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Do people leave their Goddamn brains at home when they go out to shop?
- Thread starter Triumph
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There's a world full of shitty jobs for unskilled people, much more if you get 6 months' training in a particular field. If dealing with customers constantly is awful, then go hang drywall or something. Know how to change oil? Dealerships hire lube techs all the time. The bar and restuarant industry offers pretty flexible schedules, and as a busboy or cook or valet or something your interaction with the customer is pretty limited.Matlock said:
I work in the computer labs at my college as a student worker. Our systems are all wired up and imaged in that the computers will log you out after 9 minutes of being idle unless you voluntarily log out. When a log out occurs, all data from the computer is deleted. Well, our computer lab is situated such that there is a huge onlooking window in which people from outside can see what people are doing inside on their computers. Plus, we also have security cameras embedded all over the place. There was this 18/19 year old kid who came in one day and sat down at a computer and started working away.
Well I was making the rounds walking around pushing chairs in as part of my job description (ocassionally push chairs in, help people with questions, make sure no food or drink in the lab, do homework) when I noticed this kid kept blatantly blocking my view of his machine and he was wearing a jacket around his legs and had his right hand buried under the jacket (before you get thoughts, let me finish.)
I asked my co-worker to go outside and look on the onlooking window. Sure enough, without the kid noticing, my co-worker saw him looking at hardcore porn and... as you probably could imagine... was playing with himself underneath his jacket.
So, he left all of a sudden, left a CD-RW and forgot to log out and I went over to his machine and checked out the IE history. Of course, porn, porn, and more porn. I forgot we had security cameras recording at all times so we recorded it. The kid came back for his CD-RW and I halted him.
Me: "Sir, do you mind if I have a word with you?"
Him: "Sure... okay."
Me: "Sir, you do realize that in the code of ethics we do not allow explicit site visitations correct?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Sir, we have backed up the history on your computer where you have visited said sites."
Him: *Gets really pissed* "THATS BULLSHIT!!!! I DIDNT VISIT ANY PORN (notice I never said porn)"
Me: "Sir, please calm down, we were just going to give you a wa..."
Him: "BULLSHIT!!! YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!!!"
Me: "Sir, we have footage on the security camera."
Him: "THAT WASNT ME LOOKING AT PORN YOU HAVE ME MISTAKEN!!!" *very enraged*
Me: "Well we'll check the footage."
*begins rolling footage*
Him: "THE NERVE OF YOU PEOPLE, MAKING SUCH ACCUSATIONS!!!! I'M GOING TO SPEAK WITH YOUR...."
*footage of him spanking his monkey underneath the jacket while looking at porn in the college computer lab*
Me: "Sir, I'm going to have to give you a wa... (warning, he wouldn't let me finish)"
Him: "THATS BULLSHIT, I PAY MY STUDENT TECHNOLOGY FEES I SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOOK AT IT" (now admitting it)
Me: "Sir, please calm down"
At this point he was getting very disruptive and the whole lab was taking notice of him yelling.
Him: "I PAY MY FEES!!! I PAY MY FEES!!!!"
Me: "Sir, please leave before I call Campus Safety."
Him: "I PAY MY FEES I SHOULD GET TO LOOK"
By this time some guy that was sitting next to him who must have saw and was traumatized by his masturbating jumped up and said
Random Guy: "HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU CAN'T JERK OFF IN THE LAB EITHER"
*I start picking up the phone getting ready to call the officials*
Him: "WELL... *darts out the door*"
Unfortunately as much as I liked the random guy, I had to warn him due to offensive language and disruptive behavior.
Fucking morons.
Well I was making the rounds walking around pushing chairs in as part of my job description (ocassionally push chairs in, help people with questions, make sure no food or drink in the lab, do homework) when I noticed this kid kept blatantly blocking my view of his machine and he was wearing a jacket around his legs and had his right hand buried under the jacket (before you get thoughts, let me finish.)
I asked my co-worker to go outside and look on the onlooking window. Sure enough, without the kid noticing, my co-worker saw him looking at hardcore porn and... as you probably could imagine... was playing with himself underneath his jacket.
So, he left all of a sudden, left a CD-RW and forgot to log out and I went over to his machine and checked out the IE history. Of course, porn, porn, and more porn. I forgot we had security cameras recording at all times so we recorded it. The kid came back for his CD-RW and I halted him.
Me: "Sir, do you mind if I have a word with you?"
Him: "Sure... okay."
Me: "Sir, you do realize that in the code of ethics we do not allow explicit site visitations correct?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Sir, we have backed up the history on your computer where you have visited said sites."
Him: *Gets really pissed* "THATS BULLSHIT!!!! I DIDNT VISIT ANY PORN (notice I never said porn)"
Me: "Sir, please calm down, we were just going to give you a wa..."
Him: "BULLSHIT!!! YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!!!"
Me: "Sir, we have footage on the security camera."
Him: "THAT WASNT ME LOOKING AT PORN YOU HAVE ME MISTAKEN!!!" *very enraged*
Me: "Well we'll check the footage."
*begins rolling footage*
Him: "THE NERVE OF YOU PEOPLE, MAKING SUCH ACCUSATIONS!!!! I'M GOING TO SPEAK WITH YOUR...."
*footage of him spanking his monkey underneath the jacket while looking at porn in the college computer lab*
Me: "Sir, I'm going to have to give you a wa... (warning, he wouldn't let me finish)"
Him: "THATS BULLSHIT, I PAY MY STUDENT TECHNOLOGY FEES I SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOOK AT IT" (now admitting it)
Me: "Sir, please calm down"
At this point he was getting very disruptive and the whole lab was taking notice of him yelling.
Him: "I PAY MY FEES!!! I PAY MY FEES!!!!"
Me: "Sir, please leave before I call Campus Safety."
Him: "I PAY MY FEES I SHOULD GET TO LOOK"
By this time some guy that was sitting next to him who must have saw and was traumatized by his masturbating jumped up and said
Random Guy: "HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU CAN'T JERK OFF IN THE LAB EITHER"
*I start picking up the phone getting ready to call the officials*
Him: "WELL... *darts out the door*"
Unfortunately as much as I liked the random guy, I had to warn him due to offensive language and disruptive behavior.
Fucking morons.
My favorites:
Customers not liking that the box of a product is a little dirty or slightly banged up. "I don't like the look of that box! I want another one!".
Customers asking for the phone number and for me to check the stock at a COMPETITOR'S STORE.
Customers that ask a question (like if we carry something), don't get the response they want so they walk away and ask another employee the same question, or the cashier when they check out.
People that say they don't need any help, but ask where something is.. (Isn't that technically needing help?).
Motherfucking cellphones when people check out. They never stop talking.
Deaf people. I don't mean to be mean, but these people need to wear a fucking sign or something.
Customers not liking that the box of a product is a little dirty or slightly banged up. "I don't like the look of that box! I want another one!".
Customers asking for the phone number and for me to check the stock at a COMPETITOR'S STORE.
Customers that ask a question (like if we carry something), don't get the response they want so they walk away and ask another employee the same question, or the cashier when they check out.
People that say they don't need any help, but ask where something is.. (Isn't that technically needing help?).
Motherfucking cellphones when people check out. They never stop talking.
Deaf people. I don't mean to be mean, but these people need to wear a fucking sign or something.
SKluck said:
I do the first one sometimes, because in some instances damaged/dirty box sometimes =damaged product inside. Saves me from having to make two trips sometimes.
Plus it's sometimes better to ask two people in a store something on the chance that you end up pulling Mr. "I hate customers" as your first recipient and he sends you halfway across the store because he's too proud/lazy/indignant/stupid to search on the store database for your item or price something for you
Because I'm lazy? Skill or lack thereof doesn't enter into it for me(altho for others I'm sure it does). I can and have had "real" jobs, and as much as retail DOES suck, sitting in a cubicle pushing paper and gettting harassed by half-bright superiors for not making them look good sucks MORE.border said:
A further interesting note, you poor bastards getting college degrees are in for a world of disappointment when you get your precious piece of paper. Don't say you weren't warned!
Apharmd Battler
Member
The Take Out Bandit said:Take it from me, there's plenty of warehouse work that will suit your needs.
I can't fucking stand dealing with consumers, because the moment a person enters the store they grab the Total Cocksucker power-up and attempt to rape the game. Fuck that. Fuck customers.
Retail is hell unless you're interested in blowing hot air up people's ass. And if you're a really shitty liar when you're not interested in it; like myself - that makes it even worse.
LMAO!!! God I remember working retail back in my college days. Good thing I had that second job as a bouncer at a local bar.
What did you get a degree in? (I am in my sophomore year in Political Science)Raoul Duke said:
I have so many stories from my work at McDonalds, I don't know where I can start. Mostly it's weirdos, old people, or whatever.
The worst is when I am in drive through, and I get the nastiest fatties around who can't get out of their car to order ( I know they arn't in a hurry because I see them park. I got this lady whose car was so full of trash, the backseat was full, the passenger seat, and all the way up to her waist is full of garbage ( I am sure fecal matter is under their too). So she orders two meals, with different drinks, as if there is someone else in her car, but nope just her (both meals supersized too).
Also I get this really mean fat chick with a shaved head who would always order cajun mcchickens (when they were still called that) with extra extra mayo, no lettuce. She would open it up soon as she got it (with mayonaise pouring out the sides, I felt like vomiting), and demanded for mayo packets. I give her two (they say light mayonaise) and she yells that light mayo is disgusting (same mayo as we use in the back) and makes me fill a 16 oz. cup full of mayo.
It's cool though, I got hit on by a lot of chicks there too. I don't hate fat chicks, just annoying fat chicks, without a regard for bodily hygeine.
I also like to mess with the customer when working in drive thru:
"How can I get for you?"
"Please pull up to the third window (there are only two)"
"Can I take your order (in Simpson's nerdy voice)"
etc.
Man that job sucked.
Tortfeasor
Member
Here is a story about my own stupidity from when I worked in retail:
I am working at Banana Republic back in the day when it was a safari style store. Whenever a hot girl would come in the male staff members would try to get them to try on this hot black form fitting dress that had a very deep neckline.... Very few bit, but it was a fun distraction for us.
So one day this hot hot hot redhead comes in with a group of her friends and starts flirting with me as her friends look around. She asks if I could recommend anything and head straight for the black dress. She says she will try it on and calls me over to the dressing room to talk to me the whole time she is changing. She then invites me into the dressing room to help her zip up and asks my opinion. As she models it for me, I tell her just how amazing she looks.
I leave the changing room and she changes back to her clothes and continues talking to me. She exits the dressing room and starts to leave the store (I notice her friends are all gone), and I ask her for her number. She grins at me and gives me her number and address and tell me to come to her place the next day (4th of July).
The next day arrives and a co-worker and I go to her house. She invites us into her back yard where the same group from the day before is hanging out, and they are all pretty rude and cold. After awhile she invites us up to her room, telling us she has to show us something, and with the group in tow we went inside. She has this weird look on her face and her friends are all snickering... And thats when I notice the black dress, with the security tag still on it, in her closet. I go over to the closet and there is a hole fucking pile of stuff that was stolen from the store while she distracted me. They all start laughing and my friend and I decide to take off...
I am working at Banana Republic back in the day when it was a safari style store. Whenever a hot girl would come in the male staff members would try to get them to try on this hot black form fitting dress that had a very deep neckline.... Very few bit, but it was a fun distraction for us.
So one day this hot hot hot redhead comes in with a group of her friends and starts flirting with me as her friends look around. She asks if I could recommend anything and head straight for the black dress. She says she will try it on and calls me over to the dressing room to talk to me the whole time she is changing. She then invites me into the dressing room to help her zip up and asks my opinion. As she models it for me, I tell her just how amazing she looks.
I leave the changing room and she changes back to her clothes and continues talking to me. She exits the dressing room and starts to leave the store (I notice her friends are all gone), and I ask her for her number. She grins at me and gives me her number and address and tell me to come to her place the next day (4th of July).
The next day arrives and a co-worker and I go to her house. She invites us into her back yard where the same group from the day before is hanging out, and they are all pretty rude and cold. After awhile she invites us up to her room, telling us she has to show us something, and with the group in tow we went inside. She has this weird look on her face and her friends are all snickering... And thats when I notice the black dress, with the security tag still on it, in her closet. I go over to the closet and there is a hole fucking pile of stuff that was stolen from the store while she distracted me. They all start laughing and my friend and I decide to take off...
When I was back in college, a great friend of mine shared this incident...
Back in high school he worked at Taco Bell. This one old lady came into the restaurant and ordered a Mexican Pizza, with the special request that it be cut into several small pieces. He took the order, turned around and got her drink ready, and when he returned the money for the meal was already laid out on the counter in exact change, so he rung her order up.
When the food was ready he handed her the tray, and the old lady once again requested that the pizza be cut up into several smaller pieces. He went on to tell her that because of regulations about contaminating food (because of recent reports of cross-contamination with food prep or something), he wasnt allowed to cut it up. So the old lady gets pissed, holds up one of her hands, and tells him shed damn well cut her own food if she HAD SOME FUCKING FINGERS TO DO IT WITH! He swears it took every last ounce of self control to hold a straight face, and kindly took the food back to the kitchen to be cut up. The old lady thanked him and went about her way.
Back in high school he worked at Taco Bell. This one old lady came into the restaurant and ordered a Mexican Pizza, with the special request that it be cut into several small pieces. He took the order, turned around and got her drink ready, and when he returned the money for the meal was already laid out on the counter in exact change, so he rung her order up.
When the food was ready he handed her the tray, and the old lady once again requested that the pizza be cut up into several smaller pieces. He went on to tell her that because of regulations about contaminating food (because of recent reports of cross-contamination with food prep or something), he wasnt allowed to cut it up. So the old lady gets pissed, holds up one of her hands, and tells him shed damn well cut her own food if she HAD SOME FUCKING FINGERS TO DO IT WITH! He swears it took every last ounce of self control to hold a straight face, and kindly took the food back to the kitchen to be cut up. The old lady thanked him and went about her way.
FortNinety
Member
xsarien said:
I cannot stand going to any establishment where it obvious the people working there hate their jobs and their lives. I've had a shitty retail job and know firsthand that a positive attitude at the job, no matter how hard it might be, is key to either keepiong or losing your sanity.
Mr. Lemming
Member
I work for a Bank. It's like retail PLUS the higher stakes of people's and business's finances!
CrystalGemini
Member
I'm sure the History channel will also frequently request that you be interviewed for their specials that will eventually be rerun over and over again.Boogie said:
Canadian Psycho
Banned
Tortfeasor said:
Since you had proof they had stolen from the store did you tell your boss and/or the police or were you too ashamed to even say anything? Also, there must have been cameras in the store (and other clerks, no?) while they stole the "pile of stuff", so they must have been nailed afterwards, right (plus, you knew where one of them lived)? It's a very good, no, it's a GREAT story, but it sounds a wee bit suspicious. Please don't take it the wrong way; I'm just curious to know if this really happened.
Tortfeasor
Member
Canadian Psycho said:
First off, I felt like an idiot, so I was not about to say anything to anybody. Plus, I was afraid I would be fired.
Second, there were no cameras. I was 16 at the time, so this would make this 1989. I don't think camera's were common back then, and even if there were any, I would guess they would have been aiming at register to make sure we weren't stealing.
As far as other clerks go, I was on the floor at the time floating, greeting, and folding t-shirts... The assistant manager was in the back, as always. There were two other people working behind the register. This was pretty typical. At busy shifts there would be a dedicated greeter and maybe as much as 3 other people on the floor.
And for the record... This really happened. It is a story I have rarely repeated, but I can see the humor in it now. It was at the Banana Republic at Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, Illinois.
Canadian Psycho
Banned
Tortfeasor said:
Thanks for clearing it up for me. That's one hell of a story :lol . At 16, I probably would have done the same thing. But damn, how cruel.
Heh. We have a big sign outside that says "Buy 2 DVDs, get one FREE."
90% of all the people that come in looking at DVDs give me a puzzled look when they bring two to the counter and I tell them they can now get another free. Then one of the following occurs:
-They buy two 9.99 DVDs and bring a $14.99 DVD to the counter as their free DVD. "What do you mean I have to pay for this one and get a ten dollar one free? WHY!??!"
-"Yuh mean I gets anodder movie fer free? SHeeeeeit yeah!" ***Spends 3 hours looking/bringing 20 movies up and asking how they are***
-"It's free? I don't have to pay for it?" NO SHIT SHERLOCK.
Also recently there's a PSP that got traded in:
"A used PSP What's WRONG with it?"
I don't know...what's wrong with the shit you're trying to sell me that smells like chewing tobacco, missing the manual, has a ripped up case, and a disc that looks like you carved your initials into it with your key?
Speaking of chewing tobacco, two weekends ago, this hick walks in with some crap. I check the discs while my boss gives him prices. One of the games, Fable, has SPIT FROM CHEWING TOBACCO ALL OVER THE CASE. I get it on my fingers. The hick just goes "Must be COKE or something man." Yeah, sorry, Coke doesn't smell like that shit. So I run to back and wash off my hands. My boss actually BUYS the game from the guy. I go and clean it and then realize it's not even Fable. It's the Making of bonus DVD (has the same cover). My boss just goes "It's your fault. You should have checked it." I tell no, HE was pricing them and he should have noticed. I was busy trying to get SPIT off my hands. I had an excuse.
Fuck I hope I hear back from JET soon. I can't fucking stand this place any more. I work at another store now, too; it takes 30 minutes to get there, and the last few fridays, I've had to work all damn day (11+ hours) because the stupid fucking high school brat that's supposed to come in at four calls with excuses, then my boss, who gives me shit over the dumbest things, calls me at 6:30 to tell me he's not coming. "Yeah man, he told me yesterday." YESTERDAY?? Why didn't you fucking tell me YESTERDAY THEN ASSHOLE? My weekend plans keep on getting ruined and I'm sick of it.
It's not going to happen again...I'm closing the store next time.
90% of all the people that come in looking at DVDs give me a puzzled look when they bring two to the counter and I tell them they can now get another free. Then one of the following occurs:
-They buy two 9.99 DVDs and bring a $14.99 DVD to the counter as their free DVD. "What do you mean I have to pay for this one and get a ten dollar one free? WHY!??!"
-"Yuh mean I gets anodder movie fer free? SHeeeeeit yeah!" ***Spends 3 hours looking/bringing 20 movies up and asking how they are***
-"It's free? I don't have to pay for it?" NO SHIT SHERLOCK.
Also recently there's a PSP that got traded in:
"A used PSP What's WRONG with it?"
I don't know...what's wrong with the shit you're trying to sell me that smells like chewing tobacco, missing the manual, has a ripped up case, and a disc that looks like you carved your initials into it with your key?
Speaking of chewing tobacco, two weekends ago, this hick walks in with some crap. I check the discs while my boss gives him prices. One of the games, Fable, has SPIT FROM CHEWING TOBACCO ALL OVER THE CASE. I get it on my fingers. The hick just goes "Must be COKE or something man." Yeah, sorry, Coke doesn't smell like that shit. So I run to back and wash off my hands. My boss actually BUYS the game from the guy. I go and clean it and then realize it's not even Fable. It's the Making of bonus DVD (has the same cover). My boss just goes "It's your fault. You should have checked it." I tell no, HE was pricing them and he should have noticed. I was busy trying to get SPIT off my hands. I had an excuse.
Fuck I hope I hear back from JET soon. I can't fucking stand this place any more. I work at another store now, too; it takes 30 minutes to get there, and the last few fridays, I've had to work all damn day (11+ hours) because the stupid fucking high school brat that's supposed to come in at four calls with excuses, then my boss, who gives me shit over the dumbest things, calls me at 6:30 to tell me he's not coming. "Yeah man, he told me yesterday." YESTERDAY?? Why didn't you fucking tell me YESTERDAY THEN ASSHOLE? My weekend plans keep on getting ruined and I'm sick of it.
It's not going to happen again...I'm closing the store next time.
I'm quite happy working in grocery stores. The stories I posted aren't me complaining about customers, but rather just sharing funny stories. I don't think these people are dumb, they are just eccentric.
If I run into an extremely annoying customer, I have no problem working with them to find a solution. I believe in quality customer service, because I recognize how shitty service is in most places. Part of that is knowing how to diffuse angry customers, and to know all of your available options to help reach a resolution.
When I run into a situation with a customer that is overly eccentric and is yelling at me, I have no problem with it. I just see it as a funny story to tell people still in progress.
I'm also a quarter and a half away from a psychology degree, so that probably factors into it too.
But it feels extremely good to be able to provide excellent customer service. People are so disillusioned because service is such shit in most of the places they shop. And it's just little dumb things, but you're still helping people out, and it feels good. Like, one time on Christmas Eve, we were out of frozen pound cake. This woman was like, "YOU'RE OUT OF POUND CAKE!? HOW CAN YOU BE OUT OF POUNDCAKE!?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!". Things were extremely busy, as you can imagine, and I had a shit load of crap that my boss wanted me to do. But even though I wasn't working frozen, I told her that I'd go back and check. I spent a good chunk of time back there, and finally found a box hidden under some other ones. I brought it out and handed her one, and she was like, "YOU JUST SAVED CHRISTMAS! THANK YOU!" I mean, I by no means saved Christmas. But I know how that lady feels- I'm very familiar with asshole clerks who will just look at the shelf, say "no, we're out", and walk away.
It's also important to recognize that customers are regular people too, and that you're just an asshole making attributional errors if you're trying to judge them based purely off of your interaction with them in a short period of time. I worked with a cashier who once had this older woman screaming at her. The cashier just stopped, and very polietly asked the customer, "Are you having a really bad day?". The older woman burst out crying, and told the cashier that she just found out that she had cancer.
If I run into an extremely annoying customer, I have no problem working with them to find a solution. I believe in quality customer service, because I recognize how shitty service is in most places. Part of that is knowing how to diffuse angry customers, and to know all of your available options to help reach a resolution.
When I run into a situation with a customer that is overly eccentric and is yelling at me, I have no problem with it. I just see it as a funny story to tell people still in progress.
I'm also a quarter and a half away from a psychology degree, so that probably factors into it too.
But it feels extremely good to be able to provide excellent customer service. People are so disillusioned because service is such shit in most of the places they shop. And it's just little dumb things, but you're still helping people out, and it feels good. Like, one time on Christmas Eve, we were out of frozen pound cake. This woman was like, "YOU'RE OUT OF POUND CAKE!? HOW CAN YOU BE OUT OF POUNDCAKE!?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!". Things were extremely busy, as you can imagine, and I had a shit load of crap that my boss wanted me to do. But even though I wasn't working frozen, I told her that I'd go back and check. I spent a good chunk of time back there, and finally found a box hidden under some other ones. I brought it out and handed her one, and she was like, "YOU JUST SAVED CHRISTMAS! THANK YOU!" I mean, I by no means saved Christmas. But I know how that lady feels- I'm very familiar with asshole clerks who will just look at the shelf, say "no, we're out", and walk away.
It's also important to recognize that customers are regular people too, and that you're just an asshole making attributional errors if you're trying to judge them based purely off of your interaction with them in a short period of time. I worked with a cashier who once had this older woman screaming at her. The cashier just stopped, and very polietly asked the customer, "Are you having a really bad day?". The older woman burst out crying, and told the cashier that she just found out that she had cancer.
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