arab said:
i remember when i had trouble talking to girls. i always felt like they were some kind of untouchable being that deserved nothing less than the utmost delicate of words and respect. this prevented me from developing a real sense of communication with women and even caused personal stress because i never thought i would understand.
however, within the past couple years, i've been able to realize that women and men are no different in terms of talking to them. talking to a woman is really as easy and natural as you make talking to a man in that you can only BS for so long before someone calls you on your shit. rather than focus on the reaction of what you might say, put energy into believing everything that you say. don't spout shit you know nothing about, speak from experience and what truly interests or desires you. both men and women can detect your confidence in your diction and your tone. nervousness comes about from thinking too much about what you don't know and acting too little about what you do.
i mean, i'm not exactly rolling pussy joints but i've reached a point where my apathy toward women has gotten me more poonani than ever before. in the end, women are women and bitches are bitches. you can only fool yourself into thinking you want a bitch for so long before you realize that the real woman you want is not where you've been looking.
That pretty much describes me to a tee. I used to be so inept when it came to the opposite sex. It was so embarrassing. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. But I got smarter, grew some balls and accepted that failure and rejection were inevitable and used them as tools to learn. Through experience, as well as having a lot of helpful female friends, not only did I gain significant self confidence, but I also developed a greater understanding of girls in general.
Now, for me, talking to a girl is no sweat. In real life or online, I have no trouble initiating or maintaining a conversation. Getting her contact info (number/IM) comes perfectly natural. Hell, a lot of girls compliment me on how charming and funny I am, as well as my ability to persuade them (in playful ways) and make them feel comfortable.
It's funny that a lot of them immediately assume I'm a player, even though I'm not a big fan of that life style. Seriously, I don't think I'm a player by any stretch of the imagination. Basically, to me, players attract a low standard of women...gold diggers and bitches. Sure, they might be attractive, but most of them are dumb, shallow and some, just fucking crazy. I don't want to deal with that. But hey, if that doesn't phase you from wanting to swim in a sea of vagina, be all means, keep on doing your own thing. I'm in no position to judge how other guys live their lives. I've always preferred being intimate (ie. anything involving sex) with a girl that I have some kind of emotional bond with. I'm not into one night stands, flings, or casual sex. That's just me though.
Anyway, if there are two things that are universal to all girls, it's these two things:
- Confidence
- Fun
If you don't love yourself, trust yourself or feel good about your life, no girl will want to be with you. Period. How can she love you, trust you, or feel good about you, if you don't feel that way for yourself? Don't ever think a woman is going to be with you out of pity. No matter how nice and sweet you are, she's not going to want to stick around with someone who is dull and puts himself down all the time. What would be in it for her? What would benefit her and what would she get out of being with you? She would only be with you to make YOU feel good. That wouldn't be fair to her, so she'd bail out as early as possible. Remember, a lack of self esteem will present itself in your actions and speech. Girls will pick up on that sooner or later, and once they do, you can forget about that second date and guarantee that her panties will go right back the fuck up.
Now, they also want to be with a guy who likes to have fun. They want to be with someone who can make them laugh, smile and be around someone who just makes them feel good in general. You can be nurturing, sweet and caring, but if you're boring, being kind means jack shit. As crazy as it sounds, girls are with those "asshole" guys (you know, the whole nice guys finish last thing) because they are confident and fun to be with. To an extent, she ignores his negative qualities and focuses on the fact that he has the balls to talk to her, take her out and knows how to be happy and have fun. Being fun comes from being confident. Again, if you don't think a girl will talk to you, go out with you, or you're afraid she won't have fun with you, guess what? She won't. You'll have just made a self fulfilling prophecy. Don't ever sabotage yourself.
Don't eliminate yourself. Let her do that. Let her decide whether or not she wants to go out with you. It's okay to fail. No one is perfect. You've done alright, as long as you tried your best, and gave it your all, and you learned from your mistakes. Remember, be confident, love yourself, loosen up and learn how to have fun and don't fear rejection. Once you do that, dealing with girls will be a lot easier. You'll be on your way to having a girlfriend or getting laid, or whatever it is you want to do with a female.
At one point, I thought I was going to die a virgin and never have a girlfriend. But I took control of my life, started loving myself and over time, things got better. I was able to talk to girls, go out on dates, have girlfriends and eventually get pussy too. That happened because I made it happen. I made it happen because I told myself I could. I told myself I could because I told myself I had no other choice and wasn't going to settle being alone and depressed all the time. I wanted to be happy, so I took a hard look at myself and my life and did what I had to do to make things work. And guess what? They did.
So, if I could do it, so can you.
