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[CherryWoodFuton]

So I've been talking to this girl lately and I'm starting to like her, BUT a friend of mine seems to like her too. I'm not sure how to proceed and if he does like her I don't want to break the "bro code".

If you talked to her first then you got dibs

Simple question, a while ago, a girl I used to work with asked me if I wanted to "come get drunk with her" later that night. I don't drink, so I said no. I didn't really think much of the question then, but now that I'm reflecting on it ( no idea what brough it about ) it feels like she was making an advance and I was just being my usual dense self and I didn't pick up on it. Did I miss something, or was it just a simple invitation and I'm overthinking right now?

 

[Slayer-33]

HAHAHA

 

[kuYuri]

I think there was a few pages of discussion months and months ago about it and it seemed like an epic battle.

Myself, I'm a big supporter of always paying on the first date. If she says she wants to pay, insist that you pay. I guess if she insists and doesn't back down, then offer to go half, but I always feel the guy should pay imo.

I guess I'm just old fashioned. Paying on the first date for me goes hand in hand with opening doors and all that kind of stuff.

People here will disagree with this, but that is what I recommend.

With my girlfriend now, we just figure out paying on the fly, sometimes go half, I pay, or she pays. When it comes to something like an anniversary or something really special, I usually pay, but we have been known to go half there, too.

Thanks for the advice, much appreciated.

Sounds like people were split in the middle about this, but I consider myself old-fashioned about this as well. So I'm most likely going this way as well, as I've done it once in the past.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Thanks for the advice, much appreciated.

Sounds like people were split in the middle about this, but I consider myself old-fashioned about this as well. So I'm most likely going this way as well, as I've done it once in the past.

Just make sure you don't eat at a fancy French restaurant like I did

 

[lawlohwhat]

Simple question, a while ago, a girl I used to work with asked me if I wanted to "come get drunk with her" later that night. I don't drink, so I said no. I didn't really think much of the question then, but now that I'm reflecting on it ( no idea what brough it about ) it feels like she was making an advance and I was just being my usual dense self and I didn't pick up on it. Did I miss something, or was it just a simple invitation and I'm overthinking right now?

If a girl wants to get drunk with you, alone, then she is comfortable relieving herself of inhibitions. It's pretty much an open invitation to fool around.

Long story short: why don't you drink?!

 

[computers putin']

If a girl wants to get drunk with you, alone, then she is comfortable relieving herself of inhibitions. It's pretty much an open invitation to fool around.

Long story short: why don't you drink?!

Damnit, I figured as much but I didn't wanna admit it to myself; I just can't figure out why I didn't notice it back then! My mind must of been somewhere waaaayy out there to miss this, and she was gorgeous too

I don't drink because I saw my mother drink herself away ever since I was a kid and eventually pass away from it( liver failure). I'm just afraid that if ever start drinking I may end up doing what my mother did and end up not being able to help it. I'm 24 and it I've missed out socially because of my refusal to drink, but every time I think about trying a drink, this sick feeling wells up in my stomach like I shouldn't do it.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Damnit, I figured as much but I didn't wanna admit it to myself; I just can't figure out why I didn't notice it back then! My mind must of been somewhere waaaayy out there to miss this, and she was gorgeous too

I don't drink because I saw my mother drink herself away ever since I was a kid and eventually pass away from it( liver failure). I'm just afraid that if ever start drinking I may end up doing what my mother did and end up not being able to help it. I'm 24 and it I've missed out socially because of my refusal to drink, but every time I think about trying a drink, this sick feeling wells up in my stomach like I shouldn't do it.

The point is not drinking the point is this girl sounds like she would be comfortable being vulnerable (drunk) around you. This usually means she wants to have your penis inside her vagina.....

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/a-guide-to-writing-the-most-generic-okcupid-profile-ever/

 

[Attackthebase]

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/a-guide-to-writing-the-most-generic-okcupid-profile-ever/

This made me laugh hard.

 

[reilo]

Simple question, a while ago, a girl I used to work with asked me if I wanted to "come get drunk with her" later that night. I don't drink, so I said no. I didn't really think much of the question then, but now that I'm reflecting on it ( no idea what brough it about ) it feels like she was making an advance and I was just being my usual dense self and I didn't pick up on it. Did I miss something, or was it just a simple invitation and I'm overthinking right now?

Where did it all go wrong with you?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

God, this ended up going down in flames in one of the worst ways. Gonna just take it as a life lesson learned, but damn if this wasn't emotionally-exhausting.

 

[Attackthebase]

God, this ended up going down in flames in one of the worst ways. Gonna just take it as a life lesson learned, but damn if this wasn't emotionally-exhausting.

Yup, know that feeling, been there, did that a month and a half ago. Still feels the effect of it. Meh.

 

[reilo]

God, this ended up going down in flames in one of the worst ways. Gonna just take it as a life lesson learned, but damn if this wasn't emotionally-exhausting.

Is this the girl you found out had a boyfriend?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Is this the girl you found out had a boyfriend?

No, but it's similar. To cut a long story short, this is the "nice girl" I mentioned after the girl who had a boyfriend. This one took a huge liking to me and blew up my phone and FB, told me I was the gentleman she's been looking for all her life, fooled around with me; and ended up being one of my friend's slampieces, while she was going out with me. And I was pretty much the last one in my circle to find this out.

 

[reilo]

No, but it's similar. To cut a long story short, this is the "nice girl" I mentioned after the girl who had a boyfriend. This one took a huge liking to me and blew up my phone and FB, told me I was the gentleman she's been looking for all her life, fooled around with me; and ended up being one of my friend's slampieces, while she was going out with me. And I was pretty much the last one in my circle to find this out.

:-\

I want to say I am surprised, but...

 

[SRG01]

No, but it's similar. To cut a long story short, this is the "nice girl" I mentioned after the girl who had a boyfriend. This one took a huge liking to me and blew up my phone and FB, told me I was the gentleman she's been looking for all her life, fooled around with me; and ended up being one of my friend's slampieces, while she was going out with me. And I was pretty much the last one in my circle to find this out.

Wait, these kind of people exist? Jesus...

 

[reilo]

Wait, these kind of people exist? Jesus...

Is this a serious question?

Yes, these kinds of people do exist. Yes they do.

 

[SRG01]

Is this a serious question?

Yes, these kinds of people do exist. Yes they do.

Well, I suppose I was being a little rhetorical...

I'm still a little surprised, though.

 

[JEKKI]

I am so depressed... the most beautiful girl on POF didn't respond to the message I sent her and also declined my chat request.

Not a very big deal at all, but enough to trigger how I feel about all the other crap going on in life that sucks...

as I addressed before, my friends, fuck them. These guys exemplify the internet's fucking Forever Alone meme, and I'm tired of trying to reach out to them and give them a chance to live an adult life since it's obvious these doods are pushing 30 and never had a girlfriend before... I can't talk with them, I can't help them, I'm done, I'll wait for them to decide to help themselves before I bother again.

I feel alone, I moved to a new city and don't know anybody and have no one to talk to (not like I had many friends in LA). I actually do have one local friend, an old classmate who is also educated, goal oriented, and somewhat reasonable. The problem is, she hasn't returned the two texts I sent her this week. Last time I did grab lunch with her I met her new boyfriend, and I fear their relationship has moved to a point where my friendship is about to get cut off...

and finally, crazy OKCupid ex-date starts texting me again 3 weeks after telling me to leave her alone like she wants to hang out... fuck that, that is the absolute last thing I need...

it's time like these where I feel I don't know what to do and want to run to the very last person I should... my ex-girlfriend, who is the source of a lot of the insecurities I feel in regards to relationships and general life success. She's always an email or phone call away from me, but whenever I do see her nothing good ever happens and it just makes me feel worse, but things are so bad I feel like I wouldn't mind feeling like shit just for a split second of that familiar feeling when things actually made sense in life...

 

[Etrian Oddity]

I'm going to take a break from dating, I think. I just had two winners right in a row, haha. XD

 

[SRG01]

I am so depressed... the most beautiful girl on POF didn't respond to the message I sent her and also declined my chat request.

Not a very big deal at all, but enough to trigger how I feel about all the other crap going on in life that sucks...

as I addressed before, my friends, fuck them. These guys exemplify the internet's fucking Forever Alone meme, and I'm tired of trying to reach out to them and give them a chance to live an adult life since it's obvious these doods are pushing 30 and never had a girlfriend before... I can't talk with them, I can't help them, I'm done, I'll wait for them to decide to help themselves before I bother again.

I feel alone, I moved to a new city and don't know anybody and have no one to talk to (not like I had many friends in LA). I actually do have one local friend, an old classmate who is also educated, goal oriented, and somewhat reasonable. The problem is, she hasn't returned the two texts I sent her this week. Last time I did grab lunch with her I met her new boyfriend, and I fear their relationship has moved to a point where my friendship is about to get cut off...

and finally, crazy OKCupid ex-date starts texting me again 3 weeks after telling me to leave her alone like she wants to hang out... fuck that, that is the absolute last thing I need...

it's time like these where I feel I don't know what to do and want to run to the very last person I should... my ex-girlfriend, who is the source of a lot of the insecurities I feel in regards to relationships and general life success. She's always an email or phone call away from me, but whenever I do see her nothing good ever happens and it just makes me feel worse, but things are so bad I feel like I wouldn't mind feeling like shit just for a split second of that familiar feeling when things actually made sense in life...

First thing: Get off online dating. You'll be continually disappointed.

Second thing: How big is your city? Surely it's big enough to find sports clubs, classes, or something of the sort?

Third thing: Develop independence, not co-dependence. The age-old axiom that you usually find your GF when you aren't looking for one is very true, because that's when you're working on finding yourself rather than finding others.

Good luck on everything

I'm going to take a break from dating, I think. I just had two winners right in a row, haha. XD

That may work... Or maybe just meet different people? My GF is from outside my usual social circle.

 

[Bruiserk]

So there is this girl, let's call her "A", at my university who I met last Wednesday through a mutual friend, who we will call "B". "A" said she will be at the same place/time friday if we would like to come hangout during our break. I told B that I think A is quite cute and I would like to go see her on friday, but B was not going to be at school friday so I did not end up going. I'd like to get to know A better, do you guys think I should bring B along this week since they know each other and it isn't just me as some guy she just met trying to find and meet her? This is probably just nerves talking, but could that come off as creepy?

Help me GAF!

 

[SRG01]

So there is this girl, let's call her "A", at my university who I met last Wednesday through a mutual friend, who we will call "B". "A" said she will be at the same place/time friday if we would like to come hangout during our break. I told B that I think A is quite cute and I would like to go see her on friday, but B was not going to be at school friday so I did not end up going. I'd like to get to know A better, do you guys think I should bring B along this week since they know each other and it isn't just me as some guy she just met trying to find and meet her? This is probably just nerves talking, but could that come off as creepy?

Help me GAF!

It really depends on how you approach it. Are you typically good with anonymous social encounters?

 

[Bruiserk]

It really depends on how you approach it. Are you typically good with anonymous social encounters?

I'd like to think so. I am completely fine with striking up a conversation with a random stranger and getting to know them.

 

[SRG01]

I'd like to think so. I am completely fine with striking up a conversation with a random stranger and getting to know them.

Then it won't be creepy. If she asks about your friend, just say that he/she wasn't able to make it.

 

[JEKKI]

First thing: Get off online dating. You'll be continually disappointed.

Second thing: How big is your city? Surely it's big enough to find sports clubs, classes, or something of the sort?

Third thing: Develop independence, not co-dependence. The age-old axiom that you usually find your GF when you aren't looking for one is very true, because that's when you're working on finding yourself rather than finding others.

Good luck on everything

a couple things, I addressed before that online dating is a thing for me cause my friends are too much of losers to as much as look at another girl... I do not want to go to a bar alone...

this is why I wanted to see my female friend, I wanted to talk about dating but cannot do that if she isn't there for me... our social lives do not intersect at all so the very fact that we're friends is a mystery in and of itself, and it sucks that it very well be gone for no apparent reason at all.

back in LA I used to take adult hiphop classes, but the girl I talked to there straight up blew me off, also the classes got too easy so I moved to an intermediate level full of high school girls >_<

lastly as far as being independent is concerned, I have been independent since I finished college 5+ years ago. Again, my Ex sent me on this crazy path of redemption where I felt like utter shit and had to continue improving myself until I felt I could be a good enough person.

My insecurity in life is, no matter what I do, no matter what I accomplish, now matter how much I like myself, I will always find someone I admire only to have them tell me sorry it's not enough.

Independence is all good, but I'm so independent that it's come to the point where I can't do a single thing without feeling the pain of loneliness. This is why I am taking dating a lot more seriously at the moment, I really want to change this and finally shake this years long feeling off of me, but every failure just serves to reinforce it. Yet despite that I still approach everything with a smile and a positive attitude even though deep down it feel like nobody even cares

 

[Etrian Oddity]

That may work... Or maybe just meet different people? My GF is from outside my usual social circle.

Both were met in totally different ways. One was from class; and the other was a mutual friend I had met once before, but hadn't truly made acquaintance before until a party.

Both took the lead, and both were incredibly deceptive. I've got no clue what kind of vibe I've got going on, or if it's just sheer bad luck. Lord knows I'm not handsome enough to make a girl want me to be her fuckbuddy. =\

 

[SRG01]

a couple things, I addressed before that online dating is a thing for me cause my friends are too much of losers to as much as look at another girl... I do not want to go to a bar alone...

this is why I wanted to see my female friend, I wanted to talk about dating but cannot do that if she isn't there for me... our social lives do not intersect at all so the very fact that we're friends is a mystery in and of itself, and it sucks that it very well be gone for no apparent reason at all.

back in LA I used to take adult hiphop classes, but the girl I talked to there straight up blew me off, also the classes got too easy so I moved to an intermediate level full of high school girls >_<

lastly as far as being independent is concerned, I have been independent since I finished college 5+ years ago. Again, my Ex sent me on this crazy path of redemption where I felt like utter shit and had to continue improving myself until I felt I could be a good enough person.

My insecurity in life is, no matter what I do, no matter what I accomplish, now matter how much I like myself, I will always find someone I admire only to have them tell me sorry it's not enough.

Independence is all good, but I'm so independent that it's come to the point where I can't do a single thing without feeling the pain of loneliness. This is why I am taking dating a lot more seriously at the moment, I really want to change this and finally shake this years long feeling off of me, but every failure just serves to reinforce it. Yet despite that I still approach everything with a smile and a positive attitude even though deep down it feel like nobody even cares

As a fellow dancer... stay away from dance girls. Anyhow, you do not have to go to the bar to meet girls. There are other places to go to for that.

To address the theme of your post, I don't think you've developed independence at all. Perhaps isolation, due to your insecurities. Independence is not about meeting expectations, or failures, or whatever. Independence is about depending and believing in yourself.

If you truly want "redemption", then try re-connect with yourself. I was in your shoes once. I know how it feels.

Both were met in totally different ways. One was from class; and the other was a mutual friend I had met once before, but hadn't truly made acquaintance before until a party.

Both took the lead, and both were incredibly deceptive. I've got no clue what kind of vibe I've got going on, or if it's just sheer bad luck. Lord knows I'm not handsome enough to make a girl want me to be her fuckbuddy. =\

I'd chalk it up to bad luck then.

 

[element]

alright Dating-GAF.

Just returned from a first date, my first in a long time, and I thought the girl was super cool. We talked and had a beer for a couple hours. How long should I wait before contacting her again?

I'm so bad at that shit.

 

[SRG01]

alright Dating-GAF.

Just returned from a first date, my first in a long time, and I thought the girl was super cool. We talked and had a beer for a couple hours. How long should I wait before contacting her again?

I'm so bad at that shit.

It really depends on how attracted you two were to each other, what kind of girl she is, and how much effort you are willing to give to chase her. Personally, I've done anywhere from next day at noon, to two days, to the three day rule, and even the next week...

Most importantly, it depends on how attracted you two were to each other.

 

[JEKKI]

To address the theme of your post, I don't think you've developed independence at all. Perhaps isolation, due to your insecurities. Independence is not about meeting expectations, or failures, or whatever. Independence is about depending and believing in yourself.

see I really don't understand what this means... I spent the last 5 years of my life misguiding myself into a career choice that I finally realized would neither make me happy nor make my ex like me again.

I'm very proud of myself that I found a balance between what I thought I wanted to do and what I can do, career wise that is, which again thus shifts my focus back to relationships. But the last thing I want to do is spend another five years trying to still figure out how to be a likeable person as if I'm not that right now

 

[element]

Most importantly, it depends on how attracted you two were to each other.

since it has been so long since my last first date, i don't even know how to judge that. I thought she was really cool, we had a fair amount in common, and she contacted me (okcupid).

 

[EXGN]

So... any help here? I just can never really tell. I've been told many times by people's friends that I completely missed some pretty obvious signs.

Always assume the sale. I think a lot of guys assume girls aren't into them until they "win them over." I always try to think the other way around - if they are talking to me, they are in to me until I blow it.

This way, you aren't sitting around waiting for some ridiculous/cryptic sign to know when you can properly make a move. Just be aggressive and push the relationship until its clear she DOESN'T like you.

 

[Locke_211]

I know everyone here will probably think this is a bad idea, but if I had a great time I'd send a message that night, not to arrange another meeting, just a brief 'had a really nice time' type text. Then I'd wait before confirming a second date.

 

[Beer Monkey]

Met this stunning girl last spring right after she started dating a new guy. This dude is extremely good looking and extremely athletic. He was ALL about her, very dedicated, focused, doted on her constantly, expressed his love and adoration perpetually.

She dumped him after five months for being too needy and wanting to get extremely serious very quickly. He is heartbroken.

Never put it on a pedestal. It really works against you, guys. If he had been more aloof and more unpredictable I'm almost certain they would still be together. This guy is a textbook case on how not to sustain a girl's interest.

She asked me to meet up this weekend. Not sure how it's going to go, but you can bet I'll be ignoring her part of the time.

 

[CPS2]

Ugh I don't want to post about this but I don't really have anyone I can talk to =/

Basically I just broke up with my GF, I feel like shit because she's on a student visa and basically has to leave the country now (there's about a year left, but she'll probably leave soon because she doesn't really have any reason to stay now). Also her phone is in my name, and cancelling the contract will cost her a bit over $1000.

How I feel now, is like I've said "You're dumped. Get out of the country and give me $1000." Like it feels really fucking bad. I'm pretty sure she won't harm herself or anything but I feel like an asshole.

I don't really feel guilty, I did as much as I could for her and the relationship to the point where it was obvious I was being manipulated. It got to a point where I couldn't stand being taken advantage of anymore, but I still love her and just feel like shit.

 

[cuevas. PhD.]

CPS2 go find a rebound.

 

[Aurora]

I assume that every girl in the city thinks I'm fucking amazing and they all want to suck my dick. It makes getting girls a lot easier.

 

[Host Samurai]

GAF. Ive been emotionally destroyed over the past few days where its draining. I can't sleep or concentrate on my work. I have been crazy about this girl for the past month and I screwed it up on my accord and feel awful about it, which sucks because I have so many good things happening in my life right now.

I try my best to never get emotionally attached to women, but this one got me big time. She is a 1 in 1000 and fits all the criteria on what I look for in a girl.

Here is the rundown on how I ruined my entire situation. I was suppose to take her out for a dinner one day during the week and she canceled. Her reason was kinda strange but I guess legit. It was because her parents made her go home because they were scared of a terrorist attack. I thought it was kinda funny/odd that she went with it. So when she said that I jokingly made a retarded remark that the Lincoln Tunnel blew up. Who would believe that? I also had no idea that the city was on high alert because I just woke up from the night before where I was hung over from Fashion Week parties.

She calls me up all shaken up. I feel awful at this point. My sick sense of humor when I was kinda drunk just killed me. She ends up ignoring me for a few days than I apologize to her at the end of next week saying that it was a terrible joke and I don't blame her for ignoring me.

She texts back saying im sorry for ignoring you and lets get together next week. I ask her if she has plans over the weekend and invited her to a party and possibly link up later. She said keep in touch.

Here is another mistake I made. I was out with some of my friends at a roof top club in NYC popping some bottles and I decide to text her if she wanted to join us....no response. Whatever. Next night Saturday I text her again if she wanted to link up...no response. I wait till the next Saturday to text her for some small talk and by this point she really didn't seem like she wanted to talk with her very short and brief messages. I ask her out for a nice dinner and she said "Can we go as friends". I write why change your mind but if that is how you feel I respect that and wish nothing but the best for you. I am happy to be your friend but I cant take you out as a friend.

No response after that, but this really emotionally drained me. I have been drinking heavily for the past 2 days and can't seem to sit still let alone sleep. I hate this feeling more than anything and don't know how to cope. I am probably going to hit up every club in NYC this week to get my mind off it.

Do you guys think there is anyway for me to fix this with her or do I just forget about her and move on?

 

[Rur0ni]

I write why change your mind but if that is how you feel I respect that and wish nothing but the best for you. I am happy to be your friend but I cant take you out as a friend.

No response after that, but this really emotionally drained me. I have been drinking heavily for the past 2 days and can't seem to sit still let alone sleep. I hate this feeling more than anything and don't know how to cope. I am probably going to hit up every club in NYC this week to get my mind off it.

Do you guys think there is anyway for me to fix this with her or do I just forget about her and move on?

Think you handled it well. Doesn't sound worth your time to try and "fix" it, it seems she's determined she's not interested in pursuing a relationship with you if she explicitly says she wants to go out as friends. Emotionally investing yourself further may be to your detriment. Solution? New girl.

 

[Atramental]

Move on and find a new girl.

From my perspective, it's pretty obvious that she doesn't want to be in any type of intimate relationship with you.

Also, don't joke about terrorism with someone who doesn't know your sense of humor. Some people (especially people in NYC) can get really offended by it.

 

[Beer Monkey]

I try my best to never get emotionally attached to women, but this one got me big time. She is a 1 in 1000 and fits all the criteria on what I look for in a girl.

Pedestal!

Man the fuck up and move on.

And don't send multiple unanswered texts!

 

[Host Samurai]

Move on and find a new girl.

From my perspective, it's pretty obvious that she doesn't want to be in any type of intimate relationship with you.

Also, don't joke about terrorism with someone who doesn't know your sense of humor. Some people (especially people in NYC) can get really offended by it.

I think I ruined the entire thing with that dumb comment. I really had no idea she would react to it. Apparently she was driving.

It sucks too because I felt she was very into me on Labor Day weekend. She slept over every night and we hooked up a bit and I took her out. She said I made her summer etc, said I can kiss her whenever I want. This sucks how one comment can ruin this entire thing.

 

[Beer Monkey]

This sucks how one comment can ruin this entire thing.

The next time something like this happens, tell them "if you overreact so much you are going to be too high maintenance for me. Call me if you rethink your attitude." Then walk. Never stay on the defensive.

 

[Spacebar]

Went out Saturday for my birthday. I blew any chances of talking to any women because I got blasted. My friends ended up taking me to a strip club after the bar and All I can remember is some girl named Angel bouncing up and down on my dick in the lap dance room. Feels good man.

At the bar one my friends was talking about hooking me up with one of her friends. She is really shy, but cute girl. She is also Asian which I've always wanted to date an Asian girl. lol She invited me to her house tonight to watch the Cowboys/Skins game tonight. I'm guessing she is inviting the Asian girl to set things in motion. Time to put in that work son!

 

[GiJoccin]

I met a friend of a friend over the weekend at a bar. She was really cute and we didn't talk THAT much but I could tell we'd get along. I ended up asking for her number and said we should hang out sometime. She said sure. I think I kind of messed up the next day and sent "Hey, I had a great time meeting you last night, let me know if you're free to grab drinks sometime this week."

to which she replied with "Hey, I had a great time meeting you too - this week is pretty crazy for me but I'll keep you posted?"

I know I sent a way too open ended text. I'm hoping it's salvageable, what do you guys think I should do? I was thinking about sending her a somewhat silly text with a more specific plan, maybe Wednesday for Thursday to grab a bite or some drinks, but wasn't sure if that was too soon.

 

[Spacebar]

I met a friend of a friend over the weekend at a bar. She was really cute and we didn't talk THAT much but I could tell we'd get along. I ended up asking for her number and said we should hang out sometime. She said sure. I think I kind of messed up the next day and sent "Hey, I had a great time meeting you last night, let me know if you're free to grab drinks sometime this week."

to which she replied with "Hey, I had a great time meeting you too - this week is pretty crazy for me but I'll keep you posted?"

I know I sent a way too open ended text. I'm hoping it's salvageable, what do you guys think I should do? I was thinking about sending her a somewhat silly text with a more specific plan, maybe Wednesday for Thursday to grab a bite or some drinks, but wasn't sure if that was too soon.

I would let it go until she texts you back. If she doesn't text you back by Friday then text her again saying you're going to X bar come up if you want to join. Don't put any of this "Let me know" garbage in your text. If she can't make it out that night I think she would provide a better alternative other than I'm really busy and I'll keep you posted again. If she doesn't respond to that then let her go. Whatever you do don't stress about it.

 

[soundahfekz]

I met a friend of a friend over the weekend at a bar. She was really cute and we didn't talk THAT much but I could tell we'd get along. I ended up asking for her number and said we should hang out sometime. She said sure. I think I kind of messed up the next day and sent "Hey, I had a great time meeting you last night, let me know if you're free to grab drinks sometime this week."

to which she replied with "Hey, I had a great time meeting you too - this week is pretty crazy for me but I'll keep you posted?"

I know I sent a way too open ended text. I'm hoping it's salvageable, what do you guys think I should do? I was thinking about sending her a somewhat silly text with a more specific plan, maybe Wednesday for Thursday to grab a bite or some drinks, but wasn't sure if that was too soon.

Don't say anything else back to her. It's not about showing discontent with the fact she put you on hold, but to show (for yourself mainly) that you have other things to do than sit anticipating the moment she decides she wants to go out with you.

Had a girl (who initiated with me crazy enough) hit me with "let me check some other plans I have and get back to you " after I suggested we hung out that weekend because she said she wouldn't be doing much besides homework.

I did not respond to that text (it's important NOT to confirm you're willing to set around and wait by saying "ok" or something) and the next day she came back with " Hey, I have earlier on Sunday free ". I let Sunday slide by without acknowledging that text as well. Halfway because I had other shit planned, and halfway because I'm not your backup plan and that had to be conveyed.

The next time we talk I guarantee I'll be a higher priority than "let me get back to you", as she now understands I'm not that kind of dude.

 

[SpectreFire]

So went out drinking with that girl over the weekend and I found out a few things.

1) We're both way more fun after drinking
2) BFF wasn't an ex. They just fooled around.
3) She doesn't really want a relationship (yet). It's for personal reasons that I didn't really care too much to delve into, and practical reasons because she moves around a lot.

I spent the night at her place again and this time I actually did make a move and we fooled around for a bit in our alcohol-fueled buzz.

And after all of that?

Yeah, I don't feel like I need to date her anymore. I think being good friends is the best path for me to go down (and no, it's not because she's awful in bed). I left the morning and I didn't feel that usual disinterest that immediately follows after I have a casual encounter with someone. I'm still completely interested in talking with her and hanging out. Hell, we're even planning a possible trip somewhere in the next few weeks. So all in all, I'm completely happy with how this turned out.

 

[Starchasing]

I met a friend of a friend over the weekend at a bar. She was really cute and we didn't talk THAT much but I could tell we'd get along. I ended up asking for her number and said we should hang out sometime. She said sure. I think I kind of messed up the next day and sent "Hey, I had a great time meeting you last night, let me know if you're free to grab drinks sometime this week."

to which she replied with "Hey, I had a great time meeting you too - this week is pretty crazy for me but I'll keep you posted?"

I know I sent a way too open ended text. I'm hoping it's salvageable, what do you guys think I should do? I was thinking about sending her a somewhat silly text with a more specific plan, maybe Wednesday for Thursday to grab a bite or some drinks, but wasn't sure if that was too soon.

I agree with soundahfekz, dont answer back. And next time you ask a girl out , find something to do for yourself and ask her to join you.