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[Krejlooc]

Hopefully this isn't inappropriate to ask, but in your experience do you have any control over yourself when you are drunk? I have never drank enough alcohol to get intoxicated and never want to.

Unless you are blackout drunk, you still are aware of your actions. Many people use being drunk as an excuse to act foolishly under the guise that they can't control themselves, actually. There is a well known study where subjects were given near-beer while telling the people they were drinking beer and monitored the results.

However, even if you are blackout drunk, you still have to make the choice to drink in the first place, unless you were roofied or whatever.

The subject of being blackout drunk is and of itself interesting, because it's something guys can do much more freely than girls, because we don't have to fear getting taken advantage of sexually nearly as much.

 

[hughesta]

I've been drunk many times in social settings, blackout occasionally, and I've never fucking molested anyone. I should hope no one here has either. It's not a thing that normal people do when they get drunk. It's a thing that pieces of shit do when they're drunk.

 

[petran79]

Hopefully this isn't inappropriate to ask, but in your experience do you have any control over yourself when you are drunk? I have never drank enough alcohol to get intoxicated and never want to.

I only spoke drivel but was far too drunk to walk or stand. So I lay on the couch and slept...

 

[Tal Shiar Agent]

We've had a lot of "I don't condone this, but" in this thread

Its fucking disgusting.


There is a reason why the saying "in vino veritas" has persisted so long. If you are capable of molestation while drunk you are capable of it while sober. This guy needs the book thrown at him with a prison sentence, deportation, and barred from ever reentering the country.

 

[MrBadger]

I just think some people get defensive because they themselves may have done some things while drunk that they deeply regret. I know I have.

So have I and so have, I assume, a handful of other people in this thread. Accepting responsibility for what you do when intoxicated is necessary.

 

[Fahzgoolin]

Depends on how much you drink. After a certain point you will straight up "black out" and are essentially unconscious.

woah... so you can "black out", but still be moving about? That's terrifying.

 

[Krejlooc]

Even when you are blackout drunk, you're still not completely out of character. Last time I got blackout drunk was in college, and I managed to catch a bus and ride home by myself, despite not remembering a thing. And, get this - I didn't molest anybody either.

 

[Darryl]

So the victim should have just kept silent. Think of the feelings of the guy that molested her.

Any other advice for how sexual assault victims should deal with being sexually assaulted? Have to think of the molester first, of course.

I clearly said this should be handled with the parties involved and the police. Incredible though. I won't even begin to try to approach some of these replies. You guys have at him.

 

[Bloodporne]

Of course this shit needs to know. It's the only way that we can be sure that more people don't do it, showing how molesting people will get you in trouble, also to show that victims are safe to talk about it. If we hide it, it will keep happening.

Also wtf at the girls wouldnt've been in trouble if she was alone? really?

Awareness is important for the potential victim demographic for obvious reasons but thinking it'll majorly reduce the incidents or deter potential attackers is sadly wishful thinking.

 

[GeordieMark]

Being drunk is no excuse for what this guy did. Glad to see he has already felt the backlash, but I'm completely amazed by his response. He's more sorry for himself being seen in a bad light than for what he did wrong.

There's something seriously wrong with you if you do stuff like that, and alcohol isn't the cause.

 

[Krejlooc]

woah... so you can "black out", but still be moving about? That's terrifying.

that's what being black out drunk is - you basically pass out mentally but still keep going physically.

 

[cartographer]

I clearly said this should be handled with the parties involved and the police. Incredible though. I won't even begin to try to approach some of these replies. You guys have at him.

She doesn't want to involve the police.

So if she doesn't, she shouldn't speak about it at all? That's effectively what you said.

edit: She filed a police report of course. I don't know where I'm remembering the part of her talking about charges and could easily be attributing to her something she did not say. So ignore that.

But the point stands: you don't need to silence sexual assault victims.

edit2 : This is her second post talking about coming forward.

 

[Kuraudo]

Hopefully this isn't inappropriate to ask, but in your experience do you have any control over yourself when you are drunk? I have never drank enough alcohol to get intoxicated and never want to.

Of course.

Who else would be in control of you? Alcohol isn't some intelligent parasite from Star Trek.

You body may not be as well coordinated, and you may not be able to grasp at the English language the way you normally do, but it's still you at the helm.

 

[Krejlooc]

Yea, maybe. But there's nothing here to indicate he was violent or even that the girl would've been in trouble had she been alone. Nothing to indicate it was planned or premeditated. I can't say I'm not confounded by the community reaction. This shouldn't be something the world needs to know about. This should be something the known parties and the police should've talked about. Hard to say what kinda impact alerting social media like this will have on his life. He will never get a good job again, or do much of anything important. He may have just needed to quit drinking.

The law disagrees with you. When this guy is eventually (hopefully) charged and taken to court and found guilty, he will have to register as a sex offender. They make you register as a sex offender so others can know that you're dangerous.

 

[Gestault]

woah... so you can "black out", but still be moving about? That's terrifying.

Yeah, I feel like there are a decent number of people who assume "black-out drunk" just refers to becoming unconscious, but my understanding was that it refers to lapses in memory. It could be a moment or a number of hours, and you just simply don't have the memory of what happened, even when to everyone else you're up and active.

It's so scary.

 

[Bluenoser]

Hopefully this isn't inappropriate to ask, but in your experience do you have any control over yourself when you are drunk? I have never drank enough alcohol to get intoxicated and never want to.

You do have control. The issue is that if you've had enough to be considered "drunk", you are more prone to doing things that seem like a good idea, because your brain can't process that they aren't and stop you.

Yeah, I feel like there are a decent number of people who assume "black-out drunk" just refers to becoming unconscious, but my understanding was that it refers to lapses in memory. It could be a moment or a number of hours, and you just simply don't have the memory of what happened, even when to everyone else you're up and active.

It's so scary.

Absolutely. In my experience (with myself and friends) blacking out rarely if ever refers to passing out- it's the memory lapses that get you. I have found that a night of drinking something like Vodka, and I will likely forget at least part of what happened. That being said, there's a reason I haven't drank Vodka since I was in my early 20's. Why persist with something that is dangerous?

 

[Christine]

my point was lost on you, re-read until it sinks in

You're fucking ridiculous

 

[Tumle]

Do you jump in with suggestions of psychological issues in response to reports on every crime, or just sexual assaults on women?

I know that it's not taken like that.. But any person who wants to do harm to another person suffers a psychological flaw, long or short term.. But that's my personal opinion and not one that is practised.. Especially in the US, where reformation is not a big part of the prison system, and just locking people up, to later letting them out with even bigger psychological problems and problems to fit in..
Criminals and perverts like this guy are not the victim (only of there own inability to be a reasonable human being), but they should get help with there problems if you don't want repeat offenders..

 

[molnizzle]

So have I and so have, I assume, a handful of other people in this thread. Accepting responsibility for what you do when intoxicated is necessary.

Definitely.

woah... so you can "black out", but still be moving about? That's terrifying.

Yep. And yes it can be terrifying. I've got a pretty gnarly scar on my face that I literally can't explain beyond "I got way too drunk one night."

 

[Krejlooc]

RE: Amount of control when drunk

Alcohol makes you lose your inhibition. It does not put crazy thoughts in your head, only prevents you from realizing you shouldn't act upon them. If you're not the kind of person who has to fight urges to sexually molest women, alcohol will not make you molest them.

Thats why many people say alcohol exposes your true self.

 

[diaspora]

Alcohol doesn't change who you are or your desires, it's a makes you essentially braver or less inhibited to do what you want to do. If a person gets drunk it's not like they suddenly switch sexualities for instance.

 

[MUnited83]

my point was lost on you, re-read until it sinks in

You don't have any point, you came here without even reading the OP just to make a dumb post. Go away.

 

[Theanine3D]

The law disagrees with you. When this guy is eventually (hopefully) charged and taken to court and found guilty, he will have to register as a sex offender. They make you register as a sex offender so others can know that you're dangerous.

She apparently decided not to take further legal action, so I don't know if that will happen anymore.

But now the entire Internet knows what he is and what he did. Which might be an even worse punishment.

 

[Platy]

I just think some people get defensive because they themselves may have done some things while drunk that they deeply regret. I know I have.

If you regret something does not mean you wish everyone that did the same goes free and unpunished.

The WHOLE POINT of regreting is thinking you did something VERY wrong

 

[Krejlooc]

She apparently decided not to take further legal action, so I don't know if that will happen anymore.

But now the entire Internet knows what he is and what he did. Which might be an even worse punishment.

I respect this woman's decision but wish she'd reconsider. If this can happen twice, it can happen again. The guy is dangerous.

 

[Ferr986]

Awareness is important for the potential victim demographic for obvious reasons but thinking it'll majorly reduce the incidents or deter potential attackers is sadly wishful thinking.

Yes that's true, but it needs to be done regardless.

 

[HStallion]

As someone who used to have a serious drinking problem and could treat people like crap or do really stupid dangerous stuff while black out drunk I have no excuses. Being drunk or not that was still me doing those things and if anyone thinks otherwise then you're fooling yourselves.

 

[Negaduck]

If someone I knew did something like that I would have kicked them out of the room. If they have absolutely zero places to stay I would make them sleep in the car or something.

I don't even know how there is any discussion in favor of the player he molested someone in there sleep.

There should be zero tolerance for that sort of behavior.

There is a difference between a good person making a bad decision, and someone molesting someone else in their sleep.

Guy is a piece of shit. Being drunk to me is never an excuse for shitty behavior.

Makes me sick.

 

[Bluenoser]

RE: Amount of control when drunk

Alcohol makes you lose your inhibition. It does not put crazy thoughts in your head, only prevents you from realizing you shouldn't act upon them. If you're not the kind of person who has to fight urges to sexually molest women, alcohol will not make you molest them.

Thats why many people say alcohol exposes your true self.

Actually it can. Please stop speaking for everyone else. My wife and I were out Saturday night, and when we got home, instead of watching TV or playing a game as I normally would (love throwing on an obscure game when loaded), I turned on satellite radio and listened to music with my wife for hours.... way out of character for me, and doing this is not something I would normally think to do when not under the influence.

Before you point it out I know that listening to music doesn't equal molestation, but my point is, alcohol does make your mind go places it wouldn't normally. What else could explain why someone leaving a bar would go get tacos at 2am? Gross.

 

[Hip Hop]

Alcohol is such a terrible drug. Not sticking up for the guy as I don't even know him or what game he plays, but I doubt someone would do this kind of shit if they weren't really damn drunk. Why is this drug legal again?

Let's get rid of alcohol, you're right
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...-now-theyre-dealing-with-something-far-worse/

That's the problem with people like you, always in other peoples business and want to speak for everyone else. Just like when people tried to get violent video games banned, using it as a scapegoat for the real problems.

 

[Nairume]

I respect this woman's decision but wish she'd reconsider. If this can happen twice, it can happen again. The guy is dangerous.

For what it's worth, here is her actual statement regarding taking things further

After talking to many people, I want to prioritize my dream, hobby, and potential career above this situation. I filed a report with the hotel security and was given the option to take it even further. My goal within the Smash community is to grow not only as competitor but as a professional caster as well. I do not want this situation to dwell above my head for a long period of time. I made a tweet about the situation to spread AWARENESS. I do not want this to happen to ANYONE ELSE. The judgement of the community will take it's turn with this situation and hopefully bring more awareness to tournament safety. If I go through with further legal action, I will never be allowed to go to another out of state tournament, again. Coming from a Hispanic family, they will never let me travel out of fear for my safety and I do not want to bring them any worry. Thank you to everyone sending me your support, I appreciate it so much more than you can imagine. Again, I'm still trying to recollect my thoughts and proper emotions about the situation but I believe I will be fine thanks to the support from the community.

 

[PsychoSoldier]

If anyone's first impulse is to worry about the guy, I would implore you to read about the sometimes lifelong consequences of being sexually assaulted on your well being.

And yes, making this shit public is sometimes important because even if she didn't want to get the police involved, it is important that if he isn't totally ostracized that women know to be careful around him or to avoid tournaments where he'll be.

 

[John Rabbit]

Actually it can. Please stop speaking for everyone else. My wife and I were out Saturday night, and when we got home, instead of watching TV or playing a game as I normally would (love throwing on an obscure game when loaded), I turned on satellite radio and listened to music with my wife for hours.... way out of character for me, and doing this is not something I would normally think to do when not under the influence.

Before you point it out I know that listening to music doesn't equal molestation, but my point is, alcohol does make your mind go places it wouldn't normally. What else could explain why someone leaving a bar would go get tacos at 2am? Gross.

I feel like this is a post you should've written out but then not actually gone through with submitting it. You're splitting hairs that nobody is arguing about.

 

[Bluenoser]

For what it's worth, here is her actual statement regarding taking things further

Damn that is awful. Fear of not being able to compete because of assholes like that guy? I can certainly understand why her parents might be worried, but if proper precautions were taken next time - maybe having her own room for example.

I feel like this is a post you should've written out but then not actually gone through with submitting it. You're splitting hairs that nobody is arguing about.

Then people need to stop saying alcohol has no affect on decision making abilities, because it really does. That said, I am in full agreement with those that say it would not make you sexually assault someone - you still know that is wrong even when intoxicated.

 

[Krejlooc]

Actually it can. Please stop speaking for everyone else. My wife and I were out Saturday night, and when we got home, instead of watching TV or playing a game as I normally would (love throwing on an obscure game when loaded), I turned on satellite radio and listened to music with my wife for hours.... way out of character for me, and doing this is not something I would normally think to do when not under the influence.

Before you point it out I know that listening to music doesn't equal molestation, but my point is, alcohol does make your mind go places it wouldn't normally. What else could explain why someone leaving a bar would go get tacos at 2am? Gross.

I'm willing to bet that you enjoy music when not drunk. Your post is nonsense.

 

[cartographer]

Damn that is awful. Fear of not being able to compete because of assholes like that guy? I can certainly understand why her parents might be worried, but if proper precautions were taken next time - maybe having her own room for example.

Uhmmmm

 

[RMI]

woah... so you can "black out", but still be moving about? That's terrifying.

yes most normal people will find this terrifying, i know that it has happened to me and thankfully I continued to behave in a way that was consistent with my normal behavior (at least according to my friends who were there) but it is really fucking scary to be sure. For some people this is a regular occurrence and it doesn't bother them; to me that's crazy.

 

[jem0208]

Even when you are blackout drunk, you're still not completely out of character. Last time I got blackout drunk was in college, and I managed to catch a bus and ride home by myself, despite not remembering a thing. And, get this - I didn't molest anybody either.

I’ve been drunk to the point of not remembering what happened the night before quite a few times. Worst I’ve ever done was vomit in the sink...

Being drunk is no excuse for molesting someone.

yes most normal people will find this terrifying, i know that it has happened to me and thankfully I continued to behave in a way that was consistent with my normal behavior (at least according to my friends who were there) but it is really fucking scary to be sure. For some people this is a regular occurrence and it doesn't bother them; to me that's crazy.

It’s not that bad, usually indicative of a really good night...

 

[BiggNife]

Actually it can. Please stop speaking for everyone else. My wife and I were out Saturday night, and when we got home, instead of watching TV or playing a game as I normally would (love throwing on an obscure game when loaded), I turned on satellite radio and listened to music with my wife for hours.... way out of character for me, and doing this is not something I would normally think to do when not under the influence.

Before you point it out I know that listening to music doesn't equal molestation, but my point is, alcohol does make your mind go places it wouldn't normally. What else could explain why someone leaving a bar would go get tacos at 2am? Gross.

Listening to 40s on 4 for 3 hours and molesting someone you know are such completely different things that I can't even begin to understand why you would make this comparison.

 

[Darryl]

She doesn't want to involve the police.

So if she doesn't, she shouldn't speak about it at all? That's effectively what you said.

edit: She filed a police report of course. I don't know where I'm remembering the part of her talking about charges and could easily be attributing to her something she did not say. So ignore that.

But the point stands: you don't need to silence sexual assault victims.

edit2 : This is her second post talking about coming forward.

I mean if she decides not to involve the police, she could still talk about it to friends and family. Not everyone has the luxury of getting a huge community of 100K+ people involved, so I don't think saying she should do what 99% of other sexual assault victims have to do is really that controversial. I just don't know if putting this stuff on blast on Twitter is the best response. I am very cautious about being absolute in regards to stuff like that.

 

[Krejlooc]

For what it's worth, here is her actual statement regarding taking things further

Again, I respect her decision but hate that she feels like she has to choose between her life goals and legally bringing a pervert to justice.

But knowing the realities of the internet, she's sadly right.

 

[CambriaRising]

Are there seriously people in here defending sexual assault? The fuck.

 

[Aces&Eights]

A person is fully responsible for their actions. If you choose to ingest a drug or alcohol that changes the way you would "normally" act then you still are 100% accountable. If you drink and drive and hit someone and kill them, you can cry all you want at your trial and the tears might be genuine but your ass should still go to prison.

This woman was assaulted TWICE. If he molested a girl, was told to stop, then proceeded to follow the victim and attack her AGAIN suggests not only sexual assault but premeditated sexual assault.

I hope this young lady can overcome this. I have an 18 year old daughter and if someone did something like this to her I would lose my goddamn mind.

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

For what it's worth, here is her actual statement regarding taking things further

That's unfortunate.

There needs to be consequences or it will happen again from this idiot or others.

 

[Bluenoser]

Listening to 40s on 4 for 3 hours and molesting someone you know are such completely different things that I can't even begin to understand why you would make this comparison.

As always, there's gonna be someone who doesn't read a post, and comments on it, so whatever. I've made my stance clear multiple times in this thread, but being in agreement with everyone isn't good enough I guess.

Uhmmmm

Oh come the fuck on.... I mean precautions that would be acceptable to her parents. Rooming with a bunch of people may not be safe, but having your own room would be.

 

[Omnistalgic]

Actually it can. Please stop speaking for everyone else. My wife and I were out Saturday night, and when we got home, instead of watching TV or playing a game as I normally would (love throwing on an obscure game when loaded), I turned on satellite radio and listened to music with my wife for hours.... way out of character for me, and doing this is not something I would normally think to do when not under the influence.

Before you point it out I know that listening to music doesn't equal molestation, but my point is, alcohol does make your mind go places it wouldn't normally. What else could explain why someone leaving a bar would go get tacos at 2am? Gross.

lol what? Alcohol is not a drug that makes you trip and "lose yourself" man. You can easily lose your inhibition, on an excessive amount all types of things can happen, but please, it's a liquid. You have control over how much you drink, and even at your drunkest you are still you.

General statement, how old are some of you making these ridiculous posts. Read more and educate yourself.

 

[Gestault]

I feel like this is a post you should've written out but then not actually gone through with submitting it. You're splitting hairs that nobody is arguing about.

I don't think that's necessarily fair. I made a post with a similar point earlier, because I was getting the impression people were saying that drinking can't change behaviors. I've never experienced any change in my motivations or a significant change in my self control while drinking, but I've known people who it did:

Absolutely. It's uncommon, but I've known a few people who do/did legitimately act differently under the influence of alcohol. It wasn't even a case of "too much to drink," almost any amount could cause it. They simply behaved differently. And yes, it was often for the worst. Those people also learned very quickly to never drink.

They (thankfully) recognized that outside of their own rationalizations, their situation is no excuse for the harm they inflict on others.

 

[cartographer]

I mean if she decides not to involve the police, she could still talk about it to friends and family. Not everyone has the luxury of getting a huge community of 100K+ people involved, so I don't think saying she should do what 99% of other sexual assault victims have to do is really that controversial. I just don't know if putting this stuff on blast on Twitter is the best response. I am very cautious about being absolute in regards to stuff like that.

Do you understand that sexual assault victims feel incredible pressure to stay silent? To not "rock the boat?" To not "make a big deal out of it?" There are dozens of other ways people phrase it, but the point is the same.

Speaking about it publicly (if they feel that is right for them) is incredibly important to fight this social pressure. Asking victims to stay quiet and not speak about it publicly if they want to is enforcing the culture of victim silencing that already exists.

 

[Icyflamez96]

Doing something while drunk shouldn't get you off the hook, but being drunk does take you out of your right mind and make you do things you wouldn't. This kind of thing is why I personally don't drink and don't ever plan to. I'd hate to do or say negative things that I wouldn't if I were sober.

 

[KoopaTheCasual]

Even when you are blackout drunk, you're still not completely out of character. Last time I got blackout drunk was in college, and I managed to catch a bus and ride home by myself, despite not remembering a thing. And, get this - I didn't molest anybody either.

Whaaaa? Dude, what's your secret?!

Spoiler

/s

OT: But yea, I don't understand why that one banned guy, and some other stragglers in this thread had such a hard time coming to terms with Hyuga being an awful person. I feel like these people didn't fully imagine the scenario and only glazed over the story. This girl is ASLEEP, with her significant other, minding her own damn business. And this guy forcibly gropes her, gets told repeatedly to stop, eventually has to be stopped by other people in the area, and then does it AGAIN.

Like, that's straight up predatory shit right there.