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[-PXG-]

I've noticed that I've slowly been losing my inhibitions about chatting girls up. It's as big of a deal as you make it out to be. Where I used to be scared and feel sick when thinking about asking a girl out, lately I've been asking girls out without a second thought. And I'm slowly but surely reaching the point where walking up to a girl I have never talked to before and chatting her up isn't such a big deal. Exciting times Of course it's not always "yes", but it's not "no" as much as I'd thought it would be. All it takes is a few laughs and "Hey, do you want to hang out sometime?"

*edit* I'm thinking about taking this girl to a bowling alley for a first date. Would you guys try to fit dinner in there or just bowling? The bowling alley has SOME food, but it's probably kinda trashy. I was thinking just bowling to keep it light hearted though..

Well that's good to here. Keep on doing your thing.

Anyway, I'd say do dinner afterwards at another joint. Not only is bowling a good way to work up an appetite, but it's a good way to get physical and work on your kino game too.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

I just moved. I'm gonna spend a fair bit of time and money turning my new room into a pimpsquisite lair of awesomeness. I'll have to have my PC and music gear out, but other than that I'm gonna turn it into a room that women will fucking love.

Any tips on how to pimp a bedroom? I've got a sweet bed being delivered soon enough. What else?

This is my speciality. What you need to have first is nice bedding, I mean really nice bedding. Get a bed in a bag if you can't coordinate, but preferably go to bed bath and beyond or some place and ask one if the ladies in the bedding dept what would be some good sheets. Second get some potpourri or some kinda aroma therapy candles. A nice smelling pad will always make a chick panties drop. Also make sure your place is clean and tidy. No junk drawers, no dirty clothes, no dirty dishes, nada. Make sure you hide and loose cords from you computer, games, electronics, etc. It's supposed to look like a showroom. Your room/pad isn't for you to be comfortable, it's to give these hoes a false sense of security so you can shag em!

Make sure your bed is made all the time too and also make sure you have nice curtains and curtain rods up (don't use those cheap white .99 cent ones). Also get an area rug and put maybe some art up on the wall. It doesn't have to be expensive it just has to match your color scheme. Also get a good slow jam mix cd. Something that'll let a girl feel like she's taking a with a glass of wine. Look through home decor magazines/websites for ideas. Yeah you'll feel kinda girly doing it, but trust me it works.

The best thing I ever did was lay my crib out nice. I've had so many chicks tell me how much they love my place and how comfortable they feel laying in my couch/bed. If you make your place comfortable and inviting, girls will be more relaxed and susceptible to whatever deceptive tactics you use to vaginally assault em.

 

[-PXG-]

This is my speciality. What you need to have first is nice bedding, I mean really nice bedding. Get a bed in a bag if you can't coordinate, but preferably go to bed bath and beyond or some place and ask one if the ladies in the bedding dept what would be some good sheets. Second get some potpourri or some kinda aroma therapy candles. A nice smelling pad will always make a chick panties drop. Also make sure your place is clean and tidy. No junk drawers, no dirty clothes, no dirty dishes, nada. Make sure you hide and loose cords from you computer, games, electronics, etc. It's supposed to look like a showroom. Your room/pad isn't for you to be comfortable, it's to give these hoes a false sense of security so you can shag em!

Make sure your bed is made all the time too and also make sure you have nice curtains and curtain rods up (don't use those cheap white .99 cent ones). Also get an area rug and put maybe some art up on the wall. It doesn't have to be expensive it just has to match your color scheme. Also get a good slow jam mix cd. Something that'll let a girl feel like she's taking a with a glass of wine. Look through home decor magazines/websites for ideas. Yeah you'll feel kinda girly doing it, but trust me it works.

The best thing I ever did was lay my crib out nice. I've had so many chicks tell me how much they love my place and how comfortable they feel laying in my couch/bed. If you make your place comfortable and inviting, girls will be more relaxed and susceptible to whatever deceptive tactics you use to vaginally assault em.

That reminds me....my room is a mess. :lol Been so busy on a design project that I've been ignoring everything else.

 

[norinrad]

I'm beginning to think my date won't show up tomorrow.

She was going to call me to make final preparations and agree on where to meet tomorrow, that was hours ago.

I think its time to start going for a plan B in case i get stood up :lol :lol

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

That reminds me....my room is a mess. :lol Been so busy on a design project that I've been ignoring everything else.

Man you better get your shit right, a few weeks back I brought a chick back from the club and my crib wasn't on point. I usually clean my spot before heading out, but I was in a rush so said fuck it. I walked in and dishes was in the sink, garbage wasn't taken out, the whole vibe was way off. That was the first time a chick came home with me and I didn't smash. I'll never make that mistake again.

 

[-PXG-]

I'm beginning to think my date won't show up tomorrow.

She was going to call me to make final preparations and agree on where to meet tomorrow, that was hours ago.

I think its time to start going for a plan B in case i get stood up :lol :lol

Yeah, I'm kind of in the same spot. I'm pretty sure the girl I'm talking to is just legitimately busy. But hey, even if she is flaking out and getting cold feet, it won't bother me too much. I got plenty of other things I can do. Plus, I got more plans for the rest of the weekend.

Man you better get your shit right, a few weeks back I brought a chick back from the club and my crib wasn't on point. I usually clean my spot before heading out, but I was in a rush so said fuck it. I walked in and dishes was in the sink, garbage wasn't taken out, the whole vibe was way off. That was the first time a chick came home with me and I didn't smash. I'll never make that mistake again.

Yeah, if my date for today decides to come over later, I'll tidy up.

 

[norinrad]

Yeah, I'm kind of in the same spot. I'm pretty sure the girl I'm talking to is just legitimately busy. But hey, even if she is flaking out and getting cold feet, it won't bother me too much. I got plenty of other things I can do. Plus, I got more plans for the rest of the weekend.



Yeah, if my date for today decides to come over later, I'll tidy up.

True

My museum card arrived today, am probably going to fuck around in museums all weekend. It provides a good entertainment when you see people pretending to knowledge about art yet can not explain it in a way that any could understand, not that am an art expert :lol

 

[-PXG-]

True

My museum card arrived today, am probably going to fuck around in museums all weekend. It provides a good entertainment when you see people pretending to knowledge about art yet can not explain it in a way that any could understand, not that am an art expert :lol

You know, I'm an artist, and yet I never thought of picking up a girl at a museum. That's a good fucking idea man. Genius. I should try that some time. I'm lucky since I live close to both Philly and NYC. I have a few small ones near me.

 

[Veelk]

Can someone outline exactly what hobbies attract the most girls? Mine are reading, movies/TV shows, videogames, and browsing basically. 2 of the 4 are solitary activities, one is a very passive one where not much interaction takes place, and videogames are not exactly popular with the ladies. I watch a lot of stuff, from psychological dramas (dexter) to anime (...alot, okay?), but I never want to say anything because I feel it's either not interesting, or she'll think less of me ("OMG, he watches those japanese cartoons? Wtf?"). It's ignorant of her if she thinks like that, I know, but I'm not looking for her acceptance of them, just the way to establishing enough of a relationship to get laid and maybe a long lasting relationship. I can't just start talking about how awesome Gurren Lagann is, for example, without having to further explain myself, which ends up making me look like a nerd. Or am I totally off base here and that women don't mind any of that shit? It feels like they do to me, but what do I know. Anyway, any tips?

 

[jon bones]

i'm glad i'm not the only one super hyped to get a museum membership... free museum entry + an invite to this ridiculous babe-filled party? sign me up!

http://www.metmuseum.org/member/youngmembers/photo.aspx

Can someone outline exactly what hobbies attract the most girls? Anyway, any tips?

your hobbies are yours! they make you who you are in many ways... don't ever, ever change those things to placate a woman.

women don't give a shit what you like (with the exception of weird shit like having 100 figures of naked anime chicks everywhere) so long as you are passionate about it.

some of my hobbies are records, comic books, tech stuff, clothing & shoes, surrealist art, film noir, space, skateboarding, skiing, rock climbing... just go out and try new things and see what strikes your passionate side. it's not the hobby that is attractive, it's your passion.

having said all that, it doesn't hurt to learn how to cook. it's a great part of life, saves money, keeps you healthy and has the added benefit of being an attractive thing to do. yoga is another fun, healthy, inexpensive, cultural (if you are a fellow hindu) and sexy hobby.

 

[-PXG-]

i'm glad i'm not the only one super hyped to get a museum membership... free museum entry + an invite to this ridiculous babe-filled party? sign me up!

http://www.metmuseum.org/member/youngmembers/photo.aspx



your hobbies are yours! they make you who you are in many ways... don't ever, ever change those things to placate a woman.

women don't give a shit what you like (with the exception of weird shit like having 100 figures of naked anime chicks everywhere) so long as you are passionate about it. i have a dece record/comi

having said all that, it doesn't hurt to learn how to cook. it's a great part of life, saves money, keeps you healthy and has the added benefit of being an attractive thing to do.

Fucking this.

Always be yourself. Never be ashamed of who you are and what you do. Be proud of yourself. Never change who you are to impress a girl. Don't bullshit and don't front either.

And yes, being a good cook is a major plus. I started getting somewhat serious about it, and so far, girls love it. It's healthy, it saves money and it's a fun and good way to get a girl involved in an activity. Remember, kino, physical contact and intimacy is very important. You want a girl to be relaxed and comfortable around you. Just don't go too fast. Some girls are more open and willing than others. Be sure to read her body language closely, as well as listen to what she is saying. You want to slowly build her trust and move on to the next level. That way, well...you can get whatever it is you want. Hug, hold hands, kiss, or have sex. Whatever floats your boat.

EDIT

Generally, if you're making a girl happy and making her feel relaxed, she will most likely reciprocate by giving something back. Again, depending on what you're doing and her mood, will determine what you get. If you're both laughing, holding hands and doing some light tickling, she'll probably want to cuddle, hug or kiss. If you're grabbing her tits and rubbing her thighs, and she's clearly getting excited, she'll probably want to have sex with you. But hey, nothing is guaranteed. Women are notorious for sending us mixed messages.

 

[WyndhamPrice]

Can someone outline exactly what hobbies attract the most girls? Mine are reading, movies/TV shows, videogames, and browsing basically. 2 of the 4 are solitary activities, one is a very passive one where not much interaction takes place, and videogames are not exactly popular with the ladies. I watch a lot of stuff, from psychological dramas (dexter) to anime (...alot, okay?), but I never want to say anything because I feel it's either not interesting, or she'll think less of me ("OMG, he watches those japanese cartoons? Wtf?"). It's ignorant of her if she thinks like that, I know, but I'm not looking for her acceptance of them, just the way to establishing enough of a relationship to get laid and maybe a long lasting relationship. I can't just start talking about how awesome Gurren Lagann is, for example, without having to further explain myself, which ends up making me look like a nerd. Or am I totally off base here and that women don't mind any of that shit? It feels like they do to me, but what do I know. Anyway, any tips?

Are you creative at all? Writer? Musician? Artist?

 

[norinrad]

i'm glad i'm not the only one super hyped to get a museum membership... free museum entry + an invite to this ridiculous babe-filled party? sign me up!

http://www.metmuseum.org/member/youngmembers/photo.aspx



your hobbies are yours! they make you who you are in many ways... don't ever, ever change those things to placate a woman.

women don't give a shit what you like (with the exception of weird shit like having 100 figures of naked anime chicks everywhere) so long as you are passionate about it.

some of my hobbies are records, comic books, tech stuff, clothing & shoes, surrealist art, film noir, space... just go out and try new things and see what strikes your passionate side. it's not the hobby that is attractive, it's your passion.

having said all that, it doesn't hurt to learn how to cook. it's a great part of life, saves money, keeps you healthy and has the added benefit of being an attractive thing to do. yoga is another fun, healthy, inexpensive, cultural (if you are a fellow hindu) and sexy hobby.

Can not be repeated enough.

I just cooked and enjoyed it with a glass of white wine and in a few minutes i will be off to the movies, yes alone. I have learned to love and enjoy myself.

 

[Veelk]

Are you creative at all? Writer? Musician? Artist?

Writer, though I don't like to share my works with just anyone. In this, I am adamant in. Still, I freely give out my opinions on any books I've read.

I'm not necessarily ashamed of these things. If she wants to criticize me over them, I can defend my opinions, but doesn't that create conflict? Don't I want to avoid that?

Also, home economics class, here I come:lol

 

[norinrad]

Writer, though I don't like to share my works with just anyone. In this, I am adamant in. Still, I freely give out my opinions on any books I've read.

I'm not necessarily ashamed of these things. If she wants to criticize me over them, I can defend my opinions, but doesn't that create conflict? Don't I want to avoid that?

Also, home economics class, here I come:lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmLdkKF4wa8

 

[jon bones]

Writer, though I don't like to share my works with just anyone. In this, I am adamant in. Still, I freely give out my opinions on any books I've read.

I'm not necessarily ashamed of these things. If she wants to criticize me over them, I can defend my opinions, but doesn't that create conflict?

Also, home economics class, here I come:lol

of course it will create conflicts - that's a good, healthy thing. you'll need to be very accessible - never talking down or having a superiority complex about your opinions. be open minded and nonjudgmental but feel free to poke fun at her for random shit you don't agree with... just do it in a funny asshole way and not a condescending nerd way.

keep this in mind: you're awesome and you see brilliance in the things you love. she wants to get a peak into your awesome brain, so drop some gems about stuff. i often refer to princess mononoke as my favorite movie and - when it's framed correctly - almost always gets a reaction that starts as "lolwat" to "wow, what an interesting dude." or at the very least, "wow at least he didn't say Gladiator or Fight Club" :lol

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Writer, though I don't like to share my works with just anyone. In this, I am adamant in.

Perfect. Girls eat that shit up. Even if you want to show her, make her wait. They'll feel like you're not a pushover.

 

[norinrad]

of course it will create conflicts - that's a good, healthy thing. you'll need to be very accessible - never talking down or having a superiority complex about your opinions. be open minded and nonjudgmental but feel free to poke fun at her for random shit you don't agree with... just do it in a funny asshole way and not a condescending nerd way.

keep this in mind: you're awesome and you see brilliance in the things you love. she wants to get a peak into your awesome brain, so drop some gems about stuff. i often refer to princess mononoke as my favorite movie and - when it's framed correctly - almost always gets a reaction that starts as "lolwat" to "wow, what an interesting dude." or at the very least, "wow at least he didn't say Gladiator or Fight Club" :lol

This is right on the mark, women i have noticed usually love guy who are passionate about the things they love.

 

[Veelk]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmLdkKF4wa8

Not entirely sure what you're trying to say here.

of course it will create conflicts - that's a good, healthy thing. you'll need to be very accessible - never talking down or having a superiority complex about your opinions. be open minded and nonjudgmental but feel free to poke fun at her for random shit you don't agree with... just do it in a funny asshole way and not a condescending nerd way.

keep this in mind: you're awesome and you see brilliance in the things you love. she wants to get a peak into your awesome brain, so drop some gems about stuff. i often refer to princess mononoke as my favorite movie and - when it's framed correctly - almost always gets a reaction that starts as "lolwat" to "wow, what an interesting dude." or at the very least, "wow at least he didn't say Gladiator or Fight Club" :lol

*sigh* Therein lies the issue. If this person can stand and support her opinions, awesome, but so very often the person I meet hates or loves something for completely asinine reasons. I can't respect that. One of the reasons that I became a shut in was because I rarely ever found someone I can relate to on an intellectual level, atleast outside of the internet. I know this sounds arrogant and that I'm basically putting down my entire community and it's not like I'm some genius, but it is how it is.

The second problem is that when I get passionate about something, I go for the LONG haul. Ask me why Halo is awesome? I have a 9 page review on the first 3 Halo Campaigns. Why is Alan Wake's story good? Sit down, we're gonna be here for hours. While these things are enjoyable to a person whose interested in these things, I can't imagine many girls being interested to this level that they want to see me lecture on for hours on end, and I'm not interested in bite-sizing my opinions.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

I can't imagine many girls being interested to this level that they want to see me lecture on for hours on end, and I'm not interested in pussy

Fixed.

Sometimes you need to learn to hold back because people have different interests than you and while they might find it fascinating that you like X, they don't particularly care why you like X.

 

[Veelk]

Fixed.

Sometimes you need to learn to hold back because people have different interests than you and while they might find it fascinating that you like X, they don't particularly care why you like X.

How stupid is that? What you like doesn't matter, it's why you like it that's important. There is a world of difference between appreciating the Matrix as a movie because the martial arts choreography was carefully crafted into representing the characters, the philosophic underdone that question what is free will and what is real and the person who likes it "BECUZ OF TEH KEWL BOOLET TYMEZ". Again, that people don't like to actually think about shit is the reason I became a shut in in the first place.

 

[erpg]

Don't don't care about why you like something until there's some level of intimacy, so they can stomach the spiel. Don't front-end that kind of stuff, especially if you are going to bring a podium and lecture them about it.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

:lol where's Russel?

 

[Veelk]

Don't don't care about why you like something until there's some level of intimacy, so they can stomach the spiel. Don't front-end that kind of stuff, especially if you are going to bring a podium and lecture them about it.

Then I really don't understand the point in anybody asking what I like or me asking what they like. Where does the conversation go after "I like X"?

:lol where's Russel?

A supermodel glanced at him and decided to quit her job so she could become his housewife and serve him in any way she could, since she recognized his greatness as a completely ordinary person, particularly his incredibly sexy inability to take any responsibility for himself.

 

[norinrad]

:lol where's Russel?

Probably standing on his balcony with a cig while he recollects his thoughts.

 

[erpg]

Then I really don't understand the point in anybody asking what I like or me asking what they like. Where does the conversation go after "I like X"?

Talk about experience (which is interesting), not reasoning.

 

[WyndhamPrice]

How stupid is that? What you like doesn't matter, it's why you like it that's important. There is a world of difference between appreciating the Matrix as a movie because the martial arts choreography was carefully crafted into representing the characters, the philosophic underdone that question what is free will and what is real and the person who likes it "BECUZ OF TEH KEWL BOOLET TYMEZ". Again, that people don't like to actually think about shit is the reason I became a shut in in the first place.

My current girlfriend likes country music. A lot. I don't particularly care why, and I don't really care for the genre at all, but the fact that she does is interesting to me (as she's the only person I know is into that stuff). She also has not seen a whole lot of films, but what she has seen is the most bizarre combination of terrible-to-amazing cinema. She unapologetically enjoys Batman and Robin "because it's funny." For a pop culture Rainman (to borrow a Scott Bromley-ism) and cinephile such as myself that should be some kind of red flag, right?

Nope, those quirks and interests make her way more interesting and attractive to me just because they're different. Do I need to know why? Not really. She has a bajillion more redeeming qualities; having someone with the exact same likes and dislikes can be kind of boring after a while (I spent 5 years with someone like that).

I don't feel like I've really contributed to any of the points being made here after reading over this but I thought it was interesting.

 

[Veelk]

Talk about experience, not reasoning.

To experience what? Just the talking itself? I don't get it. If the conversation is to be of value, shouldn't each participant have to actually take something from the other person? Maybe a joke, maybe a new perspective on how to view a book or movie, or something? If you have no issues talking to others, then what does 'experience' help with exactly?

My current girlfriend likes country music. A lot. I don't particularly care why, and I don't really care for the genre at all, but the fact that she does is interesting to me (as she's the only person I know is into that stuff). She also has not seen a whole lot of films, but what she has seen is the most bizarre combination of terrible-to-amazing cinema. She unapologetically enjoys Batman and Robin "because it's funny." For a pop culture Rainman (to borrow a Scott Bromley-ism) and cinephile such as myself that should be some kind of red flag, right?

Nope, those quirks and interests make her way more interesting and attractive to me just because they're different. Do I need to know why? Not really. She has a bajillion more redeeming qualities; having someone with the exact same likes and dislikes can be kind of boring after a while (I spent 5 years with someone like that).

I don't feel like I've really contributed to any of the points being made here after reading over this but I thought it was interesting.

No, different opinions are fine, but it is the why that matters. Liking B&R is fine because, if viewed from a certain angle, yeah, it can be. But what if she unapologetically liked it because of the subtle acting performance of Arnold Schwarzenegger? Then you might have a bit to say about that. You may simply agree to disagree, but I can't imagine that you wouldn't think she is literally crazy, would you?

you're going to need to give people a chance or you will be lonely for a long time. there are beautiful women who are incredibly interesting in ways that are not immediately obvious. you can't disqualify every woman you meet because they can't articulate why they loved Inception.

Fair enough, but for that reason, I wouldn't ask nor would I care what her opinion was in the first place, which I then lose my conversational ticket.

 

[jon bones]

*sigh* Therein lies the issue. If this person can stand and support her opinions, awesome, but so very often the person I meet hates or loves something for completely asinine reasons. I can't respect that.

One of the reasons that I became a shut in was because I rarely ever found someone I can relate to on an intellectual level, atleast outside of the internet.

I know this sounds arrogant and that I'm basically putting down my entire community and it's not like I'm some genius, but it is how it is.

I'm not interested in bite-sizing my opinions.

oh hey look it's exactly what i was talking about 4 posts ago

you'll need to be very accessible - never talking down or having a superiority complex about your opinions. be open minded and nonjudgmental

you're going to need to give people a chance or you will be lonely for a long time. there are beautiful women who are incredibly interesting in ways that are not immediately obvious. you can't disqualify every woman you meet because they can't articulate why they loved Inception.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Then I really don't understand the point in anybody asking what I like or me asking what they like. Where does the conversation go after "I like X"?

You can talk about why you like it, but keep it short and simple.

When people ask my why I like basketball, I say it's because it's fun, it's a great workout, and I'm really competitive, not some 3 hours long lecture on how I overcome adversity every time I step on the court because I'm a short, thin, Asian guy.

 

[erpg]

To experience what? Just the talking itself? I don't get it. If the conversation is to be of value, shouldn't each participant have to actually take something from the other person? Maybe a joke, maybe a new perspective on how to view a book or movie, or something? If you have no issues talking to others, then what does 'experience' help with exactly?

I guess when you're talking about a book/movie, experience doesn't really matter since it's completely passive and sedentary experience, so its doesn't really apply. So yeah, if you're desperate to lead the conversation further into it, you can talk about reasoning. Keep it short. Honestly, it's boring if deep interest isn't mutual. Everything else, funny anecdotes are better than reason.

Overall, don't be so full of yourself that you want to offload what you want to talk about if they aren't on the same level.

 

[Veelk]

I guess when you're talking about a book/movie, experience doesn't really matter since it's completely passive and sedentary experience, so its doesn't really apply. So yeah, if you're desperate to lead the conversation further into it, you can talk about reasoning. Keep it short. Honestly, it's boring if deep interest isn't mutual. Everything else, funny anecdotes are better than reason.

Overall, don't be so full of yourself that you want to offload what you want to talk about if they aren't on the same level.

The thing is, I'm not trying to be 'full of myself'. I'm an analytical person by nature, when I really like something, I spend a long time thinking and constructing my opinions. And now your telling me that it's good that I'm passionate about these things, and I shouldn't hide that I love them....but I shouldn't talk about them either, because if the interest isn't mutual, I am going to bore the person, but if I don't have a deep discussion in it, then I'm bored and not sure where to take the conversation next.

You can talk about why you like it, but keep it short and simple.

When people ask my why I like basketball, I say it's because it's fun, it's a great workout, and I'm really competitive, not some 3 hours long lecture on how I overcome adversity every time I step on the court because I'm a short, thin, Asian guy.

Basketball is more of a physical activity. It's easy to write it off as being fun and nothing more, because you don't talk about basketball, you play it. The words are unnecessary. Like Lyphen says, with the stuff I like, books, movies, etc that's different. You reasoning, which can be quite complex, is what matters.

 

[erpg]

Well, I guess you're just going to have to date an accountant.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

The thing is, I'm not trying to be 'full of myself'. I'm an analytical person by nature, when I really like something, I spend a long time thinking and constructing my opinions. And now your telling me that it's good that I'm passionate about these things, and I shouldn't hide that I love them....but I shouldn't talk about them either, because if the interest isn't mutual, I am going to bore the person, but if I don't have a deep discussion in it, then I'm bored and not sure where to take the conversation next.

Okay well how about this. Compromise. Generalize your argument as briefly as possible and read her body language. If she's interested, go on. If she's not, ask her what her favorite X is and why. Simple?

 

[jon bones]

The thing is, I'm not trying to be 'full of myself'. I'm an analytical person by nature, when I really like something, I spend a long time thinking and constructing my opinions. And now your telling me that it's good that I'm passionate about these things, and I shouldn't hide that I love them....but I shouldn't talk about them either, because if the interest isn't mutual, I am going to bore the person, but if I don't have a deep discussion in it, then I'm bored and not sure where to take the conversation next.

you have the same problem i used to have - and no doubt many other gaffers share(d) it. you love to analyze things and can articulate a well thought out long winded explanation but... accessibility is key.

you will need to find that fine between unbridled passion and thoughtful accessibility. you want to share your thoughts because you think others will find it interesting, you don't want to intimidate or try to impress.

 

[Veelk]

Well, I guess you're just going to have to date an accountant.

Nah. I'll tone it down and try to bare it. Not like I was necessarily looking for an actual relationship anyway. I just wanted to let you all know how much I hated it.

Okay well how about this. Compromise. Generalize your argument as briefly as possible and read her body language. If she's interested, go on. If she's not, ask her what her favorite X is and why. Simple?

you have the same problem i used to have - and no doubt many other gaffers share(d) it. you love to analyze things and can articulate a well thought out long winded explanation but... accessibility is key.

you will need to find that fine between unbridled passion and thoughtful accessibility. you want to share your thoughts because you think others will find it interesting, you don't want to intimidate or try to impress.

Will do.

 

[Cyan]

Fair enough, but for that reason, I wouldn't ask nor would I care what her opinion was in the first place, which I then lose my conversational ticket.

But see, the reverse is also true. Your in-depth opinion about the philosophy behind the Matrix or whatever might be something your conversational partner doesn't care about, and will be bored by. Conversations are a two-way street.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

How stupid is that? What you like doesn't matter, it's why you like it that's important. There is a world of difference between appreciating the Matrix as a movie because the martial arts choreography was carefully crafted into representing the characters, the philosophic underdone that question what is free will and what is real and the person who likes it "BECUZ OF TEH KEWL BOOLET TYMEZ". Again, that people don't like to actually think about shit is the reason I became a shut in in the first place.

:lol you're thinking way too much about this shit man. You gotta learn to turn your brain OFF

 

[The Technomancer]

Hm, so another undergraduate researcher joined our department, and she was at the weekly meeting today. She seems really nice, I think she's cute, I'm going to try to talk to her when I get the chances, get to know her better. I'd probably wait until after finals die down to ask her out though, since everyone is going to be so crazily busy.

 

[Veelk]

But see, the reverse is also true. Your in-depth opinion about the philosophy behind the Matrix or whatever might be something your conversational partner doesn't care about, and will be bored by. Conversations are a two-way street.

Yeah, if there is no common ground to talk about it at all, then I don't see how I can converse with the person. I can appreciate special effects too, but once we say "Oh, wow, cool", what is there left to talk about? Even if your interested in this stuff, what else can you really say? Where can the conversation go besides the deeper aspects of the matrix or whatever you are talking about?

:lol you're thinking way too much about this shit man. You gotta learn to turn your brain OFF

No. I am willing to go to many lengths to trust your advice, girls-gaf, especially you bdizzle, who seems so experienced at this, but this is one thing I will not budge on. I will try to hold my opinions back, but I will not turn my brain off. I consider it to be my greatest aspect as a person and my biggest source of confidence, whether or not it gets others to like me.

 

[JeTmAn81]

Yeah, if there is no common ground to talk about it at all, then I don't see how I can converse with the person. I can appreciate special effects too, but once we say "Oh, wow, cool", what is there left to talk about? Even if your interested in this stuff, what else can you really say? Where can the conversation go besides the deeper aspects of the matrix or whatever you are talking about?
No. I am willing to go to many lengths to trust your advice, girls-gaf, especially you bdizzle, who seems so experienced at this, but this is one thing I will not budge on. I will try to hold my opinions back, but I will not turn my brain off. I consider it to be my greatest aspect as a person and my biggest source of confidence, whether or not it gets others to like me.

You don't have to turn your brain off, but you do have to have respect for the other person. If an in-depth discussion of the philosophical merits of your favorite movie isn't something they'd be enriched by, then it would be rude to force that on them. You have to feel it out by asking slightly more probing questions of the other person, and then if they bite on that you know you can go further.

I've always thought that most people who are analytical/information packrats about certain things (like me) understood that vetting someone for accessing your "real" brain is a fairly delicate process. If you just go off on a random spiel about Captain Picard's self-identity during his time as Locutus, you're going to lose 99% of people right away.

 

[-PXG-]

:lol you're thinking way too much about this shit man. You gotta learn to turn your brain OFF

That and actually listen to us. He's merely reading the words in our posts, but not processing them.

Generic, open your mind and don't worry about having deep intellectual/ philosophical conversation at the offset. Those sort of discussions take time to develop, and only after you've established some kind of connection and comfort with someone. Just start getting to know girls at a basic level. You're in no position to judge someone after one short conversation, and neither are they.

Start simple. Ask a girl what she likes to do. For example, if she likes playing the cello, ask her how long she's been playing, who taught her, if that was her focus in school/ career/ vocation, ect. Whether or not you care or it pertains to you is irrelevant. You're learning more about her, thus building a bond and making it so you can create new conversations with her later on. Small discussions like this are necessary segues into more complex ones, as well as creating an overall deeper relationship. Yeah, it might seem boring, beneath you and a waste of time, but you have to do it if you want to get to know her. Don't think you can get a girlfriend or get laid by bypassing this (very crucial) step. You can't.

Very few people are going to want to engage in a debate regarding the morality, ethics and logistics of Don't ask, don't tell, when you first meet them. It's an unrealistic and unreasonable expectation on your part. And in some ways, it's arrogant, pompous and very off putting. Just saying...

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Yeah, if there is no common ground to talk about it at all, then I don't see how I can converse with the person. I can appreciate special effects too, but once we say "Oh, wow, cool", what is there left to talk about? Even if your interested in this stuff, what else can you really say? Where can the conversation go besides the deeper aspects of the matrix or whatever you are talking about?
No. I am willing to go to many lengths to trust your advice, girls-gaf, especially you bdizzle, who seems so experienced at this, but this is one thing I will not budge on. I will try to hold my opinions back, but I will not turn my brain off. I consider it to be my greatest aspect as a person and my biggest source of confidence, whether or not it gets others to like me.

When I say turn your brain off, I mean stop overanalyzing every little thing. That shit will drive you crazy. You have to learn how to just be in the moment. Questioning the why's and why nots of every action someone does is gonna make you come off as too damn serious, or overly critical.

If I meet a girl and she tells me she hates the matrix (my favorite movie) I'm not going to try to figure out whether she understands the important cinemagrphic features of the film, I'll just let it roll off my back. If she says she loves the matrix, I'm not going to go into some deep philosophical discussion about the parallels of the matrix world vs. the current sleep walking state our society is in. I'm gonna say awesome, give her a hi 5, then keep it moving.

You have to keep everything light and airy, especially in the beginning. You have only one goal, and thats to have fun. Nothing should be serious, deep, or philosophical. When you meet a girl, the goal is to have fun with her, not analyze her.

Now once you realize your personalities mesh, and you think she's worth getting to know, then you can start having those deep conversations.

 

[Veelk]

I'll try, but I can't say I like it. I can make a deep thoughtful post here any time I want and people will read and analyze it. I don't even know you people, but you'll still contemplate my thoughts and possibly react with your own thoughtful reaction. There are deep conversations started here on gaf at any given moment, and no one knows each other here. Why can't it be like that in real life?

 

[WyndhamPrice]

I'll try, but I can't say I like it. I can make a deep thoughtful post here any time I want and people will read and analyze it. I don't even know you people, but you'll still contemplate my thoughts and possibly react with your own thoughtful reaction. There are deep conversations started here on gaf at any given moment, and no one knows each other here. Why can't it be like that in real life?

On a message board we have time to organize and sort our thoughts, and it's sort of assumed that just by posting here we are interested in similar things and open to discussions about them.

In real life we rarely get that opportunity so you need to be more superficial from the outset. Human interaction is made of of layers and you can't skip to the deeper aspects unless you can form the most basic of connections in the beginning.

 

[erpg]

Well, because real life isn't a web forum where you have to create an account knowing what the subject of the conversations are going focus on (male dominated, gaming, like GAF), or enter a thread knowing where the discussion will lead.

Guess you could also try various nerd conventions if you want to narrow things down. Book signings, ComicCon, etc. Met my current girlfriend at an art store (one visit, she was a cashier), worked out well.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

I'll try, but I can't say I like it. I can make a deep thoughtful post here any time I want and people will read and analyze it. I don't even know you people, but you'll still contemplate my thoughts and possibly react with your own thoughtful reaction. There are deep conversations started here on gaf at any given moment, and no one knows each other here. Why can't it be like that in real life?

Because we're not trying to fuck each other :lol

When you 1st meet a chick, you have one goal, to have fun. That's it. Everything else is irrelevant to that one goal. You're job, your health, your bank account, how you feel about religion, music, politics, et at.....

 

[Cyan]

On a message board we have time to organize and sort our thoughts, and it's sort of assumed that just by posting here we are interested in similar things and open to discussions about them.

Well, that and we can skim or skip posts if we want to. Because it's not face-to-face, we're not required by politeness to sit there listening while our eyes glaze over.

IRL, you need other defenses against such things. Such as the common social behavior of not getting into deep and involved conversations without being sure the other person is interested.

 

[Veelk]

Alright admittedly, that was a stupid question to ask. I've got very little sleep on me atm, apologies all. I guess it's just that since this was my main method of conversing with other people for the last 8 years, I'm just very used to it and am having trouble comprehending some aspects of face to face interactions.

 

[-PXG-]

I'll try, but I can't say I like it. I can make a deep thoughtful post here any time I want and people will read and analyze it. I don't even know you people, but you'll still contemplate my thoughts and possibly react with your own thoughtful reaction. There are deep conversations started here on gaf at any given moment, and no one knows each other here. Why can't it be like that in real life?

You want a girl right? Want her to be your girlfriend? You want pussy? Too bad, you have to do it. If the worst thing you have to do is a little small talk to get a girl to like you, or have her take you to Vaginaville, then you have no right to complain or have such a high horse mentality. If the only thing you have to do is diversify the subject matter of your conversations or learn how to not to over intellectualize shit, you're very lucky. It's not like you have to get out of a serious bout of depression, overcome servere social anxiety or lose 100 pounds. You just need to learn how to not be so uptight. Relax, loosen up and go with the flow man.