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FakeGAF Episode 5: The Thirst Awakens
- Thread starter WhereAreMahDragonz
- Start date
- Status
I haven't had sex in a month
Why?
I haven't had sex in a month
I can top that by over a decade, or my life span if you wanna get specific
Halcyon
Member
my wife is very very pregnant and she says it hurts, plus I can't deal with the fact that my penis is cm's away from my daughters face.
my ex is a good person and very doubtfully the catalyist to such event but yeah I can do much better
whats the point then
i dont' actually like alcohol
exactly
i've never sexed
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
"sex is overrated", I say, as I sit here, thirsty af
liliththepale
Banned
The nicest, most expensive wedding I've ever been to was a shotgun wedding between a 21 and 30 year old couple who met in rehab. It was an awesome party but kind of a waste considering they were divorced fourteen months later and now she's raising two of his kids on her own.
Fortunately that's the only bad marriage story I have with my friends. The vast majority of them are thriving and super happy.
If it makes you feel better, I used a 26-year old Vitamix this morning (it's older than I am). They last forever and a day.
Fortunately that's the only bad marriage story I have with my friends. The vast majority of them are thriving and super happy.
If it makes you feel better, I used a 26-year old Vitamix this morning (it's older than I am). They last forever and a day.
Well you have a legit reason! I haven't been with anyone since last August lol
Granted that was a semi-serious relationship that just didn't work out and I haven't really tried to meet anyone since.
Was gonna track back your post history for my reply to that post, but got lazy.
You Know Nothing
Member
We had sex ed in 5th grade. Well I mean we learned about sperm and eggs and puberty and stuff. Then in 7th grade we had an abstinence only thing. It was horrible. Literally putting a piece of tape on your skin and passing it around to see how dirty it became. Indirect slut shaming yay. Also no porn ever!!!!!!!!1111111111 Then in 8th or 9th grade we had real sex ed again in health class.
This was all in a backwoods rural school district. So I suppose overall we were pretty progressive in that respect.
Just don't do it. Promise? Okay, everybody take some rubbers.
This was all in a backwoods rural school district. So I suppose overall we were pretty progressive in that respect.
Just don't do it. Promise? Okay, everybody take some rubbers.
She's just trying to lie to herself to stop thinking about it, clearly isn't working.
!The nicest, most expensive wedding I've ever been to was a shotgun wedding between a 21 and 30 year old couple who met in rehab. It was an awesome party but kind of a waste considering they were divorced fourteen months later and now she's raising two of his kids on her own.
Fortunately that's the only bad marriage story I have with my friends. The vast majority of them are thriving and super happy.
that does remind me that we sorta did cover STDs in one class but it was more of a general health class. no condoms or anything like that though we did learn how to feel for testicular and breast cancers (not on eachother obv. they had these rubbery things to feel)
Fuck yeah Vitamix! I got a hand-me-down one when my parents got a new one. It's like 12 years old now but it still rocks.
in sex ed they taught us how to fuck. showed us.
I saw a bunch of cop cars later that year. wonder if it was related
speak for yourself
I saw a bunch of cop cars later that year. wonder if it was related
speak for yourself
Halcyon
Member
In 4th grade I had the basics of sex down but I thought you just put your noodle dick in a woman and left it there.
My other friend hypothesized that you had to move it in and out which I thought was impossible because it would keep falling out.
I did not know that an erection was caused by sexual arousal. I thought it only happened when you had to pee at night.
My other friend hypothesized that you had to move it in and out which I thought was impossible because it would keep falling out.
I did not know that an erection was caused by sexual arousal. I thought it only happened when you had to pee at night.
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
My mom used to watch soap operas so I thought babies came from kissing
same. I just figured I was missing something though so I ignored it for years
more recently though, in 9th grade I thought "oral sex" was a euphemism for making out
You Know Nothing
Member
I thought oral sex was like phone sex for the longest time. lmao
nnnnnnnn
Not you reminding me that I used to watch soap operas when I was a teen. Passions was trash television paradise.
nnnnnnnn
Not you reminding me that I used to watch soap operas when I was a teen. Passions was trash television paradise.
Whoa, Days of our Lives is still on?
Me trying to figure out how to operate myself at age 13 or whatever it was was extremely sad and extremely hilarious. I remember if I got home from school first I'd rush to the bathroom and start my experiments
When it finally clicked I never looked back
You Know Nothing
Member
Saw ads like this way too many times as a kid.
And meanwhile I was just like, "This is doing nothing for me."
And meanwhile I was just like, "This is doing nothing for me."
This is early 2000sies but it left a strong impression on me
I remember when Lost came on, I went "oh, wow, that's the livelinks girl"
Halcyon
Member
The first time I had an orgasm i was in the shower and I was putting a balloon on myself because I thought that's what a condom was. I remember almost passing out from that one and being very confused about what just happened.
That's why my wife is actually a balloon.
This is why we need sex ed...
Halcyon
Member
Nomadic Sparks
Banned
Here's a family reunion last summer.
She's the apple of my eye.
Goddamn
Nomadic Sparks
Banned
We all super thirsty but we all remember to put on rubbers before quenching our thirst.
You Know Nothing
Member
mpreg fanfic disagrees.
iirc yes but not the release date. last i heard speculation was that it'll come out after defenders
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
So...erotic Blue's Clues fanfiction exists.
Dragonz has officially entered the part of the internet that no one should go to.
Awesome! I actually liked Jessica Jones better than Daredevil personally, even if it got a bit slow in the middle.
Awesome! I actually liked Jessica Jones better than Daredevil personally, even if it got a bit slow in the middle.
Nomadic Sparks
Banned
liliththepale
Banned
I want to have two kids when I'm older. One boy and girl each, hopefully right around the same age.
But not right now. Right now being pregnant would be a huge nuisance.
You Know Nothing
Member
Major FakeGAF throwback with this picture.
I got bored of daredevil but found JJ fascinating all the way through. they're fairly different kinds of shows
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
Jake do you remember the Cars Tentacle Porn fanfic
Halcyon
Member
Jessica Jones is sexy af
girls with dark hair ftw
I think so too, but I also think she has knock-knees which kinda saddens me.
Posture and bone structure is really important to me. I'm very shallow
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