Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
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SuperAndroid17
Member
Kad5 said:
What the hell are you still doing? lol
Bail out and never contact this stupid girl again.
So fucked up
theignoramus
Member
Went out into the streets today and got another number, but fuck, it takes a man to persist when you keep running into girls who have boyfriends or at least claim they do. Its especially annoying when you realize you spend alot of energy being witty and funny for nothing.
I've been told by so many different sources with outstanding game to stay the fuck away from the bar and pub scene, it's a waste of money, etc, but it seems worth a try.
I've been told by so many different sources with outstanding game to stay the fuck away from the bar and pub scene, it's a waste of money, etc, but it seems worth a try.
boundedseven
Banned
So GAF here is my situation in a nutshell. Need advice on what to do next.
Outing 1: Met this girl through my cousin and we went out one night and got wasted. She said in the beginning this is not a date as she has just moved into the city and is looking to meet new friends. I said that's fine and at the end i dropped her home and got a friendly hug
Outing 2: I took her out with two friends (male + female) to Oktoberfest and she bought two of her cousins. We all hung out had a lot to drink and she liked my friends and her cousins liked me. We had a conversation that we are getting along so well and quickly becoming friends.
Outing 3: Took her to a romantic outdoor bar with a great view of the city. We sat on a reclining bed facing each other . It was a full moon and after a few drinks we were talking to each other saying how we are enjoying each others company and casually touching too. So I casually asked, is this like a date? And she instinctively goes No! What makes you think that. I responded it's a romantic setting with couples all around us and she says, we talked about about staying friends and I said we should be friends and a bit more. Then in tried to give her a kiss, and got shot down. Her reasoning was that a kiss only happens when she is dating. I countered with we can be friends and kiss, t and it does not mean that we've started dating.
Outing 4: Three days later I took her to an outdoor beach party and we talked about what happened last time. She said she felt a bit uncomfortably that I was hitting on her and I explained again that I just wanted a kiss and it did not define anything. We started dancing and due to the crowd, I bumped into her. She said I was trying to hit on her again and I said no it's because of the crowd. She again said we are not dating and if I want, I can date other girls and she won't mind (Not sure why that was said). Apart from this, evening went fineand we were talking, laughing and drinking and having a good time.
Now you can see why I call these outings and not dates
Now I'm not sure what to do GAF. I like the girl, we have great chemistry and it's fun hanging out with her, but I also want a romantic thing on instead of just staying in the friend zone.
A friend of mine suggested I should just be friends with her for now and see where it goes.
Outing 1: Met this girl through my cousin and we went out one night and got wasted. She said in the beginning this is not a date as she has just moved into the city and is looking to meet new friends. I said that's fine and at the end i dropped her home and got a friendly hug
Outing 2: I took her out with two friends (male + female) to Oktoberfest and she bought two of her cousins. We all hung out had a lot to drink and she liked my friends and her cousins liked me. We had a conversation that we are getting along so well and quickly becoming friends.
Outing 3: Took her to a romantic outdoor bar with a great view of the city. We sat on a reclining bed facing each other . It was a full moon and after a few drinks we were talking to each other saying how we are enjoying each others company and casually touching too. So I casually asked, is this like a date? And she instinctively goes No! What makes you think that. I responded it's a romantic setting with couples all around us and she says, we talked about about staying friends and I said we should be friends and a bit more. Then in tried to give her a kiss, and got shot down. Her reasoning was that a kiss only happens when she is dating. I countered with we can be friends and kiss, t and it does not mean that we've started dating.
Outing 4: Three days later I took her to an outdoor beach party and we talked about what happened last time. She said she felt a bit uncomfortably that I was hitting on her and I explained again that I just wanted a kiss and it did not define anything. We started dancing and due to the crowd, I bumped into her. She said I was trying to hit on her again and I said no it's because of the crowd. She again said we are not dating and if I want, I can date other girls and she won't mind (Not sure why that was said). Apart from this, evening went fineand we were talking, laughing and drinking and having a good time.
Now you can see why I call these outings and not dates
Now I'm not sure what to do GAF. I like the girl, we have great chemistry and it's fun hanging out with her, but I also want a romantic thing on instead of just staying in the friend zone.
A friend of mine suggested I should just be friends with her for now and see where it goes.
Bail out? She obviously doesn't know what she wants and she doesn't want to date anyone. You have already been friend-zoned and shot down multiple times. Respect her wishes and move on.
If you want to stay friends with her, that's fine, but if you are not able to keep your emotions/feelings in check, then you should let her go.
If you want to stay friends with her, that's fine, but if you are not able to keep your emotions/feelings in check, then you should let her go.
CherryWoodFuton
Member
Fixed.boundedseven said:
boundedseven said:
I know what it's like to wade through the dating world for a while and to stumble across a girl who seems just your type, only to have no opportunity to do anything about it. However, dwelling and attempting to get with her over and over isn't doing you any favours with her, and it's wasting your time. You can find another girl that you really like. She's not interested, and if you can just be her friend, do so.
boundedseven
Banned
reilo said:
I have a feeling if I stay friends and be consistent, I might be able to win her over. She wants me to come over to her new place soon as is willing to cook, whatever I like to eat.
I feel if I let her go now, it would be tragic
Oh young one. You have so much to learn.boundedseven said:
Tragic? You know what would be tragic?
Tragic would be if you consistently pursued her and constantly got shot down until one day she completely rips your heart out when she tells you she's been banging another dude. That's tragic.
She's been extremely explicit from the get-go that she isn't looking to date anyone -- or rather, she's not looking to date you. How about you respect that and quit pursuing her?
boundedseven
Banned
reilo said:
I hear you buddy, but I didn't mean I would consistently hit on her and get myself torn apart. For now I just stay friends and see what happens, without getting emotionally involved.
I've only known the girl for 2 weeks so, maybe things we are still new to each other. Trying to figure out a smart way to execute this.
Ninja_Hawk
Member
boundedseven said:
boundedseven
Banned
Ninja_Hawk said:
HA! Thanks for that
Girl I have a crush on was about to go to a party with me and another friend, but she just said she got sick from something she ate.
I'm wondering if I should text her tomorrow and ask if she feels better, and ask her to go for a drink if she's free and feels better.
Would be the first time I'd hang out with her all alone, although I've picked her up to go to a party by myself before, but offcourse there were some other people she knew at that party, she stayed with me during the party though.
So yeah, if she refuses atleast I know she only sees me as someone to go partying with and nothing more, right?
I'm wondering if I should text her tomorrow and ask if she feels better, and ask her to go for a drink if she's free and feels better.
Would be the first time I'd hang out with her all alone, although I've picked her up to go to a party by myself before, but offcourse there were some other people she knew at that party, she stayed with me during the party though.
So yeah, if she refuses atleast I know she only sees me as someone to go partying with and nothing more, right?
Bleghh. The crush that I have on my lady friend who has a boyfriend is getting worse.
She texted me yesterday if I was still up for getting a beer. Some other friends had cancelled but I was totally up for it, besides we've drank beers together without the other guy friends before. So I went for a beer together with her and some of her female friends. We had a great drunken blast. Fun night all around. Then at around 2 AM the sambuca was basically getting in a fight with the beer in my body and I decided it was best to call it a night. She also decided to head home, as we usually tend to leave at the same time. Five minutes later we come to the section where our paths split. We always kiss each other good night and last night was no different. So we both stop and get off our bikes (The Netherlands + drinking
) for a bit. We give each other three kisses on the cheeks, but instead of heading straight home we end up talking to each other there, in the middle of the road at 2AM, for another hour. I don't exactly know what happened or how, but the conversation became somewhat emotional and intimate. She wasn't crying or anything dramatic, but she talked about some things that appeared close to her heart. I've only known this girl for less than a year, but I feel right then and there she decided that she trusts me a lot. I suspect more than quite a few of her long time friends. It is at this point in the night that I put my arm around her, rubbed her back (freezing outside) and provided a listening ear and gave her some of my input. Meanwhile she is constantly leaning her head sideways into mine. At around 3AM we decide to actually head home. We kiss goodbye again and included a good night hug where she rests her head on my shoulder for a bit and, this may sound a bit weird and specific, sniffs my neck/shoulder area.
About 10 minutes after I get home she texts me to say she is in bed and to ask whether I made it home safely. Again something that's slightly out of the ordinary because we never text right after going out. We exchange a few messages and end with the usual "x" bullshit, but instead of just simple Xx she gives me like ten Xses as well as a written "kiss" at the end. Now I know not to any stock in "kisses" in text messages from women. It's just what they do and I roll with it, but this also struck me as out of the ordinary.
I feel conflicted about last night. On the one hand I feel like I may have made some progress with her. On the other hand I may have put myself into the corner of the "good friend" who is a shoulder to cry, which is terrible. There is little I can do about it either. I would have kissed her last night if she had been single. The moment was perfect, but considering she is in a relationship my hands are tied. I know not to put much hope into her breaking up with the her current boyfriend to get with me. Their relationship seems healthy so I don't see it happening. But man, if only. Being around her is just effortless. There are very few women with whom you find such a great "click". There have only been three in my (young) adult live and I fucked up on the first two.
A little extra info on last night:
I'm hosting a dinner for a different "closer" group of friends of mine next Saturday. In general I don't mix these groups of friends because they are quite different from one another.That said, yesterday she basically invited herself to the dinner at my place. I told her that was fine, on the condition that there was no backing out now and that she'd help me cook dinner, to which she agreed. So now she is getting a proper meet and greet with my "normal" group of friends.
No real questions here, but input is welcome. I just needed to drop this story somewhere, live journal style. It's been haunting me the entire day.
She texted me yesterday if I was still up for getting a beer. Some other friends had cancelled but I was totally up for it, besides we've drank beers together without the other guy friends before. So I went for a beer together with her and some of her female friends. We had a great drunken blast. Fun night all around. Then at around 2 AM the sambuca was basically getting in a fight with the beer in my body and I decided it was best to call it a night. She also decided to head home, as we usually tend to leave at the same time. Five minutes later we come to the section where our paths split. We always kiss each other good night and last night was no different. So we both stop and get off our bikes (The Netherlands + drinking
) for a bit. We give each other three kisses on the cheeks, but instead of heading straight home we end up talking to each other there, in the middle of the road at 2AM, for another hour. I don't exactly know what happened or how, but the conversation became somewhat emotional and intimate. She wasn't crying or anything dramatic, but she talked about some things that appeared close to her heart. I've only known this girl for less than a year, but I feel right then and there she decided that she trusts me a lot. I suspect more than quite a few of her long time friends. It is at this point in the night that I put my arm around her, rubbed her back (freezing outside) and provided a listening ear and gave her some of my input. Meanwhile she is constantly leaning her head sideways into mine. At around 3AM we decide to actually head home. We kiss goodbye again and included a good night hug where she rests her head on my shoulder for a bit and, this may sound a bit weird and specific, sniffs my neck/shoulder area.About 10 minutes after I get home she texts me to say she is in bed and to ask whether I made it home safely. Again something that's slightly out of the ordinary because we never text right after going out. We exchange a few messages and end with the usual "x" bullshit, but instead of just simple Xx she gives me like ten Xses as well as a written "kiss" at the end. Now I know not to any stock in "kisses" in text messages from women. It's just what they do and I roll with it, but this also struck me as out of the ordinary.
I feel conflicted about last night. On the one hand I feel like I may have made some progress with her. On the other hand I may have put myself into the corner of the "good friend" who is a shoulder to cry, which is terrible. There is little I can do about it either. I would have kissed her last night if she had been single. The moment was perfect, but considering she is in a relationship my hands are tied. I know not to put much hope into her breaking up with the her current boyfriend to get with me. Their relationship seems healthy so I don't see it happening. But man, if only. Being around her is just effortless. There are very few women with whom you find such a great "click". There have only been three in my (young) adult live and I fucked up on the first two.
A little extra info on last night:
I'm hosting a dinner for a different "closer" group of friends of mine next Saturday. In general I don't mix these groups of friends because they are quite different from one another.That said, yesterday she basically invited herself to the dinner at my place. I told her that was fine, on the condition that there was no backing out now and that she'd help me cook dinner, to which she agreed. So now she is getting a proper meet and greet with my "normal" group of friends.
No real questions here, but input is welcome. I just needed to drop this story somewhere, live journal style. It's been haunting me the entire day.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Cut contact. I don't know the background of your friendship or if you're forced to see each other frequently (school, work, etc), but no good will come of this. You're the emotional tampon and there will literally never be progress in getting out of the friend zone with her. Sorry dude.Danielsan said:
Figured this would be the answer. Won't be cutting contact but because I enjoy her friendship just fine. Met her through other friends at the end of last year. She was already unavailable when I met her.Etrian Oddity said:
I've been dating a few other women in the meanwhile, but nothing has come of it. Had a second date with one of them two weeks ago. We kissed, but there was no spark, no real connection, so we decided to end it. Didn't really mind. I knew from minute one that there was no future there, but I would have at least liked to have gotten laid. Ahh well, that's life.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Well that's good to hear. I still advise you at least lessen the contact with the other girl, though. Maybe not cut her entirely, but certainly prevent those "xoxo" text scenarios from occurring.Danielsan said:
* ~ * ~ *
Gonna try to get something going on with that girl I met last week. We have a break between classes at the same time, so that'll be the way into chatting; but I need to start planning for a date proper.
Will be keeping contact to the basics after this next week, when we'll be seeing each other almost non-stop for two days in a row. I'm both a realist and a dreamer. It's simple, she's unavailable. My hands were tied from the start and now I'm probably just a friend. Definitely not falling in the trap of completely pining for her and not looking for actual single women. That said, I can't help but to keep a tiny speck of hope alive while I try to meet other women.Etrian Oddity said:
Etrian Oddity
Member
Love tailgate, so many sexy girls in daisy dukes and cowgirl boots, haha. God I love college, I need to start making random approaches more often, or else I'm gonna look back with so many regrets at not doing it.
Hey
been seeing this girl for nearly 4 months and things are going real good.
dated her last year but when i asked her out she was seeing somebody else which soon got serious so we stopped. 4 months later they broke up so after about 4 months i asked her out again.
spent tons of time together. going to gigs, out too clubs, just out for food, went shopping with her to buy a dress for her bday etc see her at least once a week.
hadnt dated any body in a good bit but was still fairly confident
couldnt be going better. got a txt of her after a night out "your cuddles and caressing is out of this world. i sent "when im caressing you..nothing else id rather be doing". she txt back "i appreciate the txt,i feel the same"
recently booked a holiday to amsterdam with a mate. she gave me the look and said "what are you doing in amsterdam".
il admit coz we always have a gd time and always spend the night laughing ive sometimes thought, is she just here for a good time.
so we are out last week alls good. cant remember how it came up but i actually said this too her(what a fucking mug).
she looked at me like, you mad... and said "i love spending time with you" she asked why i would say that and i thought for a few seconds and couldnt dig my way out and actually said "self doubt"(what a fucking mug). there was awkwardness for ten mins or so then i got it back on track, we sat outside my flat in her car for an hour(decorating at the moment).
this bits a bit porno sounding, fuck it
got my hands on her tits for the first time and she was rubbing my dick for a bit,for the first time
before she left she asked if i was gonna be finished decorating by the time shes back from her holiday (shes back on wednesday and im not far from done. at least a weeks work)
so we are pretty much an item and i still nearly fuck it up
sorry if that went on a bit
just posting this to say stick at it theres nice girls everywhere
il maybe post when shes back from her holiday...depends how it goes
love to everybody on GAF
been seeing this girl for nearly 4 months and things are going real good.
dated her last year but when i asked her out she was seeing somebody else which soon got serious so we stopped. 4 months later they broke up so after about 4 months i asked her out again.
spent tons of time together. going to gigs, out too clubs, just out for food, went shopping with her to buy a dress for her bday etc see her at least once a week.
hadnt dated any body in a good bit but was still fairly confident
couldnt be going better. got a txt of her after a night out "your cuddles and caressing is out of this world. i sent "when im caressing you..nothing else id rather be doing". she txt back "i appreciate the txt,i feel the same"
recently booked a holiday to amsterdam with a mate. she gave me the look and said "what are you doing in amsterdam".
il admit coz we always have a gd time and always spend the night laughing ive sometimes thought, is she just here for a good time.
so we are out last week alls good. cant remember how it came up but i actually said this too her(what a fucking mug).
she looked at me like, you mad... and said "i love spending time with you" she asked why i would say that and i thought for a few seconds and couldnt dig my way out and actually said "self doubt"(what a fucking mug). there was awkwardness for ten mins or so then i got it back on track, we sat outside my flat in her car for an hour(decorating at the moment).
this bits a bit porno sounding, fuck it
got my hands on her tits for the first time and she was rubbing my dick for a bit,for the first time
before she left she asked if i was gonna be finished decorating by the time shes back from her holiday (shes back on wednesday and im not far from done. at least a weeks work)
so we are pretty much an item and i still nearly fuck it up
sorry if that went on a bit
just posting this to say stick at it theres nice girls everywhere
il maybe post when shes back from her holiday...depends how it goes
love to everybody on GAF
Was supposed to meet someone this afternoon that I had met online for a lunch date. She bailed at the last minute, saying she "just wasn't ready." The fuck? Why did she accept my date invite in the first place then?
3 months since my ex ended things, and I haven't gotten fucking anywhere with anyone. It's getting really frustrating, to say the least.
3 months since my ex ended things, and I haven't gotten fucking anywhere with anyone. It's getting really frustrating, to say the least.
Xun said:
Hey, you made progress. The fact that you locked it and didn't wuss out was great. It's a great feeling, eh? It's like electricity shoots through your body when someone actually holds eye contact with you, in my opinion.
She was honest. At least she didn't give some bullshit excuse like, "Oh, my cat is sick can't come out xoxo!"Blader5489 said:
You're probably not over your ex if you're frustrated and/or trying to rush back into things already.
theignoramus
Member
so what are folks' opinions on the bar and pub scene in large cities?
Attackthebase
Member
Blader5489 said:
Just relax, man. Enjoy the single life; the life is truly superb.
cuevas. PhD.
Member
theignoramus said:
ton of slobs to go around.
Bah, I had an open field goal last night with a Spanish chick and I trip over the ball xD Did some cute hand cheek kino as I left her and she looked kinda surprised/disappointed that I didn't suggest we go home together, and I have absolutely no idea why I didn't... I'm just retarded that way I guess She even gave me the biggest warm smile and a wave outside the club as I was standing around with my friends and she even had a cute friend with her. Yeah, fml, hehe.
This is the second time I've met her and it's becoming more and more apparent that I'M the one who needs comfort building before I dare to escalate, not the girls xD Doesn't really matter if I'm interested or not, I open up on the second meeting like clockwork.
She even gave me the biggest warm smile and a wave outside the club as I was standing around with my friends and she even had a cute friend with her. Yeah, fml, hehe.This is the second time I've met her and it's becoming more and more apparent that I'M the one who needs comfort building before I dare to escalate, not the girls xD Doesn't really matter if I'm interested or not, I open up on the second meeting like clockwork.
theignoramus
Member
what's the general rule of thumb on how long to wait until calling a girl. Got this girl's number yesterday afternoon at a bus stop...was thinking about calling her today, but is that too soon?
(I cant send her a text, because this is a land line. she says her cell phone is busted)
(I cant send her a text, because this is a land line. she says her cell phone is busted)
Ninja_Hawk
Member
Nope. You met her yesterday, casual talk is fine, you don't want her to not remember you.theignoramus said:
Girlfriend basically threatened suicide if I break up with her. I can't stand being with her anymore; I'm actually failing shit in uni because of the stress. I've NEVER failed at anything school related before. I'm a straight A student.
I doesn't help that I'm falling hard for a girl I've met recently.
What the hell do I do?
I doesn't help that I'm falling hard for a girl I've met recently.
What the hell do I do?
theignoramus said:
A lot of people here tend to over think this or tend to say to wait too long. Fuck it, call her tonight. Better than having to wait all day tomorrow after work.
Ichor said:
Break up with her. She's most likely bluffing and attempting to make assume onus for the outcome of your relationship. She's trying to be a victim. Fuck that noise. Her assertion of committing suicide is a weak ass cop out.
Tell her you're through and be done with it. Get as far away from her crazy ass as possible and focus on school.
Future PhaZe
Member
Ichor said:
bail the fuck out
10% chance she kills herself
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Break up with her and tell her family that she may be suicidal.
WyndhamPrice
Member
Met a girl at a party the other night and had a good time. She's one of the new girls in the women's acapella group on campus and we (being the men's group) had a big get together so the groups could party it up now that we have our new people for the year.
Totally missed it when she left (it was kind of a crazy night), but last night she randomly texted me out of nowhere saying "sorry for being such a creeper but I got your number off your facebook, what are you doing tonight?"
Unfortunately I was on duty last night and couldn't leave my hall, but she said we should see each other soon.
Getting interest out of nowhere is like the best thing ever.
Totally missed it when she left (it was kind of a crazy night), but last night she randomly texted me out of nowhere saying "sorry for being such a creeper but I got your number off your facebook, what are you doing tonight?"
Unfortunately I was on duty last night and couldn't leave my hall, but she said we should see each other soon.
Getting interest out of nowhere is like the best thing ever.
cuevas. PhD.
Member
RA? if so, you already lost.WyndhamPrice said:
WyndhamPrice
Member
cuevas said:
I can assure you, in my experience in the position, that I have not.
I have to wonder where your impression comes from.
theignoramus
Member
Plenty of fish is such a fucking joke. Messaged like 50+ women with a good opener, have a decent profile up, and above average pics....got one response.
Street pick ups is where its at.
I have very little approach anxiety going up to a cute girl standing still or sitting down and I can generally spit game with a girl who is walking in the same direction as me (or I'll speed walk to the next light/intersection, then kind of saunter up next to them) but holy shit, cold approaching a hot woman walking intently in the opposite direction is scary. I havnt done it yet, but I know if I do this a dozen or so times, it will destroy any remaining approach anxiety I have.
But fuck it's so hard to convince myself to do it. My mind talks me out of it every time. Anyone have any suggestions, beyond starting in with some precanned stuff?
(which i generally avoid. Maybe it's my ego, but I like coming up with stuff off the cuff, conversations feel more natural and enjoyable that way.)
Street pick ups is where its at.
I have very little approach anxiety going up to a cute girl standing still or sitting down and I can generally spit game with a girl who is walking in the same direction as me (or I'll speed walk to the next light/intersection, then kind of saunter up next to them) but holy shit, cold approaching a hot woman walking intently in the opposite direction is scary. I havnt done it yet, but I know if I do this a dozen or so times, it will destroy any remaining approach anxiety I have.
But fuck it's so hard to convince myself to do it. My mind talks me out of it every time. Anyone have any suggestions, beyond starting in with some precanned stuff?
(which i generally avoid. Maybe it's my ego, but I like coming up with stuff off the cuff, conversations feel more natural and enjoyable that way.)
DualShadow
Member
I've been thinking about removing my online profiles because I seem to be doing so much better just meeting chicks when I go out or through friends.
Blader5489 said:
I mean this in the sense that you're probably wanting so badly to get something/anything from a girl that they can smell it. You might be trying too hard.
I know that around here we always say, "Fuck it, go for it!" But you might want to think specifically about how you're approaching women.
The bolded bit makes it seem like really want to just get laid. We all do. But you might be reeking of desperation in your approaches. It's said that women can instantly smell when you want something from them and I think that's true. So, then, how are you approaching them? Are you making it seem like you want to get together with them or are you offering/inviting them to something you already have planned?
Try mixing it up a bit, that's all. Don't get frustrated when things don't work out. I always used to get frustrated with myself when I went out with the sole intentions of getting action from girls, because most of the time I'd subconsciously fuck it up before I even approached girls. Then, I shifted my focus from getting action/numbers to just having fun -- I found that I had fun first, and then -- for some reason -- since I wasn't focusing on getting girls, it happened anyway and moreso than before.
Ichor said:
Just break up with her ASAP. You need to be an asshole. Do the prep before hand. Change her number to "DO NOT ANSWER" (because she's going to call for a bit afterwards.) and make sure you write down her number so that you can recognize it in your voicemail. When you recognize the number coming up, do not fucking listen to it -- delete it right away. Take all of the shit you have of hers lying around that she gave to you or whatever -- and throw it the fuck out. Yes, actually do this.
Then, once you've done all of this and realize that there's no backing out -- because you'd have to dig through the garbage to get her shit back and re-correct her contact info -- you go over there and drop the fucking bomb. Keep your shoes and coat on. You say what you have to say quickly and calmly, and you get the fuck out. She starts crying? You don't fucking stay. You leave. She follows you into the street? You keep fucking walking. Do not stop. Whatever you do, do not stop. Have a buddy wait outside with a car, preferably.
You're going to have to be strong, but this is for you. She's threatening you, making you feel like shit, and it's taking a toll on your future and your life. Do not let her do this any longer.
I've had this done to me a few times and this approach helped me a lot the last time I had to break up with someone. She followed me out into the street wrapped in a bed sheet and crying, but I walked the fuck away. (I even had ex one cut her foot on glass as I left.) It sucked, it hurt me to do it to her, but it was better for me in the end. Don't let someone push you around in that situation -- because the second they start threatening you like that, they no longer care about you. They're selfish and not worth your time anymore.
It's hard but just remember you're doing it for yourself. I remember one of the two times I successfully employed this approach I was so worn out that, as soon as I got back to my place, I just unloaded and cried. It sucked to do it but I'm so glad I did. Both of the girls I had to do this to are in a much better place in their life now, and even thanked me for it and apologized for being such bitches in the past. Think long-term. You're going to be better off and they should be alright too.
Xun said:
Even small progress is better than no progress, Xun. No matter what you do, don't look upon things as in, "Man, I should've done more," instead, turn it into, "Wow, I wouldn't have done that a year ago. I'm changing for the better!" Re-framing things into a positive light works wonders. Soon you'll be so positive that you'll wonder how you could be so negative in the past. Thing still get me down from time to time, but I literally just say to myself, "Man, you're such a dummy for stressing over small shit like that," and then I laugh it off. It usually puts a smile on my face too, thinking how silly I can be sometimes. :]
You're doing well, keep it up!
soultron said:
I know you're right, but fuck man I never expected it to be this hard, it makes it even worse that she lives with me. Her leaving means more rent for me, and then where the hell does she go? She doesn't even have any friends in this city. This is only my second serious relationship and in the last one, the break up was so easy.
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