timetokill
Banned
McGRIZZLE'S FISTS-ONLY ADVENTURES IN THE WASTELAND -- LOG 6
Previous Logs: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Hey there, fellow fistmen. Been a while.
What've I been up to? Well, you know me, always making friends.
Speakin' of friends, I decided to head back on to Diamond City. First time since I cleared out that bar. Everyone had cooled off since then, or at least decided not to run their mouth lest they get a jawful of my fist. Since I made scrap outta that robot chef, people I guess learned to make their own noodles. I guess life goes on, ya know?
So anyway this reporter, the same one that I came into town with in the first place, she keeps asking me for a story. Now I ain't much for talkin', as I prefer to let my fists do that for me. So I give her the only story I know: "Person asking questions gets beat to death." Only she's another goddamn Essential. They're fucking everywhere and it's driving me up a wall. On the other hand, it means I can punch her for a good 5 minutes solid and she can't do nothin' about it but take it. I imagine that's its own kinda hell.
Now here's where the bullshit starts, dear reader. I was minding my own business, walloping this nosey reporter in the confines of her house. Now somehow, when I walk back outside, everyone's angry again! Did everyone have their ears up against the door or somethin'?! Does nobody in this goddamn town care about PRIVACY?! I take note of the fact that none of them came in and stopped me during all that punching, so they can't have cared that much about the reporter in the first place. Maybe somebody realized they gotta make their own noodles now and got uppity. Who the fuck knows. All that matters is I got security up my ass trying to put me away. And instead of being MEN about it and having a good round of fisticuffs, they're using them pansy-ass bullet-slingers.
Goddamn heathens.
Anyway, I gotta get, and quick. So I run, and I run. I got a bit of a lead, and I come across a park in a residential area. And what do I see but some huge motherfuckin' bear things, these yao guais, and I see I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. But what should I spy in the middle of this park? A little green ufo thing. Something big enough for a man, but not enough for a mutant bear. I hear the security guys coming from behind and I figure it's time to give 'em a little surprise.
I crawl inside the UFO. The bears come over to say hello.
I say hi back, and settle in for a good show.
Now, I ain't got no beef with bears. They do their fightin' respectable-like, no guns, no lasers, no grenades, just what tools God gave 'em.
Anyhow, moments later Diamond City Security comes rollin' in, thinking they got me trapped. Ohohoho.
The bears take note, and the show is on. I only got little round viewports but hey, it's better than nothing.
What I wouldn't have given for some popcorn!
Anyhow, by the end all but one or two of the security goons is dead, and the bears are dead, and the rest is up to Old Faithfuls One and Two. After the bears, my fists give 'em no respite. Down they go, and away I go.
Until next time, keep on punchin'!
- McGrizzle
Previous Logs: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Hey there, fellow fistmen. Been a while.
What've I been up to? Well, you know me, always making friends.
Speakin' of friends, I decided to head back on to Diamond City. First time since I cleared out that bar. Everyone had cooled off since then, or at least decided not to run their mouth lest they get a jawful of my fist. Since I made scrap outta that robot chef, people I guess learned to make their own noodles. I guess life goes on, ya know?
So anyway this reporter, the same one that I came into town with in the first place, she keeps asking me for a story. Now I ain't much for talkin', as I prefer to let my fists do that for me. So I give her the only story I know: "Person asking questions gets beat to death." Only she's another goddamn Essential. They're fucking everywhere and it's driving me up a wall. On the other hand, it means I can punch her for a good 5 minutes solid and she can't do nothin' about it but take it. I imagine that's its own kinda hell.
Now here's where the bullshit starts, dear reader. I was minding my own business, walloping this nosey reporter in the confines of her house. Now somehow, when I walk back outside, everyone's angry again! Did everyone have their ears up against the door or somethin'?! Does nobody in this goddamn town care about PRIVACY?! I take note of the fact that none of them came in and stopped me during all that punching, so they can't have cared that much about the reporter in the first place. Maybe somebody realized they gotta make their own noodles now and got uppity. Who the fuck knows. All that matters is I got security up my ass trying to put me away. And instead of being MEN about it and having a good round of fisticuffs, they're using them pansy-ass bullet-slingers.
Goddamn heathens.
Anyway, I gotta get, and quick. So I run, and I run. I got a bit of a lead, and I come across a park in a residential area. And what do I see but some huge motherfuckin' bear things, these yao guais, and I see I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. But what should I spy in the middle of this park? A little green ufo thing. Something big enough for a man, but not enough for a mutant bear. I hear the security guys coming from behind and I figure it's time to give 'em a little surprise.
I crawl inside the UFO. The bears come over to say hello.
I say hi back, and settle in for a good show.
Now, I ain't got no beef with bears. They do their fightin' respectable-like, no guns, no lasers, no grenades, just what tools God gave 'em.
Anyhow, moments later Diamond City Security comes rollin' in, thinking they got me trapped. Ohohoho.
The bears take note, and the show is on. I only got little round viewports but hey, it's better than nothing.
What I wouldn't have given for some popcorn!
Anyhow, by the end all but one or two of the security goons is dead, and the bears are dead, and the rest is up to Old Faithfuls One and Two. After the bears, my fists give 'em no respite. Down they go, and away I go.
Until next time, keep on punchin'!
- McGrizzle
