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[grap3fruitman]

It's best not to even consider it a possibility for now.

Any woman isn't a possibility for me. =P

Work on your skills in more favorable conditions first.

I've never had more favorable conditions either. =P

That sucks. I thought it'd be easier... Crap.

 

[GiJoccin]

a little help with the online profile? i'm on match, and I almost never get responses via emails... I know my emails aren't so bad, pick out a few things in their profile and ask questions, I usually get my profile looked at. anyways:

One thing that has always come easy to me is putting smiles on people's faces. Whether it's joking around about anything (or nothing) people always know they're in for a few laughs when I’m around. I'm a very laid back guy who believes in taking life one day at a time and trying to find enjoyment in every situation. I’m all about family and friends. For me, a good time is more defined by whether or not a few friends are around to share some laughs rather than by what I’m doing.

Right now, I’m near White Plains at graduate school. I take time every day to do things that mean a lot to me, like cooking and exercising. I definitely believe in a balanced lifestyle and I make sure to do things that I enjoy. New York City means a lot to me. I'm from the city, so my family is there and I try to visit as much as possible. I also go to meet up with friends, whether it's at a restaurant, bar, a park, or any of the tons of fun places the city has to offer. I'm always up for a city adventure.

I’m looking to meet someone that loves to laugh and enjoy life. I’m all about finding humor in every day life, and I’m looking for a girl that does the same, whether it’s poking fun at herself, myself, anything, or even nothing at all.

 

[Joel Was Right]

Have any of you watched 500 Days of Summer?

 

[-PXG-]

Got another date planned for Wednesday night. She might make it Thursday though. That would fuck up my plans in NYC. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I also got one planned for next Friday too. Another girl gave me her number today, without me asking, but I only want to be friends. Purely platonic.

 

[HighAmperage]

Ugh....one-itis. I know, I know, I know. We're supposed to be above this shit. But, damn, when it hits hard, it's just about the worst thing in the world isn't it? I could have the phrase "Go Fuck Ten Other Women" branded onto my cock right now and it still wouldn't sink in. You know the pitfalls, you're smart enough to know that you're doomed, but you're drawn in anyway. Frustrating. Not looking for advice or anything, because I know it all, instinctively--I'm just venting. Sometimes "move on, douchebag", as much goddamned perfect sense as it makes, is not so easy.

 

[tigerin]

A date can be anywhere if you have the gravitas and confidence to pull it off. One date I had was 3 hours of us just walking around a Target and talking about people places and things in there. We eventually became a couple and are still friends to this day; we still often meet or refer to things near "our Target". Do it, man!

no, what i meant was cold approaching girls in public. for example, i see a pretty girl i don't know, walk up to her, strike a conversation and get her number then go thruogh with the date.

 

[Joel Was Right]

Got another date planned for Wednesday night. She might make it Thursday though. That would fuck up my plans in NYC. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I also got one planned for next Friday too. Another girl gave me her number today, without me asking, but I only want to be friends. Purely platonic.

Thought you had a girl man. What happened

 

[cashman]

So I've been quietly lurking this thread and haven't really had anything to say until...

Any woman isn't a possibility for me. =P
.

DUDE, WTF YOU'RE NOT EVEN UGLY. LOOK AT YOU

Creepy smile aside, you are not a bad looking dude. I really don't think any chick would be repulsed by the sight of you, so just relax and let it flow.

 

[RobertM]

He comes of as a rapist in his pics though.

 

[jooey]

He comes of as a rapist in his pics though.

Just because you're a rapist SOME of the time doesn't mean you're a rapist ALL of the time.

 

[-PXG-]

Thought you had a girl man. What happened

Long story. Single now. Two years of my life down the shitter. Oh well, I moved on...

 

[Mr.City]

He comes of as a rapist in his pics though.

 

[ThLunarian]

Fuck. Opera-Singer stood me up for the 3rd date. Tomorrow was her birthday too, and I had chocolates and a flower ready to give her at midnight.

With nothing better to do tonight, I've been lounging around on Facebook and such all night, and just when I'd mostly forgotten about getting stood up, something she'd just posted on Facebook showed up on my newsfeed and I was like "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

It's times like these that Facebook seems more a curse than a blessing. Oh well... I'll feel alright by tomorrow I think.

 

[lawlohwhat]

Fuck. Opera-Singer stood me up for the 3rd date. Tomorrow was her birthday too, and I had chocolates and a flower ready to give her at midnight.

With nothing better to do tonight, I've been lounging around on Facebook and such all night, and just when I'd mostly forgotten about getting stood up, something she'd just posted on Facebook showed up on my newsfeed and I was like "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

It's times like these that Facebook seems more a curse than a blessing. Oh well... I'll feel alright by tomorrow I think.

delete. problem solved.

 

[Ether_Snake]

I'm going to a party soon and the theme is chic, which I think is stupid cause usually we have wilder themes, chic feels too serious. I'd say over half of the people attending never dress of the theme anyway, and half of that half doesn't dress any different than at work anyway.

Anyway I went through my closet and since I don't have a complete suit and I don't like the dressy look, my choice is either I don't wear anything I don't usually wear, or I dress "chic" but fail cause I don't really have anything that is totally chic so it would be just boring and wouldn't stand out at all. And then while looking in the mirror, I got an idea: I'm gonna show up with a nice dress shirt, some nice shoes and some pinstriped pants, but the collar's buttons will be unbuttoned, the top button as well, my hair will be messy like a girl ran her fingers through it, my pants will be hanging low just enough for my boxers to show a bit, and my tie will just be hanging loose, straight down on both sides like I just threw it over, giving me that "I just had sex with my secretary and I'm halfway through putting my clothes back on" look. If I had some fake lipstick kiss stamp I'd stamp it here and there too, but alas I don't. Should be funny.

Watch out ladies!

 

[SmokeMaxX]

I'm going to a party soon and the theme is chic, which I think is stupid cause usually we have wilder themes, chic feels too serious. I'd say over half of the people attending never dress of the theme anyway, and half of that half doesn't dress any different than at work anyway.

Anyway I went through my closet and since I don't have a complete suit and I don't like the dressy look, my choice is either I don't wear anything I don't usually wear, or I dress "chic" but fail cause I don't really have anything that is totally chic so it would be just boring and wouldn't stand out at all. And then while looking in the mirror, I got an idea: I'm gonna show up with a nice dress shirt, some nice shoes and some pinstriped pants, but the collar's buttons will be unbuttoned, the top button as well, my hair will be messy like a girl ran her fingers through it, my pants will be hanging low just enough for my boxers to show a bit, and my tie will just be hanging loose, straight down on both sides like I just threw it over, giving me that "I just had sex with my secretary and I'm halfway through putting my clothes back on" look. If I had some fake lipstick kiss stamp I'd stamp it here and there too, but alas I don't. Should be funny.

Watch out ladies!

Haha I personally approve. :lol

 

[Ether_Snake]

I'll either look like a guy who just had sex in the office, or a really drunk guy. :lol

 

[EzLink]

.

 

[norinrad]

What do you guys usually wear when you go out on first dates?

I have a date coming up with this girl i met on a dating site and we've been mailing for a couple of days. I asked her out for a drink and she said yes.

I was thinking about wearing something casual but with a tie. What do you guys think?

Pic is not me, found it online but thought i should go wearing something like that

 

[Aesius]

Shitty night. Really missing my ex right now.

I couldn't wait to be rid of her while we were together. I had a few girls throwing themselves at me, and I was sick of her. Now I'm single and lonely as hell, and I have no prospects whatsoever. I know it's temporary, but all that ails me would be cured if I could just meet the right girl. But fucking hell is she hard to find.

Doesn't help that all of my friends are in relationships.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

Okay, I had encounters with two cute girls recently and I had no idea how to approach them. There was a cute cashier at the Target yesterday and the other day we ordered food at my office and the delivery girl was absolutely gorgeous. I didn't know how to approach either. Halp.

Cashiers? The chances of success as in "holy crap i'm gonna get laid tonight!" are low. Obviously. Chances of a date? Even the best of the best might not get an opportunity to talk to them properly to lead up to "hey can i get your number" since timing is difficult in a moving line.

But it's not to say you won't have time to crack a joke or two! I mean, you don't have much (anything?) to lose, and it's good practice to get a woman to laugh or smile. Like when you first see the cashier girl, just go "Hi." When the timing's right, make a quip about something you bought or throw her a kind compliment.

The D girl is likely busy as well, but never approached a delivery girl before lol

 

[jamesinclair]

What do you guys usually wear when you go out on first dates?

I have a date coming up with this girl i met on a dating site and we've been mailing for a couple of days. I asked her out for a drink and she said yes.

I was thinking about wearing something casual but with a tie. What do you guys think?

Pic is not me, found it online but thought i should go wearing something like that

I think that's a bit too formal.

I think it depends on the place you guys picked

 

[norinrad]

I think that's a bit too formal.

I think it depends on the place you guys picked

It's a bar minus restaurant and i was thinking about looking sharp. She will obviously pay attention to how i take care of myself won't she? I haven't been on a date for 6 years i have forgotten how to do these things

 

[Darkman M]

Seems a bit formal for a bar.

 

[norinrad]

Seems a bit formal for a bar.

How about this then?

 

[Darkman M]

Yeah going without the tie would be better.

 

[Danielsan]

What do you guys usually wear when you go out on first dates?

I have a date coming up with this girl i met on a dating site and we've been mailing for a couple of days. I asked her out for a drink and she said yes.

I was thinking about wearing something casual but with a tie. What do you guys think?

Pic is not me, found it online but thought i should go wearing something like that

I don't know how old you are man, but I just wear whatever I wear normally. As long as you feel comfortable in it and you don't look like a slob you're fine. I certainly wouldn't overdress unless you are going to some fancy restaurant/occasion on your first date.

 

[norinrad]

Casual it is.

 

[Qwerty710710]

I'm really having a hard time writing to girls online, I'm always at a lost of words. I rarely ever get a reply back it's like 1 out of every 50 chciks if that. Any advice to write a good first message?

 

[norinrad]

I'm really having a hard time writing to girls online, I'm always at a lost of words. I rarely ever get a reply back it's like 1 out of every 50 chciks if that. Any advice to write a good first message?

It's kind of win some lose some, you just have to keep trying and not making a comment about something in her profile doesn't always work. Say whatever thats on your mind when you write them and well hope they reply back

 

[whitehawk]

Go with either outfit, the first one is a bit fancier, but I would still classify it as casual.

 

[jon bones]

that outfit looks great.

 

[norinrad]

that outfit looks great.

First or second one?

Again its just a bar minus restaurant, but i just thought i would look my best.

 

[jon bones]

First or second one?

Again its just a bar minus restaurant, but i just thought i would look my best.

always look your best - if you're playing sports, dress like a bum and preform like a pro. going out? dress your best and preform like a pro.

i was referring to the first one. love the contrasting light blazer w/ darker v neck sweater. oxford button downs are always a win and the tie is patterned so it's never too serious. pocket square is great if you've got a base swag stat of 7 or higher. belt looks like good leather and for jeans, plz refer to my god-tier denim thread.

the second outfit is vanilla

 

[BocoDragon]

Ugh....one-itis. I know, I know, I know. We're supposed to be above this shit. But, damn, when it hits hard, it's just about the worst thing in the world isn't it? I could have the phrase "Go Fuck Ten Other Women" branded onto my cock right now and it still wouldn't sink in. You know the pitfalls, you're smart enough to know that you're doomed, but you're drawn in anyway. Frustrating. Not looking for advice or anything, because I know it all, instinctively--I'm just venting. Sometimes "move on, douchebag", as much goddamned perfect sense as it makes, is not so easy.

I don't see this "one-itis" as a bad thing. Crushes are perfectly natural. If you like one girl above most others, that's something to honor. PUA doctrines can kiss my ass, seriously.

Of course having a crush gets you stuck in "the game" or whatever. But I say go for your crush, exhaust its potential, hit rock bottom.... or maybe you'll get lucky and score her. But let's be honest.. you can't just "move on". You feel how you feel. You won't get over this crush by pretending you don't care. You'll either score the girl.... or it will take a little time to get over her. You shouldn't beat yourself up by forcing yourself into an unnatural "player" mould that was probably devised by sociopaths anyway.

 

[demon]

How about this then?

something awfully weird going on with the shoulders there....

 

[Parts]

I don't see this "one-itis" as a bad thing. Crushes are perfectly natural. If you like one girl above most others, that's something to honor. PUA doctrines can kiss my ass, seriously.

Of course having a crush gets you stuck in "the game" or whatever. But I say go for your crush, exhaust its potential, hit rock bottom.... or maybe you'll get lucky and score her. But let's be honest.. you can't just "move on". You feel how you feel. You won't get over this crush by pretending you don't care. You'll either score the girl.... or it will take a little time to get over her. You shouldn't beat yourself up by forcing yourself into an unnatural "player" mould that was probably devised by sociopaths anyway.

Crushes aren't what I see the same as oneitis. I see one-itis as more being 'special feelings' for a girl that make you react to her differently to less success than with other girls whom you treat normally. If you start kissing her ass more than you normally would, or finding yourself texting a girl sappy crap that you know will do nothing but get you 'nice guy points' (cringe) that's oneitis.

Crushes are awesome, but if she's the only girl you think about it's a problem.

 

[jon bones]

one-itis is a bad thing - but i always thought of it as "the ex"

the big one that most everyone has by the time they're in their mid 20s

it's the one that didn't work out for one reason or another, the one you considered staying with for the rest of your life

then it ends and you're trying to figure out how to date again while trying to get over "the ex"

took me a while to get over my "one" but i'm there now - i even get to bang her occasionally and we're on friendly terms. it took a while to get there but now i am free and unburdened

something awfully weird going on with the shoulders there....

yea those epaulets look terrible

 

[demon]

yea those epaulets look terrible

epaulets need to die, I'm sick of them ruining otherwise perfectly good jackets. aaanyway.......

 

[jon bones]

epaulets need to die, I'm sick of them ruining otherwise perfectly good jackets. aaanyway.......

well they went from classic to trendy to overdone... they'll run their course and i'll rock my le samourai trenchagain

 

[Eggo]

I don't see this "one-itis" as a bad thing. Crushes are perfectly natural. If you like one girl above most others, that's something to honor. PUA doctrines can kiss my ass, seriously.

Of course having a crush gets you stuck in "the game" or whatever. But I say go for your crush, exhaust its potential, hit rock bottom.... or maybe you'll get lucky and score her. But let's be honest.. you can't just "move on". You feel how you feel. You won't get over this crush by pretending you don't care. You'll either score the girl.... or it will take a little time to get over her. You shouldn't beat yourself up by forcing yourself into an unnatural "player" mould that was probably devised by sociopaths anyway.

One-itis is often also associated with a girl who does not reciprocate those feelings. So you're pining away for someone who doesn't want you back. You can't move on to other girls because 'no one else can compare to the One.' There's nothing healthy or admirable about it. It's pathetic... But whatever floats your boat.

 

[Danielsan]

One-itis is often also associated with a girl who does not reciprocate those feelings. So you're pining away for someone who doesn't want you back. You can't move on to other girls because 'no one else can compare to the One.' There's nothing healthy or admirable about it. It's pathetic... But whatever floats your boat.

It's not healthy, but it happens.

Anywho, practically got rid of temporary case of "one-itis". Found some distraction, or actually a lot of distraction in another girl. Will go on a date next week. Luckily I don't have a crush on this girl so the chances of me cockblocking myself are somewhat lower than my last date. The good: girl is very relaxed to chat with, has a lot in common with me and looks pretty good. The bad: she needs a lot of attention and I fear for my texting bill. Need to get that date out of the way fast because if this goes on much longer I might and up being a texting buddy rather than a lover... We'll see how things go next week. She is very interested at least, as am I, but if things don't work out I'd only consider it a minor loss.

 

[GeneralIroh]

Hey there gaf, I mean dear diary...

So a couple of days ago I went to wholefoods for some lunch after my finals and I ran into this cute girl. I looked at her and smiled and then she initiated the conversation by asking me where she was supposed to go to pay for the stuff. I helped her out a bit and then asked her where she was from. After a brief exchange of words I went on my way to pay for my food and sat down to eat at one of the tables.

I was thinking to myself I should have gone further with the conversation and then made an excuse that I still felt a bit sick today from the flu a few days ago.
All of a sudden I saw her again, she took the seat facing towards me and said hi again. This time we talked more about our interests,background, etc and then she said she felt like she was yelling at me so she moved closer to the seat on my right. She also told me she felt like she has known me for a long time.

After all the good signs I asked her for her facebook and tried to add it on my phone. Unfortunately my internet was lagging like hell so I got her phone number instead. After we exchanged numbers the staff at wholefoods said we had to leave because they needed to reorganize tables for some cooking demonstration. As we walked out she mentioned she was waiting for her brother to pick her up. I stood there with her and said I would keep her company but then she said it was unnecessary. I told her it was alright and stood there for maybe 2 mins. I then felt a bit awkward waiting out there for her bro so I told her I had to leave. Before I left I attempted some last minute kino that involved the shoulder pat bye combo and received a hug from her instead. : )

So gaf what does this mean? Do you think she is interested or is she just really friendly and I'm in the friends zone?

Should I call her first or visit her workplace at this one bakery cafe?
Actually I already tried to call her to go to the obey warehouse sample sale but she didn't pick up. She did text me back telling me she was still at work though.

I'm pretty clueless at reading signals. I'm pretty sure I screwed up being smooth earlier but I think things went well. I think busting out my cardigan helped a bit with getting noticed

 

[Eggo]

Hey there gaf, I mean dear diary...

So a couple of days ago I went to wholefoods for some lunch after my finals and I ran into this cute girl. I looked at her and smiled and then she initiated the conversation by asking me where she was supposed to go to pay for the stuff. I helped her out a bit and then asked her where she was from. After a brief exchange of words I went on my way to pay for my food and sat down to eat at one of the tables.

I was thinking to myself I should have gone further with the conversation and then made an excuse that I still felt a bit sick today from the flu a few days ago.
All of a sudden I saw her again, she took the seat facing towards me and said hi again. This time we talked more about our interests,background, etc and then she said she felt like she was yelling at me so she moved closer to the seat on my right. She also told me she felt like she has known me for a long time.

After all the good signs I asked her for her facebook and tried to add it on my phone. Unfortunately my internet was lagging like hell so I got her phone number instead. After we exchanged numbers the staff at wholefoods said we had to leave because they needed to reorganize tables for some cooking demonstration. As we walked out she mentioned she was waiting for her brother to pick her up. I stood there with her and said I would keep her company but then she said it was unnecessary. I told her it was alright and stood there for maybe 2 mins. I then felt a bit awkward waiting out there for her bro so I told her I had to leave. Before I left I attempted some last minute kino that involved the shoulder pat bye combo and received a hug from her instead. : )

So gaf what does this mean? Do you think she is interested or is she just really friendly and I'm in the friends zone?

Should I call her first or visit her workplace at this one bakery cafe?
Actually I already tried to call her to go to the obey warehouse sample sale but she didn't pick up. She did text me back telling me she was still at work though.

I'm pretty clueless at reading signals. I'm pretty sure I screwed up being smooth earlier but I think things went well.

Stop cockblocking yourself. Waiting around for her is unattractive. Your time should be valuable and you should treat it that way. Trying to earn 'nice guy' points hurts your cause. On the bright side, it sounds like she is into you for now. Only you can screw it up. Oh and don't go to her workplace. That's creepy and needy... unless that's who you are.

 

[GeneralIroh]

Stop cockblocking yourself. Waiting around for her is unattractive. Your time should be valuable and you should treat it that way. Trying to earn 'nice guy' points hurts your cause. On the bright side, it sounds like she is into you for now. Only you can screw it up. Oh and don't go to her workplace. That's creepy and needy... unless that's who you are.

Yeah I realized how awkward it was waiting around so I bolted. Ugh thats to problem with being inexperienced, you won't realize when you've cock blocked yourself until you've already done it.
So I should just call her to go for some casual coffee or a bite at this one food truck meet right?
Like I said before, I've never been on a date before and would appreciate any help on the steps I should take to be more successful.

 

[-PXG-]

Alright, you guys remember that girl that was supposed to come over for lunch? Well, we're going out in about an hour. Yeah, spur of the moment, but I can't complain. Gonna go get fresh and head out. Put a nice tee on, a blazer, and some nicely ironed khakis. Plus, I got another lunch date planned for Wednesday, heading out to a bar with my "wifey" girl and might go up to NYC with another lady next weekend. Needless to say I'm feeling fucking great. Too many wimminz :lol

 

[GeneralIroh]

Alright, you guys remember that girl that was supposed to come over for lunch? Well, we're going out in about an hour. Yeah, spur of the moment, but I can't complain. Gonna go get fresh and head out. Put a nice tee on, a blazer, and some nicely ironed khakis. Plus, I got another lunch date planned for Wednesday, heading out to a bar with my "wifey" girl and might go up to NYC with another lady next weekend. Needless to say I'm feeling fucking great. Too many wimminz :lol

Highfives* PXG
If I weren't sick I'd be a bit more active. I'm talking to a couple of wimminz online but my condition is keeping me from setting up dates. One is 30 mins away from me while the other is an hour and 30 mins.

 

[EzLink]

Damn PXG, very nice. Casting your net wide seems to be the best strategy

 

[-PXG-]

Highfives* PXG
If I weren't sick I'd be a bit more active. I'm talking to a couple of wimminz online but my condition is keeping me from setting up dates. One is 30 mins away from me while the other is an hour and 30 mins.

Hope you feel better.

I'm wearing a black tee, with a gold foil design on it, a black textured blazer, tan khakis and my leather samba Adidas sneakers. I might take a pic and post it later. Just killing time now before I head out.

I might see her again tomorrow too, if I'm not too busy.

Damn PXG, very nice. Casting your net wide seems to be the best strategy

Yes. Don't just focus on one girl at a time. It's not like you're in a monogamous relationship with them. You're merely testing the waters and seeing which one clicks with you. Also, in the case things don't work out with one of them, you have back ups/ extras laying around. So if this date sucks, I got another one planned for Wednesday. If that goes belly up, I got another for Friday. If that one for some reason falls on its face, I got yet another for Saturday (still working that one out). I got two more, but I'm just talking to them. No plans for them...yet

So yeah, I have shit planned out accordingly.

 

[HighAmperage]

I don't see this "one-itis" as a bad thing. Crushes are perfectly natural. If you like one girl above most others, that's something to honor. PUA doctrines can kiss my ass, seriously.

Of course having a crush gets you stuck in "the game" or whatever. But I say go for your crush, exhaust its potential, hit rock bottom.... or maybe you'll get lucky and score her. But let's be honest.. you can't just "move on". You feel how you feel. You won't get over this crush by pretending you don't care. You'll either score the girl.... or it will take a little time to get over her. You shouldn't beat yourself up by forcing yourself into an unnatural "player" mould that was probably devised by sociopaths anyway.

Oh believe me, despite my use of PUA terms (which I think do have some common-sense validity, along with a lot of the bullshit), I'm not trying to fit into that mindset. It does help to keep the PUA stuff in the back of your mind though, I think. Some of it at least, is very valuable, especially in the approach/attraction phases.

Bottom line is, it's a work situation (we only see each other one day a week), and the feelings aren't unrequited (not quite equal either, but not unrequited), and it's just really fucking hard. Lots of flirting lots of interest on both sides (for a looong time now) but we can't act on it because of work. Out of sight, she would be out of mind and I'd be fine. And again, not looking for advice, I know it's silly and pathetic and self-limiting. But in my defense, she's the first one I've met in a long time who just really knocks me out in so many ways, and simply telling myself "move on" and "get over it" and "don't shit where you eat" and all the other blustery cliches just ain't gonna work for me. I've had moments of weakness with her, but I'm not being Mr. Nice Guy Douchebag either-I've just developed very strong feelings despite all the red flags and against all my better judgement. Just have to get to the point where I can accept it for what it is. And that is proving really fucking difficult.

(and I'm 40--if you 20-somethings think meeting chicks is hard--at this age it's REALLY hard to meet one who isn't 300 pounds and/or has more baggage than Taylor Trunk.)