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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need

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I don't know, I just think being yourself around a woman will lead to happiness if it's supposed to. I don't think being fake or doing anything you wouldn't normally (around good company of course) helps when you're looking for a good relationship. I might get h8 for this but all these hints and stuff are seemingly objective and it seems to me (strictly my opinion) that they allow for a different "you" to show up around a woman. Rather, being individually subjective towards a relationship seems like it's the right choice in my mind. You're not gonna find the right one being someone else. Again, just my opinion, thought I'd share and get some feedback. I might be a little too closed-minded about the whole "getting a girl" thing in the big picture. I can see how people just want girls to like them, but acting differently than you would (unless you're a nutjob) just doesn't appeal. It's just all about having confidence and being yourself, some girls will like it and someone will love it!
 
Door2Dawn said:
Text game? :lol

Never heard that one.

That's not the only one, there's tons of em. Your pipe game gotta be on point, your swag game gotta be bananas, your sneaker game gotta be off the chain. And after you take a chick back to the crib, you BETTER make sure your snack game is impeccable. I almost took an L last weekend because my snack game was lacking, but I pulled out a miracle.
 

SmokeMaxX

Member
1) How do people deal with introducing a new girl into a group of friends you're already really close with? I did that last night and even though I tried to talk to her alot, I'm so close to all my buddies that I noticed at some points she felt left out.

2) During pool, what do you do if you're beating her really bad? I tried to give her the game at the end but she totally called me out on it :lol. It didn't help that I had a lot of my friends talking to me during the game so I couldn't talk with her more...
 
SmokeMaxX said:
1) How do people deal with introducing a new girl into a group of friends you're already really close with? I did that last night and even though I tried to talk to her alot, I'm so close to all my buddies that I noticed at some points she felt left out.

2) During pool, what do you do if you're beating her really bad? I tried to give her the game at the end but she totally called me out on it :lol. It didn't help that I had a lot of my friends talking to me during the game so I couldn't talk with her more...

punisher_nomercy.jpg
 

SmokeMaxX

Member
bdizzle said:
punisher_nomercy.jpg
Haha thanks for the non-help. Yeah I probably should've went easy on her, but I was torn between looking impressing and trying to make things fun. Apparently I did neither. :lol
 

jon bones

hot hot hanuman-on-man action
bdizzle said:
That's not the only one, there's tons of em. Your pipe game gotta be on point, your swag game gotta be bananas, your sneaker game gotta be off the chain. And after you take a chick back to the crib, you BETTER make sure your snack game is impeccable. I almost took an L last weekend because my snack game was lacking, but I pulled out a miracle.

pshh shoe talk what grade you in

real talk though dunkaroos and condoms in the top drawer
 

jon bones

hot hot hanuman-on-man action
Enco said:
The Rules of Touching
  • Initial contact should last no more than 3-5 seconds
  • When you're starting out, you can't touch a woman in any sexual way but it's still important to present yourself as a sexual creature and to slowly increase physical intimacy. Make sure it's non-threatening and harmless. Graze her arm or give her a high five for example. Then increase physical touching to things like a hand on the small of her back. After continued talking/reciprocating you can graze the outside of her thigh.
  • Don't hold or touch her for too long. If you do so, you'll end up in creepy/pervert territory
  • No touching in inappropriate places (early on - this really should be obvious. If you're grabbing girls booties as you're introducing yourself, you've got bigger problems.)
  • After you're more comfortable with each other, you can move on to things such as kissing. Always, always, always go for the kiss on the first date. Not at the end but sometime during the middle once you've engaged physically.
  • Obviously don't take things too far too fast and if she doesn't want it or isn't ready, stop

How would you want it phrased? As I have it in the second pointer?

added some text to the earlier bullets, deleted "holding hands" and threw in a golden rule for a first date
 
jon bones said:
pshh shoe talk what grade you in

I fucks with them hood rats, they real easy to impress. You gotta have a couple jays in your closet, makes them all moist in their nether regions

real talk though dunkaroos and condoms in the top drawer

tumblr_kp0es00sMm1qzvjtno1_500.jpg


Dunkaroos? LOL you fuckin chicks in kindergarten man?
 

ggnoobIGN

Banned
-PXG- said:
nvm. read it wrong.

I read it as, "If panties drop by date #4, bail." I was about to say, what the hell is wrong with you man? What would you say if it happened on the first date? Run home screaming? :lol
I wouldn't run home screaming, but it would be a turn off for me in terms I can't take this girl home to my mom sort of way. You don't want her to be your girlfriend.


But you know she'll always a good fuck so it's a big win either way.
 
EzLink said:
Fellow metal brethren!

Awesome that a cool girl actually initiated contact with you. I think maybe I will put one up now, because why not? If I don't care that much anyway then there won't be a whole lot of pressure on building a good profile (which is my main obstacle... I hate taking the time to write about myself in a clever and interesting way. I'm never happy with what I end up with and it makes me frustrated). I can always hone it and refine it as time goes on

Anyway, best of luck to you and the girl you are now seeing. Hope it continues to go well!

Thanks! She's actually coming over this weekend to watch some movies. So hopefully things work out. Should be good times. ;)
 
A new girl at work is always drinking from my water bottle and other beverages, she doesnt do this with anyone else. Thoughts guys? I think i am in with a chance.
 
Man, you guys are going overboard with all these rules.

Way I see it there are general principles to get your life on track: working out, eating healthy, perusing hobbies, leaving your hose every once in a while, ect...

These "when you need to kiss a girl" and what's right and wrong with how you interact with women is just going to put them even more in their head. The last thing you should be doing is wondering whether you should win the pool game or calculating how far into the date you need to kiss her, you just need to feel the moment and go with what you think works. Honestly I think the best thing is to just be yourself, and not in that hokey "everyone's perfect in their own way" kinda way, but in the sense that you'll act far more naturally and genuine when you're being who you really are and not what some players on the internet tell you to be (no offense playas, you guys are great, but still).
 
Okay Gaf, your immediate attention is required. How do I approach this cute girl that's working out at the gym that I think may be checking me out?

Edit: Too late, she left. Oh well.
 
Mr.City said:
Hey, asshole, Dungaroos are still the shit.

Do you make the missile sound as you splash em in the frosting too?

Door2Dawn said:
Anyone who talks shit about dunkaroos has to deal with me.

you wanna take this outside buddy?

grap3fruitman said:
Okay Gaf, your immediate attention is required. How do I approach this cute girl that's working out at the gym that I think may be checking me out?

Edit: Too late, she left. Oh well.

Next time, try "hi"

It's never as hard as it seems breh

Fix The Scientist said:
A new girl at work is always drinking from my water bottle and other beverages, she doesnt do this with anyone else. Thoughts guys? I think i am in with a chance.

uhhh, just hope she doesn't have mouth AIDS or something.
 

RobertM

Member
Need advice. I recently starting chatting with a girl from dating site. After a bit of back and forth I asked her if she was free on Friday, she said she's busy and just looking at what's out there. The thing is, she gave me her facebook email and added me, so what is the next course of action? I want my face to heal a bit before I do anything though, as far as going on a date goes.
 
SmokeMaxX said:
2) During pool, what do you do if you're beating her really bad? I tried to give her the game at the end but she totally called me out on it :lol. It didn't help that I had a lot of my friends talking to me during the game so I couldn't talk with her more...
You jokingly point out how far behind she is and how terrible she is at pool. Jokingly JOKINGLY JOKINGLY.

Then you say, "Here, I'll teach you how to line up your shot."

You tell her to line it up herself, then you lean over diagonally next to/behind her, put your hand over hers (the one on the table) and your other hand on her arm (to guide it). Keep your eye on the balls/table to make it not 100% apparent that you're doing all this just to touch her. But maybe smile a little.

As you're doing this, you're telling her what you're doing. "See, you need to hold the cue with your left hand like this. And your elbow needs to be higher over here."

At this point, you're essentially in total control of her body and she loves it.

Pool rocks.
 
Girl who I'm kinda into but is out of the country until January told me I look like Gil Scott-Heron. I'm not black.

Uh yeah that's all I got.
 

-PXG-

Member
Tkawsome said:
Man, you guys are going overboard with all these rules.

Way I see it there are general principles to get your life on track: working out, eating healthy, perusing hobbies, leaving your hose every once in a while, ect...

These "when you need to kiss a girl" and what's right and wrong with how you interact with women is just going to put them even more in their head. The last thing you should be doing is wondering whether you should win the pool game or calculating how far into the date you need to kiss her, you just need to feel the moment and go with what you think works. Honestly I think the best thing is to just be yourself, and not in that hokey "everyone's perfect in their own way" kinda way, but in the sense that you'll act far more naturally and genuine when you're being who you really are and not what some players on the internet tell you to be (no offense playas, you guys are great, but still).

They're not all "rules", they're mere suggestions. However, there are some things you should do and things you shouldn't. You don't want to be rude and call a girl names. That's obvious, and pretty much goes without saying. But you'd be surprised that there are some guys out there who don't even know that. The first kiss thing, in my opinion, is debatable. You don't have to follow every single thing we say to the tee. Every girl is different. Every guy is different. Go with the flow and play it by ear.

With that said, I'd like to ask that you guys make your advice reasonable and as applicable to as many types of people as possible. Remember, everyone has different expectations, different levels of experience and confidence, as well as going after different kinds of girl. Sure some things are universal, but some aren't. For instance, you can't expect every guy to be willing or capable of getting a kiss on the first date. For some, it's a piece of cake, for others not, and some, don't even care. There should be some sense of respect for the person seeking advice and having a general understanding as to what he is capable of.

Anyway, so far, the contributions have been excellent and nothing short of fantastic. Just make sure it stays that way. Thanks.
 
-PXG- said:
Elaborate. Why do you hate talking on the phone so much?
No idea. Awkward pauses? Less control over my voice and diction?

Re: being yourself: yes, be yourself, but a more confident you. There are certain things that work and certain things that don't and that's what this thread is for.
 

-PXG-

Member
doogles said:
No idea. Awkward pauses? Less control over my voice and diction?

Re: being yourself: yes, be yourself, but a more confident you. There are certain things that work and certain things that don't and that's what this thread is for.

Well you're hurting yourself by putting off the inevitable. If you can't talk over the phone, without seeing her face, how do you expect to be able to hold it together in person? You're just gonna have to get over your anxiety, and talk. You're not going to wake up one day or have some grand epiphany and be a master phone talker over night. The more you do it, the better you'll get at it. You'll learn from your mistakes and you will find more things to talk about and have fewer awkward pauses over time.
 
Mike Works said:
You jokingly point out how far behind she is and how terrible she is at pool. Jokingly JOKINGLY JOKINGLY.

Then you say, "Here, I'll teach you how to line up your shot."

You tell her to line it up herself, then you lean over diagonally next to/behind her, put your hand over hers (the one on the table) and your other hand on her arm (to guide it). Keep your eye on the balls/table to make it not 100% apparent that you're doing all this just to touch her. But maybe smile a little.

As you're doing this, you're telling her what you're doing. "See, you need to hold the cue with your left hand like this. And your elbow needs to be higher over here."

At this point, you're essentially in total control of her body and she loves it.

Pool rocks.

And if you get a stiffy, make sure you rub it against her and then wink when she looks at you.
 

-PXG-

Member
jon bones said:
pshh shoe talk what grade you in

real talk though dunkaroos and condoms in the top drawer

Oh man, dunka-fucking-roos. Pound it. It's been too long since I had some.
 
-PXG- said:
With that said, I'd like to ask that you guys make your advice reasonable and as applicable to as many types of people as possible. Remember, everyone has different expectations, different levels of experience and confidence, as well as going after different kinds of girl. Sure some things are universal, but some aren't. For instance, you can't expect every guy to be willing or capable of getting a kiss on the first date. For some, it's a piece of cake, for others not, and some, don't even care. There should be some sense of respect for the person seeking advice and having a general understanding as to what he is capable of.

These are great points. The thing I would hate to see is a bunch of derisive "read the OP" replies. The "rules" listed there ARE mostly great and are mostly sound common-sense rules of thumb that guys need to keep in mind when approaching and just a general "meeting girls" mindset, but after getting to know someone reasonably well, a big chunk of those rules becomes a lot more nebulous and fluid. And it is very easy for people who naturally overthink things to turn these nuggets of wisdom into something that brings out even more self-limiting behaviors and second guessing. Always keep that stuff in the back of your mind to keep yourself in check, but don't live by them rigidly and think that they apply to every relationship with every girl.
 

grumble

Member
I like the OP. Only one thing is missing:

Step 1: get your life sorted out before you start working hard on girls. If you are happy with who you are and where you're going, then getting and keeping girls is 1000x easier.
 

Willectro

Banned
grap3fruitman said:
"Hi" and I walk away or what? "Hi" isn't as simple as you put it either.

Normally I rip on Bdizzle's advice, but goddamn dude. Believe it or not you aren't making first contact with an alien species. Just talk to her. We can't write a script for you.
 

-PXG-

Member
grumble said:
I like the OP. Only one thing is missing:

Step 1: get your life sorted out before you start working hard on girls. If you are happy with who you are and where you're going, then getting and keeping girls is 1000x easier.

I could have sworn that was touched on in the OP somewhere. I remember reading it earlier...
 

Aurora

Member
ggnoobIGN said:
I wouldn't run home screaming, but it would be a turn off for me in terms I can't take this girl home to my mom sort of way. You don't want her to be your girlfriend.
I'm the complete opposite. Sexual chemistry and compatibility are crucial for my relationship to work. If I haven't had sex with a girl after 4/5 dates I'm gone.
 

grumble

Member
-PXG- said:
I could have sworn that was touched on in the OP somewhere. I remember reading it earlier...

I meant working on deep aspects of yourself. The OP was about prep work to look better and such; I meant as in working towards achieving your personal non-girl-related goals in life.
 
-PXG- said:
Well you're hurting yourself by putting off the inevitable. If you can't talk over the phone, without seeing her face, how do you expect to be able to hold it together in person? You're just gonna have to get over your anxiety, and talk. You're not going to wake up one day or have some grand epiphany and be a master phone talker over night. The more you do it, the better you'll get at it. You'll learn from your mistakes and you will find more things to talk about and have fewer awkward pauses over time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty damn good conversationalist in person. Just not over the phone.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
SmokeMaxX said:
Should I have a box of magnum XL condoms sticking out of my pocket? That seems like a real winner to me.
I'm going to go out to the bars with a box of Magnum XLs sticking out of one coat pocket an a box of Dunkaroos sticking out of the other. Apparently that's the key to success with women.


Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty damn good conversationalist in person. Just not over the phone.
I am not a good conversationalist in person. Hence [insert every girl-age post I made between 2004-2008]. But despite having a deathly fear of talking to strangers on the phone I got a job at a call center two years ago and it drastically did away with my phone anxieties. It really does just take exposure and practice.
 

Magik

Member
Bloody hell! This thread moves to damn fast. :lol

Quick tip, when you come into a bar/restaurant or whatever, make sure you come in with a smile on your face.

What's the natural reaction for most people when a door opens? They look who is coming in.

If you coming looking like you're about to kill somebody or sad as fuck, people will avoid you like the plague. Nobody wants to be around that. Now if you come in feeling good about yourself with a nice smile, people are more likely to be receptive towards you especially when it comes to women.
 
Enco said:
There's already some stuff about breaking up.

What do you think should be added to make it better?


Well I think there could be some tips in there such as what to say, how to do it, how not to do it. We need to have some discussion about ending a relationship with dignity, but also with compassion and do it without being cruel.

I also think there should be a section for STD safety and some tips on getting tested.
 
I just figured out the best place to meet women at, and it's ripe for the picking for you nerds in here.....you ready??????/ You sure????????????

THE FUCKING APPLE STORE

I just went there to get my laptop looked at and there were all types of bitches in there. All shapes, sizes, flavors, everything. You don't have to worry about bothering anybody or anybody being in a rush because just like most people who go in the Apple store, they're usually just browsing or waiting on someone to get their POS Apple product fixed. You can strike up a conversation about iPods, iPhones, laptops, desktops, music, movies, anything Apple or iTunes related.

I was talking with this cute little thang (sucked cause she's too damn young) about how much Apple sucks, but I feel awkward fucking with a chick that's fresh outta her teens for some reason. And while I was talking to her, this other chick came up who was cute too, but she look like she came in on the bus and she might rob me or some shit, so I left her ass alone. I ain't trying to wake up butt naked with my PS3 missing.

Then while I was leaving I seen this other chick come in and OMG her ASS. That shit was fucking INCREDIBLE! She had on these blue tights and shit and these boots, made me wanna pull my dick out and just start beating off in front of her lol. I was just about to walk up to her and this big cock diesel motherfucka walked up (I guess it was his gf or something) ;_;

Anyway gaf, the Apple store is where it's it. Go there, get your nerd on, and leave with numbers.
 
grap3fruitman said:
"Hi" and I walk away or what? "Hi" isn't as simple as you put it either.

Walk up, say "Hi I'm grap3fruitman, I haven't seen you around here......." or whatever bullshit pops into your head. Then talk to her like a normal person while working out.

And yes, hi is as simple is that. 2 words, 1 syllable, generally used for introduction. Would have worked perfectly in your situation.
 
will52 said:
Normally I rip on Bdizzle's advice, but goddamn dude. Believe it or not you aren't making first contact with an alien species. Just talk to her. We can't write a script for you.

you know you love my style, you even sent me a friend request on wii!
 
Another cute girl came into the gym later, who I was also afraid to approach. This sucks. >=(

will52 said:
Believe it or not you aren't making first contact with an alien species.
Yes, I am. This may not be foreign to you, but it certainly is to me.

will52 said:
Just talk to her. We can't write a script for you.
I. Don't. Know. What. To. Say.

I don't know how to make that clearer.

I've never had a positive response when approaching women, so I'm asking for some honest, down-to-earth advice.

bdizzle said:
Walk up, say "Hi I'm grap3fruitman, I haven't seen you around here......." or whatever bullshit pops into your head. Then talk to her like a normal person while working out.
I'm not a normal person. I'm a complete social fucktard and don't talk to people. I wouldn't know what to talk about because "bullshit" doesn't pop into my head. I usually freeze up and then there's awkward silence.
 
bdizzle said:
I just figured out the best place to meet women at, and it's ripe for the picking for you nerds in here.....you ready??????/ You sure????????????

THE FUCKING APPLE STORE

I just went there to get my laptop looked at and there were all types of bitches in there. All shapes, sizes, flavors, everything. You don't have to worry about bothering anybody or anybody being in a rush because just like most people who go in the Apple store, they're usually just browsing or waiting on someone to get their POS Apple product fixed. You can strike up a conversation about iPods, iPhones, laptops, desktops, music, movies, anything Apple or iTunes related.

I was talking with this cute little thang (sucked cause she's too damn young) about how much Apple sucks, but I feel awkward fucking with a chick that's fresh outta her teens for some reason. And while I was talking to her, this other chick came up who was cute too, but she look like she came in on the bus and she might rob me or some shit, so I left her ass alone. I ain't trying to wake up butt naked with my PS3 missing.

Then while I was leaving I seen this other chick come in and OMG her ASS. That shit was fucking INCREDIBLE! She had on these blue tights and shit and these boots, made me wanna pull my dick out and just start beating off in front of her lol. I was just about to walk up to her and this big cock diesel motherfucka walked up (I guess it was his gf or something) ;_;

Anyway gaf, the Apple store is where it's it. Go there, get your nerd on, and leave with numbers.
You're weird.
 
grap3fruitman said:
Another cute girl came into the gym later, who I was also afraid to approach. This sucks. >=(


Yes, I am. This may not be foreign to you, but it certainly is to me.


I. Don't. Know. What. To. Say.

I don't know how to make that clearer.

I've never had a positive response when approaching women, so I'm asking for some honest, down-to-earth advice.
I know how you feel. Just be natural about it and see what happens. The best way to learn how to talk to people is to talk to people--that includes EVERYONE.
 

matt360

Member
Am I in the wrong here? I think I may have fucked up our sex life.

My girlfriend and I had a pretty awesome sex life. We were both pretty much on the same page, but there were about four times in the span of a month where in the morning she'd tell me that she wanted to have sex later that evening, but when evening rolled around she changed her mind for whatever reason. I told her that it's not cool to say that we're gonna have sex and then not deliver. Maybe girls can change their minds like that, but guys for the most part will be looking forward to it all freaking day.

So she says ok, and that she'll just try to refrain from getting my hopes up and that when we have sex it'll be natural and spontaneous. Cool, I thought.

Fast forward a month and things are pretty bad. Emotionally, things are great. She's awesome, supportive, everything I could want. But sexually, she's left the building. She'll hug and snuggle all night, but when I start putting the moves on she withdraws. I finally asked her what's up last night and she said that ever since the previous month when I asked her not to get my hopes up by promising sex and then not delivering she had been making conscious efforts to suppress her sexual feelings in order to not get my hopes up. So it seems that I may have inadvertantly given her a borderline complex and she's worried sick that I'll leave her if she can't turn herself around. This is not a question of love or attraction either, as I am 100% positive we have that in spades.

Should I have just been more patient from the beginning? Where should we go from here?
 
I don't know about always trying to kiss on the first date. If the whole date is dinner, for example, there probably won't be an opportunity in the middle of the date - and there also hasn't been a chance to get more physically intimate. And if you try to barge in for a kiss when its not appropriate, or even if she's not ready for it, it can be disastrous.

In fact, I would recommend not even worrying about the kiss at all on the first date. If it is appropriate to go for it, it'll be fairly obvious, and if it's not obvious to you, don't do it.
 
matt360 said:
Am I in the wrong here? I think I may have fucked up our sex life.

My girlfriend and I had a pretty awesome sex life. We were both pretty much on the same page, but there were about four times in the span of a month where in the morning she'd tell me that she wanted to have sex later that evening, but when evening rolled around she changed her mind for whatever reason. I told her that it's not cool to say that we're gonna have sex and then not deliver. Maybe girls can change their minds like that, but guys for the most part will be looking forward to it all freaking day.

So she says ok, and that she'll just try to refrain from getting my hopes up and that when we have sex it'll be natural and spontaneous. Cool, I thought.

Fast forward a month and things are pretty bad. Emotionally, things are great. She's awesome, supportive, everything I could want. But sexually, she's left the building. She'll hug and snuggle all night, but when I start putting the moves on she withdraws. I finally asked her what's up last night and she said that ever since the previous month when I asked her not to get my hopes up by promising sex and then not delivering she had been making conscious efforts to suppress her sexual feelings in order to not get my hopes up. So it seems that I may have inadvertantly given her a borderline complex and she's worried sick that I'll leave her if she can't turn herself around. This is not a question of love or attraction either, as I am 100% positive we have that in spades.

Should I have just been more patient from the beginning? Where should we go from here?
Women are incredibly insecure when it comes to sex. The minute you give them shit about it, they turn off. DO NOT MENTION IT AGAIN. Pretend it isn't bothering you, don't initiate, and just relax. If you keep talking about it and pressuring her, she's not going to fuck you. Period, end of story. Wait a while and see what she does. Women equate sex with emotion. If you are stressing her out and pressuring her, she will just shut down. Put some effort in to making her feel pretty and wanted. Buy her flowers and make her dinner. Reset the switch that you turned off. If you leave her alone about it, she will come around again.
 
grap3fruitman said:
I'm not a normal person. I'm a complete social fucktard and don't talk to people. I wouldn't know what to talk about because "bullshit" doesn't pop into my head. I usually freeze up and then there's awkward silence.

Well then work on not being a social fucktard. Tomorrow, speak to everyone you see and meet. Even if it's just "Hi, how you doing." Get used to interacting with people on a regular basis. Then work up to having longer conversations and perfecting the art of small talk.

You have to ask yourself some very basic questions. Why are you scared to talk to a girl? Why do you have a fear of rejection? Do you think you're worth being with? Do you think decent women are out of your league? Do you think other women are better than you? Wht at are your insecurities and why do you have them?

You have to get honest with yourself to better yourself. Time to face your demons.

doogles said:
You're weird.

You have a tophat and bowtie on, but I'm the weird one?
 
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