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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need

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Mully

Member
SolKane said:
Forget about who?

Nvm. I broke up with my girlie last week and I'm just looking to forget about it all for a night.

However, I just answered my own question. Just got sick, I'm not going out tonight.
 

Mordeccai

Member
I've been flirting with this chick I met at a party for a little bit, its been going pretty well, but I've got a quick question for GAF.

I'm throwing a pretty big Halloween party and she's going to be there Anyway, I asked her what she's wearing to the party and she tells me "Well, you'll see next weekend. Its cute..."

My knee jerk reaction was to just type back "I expect no less from you ;)" but I figured that wasn't quite flirty enough. What would you guys type back to this?
 
Mordeccai said:
I've been flirting with this chick I met at a party for a little bit, its been going pretty well, but I've got a quick question for GAF.

I'm throwing a pretty big Halloween party and she's going to be there Anyway, I asked her what she's wearing to the party and she tells me "Well, you'll see next weekend. Its cute..."

My knee jerk reaction was to just type back "I expect no less from you ;)" but I figured that wasn't quite flirty enough. What would you guys type back to this?

"It's."
 

2San

Member
Mordeccai said:
I've been flirting with this chick I met at a party for a little bit, its been going pretty well, but I've got a quick question for GAF.

I'm throwing a pretty big Halloween party and she's going to be there Anyway, I asked her what she's wearing to the party and she tells me "Well, you'll see next weekend. Its cute..."

My knee jerk reaction was to just type back "I expect no less from you ;)" but I figured that wasn't quite flirty enough. What would you guys type back to this?
Does it really matter? Just be clear in person. ;O In my experience flirting by telephone, internet, etc. really isn't that important and doesn't really do anything.
 

SolKane

Member
Mordeccai said:
I've been flirting with this chick I met at a party for a little bit, its been going pretty well, but I've got a quick question for GAF.

I'm throwing a pretty big Halloween party and she's going to be there Anyway, I asked her what she's wearing to the party and she tells me "Well, you'll see next weekend. Its cute..."

My knee jerk reaction was to just type back "I expect no less from you ;)" but I figured that wasn't quite flirty enough. What would you guys type back to this?

Halloween's still a week away, you know. You probably scared her off with your desperation.
 

Mordeccai

Member
SolKane said:
Halloween's still a week away, you know. You probably scared her off with your desperation.

I don't see how what I posted came off in any way as desperate?

Tbh I felt like posting in here rather than just responding right away.

This chick is badass though, reads A Song of Ice and Fire, plays video games, loves Halloween Horror Nights.
 

Minamu

Member
Eggo said:
For someone who is "not attached to the outcome," you are too attached to the outcome. You wrote a 3 paragraph post beginning with "Did I screw up?" in which you question your actions and whether Facebook is broken or not. If you truly weren't attached to the outcome, this girl would be one of five who you're interested in, and you wouldn't bother to write up a post like this because you genuinely don't care whether she calls you back or not because you have other options. It sounds like you're lacking choices.
Good points. I do tend to write long posts no matter what though. I'm definitely lacking choices, for sure. There are quite a few I'm interested in, it's just the standard problem of either not having the feeling returned or not having the balls to do something about it :) Like with this girl. I barely know this girl at all, so I don't really care what happens. Just looking for some opinions. Thanks for one :)

That said, been a pretty alright evening. Suited up and "danced" to Rednex live xD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddgyg_5FF_0
 
Hey guys. I'm only posting this because I am truly confused and I just wanted to see if anyone else has had this problem I'm experiencing.

Anyway, I am 21 and my girlfriend is almost 19. However the difference between us maturity wise is giant. We have dated for over a year and I do love her, but the maturity issue just pisses me off to no end sometimes. She can't make any decisions. If I ask her what you want to do tonight she acts like it's the toughest question in the world to answer. She cries about 1-2 times a week too. It's ridiculous. It can be over anything. If I even mention the stuff I'm posting on here to her she'll bawl for what seems like an hour.

I feel like I'm growing up and getting ready for my future (Teaching classes and education related jobs). And she says she doesn't have any interests and constantly complains about her classes. I feel like I'm more of a father to her than an actual boyfriend sometimes.

I'm also sick of doing things she never does for me. What I mean by this is that I'm the one who is willing to stay til 1 or 2am with her because I can handle it. She thinks 930PM is too late for her for us to hangout on a weekday. I have a car and she doesn't, so I have to take her places as long as her friends.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do. Do I wait til she matures? I mean it's hard for me to imagine myself with her when I'm out of college wanting to start a family if she doesn't change at all. Thoughts?

Her parents are also the worst parents in the world who have clearly ruined her for 18 years but that is another story.
 

Doctor_20

Banned
How are her parents the worst parents?

You need to talk to her about it. Some people need guidance and you're going to be the one to guide her.. that is.. if the love is truly mutual.

What I mean is.. it sounds like she is insecure. Take no offense, but you could just be her way of grasping security.

EDIT: Also, insecurity is normal at that age.
 
Her dad is someone who would constantly beat her down by calling her fat if she was eating fatty food, say the only thing she'll be in life is a trailer park whore, has anger management and would throw things, referred to me as a child molester, doesn't like me because I'm not a catholic. Last year we could only see each other twice a week and her curfew was 10pm weekdays and 12am weekends (i can understand this but just an example of his way or the highway). There really isn't any love in the family at all. They are fake with everyone to hide their insecurities and flaws. They are all about social status and money also.

The mom has no backbone and does whatever the dad says. She doesn't stand up to him at all.

Basically they never show love to my girlfriend, and she had to live in a house while being afraid of her dad. She had to live in fear and in an environment where she was never praised for any accomplishments, rather she was put down for not being what her parents expected her to be, and these expectations were/are ridiculous.
 

RevoDS

Junior Member
Well, what a night.

I was at my best friend's talking with her, and over time we ended up playfighting over a photograph for about an hour, during which it turns out we both wanted to kiss each other. We didn't, however.

Once we were done, however, she admitted as much, and we got into a serious talk. I finally admitted having feelings for her for the last few months, and while she says the physical attraction is there (obviously enough), the feelings aren't.

And so I pretty much got turned down. It hurts, but it's a relief at the same time. I hadn't admitted those feelings to anyone until now, so it's rather tough a secret to hold. That's out of the way, and perhaps now I can fully move on. I hope so.

At the same time, I seem to have lost contact with another girl I'd been seeing recently. Due to the aforementioned feelings, I'd been somewhat uncertain about the whole thing. I can't see anything I really did wrong, so I'm guessing she picked up on that uncertain vibe.

Oh well, back to the start.

(Sorry for this, Girl-Age, I just needed a place to get this off my chest. Kudos to the guy who guessed this would happen the first time I mentioned her on here back in July)
 
Another cool party last night, but I can't seem to help my claustrophobia/social seizures in parties and clubs (at least sober). I guess just drinking more to get me out of the shell works too, but I don't want to be the drunk jackass XD.

Iono, just not really my comfort zone. I can't seem to lose the chill persona without copious amounts of liquor. One-on-one I'm outstanding with anyone, be it with an awkward loser dude or with a 10/10 bombshell; but when surrounded with people (particularly when I don't know most of them) I just seem to get stagefright and turn into a wallflower, haha.
 

Avocado

Member
So, I'm a fairly social guy and don't really have too many issues in speaking with girls. However, I am very bad at interpreting signals that girls send to me, and I thought some of you guys would have some input.

I've been on a pretty friendly basis with a girl, and we've been seeing eachother regularly. We both go to training at the same place, and she's invited me out to drink with her and her friends on occasions. We have also watched movies, eaten together and I've been helping her learn photoshop. We're pretty close (as close as people who have known eachother for 3+ months can be) but I fear that if it continues like this it will simply go into friendzone territory.

2 weeks ago she asked me if I'd like to eat at her place, and that there would be some other people too. When I arrive I see that her cousin is there with a guy she is dating, and there is another couple aswell. So, there are 2 couples, and her and me. I first started thinking of this as I was leaving, but, is she trying to send me a message?

We're going to be watching some movies next week and I guess that will be the best time to try and make a move.
Last time we watched movies she would take my feet and start massaging it/warming it and I'd do the same to her, but out of fear of ruining the friendship I wouldn't pursue it further.

Another piece of information that might be important, is that we don't speak on the phone with eachother, though we do text and have pretty long conversations on facebook.
 

Troblin

Member
Any tips on going in for the first kiss?

I met this girl at my buddy's wedding a couple weeks ago. I thought she was cute, so I got her number and arranged to hangout.

We went out this past weekend and hit it off pretty well. As I dropped her off, there was a definite pause in the car when we got to her house, and I think the opportunity was there to go in for the kiss.

I hesitated, and although we made tenative plans to hangout again, feel I definitely missed out on an opportunity.

I'm pretty inexperienced and ackward dating wise, so any advice would be appreciated. :)
 

greenry

Member
Troblin said:
Any tips on going in for the first kiss?

I met this girl at my buddy's wedding a couple weeks ago. I thought she was cute, so I got her number and arranged to hangout.

We went out this past weekend and hit it off pretty well. As I dropped her off, there was a definite pause in the car when we got to her house, and I think the opportunity was there to go in for the kiss.

I hesitated, and although we made tenative plans to hangout again, feel I definitely missed out on an opportunity.

I'm pretty inexperienced and ackward dating wise, so any advice would be appreciated. :)

Don't hesitate next time. Just go for it.
 

number47

Member
RevoDS said:
Well, what a night.

I was at my best friend's talking with her, and over time we ended up playfighting over a photograph for about an hour, during which it turns out we both wanted to kiss each other. We didn't, however.

Once we were done, however, she admitted as much, and we got into a serious talk. I finally admitted having feelings for her for the last few months, and while she says the physical attraction is there (obviously enough), the feelings aren't.

And so I pretty much got turned down. It hurts, but it's a relief at the same time. I hadn't admitted those feelings to anyone until now, so it's rather tough a secret to hold. That's out of the way, and perhaps now I can fully move on. I hope so.

At the same time, I seem to have lost contact with another girl I'd been seeing recently. Due to the aforementioned feelings, I'd been somewhat uncertain about the whole thing. I can't see anything I really did wrong, so I'm guessing she picked up on that uncertain vibe.

Oh well, back to the start.

(Sorry for this, Girl-Age, I just needed a place to get this off my chest. Kudos to the guy who guessed this would happen the first time I mentioned her on here back in July)

Tell her you just want physical interaction while being friends to her face with eye contact. Whats wrong just one more activity you can do together.
 

JEKKI

Member
aw man, God bless any man who can date, love, marry, be in relationship, etc. a girl whose height to waist size ratio is not up to their desired standards.

I see that all the time, I don't know how they do it!!!

went on a date earlier today with an attractive and sensible girl! but ugh I'm not sure I could muster up the drive to push the relationship forward :(
 

Spacebar

Member
Troblin said:
Any tips on going in for the first kiss?

I met this girl at my buddy's wedding a couple weeks ago. I thought she was cute, so I got her number and arranged to hangout.

We went out this past weekend and hit it off pretty well. As I dropped her off, there was a definite pause in the car when we got to her house, and I think the opportunity was there to go in for the kiss.

I hesitated, and although we made tenative plans to hangout again, feel I definitely missed out on an opportunity.

I'm pretty inexperienced and ackward dating wise, so any advice would be appreciated. :)

You done goofed my friend, but never fear as many other opportunities will come your way. When you get these awkward silent moments at the end of the night just look into her eyes and go for it. I would say take a little advice from the movie Hitch. You lean in most of the way and then let her come in at the end to clinch the kiss.

Most of the times at the end of the night the girl will look into your eyes and her eyes will be glazed over. This means your money and shoot right in. Knowing when these moments arise takes practice like everything else. The more you have them the better you feel about knowing what to do when they happen.

Good luck on the second date.
 

Spacebar

Member
threenote said:
does anyone have any kissing tips?

I finally made my move on this girl, and I want to improve my kissing.

Practice! Try not to shove your tongue down her throat though. lol I usually start off kind of slow. Mix it up with short and long kisses. Bite the lower lip from time to time. Be playful with her tongue using my tongue.

Just gauge her reaction to certain things and let the passion flow. Don't over think it. Just enjoy kissing the girl. The more you worry about performance the worse off you will be.
 

Troblin

Member
Spacebar said:
You done goofed my friend, but never fear as many other opportunities will come your way. When you get these awkward silent moments at the end of the night just look into her eyes and go for it. I would say take a little advice from the movie Hitch. You lean in most of the way and then let her come in at the end to clinch the kiss.

Most of the times at the end of the night the girl will look into your eyes and her eyes will be glazed over. This means your money and shoot right in. Knowing when these moments arise takes practice like everything else. The more you have them the better you feel about knowing what to do when they happen.

Good luck on the second date.

Thanks for the advice. Definitely a missed opportunity, but i'll chalk it up to dating inexperience.

I'll try to seize the moment when it comes around on the 2nd date.
 
Spacebar said:
You done goofed my friend, but never fear as many other opportunities will come your way. When you get these awkward silent moments at the end of the night just look into her eyes and go for it. I would say take a little advice from the movie Hitch. You lean in most of the way and then let her come in at the end to clinch the kiss.

Most of the times at the end of the night the girl will look into your eyes and her eyes will be glazed over. This means your money and shoot right in. Knowing when these moments arise takes practice like everything else. The more you have them the better you feel about knowing what to do when they happen.

Good luck on the second date.
Yeah, you can sense when a girl is giving you an opening, bigtime. Eye contact is key, and from there it's just time to be a man. XD
Spacebar said:
Practice! Try not to shove your tongue down her throat though. lol I usually start off kind of slow. Mix it up with short and long kisses. Bite the lower lip from time to time. Be playful with her tongue using my tongue.

Just gauge her reaction to certain things and let the passion flow. Don't over think it. Just enjoy kissing the girl. The more you worry about performance the worse off you will be.
Also, try to imitate what she's doing. Odds are, she wants you to do to her what she's doing to you (biting your lip, etc). As said, don't shove your tongue down her throat. Also, make sure you're not letting saliva get into her mouth.
 

~Kinggi~

Banned
Etrian Oddity said:
So true. Generally I find that I have the most fun when it's just my boys and I chilling in the club/bar (although they chill because they already are taken...). It is hit or miss but I can't say I genuinely have bad nights out, which is a good thing.

And you're right on the dance floor bit, but I don't have the confidence to pull that off right now lol. I can't do most dances and even if it's just the bump 'n grind I don't have the balls to dance with a girl, lately.

But I've rediscovered Courage Wolf, who is inspiring me to achieve greatness.

qH6FBo3lHq1ba2b6Z3l6pmAFo1_400.jpg


3336055877_97f363b0ab.jpg


My favorite meme.
these are glorious
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
This is weird coming from a former womanizer like myself, but I think I'm clingy. How do I fix?
 
Does anyone ever feel guilty about messaging multiple girls at once?

I know they are probably doing the same thing but sometimes I feel a little guilty.
 

Snakeyes

Member
DualShadow said:
Does anyone ever feel guilty about messaging multiple girls at once?

I know they are probably doing the same thing but sometimes I feel a little guilty.

Not at all, unless you're shamelessly lying to them about being exclusive and shit.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
Snakeyes said:
Try to remember the state of mind you had back then.
It reinforces it. Either way, its the same mentality. I was smashing everything Ans I was pretty straightforward about it with most girls. Women that I actually care about, hell even friends that I actually care about, I let them know that I'm behind them all the time (in different ways of course)

With women that I get serious with its not always seamless.

I love hard. But I really need to find a way to dial it down, for my own sake. Only one girl has called me clingy and that was back in high-school. I just don't think I ever addressed it.
 
soultron said:
You're not cheating because you're not exclusive to one girl yet. No reason for the guilt.

Yeah that's why it was strange I had this small feeling of guilt even though I shouldn't haha.

It's all good now, was just a random thought at the time.
 

low-G

Member
TheVampire said:
So I just had this first date thing today with a girl.
We went to some expo thing in the city which was pretty cool.
All about tvshows,movies,games and anime plus had some actors there.

When I saw her in person she was a bit shorter and fatter that I was hoping for.
Not a deal breaker but damn I want a tall slim one.
I allways get the almost considered fat bit short ones so I wasnt feeling any attraction to her even though we like the exact same things.

Dunno If I should proceed with her or not.

Go with your gut. Definitely don't get in a relationship with someone you're not interested in just to be in a relationship, that's stupid. I am assuming if she was a borderline case but had an appealing personality that'd make you attracted to her, so no attraction at all is a really empty feeling.

Similar thing happened to me on a similarly long date seeing stuff. Next date was with another girl that was more appealing in every way.
 

Minamu

Member
Eggo: Well, I asked her out to join me in looking for a black shirt for my suit, and a coffee afterwards, but she is leaving town for the weekend and she's "fighting a cold" at the moment, but that we're bound to see each other outside the house soon anyway. So that's two excuses and one thinly veiled "I'm not interested but I don't want to say it to your face, even on facebook" for turning me down when trying to reschedule :) Next!
 

-PXG-

Member
DualShadow said:
Does anyone ever feel guilty about messaging multiple girls at once?

I know they are probably doing the same thing but sometimes I feel a little guilty.
Hell no. As long as you're not comitted to either of them, you're not cheating or two timing. Never assume that you're the only guy, a girl is seeing. Most of the time, you're one of many she's seeing. Having back ups will increase your chances of success abd lower your anxiety.

Plus, since you're not comitted, you don't have to tell her shit. Chances are, she won't either. Don't offer a service or luxury you won't get in return. Relationships, on any level should be have mutual levels of effort abd out put.

I had a pretty nice date last last. Cooked her dinner, made out, played around with her breasts and got my dick sucked. She really likes me a lot. I still have to sort my feelings out. We'll see. I'm going out for drinks/ dinner with another girl this Friday.
 

Eggo

GameFan Alumnus
Minamu said:
Eggo: Well, I asked her out to join me in looking for a black shirt for my suit, and a coffee afterwards, but she is leaving town for the weekend and she's "fighting a cold" at the moment, but that we're bound to see each other outside the house soon anyway. So that's two excuses and one thinly veiled "I'm not interested but I don't want to say it to your face, even on facebook" for turning me down when trying to reschedule :) Next!
That's the right attitude. Stay focused on more self improvement, and it'll happen naturally. It sounds like you weren't crushed by her actions, which is good. Also, you inviting her to things shows you've got confidence. Just keep more plates spinning and you'll be well on your way. It's only a matter of time and opportunity.

Lastly, on the offchance that she couldn't make it out but wanted to, things could work out with this girl later down the line. The important thing is you're not sitting around waiting. If it happens, great, but if not you're already looking elsewhere.
 

soultron

Banned
Baconbitz said:
She came into the tinychat for neogaf and she just starts talking about how she wants anal. I am like this is overwhelming. She says she lives in the same state.
She wants to wear your skin like a suit. Don't do it, breh.
 
Okay, through some divine intervention, I managed to go outside on a weekend and ventured to the mall for something and one of two things happened: a girl subtly asked me out and I completely blew it or I'm reading too much into the situation and she was just making polite conversation while helping me with something. I'm not going into detail but I'm leaning towards the latter.
 

~Kinggi~

Banned
grap3fruitman said:
Okay, through some divine intervention, I managed to go outside on a weekend and ventured to the mall for something and one of two things happened: a girl subtly asked me out and I completely blew it or I'm reading too much into the situation and she was just making polite conversation while helping me with something. I'm not going into detail but I'm leaning towards the latter.
I have typically found that those of us who are utter shit at social encounters will take insignificant actions of girls to actually mean something. This makes it basically impossible to actually read if we are being hit on or not, since we always figure we arent.
 
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