carry on. Sorry we couldn't help.
Continuing to make excuses will get you literally nowhere.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Yup.
This is the song I did by myself. -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rYYzKo6S9g
And this is what I did with a group of friends- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-E_ToLbzLw
I even got into a dance circle at a rave.
You want some homework? Try this...
1) Pick-up Aziz Ansari's Modern Romance and an issue of Time magazine. Read both, in public. Knowing "the rules" of modern dating will help lots, and being informed about modern events is just a good idea.
2) Find a local board game group, and join them for a night or two. They'll welcome you with open arms, teach you the games, and you'll likely make some friends.
3) For the next month, watch 2 movies a week that are part of the modern pop-culture lexicon. Have an opinion of them (recent blockbuster releases are good here). Your goal is to expand the available topics with which you can engage in smalltalk about.
4) Pick a part of town you're unfamiliar with (or another city entirely), park your car, and walk around aimlessly. If you see a store that looks interesting, enter it. Don't use your phone to look up anything, just explore.
Blitzrules240
Banned
Ain't that the damn truth.
Gooch's posts are the highlight of this page. Good on you, man!
Go volunteer at an animal shelter or hospital. Take up singing or dancing lessons. Go to some language classes. You will meet more people and be more comfortable with yourself in social situations.
I am going to tell you a big secret: Humans are very self-centered. No one cares whether you do activities alone.
You're afraid of being laughed at? Of being a social outcast? You are making it a self-fulfilling prophecy by just staying home and doing nothing.
Are you happy with the status quo?
You can't think of a single thing that might be interesting besides games...?
Go volunteer at an animal shelter or hospital. Take up singing or dancing lessons. Go to some language classes. You will meet more people and be more comfortable with yourself in social situations.
I am going to tell you a big secret: Humans are very self-centered. No one cares whether you do activities alone.
You're afraid of being laughed at? Of being a social outcast? You are making it a self-fulfilling prophecy by just staying home and doing nothing.
Are you happy with the status quo?
stn
Member
Sorry dude, there's no way out if gaming is literally your only interest. In a world so expansive and full of things to explore, all you like is sitting at home and gaming?
I don't mean to sound rude but you need to change. The world is not going to accommodate you, you're going to have to adapt if you want to survive. Its up to you to find an interest in life, no-one here can help you until you figure that part out. Anything we tell you before then is just useless advice.
There's enough uncertainty here even in your post! You know this is a bad idea and you know you like this girl. Try if you want. But just know that some of us have already been there and it sucks. Heck, maybe you have already been there yourself - in which case, learn from that.Blitzrules240 said:
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