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[soultron]

I know you're right, but fuck man I never expected it to be this hard, it makes it even worse that she lives with me. Her leaving means more rent for me, and then where the hell does she go? She doesn't even have any friends in this city. This is only my second serious relationship and in the last one, the break up was so easy.

You need to figure something out. Find a new place for yourself or try to find a buddy to live with or something. Can you cancel your lease?

---

I work with a former beauty queen. What the shit. She's a super nice girl and we had a sweet conversation about how awesome it is to pop zits at work the other day. Bad news is that she has a BF so I ain't touching that with a ten foot pole.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

You're supposed to touch her with your penis.

 

[soultron]

Hah. I don't feel like wrecking house, especially not someone I work with.

 

[Eggo]

You need to figure something out. Find a new place for yourself or try to find a buddy to live with or something. Can you cancel your lease?

---

I work with a former beauty queen. What the shit. She's a super nice girl and we had a sweet conversation about how awesome it is to pop zits at work the other day. Bad news is that she has a BF so I ain't touching that with a ten foot pole.

A hot female friend is the ultimate social proof. Think long-term.

 

[soultron]

A hot female friend is the ultimate social proof. Think long-term.

Yeah, good point. I've made friends with most of the women I work with and it's already been paying off. I work with a great group of people, all in all. It's expanded my social circle quite nicely. Even our clients are great to talk to and build connections with.

Very pleased with my new job. c:

 

[Quick]

I just got my co-worker's number. I asked her if she was on Facebook, and she said she doesn't use it, and gave me her number instead.

We've only worked together a few times since our schedules don't seem to mesh, but when we do, we're always talking and joking around. I have a crush on her (clearly), and I'd really like to take our friendship past the "friends at work" stage.

I don't think I've actually had to think about something like this before with other people, but I just don't want to screw this up. At the same time, I'm expecting things to just fall into place. I attempted to ask her for lunch at a good restaurant by her school by mentioning the place and asking if she knew it, and she said she knows of it, but doesn't like spicy food. I'll consider that 0/1 in my attempt.

I don't want to seem too forward, as well, but I'm kind of clueless on how to go about this. I figured I could ask her out to watch a movie with some of my friends and hers, but that seems like a terrible idea.

Last year, I was in the same sort of situation with another co-worker, who had left earlier this year, and I never got the chance to even get her number. I made a feeble attempt to ask her out to watch a Blue Jays game, but it coincided with her exams, so I got shot down with that.

I'm probably over-thinking this. Haha.

 

[soultron]

A date with friends isn't a date. Just the two of you.

 

[Quick]

A date with friends isn't a date. Just the two of you.

Yeah. Exactly why it's a terrible idea.

 

[soultron]

Yeah. Exactly why it's a terrible idea.

Do you have a camera? (Does she?) Doctor Who's photo-walk-date idea is great. Take her to some of your favourite spots in Toronto, take turns taking pictures, walk, chat, and maybe throw some coffee or desert in there.

 

[Quick]

Do you have a camera? (Does she?) Doctor Who's photo-walk-date idea is great. Take her to some of your favourite spots in Toronto, take turns taking pictures, walk, chat, and maybe throw some coffee or desert in there.

Seems quite elaborate and out of the box. I do have a camera, yes. This is a great idea, which I will heavily consider doing.

 

[Mully]

Just ended my relationship with a beautiful and loving girl this past weekend. I still love her and want to get back together. She still loves me too, but sometimes when I get drunk, I vent to her or just plain ruin her night. It's been happening too often these past few months and we're not talking til atleast Thanksgiving.

I don't want to be single. I want to be with her, but obviously we both need the time to deliberate and for me to get my shit together. I don't know what to do.

 

[daviyoung]

Just ended my relationship with a beautiful and loving girl this past weekend. I still love her and want to get back together. She still loves me too, but sometimes when I get drunk, I vent to her or just plain ruin her night. It's been happening too often these past few months and we're not talking til atleast Thanksgiving.

I don't want to be single. I want to be with her, but obviously we both need the time to deliberate and for me to get my shit together. I don't know what to do.

Get your shit together by knowing your alcohol limits and getting to the root of what's really bothering you.

 

[TheVampire]

Hey guys I need some first date advice with a girl.

We have agreed to goto this Armageddon Expo at the Melbourne Exhibition Centre.
Its like some big thing for games,tvshows,movies,anime etc.. with the actors there.

Im just wondering if I should pick her up and drive her there or just meet her at the place in the city?

If I want to end the day it would be awkward having to drive her back and all that.

Thoughts?

 

[DualShadow]

Hey guys I need some first date advice with a girl.

We have agreed to goto this Armageddon Expo at the Melbourne Exhibition Centre.
Its like some big thing for games,tvshows,movies,anime etc.. with the actors there.

Im just wondering if I should pick her up and drive her there or just meet her at the place in the city?

If I want to end the day it would be awkward having to drive her back and all that.

Thoughts?

I wouldn't pick up a chick on the first date for the exact reason you mentioned.

If things go shit then you're pretty much stuck with her until you drive her home, guess you could bail on her but that would be pretty slack.

 

[theignoramus]

congrats, man. I'm still not able to do this and resort to dating sites. I miss a lot of opportunities in result but I'm not sure when I'll be able to muster enough courage and confidence to start talking with girls just like that.

an extremely useful technique for dealing with approach anxiety (youtube video)
Follow the instructions, repeat as necessary. A 5 year old could do this and it requires nothing other than 15 minutes of your time. It doesnt eliminate approach anxiety, but it significantly reduces it. I can vouch for that.
Really, it's useful for "X" phobia. It could be approaching girls. It could be spiders. It could be public speeches. But it works.

 

[The Elite]

Whisky Dick? Does it exist?

I had this issue pop up (err, well not really) with a girl after have a few beers and a couple of shots. I think it was the shots that did me in. I usually try to control my drinking before being with a girl but this particular girl loved to drink so I just continued.

Anyways, she didn't believe me and thought the issue was her. Things got pretty ugly after that. I was surprised to think that someone actually thought this issue didn't exist and that I was being silly/making an excuse.

Thoughts?

 

[soultron]

Whisky Dick? Does it exist?

I had this issue pop up (err, well not really) with a girl after have a few beers and a couple of shots. I think it was the shots that did me in. I usually try to control my drinking before being with a girl but this particular girl loved to drink so I just continued.

Anyways, she didn't believe me and thought the issue was her. Things got pretty ugly after that. I was surprised to think that someone actually thought this issue didn't exist and that I was being silly/making an excuse.

Thoughts?

She was being terribly insecure about it. And yes, it does happen. Happened to me a few times. Could be that you just can't finish, can't stay hard very long, or just can't even get it up to begin with.

 

[The Elite]

She was being terribly insecure about it. And yes, it does happen. Happened to me a few times. Could be that you just can't finish, can't stay hard very long, or just can't even get it up to begin with.

My thoughts as well. Still, it was very disheartening at the time. Managed to get things working enough to have sex, couldn't finish though.

 

[Aurora]

Of course it happens, how naive is she?

For me it's bad to the point where I'll bring the girl back home and tell her we can fuck in the morning.

 

[The Elite]

Of course it happens, how naive is she?

For me it's bad to the point where I'll bring the girl back home and tell her we can fuck in the morning.

I'm good with pleasuring the girl in other ways but she was still pretty pissed with the fact I couldn't keep it up. I was kind of surprised to encounter someone who didn't know that it happened.

I was numb and a little dizzy. Keeping my penis up was the least of my worries. I just didn't want to throw up on her.

 

[soultron]

I'm good with pleasuring the girl in other ways but she was still pretty pissed with the fact I couldn't keep it up. I was kind of surprised to encounter someone who didn't know that it happened.

I was numb and a little dizzy. Keeping my penis up was the least of my worries. I just didn't want to throw up on her.

Gooood thing you didn't tell her that. She probably would've taken that as you finding her, quite literally, revolting. Haha.

 

[Ermac]

So what's standard protocol on OKCupid? I've been messaging this girl back and forth, we have some things in common.

Coffee, lunch, or dinner?

 

[The Elite]

So what's standard protocol on OKCupid? I've been messaging this girl back and forth, we have some things in common.

Coffee, lunch, or dinner?

Coffee or drinks. I try not to do food on the first date unless it's something small.

 

[soundahfekz]

Whisky Dick? Does it exist?

I had this issue pop up (err, well not really) with a girl after have a few beers and a couple of shots. I think it was the shots that did me in. I usually try to control my drinking before being with a girl but this particular girl loved to drink so I just continued.

Anyways, she didn't believe me and thought the issue was her. Things got pretty ugly after that. I was surprised to think that someone actually thought this issue didn't exist and that I was being silly/making an excuse.

Thoughts?

It definitely exists, and there's two types.

#1 You aren't able to get it up at all -- she's gonna be mad at you because you can't get your dick to function to get in there.

#2 you are able to get an erection but can't concentrate on the task and thus don't finish -- she's going to be upset because she thinks you're not turned on by her, or start having doubts that she feels loose, etc.

Either situation calls for a trashing of immense proportions the next time you have the opportunity to get it in!

 

[Etrian Oddity]

I'm getting very tired of being disappointed.

 

[Mully]

So I'm officially single. I don't want to be. I don't want anything right now but to share a bed with my ex and just look into her eyes. Fuck man, this girl is making me cry.

 

[DualShadow]

Got a date with a chick I met on an online site.

Told I was heading down to the local for some pool/drinks and she should come down, she agreed but is bringing her cousin (what?).

I'll probably have to get my brother to come down with me now to even the numbers up.

Edit:Just found out she's bringing her cousin so she can have a few drinks and not worry about driving, at least there is a reason.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

So I'm officially single. I don't want to be. I don't want anything right now but to share a bed with my ex and just look into her eyes. Fuck man, this girl is making me cry.

I know that feeling. Im passing all the one year 'anniversarys' of things i did with my ex this time last year and its really getting me down. Seriously. My birthday last week was shit. i went for a meal with my family and got a few games. barely touched them, who cares about fucking computer games when you've lost the one you love and cant get her back. Puts things into perspective big time. Fuck this life, its just one kick in the nuts after another.

 

[NihonTiger90]

Hah. I don't feel like wrecking house, especially not someone I work with.

Good call.

 

[Blader]

So I'm officially single. I don't want to be. I don't want anything right now but to share a bed with my ex and just look into her eyes. Fuck man, this girl is making me cry.

I feel ya, man. I was in your shoes for a couple months. Then I found out she's fucking other guys now, so all of my misplaced love for her has since been replaced with just anger and resentment. :lol

 

[Mully]

I know that feeling. Im passing all the one year 'anniversarys' of things i did with my ex this time last year and its really getting me down. Seriously. My birthday last week was shit. i went for a meal with my family and got a few games. barely touched them, who cares about fucking computer games when you've lost the one you love and cant get her back. Puts things into perspective big time. Fuck this life, its just one kick in the nuts after another.

Sucks more that I've been with this girl for nearly three years. We talked about a wedding, a ring, a house, family, everything. This girl was the girl. I hope I can rectify everything at some point. She has no interest in that right now though.

She said she's been losing interest for a while and last Friday night was the last straw. She had enough after I drunk argued with her again. I love this girl.

That's her and I on the right last year. On the way home that night she told me that I was the one and she wanted to be with me forever. I can't believe I fucked it all up.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

At least you're still in contact, so all is not lost my friend. Lay off the drink and she'll come around Im sure. You must kick the booze though...

My ex went off with some dude and won't even speak to me. i thought they possibly ended a few months ago so i sent her a letter for her birthday in August saying id love to catch up sometime (we broke up due to distance, not because we fell out).. never heard back. I know everyone will say move on, she's not worth it, blah I've heard it all before. Right now i dont give a shit about any other girl. I cant get over her and will probably never find anyone i liked on the same scale. Its a bitter pill to swallow when u feel you either have to be alone or end up with someone who you dont like as much as an ex. Im rambling on and on i know, but sometimes you gotta get the shit out! Lol

 

[johnny_park]

What does it mean when a girl calls you safe? I asked her what she likes about me and she said I was nice and safe. I took it as that there was no risk with dating me.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Sucks more that I've been with this girl for nearly three years. We talked about a wedding, a ring, a house, family, everything. This girl was the girl. I hope I can rectify everything at some point. She has no interest in that right now though.

She said she's been losing interest for a while and last Friday night was the last straw. She had enough after I drunk argued with her again. I love this girl.

That's her and I on the right last year. On the way home that night she told me that I was the one and she wanted to be with me forever. I can't believe I fucked it all up.

This just happened to me too. Six years. Lived together for three. Just moved two weeks ago. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. You don't realize all the little shit that gets connected over 6 years. I miss her. That's really all I think about.

 

[Snakeyes]

What does it mean when a girl calls you safe? I asked her what she likes about me and she said I was nice and safe. I took it as that there was no risk with dating me.

Could mean a lot of things based on the context.

If you're not dating yet then you're almost stuck in the friendzone. The only girl that told me that "you're safe" was a girl that wasn't very attracted to me, and the feeling was mutual. We remained good friends though.

"I feel safe with you" after you've already gotten physical with her is a different story.

 

[soultron]

At least you're still in contact, so all is not lost my friend. Lay off the drink and she'll come around Im sure. You must kick the booze though...

My ex went off with some dude and won't even speak to me. i thought they possibly ended a few months ago so i sent her a letter for her birthday in August saying id love to catch up sometime (we broke up due to distance, not because we fell out).. never heard back. I know everyone will say move on, she's not worth it, blah I've heard it all before. Right now i dont give a shit about any other girl. I cant get over her and will probably never find anyone i liked on the same scale. Its a bitter pill to swallow when u feel you either have to be alone or end up with someone who you dont like as much as an ex. Im rambling on and on i know, but sometimes you gotta get the shit out! Lol

You're never going to find someone as good as her if you keep insisting that this will be your reality for the rest of your life. You're right.

But if you open your mind and get out there, you'll realise that there are so many girls who are just as great, if not better.

All you really have to do is change your mind from doom and gloom to something a bit more positive. It's difficult right now, I'm sure, but once you finally do it you'll realise just how easy it actually was.

 

[-PXG-]

So what's standard protocol on OKCupid? I've been messaging this girl back and forth, we have some things in common.

Coffee, lunch, or dinner?

Without being creepy, you should have asked for her number (fuck Facebook or email) ASAP. As for date plans, why don't you ask her?

Some like the coffee thing, some do lunch/dinner, some are looking for more creativity. It all depends on the girl and what she's into. I live in the suburbs with not a lot to do. Movies are shitty dates, so I'm stuck with going out to lunch or dinner.

I'm cooking dinner for a new lady friend this Sunday. Usually that isn't recommended for a first date, but she loves the idea. Plus it gives us privacy and easy access to the bedroom for some fun She's reminds me of my ex. However, she's more outgoing and nowhere near as shy or apprehensive. She's also the first black I've had. I've only been with white girls up until now.

This will be my first date since splitting up with my last GF about six weeks ago. Feels good. Even better is that this girl approached me. I didn't have to do shit at first. It took me a while to warm up to her, but now I dig her. She seems genuine and down to Earth. Smart too, which is a big plus for me. She's fine too

 

[Count Dookkake]

What does it mean when a girl calls you safe? I asked her what she likes about me and she said I was nice and safe. I took it as that there was no risk with dating me.

Probably nothing good.

 

[johnny_park]

Could mean a lot of things based on the context.

If you're not dating yet then you're almost stuck in the friendzone. The only girl that told me that "you're safe" was a girl that wasn't very attracted to me, and the feeling was mutual. We remained good friends though.

"I feel safe with you" is a different story.

I know I'm not in the friend zone because there was a lot of touching and we kissed.
I was just confused why she would call me safe and if it was a good thing.

 

[Snakeyes]

I know I'm not in the friend zone because there was a lot of touching and we kissed.
I was just confused why she would call me safe and if it was a good thing.

It's a good sign but proceed with caution.

 

[-PXG-]

Ask her what she meant. She meant one of two things:

1) She feels safe and secure when she's with you. She knows you won't do anything to hurt her

2) Maybe you're overly cautious about stuff and don't seem to take risks. You're boring and not spontaneous or adventurous.

Next time you see her, just casually ask her what she meant by that. Better than letting it fester in your head and allowing it to drive you insane.

Got a date with a chick I met on an online site.

Told I was heading down to the local for some pool/drinks and she should come down, she agreed but is bringing her cousin (what?).

I'll probably have to get my brother to come down with me now to even the numbers up.

Edit:Just found out she's bringing her cousin so she can have a few drinks and not worry about driving, at least there is a reason.

Bullshit excuse. The "cousin" is a buffer. That or you might get Shyamalan'd.....the cousin is your date...lol

The cousin and your brother will definitely not make this a date. Just another get together. I hope you're brother won't sabotage or cock block you...though...cock blocking is inevitable with the cousin being around.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Probably nothing good.

Probably XD. Any time a girl pays you a compliment similar (but not restricted) to "safe," "nice," or "gentleman," you've basically had your nuts chopped off.

 

[-PXG-]

Probably XD. Any time a girl pays you a compliment similar (but not restricted) to "safe," "nice," or "gentleman," you've basically had your nuts chopped off.

Safe, maybe. Nice, yes. Gentleman, no.

It's easy for me to know when a compliment is insincere. Body language and eyes say A LOT.

 

[DualShadow]

Bullshit excuse. The "cousin" is a buffer. That or you might get Shyamalan'd.....the cousin is your date...lol

The cousin and your brother will definitely not make this a date. Just another get together. I hope you're brother won't sabotage or cock block you...though...cock blocking is inevitable with the cousin being around.

To be fair, she is on her provisional license so can't have any alcohol in her system at all.

My brother won't cock block me, we usually wingman each other pretty well. But yeah the cousin is gonna fuck things up......

Not sure what I should do, maybe just tell her I want it just to be us two?

 

[-PXG-]

To be fair, she is on her provisional license so can't have any alcohol in her system at all.

My brother won't cock block me, we usually wingman each other pretty well. But yeah the cousin is gonna fuck things up......

Not sure what I should do, maybe just tell her I want it just to be us two?

How old is she? Does she have some aversion to driving? Handicapped? Or just hasn't bothered until now?

She knows that you want that, but it won't happen even if you ask. At this point she has her mind set and you asking is going to come across as being pushy. Either cancel the whole thing or tough it out and see how it goes. Hey, you might have a good time. The cousin might not even show up. But don't force the issue. It will just make you appear selfish, pushy and unwilling to compromise.

Oh, and since you met her through teh tubes, she might think it's creepy if you ask her cousin not to tag along. So just go with the flow or just say fuck it to the whole thing. Unless you're really not feeling it already, or you have something else better to do, go. What's the worst that could happen?

At least your brother is a good wing man and not a dumbass who will mess up your date.

Anyway, expect this sort of thing to happen often if you're meeting women from the interwebz. Luckily, I've never experienced this.

 

[DualShadow]

She knows that you want that, but it won't happen even if you ask. At this point she has her mind set and you asking is going to come across as being pushy. Either cancel the whole thing or tough it out and see how it goes. Hey, you might have a good time. The cousin might not even show up. But don't force the issue. It will just make you appear selfish, pushy and unwilling to compromise.

Oh, and since you met her through teh tubez, she might think it's creepy. So just go with the flow or just say fuck it to the whole thing. Unless you're really not feeling it already, or you have something else better to do, go. What's the worst that could happen?

At least your brother is a good wing man and not a dumbass who will mess up your date.

Anyway, expect this sort of thing to happen often. Luckily, I've never experienced this.

Yeah I might as well just ride it out, if it goes to shit me and my bro will have a good laugh about it.

Thanks for the input mate.

 

[-PXG-]

Yeah I might as well just ride it out, if it goes to shit me and my bro will have a good laugh about it.

Thanks for the input mate.

That's a good attitude to have. If it's horrible, you and your bro can go to another bar, get wasted and laugh about the whole thing for the rest of the day.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Safe, maybe. Nice, yes. Gentleman, no.

It's easy for me to know when a compliment is insincere. Body language and eyes say A LOT.

You're right about the body language bit, but I've heard a lot of girls misuse or synonymize [sp?] "gentleman" with boring and/or nice. But then again, I'm surrounded with immature girls at this college, so....

 

[-PXG-]

You're right about the body language bit, but I've heard a lot of girls misuse or synonymize [sp?] "gentleman" with boring and/or nice. But then again, I'm surrounded with immature girls at this college, so....

There you go. At that age, don't believe ANYHING they say. ANYTHING.

Tell her to touch fuzzy and get dizzy instead

Spoiler

that's what your avatar is right?

 

[Mully]

At least you're still in contact, so all is not lost my friend. Lay off the drink and she'll come around Im sure. You must kick the booze though...

Working on it. I went to my first NA meeting yesterday and will be going to an AA meeting tomorrow. She called me earlier today and asked why am I doing going to meetings now. It's obvious that I'm doing this for her, but I'm doing it more for me. I had a really rough weekend where I was out of control and I'm tired of waking up every morning after feeling guilty.

I don't know if this will fix things. She was too mad on the phone earlier to even express any gratitude that I'm doing this now. I'm not supposed to talk to her until Thanksgiving, but I'm worried by that point it will be too late and Thanksgiving break will be too short for me to reconcile everything with her. I'm worried that there is no time for me to really change her mind.