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[-PXG-]

Again, how confident would you be with women having never been on a date or anything? It seems like my behavior is completely normal considering my situation.

Yeah you're right. So why don't you change that and ask a girl out. You know, since you don't lack confidence....

 

[grap3fruitman]

Yeah you're right. So why don't you change that and ask a girl out. You know, since you don't lack confidence....

Could you please re-read the item you're quoting?

This:

Again, how confident would you be with women having never been on a date or anything? It seems like my behavior is completely normal considering my situation.

I don't have confidence issues, I'm just not confident because I lack any experience. There's a difference but you're not understanding that.

But to answer your question: I asked someone out two weeks ago, after freaking out while talking to her the week prior. And I've asked out girls before, I've just always been shot down.

 

[Mr.City]

Again, how confident would you be with women having never been on a date or anything? It seems like my behavior is completely normal considering my situation.

No, it's not. It's bitchy and whiny. Listen, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20. I was no ladies' man, however I learned and grew. I've dated and slept a good number of women this year and find it easier as I go along. Getting women is like a batting average; you're gonna miss a lot, but occasionally, there is going to be a grand slam, some triples, and lots of trips to first base.

 

[grap3fruitman]

No, it's not. It's bitchy and whiny.

You're Mr. Perfectly Suave every time you do something new? The first time you asked a girl you you weren't nervous? The first time you went on a date you weren't nervous? When you lost your virginity you weren't nervous? When you drove your first car you weren't nervous? I can keep going. You're confusing inexperience for something else.

 

[Mike Works]

Of course he was nervous his first time (he did any of those things); we all were. It's okay to be nervous when you're doing something for the very first time. Just don't let it be an excuse to not to something.

 

[HighAmperage]

You're Mr. Perfectly Suave every time you do something new? The first time you asked a girl you you weren't nervous? The first time you went on a date you weren't nervous? When you lost your virginity you weren't nervous? When you drove your first car you weren't nervous? I can keep going. You're confusing inexperience for something else.

Dude you have to fight through this stuff if you truly want to meet someone. It's perfectly natural to be nervous on your first date or your 1000th, but you have to turn inexperience into experience at some point. And I say this as a 40 year old who has had very very little romance in his life, but who has developed enough self-awareness to at least know my weaknesses and work to improve them. You have to get out of your comfort zone and fucking do something about it. Sure it can be scary as hell, but if you are really really unhappy alone, you just have to fight through it.

And don't be scared off by all of this "you gotta be alpha, you gotta be confident at all times" stuff. Sure, it's important to portray this attitude as much as possible, but very very few guys can pull this off naturally, and if you work on other aspects of your personality and can be charming, plenty of girls find a little nervousness cute and endearing. There's a middle ground between George McFly and The Most Interesting Man In The World, and you need to find it in yourself if you ever want to find someone.

I was talking to a chick today (my work epic one-itis chick, sigh), and the subject of cockiness came up, and she said how it's her biggest turnoff. I called her out and said something like "bullshit, you say that, but it seems like it works pretty well on a lot of women"...and she was adamant, saying it's the one thing that turns her off most. So it's important to be confident in who you are, but don't mistake that for being full of yourself. You just need to LIKE yourself, no matter how much of a shithead you think you are. I guarantee you there are positive qualities within yourself....focus on finding them and developing them, and you're more than halfway to being able to attract someone.

 

[grap3fruitman]

Dude you have to fight through this stuff if you truly want to meet someone.

Which is why I come in here asking for help. The other day there was a cute girl at the gym, not knowing how to approach her properly (since none of my previous attempts to talk to women have worked), I asked Gaf. Instead of being given any advice, I was ridiculed.

 

[Mr.City]

You're Mr. Perfectly Suave every time you do something new? The first time you asked a girl you you weren't nervous? The first time you went on a date you weren't nervous? When you lost your virginity you weren't nervous? When you drove your first car you weren't nervous? I can keep going. You're confusing inexperience for something else.

No, that's what mistakes are for. Mistakes are not dark, shameful secrets that you dwell on; they're learning experiences. I probably was nervous, but like most things, that goes away with time and practice. I mean, really, it's woman, not a lion. She won't mace or claw you to death. At worst, perhaps a light macing.

 

[Mr.City]

Which is why I come in here asking for help. The other day there was a cute girl at the gym, not knowing how to approach her properly (since none of my previous attempts to talk to women have worked), I asked Gaf. Instead of being given any advice I was ridiculed.

Instead of looking at women as a math equation to figure out, look at it as opportunity to have fun. What is the worst she can do? Challenge her to a push contest where the loser has to buy the win dinner. She don't like it? Fuck it, she probably wasn't fun in the first place.

 

[HighAmperage]

Which is why I come in here asking for help. The other day there was a cute girl at the gym, not knowing how to approach her properly (since none of my previous attempts to talk to women have worked), I asked Gaf. Instead of being given any advice I was ridiculed.

Well I hope you didn't see my post as ridicule, it certainly wasn't meant to be that. Believe me I'm right there with you most of the time.

But honestly, the gym probably isn't the greatest place to approach a girl. They think they're sweaty and gross and are probably on guard more in that kind of situation. But the first thing you have to do is at least make eye contact, smile and try to come up with some sort of witty comment or quip. What was she doing when you saw her? I mean walking up to her while she's on an elliptical machine with earbuds in is a less than ideal situation.

 

[TurboLibre]

Again, how confident would you be with women having never been on a date or anything? It seems like my behavior is completely normal considering my situation.

Confidence isn't knowing you're going to succeed, it's no longer fearing failure. It's entirely possible to be confidence in a situation like this, especially if you go in knowing that it's just a learning experience and the outcome isn't what's important.

 

[Eggo]

Which is why I come in here asking for help. The other day there was a cute girl at the gym, not knowing how to approach her properly (since none of my previous attempts to talk to women have worked), I asked Gaf. Instead of being given any advice I was ridiculed.

If you are inexperienced, asking out a bartender or girl at a gym is not a good idea. These girls get hit on all the time and are very likely to disqualify you right away. It can be done, but you have a higher chance of success talking to a girl at a bus stop, bookstore, or grocery store than in a gym. As someone else said, girls are sweating and not at their best in a gym, so it is a bad place to attempt an approach.

 

[EraldoCoil]

So the chick I was supposed to go out with tonight has ignored all my calls and texts all day. Am mad.....fucking bitch

 

[Door2Dawn]

Confidence isn't knowing you're going to succeed, it's no longer fearing failure.

There isn't a single person on this earth that doesn't fear failure, as it is natural to feel that way. It's whether you allow that fear to control your life is what counts.

edit: or maybe thats what you're trying to say?

 

[Mr.City]

So the chick I was supposed to go out with tonight has ignored all my calls and texts all day. Am mad.....fucking bitch

How many times did you text/call?

 

[EraldoCoil]

How many times did you text/call?

3 txts 2 calls...

I knew she was gonna pull this on me....

 

[TurboLibre]

There isn't a single person on this earth that doesn't fear failure, as it is natural to feel that way. It's whether you allow that fear to control your life is what counts.

edit: or maybe thats what you're trying to say?

Yep.

 

[Mr.City]

3 txts 2 calls...

I knew she was gonna pull this on me....

That's way too many. I would call/text them maybe once or even none at all the day of the date. A good sign that a woman is interested is when she starts texting/calling you about if the date is still on.

For future reference, one text/call will do it. Most women, hell, most people, have their phones with them most of the time. She can probably see your texts and calls. Move on.

 

[EraldoCoil]

That's way too many. I would call/text them maybe once or even none at all the day of the date. A good sign that a woman is interested is when she starts texting/calling you about if the date is still on.

For future reference, one text/call will do it. Most women, hell, most people, have their phones with them most of the time. She can probably see your texts and calls. Move on.

Yeah usually i'll just go with that route, but the thing was she was the one that wanted to go out tonight. She kept asking if I was free on Friday and texting me all week about it. Then today comes and I receive a whole lotta nothing.

 

[Mr.City]

Yeah usually i'll just go with that route, but the thing was she was the one that wanted to go out tonight. She kept asking if I was free on Friday and texting me all week about it. Then today comes and I receive a whole lotta nothing.

That happens with women. Become accustomed to it.

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." -Neil McCauley (Heat)

 

[Mike Works]

Dude you have to fight through this stuff if you truly want to meet someone. It's perfectly natural to be nervous on your first date or your 1000th, but you have to turn inexperience into experience at some point. And I say this as a 40 year old who has had very very little romance in his life, but who has developed enough self-awareness to at least know my weaknesses and work to improve them. You have to get out of your comfort zone and fucking do something about it. Sure it can be scary as hell, but if you are really really unhappy alone, you just have to fight through it.

And don't be scared off by all of this "you gotta be alpha, you gotta be confident at all times" stuff. Sure, it's important to portray this attitude as much as possible, but very very few guys can pull this off naturally, and if you work on other aspects of your personality and can be charming, plenty of girls find a little nervousness cute and endearing. There's a middle ground between George McFly and The Most Interesting Man In The World, and you need to find it in yourself if you ever want to find someone.

I was talking to a chick today (my work epic one-itis chick, sigh), and the subject of cockiness came up, and she said how it's her biggest turnoff. I called her out and said something like "bullshit, you say that, but it seems like it works pretty well on a lot of women"...and she was adamant, saying it's the one thing that turns her off most. So it's important to be confident in who you are, but don't mistake that for being full of yourself. You just need to LIKE yourself, no matter how much of a shithead you think you are. I guarantee you there are positive qualities within yourself....focus on finding them and developing them, and you're more than halfway to being able to attract someone.

You kind of brought this on yourself with your avatar, but from now on, I'm reading all of your posts in the voice of Stevie.

 

[Boogie]

So the chick I was supposed to go out with tonight has ignored all my calls and texts all day. Am mad.....fucking bitch

something something....throwing your self-respect comment back to you...something

 

[EraldoCoil]

something something....throwing your self-respect comment back to you...something

I'll earn it one day...

 

[ThLunarian]

Had my second date with the opera singer tonight. We went out for drinks at a non-crowded bar near her house.

It started out a little rocky, with a few awkward silences (more than the first date had, even), but the conversation took a major upswing toward the end. I still wasn't sure if there was enough chemistry for her to still be interested -- the goodbye was awkward again, and there wasn't really an opening to go for a kiss.

Then on the way home, she texted me and said that the drink was just what she needed after her long day, and she thanked me again. This was very surprising to me, and kind of made my night

So next week will definitely be an activity date where I have an opportunity to cross the touch-barrier. I have a few ideas in mind, but does anyone else have a good suggestion for such a date?

 

[Russell]

i been tryin to fuck russell

You prefer guys. No surprise there.

 

[norinrad]

You prefer guys. No surprise there.

Russell, you back?

 

[Russell]

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

I hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you pay low-class prostitutes to be with you? The reason I ask, is that I'm not into that type of shtick. I prefer a woman to want to be with me because she wants to be with me.

 

[Munin]

Please don't ban him...he's far too entertaining.

 

[RobertM]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you pay low-class prostitutes to be with you? The reason I ask, is that I'm not into that type of shtick. I prefer a woman to want to be with me because she wants to be with me.

I see that's working out really well for you Shawn.

 

[The Shadow]

Books, groups? Those seem like they would make me much more depressed.

I don't have confidence issues. I'm just afraid of women because I have zero experience with them and I'm nothing special.

I'm not going to think I'm the greatest person in the world and I can do no wrong. I don't want to be that douchebag. I'm just being honest is all, despite the fact that it sounds like I'm just whining.

Again, how confident would you be with women having never been on a date or anything? It seems like my behavior is completely normal considering my situation.

-Books and self-help groups are kind of a short-cut. You say that you didn't get that normal experience when you're 13, right? Well, it's not like you can rewind time and go back. You can't relive the past in order to get that experience so where does that leave you? It may feel like a blow to your pride to grab a self-help book at the store but get over it. They help and they wouldn't sell them at bookstores if they didn't sell. If it helps, I used to buy them when I was your age (maybe a little younger). It's really not that big of a deal. I can't recommend a specific one but I'd get a confidence building book that has exercises. They will sound and feel really, really, really stupid to do but do them anyway. Like I said, they help.

-When you say you're not going to think you're the greatest person in the world, that's fine. No one is. You can't go around living like you're no one special though, because that's no different than thinking you're worse than everyone. If you don't feel like you're special, you're not. If you feel like you're the same as everyone else, you are. The key here is that you need to pull out the things that do in fact make you special and unique and put those in the front. If you believe you would never be selected out of a crowd of me-toos, you won't. If you believe you're the best ever, every single time, you're a douche, granted. Here's the key though, if you start believing, no, knowing there is something unique and worthwhile about yourself, you're going to start to look more noticeable to other people. Maybe not everyone, but those people that notice the uniqueness, it'll be more apparent. And lets face it, looking different and worthwhile to some people is far better than looking like just another me-too to everyone.

 

[TurboLibre]

I see that's working out really well for you Shawn.

Oh God. Has Shawn been known to make griefing accounts on Gaf?

 

[Veelk]

This paragraph is really troubling to read and it sounds like you're not ready for the responsibility of dating/a relationship. A committed relationship with another human being is not something you should discard the moment it becomes inconvenient to you. Here's a question for you... Do you have any pets?

One of the things bdizzle touched upon that he is 100% right about is your goal when first interacting with a stranger is to have fun. That should be the only thing you're concerned about. If you come off as too serious, too analytical, too judgmental, you will leave a bad first impression. If you do that, people will not want to get to know you better and have a deeper conversation. There is an art to small talk and it is an essential social skill. If you're not good at it, you need to practice and converse more with strangers in your everyday life.

Also, I second Jon Bone's comment that drinking is socially very important. A social, friendly person who gets along well with everyone and is a master conversationalist can overcome the handicap of not drinking in a bar. If you are not that outgoing, charismatic person, you shouldn't lower your chances of success by being perceived as an outsider in an environment where everyone else is drinking.

I wouldn't say I'm not ready for the responsibilities of a relationship, I just don't want them. I have absolutely no desire to become emotionally dependent on any person whatsoever. I can still date and stuff, but it will mostly be flings and casual relationships. Given my personality, this is probably the best route to take, for both me and those around me. And no, I don't have any pets.

Will practice socialization....speaking of which, it's Saturday. I am going to be very busy on Sunday because I have a few papers that need to get done for school, but I can use this day to do whatever. I don't really have anyone I can contact to hang out with (Well...probably. I'd have to check, but don't hold out hope), so where can I go?

Again, if it's just a matter of everyone else drinking, can't I just sip on a beer that's been handed to me or whatever? No one will know I'm not actually drinking the stuff and I won't be considered an outsider.

 

[TheKaeptain]

Yeah usually i'll just go with that route, but the thing was she was the one that wanted to go out tonight. She kept asking if I was free on Friday and texting me all week about it. Then today comes and I receive a whole lotta nothing.

In the words of some handsome guy named Jerry I know...Not worth your time.

 

[MrGame&Watch]

I became practically best friends with this girl who I really like/liked from the beginning. We were abroad together and when that ended we had to go to our respective countries. We still talk very often, few times a week and facebook attack each others walls. The reason why I never got with her was because she was dating a girl, and thought she was into girls. She recently went to guys however, but who cares too late, she's on the other side of the atlantic. An hour ago she messages me saying she has a crazy story to tell. She says she got really drunk and had drunk sex with her really good friend there. However in the middle of sex instead of calling out the girls name, she yells out my name. I responded by saying it's nice that you think about me when you're fucking some chick, something like that. And we talked about it some more and she said something like my friend(that she fucked) was annoyed and jealous that she tells me everything and shit like that. I basically said, now i know how that gay friend that every girl has feels. We moved onto something else and she slipped in a joke about my sexuality so I said something along the lines of would u like me to test my sexuality on you. And she said" and I think that sounds like a good a place as any to call it a night"

So what the fuck am I supposed to make of what she said?

 

[Munin]

I became practically best friends with this girl who I really like/liked from the beginning. We were abroad together and when that ended we had to go to our respective countries. We still talk very often, few times a week and facebook attack each others walls. The reason why I never got with her was because she was dating a girl, and thought she was into girls. She recently went to guys however, but who cares too late, she's on the other side of the atlantic. An hour ago she messages me saying she has a crazy story to tell. She says she got really drunk and had drunk sex with her really good friend there. However in the middle of sex instead of calling out the girls name, she yells out my name. I responded by saying it's nice that you think about me when you're fucking some chick, something like that. And we talked about it some more and she said something like my friend(that she fucked) was annoyed and jealous that she tells me everything and shit like that. I basically said, now i know how that gay friend that every girl has feels. We moved onto something else and she slipped in a joke about my sexuality so I said something along the lines of would u like me to test my sexuality on you. And she said" and I think that sounds like a good a place as any to call it a night"

So what the fuck am I supposed to make of what she said?

Why the fuck would you even care about what she said if she's on the other side of the atlantic?

 

[norinrad]

I became practically best friends with this girl who I really like/liked from the beginning. We were abroad together and when that ended we had to go to our respective countries. We still talk very often, few times a week and facebook attack each others walls. The reason why I never got with her was because she was dating a girl, and thought she was into girls. She recently went to guys however, but who cares too late, she's on the other side of the atlantic. An hour ago she messages me saying she has a crazy story to tell. She says she got really drunk and had drunk sex with her really good friend there. However in the middle of sex instead of calling out the girls name, she yells out my name. I responded by saying it's nice that you think about me when you're fucking some chick, something like that. And we talked about it some more and she said something like my friend(that she fucked) was annoyed and jealous that she tells me everything and shit like that. I basically said, now i know how that gay friend that every girl has feels. We moved onto something else and she slipped in a joke about my sexuality so I said something along the lines of would u like me to test my sexuality on you. And she said" and I think that sounds like a good a place as any to call it a night"

So what the fuck am I supposed to make of what she said?

Oceans apart, time to move on

 

[-PXG-]

Holy shit GAF. I've been up all fucking night. The girl I talked to last night, called me back at 1:30 this morning. I just got off the phone with her just a few minutes ago.... Jesus Christ, this is the baddest bitch on Earth. She is the female version of me. She's incredible. I've never clicked with a girl this quickly or on so many levels. No other girl I've met so far in my life has come close to this one. We made plans to go a bar/ club/ out to dinner next Friday. We both already made other arrangements for this weekend. She really wanted to hang out with me on Sunday, but she's stuck at work all day.

Now, I'm not falling in love (or rather, too fast) and neither is she. I don't want to fuck this up. Sure, there are other girls out there, but this one...man....I've had long, deep conversations with girls in the past, but nothing like this. Plus, neither one of us wanted to get off the phone. Our conversation just kept on going and going and going and going and going into the wee hours of the night. Not one single dull or awkward moment. No one. After several hours of talking, I could tell she was getting sleepy, so I told her I'd let her go and call her later. Plus, I was getting hungry. She told me I made her night (she had a crappy time with her friend apparently) and she was so relieved to have such a great discussion with someone who had so many common interests and beliefs.

I'm excited to get to know her more and take her out on a date, but I'm not getting over anxious or ahead myself. She's cool as hell and utterly amazing, but I want to take this thing slow first. I'm not really tired though. I'm celebrating by making a breakfast fit for a fucking king. I feel like one right now. God damn. But I know if I don't take a nap or something, I'm gonna crash real hard. And oh yeah, I have a date with that virgin tonight, and she's coming over tomorrow too....Goodness gracious :lol

I still haven't heard from the girl I was supposed to see yesterday. Sure, I would have had something to do, besides fuck around on my computer all day, but that shit doesn't phase me one bit now, especially after last night.

 

[sadaiyappan]

I posted this in another thread. I'm going to ask again here:

It looks like I'm heading in the direction of arranged marriage. It's not going to be fully arranged, both me and the bride have to agree, we will get to know each other and hang out before the marriage. I've got US citizenship right now, born and raised near Chicago, but if I get married I will probably stay in India and work there. My family already has some small businesses there. So, I was thinking, should I marry a hot woman from a poorer family, end up falling in love, enjoy sex more? Or should I marry a woman from a wealthier family who is better educated, has smarter/cooler friends that I can hang out with, and who's family could help if I get into legal problems? I'm Tamil, Tamil Nadu is politically stable, but there is still some corruption there.

 

[-PXG-]

I posted this in another thread. I'm going to ask again here:

It looks like I'm heading in the direction of arranged marriage. It's not going to be fully arranged, both me and the bride have to agree, we will get to know each other and hang out before the marriage. I've got US citizenship right now, born and raised near Chicago, but if I get married I will probably stay in India and work there. My family already has some small businesses there. So, I was thinking, should I marry a hot woman from a poorer family, end up falling in love, enjoy sex more? Or should I marry a woman from a wealthier family who is better educated, has smarter/cooler friends that I can hang out with, and who's family could help if I get into legal problems? I'm Tamil, Tamil Nadu is politically stable, but there is still some corruption there.

Damn. I can't relate to that at all.

Isn't jon bones Tamil? If so, he can probably help you. He posts in here regularly. Or you can try PMing him. He gives very blunt, but very sound advice.

-Books and self-help groups are kind of a short-cut. You say that you didn't get that normal experience when you're 13, right? Well, it's not like you can rewind time and go back. You can't relive the past in order to get that experience so where does that leave you? It may feel like a blow to your pride to grab a self-help book at the store but get over it. They help and they wouldn't sell them at bookstores if they didn't sell. If it helps, I used to buy them when I was your age (maybe a little younger). It's really not that big of a deal. I can't recommend a specific one but I'd get a confidence building book that has exercises. They will sound and feel really, really, really stupid to do but do them anyway. Like I said, they help.

-When you say you're not going to think you're the greatest person in the world, that's fine. No one is. You can't go around living like you're no one special though, because that's no different than thinking you're worse than everyone. If you don't feel like you're special, you're not. If you feel like you're the same as everyone else, you are. The key here is that you need to pull out the things that do in fact make you special and unique and put those in the front. If you believe you would never be selected out of a crowd of me-toos, you won't. If you believe you're the best ever, every single time, you're a douche, granted. Here's the key though, if you start believing, no, knowing there is something unique and worthwhile about yourself, you're going to start to look more noticeable to other people. Maybe not everyone, but those people that notice the uniqueness, it'll be more apparent. And lets face it, looking different and worthwhile to some people is far better than looking like just another me-too to everyone.

Great post. The last part was some deep stuff.

 

[Enco]

I posted this in another thread. I'm going to ask again here:

It looks like I'm heading in the direction of arranged marriage. It's not going to be fully arranged, both me and the bride have to agree, we will get to know each other and hang out before the marriage. I've got US citizenship right now, born and raised near Chicago, but if I get married I will probably stay in India and work there. My family already has some small businesses there. So, I was thinking, should I marry a hot woman from a poorer family, end up falling in love, enjoy sex more? Or should I marry a woman from a wealthier family who is better educated, has smarter/cooler friends that I can hang out with, and who's family could help if I get into legal problems? I'm Tamil, Tamil Nadu is politically stable, but there is still some corruption there.

Do you want to love in India or move over to the US?

Someone smart is always a plus. It's tough getting along with someone who's much less capable than you. Not to sound elitist or something but having someone on your standard makes things much easier.

 

[sadaiyappan]

Do you want to love in India or move over to the US?

Someone smart is always a plus. It's tough getting along with someone who's much less capable than you. Not to sound elitist or something but having someone on your standard makes things much easier.

I can teach her things, she can go to school. She can improve my Tamil. I don't need to work in India, but if I do get a good job, I could just end up hanging out with co-workers so it won't matter what her friends are like. The wealthy woman will have better connections, cooler friends. But I'm not a very social person, I'm a shy private person, so I won't go out much anyways.

 

[Enco]

I can teach her things, she can go to school. She can improve my Tamil. I don't need to work in India, but if I do get a good job, I could just end up hanging out with co-workers so it won't matter what her friends are like. The wealthy woman will have better connections, cooler friends. But I'm not a very social person, I'm a shy private person, so I won't go out much anyways.

Do you have certain people in mind then?

Go with the poorer one.

Spoiler

If you read that and thought.. sure! That's a good choice, then there you go. If you read that and had second thoughts, think about the other option.

 

[-PXG-]

Girl from yesterday finally got a hold of me just now. We're currently figuring out when to reschedule.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you pay low-class prostitutes to be with you? The reason I ask, is that I'm not into that type of shtick. I prefer a woman to want to be with me because she wants to be with me.

OMG OMG OMG it's Russel!!!!!!

I love you bro-ski!!!!! :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[HighAmperage]

You kind of brought this on yourself with your avatar, but from now on, I'm reading all of your posts in the voice of Stevie.

Haha, yes I suppose I did bring that on myself. Hey I even used "shithead". :lol

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

*applause for -PXG-*

Finally got a chance to hang out with this girl I've been interested in for about a year now. Definitely going to get her number.

 

[-PXG-]

*applause for -PXG-*

Finally got a chance to hang out with this girl I've been interested in for about a year now. Definitely going to get her number.

Number? You better do more than that son. Damn.

For real, though, just do what you think is right and what you're capable of. Don't get too cocky or take things too fast. Remember, just be cool, confident and have fun. Do that and everything should alright.

And thanks. And when I say this girl is bad...I mean this bitch is bad as fuck. We both laughed at how much we have in common. Jokingly of course, we talked about how we're probably meant for a each and should get married someday. It's funny and kind of scary how much we're on the same page, on pretty much everything.

Talking to girls comes natural to me, but this one man...is something else. Again, I don't have any expectations or getting my hopes. Whatever happens, happens. But hey, so far, this girl great and absolutely wonderful.

 

[grap3fruitman]

No, that's what mistakes are for. Mistakes are not dark, shameful secrets that you dwell on; they're learning experiences.

Well here's the thing, I'm not learning from my "mistakes." I don't know what I'm doing wrong when I approach women but I never get a positive response.

But honestly, the gym probably isn't the greatest place to approach a girl. They think they're sweaty and gross and are probably on guard more in that kind of situation.

This I know but...

What was she doing when you saw her? I mean walking up to her while she's on an elliptical machine with earbuds in is a less than ideal situation.

She was on an elliptical when I came in, I went about my business by the free weights and she came over and started doing some light weights.

It's entirely possible to be confidence in a situation like this, especially if you go in knowing that it's just a learning experience and the outcome isn't what's important.

If I didn't care about the outcome then what's the point of putting in any effort?

If you are inexperienced, asking out a bartender or girl at a gym is not a good idea. These girls get hit on all the time and are very likely to disqualify you right away.

I work out at a small park district gym and was just shocked to see some young, attractive women there. If they come to this gym regularly (I have my doubts as I haven't seen them before), then I don't think they get hit on often as the usual clientele is a lot of older people.

It can be done, but you have a higher chance of success talking to a girl at a bus stop, bookstore, or grocery store than in a gym.

I think it's been established that I have a high chance of success talking to a rock. :lol

 

[jon bones]

No, that's what mistakes are for. Mistakes are not dark, shameful secrets that you dwell on; they're learning experiences. I probably was nervous, but like most things, that goes away with time and practice. I mean, really, it's woman, not a lion. She won't mace or claw you to death. At worst, perhaps a light macing.

:lol

3 txts 2 calls....

way, way, way too many. text or call once. any more screams of desperation.

You prefer guys. No surprise there.

i am gaf's premiere gay dude - you didn't know??? srsly though whats your skype

I posted this in another thread. I'm going to ask again here:

It looks like I'm heading in the direction of arranged marriage. It's not going to be fully arranged, both me and the bride have to agree, we will get to know each other and hang out before the marriage. I've got US citizenship right now, born and raised near Chicago, but if I get married I will probably stay in India and work there. My family already has some small businesses there. So, I was thinking, should I marry a hot woman from a poorer family, end up falling in love, enjoy sex more? Or should I marry a woman from a wealthier family who is better educated, has smarter/cooler friends that I can hang out with, and who's family could help if I get into legal problems? I'm Tamil, Tamil Nadu is politically stable, but there is still some corruption there.

i'm gonna do some thinking and write something up... pm me so i will remember

 

[-PXG-]

I'm just going to write off the girl from yesterday (the one I was going to make lunch for). Fuck her. It's not so much that she didn't show up, but she didn't tell me why she didn't. Hell, when I talked to her this morning, she acted like nothing happened. The bitch didn't even say she was sorry. I don't know what her deal is. I mean, the fuck is that? Whether something came up, she was busy, nervous or lost interest is irrelevant. What makes me mad is just the lack courtesy and letting me know what was up. I'm a big boy, nothing she said would have hurt my feelings. I understand if she has a busy life, or some other guy caught her eye. That's fine. But when we made specific plans, for a specific day and specific place, and when I'm going through a certain level of trouble (cleaning my house, and looking fresh) to get shit ready, the least she could have done was send me a text or give me a quick call. That's all.

Yeah, it might seem like I have a sense of entitlement. It's not just with girls though. It's people in general. It's anyone and any situation. Dates, school, work, girls, friends, co-workers, family, ect. It's not that hard to take a couple seconds and let others know what the fuck is going on. Perhaps I have better manners and a better understanding of proper etiquette when it comes to making and cancelling plans. Or I'm just a whiny bitch. Whatever it is though, I'm over it. Now I have tonight and tomorrow to focus on. No sense dwelling on the past. The present and future are more important. Anyway, I have a date with that horny ass virgin tonight. I don't know what's going to happen. I shall see...

EDIT

God damnit, now she's talking to me again...What the fuck is? This is ridiculous.