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[The Elite]

She's been posting these things on her Twitter and Facebook:










I want this girl back, but it seems like she wants nothing with me. I understand I was an asshole when I was drunk, but when I was sober (which was 95% of the time) we were inseparable.

You've got to stop looking at that stuff. It's going to drive you mad.

 

[dreadfulwater]

She's been posting these things on her Twitter and Facebook:










I want this girl back, but it seems like she wants nothing with me. I understand I was an asshole when I was drunk, but when I was sober (which was 95% of the time) we were inseparable.

there is a beautiful girl out there waiting for you RIGHT NOW. go get her. It sucks. take some time, heal some HP and get at it.

 

[SpectreFire]

I want this girl back, but it seems like she wants nothing with me. I understand I was an asshole when I was drunk, but when I was sober (which was 95% of the time) we were inseparable.

"I only hit her 1% of the time, but the other 99% we're absolutely amazing together."

Sure, it's an extreme comparison, but it basically boils down to the point that just because you're an asshole a very very small percentage of the time, during that time, you're an asshole, and you probably made her feel terrible Look at it from her point of view, it's not about the frequency of it happening, it's about the simple fact that it does happen, and the fear of not knowing when it might happen again.

She can easily find someone who clicks just as well and is not an asshole 100% of the time, her thinking is probably... why should I have to settle for the guy who's only good 95% of the time?

 

[clip]

Please answer DoctorWho!

 

[-PXG-]

She's been posting these things on her Twitter and Facebook:










I want this girl back, but it seems like she wants nothing with me. I understand I was an asshole when I was drunk, but when I was sober (which was 95% of the time) we were inseparable.

Stop reading FB and Twitter.

 

[lawlohwhat]

text

You'll only come out of this better. You're probably right to put aside girls for now, and there will be more opportunities down the line. For now, do whatever it is that you have wanted to but put aside because you were in a comfortable place. The best time to learn something new is when you've gained freedom from a significant situation in your life. It can be scary, but that's what's special about it.

I'm usually a prick and say, "I go out in public with you, so you must look alright."

Haha.

Hah, I always say something similar. Girls get compliments on their looks from guys all the time, they don't need another one from me.

Things I've learned over the last month:

-Don't date girls that are Blackberry/Facebook/Tumblr/Twitter addicts.
-Don't date girls that are crazy obsessed with their dog.
-Don't date girls that have one or more uber-weirdly-close male friends.

Been trying to date older girls (26-30), and it's a sea of emotional baggage and Seinfeld characters.

This one is personal preference. Although, I did briefly go out with a girl who had like 30 animals in her apartment, from lizards to spiders to cats. She was fucking crazy too (go figure).

Nope. The last date we had was last Wednesday, and we last texted last Thursday. She was going on a trip over the weekend so the last thing I'd said to her was to have a good trip.

She was supposed to let me know what her schedule was like this week so we could plan something, but I texted her a couple of days ago and haven't heard anything.

She's either busy or disinterested. Either possibility shouldn't be your concern. And stop texting so much! Save the fun conversation for when you're hanging out in person.

She's been posting these things on her Twitter and Facebook:










I want this girl back, but it seems like she wants nothing with me. I understand I was an asshole when I was drunk, but when I was sober (which was 95% of the time) we were inseparable.

Dude she's a drama queen. Nobody posts truly meaningful personal shit on facebook unless they're mentally ill or 18 years old. I've lost some good opportunities with the whiskey talk in my past, and that 5% can absolutely be a deal breaker.

 

[Azzurri]

I just came in here to say fuck my life, that is all. Good day

 

[U n i o n 0015]

I just came in here to say fuck my life, that is all. Good day

It's all good man. We have days like that. *bro hug*

 

[NeOak]

I want this girl back, but it seems like she wants nothing with me. I understand I was an asshole when I was drunk, but when I was sober (which was 95% of the time) we were inseparable.

You want her back? It will take a long time. You gotta fix whats wrong with you and there must be no contact for some time so she can notice the difference.

Problem is, usually during the process you or her will meet someone else and poof.

 

[DualShadow]

So just updating after my strange group date type scenario last night, it actually went pretty well, I got a little bit of time with her 1 on 1 and she's expressed interest in meeting up again. So all things considered it went pretty well I think.

 

[RedHerring]

What the hell do you say to a girl who keeps saying she doesn't think I think she's good looking? It's typical insecure stuff but like, what the hell do you say to that?

I will say outright: "you're fishing for compliments, stop it" preferably while You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby by The Smiths is playing in the background. Seriously, that sort of thing annoys me to no end. Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn't do it, but the few times recently that I have said it to my female friends it's always gotten a positive reaction. That is, they laugh and protest that they're not fishing. Any decent girl, hell, any decent person, will get the hint and immediately drop that line of "conversation". Tell whoever says that sort of thing that if they're looking for self-validation they should look elsewhere, and that you won't tolerate it.

 

[DualShadow]

I will say outright: "you're fishing for compliments, stop it" preferably while You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby by The Smiths is playing in the background. Seriously, that sort of thing annoys me to no end. Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn't do it, but the few times recently that I have said it to my female friends it's always gotten a positive reaction. That is, they laugh and protest that they're not fishing. Any decent girl, hell, any decent person, will get the hint and immediately drop that line of "conversation". Tell whoever says that sort of thing that if they're looking for self-validation they should look elsewhere, and that you won't tolerate it.

I sometimes just agree with them sarcastically, so if they say some crap like 'I feel fat tonight' just agree with them and then they usually say something like 'I'm not fat!'. Well then why did you say it?

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

I will say outright: "you're fishing for compliments, stop it" preferably while You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby by The Smiths is playing in the background. Seriously, that sort of thing annoys me to no end. Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn't do it, but the few times recently that I have said it to my female friends it's always gotten a positive reaction. That is, they laugh and protest that they're not fishing. Any decent girl, hell, any decent person, will get the hint and immediately drop that line of "conversation". Tell whoever says that sort of thing that if they're looking for self-validation they should look elsewhere, and that you won't tolerate it.

While your method might be a little too harsh I do get your point in not enabling these girls to validate their statements

 

[RedHerring]

It may seem harsh but in actual fact I think it comes across better than you might expect. Knowing what you want and being able to articulate it is an attractive quality. Having the balls to say it also shows that you are assertive, another plus. As long as it's said in a friendly, playful manner, it's highly unlikely to provoke a bad reaction. Times when I've said it, it's created a light, flirtatious tension.

Also, it's worth considering too that seeking that kind of validation is something that everyone does, guys and girls - we all fake modesty, expecting to be told that it's not true, we are really THAT good. To have that conclusion denied is a surprise, and someone who can surprise you is a far more attractive partner than someone predictable.

 

[DualShadow]

Need some second date ideas.

I'm guessing something a bit more personal so we can talk more?

 

[Karram]

So I've been trying to start a converstaion with a girl in my class . The problem is that she and her friends are really shy. We talked for very briefly but the conversation ends after 1 or 2 lines. It's usually like her: 'you didn't bring your books ?' me: 'nah' or me just throwing a joke and they would just laugh and then stay silent. I'm also kinda of shy person so any advice GAF ?

 

[RedHerring]

Need some second date ideas.

I'm guessing something a bit more personal so we can talk more?

A picnic? A meal out? If you've established on the first date that you and this girl get along well then you've pretty much got free reign to choose. I'd suggest thinking about the girl's interests and picking something based on those, so food ideas if she's a big foodie, science museum if she's a science nut, that kind of thing. It shows that you're able to be considerate and thoughtful.

 

[TheVampire]

So this girl I'm going with on a first date with to some convention thing in the city, we agreed to meet up there at the place.

When its time to finish up should I offer to drive her back to her place?

We live pretty close togeather and she will be getting there by train.

 

[DualShadow]

A picnic? A meal out? If you've established on the first date that you and this girl get along well then you've pretty much got free reign to choose. I'd suggest thinking about the girl's interests and picking something based on those, so food ideas if she's a big foodie, science museum if she's a science nut, that kind of thing. It shows that you're able to be considerate and thoughtful.

Yeah might go for lunch and i'll try and think of an activity to end it with.

Cheers.

So this girl I'm going with on a first date with to some convention thing in the city, we agreed to meet up there at the place.

When its time to finish up should I offer to drive her back to her place?

We live pretty close togeather and she will be getting there by train.

If everything is going well you might as well offer if she lives close.

If it's not going well then just part ways.

 

[paparazzo]

Ugh why do I do this to myself. Every time I go on fb I check out her photos on her page even though I never actually friend requested her, but that would be creepy since I haven't seen her in 3 and a half years and hell, I really never really spoke to her either. I think the fact that she's so gorgeous and seemed attracted to me all those years ago has kept me wondering what could have been. What a pussy and a fool I was.

And all those girls at school who stare.... (not a stealth brag so much as it is me being frustrated with myself). And yet I've always been single, and I'm probably wasting the best years of my life because I'm such a pussy.

/random incoherent babbling

Sorry, just needed to vent. Have a good night, GAF.

 

[Atramental]

Ugh why do I do this to myself. Every time I go on fb I check out her photos on her page even though I never actually friend requested her, but that would be creepy since I haven't seen her in 3 and a half years and hell, I really never really spoke to her either. I think the fact that she's so gorgeous and seemed attracted to me all those years ago has kept me wondering what could have been. What a pussy and a fool I was.

Omg, this sounds just like me a couple of night ago in that "post your significant other" thread.

Send her a friend request man, it's probably not going to kill you.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Stood up twice in a row by this girl who keeps trying to give excuses. Time to delete her from my phone.

 

[DualShadow]

Stood up twice in a row by this girl who keeps trying to give excuses. Time to delete her from my phone.

Personally I would have done that after being stood up once.

 

[The Elite]

But she told you at least?

Sorry I didn't answer sooner. Busy evening. She eventually got back to me. We went out a night, had drinks, kissed but she did not break up with me. The next evening she sent me a text saying she was dumping me.

Mixed signals. It sucked.

FYI. Just PM me if you need to get in touch. I get an e-mail to about a thousand different devices around me telling me I have a PM.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Personally I would have done that after being stood up once.

True enough, but I naturally give people the benefit of the doubt (which, as you see, always kills me when it comes to dating). I should probably stop.

 

[DualShadow]

True enough, but I naturally give people the benefit of the doubt (which, as you see, always kills me when it comes to dating). I should probably stop.

Yeah I used to be the same but I don't have time for flaky chicks.

Did she even let you know she wouldn't be coming or did you just leave after a while?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Yeah I used to be the same but I don't have time for flaky chicks.

Did she even let you know she wouldn't be coming or did you just leave after a while?

Eh, more detail: She and I have a break between classes, and we've [read: I've] been seeing about making plans to chillax in those periods for a week. It's not like I went out of my way, because I was at my usual hangout on campus. But it's more that I'm the one initiating contact and she's only responding with "next time " lines. Blah.

 

[CrocMother]

So I've been noticing several lesbians flirting with my girlfriend on facebook.

Should I be frightened or proud?

 

[TheVampire]

Soooooo ummm how do I successfully make a move?
Example for this date coming up this weekend:


-Meetup and goto some expo event thing in the city
-Get something to eat a bit later in the afternoon
-Maybe go for a walk
-Drive her home
-Arrive out the front of her house anddddd ?

My brain goes blank because of lack of experience.

How do I initate a kiss without it being awkard or a complete fail? (assuming the day went well)

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Soooooo ummm how do I successfully make a move?
Example for this date coming up this weekend:


-Meetup and goto some expo event thing in the city
-Get something to eat a bit later in the afternoon
-Maybe go for a walk
-Drive her home
-Arrive out the front of her house anddddd ?

My brain goes blank because of lack of experience.

How do I initate a kiss without it being awkard or a complete fail? (assuming the day went well)

Kino

 

[CrocMother]

Soooooo ummm how do I successfully make a move?
Example for this date coming up this weekend:


-Meetup and goto some expo event thing in the city
-Get something to eat a bit later in the afternoon
-Maybe go for a walk
-Drive her home
-Arrive out the front of her house anddddd ?

My brain goes blank because of lack of experience.

How do I initate a kiss without it being awkard or a complete fail? (assuming the day went well)

If it's a first date, don't get out and walk her to the door...it's awkward for everyone involved. Don't even think about the kiss, it's not important. What's important is getting a second and third date so the physical stuff can happen organically. Give her a chance to want to kiss you.

If after the expo she wants to stay with you, obviously that is a good sign. For it to really be a date you have to be hanging with her after the sun goes down, otherwise she's probably not into you unless she has a pressing obligation.

Hope that helps.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

If it's a first date, don't get out and walk her to the door...it's awkward for everyone involved. Don't even think about the kiss, it's not important. What's important is getting a second and third date so the physical stuff can happen organically. Give her a chance to want to kiss you.

If after the expo she wants to stay with you, obviously that is a good sign. For it to really be a date you have to be hanging with her after the sun goes down, otherwise she's probably not into you unless she has a pressing obligation.

Hope that helps.

Yea second date is the best time to start amping up the physicality. Leading her by the hand can be absolute gold if you pull it off smoothly. Say there's a dense crowd, just be coy and go, "Hey hold my hand so we don't get separated," and after you clear the crowd if she doesn't try to let go then you know you're good, haha. Used that one on a second date (on a night out on the town) and ended up being able to get to first base by the end of the night because I pulled the shit off so naturally.

If I can pull this shit off, you guys sure as hell can.

 

[lawlohwhat]

So I've been trying to start a converstaion with a girl in my class . The problem is that she and her friends are really shy. We talked for very briefly but the conversation ends after 1 or 2 lines. It's usually like her: 'you didn't bring your books ?' me: 'nah' or me just throwing a joke and they would just laugh and then stay silent. I'm also kinda of shy person so any advice GAF ?

Practice engaging other people in conversation throughout your day. Checkers at grocery stores beyond the typical "how is your day?", somebody you bump into on the street, a bartender, whatever. You don't have to give a 12 volume discourse on the universe to impress with conversation, but you have to be willing to speak clearly and be genuinely interested in what others have to say.

Once you are doing that as a regular habit without having to think about it, then you will naturally maintain friendly banter, even with shy girls.

 

[low-G]

Hey guys I need some first date advice with a girl.

We have agreed to goto this Armageddon Expo at the Melbourne Exhibition Centre.
Its like some big thing for games,tvshows,movies,anime etc.. with the actors there.

Im just wondering if I should pick her up and drive her there or just meet her at the place in the city?

If I want to end the day it would be awkward having to drive her back and all that.

Thoughts?

Spending a lot of time at something like an expo if the date isn't going well is pretty awkward too...

 

[TheVampire]

Its ok I have a bail out plan.

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

rofl. Mind sharing why?/share some stories I don't disagree I'm just interested. It's funny you mention Seinfeld those definitely sound like they could be Seinfeld episode plots in present day or on Curb your Enthusiasm.

"Tumblr Girl" was an unofficial professional blogger who would get drunk, make poor choices with men, then use those experiences to power her Tumblr posts about love, why she thought it was a good idea to tell me that, I don't know. She would also text/tweet/foursquare mid-conversation to give a minute by minute update of our date.

"Dog Girl" talked about her dog endlessly, it made up 30% of total conversations we had. Every week there was a new nick-name, new story, new article of dog clothing. Her and "Little Dude" are now happily snuggling alone while she awaits the menopause fairy.

"Girl with Ultra-Close Male Friend" ran with her male friend so much, strangers though they were married. No one referred to her as just "Ann" it was "Ann and Alex". They went on every vacation together, ate most every meal together, went out every night together, it was well past even the most liberal definition of "close friends".

 

[Danielsan]

"Tumblr Girl" was an unofficial professional blogger who would get drunk, make poor choices with men, then use those experiences to power her Tumblr posts about love, why she thought it was a good idea to tell me that, I don't know. She would also text/tweet/foursquare mid-conversation to give a minute by minute update of our date.

"Dog Girl" talked about her dog endlessly, it made up 30% of total conversations we had. Every week there was a new nick-name, new story, new article of dog clothing. Her and "Little Dude" are now happily snuggling alone while she awaits the menopause fairy.

"Girl with Ultra-Close Male Friend" ran with her male friend so much, strangers though they were married. No one referred to her as just "Ann" it was "Ann and Alex". They went on every vacation together, ate most every meal together, went out every night together, it was well past even the most liberal definition of "close friends".

Haha amazing.

 

[Coeliacus]

She would also text/tweet/foursquare mid-conversation to give a minute by minute update of our date.

I check in at foursquare when I take a bathroom break. The phone goes away during dates otherwise. That all goes without saying though, your dates sound like a sitcom.

 

[Xun]

an extremely useful technique for dealing with approach anxiety (youtube video)
Follow the instructions, repeat as necessary. A 5 year old could do this and it requires nothing other than 15 minutes of your time. It doesnt eliminate approach anxiety, but it significantly reduces it. I can vouch for that.
Really, it's useful for "X" phobia. It could be approaching girls. It could be spiders. It could be public speeches. But it works.

Really?

All seems a bit wacky to me.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

an extremely useful technique for dealing with approach anxiety (youtube video)
Follow the instructions, repeat as necessary. A 5 year old could do this and it requires nothing other than 15 minutes of your time. It doesnt eliminate approach anxiety, but it significantly reduces it. I can vouch for that.
Really, it's useful for "X" phobia. It could be approaching girls. It could be spiders. It could be public speeches. But it works.

Oh... tapping. No thanks.

 

[Spacebar]

Stood up twice in a row by this girl who keeps trying to give excuses. Time to delete her from my phone.

Did she just not show up? If she didn't you can always call her the next day and acted like you didn't show up with some bull shit excuse and apologize. Then set up another date and not show up to that one hoping she feels bad and comes. lol

If that's too much effort just don't even reach out to her after she stood you up the first time.

 

[Spacebar]

Guys, stop reading too much into these facebook and twitter comments. 99% of the time these girls are looking for attention. This is what women love...ATTENTION!!! When they don't get any they post bull shit twitter messages that are open ended so people will reply.

I swear some girls on my facebook feed must be sick 24 7 because that's all they post. "I'm having a rough day today." or "I wish I could feel better". Then a handful of people will reply with "OMG What's wrong?" or "Hope you get better".

Let's not forget the post break up posts either. They want to feel like the victim of the breakup even if it was mutual. My ex gf posted some shit like "You're words are in my memory every day. You can't edit them." What did I do....DELETE.

Just ignore facebook and twitter for the most part. Focus on REAL LIFE interactions with them.

 

[Jaladinozozo]

She's been posting these things on her Twitter and Facebook:










I want this girl back, but it seems like she wants nothing with me. I understand I was an asshole when I was drunk, but when I was sober (which was 95% of the time) we were inseparable.

"Hatred, by a gradual and quiet process, will even be transformed to love, unless the change be impeded by a continually new irritation of the original feeling of hostility." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

 

[Danj]

It may seem harsh but in actual fact I think it comes across better than you might expect. Knowing what you want and being able to articulate it is an attractive quality.

Does this not make being single like being unemployed for the first time? I.e. you could get a job if you had the experience, but you don't have the experience so you can't get a job, and you don't have a job so you can't get the experience? Or more specifically, if knowing what you want is a requirement, how are you supposed to get into the dating game, if you've never had any experience of it to know what you want?

 

[clip]

RE my posts.

Finally got a response and yep, as suspected, she doesn't feel any chemistry.

I knew it was coming, but it still sucks.

 

[-PXG-]

"Tumblr Girl" was an unofficial professional blogger who would get drunk, make poor choices with men, then use those experiences to power her Tumblr posts about love, why she thought it was a good idea to tell me that, I don't know. She would also text/tweet/foursquare mid-conversation to give a minute by minute update of our date.

"Dog Girl" talked about her dog endlessly, it made up 30% of total conversations we had. Every week there was a new nick-name, new story, new article of dog clothing. Her and "Little Dude" are now happily snuggling alone while she awaits the menopause fairy.

"Girl with Ultra-Close Male Friend" ran with her male friend so much, strangers though they were married. No one referred to her as just "Ann" it was "Ann and Alex". They went on every vacation together, ate most every meal together, went out every night together, it was well past even the most liberal definition of "close friends".

Wow.

It's these shitty experiences that make things easier in the future and give context and meaning to those moments that are actually good. If you haven't already, you'll look back on these dates and just laugh.

I still remember that date I had with that CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY girl in NYC. HAHAHAHA. No regrets.

My date on Sunday should be normal without any odd/ scandalous thangs going down.

Guys, stop reading too much into these facebook and twitter comments. 99% of the time these girls are looking for attention. This is what women love...ATTENTION!!! When they don't get any they post bull shit twitter messages that are open ended so people will reply.

I swear some girls on my facebook feed must be sick 24 7 because that's all they post. "I'm having a rough day today." or "I wish I could feel better". Then a handful of people will reply with "OMG What's wrong?" or "Hope you get better".

Let's not forget the post break up posts either. They want to feel like the victim of the breakup even if it was mutual. My ex gf posted some shit like "You're words are in my memory every day. You can't edit them." What did I do....DELETE.

Just ignore facebook and twitter for the most part. Focus on REAL LIFE interactions with them.

This cannot be said enough.
This cannot be said enough.
This cannot be said enough.
This cannot be said enough.
This cannot be said enough.

I'm rarely on Facebook. I don't have a Twitter account. Life is good.

Kino

Yep. Progress is achieved by iterative actions. Don't expect to take things to the next level with sudden and random initiative.

Unless she has severe issues with personal space, if you gradually make moves on her through out the date, all should be fine in the end.

Of course, this all depends on whether or not both of you had a good time, and there is some level of mutual interest too.

Does this not make being single like being unemployed for the first time? I.e. you could get a job if you had the experience, but you don't have the experience so you can't get a job, and you don't have a job so you can't get the experience? Or more specifically, if knowing what you want is a requirement, how are you supposed to get into the dating game, if you've never had any experience of it to know what you want?

Everyone pretty much wants the same thing out of a relationship.

- Someone to talk to
- Someone to trust
- Someone to depend on
- Someone to do activities with
- Someone to understand you
- Sex

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Does this not make being single like being unemployed for the first time? I.e. you could get a job if you had the experience, but you don't have the experience so you can't get a job, and you don't have a job so you can't get the experience? Or more specifically, if knowing what you want is a requirement, how are you supposed to get into the dating game, if you've never had any experience of it to know what you want?

Everyone wants the same thing. The rest is just "chemistry and timing". (I jacked that quote from HIMYM but it seems appropriate.)

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

It's these shitty experiences that make things easier in the future and give context and meaning to those moments that are actually good. If you haven't already, you'll look back on these dates and just laugh.

Exactly. I'm not upset or bitter, it's def a learning experience, one that makes me better and better every single time. It is amazing to me how messed up girls in their late 20's are, and why they think crafting "The List" is a good idea... it keeps them alone.

 

[SpectreFire]

How much bigger do you guys reckon standards are when dating online? In a quantifiable sense.

For example, out of a scale of 10, how much would they raise standards when looking online?

Also. Fat girls. Why can't they just admit they're fat?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Did she just not show up? If she didn't you can always call her the next day and acted like you didn't show up with some bull shit excuse and apologize. Then set up another date and not show up to that one hoping she feels bad and comes. lol

If that's too much effort just don't even reach out to her after she stood you up the first time.

Just deleted the ho's number so she isn't getting any more attention from me anyway.

I just wish I knew whether there was actually something wrong with my personality/character, or if I genuinely just have terrible luck in meeting women. I know men far more repulsive than me (both physically and in personality) who put me to shame in the ass they can slam; I just want to know wtf my problem is.