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[Zakalwe]

I guarantee you that it is nearly always experienced as a racist statement by the person hearing it, which is the entire point of this thread.

Erm, you can say it to someone who is the exact same ethnicity as you, so that's ridiculous.

There's a thing called tact, judgement, you use it to understand which words to use in which context. Of course saying it to a person with a different ethnicity could be considered racist, especially if you don't know the person.

Choose your words based on the situation.

You might not consciously be thinking "oh, this person is 'strikingly unusual'", but as you point out, that's what the word you're using actually means. Not only is calling somebody unusual not a compliment, I don't consider myself unusual. So what you're really saying is "I think you're weird because of how different you are from me, but I like that."

How nuanced!

That's not what it means at all.

It means your look is unique, you stand out, some people would definitely take this as a compliment, others wouldn't. You use language combined with tact to judge these things.

I know a tansgendered guy who dresses incredibly flamboyantly, if I called him an exotic beauty he would appreciate it. I know this, because I know his personality.

It's about context, not all words are always suitable, but that doesn't mean they're inherently bad.

damn, girl, you so strikingly unusual

you so strange in effect

you so strange in appearance

EDIT: Let me re-phrase: Yes, it could be taken negatively, and putting it in those exact words doesn't sound great, but you could also write "I think you look incredibly unique", and there are people who would take that as a compliment.

 

[Malvolio]

Context matters. But intentions? They can factor, but they aren't always worth much, especially when considering ignorant or warped people. Someone who says something like, 'she's attractive... for a black girl', might think they're giving a compliment, and have no active malice in their heart, but they're still engaging in an act of denigration IMO.

Of course, but to be offended at ignorance is rather pointless. If there is no intention to harm, being offended is missing an opportunity to educated.

 

[blame space]

you shouldn't make other people feel out of place. you should be inclusive. you shouldn't compliment people on the fact that they are, in your eyes, "different."

 

[jasonng]

Because there's plenty of people that one would consider beautiful, but exotic is often used to describe someone that is not only beautiful, but strikingly different for whatever reason. People of all races have been called exotic because of whatever unique features they might have.

Well my experiences have skewed my opinion because I never heard it used to just describe unique features. Every time I hear someone call a girl exotic it's always immediately after saying "I love (insert race here) girls".

Here's an example. My coworker is Italian and at the time she was dating an Asian guy. She tells me that one of the reasons why he is dating her is because he finds her "exotic." Now mind you, she is pretty but nothing about her physical appearance has any striking unique features. She was baffled why he called her that. I had to point out that it's probably because he's never dated anyone outside his race. Then it clicked for her.

 

[BeesEight]

She's trying to claim exotic means "you don't look like other people of your race"

I think people can use the word without race at all and she's bringing race into it.

I think this is the biggest point. If anything I've seen the word leveraged more towards foreign culture than race. Like when a friend shows herself dressed in a kimono and is remarked "you look so exotic in that."

 

[Zakalwe]

you shouldn't make other people feel out of place. you should be inclusive. you shouldn't compliment people on the fact that they are, in your eyes, "different."

Entirely depends on the person.

Some people strive to be different and would take it as a massive compliment.

 

[samus i am]

You're basically saying: I find (insert race here) completely unattractive, but you look good

Kind of a backwards complement, and I don't blame anybody for taking offense to it.

 

[Karkador]

You don't understand how language works. See above.

Talks about tact and judgment; tells me this. Okay.


FWIW, dude, "exotic" very much has the context of being used to describe wild animals. I mean, if you had the choice to use "exotic" or "unique", which do you think is the safer option there?

 

[Zakalwe]

Talks about tact and judgment, tells me this. Okay.

I was right though, you don't understand.

Context, tact, knowing when words are suitable.

Some words don't work for every situation, that doesn't make them inherently wrong to use.

FWIW, dude, "exotic" very much has the context of being used to describe wild animals. I mean, if you had the choice to use "exotic" or "unique", which do you think is the safer option there?

Proves my point further.

 

[jasonng]

You know, now is as good as any to finally say this. Kark, I've always found you so exotic from the day I met you. You have so many unique features that I just can't look away.

I mean look at that sexy scruffy beard.

 

[QuicheFontaine]

Why are people taking the word "exotic" and making it synonymous with "weird" in this thread?

Exotic doesn't just mean weird, it's got a connotation just as weird does. You could probably break it down as

exotic = unusual + good

weird = unusual + bad

 

[Zombine]

Exotic is not a great synonym for beautiful.

 

[Yrael]

Yep, one of the troubles with "exotic" as a compliment is that it indeed basically "others" the person that the word is being applied to. This is an interesting and thoughtful opinion piece that explores the ramifications of exotic-as-compliment further:

http://www.the-beheld.com/2012/04/thoughts-on-word-exotic.html?m=1

It’s not terribly hard to see why exotic is problematic: In the States, white women are still perceived as neutral; dark-skinned women are the Other. For something to be exotic, by definition it must be the Other. So with exotic—which is usually used in an ostensibly positive sense, to describe a woman with striking beauty—we’re also looking sideways at its target, the message bearing the subtext of “You’re not from around here, are you?” And encoded in not being from around here is, Your beauty will never match our values. As LaShaun Williams at MadameNoire puts it about the “otherness” of being exotic: “Other than what? The set of standards that define true beauty. She is somehow beautiful without being ‘beautiful.’”

I recommend reading the whole piece.

 

[Zakalwe]

Why are people taking the word "exotic" and making it synonymous with "weird" in this thread?

Exotic doesn't just mean weird, it's got a connotation just as weird does. You could probably break it down as

exotic = unusual + good

weird = unusual + bad

This.

Of course, you shouldn't always use it, you make a judgement based on all factors and choose your language accordingly.

I really don't see what's so difficult about this.

Exotic is not a great synonym for beautiful.

No, it's not, because it isn't.

It means something else.

 

[Karkador]

You know, now is as good as any to finally say this. Kark, I've always found you so exotic from the day I met you. You have so many unique features that I just can't look away.

I mean look at that sexy scruffy beard.

I'm sorry, Jason. I don't understand language. Please show me in pictures or something.

 

[many places]

Your large mouth is exotic. I don't mean it as a compliment.

Haha. I get that being labelled exotic can make a person feel as though they are somehow the "other" no matter the intention. But i think the lady in the vid is wrong in saying that intentions dont matter. Ive heard peoole call others exotic with absolutely no malice in there voice. Ignorance, yes. Nevertheless, exotic isnt a good word to describe a human. And im no where near a politcally correctness type person but im gonna have to agree with it right now.

 

[Dicer]

You're basically saying: I find (insert race here) completely unattractive, but you look good

Kind of a backwards complement, and I don't blame anybody for taking offense to it.

Lol no, If I were to use this...it would be because I was attracted not the opposite. I wouldn't be offended by any compliment, because it's just that....a COMPLIMENT.

Seems like another instance of finding something to complain about, YouTube is full of this now...and it's getting to be a bit much.

 

[BeesEight]

FWIW, dude, "exotic" very much has the context of being used to describe wild animals. I mean, if you had the choice to use "exotic" or "unique", which do you think is the safer option there?

If I say "that music sounds exotic" am I equating it to beastial howling?

This is obviously not your point but simply because a lot of people use the word to describe parrots does not mean it can not be used in other contexts.

 

[Zakalwe]

I'm sorry, Jason. I don't understand language. Please show me in pictures or something.

You need to read my posts man.

Again: context, tact, good judgement. Some people would find 'exotic' a compliment. I know this because I know people who would.

 

[Two Words]

I agree with her. I am often called "exotic" by people simply because I do t have a typical black look. Instead of me being "exotic", they should just recognize that black people can look pretty different.

 

[Zakalwe]

I agree with her. I am often called "exotic" by people simply because I do t have a typical black look. Instead of me being "exotic", they should just recognize that black people can look pretty different.

Yes, in this situation it's not being used in a sensitive way.

That doesn't mean it's can't be used in a sensitive way.

 

[Two Words]

Lol no, If I were to use this...it would be because I was attracted not the opposite. I wouldn't be offended by any compliment, because it's just that....a COMPLIMENT.

Seems like another instance of finding something to complain about, YouTube is full of this now...and it's getting to be a bit much.

Compliments aren't always complimenting. I've had people tell me I speak well as an adult. What adult tells another adult that they speak well? Should I have any doubt he said that because I am black?

 

[ishibear]

What kind of person walks up to another and thinks it's cool to say "Hey you look exotic!"?

And why would someone call themself that? To perceive themself as a special snowflake or something?

 

[Karkador]

If I say that music sounds exotic am I equating it to beastial howling?

This is obviously not your point but simply because a lot of people use the word to describe parrots does not mean it can not be used in other contexts.

It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility to think that's what you meant (especially without hearing the music you're talking about). But part of it is also preconceived notions. I might think of "exotic" as unusual bird sounds. You think of bestial howling. I'm sure people imagine the word in different ways.

Of course the word can take many contexts. But some people seem to want to argue that something having multiple meanings will always be taken in the best meaning, and that people will always catch the intention properly.

You need to read my posts man.

Again: context, tact, good judgement. Some people would find 'exotic' a compliment. I know this because I know people who would.

Actually, I'm not reading any more of your posts.

 

[besada]

I'm too tired from staying up late watching civilization collapse in Ferguson to ban the people I'd normally ban in this thread, so instead I'll just roll out yet another warning.

If you come into this thread, or any thread, about an issue, and your only contribution is to dismiss the issue, or whine about the state of the world and how terrible political correctness is, you're likely to get banned.

If you aren't interested in discussing a topic, the correct response is to not post in the thread. When you complain about the topic and the thread, we consider that thread whining, and we ban you anywhere from two weeks to a month, or even longer if you're a habitual thread whiner.

So, stay on topic. If you want to discuss a different or tangential topic, go start a thread. And, as always, if you have questions or concerns regarding moderation, PM a mod.

 

[Faiz]

Exotic is more like, "you look out of the ordinary and you're hot/that adds to your hotness." rather than, "you look good for one of your people."

No idea where the second definition comes from.

This is exactly my line of thinking. I've never heard it used in the latter context.

 

[Dicer]

Compliments aren't always complimenting. I've had people tell me I speak well as an adult. What adult tells another adult that they speak well? Should I have any doubt he said that because I am black?

Maybe you have a well rounded vocabulary, people of all colors can speak very basically, others are more eloquent. Are you offended by all compliments?

 

[jasonng]

Why are people taking the word "exotic" and making it synonymous with "weird" in this thread?

Exotic doesn't just mean weird, it's got a connotation just as weird does. You could probably break it down as

exotic = unusual + good

weird = unusual + bad

No one here is associating it with the word weird. It's been established countless times that it is, indeed, a compliment. And it does draw attention to a uniqueness about that person you're using it on. The question is, are you really complimenting them because of their features or because of their race?

 

[RockTurtle]

in my country it's used as a compliment or to point out extreme beauty you don't see everyday. if could be a different hair color, different color eyes, clothing, manner of acting, or even a different country. People usually thank you for being referred as such.

but from the thread i see others have applied other meanings to it. which comes from their geographical location.

kinda like how SODA and POP are both words for the same thing but people from different places refer to them in the manner that is geogrraphically relevant.

So i will not use EXOTIC with american people, because it seem you seem to take it as an affront to alienate rather than just a compliment!

ISN'T LANGUAGE WONDERFUL!

 

[Zakalwe]

Actually, I'm not reading any more of your posts.

You started our discourse by interacting with me in a blunt way, I responded in kind. I apologise for that, I'm more than happy to put that behind us and discuss things in a civil way.

If you don't want to read my posts now, that's fine, it doesn't change the fact you're not taking into consideration that the word can be used in a sensitive way, and some people would like it as a compliment.

-

I wouldn't use it to call a black person beautiful. I'm white. It could be construed as racist, or make them feel like they stand out in a negative way.

I would use it to call my male transgender friend beautiful because he strives to be exotic. I also know him, and know he'd take it well.

Just because a word can be used in an insensitive way doesn't mean it always will be, or that calling a person 'exotic' is by default a bad thing. It's about context.

No one here is associating it with the word weird. It's been established countless times that it is, indeed, a compliment. And it does draw attention to a uniqueness about that person you're using it on. The question is, are you really complimenting them because of their features or because of their race?

The word doesn't have to have anything to do with race. You can call a person the same race as you 'exotic'.

 

[Zombine]

No, it's not, because it isn't.

It means something else.

I mean, I think there are good intentions when a person is called "exotic," but if it makes you feel uncomfortable there is an issue with it. I know it makes my gf feel uncomfortable.

 

[Infinite]

in my country it's used as a compliment or to point out extreme beauty you don't see everyday. if could be a different hair color, different color eyes, clothing, manner of acting, or even a different country. People usually thank you for being referred as such.

but from the thread i see others have applied other meanings to it. which comes from their geographical location.

kinda like how SODA and POP are both words for the same thing but people from different places refer to them in the manner that is geogrraphically relevant.

So i will not use EXOTIC with american people, because it seem you seem to take it as an affront to alienate rather than just a compliment!

ISN'T LANGUAGE WONDERFUL!

That's usually how language works

 

[kehs]

And oriental means something from Asia. Look, this may come as a surprise for you and the other dictionary-thumpers, but they're really no authority on whether or not you can use a word to describe people. You can call a woman a "magnificent specimen" and the dictionary won't call you out on your creepy use of words.

Dictionary thumper?

Lol, it's fucking language that people use in the real world. This isn't some random exotic word we're talking about.

 

[Zakalwe]

I know it makes my gf feel uncomfortable.

Right, you judge the situation and use words accordingly.

You're doing it right.

That doesn't make the word wrong to use as a compliment, just not always suitable.

 

[David Incorporated Esq.]

It isn't a word that I would use because it sounds awkward, but I've always taken it to mean that someone has positive features that make them stand out from the crowd--like a step in the direction of being truly unique.

I can think of very few situations where there isn't a word that would be a better fit than "exotic", though.

 

[Zakalwe]

It isn't a word that I would use because it sounds awkward, but I've always taken it to mean that someone has positive features that make them stand out from the crowd--like a step in the direction of being truly unique.

I can think of very few situations where there isn't a word that would be a better fit than "exotic", though.

Yeh, it's definitely niche when used this way. There are times it can be a compliment, but a lot of the time it could easily upset.

There are lots of words like this, it doesn't mean they should never be used.

 

[N7Slayer24]

Never thought it as an offensive word. I pictured it as meaning "uncommonly or uniquely beautiful"

I doesn't have to tie into race really. It could be used to describe a French, German, Italian, etc person, or any person of particular nationality that's uncommon in your respective area.

 

[samus i am]

Lol no, If I were to use this...it would be because I was attracted not the opposite. I wouldn't be offended by any compliment, because it's just that....a COMPLIMENT.

Seems like another instance of finding something to complain about, YouTube is full of this now...and it's getting to be a bit much.

My first girlfriend was extremely beautiful and was the same complexion as Lupita Nyong'o. "I don't like black women, but I like you" is not a complement. Trust me.

 

[Two Words]

Maybe you have a well rounded vocabulary, people of all colors can speak very basically, others are more eloquent. Are you offended by all compliments?

I was not using exceptional vocabulary. I was just using proper grammar.

 

[Lesath]

Dictionary thumper?

Lol, it's fucking language that people use in the real world. This isn't some random exotic word we're talking about.

Just because a word is listed in the dictionary doesn't mean it's appropriate for people. I had given an example in my prior post, too. Refute it.

 

[Infinite]

Never thought it as an offensive word. I pictured it as meaning "uncommonly or uniquely beautiful"

I doesn't have to tie into race really. It could be used to describe a French, German, Italian, etc person, or any person of particular nationality that's uncommon in your respective area.

I don't think the article is saying it's an offensive word it's just you shouldn't use to describe a human being whether or not you meant it as a compliment.

 

[jasonng]

The word doesn't have to have anything to do with race. You can call a person the same race as you 'exotic'.

And I would agree with you if I have ever heard it used within the same race.

You are absolutely right though and I apologize for making this a racial issue. I only speak through my experiences.

 

[BeesEight]

It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility to think that's what you meant (especially without hearing the music you're talking about). But part of it is also preconceived notions. I might think of "exotic" as unusual bird sounds. You think of bestial howling. I'm sure people imagine the word in different ways.

Of course the word can take many contexts. But some people seem to want to argue that something having multiple meanings will always be taken in the best meaning, and that people will always catch the intention properly.

I suppose then it has gained additional meaning in your region than it has ever had in mine. I've never heard exotic to have animalistic undertones and that its association to animals is as strong as its association to a foreign art style.

Perhaps this is more an American thing then. I will admit that there is a very nuanced history in the States which carries undercurrents of tension and demeaning towards race that I do not comprehend. I have never heard exotic used for a black person who isn't, say, dressed out of the local norm. I've heard authentic French cuisine called exotic and it wasn't meant to indicate it was base or only fit for animals.

 

[ishibear]

Maybe you have a well rounded vocabulary, people of all colors can speak very basically, others are more eloquent. Are you offended by all compliments?

Some compliments border on objectification and ignorance, be it unintentional or not. By calling someone exotic, you are ostracising them for personal reasons based solely on your perceptions, despite how that may make them feel. This is not the same as calling someone beautiful or dazzling, etc because those are universally seen as compliments. They have no relation to your race, etc. But the term exotic is calling someone different.

If you want to be nice and appeal to someone desire to be different but do so respectfully, might I recommend, unique, or refreshing, cool, etc? Not many people get the compliment that they're cool (it has little to do with race, it's a neutral term and is even separate from gender terming).

Why not keep some compliments to yourself though? Have some of you ever thought that the need to shower people with compliments is solely to relieve yourself and opinions onto that person? It has nothing to do with them, it's about you. Well, unless it's called for, its really not necessary to be throwing around compliments all the time. Stop subjecting people to take your compliments, they don't have to.

 

[N7Slayer24]

in my country it's used as a compliment or to point out extreme beauty you don't see everyday. if could be a different hair color, different color eyes, clothing, manner of acting, or even a different country. People usually thank you for being referred as such.

Yeah, people seem to be focusing on the "race" aspect of it, and not realizing that "exotic" can be used to refer to just about ANYTHING that's usually appealing.

 

[Zakalwe]

I don't think the article is saying it's an offensive word it's just you shouldn't use to describe a human being whether or not you meant it as a compliment.

Which is just silly, because not all human beings will be offended by it as a compliment.

I know human beings who would take it well. Does the fact that people exist who wouldn't take it well mean I shouldn't use it to compliment the people who would?

 

[kehs]

Just because a word is listed in the dictionary doesn't mean it's appropriate for people. I had given an example in my prior post, too. Refute it.

Not too come off as some sort of dictionary thumper, but you're trying to make an argument based on conflating nouns and adjectives.

 

[BloodMoney]

nvrmd

 

[Zombine]

I wish someone would call me exotic though.

 

[pigeon]

Erm, you can say it to someone who is the exact same ethnicity as you, so that's ridiculous.

There's a thing called tact, judgement, you use it to understand which words to use in which context.

This entire discussion is about how using the word "exotic" to describe a person is tactless.

You could say it to somebody who is the exact same ethnicity as you, sure. You COULD do anything.

Nor is it necessarily not racist to use the word to describe somebody of the same ethnicity as you, if you're doing it because of their look (i.e., they're browner).

It means your look is unique, you stand out, some people would definitely take this as a compliment, others wouldn't. You use language combined with tact to judge these things.

I'm not sure why you keep saying this like it's a magic word. Yes, in the infinite vastness of the universe, containing within it a never-ending multiplicity of possible events, you could interact with people who found it complimentary to be called exotic, and if you could identify that situation, you could safely use the word.

If you can actually identify every social situation perfectly and the appropriate phrases and actions to take, then many discussions about social graces will seem foreign to you.

But many people use the word "exotic" in situations where the people they're talking to will be offended, and they should stop doing that unless it's their explicit goal.