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[Joel Was Right]

I've been involved in an emotional rollercoaster with two girls over the past 4 and a half years (one after the other). I've been summing up the strength to say goodbye to the girl I loved for the past 10 months whilst she was dating others. Many painful nights and fighting against myself whether to reply to her messages. Finally did it. It's been awful as she's often cut me out without a second thought. But finally did it, and quite happy about things now.

 

[jon bones]

good, 2 girls over the last 4.5 years? that's way too few unless you were in relationships with both of them one after another (which clearly isn't the case). i'm glad you've cut them out of your life - you're still young and you don't need to waste your time on women who aren't interested.

 

[Mr.City]

i'm still really not sold on this online dating thing - i hardly ever hear positive anecdotes about it and online chatting doesn't sharpen your social skills like actually going out and talking to people will.

especially this ridiculousness posted above - flying out to meet a woman for the first time? seems like a very, very poor value proposition

I've had okay experiences with it. In my experience, I meet plenty of women who want to fuck within 2-3 dates and then never call/not see me anymore or are isolated, socially ungraceful an don't seem like they want to be on the date. So, basically horny chicks and dead fish. Granted, some of this could be my fault, but the ones who want to fuck seem like they want to have a good time.

The biggest issue for me is that most of these women live in the city, and I live in the suburbs, so it can be a pain in the ass to see them. Most don't have cars (who would in Chicago), so I would only see them once or twice a week at max.

 

[Mr.City]

I keep seeing the same thing in this thread: guys who "fall in love" with women. I don't understand how you guys can wear your hearts on your sleeve like that, especially with women who seem to be fucking with you. Listen, there's a piece of advice out there for getting over that 'love of your life'. It's called Fuck Ten Other Women.

Granted, I haven't had sex with ten women this year, but as you meet, flirt, and ultimately seduce other women, you begin to learn that there are many kind, loving, and fun women out there and that you shouldn't be sitting home in a depression because just one of them doesn't want to see you anymore.

Now, some of you fellas (and ladies) might think that this advice is chauvinist. Before you do that, look at some of the poor souls in this thread. We got guys flying out to meet women they have never met before, men having panic attacks at night as they devise the perfect strategy for asking out that office temp, men having mental breakdowns after they get shot down. Women are special, but not so special that you should base your life worth on them.

 

[jon bones]

Listen, there's a piece of advice out there for getting over that 'love of your life'. It's called Fuck Ten Other Women.

tried and true method. maybe we should put that brilliant hemingway quote in the OP

my advice is Fuck Ten Other Hotter Women - banging fatties to get over your ex will only reduce your self worth. getting over an 8? gotta bang at least an 8 next time.

 

[Entropia]

i'm still really not sold on this online dating thing - i hardly ever hear positive anecdotes about it and online chatting doesn't sharpen your social skills like actually going out and talking to people will.

especially this ridiculousness posted above - flying out to meet a woman for the first time? seems like a very, very poor value proposition

Yeah, I understand where you are coming from. Her and I "clicked" when we started chatting, we even got on webcam together to chat, etc. I guess it became a bit of a "too much, too fast" deal and she got kinda freaked out, and apparently had done long distance relationships the past 2 years and didn't want to do it anymore.

On the bright(?) side, she is going to be down in the area that I'm currently in around Xmas time and we're going to go out for lunch or something, a proper date if you would. I think that me going to visit her for the weekend was a bit much for her, and I understand that entirely. If this doesn't work out, then I'm honestly never bothering with an online thing again. Way too much bullshit.

And to be honest, it's better than my last endeavour... chatted with a girl for over a year. I fly to see her, 1) She looked quite frumpy compared to the pic she had sent me, 2) She tells me she thinks we should just be friends, 3) Doesn't even hang out with me the last day I was there.

I agree that chatting online is MUCH easier than chatting in person. I would've never met this girl or had intimated a relationship if I had known her in real life.

I think the most important thing coming out of this, is that I'm still positive, and I'm not moping over it,

 

[norinrad]

Now, some of you fellas (and ladies) might think that this advice is chauvinist. Before you do that, look at some of the poor souls in this thread. We got guys flying out to meet women they have never met before, men having panic attacks at night as they devise the perfect strategy for asking out that office temp, men having mental breakdowns after they get shot down. Women are special, but not so special that you should base your life worth on them.

This really fucking hits home. Its time we grow some balls

 

[Eggo]

If this doesn't work out, then I'm honestly never bothering with an online thing again. Way too much bullshit.

Your problem isn't online dating. It's that you chose to pursue a long distance relationship with a stranger, which isn't healthy. You set expectations too high when you're spending time 'dating' an idealized person whom you haven't met in person yet. Why don't you date someone within 15 mins of where you live?

 

[Entropia]

Your problem isn't online dating. It's that you chose to pursue a long distance relationship with a stranger, which isn't healthy. You set expectations too high when you're spending time 'dating' an idealized person whom you haven't met in person yet. Why don't you date someone within 15 mins of where you live?

It's not necessarily pursuing a long distance relationship. For all intents and purposes, we just chatted, thought things clicked and were going to meet to see what we were like in person and to see if things clicked there as well.

And right now, I'm in a bit of a shitty situation with my job/finances, so I would've been able to relocate to be closer to her if things went that way.

I live in a really rural area. The closest sizable city is 45 minutes way. Meeting someone here would, not be pretty.

 

[Max@GC]

Hi Dr. GAF. I figured out that I only have some decent sense of self-worth if I achieve something. Goes back to how I was raised I guess...being only liked when I was good at something (material worth) not for my mere existence. So I constantly get afraid when someone likes me because of who I am...in my mind it makes no sense because I keep asking myself why the hell this person likes me cuz I purposely didn´t do something special/material to earn that persons sympathy. How can I fix this unhealthy behaviour?

 

[-PXG-]

I keep seeing the same thing in this thread: guys who "fall in love" with women. I don't understand how you guys can wear your hearts on your sleeve like that, especially with women who seem to be fucking with you. Listen, there's a piece of advice out there for getting over that 'love of your life'. It's called Fuck Ten Other Women.

Granted, I haven't had sex with ten women this year, but as you meet, flirt, and ultimately seduce other women, you begin to learn that there are many kind, loving, and fun women out there and that you shouldn't be sitting home in a depression because just one of them doesn't want to see you anymore.

Now, some of you fellas (and ladies) might think that this advice is chauvinist. Before you do that, look at some of the poor souls in this thread. We got guys flying out to meet women they have never met before, men having panic attacks at night as they devise the perfect strategy for asking out that office temp, men having mental breakdowns after they get shot down. Women are special, but not so special that you should base your life worth on them.

Good stuff City.

My girlfriend of over two years, broke up with me about a month ago or so. I loved her and cared deeply for her. It really hurt at first. I didn't want to lose her. I wanted to salvage what we had. However, through her, my friends, family, GAF and my own inner soul searching, I realized that it would have caused too much emotional heartache and would have been a colossal waste of time to deal with her any longer. At least there wasn't any drama and we both got the closure we wanted.

I hate not having a girl though. I feel incomplete without one, no matter how well my life is going at that given moment of time. I'm lonely, but I'm not crying over my ex anymore. Talking and hanging out with new girls has definitely helped me move forward and stay positive. This one girl I've been talking to is incredible. She's the one I talked to all night the other day. Like I said before, she's one bad bitch. We have so much in common, it's not even funny. It's almost scary :lol

I'm taking her out this Saturday. She's leaving it up to me to plan everything. I really like her a lot, and I get the feeling she likes me too. We get along really well and chemistry (so far) is excellent. We're both taking it slow and seeing where things go though. As much as I like her, I don't want to rush into anything and get emotionally attached too soon. I'll be cool if she just wants to be friends, but I'll be even more satisfied if, eventually, she wants to be my girlfriend. But for now, I'm just enjoying her company and conversations as is.

EDIT

What I'm trying to say is that the attitude that I have, both towards myself and girls alike, did not develop over night. I'm the way I am because of what I've done. I'm able to meet, befriend, converse, date, touch, kiss, fuck and break up with girls the way I do because I've practiced and honed my skills over time.

I've had a whole bunch of blunders, failures and mishaps with females. Every guy does. And yes, even players. My best friend was a player (now he's engaged). He didn't get pussy every day. He'd have a bad night too. But he learned from his mistakes and didn't let shit phase him. I learned a lot from him, my other friends (mainly female) and of course, through experience and actually DOING stuff. If you don't take initiative and don't take that first step, trust me, you will NEVER make any progress. You'll never learn anything, you'll never go on a date, you'll never have a girlfriend, you'll never get pussy. Doing nothing will get you just that: Nothing.

Don't be scared. You have little or nothing to lose. Take the that plunge, take that chance. Go for it. Who knows, you might come out a winner. If not, there's plenty more opportunities out there. But they won't come knocking at your door. You have to go to them.

 

[Dabookerman]

Question chaps.
I shall present it in this simple scenario:

You go out hungry for some vaginal fluids. You sit in a train. Girl opposite you smiles at your hungry looking face. You grimace back. She clearly cannot take it anymore and motions with her finger to come hither. You grab her hand and pull her off the train (while it is still moving). You take her to the nearest park, and unleash the man beast on her as she moans with ecstasy. Her tummy rumbles from the curry she has had last night.

My simple question is this. In a situation just like this, or similar, do you guys not worry about the spread of STDs? I know Condoms, yeah yeah. But what if she says no to condoms? Is it a straight, no? What if she wishes to blow your todger like a trumpet?

In short, what?

 

[jon bones]

C-

 

[Mike Works]

And yeah, anything long distance is a big no no. So to any of you even thinking about it, don't bother. Let me say that again. DON'T BOTHER WITH LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS.

I'm in a long distance relationship right now. Are you telling me that I have to end it?

 

[Foob]

Online stuff is hit or miss. My results in the past have been alright. Some good some down right awful. But I think that applies to everyone. And yeah, anything long distance is a big no no. So to any of you even thinking about it, don't bother. Let me say that again. DON'T BOTHER WITH LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS.

This is wrong. Ive been in a long distance relationship for three years and everything is going swimmingly.

 

[Yaweee]

I have numerous friends that eventually married long-distance girlfriends/boyfriends. Yes, they're more difficult to manage, but it isn't such a problem to make all of them bad ideas.

 

[jon bones]

almost all the girlfriends i fuck are in long-distance relationships

just saying

 

[kiryogi]

LDRs can work. But they require a ton of effort on both ends. If one side isn't willing to compromise, it's not gonna work.

 

[-PXG-]

Question chaps.
I shall present it in this simple scenario:

You go out hungry for some vaginal fluids. You sit in a train. Girl opposite you smiles at your hungry looking face. You grimace back. She clearly cannot take it anymore and motions with her finger to come hither. You grab her hand and pull her off the train (while it is still moving). You take her to the nearest park, and unleash the man beast on her as she moans with ecstasy. Her tummy rumbles from the curry she has had last night.

My simple question is this. In a situation just like this, or similar, do you guys not worry about the spread of STDs? I know Condoms, yeah yeah. But what if she says no to condoms? Is it a straight, no? What if she wishes to blow your todger like a trumpet?

In short, what?

The fuck? :lol

I'm in a long distance relationship right now. Are you telling me that I have to end it?

Depends. What are the circumstances?

EDIT

You guys seem to disagree. That's fine. I've been in a couple and they didn't work out too well. But hey, that's just me. Someone's anecdote isn't necessarily applicable to everyone else. To each his own I suppose.

 

[Mike Works]

Depends. What are the circumstances?

What do you mean "depends"? This was your post:

And yeah, anything long distance is a big no no. So to any of you even thinking about it, don't bother. Let me say that again. DON'T BOTHER WITH LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS.

You need to think about some of the things you say before you say them. This is a thread focused toward people who have little to no relationship experience, and flat out telling them to never bother with long distance relationships is extremely detrimental.

 

[SRG01]

Okay guys, I need your vote for a second date. I could take her for mini-golfing (fun and light) or I could take her to the legislature grounds for some Christmas orchestral music and decorations (more intimate).

Thoughts? Note that, again, she's kind of shy at times too.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

I'd go with the mini-golf. Let's you get to interact with her more. The other one would be nice for a more serious relationship or if you know for sure she's really into that kinda stuff.

Also, LDRs are fine, but I'd say they're clearly inferior to non LDRs.

 

[-PXG-]

What do you mean "depends"? This was your post:


You need to think about some of the things you say before you say them. This is a thread focused toward people who have little to no relationship experience, and flat out telling them to never bother with long distance relationships is extremely detrimental.

Come on man, don't be dense. I was asking you to explain your relationship. Elaborate. Go into detail. What are the specifics? How did you meet? In person? Online? Did she move away? Studying abroad? How long have you been together? Have you met her in person? If, so how many times? How often do you see her? How do you communicate? How far away does she live? Another city? Another state? Other side of your country? Another country altogether or across an ocean? I asked a very simple question. Open ended yes, but not complex at all. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here. Perhaps I'm wrong and you're right. Shit.

Again, IN MY OPINION, long distance relationships don't work in the long run. In no way am I implying that my thoughts or experience trumps anyone else's. If they work for you, great. But from what I've been through (and from a lot of people I know), they don't. I was just curious as to why yours (apparently) works and why you think they're not so bad. I don't know, maybe I want you to convince me I was wrong and open my eyes to something I fail to see. I'm more than open to listen to what others have to say.

And for the record, I think I'm very sincere and put a lot of thought into what I say. I don't want to give anyone shit advice or anything that will screw someone over.

 

[EzLink]

.

 

[Mr.City]

You guys should define long distance. Like, what? 20-30 miles?

But really LDRs can be cool, and I'm a little envious of you guys who found women who are willing to be in them. I've had most of my relationships burn out this past year because I would be able to see them once or twice a week.

 

[Mike Works]

Come on man, don't be dense. I was asking you to explain your relationship.

But that's exactly my point- you asked me to elaborate on mine only after I called you out on your all-encompassing statement.

And I'm sorry, but it's not your opinion that long distance relationships don't work in the long run; that's just factually wrong. It can be your opinion that SOME or MOST long distance relationship don't work out, but not all.

I'm not saying that your posts haven't been sincere; I'm saying that you- and everyone else- really need to put thought into what you're saying and how you're phrasing it. Again, there are people in this thread that have never kissed a girl. People who don't know the first thing about relationships.

We have to be very careful when it comes to what we say in here, because there are a lot of impressionable people who literally have nothing to build off of. A lot of people take what you or I say to heart, and stating that all long distance relationships should be avoided because they never work can really fuck them over in both the short and long term.

Now all that being said, I suggest not getting into a long distance relationship. Though it's not a golden rule, I think it's very important to start off a relationship in person. Things like webcams and Skype and social networking have really changed a lot of the online dating scene over the past decade, but I still think you need to be with the person.. in person.

The majority of successful long distance relationships I've known didn't start out as such. A few of them did, but most of them were normal relationships that turned into long distance ones because of work or school. That's my situation right now- I moved cities to go to a university. Thankfully, the move wasn't very far, and thus it only takes about 7 hours to get from one city to another. My girlfriend and I have been really committed to making it work, and so far, it actually hasn't been too hard. We see each other every two weeks at most, and we both make an effort to visit the other's city. So far, so good.

But my personal example isn't really important in the overall scheme of things. Neither is anyone else's. Everyone should keep that in mind when dispensing all-encompassing advice.

 

[-PXG-]

But that's exactly my point- you asked me to elaborate on mine only after I called you out on your all-encompassing statement.

And I'm sorry, but it's not your opinion that long distance relationships don't work in the long run; that's just factually wrong. It can be your opinion that SOME or MOST long distance relationship don't work out, but not all.

I'm not saying that your posts haven't been sincere; I'm saying that you- and everyone else- really need to put thought into what you're saying and how you're phrasing it. Again, there are people in this thread that have never kissed a girl. People who don't know the first thing about relationships.

We have to be very careful when it comes to what we say in here, because there are a lot of impressionable people who literally have nothing to build off of. A lot of people take what you or I say to heart, and stating that all long distance relationships should be avoided because they never work can really fuck them over in both the short and long term.

Now all that being said, I suggest not getting into a long distance relationship. Though it's not a golden rule, I think it's very important to start off a relationship in person. Things like webcams and Skype and social networking have really changed a lot of the online dating scene over the past decade, but I still think you need to be with the person.. in person.

The majority of successful long distance relationships I've known didn't start out as such. A few of them did, but most of them were normal relationships that turned into long distance ones because of work or school. That's my situation right now- I moved cities to go to a university. Thankfully, the move wasn't very far, and thus it only takes about 7 hours to get from one city to another. My girlfriend and I have been really committed to making it work, and so far, it actually hasn't been too hard. We see each other every two weeks at most, and we both make an effort to visit the other's city. So far, so good.

But my personal example isn't really important in the overall scheme of things. Neither is anyone else's. Everyone should keep that in mind when dispensing all-encompassing advice.

Well I assumed (perhaps wrongfully) that you were capable of going into details without me having to break it down and ask specific questions. Yeah I know, that sounds really condescending on my part. I don't intend it to be that way, it's just the best way I could illustrate my point. So sorry in advance. I'm not trying to be a dick :lol

Yes, my statement was very broad. My mistake. I should have gone into more detail myself. But, as much as you can claim LDRs work, I can make claims they don't. If you can show me hard evidence and statistics that show the facts, I'd love to see them. I don't care if I'm right or wrong. I'm not trying to prove you wrong either. I'd love to know the truth as much as you do. Until then, I'm interested in hearing from other people as to what they think about long distance relationships, whether they agree with me or not. I know that there is a strong possibility that I'm wrong, or partially wrong. Hell, I even admitted that my opinion is purely based off my personal experience and the testimonials of my friends. Then again, this whole thing subjective. Maybe there isn't a right or wrong course of action here.

I never once attempted to make opinion into fact at all. Pretty much every subject in this thread is grounded in anecdote, opinion and personal experience. How come those topics aren't being questioned or debated as much as this one? Some folks say wait a couple dates to kiss a girl, while others suggest that you do it on the first date. Such advice and responses are inevitable by such an eclectic and diverse community.

You guys should define long distance. Like, what? 20-30 miles?

But really LDRs can be cool, and I'm a little envious of you guys who found women who are willing to be in them. I've had most of my relationships burn out this past year because I would be able to see them once or twice a week.

Hmmm...interesting point.

My ex lived about 40 minutes away from me by car. I'd see her at least two or three days in a given week. Personally, I don't consider that a LDR. Then again, everyone has their own definition. Numbers can be quite arbitrary. Some people think 10 miles too far while others have no problem traveling 100. I think if it takes more than an hour to see your girl and you only see her once a week (if that) then it's long distance. Now some people might think that is absurd. Take it however you will. However, I can understand if someone was studying abroad for a semester or had a job where they'd have to be away for a few weeks or months. I can excuse that. But for me, being that far away, all the time, is unacceptable. If it works for you, cool. I tried that shit in the past and it didn't work out. Been there, done that. Never doing it again.

Despite having the words "long" and "distance" in it's name, there is more to put into account than mere distance alone. I had a roommate who'd go to CT pretty much every weekend to see his girl. So like me, he saw her for two or three days, every week. It's not as if he only saw her once every couple of months. So, I guess that wasn't a LDR either.

I don't know though, there are so many factors that one can put into consideration. Like I said earlier, it really depends on the specifics of the relationship. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough about that when I first brought this subject up. I'm curious to find out what GAF considers long distance though...

EDIT

Honestly, long distance relationships can be a topic and thread of it's own. But don't feel like your opinion isn't important and would fall on deaf ears. Feel free to discuss it. I think it's safe to say that everyone here is interested in knowing what others think and that no one here wants to put someone else down or make them look stupid.

 

[grap3fruitman]

Okay, if it isn't your appearance than its something else. Maybe its your approach? Maybe its your clothing style? Maybe your clothing style doesn't match your personality?

I'm going to guess that it's not superficial things like clothing, but rather the fact that I don't know how to talk to or approach women since I never learned these things during the normal learning period (junior/high school). Just a guess though. Oh, and it's not that I was staying away from girls, it's just that I did get shot down every time there as well.

And like what other people here have said, your attitude is shit. Your unwillingness to acknowledge your poor attitude and to change it will continue to be a huge hurdle for you to ever succeed with women.

What are you talking about? I've acknowledged it. Even in the post you quoted, I acknowledged it. I just don't know how to go from horribly depressed to suddenly happy. Meds? While I didn't feel as depressed, I tended to feel nothing instead which then felt weird. They also made me gain 60lbs that I haven't been able to drop in the two years I've been going to the gym. That, in turn, made me feel even worse and more self-conscious.

 

[Mr.City]

GM, you should ask yourself what you want in life. You seem to be adrift in the current of life.

 

[JumpJeff84]

I pop my collar to you good sir

EDIT:

Yo whoomp put me onto some smooth jams. My R&B game is lacking like a mahfucka. Right now I got this playlist, but I know it could be way better:

Your playlist didn't show up for whatever reason...

Try these....too lazy to post links, but you should be able to get check 'em all out on Youtube.

Kleeer- Intimate Connection
Detroit Emeralds- Baby Let Me Take You
Jodeci- Feenin'
Rose Royce- I Wanna Get Next to You
Marvin Gaye- Come Live With Me Angel
Four Mints- Row My Boat

Just a few off the top off my head. I tend to be more into the 60s-80s R&B. As far as 90s onwards, I pretty much stick with Jodeci. If you don't have it, be sure to get their album 'The Show, The After Party, The Hotel'. It's my favorite R&B album of that decade by far, and I've boned down to it many a time.

 

[Hydranockz]

LDRs are not for everyone in the same way that having an open relationship isn't for everyone. It takes two people that clearly understand what both of ye want.

Every gf I've ever had lives further away than the last one. Started off with a gf outside of the city and now my current is approx 8,000km away.

And as such with life there is an equally true story about a LDR that did'nt work. It's like relationships follow the same rules as modern physics or something!

 

[EzLink]

.

 

[Mr.City]

It makes you sounds like a fool. I suggest you sober up and try again. Mike Works has a good profile.

 

[EzLink]

It makes you sounds like a fool. I suggest you sober up and try again. Mike Works has a good profile.

:lol

Fair enough! That I'll do. But could you possible be more specific on what makes me sound like a fool? Is it just because I didn't follow the conventional pattern of how these things are typically written? I feel like the way I wrote it will serve the purpose of keeping away girls I wouldn't be interested in in the first place

 

[JumpJeff84]

Can I get some feedback on the self-summary I just drunkenly created for my new OKC profile?

"HELLO ONLINE DATING WORLD! I'm [EzLink], the ginger you never knew you wanted (until now)

I'm probably a whole lot different than the majority of the people you already know. So different, in fact, that encapsulating myself in logically coherent paragraphs would be much less effective than giving you a rundown via quick, disjointed single sentences.

I am zany. I like the fact that I'm often able to make people laugh. I value treating other human beings kindly over most other things in life. I have two adopted sisters from China who are, far and away, the coolest Asians this country has ever seen. Metal music is my legal drug of choice. Working hard is cool, but so is lazily enjoying the comforts of life. Partying is almost always a better decision than staying in. Over thinking things far beyond what is reasonable or necessary is one of my strong suits. Three things I genuinely hate in the world are intolerance, ketchup, and the Russian mafia. And finally, the one thing that would make me happiest is to find a girl to share the rest of my adventures in life with!"

Two things to keep in mind... one, OKC has a shit ton of other "essay" portions, so there is plenty not covered here that I address in the rest of my profile. And two, while this is potentially very stupid (as I'm drunk), I thought it may be best to attempt creating a profile when I'm in my most confident state of mind

Thanks for any advice!

My opinion? You sound like a nice guy. Too nice. There's absolutely no sexuality in your profile. That's not good. You could swap the word 'girl' for the word 'guy' in your profile and it could have been one written by a female.

Not trying to be harsh, but you seem like you're coming off as 'funny guy'. Not 'funny guy that I wanna fuck' but just 'funny guy'. Hope that makes sense.

 

[EzLink]

.

 

[JumpJeff84]

Right. My humor is both kind of unique, and one of my strong suits IRL, so I wanted that to come across (not saying that I did a good enough job of it here, I'll reassess in the morning). Aren't you supposed to project an aura of fun though? How are you supposed to create a sense of "sexuality" through a few sentences online without seeming like a tool?

In fact, advice here could maybe help me in the real world too. I typically have the exact same persona at parties when I'm interacting with girls as what you described. The funny guy that ladies have a fun time talking to. I thought that was a good thing! I throw in some kino too, which I thought would be a good enough balance, but do I need to actually SAY things that seem "sexual"? To be honest I don't know how to do that without seeming like a creep

Although maybe the fact that I've yet to be in a relationship should be a clue that this strategy isn't working

I totally get where you're coming from. It's hard to describe, but there's just a difference in the types of 'funny'. The first thing most people would say about me is that I'm a really funny guy, but I do pretty well with women. It's just a certain vibe thing- you can joke all day long but there has to be an undercurrent behind it all of sexuality.

Honestly though, that's probably my biggest talent. I have a knack for getting away with saying overtly sexual things without creeping people out. There's not a lot I'll brag about, but that is one thing I'm damn good at. I guess your mileage may vary.

For what it's worth, I was like you before. Then one day I just 'got it'. Hard to explain. And I have no fucking idea what 'kino' is. Is that some PUA technique?

 

[jamesinclair]

Comes around Friday. I go visit my family down in Fresno,
I go check out the area where there's plenty of bars with in walking distance.
.

Cool story bro, but I knew it was made up when I got to this line.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Right. My humor is both kind of unique, and one of my strong suits IRL, so I wanted that to come across (not saying that I did a good enough job of it here, I'll reassess in the morning). Aren't you supposed to project an aura of fun though? How are you supposed to create a sense of "sexuality" through a few sentences online without seeming like a tool?

In fact, advice here could maybe help me in the real world too. I typically have the exact same persona at parties when I'm interacting with girls as what you described. The funny guy that ladies have a fun time talking to. I thought that was a good thing! I throw in some kino too, which I thought would be a good enough balance, but do I need to actually SAY things that seem "sexual"? To be honest I don't know how to do that without seeming like a creep

Although maybe the fact that I've yet to be in a relationship should be a clue that this strategy isn't working

"The only thing bigger than my heart is my cock. I also have a terrible sense of humor."

Something like that.

 

[Aesius]

Not trying to be harsh, but you seem like you're coming off as 'funny guy'. Not 'funny guy that I wanna fuck' but just 'funny guy'. Hope that makes sense.

I'd really love to know how to be able to avoid this trap. I can play cocky funny all day long and I still get labeled as the funny friend.

 

[EzLink]

.

 

[-PXG-]

Can I get some feedback on the self-summary I just drunkenly created for my new OKC profile?

"HELLO ONLINE DATING WORLD! I'm [EzLink], the ginger you never knew you wanted (until now)

I'm probably a whole lot different than the majority of the people you already know. So different, in fact, that encapsulating myself in logically coherent paragraphs would be much less effective than giving you a rundown via quick, disjointed single sentences.

I am zany. I like the fact that I'm often able to make people laugh. I value treating other human beings kindly over most other things in life. I have two adopted sisters from China who are, far and away, the coolest Asians this country has ever seen. Metal music is my legal drug of choice. Working hard is cool, but so is lazily enjoying the comforts of life. Partying is almost always a better decision than staying in. Over thinking things far beyond what is reasonable or necessary is one of my strong suits. Three things I genuinely hate in the world are intolerance, ketchup, and the Russian mafia. And finally, the one thing that would make me happiest is to find a girl to share the rest of my adventures in life with!"

Two things to keep in mind... one, OKC has a shit ton of other "essay" portions, so there is plenty not covered here that I address in the rest of my profile. And two, while this is potentially very stupid (as I'm drunk), I thought it may be best to attempt creating a profile when I'm in my most confident state of mind

Thanks for any advice!

You're trying too hard to be funny and stand out. But hey, you wrote this while you were drunk...

 

[Rubenov]

Oops wrong thread.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

I was talking to this chick in target and asked her for her #. she told me she had a bf "for now" but to make sure i come back and see her again :lol that was fucking weird

 

[BladeWorker]

I was talking to this chick in target and asked her for her #. she told me she had a bf "for now" but to make sure i come back and see her again :lol that was fucking weird

Classy girl.

 

[EzLink]

You're trying too hard to be funny and stand out. But hey, you wrote this while you were drunk...

It's hard to know though the line between "trying to hard" and having it come across naturally

 

[Biff]

Can I get some feedback on the self-summary I just drunkenly created for my new OKC profile?

OKC puts too much emphasis on religion, drugs and alcohol. It's a very immature site, and from my experience, the women are extremely immature as well.

Use POF instead. The interface is annoying at first, but you'll get used to it.

 

[RoboPlato]

This isn't a story asking for help. It's just funny and I thought some of the guys in this thread would appreciate it and could relate. So there's this super hot girl that works at my bank and she always hits on me when I go in...until she sees my bank account balance. Since I'm a senior in college I'm pretty broke all the time. The first time she hit on me I she kept going on about how smart I must be for going to the school I go to, then she saw that I had $3.47. Complete business tone after that and no eye contact. Today I was going in to dispute a BS overdraft charge and decided to put in a check first before taking care of it. Of course she was the teller that I went to and she was hitting on me harder than before. She was going on about how much she loved the band I had a shirt of on and started talking to me about music and websites to get rare band merch. Then she saw the $-28 balance. Her response, "yeah...this site is also pretty cheap if you order anything from there." :lol

 

[ThanksVision]

About a year and half ago I was regularly dating girls, but that suddenly stopped. Girls just haven't shown interest in me. I've been pretty busy, and not putting myself out there, but I remember talking to friends of certain girls who would ask "what I think of her" and stuff like that. Not anymore

 

[BladeWorker]

OKC puts too much emphasis on religion, drugs and alcohol. It's a very immature site, and from my experience, the women are extremely immature as well.

Use POF instead. The interface is annoying at first, but you'll get used to it.

If I'm looking, boys who do drugs or smoke are immediately stricken from my list. Pardon me while I go suck my thumb, given I'm so immature. *rolleyes*

Look, you're gonna find immature women wherever you go. If you keep looking, though, you might also find ones with their heads screwed on straight.