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[jon bones]

If I'm looking, boys who do drugs or smoke are immediately stricken from my list. Pardon me while I go suck my thumb, given I'm so immature. *rolleyes*

you wouldn't date a guy who smokes pot?

 

[Biff]

If I'm looking, boys who do drugs or smoke are immediately stricken from my list. Pardon me while I go suck my thumb, given I'm so immature. *rolleyes*

Look, you're gonna find immature women wherever you go. If you keep looking, though, you might also find ones with their heads screwed on straight.

I think you misunderstood me? I'm not saying the girls are immature because they won't talk to me because I do drugs and smoke, I'm saying they're immature because the silly questionnaires in the site encourage that kind of demographic. The facebook "which twilight character are you quiz?!?!!?" kind of people.

As someone who doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, it was incredibly difficult to sort through OKC for girls who share the same values, because the site puts this information on everyone's front page as one of the first things you see. Therefore, I find that girls put 'sometimes' for the aforementioned activities instead of 'never', because they are worried about being shunned for the opposite reason you reject guys.

POF has it embedded within a generic 'about you' field. Very little emphasis placed on your answers, but much easier to sort through searches if it matters to you.

I met my current gf (almost 6 months ago) on POF, and the other girl I met in person had a good head on her shoulders, but we just didn't click.

On OKC, I was stood up by some emotionally unstable wreck who didn't want to see me because she "didn't look good" that day.. Except she told me this 15 minutes before our date while I was on the subway almost there. The other OKC girl who I talked with off the site told me she was raped when she was 12 years old within 5 minutes of our first phone call :/

 

[jamesinclair]

you wouldn't date a guy who smokes pot?

I would date a girl who has tried pot
I would NOT date a girl who currently smokes pot.

 

[jon bones]

anyone else think we should have a separate thread for online dating? i'm really leaning towards that idea

I would date a girl who has tried pot
I would NOT date a girl who currently smokes pot.

but you would date a woman who currently listens to nu metal?

To add to this I wouldn't date a girl who smoked cigarettes either. (I hate the smell).
Definitely a big turn off for me if a girl smokes any substance really.

cigarette smoke residual smell and weed smoke residual smell aren't even close to the same thing - cig smoke gets on everything and it's understandable not to want to date a cigarette smoker

 

[DualShadow]

I would date a girl who has tried pot
I would NOT date a girl who currently smokes pot.

To add to this I wouldn't date a girl who smoked cigarettes either. (I hate the smell).
Definitely a big turn off for me if a girl smokes any substance really.

 

[jamesinclair]

but you would date a woman who currently listens to nu metal?

cigarette smoke residual smell and weed smoke residual smell aren't even close to the same thing - cig smoke gets on everything and it's understandable not to want to date a cigarette smoker

Whats wrong with nu metal....?

Weed smoke still smells like shit. I live near a farm and Id rather the stench of manure invade my home than a marijuana cigarette.

I would also not like a woman who smokes cigars, pipes, teddy bears etc

Smoking is for factories, not for people

 

[Mike Works]

I would date a girl who has tried pot

Really? Why not?

edit: haha, read that as "would not". nevermind!

 

[Mr.City]

The first girl I met from OKC offered me pot. Those were good times.

 

[The Shadow]

OKC puts too much emphasis on religion, drugs and alcohol. It's a very immature site, and from my experience, the women are extremely immature as well.

Use POF instead. The interface is annoying at first, but you'll get used to it.

Different websites will cater to different types of people. You had better luck on PoF and shitty luck on OKC. I've had the exact opposite experience. For instance, I can't seem to find anyone on PoF in my town that weighs less than 180lbs. or doesn't have kids.

OKC has its share of crazies but I've met some awesome women on there too. No site is gold for everyone.

To add to this I wouldn't date a girl who smoked cigarettes either. (I hate the smell).
Definitely a big turn off for me if a girl smokes any substance really.

I used to have a "No Smokers" rule but the last decent girl I went out with smoked. I didn't know this at all and she didn't reveal it until our 3rd or 4th night out. In any case, yeah, lots to like about her so the smoking thing was kinda forgivable at that point. We didn't last not because of the smoking but because the only thing she liked to do was go out drinking with her friends, every gd weekend.

 

[Chris R]

Asked a girl (friend of my brother, acquaintance of mine, not currently dating anyone) out to a free Christmas music concert and coffee afterwords. It was pretty short notice but she said no. My head tells me to just move on, but I think something could work here and that she just said no due to the short notice (2 days). So, which is it :|

 

[vitaminwateryum]

Asked a girl (friend of my brother, acquaintance of mine, not currently dating anyone) out to a free Christmas music concert and coffee afterwords. It was pretty short notice but she said no. My head tells me to just move on, but I think something could work here and that she just said no due to the short notice (2 days). So, which is it :|

Move on, if it was an issue of being busy she would have made time.

 

[The Shadow]

Asked a girl (friend of my brother, acquaintance of mine, not currently dating anyone) out to a free Christmas music concert and coffee afterwords. It was pretty short notice but she said no. My head tells me to just move on, but I think something could work here and that she just said no due to the short notice (2 days). So, which is it :|

2 days isn't really that short. Asking her the day of the concert or the night before is short. In either case, unless she had firm plans already, she would have made the time to go. I'd move on.

 

[Guts Of Thor]

This isn't a story asking for help. It's just funny and I thought some of the guys in this thread would appreciate it and could relate. So there's this super hot girl that works at my bank and she always hits on me when I go in...until she sees my bank account balance. Since I'm a senior in college I'm pretty broke all the time. The first time she hit on me I she kept going on about how smart I must be for going to the school I go to, then she saw that I had $3.47. Complete business tone after that and no eye contact. Today I was going in to dispute a BS overdraft charge and decided to put in a check first before taking care of it. Of course she was the teller that I went to and she was hitting on me harder than before. She was going on about how much she loved the band I had a shirt of on and started talking to me about music and websites to get rare band merch. Then she saw the $-28 balance. Her response, "yeah...this site is also pretty cheap if you order anything from there." :lol

:lol :lol :lol

Same thing happened to me a while back! The teller was cute and flirting with me but then she saw my account balance and changed her tone FAST. I'm 28 so that was strike two. I had a good laugh about on the way home and always laugh when I think about it.

 

[jamesinclair]

:lol :lol :lol

Same thing happened to me a while back! The teller was cute and flirting with me but then she saw my account balance and changed her tone FAST. I'm 28 so that was strike two. I had a good laugh about on the way home and always laugh when I think about it.

Pretty stupid thing to do though.

Banka ccounts are bad places to save money, as they make almost zero interest.

 

[Yaweee]

Looks like none of my RL friends are available to bounce this off of, so here goes:

I went out for a coffee date with a girl from PoF just before the Thanksgiving holiday. It went wall. We talked for two and a half hours before she had to leave, but we made tentative plans to do something after sometime after the holiday, and she also texts me at 2AM to tell me that she had a really good time and was looking forward to our next date (and, yes, I did respond to this the next morning when I saw the message on my phone).

So, I call her at the start of the next week to make plans for a proper first-date that coming weekend. No answer, and no callback. I wait a few days, then make other plans for the weekend, intent on trying again this week.

But today she sends me an angry text, "We would have had fun. Oh well, good luck", as if I had just blown her off. Talking to her, she claims she never got my phone call, or wasn't recorded on her phone or anything.

We have plans for this weekend now, but I'm interested in GAF's thoughts on this whole thing. Was I in the wrong for not calling her multiple times in hopes of scheduling something for last weekend, or is she right at being kind of angry/confrontational if I genuinely didn't call her back to make plans for the first free weekend after we first met?

 

[jamesinclair]

You should have left a voice mail, or called back the next day.

I'm assuming she has AT&T?

I've had multiple instances of people asking why I didn't answer or call back, and my phone shows no missed calls.

Voice mail or text leaves indisputable evidence of your attempt to make contact.


I don't think she's in the wrong to be angry. I'd be pissed off if after a 2 hour date the girl didn't even have the courtesy to say "thanks, I had a good time, but I'm looking for something else"

 

[norinrad]

Now, some of you fellas (and ladies) might think that this advice is chauvinist. Before you do that, look at some of the poor souls in this thread. We got guys flying out to meet women they have never met before, men having panic attacks at night as they devise the perfect strategy for asking out that office temp, men having mental breakdowns after they get shot down. Women are special, but not so special that you should base your life worth on them.

This can not be quoted enough.

 

[Argyle]

Looks like none of my RL friends are available to bounce this off of, so here goes:

I went out for a coffee date with a girl from PoF just before the Thanksgiving holiday. It went wall. We talked for two and a half hours before she had to leave, but we made tentative plans to do something after sometime after the holiday, and she also texts me at 2AM to tell me that she had a really good time and was looking forward to our next date (and, yes, I did respond to this the next morning when I saw the message on my phone).

So, I call her at the start of the next week to make plans for a proper first-date that coming weekend. No answer, and no callback. I wait a few days, then make other plans for the weekend, intent on trying again this week.

But today she sends me an angry text, "We would have had fun. Oh well, good luck", as if I had just blown her off. Talking to her, she claims she never got my phone call, or wasn't recorded on her phone or anything.

We have plans for this weekend now, but I'm interested in GAF's thoughts on this whole thing. Was I in the wrong for not calling her multiple times in hopes of scheduling something for last weekend, or is she right at being kind of angry/confrontational if I genuinely didn't call her back to make plans for the first free weekend after we first met?

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that this girl really, really likes you! If you like her too, then this is yours to screw up. She really put the ball back in your court and you know where you stand with her.

The bad news is...the angry text is a huge red flag, IMHO. That means she probably spent the whole weekend expecting you to call and you didn't, and she got pissed...so you need to decide if she is too crazy/clingy for you - if it were me, I would go out with her again but keep your eyes open...

These kinds of misunderstandings happen...but IMHO the right thing for her to do if she really wanted to see you again would be to ask YOU out for this coming weekend.

 

[Mr.City]

It's funny how quickly and how deeply girls fall for guys sometimes.

 

[Rubenov]

Pardon me while I go suck my thumb, given I'm so immature. *rolleyes*

Look, you're gonna find immature women wherever you go. If you keep looking, though, you might also find ones with their heads screwed on straight.

Lol someone hit a nerve.

 

[Enco]

Whats wrong with nu metal....?

Weed smoke still smells like shit. I live near a farm and Id rather the stench of manure invade my home than a marijuana cigarette.

I would also not like a woman who smokes cigars, pipes, teddy bears etc

Smoking is for factories, not for people

I'm all with you there.

Smoking is a big no no.

Spoiler

If I really really like her and she's willing to stop or at the very least cut down, I guess I can consider it. That's pushing it though.

 

[ReiGun]

I like girl. Girl likes me, but girl has boyfriend.

FUUUUUUUUUUU...(and so on).

I just had to get that out somewhere.

 

[jon bones]

We have plans for this weekend now, but I'm interested in GAF's thoughts on this whole thing. Was I in the wrong for not calling her multiple times in hopes of scheduling something for last weekend, or is she right at being kind of angry/confrontational if I genuinely didn't call her back to make plans for the first free weekend after we first met?

next time try texting her a little more often - random laconic texts that are just to keep the line open and mini-conversations going. you are interested but keep in mind you are busy and don't really care

You should have left a voice mail, or called back the next day.

no

If I really really like her and she's willing to stop or at the very least cut down, I guess I can consider it. That's pushing it though.

:lol you must be a catch then - unless you'd be willing to give up meat for a random girl

I like girl. Girl likes me, but girl has boyfriend.

either man up, scheme real hard and make it happen or make sure this is the last we'll hear of this

Asked a girl (friend of my brother, acquaintance of mine, not currently dating anyone) out to a free Christmas music concert and coffee afterwords. It was pretty short notice but she said no. My head tells me to just move on, but I think something could work here and that she just said no due to the short notice (2 days). So, which is it :|

next time that happens - immediately reschedule one time. she says "ohh that doesn't work" - you say "well are you free next week?" - if she still says "ohh i'm busy all week" then bail.

 

[Yaweee]

Thanks for the advice all. Yeah, I probably should have thrown in a text or two there, but if she still wants to go out on another date with me, no harm done I guess?

 

[jon bones]

Thanks for the advice all. Yeah, I probably should have thrown in a text or two there, but if she still wants to go out on another date with me, no harm done I guess?

nope! you're in there like swimwear

 

[ReiGun]

either man up, scheme real hard and make it happen or make sure this is the last we'll hear of this

Yo, that's pretty much where I was at. :lol Decided to say "fuck him" and go for it. Trying to arrange a trip to the movies with her this weekend.

 

[jon bones]

Yo, that's pretty much where I was at. :lol Decided to say "fuck him" and go for it. Trying to arrange a trip to the movies with her this weekend.

movies are way too platonic - scheme up something that involves drinks and an impromptu trip back to your place. make strong moves.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

movies are way too platonic - scheme up something that involves drinks and an impromptu trip back to your place. make strong moves.

Perhaps it's just common sense to suggest that, but the way you worded it makes it sound as if you've been there more than a few times :lol Home-wrecking is meh, but you do what you gotta do I guess. There's so many women out there though, why be that guy ReiGun.

 

[ReiGun]

movies are way too platonic - scheme up something that involves drinks and an impromptu trip back to your place. make strong moves.

That's a good point. Okay, I'll see what I can cook up here.

Perhaps it's just common sense to suggest that, but the way you worded it makes it sound as if you've been there more than a few times :lol Home-wrecking is meh, but you do what you gotta do I guess. There's so many women out there though, why be that guy ReiGun.

I mean, I'm not gonna be focusing all my energy on this one chick. I'm still on the look out for single women, and if I manage to get one of those, I'll drop this. Still, I feel like I have to at least throw my bid in and see how it goes. I can't quite put into words the "why" of it, but it really is a "you do what you gotta do" situation as you said. Trust me, I don't plan to make a habit of such unethical practices. :lol

 

[jon bones]

Perhaps it's just common sense to suggest that, but the way you worded it makes it sound as if you've been there more than a few times :lol Home-wrecking is meh, but you do what you gotta do I guess. There's so many women out there though, why be that guy ReiGun.

of the last 3 girls i've been with, one has an on-again/off-again boyfriend, one has a solid boyfriend and one has a fiancee. i am a scumbag and i am ok with it.

That's a good point. Okay, I'll see what I can cook up here.

keep in mind that no = no but "i have a boyfriend" != no

"i don't care" and continue going in for it is an acceptable (if not preferred response) to "...but i have a boyfriend" when you try to kiss her

also finding a subtle way to mute/muffle her cell phone is important once it's going down. fight the urge to secretly "accept" the dozen+ inevitable calls she'll get while you're banging her.

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

So, uh, hey.

Sometimes breaking up a long-term relationship to date someone can backfire on you horribly.

Just piping in.

 

[RebornYeti]

Alright, so let me start off by saying that this isn't so much a problem I have with a girl. Rather it's a problem a girl has caused between me and a good friend. Still... it has to do with a girl. :lol

Anyway, so I met this girl at a church get-together. We immediately hit it off and instantly became friends. After that night she found me on Facebook and we started chatting a lot on there, then she finally gave me her number. We would literally text the entire day and it was great. She then finally says that she really likes me and she wants to go out sometime. So that was great too. Well about a week or so after I met her, my best friend calls me up and says: "Hey I have to talk to you about *girl*. (That's what I'll be calling her).

He said that she has been texting him for about the same amount of time she has been texting me, and that she said that she also really liked him and that they should go out too. At first I was like no way, but he showed me the texts she was sending him. So we both came to the conclusion that we would confront her about this so she would tell us what's up. She came up with some lame excuse that I won't get into. As a result of all that, we are no longer friends and I want nothing to do with her.

Anyway, fast forward to about a week ago. At that point I was barely getting over the fact that she played both me and my best friend, so all was good. But that was until I found out that her next target was one of my other good friends. They started talking and hanging out, and they seemed like they were having fun. I had to tell my good friend what she did to me and my best friend, and he wasn't having it. I had to tell him that I couldn't support their friendship or potential relationship, and he told me that he wouldn't be with her if it meant that our friendship would end, but he still wanted to remain friends with her. After he said that I didn't really talk to him after that. I think that just goes against the rules of being a friend. You don't go after a girl that played one of your friends, at least that's what I think.

Let's fast forward again to about yesterday. That's when Facebook told me that girl and good friend are in a relationship. And that's when you come in GAF.

So, should I stop being his friend since he's pretty much going against what I told him to do? Or should I talk to him about it and try and talk some sense into him?

P.S. Sorry for the wall of text.

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

It's not worth breaking up a friendship over.

 

[Xun]

I feel so low at the moment.

Maybe there's something horribly unattractive about me?

As a person I'm a lot more confident compared to how I was, but the reaction of girls as I pass them around college just hasn't changed at all.

Meh.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

I am a scumbag and I am ok with it.

This thread took an interesting turn with Jon giving advice here :lol Why do you do it though? The challenge/thrill? Or did you just happen to stumble upon these women by chance?

 

[jon bones]

I feel so low at the moment.

Maybe there's something horribly unattractive about me?

As a person I'm a lot more confident compared to how I was, but the reaction of girls as I pass them around college just hasn't changed at all.

Meh.

who gives a shit about what girls think? you don't need the validation of a woman to know you're awesome - because you are. as long as you aren't over the top fat and smelly, you're good to go. if you want to work on it, hit the gym more but as it is you should feel happy about yourself. you're the man now, dog.

Sometimes breaking up a long-term relationship to date someone can backfire on you horribly.

why would i break them apart to date the girl??? he deals with all the relationshipy stuff and i get it in. no harm, no foul.

This thread took an interesting turn with Jon giving advice here :lol Why do you do it though? The challenge/thrill? Or did you just happen to stumble upon these women by chance?

i don't actively go around doing this... it just happens sometimes. more often, recently. i'm not saying i'm some cassanova type either, i've just found a nice groove over the years and want to share my experience if it might help. i used to have no success with women when i was younger (too nice, not confident, complacent) and now i've rectified a lot of these common issues that i see on GAF often.

also, why did you capitalize my "i"s :lol

 

[RebornYeti]

It's not worth breaking up a friendship over.

I know that sounds a bit harsh, but I tried warning him about her and how she played my and my best friend.

Them being together is gonna make it super awkward for all of us. But I think I'mma talk some sense into him.

 

[jon bones]

ok you told him and he went for it anyway - no big deal

quit being a bitch and you and your boy can take it out over beers and street fighter

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

I feel so low at the moment.

Maybe there's something horribly unattractive about me?

As a person I'm a lot more confident compared to how I was, but the reaction of girls as I pass them around college just hasn't changed at all.

Meh.

But seriously, what expression do you have on your face? I don't think I'm particularly attractive but I get a few smiles a day (keep in mind, I smile first.)

Why would I break them apart to date the girl? He deals with all the relationship stuff and I get it in. No harm, no foul.

I guess we're different people, then I "broke them up" (watched them break up, her knowing I liked her, jumped in immediately) and hoooooooooooooo boy did that not work out

 

[RebornYeti]

ok you told him and he went for it anyway - no big deal

quit being a bitch and you and your boy can take it out over beers and street fighter

:lol

Ok.

EDIT: So, I left out the worst part, but on purpose. Let's just say that the rumor she spread pretty much ended a few of my best friend's friendships with various people. That's mostly the reason why I'm so against my good friend's relationship with her.

 

[Hydranockz]

ok you told him and he went for it anyway - no big deal

quit being a bitch and you and your boy can take it out over beers and street fighter

It's hardly being a bitch when a bro is at stake.

Bros before hoes.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

also, why did you capitalize my "i"s :lol

I cannot stand lower case ''i''s :lol No offense, but it just looks like complete shit Keep the advice coming though, lower case ''i''s or not heh.

But I think I'mma talk some sense into him.

Don't. To be honest it sounds like you would be doing it more because you feel awkward about it and perhaps butt hurt too, than anything else... Sometimes we think we want to 'protect' our friends, but in reality we're doing it because of a more selfish reason. Don't ruin your friendship over something like this (trying to convince him the girl is bad news will make him dislike you and if you keep it up, will ruin your friendship). Look at it this way, if she burns him later on, you'll friendship will come out stronger since you have something in common and can bitch about her while drinking

 

[RebornYeti]

It's hardly being a bitch when a bro is at stake.

Bros before hoes.

This man gets it. It's part of being a bro: you don't go for girls that played your friends in the past.... and also spread stupid rumors that ruined lives. :lol

Don't. To be honest it sounds like you would be doing it more because you feel awkward about it and perhaps butt hurt too, than anything else... Sometimes we think we want to 'protect' our friends, but in reality we're doing it because of a more selfish reason. Don't ruin your friendship over something like this (trying to convince him the girl is bad news will make him dislike you and if you keep it up, will ruin your friendship). Look at it this way, if she burns him later on, you'll friendship will come out stronger since you have something in common and can bitch about her while drinking

Well, this makes sense. So what should I do then? If I'm against their relationship, should I just forget about it and let it take it's course?

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

Well, this makes sense. So what should I do then? If I'm against their relationship, should I just forget about it and let it take it's course?

Unless he's in serious trouble, like planning marriage, yes. Also, i-t-s, scallawag.

 

[RebornYeti]

Unless he's in serious trouble, like planning marriage, yes. Also, i-t-s, scallawag.

Whoa, take it easy bro. Its going to be okay.

Anyway, thank's for the advice.

 

[Dragon]

So I've been dating this girl for two weeks, her birthday is the 15th, I'm assuming I can just take her out to dinner and not get her anything? I mean it's sort of early and we're not even officially anything at this point.

 

[Slayer-33]

So I've been dating this girl for two weeks, her birthday is the 15th, I'm assuming I can just take her out to dinner and not get her anything? I mean it's sort of early and we're not even officially anything at this point.

A rose (if you really like her) and a decent dinner.

 

[jon bones]

something more personal than a rose and something more interesting than dinner

 

[The Technomancer]

I guess we're different people, then I "broke them up" (watched them break up, her knowing I liked her, jumped in immediately) and hoooooooooooooo boy did that not work out

Did the same thing, had the same experience. Its a phenomenally bad idea.

 

[BladeWorker]

you wouldn't date a guy who smokes pot?

No way, no how. No exceptions.