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[Max@GC]

No way, no how. No exceptions.

Narrow minded much?

 

[Mr.City]

Blade's a straight edge.

 

[DualShadow]

I'm with BladeWorker, I wouldn't date a girl who smokes pot (or anything else).

 

[The Shadow]

EDIT: So, I left out the worst part, but on purpose. Let's just say that the rumor she spread pretty much ended a few of my best friend's friendships with various people. That's mostly the reason why I'm so against my good friend's relationship with her.

Out of shear curiosity, how old are you and your group there? This just seems like a lot of drama over nothing.

In any case, I'm with jon on this. Just let it go. If these guys were such good friends to you, you wouldn't have stopped talking to each other over a stupid bitch you've all known for a few weeks.

 

[Dragon]

Narrow minded much?

I don't think having preferences is narrow-minded. Just like some people prefer to date people of their own religion, etc.

 

[The Shadow]

I don't think having preferences is narrow-minded. Just like some people prefer to date people of their own religion, etc.

A preference isn't narrow minded. Making hard fast rules like "no smokers" or "only date PhDs" is. I say that out of my own experience because I had some of those same rules years ago and it really shrinks your pool. More often than not, I found myself breaking them and figured, fuck it, it's stupid.

Obviously some are more reasonable than others (No current crack addicts) but most of the rules people come up with are pretty dumb.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Bah. Barista girl has a boyfriend.

 

[-PXG-]

Bah. Barista girl has a boyfriend.

Does she make good coffee though?

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Does she make good coffee though?

Nothing earth shattering but its good.

 

[BladeWorker]

Narrow minded much?

Judgemental much?

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

A preference isn't narrow minded. Making hard fast rules like "no smokers" or "only date PhDs" is. I say that out of my own experience because I had some of those same rules years ago and it really shrinks your pool. More often than not, I found myself breaking them and figured, fuck it, it's stupid.

Obviously some are more reasonable than others (No current crack addicts) but most of the rules people come up with are pretty dumb.

not even remotely the same thing. one is a disgusting habit that'll kill you and the other is an educational requirement.

The last chick I was messing with over the summer smoked weed, and I couldn't take her seriously. It's extremely unattractive.

 

[The Shadow]

not even remotely the same thing. one is a disgusting habit that'll kill you and the other is an educational requirement.

The last chick I was messing with over the summer smoked weed, and I couldn't take her seriously. It's extremely unattractive.

They were examples. They weren't supposed to be the same.

 

[jamesinclair]

Narrow minded much?

So if you wouldnt date a 22 year old with 4 kids, could I say you're narrow minded?

A preference isn't narrow minded. Making hard fast rules like "no smokers" or "only date PhDs" is. I say that out of my own experience because I had some of those same rules years ago and it really shrinks your pool. More often than not, I found myself breaking them and figured, fuck it, it's stupid.

Obviously some are more reasonable than others (No current crack addicts) but most of the rules people come up with are pretty dumb.

"Only PHds" seems like quite the strawman.

"No smokers" is more akin to "no high school dropouts" and "no felons"


And considering smokers are in the minority, it's not really a limiting factor

 

[norinrad]

I saw this movie last night and i immediately though holy shit its GAF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Li2aEVrz04

 

[Mike Works]

Judgemental much?

Spoiler

for the record, i got nothing against people refusing to date smokers- pot or otherwise

 

[Nexus Zero]

This argument is silly. Everyone has rules. I will not date anyone over 45, a fat person, a Christian Muslim or Jew, a meth-head or a heroin junkie. Am I limiting my "pool" here? Of course.

But everyone has dealbrakers, and they should. I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't date me simply because I smoke weed (clearly), or because I play video games, or because I'm an asshole. You know what? Their loss.

And there's probably some 63 year old overweight Muslim junkie out there who's perfect for me, but I'd be wasting a lot of time trying to find her.

 

[The Shadow]

"Only PHds" seems like quite the strawman.

"No smokers" is more akin to "no high school dropouts" and "no felons"

And considering smokers are in the minority, it's not really a limiting factor

Eh.....mine wasn't a strawman. I knew a woman (briefly) who actually had that rule, it was based on a real life example. And besides, smokers akin to felons? High school dropouts? That's a bit of a stretch too. Strawman for strawman it would seem.

I don't believe in hard fast rules. I have preferences though, but to me that's different. Whatever.

Tell you what, we can argue circles about this so let's get back to the point of this thread.

I don't think selective rules like that will help at all if you're looking for advice. They'll be more of an excuse than anything else for guys to avoid social situations. It's the same as, "Oh I don't drink beer so going out socially to a club or bar is out of the question." It's an excuse not to take a risk in a social situation, or in this case, with a girl. When you have more experience, then establish your rules. But until then, how do you know what you'll want and don't want if you have very little experience at all to begin with?

 

[MrGame&Watch]

I'm sure this has been brought up before but it seems this thread pops up onto the front page late at night. Is it because at night we become horny love-sick bastards?

 

[demon]

"No smokers" is more akin to "no high school dropouts" and "no felons"

:lol :lol

 

[Nexus Zero]

Annoyingly got a text from a girl the night before our date that said "just to check, this isn't like a date or anything? Because I'm kind of seeing someone".

Not sure that's true as she's just got back in the country from a year long trip around the world where I met her (in North Korea funnily enough). Although I didn't use the word date in the original text I thought it was obvious as I said we should go out, just the two of us without our mutual friends who we've been out with a few times over the last fortnight.

Feel like this is the easy way out though because I was nervous as fuck and I never got to face that. I was pretty gutted Monday night and felt my thought patterns regress a year back to when I was serverly depressed about this stuff, I was thinking it was my own fault for "punching above my weight". When I realised what I was doing I gave myself the night to obsess about it and the next day it'd be air. And it was glad to have proof that my way of thinking really has changed at least and it won't yield to one rejection.


I went to a house party the other night and stormed it. I was stoned when I got there and usually that'd kill me but I was really chatty, and then I took a small amount of MDMA which I probably didn't need, was getting fuck-me looks left right and centre. More than one girl suggested getting a taxi home. I don't go to many house parties though so I don't know how I can transfer that result to other social situations? I gave as little of a fuck as usual but I guess only knowing one person there helped as it made me talk to everyone. But I feel like a dickhead going to a bar in the UK on my own like that.

 

[jamesinclair]

I don't think selective rules like that will help at all if you're looking for advice. They'll be more of an excuse than anything else for guys to avoid social situations. It's the same as, "Oh I don't drink beer so going out socially to a club or bar is out of the question." It's an excuse not to take a risk in a social situation, or in this case, with a girl. When you have more experience, then establish your rules. But until then, how do you know what you'll want and don't want if you have very little experience at all to begin with?

People always try to compare smoking with other activities...but it simply doesnt compare.

You can not drink and still go to a bar and order a soda, and the alcohol will not be an issue.

But if you don't like smoke, and the person you're going out with does....than that's an issue because you're going to smell it. It's not something they can do on the side. Even if theys tep outside for a minute...you'll smell it when they get back.

It's pretty easy to know you don't enjoy the smell of smoke, you hate how it lingers in clothing, and don't want cancer. You don't need much experience to come to that conclusion.

 

[-PXG-]

I'm sure this has been brought up before but it seems this thread pops up onto the front page late at night. Is it because at night we become horny love-sick bastards?

Or perhaps people have school and jobs too

 

[Aurora]

I'm completely for being selective with girls. Saying you wouldn't date a girl because she smoked, or because she was religious, is not being narrow-minded, it's saving you a lot of bullshit in the long run. If certain qualities do not appeal to you, why the fuck would you go for a girl that had them? It makes no sense and stinks of desperation.

 

[jon bones]

let's not turn this thread into a debate about smokers or drinkers or religion

might i just encourage you to think about the things you prefer and if you really believe they are true signs of character. i met a beautiful woman when i was younger and she was able to look past my pot smoking and i was able to look past her anti-pot mentality and we had a wonderful thriving relationship based on things that ended up being much more important (compatibility, family values, ambitions, etc).

that's it - now let's talk about this dude:

Saw a girl wearing cat ears on my way to class. She wasn't bad-looking either. I considered starting a conversation because she'd probably be into anime like me, but my kissless virgin self couldn't do it.

 

[Relix]

So, I've been talking to this girl for about 5 days now since meeting her a month ago. She's a pretty cute girl and smart to boot. It was just recently that we really started to chat a lot, exchanged numbers, etc. Well, it didn't take long for her to start telling me of things she "wants" in her life. We discussed those "wants" a bit and I felt indirectly she meant me. So... fast forward today... She tells me she's single because she left her boyfriend because she hated him because of the loser he was but pitied him. :lol

Now this is an awkward situation. I know she wants to keep talking with me, we are going out in a few days, etc. I never forced her to leave her BF, we were just talking and discussing a few things, though admittedly they got too heated up a few times so I guess there's some sexual tension.

My main problem is.... I really, really... don't want a relationship. I am focused on working, studying, doing exercises and random PC programming while going out with pals. I've always felt a girl holds you back in that sense. They require too much time. I do like the girl, a lot, and yadda, yadda, yadda, but I am pretty sure she dumped the guy because of me, and I don't want any commitment. What the hell am I supposed to do :lol I have no problem telling her I don't want anything but damn that would be cruel.

Plusses of this girl: She's a bit geeky. Plays WoW (not sure if this is a plus). says DKC2 is the best Donkey Kong game ever. Is really smart. Loves to travel. She's hot.

 

[jon bones]

"you don't lie, you manage people's expectations"

having said that, she likes the fact that you're not a bitch. you're a lion. take what's yours. "that" conversation shouldn't happen for a little while and when it does, you can outline what you're not looking for.

 

[Relix]

Yeah, I am just going to ride out until *that* moment comes. We are probably going out today, will see how it goes -P.

 

[Aurora]

Yeah I wouldn't worry about it now. At the moment it's still very much in casual territory. As long as you don't string her along then there's no problem. If the time comes when she speaks of more commitment then just be honest with her and say you like what you've got now and you're not looking for something very serious at the moment.

 

[Qwerty710710]

I have a failed girl story that I would like to talk about. This happened around mid September into early October. Even to this day it still bothers me.

Here's my story
One day I was bored so I decided to check out my okcupid account for the first time in a long time. I go on and I notice I got a message which I was surprsied too see, but at the same time I thought she must of wrote this during my long hiatus. But I was totally long it only had been about 36 hours if that, anyways all she put down was "You're cute" so I check her out her profile and my first impression was meh she's a bit curvy and relatively average looking there were some pics that she looked pretty cute but I wasn't too attrative to her. But I'm not gonna lie she did a nice ass to her though. So all I put down was "why thank you very much" and thats it I knew that was probably a dick move but at the time I wasn't too interested in her. The next day I decided to go back and put some new pics of myself, and I get another e-mail from her which I was surprsed because I thought she would of backed away. I don't completely remember what she put down for her second message (since I got rid of all the messages that we wrote to each other) but it was something along the lines saying how was my week going something like that. Once again I gave another 6 word repsonse trying to get her off of me. Still the next day she still wrote back to me saying what I like to do, hobbies, and all that good shit. So I finally decided maybe fate is trying to tell me something she sounded cooler than most women I've talked to. I went to my good friend and he helped me to write my first serious message to her because I really never delt with online dating so I didn't really know what to put. For the 3-4 days we were writing to each other at least 2-3 times a day. I think it was on a Wednesday was when I finally said we need to exchange numbers so I gave her mine first. Like 2 hours later I get a text from a random number I knew it was her. She was like hey this is Jen wanted to know how are you doing and some other shit. I text her back like 5 mins later than I get nothing so maybe she working and is very busy at the moment. That day I was in NYC for the whole day just about so during that time maybe she would of answered me back, when I finally got to the bus stop to go back home I checked my cell and still no answer I'm like WTF. Maybe she didn't get my text so I decided to call her, and she picked up. We talked for a good 30 mins but I was like I'm sorry I have to cut this short because I have to get in my bus and she understood.

The evening while I was playing call of duty I get another text from her saying whats up and asking about my day again. The same shit happned again I waited another hour and sent her another text and no reply. I was on the phone with my friend he told me to call her again but I wasn't really up for it because I don't want to be creepy but he talked me into it. I called her again and she picked up, and this time we talked for a long ass time at least 4 hours. Time just flew by that night I thought it would be impossable for me to talk to a chick for that long. But we did get disconnect a few times that night but we were able to commuincate again. We talked about a whole bunch of different of topics enough to last us the whole night apperently. I did made her laugh on numorous occasions, it seemed like everything was going pretty well. I did mention to her that I was going to western PA that weekend so it might be hard for us to talk but she seemed ok with it. But I think I started to fuck up. Late saturday night I tired calling her but I got to her voice mail and left a meassage but I got cut off half way because the signal was so poor over there. I wrote a facebook message instead. Sunday night after I settled down from my trip I called her again and she did pick up. We talked about the weekend but it only lasted for 30 mins, and that was the last time I talked to her. I never heard from her again she just vanshied out of thin air. I was very annoyed, dissapointed, and depressed at the same time. I know I made mistakes I think I was a bit too negative on myself espically during that one night, I probably should of never contacted her since I told her it was going to be hard for me to talk to her. I think I got too confrotable with her I might of said too much about myself I should of held back on some stuff until I knew her better. Plus I think I should of never contaacted with her in the first place because I was really never into her at first. But the thing was that she kept showing interest in me which hooked me in.

I just want to move on already but it's pretty hard since it ended so fast with no explaination at all. I just wish she would of told me this wan't going to work out instead of leaving me hanging.

 

[thcsquad]

Smoking is for factories, not for people

I'd make a nu metal comment, but I'll save it. All I have to say is you sound pretty uptight and I'm not surprised if women can sense it.

 

[jon bones]

all I put down was "why thank you very much" and thats it I knew that was probably a dick move but at the time I wasn't too interested in her.

brilliant brilliant move - do you see how well being a dick and not caring works to garner interest?

you texted a girl a little bit for a few days and nothing came of it

why did i read this entire thing? you never met her, you talked to her for a little bit and she lost interest. it's not the end of the world. you probably should have made a plan to meet up with her before she lost interest. make strong moves.

 

[captmcblack]

Ehh, there's no reason to feel like you have to "move on" from a girl you never even saw in the first place. Nothing happened for you to move on from. Beer, whiskey and wings with the bros, then back on the pond and cast more lines.

On to the next one.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

On to the next one.

Reminds me of Bdizzle's(?) texts he posted in the last thread. Some woman had that under every text message :lol So weird.

 

[Aurora]

God damn Qwerty, that's a depressing story.

You were clinging on way too much to this girl. It was you making all the moves, you contacting her everytime. No wonder she went running in the other direction.

You didn't even meet this girl, how could you get so attached? It's a really unattractive thing that will repel girls.

I realise it's harsh to word it like this but it's the truth. You placed far too much importance in her and you hadn't even met her yet. You should have suggested meeting up during your 4 hour phone call. Chances are, if a girl is willing to speak for 4 hours on the phone she's also willing to go for a coffee with you.

The trick with online dating is to get out of the online phase as quickly as possible. The longer you stay in the e-mail/text/call zone the shorter the fuse of attraction will be.

Next time you're in a similar situation don't centre your whole life on the girl. You can't be staring at your phone every 10 minutes worrying about why she still hasn't texted you. Do you think she's doing the same back? Of course not, she's out there enjoying her life and keeping busy. Just keep it very casual until you actually meet the girl to avoid any bullshit like this.

 

[-PXG-]

It feels so weird talking to my ex. I mean, I'm not angry at her, I don't miss her or have any feelings for her. What I'm trying to say, is that its odd that there is nothing odd between us...if that makes sense. Once I break up with a girl, I cut off all contact and erase her from my life. Perhaps this is different because:

1) She broke up with me
2) We were together for a long time
3) We were in love with each other
4) Our break up was relatively clean and drama free

She's sincerely and genuinely happy for me that I've moved on and seeing other girls. She was always a kind hearted person. I guess that is why I fell in love with her to begin with. As much as I don't miss her at this point, I do miss having someone. But I'm not just going to haphazardly jump into another relationship. I want to take the next one slow. I'm still adjusting to being single. It has its perks, but I like having that sense of loyalty and commitment that you get with a relationship

 

[captmcblack]

It feels so weird talking to my ex. I mean, I'm not angry at her, I don't miss her or have any feelings for her. What I'm trying to say, is that its odd that there is nothing odd between us...if that makes sense. Once I break up with a girl, I cut off all contact and erase her from my life. Perhaps this is different because:

1) She broke up with me
2) We were together for a long time
3) We were in love with each other
4) Our break up was relatively clean and drama free

It shouldn't be odd at all.
I for one believe that people you love are people you'll care deeply about forever. It's all about controlling how you act on those feelings though. Just because you still dig your ex and you still talk every so often/don't have beef doesn't mean you should get all weird and be stalking her FB/Twitter, asking her friends about her and blowing up her phone. I've got an ex from a few years ago like that - I still love that girl, and we're still cool/hang out once every few months. I just have too much pride to be following her around like a lost dog...and too many other chicks I'm seeing to need to think about her at length :lol

 

[-PXG-]

It shouldn't be odd at all.
I for one believe that people you love are people you'll care deeply about forever. It's all about controlling how you act on those feelings though. Just because you still dig your ex and you still talk every so often/don't have beef doesn't mean you should get all weird and be stalking her FB/Twitter, asking her friends about her and blowing up her phone. I've got an ex from a few years ago like that - I still love that girl, and we're still cool/hang out once every few months. I just have too much pride to be following her around like a lost dog...and too many other chicks I'm seeing to need to think about her at length :lol

I guess it's the case of "I love you, but not in love with you" phenomenon. I always thought that was a bunch of bullshit and didn't make any sense, until I experienced it first hand. I suppose I feel the same way. Sure, I care about her and want the best for her, but I'm not emotionally attached or invested in her any longer. Her happiness and comfort isn't my responsibility any more.

 

[Ezalc]

So how do you talk sexy to a chick without seeming like a total creeper and without being too boring?

 

[Aurora]

It depends on the situation. Are you guys talking on the phone? On the internet? In a bar? The methods really depend on the setting.

 

[Ezalc]

It's mostly through the internet.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Send me her contact information and I'll get you a date. I'll also need your full name, address, social security number and any passwords you think might help me further your cause.

 

[-PXG-]

It's mostly through the internet.

I don't want to make this a habit, but read the OP first for general tips. Ask us for specific and more detailed advice.

Send me her contact information and I'll get you a date. I'll also need your full name, address, social security number and any passwords you think might help me further your cause.

Yeah, feel free to give me any banking, credit card and stock investment info you have too. Thanks.

Spoiler

please don't

 

[Ezalc]

Right, if that's all you want I have to say that you'll probably be a bit disappointed.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

On a more serious note, you'll have to be a bit more concrete if you want solid advice. Internet can be IM, email, webcam, whatever. How did you meet? Online dating? How many messages have you exchanged, what was in them and so on. I don't think anyone can give you a step by step how to with the little information you've given...

edit: -PXG- got it covered. Damn stealth edit

edit 2: You even triple edited the one above! :lol

 

[-PXG-]

On a more serious note, you'll have to be a bit more concrete if you want solid advice. Internet can be IM, email, webcam, whatever. How did you meet? Online dating? How many messages have you exchanged, what was in them and so on. I don't think anyone can give you a step by step how to with the little information you've given...

Like I said, he needs to be more specific. If it's just general advice, the OP has TONS of it. But unless we have more information, we can't really help.

EDIT

Making me edit yet ANOTHER post...GOD!

EDIT 2

No, I made two changes in one edit. Derp.

 

[Ezalc]

The point isn't the girl herself honestly, it's more that I get called too innocent. And that pisses me the fuck off. So that's the basic problem here.

 

[Aurora]

I guess the best route to take is to bring up sex, which shouldn't be that hard. You'd obviously have to have been talking with the girl for a while first. You could ask her if she's ever had sex outdoors, if she's ever kissed a girl, if she's dressed up, blah blah there are loads of questions you can ask. The important thing is to keep it playful and avoid any awkwardness or creepness. If she doesn't seem to respond well to this kind of talk then back down immediately and act like nothing happened.

Most girls will respond well though providing there's a playfulness and a lightness to the discussion.

 

[RebornYeti]

Out of shear curiosity, how old are you and your group there? This just seems like a lot of drama over nothing.

In any case, I'm with jon on this. Just let it go. If these guys were such good friends to you, you wouldn't have stopped talking to each other over a stupid bitch you've all known for a few weeks.

I think you have misread my story.

To put it as short as possible, I start liking girl, she likes me back. She likes my best friend at the same time so we're both like, "Better check dat ho!" Then she starts spreading rumors about how my friend took advantage of her, which is false. So, my other good friend starts talking to her, they go out. Me and best friend are like, "Wut? Betrayal! He broke the bro code!" And the other friend is like, "No way we're in love she didn't do anything". Then he realized that we didn't like her, so he's like, "Girl, let's break up." And that was that.

I agree it was drama over nothing, and we're all laughing about it now. All this happened in a 2 week time frame. Yeah!

 

[whitehawk]

GOD DAMMIT!

Okay GAF so, fucking hell. My girlfriend is over, and my parents are out. We start making out and head to my room, and I know what's going to happen. Everything going great. I'm psyched, because I'm going to lose my virginity. Finally. However... I couldn't get it up. I don't understand why. Well, obviously it was because I was nervous, but ugh. Why now. I get random boners in class that wont go away, why couldn't that happen here. She tried giving me a handjob, only ever got me semihard. Ugh.

Basically GAF, how can I avoid this in the future? Hopefully this won't happen again, seeing as I should be a lot less nervous. But, any tips? This can't happen again.

 

[DualShadow]

Just need to relax man, don't think to much about it and just go with the flow next time.

Easier said then done though.