Hot Coldman
Banned
Hey Dan, it's time to update your Amazon product description.
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Giant Bomb #9 | More Dan Meets The Eye
- Thread starter Hot Coldman
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Hey Dan, it's time to update your Amazon product description.
The GOTY videos this year should be the GB Crew re-enacting Air Force Gator.
Are you implying that Air Force Gator is real and actually killed Osama in 2005? I interpreted the book as a work of fiction, which leaves him able to write whatever he wants without concern for historical ramifications... but to each their own, I guess.
After the break, we explore the economics of building the Death Star on "We're Taking This Too Seriously"!
TharpDaddy
Member
The quotes on the back cover of Air Force Gator are my favorite part.
"Is this a children's book?" - Ashley Nicosia, Dan Ryckert's ex-girlfriend
"This is just a massive waste of your time." - Joe Juba, Game Informer reviews editor
"Don't write this book." - Ben Hanson, Game Informer video producer
"Is this a children's book?" - Ashley Nicosia, Dan Ryckert's ex-girlfriend
"This is just a massive waste of your time." - Joe Juba, Game Informer reviews editor
"Don't write this book." - Ben Hanson, Game Informer video producer
EmCeeGramr
Member
air force gator 2 starts with a bunch of test subject alligators being turned into humanoid gators by the ooze a chemical called "GatorAid" and then they show their new intelligence by
-flexing and staring at their muscles
-killing a Cajun in the woods
-eating string cheese and Combos
-they learn how to use forks and knives (for cheese and Combos, presumably) and sit on chairs and sofas
-then then try to use the Internet but they have a hard time because their claws can't hold mice very well and they aren't fluent in English, which seems like a reasonable next step after "eating food" and "lying on chairs"
edit: apparently they all move to new orleans and seven years later they all have shitty jobs and then a guy with the most cartoonish stereotypical Louisana accent makes them into a terrorist group named "Sons of Gustav" where they're all named after US presidents because this is basically a Ninja Turtles x Metal Gear fanfiction I think
-flexing and staring at their muscles
-killing a Cajun in the woods
-eating string cheese and Combos
-they learn how to use forks and knives (for cheese and Combos, presumably) and sit on chairs and sofas
-then then try to use the Internet but they have a hard time because their claws can't hold mice very well and they aren't fluent in English, which seems like a reasonable next step after "eating food" and "lying on chairs"
edit: apparently they all move to new orleans and seven years later they all have shitty jobs and then a guy with the most cartoonish stereotypical Louisana accent makes them into a terrorist group named "Sons of Gustav" where they're all named after US presidents because this is basically a Ninja Turtles x Metal Gear fanfiction I think
TharpDaddy
Member
Someone should buy the rights to Air Force Gator and make a video game adaption with the gameplay of Metal Gear Solid.
nckillthegrimace
Member
So the character is actually named Air Force Gator.
That name came from him somehow thinking that someone said "Air Force Gator" when they said "Tony Hawk Pro Skater"
edit: If anyone wants to watch Brad play Destiny for six more hours (Will joins after about three hours, I hear), you can watch the archive of last night's fun here: http://www.twitch.tv/bradshoemaker/b/571297169
Fattony12000
Member
DanRyckert
A good strange little man
Air Force Gator is an alternate history series, although it uses real-life political figures. Gator's intro in Scales of Justice is him slamming Milwaukee's Best with Joe Biden at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial.
Hot Coldman
Banned
Fun fact: alligators have a permanently erect penis that it hides inside its body when it's not using it
also they're around 3 inches so yeah, lucky girls
also they're around 3 inches so yeah, lucky girls
dammit alex
EmCeeGramr
Member
now I am desperately curious if there is any kind of exposition about human-crocodilian relations and civil rights battles throughout history
DanRyckert
A good strange little man
There's actually a lot. Air Force Gator's grandpa (Grandpa Gator) was a legendary WWII pilot who broke the "gator barrier" that didn't allow alligators in the Air Force.
EmCeeGramr
Member
is this a Donkey Kong -> Cranky Kong situation where Grampa Gator was Air Force Gator during his youth and then changed his name when his grandson joined the Air Force? Was there an Air Force Gator Jr.?
edit: wait no, I guess Grampa Gator would have been Army Air Forces Gator
edit: wait no, I guess Grampa Gator would have been Army Air Forces Gator
Air Force Gator for Smash?
Watch the shorted everything
Hot Coldman
Banned
Was there a human vs alligator equivalent of The Great Ape War?
ShockingAlberto
Member
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
DanRyckert
A good strange little man
No, Grandpa Gator has always been named Grandpa Gator. Air Force Gator did have a father (Big Daddy Gator), but they didn't have a good relationship and he presumably died in Vietnam. This will be covered in Air Force Gator 3: Cold Bloodlines.
EmCeeGramr
Member
See, this is why we need Air Force Gator Wiki
DanRyckert
A good strange little man
Please make this happen, GAF.
Exclusive sneak peek of Air Force Gator 3 in the GBGAF thread!
Hot Coldman
Banned
so Air Force Gator's dad is the surprise villain of the third book then
Hey, I'm sure Air Force Gator has asked someone to find the computer room once in his life
Hey, I'm sure Air Force Gator has asked someone to find the computer room once in his life
EmCeeGramr
Member
Better lore than Destiny, TBH.
so it's like metal gear
DanRyckert
A good strange little man
I mean yeah.
EmCeeGramr
Member
That is what the reader will think, up until the point where Ron Paul pulls off his shirt and glove and reveals that he had Gustav's* arm transplanted onto him, where his soul lives on.
Hot Coldman
Banned
"crocodile" seems like it would be equal to a racial slur to AFG's ears
I'm going to start building a computer soon and have never done so before. What did he do that I should never do?
Sleeping Lesson
Member
Don't touch the pins (on the bottom of the CPU). Also don't press the processor down once it's in place, which they also did. Placement takes ZERO force.
OverBlood 3
Banned
Listening to the sound of an errant fart echo around a cave makes for better lore than Destiny.
HE'S TOUCHIN' THE LEADS!!!!!
DanRyckert
A good strange little man
Nah, it's a mysterious, hooded alligator named El Lagarto Magia that has sorcerer powers.
Zombie James
Banned
Never touch the bottom contact pads on the underside of the CPU (or the pins on an AMD CPU), line up the arrow so you get it in the first time, and don't push down on the CPU once it's in the socket.
DanRyckert
A good strange little man
There is a pretty big assortment of intelligent crocodiles that came into being after the events of Crocodile Rock. However, the events of that day led to humans distrusting smart reptiles.
TheBaronOfNA
Banned
By context and reactions here, I suppose this is a no-no when building a Gaming PC...
ab.aeterno
Member
Sounds like something you'd see in anime
Hot Coldman
Banned
The Magic Lizard sounds like the world's worst strip club
Freedom = $1.05
Banned
You see that gold square he pulled the CPU haphazardly from? it looks solid on that gif but it's actually like thousands of pins, and bending even just one of them could very well make that motherboard useless. Seeing Alex flippantly messing around with the CPU like that makes the hairs on my back stand. also, you dont want to touch the bottom of the CPU because you need that to have 0 issues making contact with those pins.
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