WEIDENFELLER - former cunt, now nice guy, leader, not being able to speak English and a top class keeper
PISCZCZEK - got a broken hip that needs surgery and still is one hell of a RB
SUBOTIC - got a tattoo with Klopp's face that says best friends forever, also a good CB
SANTANA - got a huge shiny head, long fucking legs and scores offside goals
SCHMELZER - got a broken nose, a shitty national team coach and doesn't care
BENDER - can't stop running and launches himself into other team players to get the ball while breaking every single bone in his body
GÜNDOGAN - former mispurchase, the second G is silent and he doesn't even lose possession when he slips
BLASZCZYKOWSKI - was already done at BVB, runs fast and is now awesome
GÖTZE - 20-year-old wonderboy that forgot how to finish
REUS - can shoot like a best, corners and free kicks like a god
LEWANDOWSKI - top class striker and money whore
SCHIEBER - cut his hair himself and scored two goals, so called shit player
SAHIN - fucked off to Real, sucks for any other club
HUMMELS - legend, future captain, signature long pass
KLOPP - got new glasses from Oakley and is pretty awesome