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[~Kinggi~]

Hello dating gaf please help me.

I meet this beautiful Girl 2 weeks ago while helping out a different Department at the office. I didnt get the Chance to Talk to her, or didnt had the balls to, at that time. But on my last Day there it just happend that while i was leaving for my own department i meet her in the elevator. She was heading for my department as well so i got the chancevto talk with her a bit. After we arrived there i showed her arround and then our ways seperated. 3 days later or so i wrote her a mail, asking her out for a after work coffee. After that She answerd me 5 o 6 days later saying that She was sorry that it took her so long to get back at me and that we could meet up some time. She also asked me how my weekend was and that i should contact her when im free for a Coffee.

After that i got exited of course, i never thought that She would Write back at all.

So the next day, after lunch i wrote her a Email again. I said:

Hello Cathrin,

I almost gave up hearing from you but now it makes me even more happy.
On the weekend i went out with my mountainbike to catch the last sunny days. Did you Get a chance to recover from our stressy project. I will be off from work for the Next days, how about we meet up on tuesday?

After that i didnt hear back from her at all. The days flew by and tuesday came, arround 4 pm i stupidly wrote her again, asking if Today was ok for her? But once again She did not answer me.

I don't know what to do from here on? Should i write her again? What should i say? Also i don't get why she did not wrote back? Did i blew it somehow? If Yes, what did i do wrong? Please help me dating gaf, is there any chance that i can turn this strange situation arround?

Is English your native language and are you working in an English environment? I only ask cause your message has some awkward sounding sentences in it. That could turn her off more than you actually talking to her.

 

[overcast]

So I don't want to sound like a loser, but I have my first date ever on Saturday. Me and this girl are both pretty young so we're both fairly inexperienced in all regards. Going to watch a movie, probably hanging out around the town after. Any tips? (yes this is very broad, just general tips).

 

[Spacebar]

So I don't want to sound like a loser, but I have my first date ever on Saturday. Me and this girl are both pretty young so we're both fairly inexperienced in all regards. Going to watch a movie, probably hanging out around the town after. Any tips? (yes this is very broad, just general tips).

Movie isn't the ideal first date, but that's okay. Make sure you go out after the movie to get some dinner or something. That way you can actually talk.

Just have a good time and don't put any pressure on yourself. It's only your first date and if you screw up or fail it wont be the end of the world. Be sure to make your intentions clear by escalating kino with her throughout the date. Gauge her reactions and react accordingly.

If you're getting the vibe she wants to kiss at the end of the night go for it. Most of the time this happens with the awkward silence at the end of the date when you're leaving her. Have fun and good luck!

 

[SRG01]

So things have been going great with my relationship for the past three months... but her text messages turned somewhat cold from her usual self this week. I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but we have another date this weekend.

I'm bracing myself for the worst, unfortunately

 

[overcast]

Movie isn't the ideal first date, but that's okay. Make sure you go out after the movie to get some dinner or something. That way you can actually talk.

Just have a good time and don't put any pressure on yourself. It's only your first date and if you screw up or fail it wont be the end of the world. Be sure to make your intentions clear by escalating kino with her throughout the date. Gauge her reactions and react accordingly.

If you're getting the vibe she wants to kiss at the end of the night go for it. Most of the time this happens with the awkward silence at the end of the date when you're leaving her. Have fun and good luck!

Thanks a lot, those tips will help. It should be a lengthy date, so I think we'll talk enough.

 

[SRG01]

Thanks a lot, those tips will help. It should be a lengthy date, so I think we'll talk enough.

Make sure you don't overdo it on the first date either. Keep it low pressure, and remember to have fun!

 

[Spacebar]

So things have been going great with my relationship for the past three months... but her text messages turned somewhat cold from her usual self this week. I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but we have another date this weekend.

I'm bracing myself for the worst, unfortunately

Did you post about this earlier? Why are you worried about cold text messages when you've been with her for three months?

 

[SRG01]

Did you post about this earlier? Why are you worried about cold text messages when you've been with her for three months?

No, I haven't posted about this earlier.

The problem is that we had a "reverse-fight" last weekend. I did, in retrospect, a big no-no and she insisted that I did nothing wrong because I really didn't know. (edit: and I was beating myself up over it for quite a while.) We did however end up with some friends later that evening and we were both really happy afterwards.

Perhaps a good portion of it is due to some lingering guilt, but she's never been like this before even when she was busy or down.

edit2: A part of me wants to text her right now and ask if she really is okay with what happened, but I know it's way better to talk about it in person this weekend instead.

 

[Spacebar]

No, I haven't posted about this earlier.

The problem is that we had a "reverse-fight" last weekend. I did, in retrospect, a big no-no and she insisted that I did nothing wrong because I really didn't know. (edit: and I was beating myself up over it for quite a while.) We did however end up with some friends later that evening and we were both really happy afterwards.

Perhaps a good portion of it is due to some lingering guilt, but she's never been like this before even when she was busy or down.

edit2: A part of me wants to text her right now and ask if she really is okay with what happened, but I know it's way better to talk about it in person this weekend instead.

What is a "reverse-fight"? Are you two together or just dating still? Not sure I can give any solid opinions or advice with the information you given. Whatever the fight was about it hasn't cleared up yet from the sounds of it. Maybe give her some space and talk to her later.

 

[SRG01]

What is a "reverse-fight"? Are you two together or just dating still? Not sure I can give any solid opinions or advice with the information you given. Whatever the fight was about it hasn't cleared up yet from the sounds of it. Maybe give her some space and talk to her later.

It was a reverse-fight because I was convinced that I was in the wrong, but she was trying to tell me otherwise. We're still together as far as I know from the end of the last date and when we set up the date earlier today!

I know I'm being deliberate vague... but she reads GAF. (edit: It's intimacy related, if you read between the lines)

 

[SRG01]

See, this situation could be easily solved by just talking to her but I see her only once a week and mainly communicate through texts during the week. I don't have any other opportunities to talk to her, so it really sucks if something does go wrong.

If anything, I think it highlights one of the big hurdles of our relationship, even if this turns out to be just a big misunderstanding.

 

[DualShadow]

Pick up the phone and call her?

Personally, it seems like 3 months is a long time to still be 'dating'.

 

[SRG01]

Pick up the phone and call her?

Personally, it seems like 3 months is a long time to still be 'dating'.

Oh oops, we're definitely in a relationship. Sorry for the misinterpretation.

 

[NIGHT-]

I've been talking to a girl from pof for almost a week. We both hit off real well and had amazing chemistry.. Well, we finally went out for dinner tonight and I'm confused if it went well or not. She was really nervous when we got there and continued to be nervous through out the day. She complemented me on being easy to talk to, we never had a awkward silence moment. We both laughed and just had great eye contact as well. She asked me if she looked like I expected and I asked the same and she answered with "yea you're hot". After the day ended I walked her to her car and she gave me a one arm hug with her face turned away... Is that a bad sign? I don't remember having a date end with a one arm hug before.


I really like this girl and like to see her again.. Should I follow up with a call or text tomorrow? Or was her signal clear enough that she wasnt interested?

 

[ThanksVision]

I have such a hard time with over analyzing every little thing. I know for a fact this girl likes me, but I still question it sometimes. I think I need to really kiss her and seal the deal or something. We always just hug and stuff. I dunno, it's weird. We're really flirtatious and she's all over me with touches etc. but when it comes to the goodbye kiss I get the feeling she doesn't want to do it.

I guess I should just man up?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Thanks a lot, those tips will help. It should be a lengthy date, so I think we'll talk enough.

Adding onto what was said, sometimes silence is good. Don't try to force conversation--a lull in the talking is a natural part of interaction. Let it breathe for a minute, but don't let it get awkward.

Follow your gut--scratch that, follow your balls, haha! You'll know when it's the "right" time to do something like take her by the hand or up the touching, or kiss. You'll know, trust me. Don't fret.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

stop emailing her

she didn't write back because you are too available and she knows she can have you anytime she wants

Too available? What's he meant to say, I'm never available for that coffee? lol I agree that emailing again was an error but I hate this game playing 'too available' bollocks.

Like another guy said, the structure of the reply was a bit awkward with random capital letters, etc. Could have put her off a bit perhaps.

 

[Cubsfan23]

he gave his power away, it has nothing to do with "game playing"

she could literally name any day and time, and he would probably agree to it, whereas she is going to make him jump through hoops as evidenced by waiting 6 days to reply and then nothing at all.

stop begging women to meet up with you

 

[kid ness]

he gave his power away, it has nothing to do with "game playing"

she could literally name any day and time, and he would probably agree to it, whereas she is going to make him jump through hoops as evidenced by waiting 6 days to reply and then nothing at all.

stop begging women to meet up with you

Agreed -- a better way to convince your interested, is to say you're going to be heading somewhere after work (just an example) and that she's free to join you. This way, she knows your interested but as opposed to you straight up asking her on a date, it's a more casual approach and it's her choice if she would like to join you.

If she does, great. If not, move on.

Also, letters are not the best way of getting a girls attention, it seems needy and lacks confidence. Definitely try asking her out in person next time.

 

[Kad5]

Went to a rave with my friends.

I didn't really feel on my game today. I just kinda chilled. No girls came up to me and danced. I asked my friend if she wanted to dance with me and she did but it wasn't too big of a deal.

It's kinda disappointing when I see other guys have girls come up to them and dance. I actually saw my two female friends grind on a guy at the same time.

I have had girls dance with me before but it doesn't happen too often....like once.

 

[Mr. Smith]

Is English your native language and are you working in an English environment? I only ask cause your message has some awkward sounding sentences in it. That could turn her off more than you actually talking to her.

No its not, i wrote this on a hury on my iPad last night and it keeps autocorrecting the shit out of my words also i was pretty drunk yersterday.

 

[Mr. Smith]

Agreed -- a better way to convince your interested, is to say you're going to be heading somewhere after work (just an example) and that she's free to join you. This way, she knows your interested but as opposed to you straight up asking her on a date, it's a more casual approach and it's her choice if she would like to join you.

If she does, great. If not, move on.

Also, letters are not the best way of getting a girls attention, it seems needy and lacks confidence. Definitely try asking her out in person next time.

So basically i should stop writting her and wait till i see her again in person? What should i say to her when i meet her? All i can think about right now is asking her why she didnt answer me, but that sounds like a pretty stupid idea I really have no clue and since i barely know her makes things even more difficult to me.

 

[DualShadow]

So basically i should stop writting her and wait till i see her again in person? What should i say to her when i meet her? All i can think about right now is asking her why she didnt answer me, but that sounds like a pretty stupid idea I really have no clue and since i barely know her makes things even more difficult to me.

Just act like everything is fine and don't even reference the email. Just talk to her normally, it will only be weird/awkward if you make it.

 

[Minamu]

Just with girls, with guy its supereasy to find conversation (NFL, Soccer, Videogames

I kinda agree from personal experience that it's easier to find subjects with guys, but if you try your damndest to view women as guys (not equal though that too of course, but the same) it should get easier to actually talk to them to begin with. You may not have thought about it but if you consider the fact that we're all humans in the end, it might get a little easier. That works pretty well for me at least. My point is, try not to view the sexes as that different. We're all people

 

[Oozinator]

Just got my first "bang girl on first date" achievement last night. I wasn't aware at first but I later realized that she was just looking to have some casual sex. All I had to do is to not blow it by just being myself and detect/act on the "IOI" (indicators of interest), such as:

-When we left the pub she asked if I were going to a latino dance party that I mentioned earlier, I realized she asked because she wants to go there with me so I suggested we meet later there and she approved
-Very responsive to "close dancing", grinding and eye contact, so I teased her for some time then reached for the kiss which was met with success.
-After leaving the party I said we should me again soon and she responded that it depends on how well the night ends, that made the "it's sexy time!" bulb light up in my head so I invited her to my house then things were going smooth from there

 

[Shanadeus]

Just got my first "bang girl on first date" achievement last night. I wasn't aware at first but I later realized that she was just looking to have some casual sex. All I had to do is to not blow it by just being myself and detect/act on the "IOI" (indicators of interest), such as:

-When we left the pub she asked if I were going to a latino dance party that I mentioned earlier, I realized she asked because she wants to go there with me so I suggested we meet later there and she approved
-Very responsive to "close dancing", grinding and eye contact, so I teased her for some time then reached for the kiss which was met with success.
-After leaving the party I said we should me again soon and she responded that it depends on how well the night ends, that made the "it's sexy time!" bulb light up in my head so I invited her to my house then things were going smooth from there

Smh.

This right here is the product of thinking of people as games to be played rather than as wines to be enjoyed.

 

[Aika'svyse]

Mr City is very smart at putting this situation into words. However, as someone like myself in the same boat as combine, i have found my own solution. I am going to get really drunk one night and kill myself! Can only endure so many bullshit years of this i have to say. Dont know when yet but i forsee sometime soon. I just need a catalyst, maybe losing my job will do it. This economy fucking sucks after all.

We all have pitfall years hang in there.

 

[ScOULaris]

Just got my first "bang girl on first date" achievement last night. I wasn't aware at first but I later realized that she was just looking to have some casual sex. All I had to do is to not blow it by just being myself and detect/act on the "IOI" (indicators of interest), such as:

-When we left the pub she asked if I were going to a latino dance party that I mentioned earlier, I realized she asked because she wants to go there with me so I suggested we meet later there and she approved
-Very responsive to "close dancing", grinding and eye contact, so I teased her for some time then reached for the kiss which was met with success.
-After leaving the party I said we should me again soon and she responded that it depends on how well the night ends, that made the "it's sexy time!" bulb light up in my head so I invited her to my house then things were going smooth from there

Every single post I ever see from you would fit with an avatar quote.

 

[Oozinator]

Smh.

This right here is the product of thinking of people as games to be played rather than as wines to be enjoyed.

My point it is very important to be able to recognize when a girl wants something but doesn't say it explicitly because she's too shy or doesn't wanna feel like a slut/cheap goes.

And I'm not very proud of what happened (feel like she used me for sex too). But perhaps this is a step into learning how to act with girls and end my forever alone status.

 

[dreadfulwater]

Yeah, I guess that's the only thing to do when it feels right.

That's going to be weird, after being forever alone for my whole life. Lose is more than hesitate I guess!

YES! this

I was on an amazing first date with an awesome gal last week. We had great dinner and walked around town hitting bars here and there...There is something magic about downtown Philly when the the night is perfect and you have a gorgeous gal you are hitting it off with. So during the date she agreed to a second...

As I was driving her home she was going through my ipod and remarking about how much we had in common. Not sure how it happened, but i sorta brushed into her hand and it turned into hand holding... so after playing with her dogs a bit she walks me outside and gives me a hug...and I just went in for the real deal... she was receptive..

So if it feels right go for it, if she pulls away at least she knows you are interested, but maybe shes just not ready or not into you. Let the second date decide. ALSO, if you DO manage to get a kiss on the first date, by all means START the second with a nice hug AND kiss...If it left off that way, continue the momentum, don't go backwards.... This has worked for me at least, as I have this girl locked into a third date already (cooking for her at her place).

 

[Jamesfrom818]

YES! this

I was on an amazing first date with an awesome gal last week. We had great dinner and walked around town hitting bars here and there...There is something magic about downtown Philly when the the night is perfect and you have a gorgeous gal you are hitting it off with. So during the date she agreed to a second...

As I was driving her home she was going through my ipod and remarking about how much we had in common. Not sure how it happened, but i sorta brushed into her hand and it turned into hand holding... so after playing with her dogs a bit she walks me outside and gives me a hug...and I just went in for the real deal... she was receptive..

So if it feels right go for it, if she pulls away at least she knows you are interested, but maybe shes just not ready or not into you. Let the second date decide. ALSO, if you DO manage to get a kiss on the first date, by all means START the second with a nice hug AND kiss...If it left off that way, continue the momentum, don't go backwards.... This has worked for me at least, as I have this girl locked into a third date already (cooking for her at her place).

So if I ended my last first date by fingering her, should I greet her by sticking my hand up her skirt?

 

[dreadfulwater]

So if I ended my last first date by fingering her, should I greet her by sticking my hand up her skirt?

YES

seriously we are just talking about a kiss here. What you do with your fingers is personal preference.

 

[Acid08]

Is that two day wait to contact a girl who's number you've gotten a real thing?

 

[dreadfulwater]

Is that two day wait to contact a girl who's number you've gotten a real thing?

no, call her the next day. I usually wait 2 days to call after a first date unless of course they call you which is great because they are showing an interest.

 

[Acid08]

no, call her the next day. I usually wait 2 days to call after a first date unless of course they call you which is great because they are showing an interest.

And calling or texting, does it even matter which one you do anymore? I guess it would depend on the girl and I don't know this girl at all.

 

[dreadfulwater]

And calling or texting, does it even matter which one you do anymore? I guess it would depend on the girl and I don't know this girl at all.

I hate texting. maybe it's because I'm older, but i think a phone call is more appropriate.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

And calling or texting, does it even matter which one you do anymore? I guess it would depend on the girl and I don't know this girl at all.

I would call first then you'll find out if she prefers one method of communication over the other. I call some girls and text others.

 

[Acid08]

Welp, ok then. Phone calls make me anxious for some reason but it would probably be the better option.

 

[Spacebar]

I would call first then you'll find out if she prefers one method of communication over the other. I call some girls and text others.

I agree with this. I think some girls are just as nervous talking on the phone as you are so that leads them to texting.

 

[Atramental]

HALP! I just need some advice on my current situation.

College has been keeping me very busy so I have no social life at the moment except for some minor chit chat between me and my fellow classmates during class.

Now there's a girl who has caught my interest but I have no time to really develop any sort of relationship with her. Maybe after Thanksgiving break or until Christmas break I'll be able to communicate with her more but I don't know. Everything is kind of chaotic right now. :/

So what I'm wondering is:
Should I just keep on talking with her whenever the opportunity arises and hopefully something will develop?

OR

Should I shoot her a friend request over Facebook as a means to "advertise" myself and then continue talking with her in class?

Basically, I'm trying build a friendship with her before I try asking her out near the end of this semester.

 

[Tenks]

If you want to date her ask her out. If you don't want to date her don't actively pursue a friendship. You'll get zoned hard.

 

[Cubsfan23]

http://www.betterdaystv.net/play.php?vid=19620

 

[Atramental]

If you want to date her ask her out. If you don't want to date her don't actively pursue a friendship. You'll get zoned hard.

Okay, then. So just "out of the blue" ask her out?

I'll probably have to do that during the week before exams or after Thanksgiving break. >_>

 

[Eggo]

Atra,

If you don't have time to date, don't date. But I'm guessing you can make time if it were important enough to you.

 

[Tenks]

Okay, then. So just "out of the blue" ask her out?

I'll probably have to do that during the week before exams or after Thanksgiving break. >_>

If you've seen her she's seen you. I'm not sure why guys think we need to do a formal introduction with business cards and make sure she knows our first, last, middle names and our mother's maiden. Asking out people "out of the blue" is pretty much normal.

In fact if you're in class with her chances are she's already decided if she'd date you or not

 

[Spacebar]

HALP! I just need some advice on my current situation.

College has been keeping me very busy so I have no social life at the moment except for some minor chit chat between me and my fellow classmates during class.

Now there's a girl who has caught my interest but I have no time to really develop any sort of relationship with her. Maybe after Thanksgiving break or until Christmas break I'll be able to communicate with her more but I don't know. Everything is kind of chaotic right now. :/

So what I'm wondering is:
Should I just keep on talking with her whenever the opportunity arises and hopefully something will develop?

OR

Should I shoot her a friend request over Facebook as a means to "advertise" myself and then continue talking with her in class?

Basically, I'm trying build a friendship with her before I try asking her out near the end of this semester.

Ask her out next time you see her.. You don't need to label it as a date. Just ask if she wants to grab some coffee after class or some shit. Then if you do that you can start setting up an actual dates. If you have time to post on GAF then you got time to date. You're not fooling me.

 

[SRG01]

Ask her out next time you see her.. You don't need to label it as a date. Just ask if she wants to grab some coffee after class or some shit. Then if you do that you can start setting up an actual dates. If you have time to post on GAF then you got time to date. You're not fooling me.

I always say: you'll make time if it's important enough for you.

edit: fuck, beaten

 

[Atramental]

Atra,

If you don't have time to date, don't date. But I'm guessing you can make time if it were important enough to you.

I swear this always happens...

I end up becoming super busy and then I see some girl that I want to go out with but I can't because I'm super fucking busy. Urgh.

If you've seen her she's seen you. I'm not sure why guys think we need to do a formal introduction with business cards and make sure she knows our first, last, middle names and our mother's maiden. Asking out people "out of the blue" is pretty much normal.

Very well. I guess it's best to be a bit of stranger that way it's less awkward.

In fact if you're in class with her chances are she's already decided if she'd date you or not

If only I could read minds...

She keeps on asking for my help on stuff in class so I don't know if that's a good indicator that she's into me. I can never tell. I have the awareness of a sea cucumber.

Ask her out next time you see her.. You don't need to label it as a date. Just ask if she wants to grab some coffee after class or some shit. Then if you do that you can start setting up an actual dates. If you have time to post on GAF then you got time to date. You're not fooling me.

Okay, okay. I'll try that out.

I'll ask her when she's getting ready to leave for her next class.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Glad to see all the progress going on in this thread and the guys getting themselves out there.

Nothing has gone down since the last update I provided...I'm tempted to forget trying to actually date, but the problem is that I legitimately don't know how to hook up--it's a completely different type of swagger than attracting a girl. I've got the "classy swag" down, but I can't for the life of me figure out the "exciting swag" it takes to pull a ONS or casual thing.

help me gafu

(Going out with one of the guys tonight, although as per usual I doubt anything will happen.)

 

[hipgnosis]

GAF I've got a bit of a problem here. After I broke up with my girl of six years I've realised my happiness is dependant whether I'm dating a girl or not. I jumped straight into a new relationship that has been going on for over two months and I don't know if this is going anywhere.

When I don't have a date planned I feel like shit and when I do I feel awesome. Now I have two dates planned for next week and this cycle just keeps on repeating.

Is it true you should take a breather after long relationships or is my behavior common?