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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
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HappyBivouac
Member
Not direct enough.
perfectchaos007
Member
hydragonwarrior said:
why are you calling him crushed? is he the same crushed from 2008 but with a different online persona that won't get him banned?
Kccitystar
Member
CrushDance said:
Dude all she is doing is looking to validate her interest in you. In no way, shape or form is she playing "the hard to get" game with you. If anything, you are the one doing this to her by coming up with reasons not to pursue anything with her and rejecting her advances slowly. When the entire GAF collective in this thread is rooting for you and after you post these short stories with how she's giving you signs, telling you a general answer to just fucking go for it, what are you going to do, wait until your co-worker hooks up with her for him to tell you, "man what happened? She liked you, dude!"? Come on.
I mean, if you want to take the friends route in building a relationship, that's a road that doesn't always lead you to the promised land. If you hold out in making your intentions known by not validating her interest in you, either by rejecting her advances or doing nothing with them (which could be synonymous with each other), she will consider what she is feeling for you as just an infatuation and move on to the next guy who will reciprocate her advances, however subtle they may be and pursue something with him.
To me, when guys/girls show interest in a girl/dude they can go about it in 3 ways over time: Subtle, Obvious, or Suppressed. Suppressed is a road nobody wants travel because you are sabotaging yourself mentally and emotionally by just holding shit in.
Ether_Snake
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CrushDance said:
Why not answer?
1- Did she ask you if you wanted something to drink?
2- Did she put a heart on it with both of your names?
CrushDance
Banned
I answered but edited. Doesn't matter, any mod can take a look and see for themselves. They can even post the answer if they like. I never lied about anything in this thread, I changed the setting of my job a little to protect myself. Yet I'm being called a liar. After all the things I posted now and before where I explained my feelings and past, none of it seems to matter. That a woman of her caliber is throwing herself supposedly at my feet, does not raise any red flags. So whatever, I'll work it out somehow and take my lies to nowhere. I didn't ask GAF just so I could be insulted and laughed at. Ever since I started posting in GA, I've learned alot and made headway in dealing with women by working on myself. So thank you, but I've removed all those posts and will go fuck off now.Ether_Snake said:
MrSardonic
The nerdiest nerd of all the nerds in nerdland
No one can comprehend why you haven't asked this girl out. You think too much.
hydragonwarrior
Member
perfectchaos007 said:
Ughh I'm shitty with names - yeah Crushed was another user - I meant CrushDance :/
vitaminwateryum
corporate swill
CrushDance said:
You should probably listen to GAF's advice. The only reason people are laughing at you is because despite the girl's advances you're not responding at all. And then after everyone here tells you that she is definitelyhitting on you, you deny it and say that now that there's some sort of pressure on you, you'd just like to be friends with her. Give me a fucking break.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
I'm not laughing at you. I'm yelling at you.
Ether_Snake
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CrushDance said:
It's a thread about getting girls/dating, what do you expect? Of course people are gonna be angry or suspicious if it comes to a point where the girl does every move, which is fucking rare, and yet instead of doing what you are being recommended to do you drag this thing on and on and on about how you don't want to date her. So yeah, it becomes like trolling, because it makes people reply for nothing.
If you don't want to date her, for whatever reason, it's fine, but not when you bring this up in a girl-dating-age thread.
It's like if I went in a how-to-cook thread and just talked about how I don't want to cook.
Also, she made you a milkshake: 2. A girl's body and the way she carries it.
johnny_park
Member
I work at a restaurant and today I waited on a 24 year old girl and her friend. She was very nice and we had good conversation in the little that we were able to talk. After they paid they sat around for awhile and I got cut ( I get to go home). I told them i was done and had to clean so I won't be out in the front for awhile. I said it was nice meeting her. She reached out her hand to for a handshake and said " you're name's Johnny right. I'm Angela"
Anyway I was wondering if it would be weird if I tried to message her through facebook or should I just hope she comes in again?
Anyway I was wondering if it would be weird if I tried to message her through facebook or should I just hope she comes in again?
Norwegian Wood said:
congrats, you're awesome!
Crush, nobody is laughing at you and I don't think you're a liar. We're just pissed at you because you're self sabotaging an opportunity millions of single guys would kill to have.
Please stop finding excuses and give that girl a chance, you know you want it.
What the fuck is going on here?
Side note: After taking a final in class, I noticed this one chick eyeballing me. She lingered around me, and so I talked to her a bit. I asked if she wanted some coffee. She obliged and then she walked me to my car afterward. I drove to her apartment, kissed her, and got some digits. No fear, gentlemen, no fear. Live in the moment and let life be enjoyable.
Side note: After taking a final in class, I noticed this one chick eyeballing me. She lingered around me, and so I talked to her a bit. I asked if she wanted some coffee. She obliged and then she walked me to my car afterward. I drove to her apartment, kissed her, and got some digits. No fear, gentlemen, no fear. Live in the moment and let life be enjoyable.
thestopsign
Member
Just going to vent a bit of sexual frustration here.
So last spring, probably around April or so, I had a crush on a girl who had recently had a break up/split of some sort. I decided to give her a bit of time to work it out, as she had a series of relationships over the last year or so. About a week after her break up, I'm with one of my friends and he gets a phone call from her, and I find out that he had just asked her out a few days before. I didn't really think they would last as a couple, especially since my friend moved off to college, but it has endured. The frustrating part is that she is very flirtatious and playful physical with me whenever we are together (we are pretty decent friends), and on quite a few occasions she has commented on how muscular I am or something to that extent. She also has told me she had a crush on me for at least two years at some point. I have a feeling that these guys are basically in a rather platonic relationship, but that they enjoy each others company and talk, and both are really nice so I can't really imagine them breaking up any time soon. Frustrating that that relationship could have been mine, and would probably be more serious considering I would be with her more often than my friend is.
A similar thing has sort of happened to me more recently. I was at a party and danced with a different girl for most of the night, we were already vaguely friends and stuff and she seemed to like me. We talked a bit over the weekend on Facebook chat and stuff, and I thought things were going pretty well. Then BAM, another one of my friends (not as close as the other friend, more of a friend of a friend type guy, but really a great guy, nice and funny), asks her out that Monday and she says yes.
I have more options out there and most of the problem here is miscommunication and failing to act quickly enough, but in both cases it seemed like I was pretty safe and then out of nowhere it hit me. In fact, one of the second girl's best friends seems to like me as well, but I'm not as attracted to her (not that she isn't pretty, because she actually is, but the other girl was more of my type).
Anyone else have an experience like this?
So last spring, probably around April or so, I had a crush on a girl who had recently had a break up/split of some sort. I decided to give her a bit of time to work it out, as she had a series of relationships over the last year or so. About a week after her break up, I'm with one of my friends and he gets a phone call from her, and I find out that he had just asked her out a few days before. I didn't really think they would last as a couple, especially since my friend moved off to college, but it has endured. The frustrating part is that she is very flirtatious and playful physical with me whenever we are together (we are pretty decent friends), and on quite a few occasions she has commented on how muscular I am or something to that extent. She also has told me she had a crush on me for at least two years at some point. I have a feeling that these guys are basically in a rather platonic relationship, but that they enjoy each others company and talk, and both are really nice so I can't really imagine them breaking up any time soon. Frustrating that that relationship could have been mine, and would probably be more serious considering I would be with her more often than my friend is.
A similar thing has sort of happened to me more recently. I was at a party and danced with a different girl for most of the night, we were already vaguely friends and stuff and she seemed to like me. We talked a bit over the weekend on Facebook chat and stuff, and I thought things were going pretty well. Then BAM, another one of my friends (not as close as the other friend, more of a friend of a friend type guy, but really a great guy, nice and funny), asks her out that Monday and she says yes.
I have more options out there and most of the problem here is miscommunication and failing to act quickly enough, but in both cases it seemed like I was pretty safe and then out of nowhere it hit me. In fact, one of the second girl's best friends seems to like me as well, but I'm not as attracted to her (not that she isn't pretty, because she actually is, but the other girl was more of my type).
Anyone else have an experience like this?
DualShadow
Member
thestopsign said:
Hit the nail on the head. Just gotta move faster mate.
Mike Works said:
Thanks Mike.
I actually have no plans to call her. She was the one who suggested she would like to drop by. We were just talking about our week and i said i'm kind of tired so i took Thursday off and she suggested out of the blue she will like to drop by for dinner Thursday evening and that she was going to call me.
Ball is in her court and I'm not in a hurry to even call nor mail her.
I should probably work on a probability chat, 21 rejections and bam i got lucky on the 22nd :lol
Aesius said:
She seemed receptive. What's also cool is that I got in touch with a girl off of OKC who messaged a long ass time ago. She still seems pretty interested, and we're going to meet this Sunday for pool and pizza. Guys, if all of a sudden a girl stops messaging on a dating site, drop them a line after a while. Sometimes they forget to respond or just get busy. Girls have a ton of messages to go through on dating sites; around at least 6 messages a day. Don't feel bad if you get lost in the shuffle.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
Who paid for the coffee?Mr.City said:
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
I've been having real good luck with the ladies lately. I feel an STD or pregnancy scare coming on real soon. Life is good.
MikeOfTheLivingDead
Grapetastic!
-PXG- said:
You just need to find the right one and/or adopt the proper attitude. The woman I'm seeing may be smarter than me, is in better shape, drives a better car, makes better money, is further in her career, has a graduate degree, and has a ridiculous place. I'm becoming a better person just spending time with her. She's really busy, but so am I. We have never talked on the phone which is fine by me because I hate talking on the phone. We see eachother twice a week. We do not text everyday. It's the most adult and healthy relationship I have ever been in. She's loyal, crazy about me and completely awesome on every level. There's never any hard feelings and no jealousy. It's fucking great. You should maybe relax and try taking your dad's advice. It's great being in a relationship with a girl who's well adjusted, secure, and not at all needy, and gives you all the time you need to do the things you want to do for yourself.
Mike Works
Member
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being excited or continuing to pursue her.Norwegian Wood said:
I'm just saying that it's really, really easy to scare off a girl if you're over-eager, especially when it comes to relationships.
If you really want a girlfriend, that's fine, and if you think this girl has the potential to be one, that's great too, but just keep in mind that you're at the very, very initial stage of the two of you getting to know each other. Play it cool and temper your expectations.
A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle. I took a class, and after 3 days of practicing, we went out on the road for the first time. There's this thing that they teach you when you're on a bike, and it seems completely counterintuitive:
When you're making a gradual turn- say a continual 20 degree turn- you're not supposed to look at the road in front of you. Instead, you're supposed to look at the road 20 feet ahead. It feels so unnatural when you're doing it- it's the equivalent of looking a block ahead of yourself when you're walking.
Nevertheless, I found myself on a turn like that, and I instinctively looked right in front of my bike. I watched it as it started to veer closer and closer to the guardrail. I was freaking out, I was honest to God trying to turn away from it as hard as I could, and yet I still kept going closer to the edge. Then, I remembered my instructor's words, and looked off further down the road. Even though I didn't feel myself do anything different, the bike started to move back safely into the middle of the lane.
I can't explain exactly how that works, but it does. And I apologize if my analogy's a little confusing (since I'm telling you NOT to look far into the future), but the point of my story is this: in order to get what you want (girlfriend), sometimes you have to do something that is seemingly completely counterintuitive to that (don't tell her that you want her to be your girlfriend and temper your own expectations) in order to get it.
Take it from a guy who has fucked this up in the past. It's a stupid mistake, but one that I don't necessarily think people have to learn from first hand. That's why I'm telling you.
Biff
Member
Congrats on the awesome date! I remember following your posts when you were just starting online datingNorwegian Wood said:
Best of luck! And when things start going well, refer back to this very post of yours. The ball should almost always be in her court! Don't become needy or clingy like many of us have once been with another girl. I know I have. Never works out.
Doesn't mean don't be romantic/don't do nice things for her. On the contrary, actually! Little things here and there go a long way
Kccitystar
Member
MikeOfTheLivingDead said:
Mike, hold up, time out. Wait, so you don't communicate with this girl, only on the two days that you two hang out, or by saying you don't text her everday, does that mean like you'll shoot a message or two to each other during the times you are apart? I mean am I reading that right?
On a side note, I wonder how many guys have been with women who are in the same boat as Mike's lady, where they are somewhat in a more advantageous position in their lives than you? How does that relationship work? Just curious.
johnny_park
Member
I'm going to do it. I'm just going to wait a day or two. It wasn't hard to find her because she paid with a credit card and I took a look at her last name.matt360 said:
Ether_Snake
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Since Mike is posting I thought I'd write this anyway, even tho I wrote this down a bunch of times before in different ways:
I need to become a more interesting person and not look like such a recluse. I've done some things this year to fix this: I went on vacation on my own for a few weeks, planning everything myself and most of it as I went along, so it was something very constructive on a personal level. I did skydiving (in pair) with some acquaintances. I am now hanging out with a few coworkers outside of work, almost weekly. I started drawing again so I am keeping an artbook (girls always enjoy looking into them too). I got good promotions at work. There are of course things I haven't done, like getting my fucking drivers licenses (I have to practice by taking some classes since I don't have access to a car and I keep pushing this to later). I need to either buy my own place (would be expensive and prices are high right now) or move into a nicer apartment where I can actually invite a girl over without hesitation. I need to workout for real, even if I'm in good shape I know I'd look a lot better if I put on some mass. And I need to dress better, which is somewhat coming along over time (got a lot of good comments recently from guys and girls at a party about my shoes for example).
But my main issue is not what I know I have to fix and can fix, but rather my age. I'm 28, but I don't feel like it. I feel like I'm 20 at most, and I look like I'm 24. People who know me personally say I have a very mature personality when it comes to a lot of subjects (which probably comes from my father who is about to turn 70), but it doesn't come through if you don't know me. A lot of girls my age want kids right now, the younger ones are often immature, and I have trouble being accepted as who I am because I literally have no past or actual family. All of this makes it difficult for me to first find a girl I like, and second to manage to keep her. I'm from a broken family and lived a broken life and it makes me unattractive on a non-physical level. I'm sure having my own place, owning a car, etc., can all do wonders to fix the issues as far as finding a girl goes and keeping her for some time (easier to go out where and when we want to, more comfortable to spend our time together when at home, etc.) but it's the giant black-hole hidden in the closet that pisses me off. I don't feel like making up bullshit, nor talking about my past to a girl, but it's a weight on my shoulders. It's difficult to explain. Sorts of feels like being a blank canvas.
Basically, I'm not interesting and I'm light-years away from anything a girl could have dreamed of when thinking about who she wants to meet. No girl would be looking for such a guy on OKCupid or some such. My only chances are with girls who don't give a fuck about any of that shit and take me as I am and like fucking hard-core and don't play stupid mind games, but that's a fucking rare find.
How the heck do I raise my chances of meeting more girls like that? Anything I can do about myself to raise the odds I'll do it. Like they say, you can only bounce after you hit the ground. I'm not afraid of throwing things away or bringing change, I've done it before and it's always been for the best in the long run.
It's really a communication issue. I want girls to understand more easily who I am before they even get to know me personally so I don't have to deal with the ones it won't work with anyway. I want that to come through like you can tell a guy with long hair and a heavy-metal band t-shirt probably likes heavy-metal, tattoos and piercings on a girl, alcohol and sticking his dick in a girl's ass. Just like you can tell some beefcaked shorty probably likes big tits and big cars.
I need to become a more interesting person and not look like such a recluse. I've done some things this year to fix this: I went on vacation on my own for a few weeks, planning everything myself and most of it as I went along, so it was something very constructive on a personal level. I did skydiving (in pair) with some acquaintances. I am now hanging out with a few coworkers outside of work, almost weekly. I started drawing again so I am keeping an artbook (girls always enjoy looking into them too). I got good promotions at work. There are of course things I haven't done, like getting my fucking drivers licenses (I have to practice by taking some classes since I don't have access to a car and I keep pushing this to later). I need to either buy my own place (would be expensive and prices are high right now) or move into a nicer apartment where I can actually invite a girl over without hesitation. I need to workout for real, even if I'm in good shape I know I'd look a lot better if I put on some mass. And I need to dress better, which is somewhat coming along over time (got a lot of good comments recently from guys and girls at a party about my shoes for example).
But my main issue is not what I know I have to fix and can fix, but rather my age. I'm 28, but I don't feel like it. I feel like I'm 20 at most, and I look like I'm 24. People who know me personally say I have a very mature personality when it comes to a lot of subjects (which probably comes from my father who is about to turn 70), but it doesn't come through if you don't know me. A lot of girls my age want kids right now, the younger ones are often immature, and I have trouble being accepted as who I am because I literally have no past or actual family. All of this makes it difficult for me to first find a girl I like, and second to manage to keep her. I'm from a broken family and lived a broken life and it makes me unattractive on a non-physical level. I'm sure having my own place, owning a car, etc., can all do wonders to fix the issues as far as finding a girl goes and keeping her for some time (easier to go out where and when we want to, more comfortable to spend our time together when at home, etc.) but it's the giant black-hole hidden in the closet that pisses me off. I don't feel like making up bullshit, nor talking about my past to a girl, but it's a weight on my shoulders. It's difficult to explain. Sorts of feels like being a blank canvas.
Basically, I'm not interesting and I'm light-years away from anything a girl could have dreamed of when thinking about who she wants to meet. No girl would be looking for such a guy on OKCupid or some such. My only chances are with girls who don't give a fuck about any of that shit and take me as I am and like fucking hard-core and don't play stupid mind games, but that's a fucking rare find.
How the heck do I raise my chances of meeting more girls like that? Anything I can do about myself to raise the odds I'll do it. Like they say, you can only bounce after you hit the ground. I'm not afraid of throwing things away or bringing change, I've done it before and it's always been for the best in the long run.
It's really a communication issue. I want girls to understand more easily who I am before they even get to know me personally so I don't have to deal with the ones it won't work with anyway. I want that to come through like you can tell a guy with long hair and a heavy-metal band t-shirt probably likes heavy-metal, tattoos and piercings on a girl, alcohol and sticking his dick in a girl's ass. Just like you can tell some beefcaked shorty probably likes big tits and big cars.
MikeOfTheLivingDead
Grapetastic!
Kccitystar said:
OK, I've been seeing her for 3.5 months. We both work for the same company but it's very large, we have no business interaction at work. We are in completely different business units, and are in buildings in completely different towns. I met her in a bar.
We send text messages, but not too many. It's like two messages a day max. There's usually two days a week where we don't commnicate at all. She might shoot me an email or hit me up on IM once a week. We both hate talking on the phone, and at this point we don't do it simply because we think it's funny how people react when we tell them we have never once spoken on the phone.
So I've had this discussion with her, the "What the hell are you doing with me?" discussion. She's hot and she's really got her shit together; better than me in every way from my perspective. Turns out as much as I think she is out of my league, she thinks the same of me.
What it comes down to is she just really likes me. I know I come off as an asshole on here often, but in reality I'm actually a sweetheart of a guy, best friend you'll ever have. She's had issues with dating men who aren't as smart or successful as she is. She thinks I'm smarter than her. I'm not so sure, but I don't show that to her. Every man she's dated would get all insecure when they saw her place, or when she starts talking about buying an Audi R8. I don't. She likes to travel every six weeks or so. Sometimes I go along, sometimes I say "You have fun. See you in a few days." Her ex's wouldn't allow her to go anywhere without them. She gets hit on often and her ex's would get bent out of shape about it. I don't. I trust her and when those situations come up I handle them with class.
She's not a needy person and she likes that I don't need her to need me. I know she'd do anything for me, including accepting some mjor character flaws. I know this all sounds dispassionate, and unromatic but nothing could be further from the truth. When we're together it's absolutely awesome. We never run out of things to talk about and there's no doubt between us that we are crazy about each other.
I highly recommend you guys swing for the fences when looking for someone to date. It's working out really well for me.
Mike Works
Member
I don't understand why you think coming from a broken family is something that needs to be fixed in order to get a girl. You can't change the past, but even if you could, I don't think you'd need to. I see very little different between a great guy with a family background and a great guy without one. Girls care about how great the guy is.Ether_Snake said:
I'll tell you right now, I've never had a drivers license. I've never owned a place. I was living with my parents when I met and brought home every girl I've ever been with- current girlfriend included.
So I just want to state right now, you don't have to worry about your past affecting anyone but yourself. It won't matter (in a bad way) to any girl you want.
You problem, it seems, is self-image and the image you create of your environment. You and I are actually very similar on paper- I'm 27, I recently went on a trip alone, etc. I'll tell you right now that not all girls our age want babies. At least not to the point where they demand it out of a relationship. I'm sure they're all thinking about it, but you're not at the point where all of the women in your age bracket won't take you unless you're willing to have kids right away. So just put that thought out of your mind.
Do you want to know how you can raise your chances of meeting a girl that clicks with you and your needs? Date more women.
I know, it sounds obvious and stupid and aggravating, but sometimes, that's just the best way to go at things. There will be times when it will be clear that a girl isn't right for you right away- not unlike your "heavy metal guy" description at the end of your post.
However, quite often, the girl that ends up being just right for you starts off as just a random blank slate. One you meet standing in line waiting for coffee. One you meet whose online profile said she liked laughing and cats. One who you didn't find after a series of litmus tests and trials... One you just found.
That's part of what dating is. It's fishing. It's experience. I'm sure there are some ways you can improve your search, but for the most part, the best thing is just putting yourself out there and meeting a lot of girls. Worst case scenario, you spend a coffee date with someone you don't click with and part ways.
So that's my dumb advice that isn't really advice. I can't speak to your personality issues that you brought up, because I frankly don't know you. But just remember that coming from a broken family means a lot to you and means absolutely nothing to most every girl. If anything, they'll appreciate how much you were able to come out of that bad situation as a fun and interesting guy. Be positive. Because you should.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
So did you......DRINK her coffee??????Mr.City said:
And by drink I mean did you put you mouth on her vagina.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
Ether_Snake said:
What's wrong with your current apartment? Is it really that bad? Honestly you can live in a shit hole, but if you make your place comfortable, keep it clean and tidy, and make sure it smells good (scented candles, potpourri, carpet freshener, etc) most women won't have any issues with your place. I've lived in shitty roach infested places back when I was in college, and still managed to bring some chicks over and they thought nothing of it.
How is your age a problem? I've heard you make that excuse before, and it makes absolutely no sense. How is your age stopping you from meeting women? Do they say you're too young? Too old? Are you going after someone's grandmother or something? I'm 28, and I've been told I look like I'm in my teens before, and it's never stopped me. Are people saying your mature personality is the issue, or is that your asset?
Now that's just bullshit. I can guarantee you that my family structure is a million times more fucked up than yours is. That's an excuse you've somehow rationalized in your head to be the root cause of your problem.
Are you ashamed of your family and past? If so you have to let that shit go. I used to be the same way (not wanting to talk about my family or upbringing because it was so fucked up and unbelievable) but eventually I started to understand that I'm my own man, and my family's sins and shortcomings is not a reflection on me. And ultimately, if you're not comfortable talking about your past then don't. Tell the chick you don't want to and leave it at that. I used to do it all the time and they had no choice but to respect my decision or get the fuck out my face. And IMO, when I actually did tell girls about the shit in my past and what has happened, I get this look of wonder and amazement from them, as well as a lot of respect considering I haven't gone off the deep end or followed in the footsteps of my siblings. The car/license/apartment things are all fixable, you just have to make that a priority. I was in a similar situation (I was 20 or 21 I think) and I didn't have my license. Thankfully my gf did, so she'd help teach me to drive. But I was very proactive in getting my license by getting the book from the DMV, passing the written test and getting my permit, and paying someone to teach me how to drive when she couldn't do it.
This right here is the crux of your problem. You have a poor self image of yourself, and more than likely pretty low confidence. You have to shake that shit off and correct that if you ever want to be successful with these broads. Even if you get your license, get a car, buy a nice house, and have a nice job, if you don't fix this, you'll still be stuck in the same place you are now, wondering why you can't meet the types of women you want to meet.
Dating is a process. You have to go through some bad ones so you can realize what you want. I've run into some lousy bitches in my life, and being around them made me realize I never want to be around that type of person again. You asking for a girl to know you personally before they get to know you so you don't have to "deal" with the bad ones is an unrealistic expectation. Women aren't mind readers. They only go by what you say and what you do. If you want to come across a certain way, then be that way verbally and through your actions. No women on this planet is going to be able to just look at you and now what type of guy you are. You're energy, confidence, actions and reactions will let the outside world know who you are.
Ultimately you have to let the excuses go (your age, your family, and your living/transportation issues) and start working on building your confidence and self esteem up. If you want to get your license, then get your damn license. Make that shit a priority. The same goes for working out, your wardrobe, and a new pad/car. But as I mentioned previously, none of the shit will matter one bit if you have a poor self image of yourself. My cousin who has no job, no car, is 28, still lives with his parents, and has 2 kids by 2 different women, always has a new chick he's fucking with. Personally I think he's a bum, but he think he's the man, and women respond to that energy. Because at the end of the day, it's not what you have, it's how you feel on the inside.
hydragonwarrior
Member
Would be pretty cool to get the above Mike Works and bdizz's posts on the front page cuz it's going to get lost... so so lost over the next 5 pages.
There seems to be a recurring theme for GA threads here, I've fallen victim to it before as well, but there needs to be some clarification for some guys here I think.
Girls say they want nice guy. Guys say girls only respond to assholes, etc. etc. etc. Weve all seen it right?
It has very little to do with being nice or being an asshole.
It is about being a MAN
If you are pursuing a relationship with a girl, you can treat her with respect. You can be nice. However, as soon as you become a pushover, quit being assertive, and quit being a man, things go south.
Don't listen to the whole "Why cant I find a nice guy" routine from a girl, and sit there and wonder why shes saying that when you're a nice guy... Girls want a man. She is saying what she thinks she wants, but in reality what she wants is someone who will treat her with respect and be kind to her, but still can get her excited and nervous because he wont bend over backwards to please her every whim.
It pretty much boils down to don't be a straight asshole. Don't be a straight nice wimp. Be a man.
Edit"
I'd like to clarify a little bit about being assertive. Whne you're asking a girl out, dont say, Hey would you be interested in maybe grabbing some coffee/drinks blah blah sometime?
Be clear and direct, the underlying tones in the words you use have a huge impact. Say, "Hey, I'd like to take you out to dinner/drinks etc. Are you free on such and such night? "
That way it is clear you want to take her on a date, on a specific day.
Girls say they want nice guy. Guys say girls only respond to assholes, etc. etc. etc. Weve all seen it right?
It has very little to do with being nice or being an asshole.
It is about being a MAN
If you are pursuing a relationship with a girl, you can treat her with respect. You can be nice. However, as soon as you become a pushover, quit being assertive, and quit being a man, things go south.
Don't listen to the whole "Why cant I find a nice guy" routine from a girl, and sit there and wonder why shes saying that when you're a nice guy... Girls want a man. She is saying what she thinks she wants, but in reality what she wants is someone who will treat her with respect and be kind to her, but still can get her excited and nervous because he wont bend over backwards to please her every whim.
It pretty much boils down to don't be a straight asshole. Don't be a straight nice wimp. Be a man.
Edit"
I'd like to clarify a little bit about being assertive. Whne you're asking a girl out, dont say, Hey would you be interested in maybe grabbing some coffee/drinks blah blah sometime?
Be clear and direct, the underlying tones in the words you use have a huge impact. Say, "Hey, I'd like to take you out to dinner/drinks etc. Are you free on such and such night? "
That way it is clear you want to take her on a date, on a specific day.
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