That's pretty good advice
"Exotic" might not be a compliment towards people
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That's pretty good advice
Yeah man if I can't call someone exotic then what's the point of complimenting people all together. Shit getting too complicated.
this is sound advice, but I don't want gallantry to completely die out
Kai Dracon
Writing a dinosaur space opera symphony
This seems to be the simple principle that cuts through confusion and ambiguity.
Hmmm... I've called my friend's daughters exotic looking before. They look like a combination of Brooke Shields and Milla Jovovich in Blue Lagoon/Blue Lagoon 2, which to me is a very exotic look (would post pictures but my definition of NSFW and yours may be different). Maybe I'm doing it wrong.
The Elite
BOSS
Thanks, I will never tell my girlfriend that she has beautiful eyes again.
Labombadog
Member
I say let's ban all words to describe an individual since everything seem to offend somebody.
And I'm an "exotic" Puerto Rican.
And I'm an "exotic" Puerto Rican.
samus i am
Member
Agreed
I have never heard the term "exotic" used to describe an attractive person without it being tied to their race. And that's the point the thread is trying to bring attention to. I'm not offended when my friends and I are called exotic because I'm aware it's a compliment. It's just that the undertone implies that you're calling us exotic because you're saying I'm attractive ONLY because of my race.
There will be people that won't find it offensive if you call them exotic. My stance is that there are so many other ways to compliment someone, why choose that word.
But her weight/fitness level is fair game breh.
I have to go home and let me wife know she's not complimenting herself or others now by using the word =/
You use the word "exotic" for things, not people. As a word, it's incredibly patronizing, as if ethnic features so different from your own are so delightfully quaint.
Also, you come off as an incredible creep. So if you don't do it for the sake of other people, do it for your own.
Also, you come off as an incredible creep. So if you don't do it for the sake of other people, do it for your own.
I called someone exotic once cause I couldn't place their ethnicity.
Ended up with a broken pelvis from the snu-snu.
This is ridiculous. Exotic is a descriptor for something a person isn't familiar with. It literally says "different from everything I know". It's not derogatory it's not patronizing.
Ended up with a broken pelvis from the snu-snu.
This is ridiculous. Exotic is a descriptor for something a person isn't familiar with. It literally says "different from everything I know". It's not derogatory it's not patronizing.
What?
This...
Maybe if you're using the same descriptors that are typically used to describe objects, rather than people.
Like saying that a woman looks "high quality" instead of saying that she looks "stylish". But I'm not saying that this is some sort of RULE or something. It's just the way I personally see it.
I let tumblr do my thinking for me.
Idk how that could be more clear. Every compliment is like saying you're not like other people (using her argument).
I don't understand what you are saying. Please explain!
I get what you're saying, I really do. I guess I'd take the application of the word on a case by case basis.
But the person who said we should compliment based on what's in the person's control is probably right. So I'll just leave it alone.
I'm more of a buzzfeed kind of guy.
What about if you compliment someone on having a nice smile, or being smart? Those are not traits you have total control of.
You noted you find it complimentary. She does too. I was just making a joke that, in light of this thread and Random Internet Writer Proclaims X is Offensive opinion piece, I have to break the news to her that she's not complimenting herself or being complimentary or being complimented like she thought she was.
BadAss2961
Member
Because there's plenty of people that one would consider beautiful, but exotic is often used to describe someone that is not only beautiful, but strikingly different for whatever reason. People of all races have been called exotic because of whatever unique features they might have.
Do it. Just link it if you're worried.
I have used things like "I love latinas" or "I love asians" before, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean I don't just say it to a person's face to describe them. Like, it's creepy to approach a group of asians and say "I love asians"....But I've used it in casual conversation with people because I often find those cultures and ethnicities very attractive.
My immediate reaction to this was "who the hell ever thought exotic was a compliment?" But then I realized that there must be people who genuinely believe it's positive for it to be the dumb racist thing it is
It's not dumb and racist.
From a dictionary definition:
"strikingly unusual or strange in effect or appearance"
Words can be nuanced, the same word can have subtle differences when used in different contexts. This word could definitely be used in a racist way, but it's not racist by default in this context.
Tease...
No it isn't. Your post was absurd from top to bottom hence my reaction to it. That has nothing to do with whether or not "exotic" is appropriate compliment.
Women hate that. Only tell them that they have made an excellent choice in their evening attire and they demonstrate acute understanding of complimentary colours.
I have seen both beautiful paintings and beautiful women.
That's my point. "Beautiful" is frequently used for both, rather than just one.
Tim the Wiz
Banned
Context matters. But intentions? They can factor, but they aren't always worth much, especially when considering ignorant or warped people. Someone who says something like, 'she's attractive... for a black girl', might think they're giving a compliment, and have no active malice in their heart, but they're still engaging in an act of denigration IMO.
I guarantee you that it is nearly always experienced as a racist statement by the person hearing it, which is the entire point of this thread.
You might not consciously be thinking "oh, this person is 'strikingly unusual'", but as you point out, that's what the word you're using actually means. Not only is calling somebody unusual not a compliment, I don't consider myself unusual. So what you're really saying is "I think you're weird because of how different you are from me, but I like that."
How nuanced!
damn, girl, you so strikingly unusual
you so strange in effect
you so strange in appearance
Agreed!What an exotic thing to say!
Well, in Baltimore, everyone calls each other that, regardless of who you are. I don't think that's stopping anytime soon.
Then why use "exotic" at all? People from the same area can be unique from one another, so that specific choice of words just seems like a poor choice, at best.
No, your intentions aren't the most important thing at all. When you do something directly effecting another person or a group of people, their reactions are at the forefront, as they're the intended recipients. Intentions and practice are never 100% congruent, and sometimes the disparity can fluctuate wildly.
I mean, explain stalkers, then. In their eyes, their fanatical devotion is the highest form of flattery, yet the actual effects obviously differ from that perception. I could send you a box full of knives with the note "thinking of you," and I doubt you'd be running into my arms.
ratcliffja
Member
This happened to my wife before we were married. Some guys told her "normally I don't go for black girls but you're really pretty"... as if that wasn't insulting her heritage or something. People can be pretty clueless sometimes. For the record, she's 1/4 Japanese and also part Irish, French, Cherokee, and a bunch of other stuff, but still predominantly black.
She's trying to claim exotic means "you don't look like other people of your race"
I think people can use the word without race at all and she's bringing race into it.
As a ethnic minority, i would not take exotic as a negative. I obviously speak for all minorities in the entire world, well maybe not, but just as many as this writer/vlogger is.
I know sections of the internet are hell bent on being super politically correct, and their intentions seem nice, but its becoming creepy at this point how much policing over fucking words is being done.
I know sections of the internet are hell bent on being super politically correct, and their intentions seem nice, but its becoming creepy at this point how much policing over fucking words is being done.
You were pretty exotic last night.
And oriental means something from Asia. Look, this may come as a surprise for you and the other dictionary-thumpers, but they're really no authority on whether or not you can use a word to describe people. You can call a woman a "magnificent specimen" and the dictionary won't call you out on your creepy use of words.
The girls are under 18 so I can't post them (hopefully it didn't sound like I would)... but here are the Brooke Shields and Milla Jovovich pictures. May be NSFW-ish so don't click if you are worried (there is no nudity). It's hard to find pictures from Blue Lagoon that don't show a lot of skin.
Brooke - Blue Lagoon:
http://i.imgur.com/xFZDaK9.jpg
Milla - Blue Lagoon:
http://i.imgur.com/h8KQune.jpg
A vast majority of descriptors are used for both people and objects. This suggestion is molded more by regional preference than anything else. For example, you can call someone "wooden" which is obviously more "appropriate" for objects than an individual. This sort of suggestion is really sort of useless especially since it isn't even that applicable for exotic. I've heard that used about equally for objects and individuals.
Brianimaniac
Banned
You have much better examples available to illustrate your point than the mentally ill.
I usually say someone is exotic as a joke (oh you're from mid town manhattan, how exotic), that said I always took it as 'you're different than what I normally see' and yeah I could see how that could offend someone, but I never really thought it was so serious. Like the existence of this video actually surprised me a bit. I do think some of the examples used don't really relate to the core of the video, for example I don't think saying 'you're pretty for a black girl' is the same as saying 'you are exotic'.
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