Support NeoGAF

[Dabookerman]

Serious question...

Where do nerdy girls hang out? :/

 

[ggnoobIGN]

Ugh, I've hit the point in my relationship where my girlfriend has gone completely off the deep end.

 

[ThoseDeafMutes]

Serious question...

Where do nerdy girls hang out? :/

University computing and anime societies. You're going to have to decide whether you're more willing to put up with major personality disorders or ugly people, though. The probability that you'll find a nerdy, stable, attractive girl who isn't already taken is quite small.

 

[jaxword]

Ugh, I've hit the point in my relationship where my girlfriend has gone completely off the deep end.

How do you mean?

GAF I've got a bit of a problem here. After I broke up with my girl of six years I've realised my happiness is dependant whether I'm dating a girl or not. I jumped straight into a new relationship that has been going on for over two months and I don't know if this is going anywhere.

When I don't have a date planned I feel like shit and when I do I feel awesome. Now I have two dates planned for next week and this cycle just keeps on repeating.

Is it true you should take a breather after long relationships or is my behavior common?

If I were to do a pop analysis just based upon this, it sounds like you're a little insecure and validate yourself by being "liked" by someone...

Serious question...

Where do nerdy girls hang out? :/

As said above, all attractive nerd girls were long since taken 4 years ago, and they already have a lineup of guys waiting for them to break up for their chance. Sorry, dude.

But hey, if you don't really care about looks...then go for any nerd group on campus, like anime or my little pony or The Twilight Fan Club or whatever your campus has. There will be a group that the nerd girls gravitate to.

 

[TurboLibre]

I'm picking up some vibes from this new girl at work. We've only talked a couple of times but we have a lot in common, she even gave me a hug because we "bonded". She also made a heart shape with her hands. I'd have to be pretty stupid to ignore those signals, right? Feels stupid to ask but I've had even clearer signals from other women and the moment I made a move the girl freaked out

We work in a pretty close space so I'm assuming making a move is a bad idea. Still, at the very least I'll invite her to join me and some of the other co-workers for drinks. See where things go from there.

 

[hipgnosis]

If I were to do a pop analysis just based upon this, it sounds like you're a little insecure and validate yourself by being "liked" by someone...

The thing is I'm actually a pretty confident guy but I just need somebody to share stuff with. I find weekdays boring if I don't have somekind of plans with girls. Might be because I've gotten used to it with my previous relationship.

 

[jaxword]

The thing is I'm actually a pretty confident guy but I just need somebody to share stuff with. I find weekdays boring if I don't have somekind of plans with girls. Might be because I've gotten used to it with my previous relationship.

Just don't like being alone?

 

[Eggo]

The thing is I'm actually a pretty confident guy but I just need somebody to share stuff with. I find weekdays boring if I don't have somekind of plans with girls. Might be because I've gotten used to it with my previous relationship.

You can be confident and still be seeking validation from the girls you're with. It's not healthy to have your happiness depend on others. It sounds like you're not happy being single, which you may want to look at. If you're truly confident, you should be able to find happiness alone.

 

[Lissar]

Serious question...

Where do nerdy girls hang out? :/

Bookstores. Trust me. Just don't be creepy when you approach them and have a real conversation about a book they're thinking of buying and you'll do fine.

 

[hipgnosis]

Just don't like being alone?

Well I'm rarely alone even without dating. I live with a roommate and have big social circles.

I just enjoy dating girls and the excitement it brings, but can't seem to be without it. Don't know why.

You can be confident and still be seeking validation from the girls you're with. It's not healthy to have your happiness depend on others. It sounds like you're not happy being single, which you may want to look at. If you're truly confident, you should be able to find happiness alone.

Yeah this is a good advice. Might start to try working on being single and happy.

 

[jaxword]

Well I'm rarely alone even without dating. I live with a roommate and have big social circles.

I just enjoy dating girls and the excitement it brings, but can't seem to be without it. Don't know why.

Ooooh, now I Get what you're talking about. You're like me. I like the same thrill--I ask out girls constantly (lots of failures) and will go to any lengths to get them...and then after we date and start sleeping together...the thrill just vanishes. It's nothing she did, I just can't feel the same way. This is why I tend to go for crazy girls who also want the same thing, really.

It's as if I'm addicted to the crazy rush of early dating love and lust.

To be honest it's probably a defense mechanism against being hurt from a real long term relationship, because I've been there before.

 

[Dabookerman]

University computing and anime societies. You're going to have to decide whether you're more willing to put up with major personality disorders or ugly people, though. The probability that you'll find a nerdy, stable, attractive girl who isn't already taken is quite small.

As said above, all attractive nerd girls were long since taken 4 years ago, and they already have a lineup of guys waiting for them to break up for their chance. Sorry, dude.

But hey, if you don't really care about looks...then go for any nerd group on campus, like anime or my little pony or The Twilight Fan Club or whatever your campus has. There will be a group that the nerd girls gravitate to.

Indeed..
I have major personality disorders anyway so there you go. It probably doesn't bode well for me in the long run, and considering I've never had success outside of the internet and that I'm picky (which ain't gonna change since I know what I want..) only thing I can do is just wait and let time do the rest, heh.

Thanks for the tips anyway. I know there's a place in Manc called Kyoto Lounge, which is like.. the countries first "gaming" club. Will be going there at some point I reckon.

Shame when i went to uni it was a sausage fest

Bookstores. Trust me. Just don't be creepy when you approach them and have a real conversation about a book they're thinking of buying and you'll do fine.

Cheers.. I will see what happens.

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

I'm picking up some vibes from this new girl at work. We've only talked a couple of times but we have a lot in common, she even gave me a hug because we "bonded". She also made a heart shape with her hands. I'd have to be pretty stupid to ignore those signals, right? Feels stupid to ask but I've had even clearer signals from other women and the moment I made a move the girl freaked out

We work in a pretty close space so I'm assuming making a move is a bad idea. Still, at the very least I'll invite her to join me and some of the other co-workers for drinks. See where things go from there.

The work situation makes it a bad idea. Don't stress about the whole "she gave me signals, but might freak out" thing, I've met plenty of girls who will flirt/kiss/etc, and still wig out, heck I've even dated girls that freaked after they asked me to meet their parents. Be thankful when a girl wigs out over nothing, means she was either playing games, isn't ready to date, or is crazy, most likely all of the above.

 

[hiryu]

I've been talking to a girl from pof for almost a week. We both hit off real well and had amazing chemistry.. Well, we finally went out for dinner tonight and I'm confused if it went well or not. She was really nervous when we got there and continued to be nervous through out the day. She complemented me on being easy to talk to, we never had a awkward silence moment. We both laughed and just had great eye contact as well. She asked me if she looked like I expected and I asked the same and she answered with "yea you're hot". After the day ended I walked her to her car and she gave me a one arm hug with her face turned away... Is that a bad sign? I don't remember having a date end with a one arm hug before.


I really like this girl and like to see her again.. Should I follow up with a call or text tomorrow? Or was her signal clear enough that she wasnt interested?

I think you are fine and she was just really nervous.

 

[Tenks]

If only I could read minds...

She keeps on asking for my help on stuff in class so I don't know if that's a good indicator that she's into me. I can never tell. I have the awareness of a sea cucumber.

Luckily for you humans can read minds. However it only works indirectly. You ask her if she wants to grab coffee/lunch/dinner and if she says "yes" she likes you and if she says "no" she doesn't. Behold our collective psychic powers!

 

[Atramental]

Luckily for you humans can read minds. However it only works indirectly. You ask her if she wants to grab coffee/lunch/dinner and if she says "yes" she likes you and if she says "no" she doesn't. Behold our collective psychic powers!

Hah. Amazing.

Right now I'm conditioning my mind by linking more pain/fear to not asking her out than I am to asking her out. You wouldn't believe how anxious I am when it comes to shit like this. My neuroticism just goes through the roof.

 

[Jhoan]

I know advice has been given to him and all about going for it, but I'm having this same exact problem at the moment in practically all of my classes.

For example, there's this chick whose in my painting class that always gives me this look that just screams "talk to me." But I never do because every time I go into the studio to paint, I don't want to talk because of the rules and because I just want to focus on the painting.

In class, it's a similar thing, though not as strict because there's chances when I could talk to her such as during a break, but I'm always busy writing down my ideas. There's a part of me that wants to talk to her, but at the same time, there's a part of me that doesn't. Keep in mind, that there's only 3 of us guys in that class with me and a quiet Asian dude who keeps mostly to himself and an older man in his 50s or so, but he doesn't count.

I regularly talk to a couple of chicks from most of my classes before or after class, or if I bump into them on the hallway except for Art History (I've never talked any of the chicks in my section class) and English (unless we're forced to work in groups). There's always at least one to three chicks that I particularly want to talk to. I feel like I'm holding myself back too much and over thinking about it (e.g. the consequences, etc.). Hit me with something guys.

Anyone? I see that Atramental has the same problem, so I'm looking for more input on that.

 

[lawlohwhat]

GAF I've got a bit of a problem here. After I broke up with my girl of six years I've realised my happiness is dependant whether I'm dating a girl or not. I jumped straight into a new relationship that has been going on for over two months and I don't know if this is going anywhere.

When I don't have a date planned I feel like shit and when I do I feel awesome. Now I have two dates planned for next week and this cycle just keeps on repeating.

Is it true you should take a breather after long relationships or is my behavior common?

The thing is I'm actually a pretty confident guy but I just need somebody to share stuff with. I find weekdays boring if I don't have somekind of plans with girls. Might be because I've gotten used to it with my previous relationship.

Why does the person you're sharing time with have to be a girl that you're dating?

 

[Atramental]

Anyone? I see that Atramental has the same problem, so I'm looking for more input on that.

Pass her note that says, "Do you like me? Circle Yes or No."

Edit: Talk to her.

Fuck the rules.

 

[Combine]

So online dating.

Let me first say, cause I know Mr.City will remind me, that online dating will not help in addressing the core problem I have of not being able to converse and connect with people. And also let me say bravo, to those of you who have been fortunate with it.

I've kept at it off and on over the course of the past year, and so far, it has only been a constant source of depression. Perhaps because, for me, at the core of the whole thing, the whole process starts to feel like a job hunt. I mean, you have the initial application (the e-mail) with your resume (profile and pictures), and for the most part, you never hear back. If you're lucky you might get a phone interview, and if you're super lucky you'll get an in person interview.

I did manage at some point to meet up with a girl from OKC. We walked around the park and talked and then I treated her to coffee. At the end I said I had a great time at the end and wanted to see her again and she agreed. But, I never heard from her after that (sent her one message reiterating the last point, but no reply). Looking back on it, I probably had no clue if I was connecting to this person or not and couldn't pick up any signals at all.

Since then I've kept sending out "applications" but haven't gotten anywhere. At this point I have no clue what is wrong with me and my profile. I mean, I know there is something wrong of course, but I have no clue what it is (I mean, other than my core problems, but I don't think I'm bringing those up with my profile or pics). So I've kind of given up with this route for now.

I'm open to suggestions of course.

 

[scar tissue]

Hah. Amazing.

Right now I'm conditioning my mind by linking more pain/fear to not asking her out than I am to asking her out. You wouldn't believe how anxious I am when it comes to shit like this. My neuroticism just goes through the roof.

Are you still at that christian nutjob college? If so, don't date a hardcore christian chick
It's not worth it.

 

[Atramental]

Are you still at that christian nutjob college? If so, don't date a hardcore christian chick
It's not worth it.

I got the hell out of there ages (months) ago. Haha.
Here's the thread about it: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=435270

In my design classes at my current university there's actually a large percentage of non-religious people.

 

[scar tissue]

I got the hell out of there ages (months) ago. Haha.
Here's the thread about it: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=435270

In my design classes at my current university there's actually a large percentage of non-religious people.

Good for you, man. You're probably my favorite poster on GAF.

 

[lawlohwhat]

So online dating.

Let me first say, cause I know Mr.City will remind me, that online dating will not help in addressing the core problem I have of not being able to converse and connect with people. And also let me say bravo, to those of you who have been fortunate with it.

I've kept at it off and on over the course of the past year, and so far, it has only been a constant source of depression. Perhaps because, for me, at the core of the whole thing, the whole process starts to feel like a job hunt. I mean, you have the initial application (the e-mail) with your resume (profile and pictures), and for the most part, you never hear back. If you're lucky you might get a phone interview, and if you're super lucky you'll get an in person interview.

I did manage at some point to meet up with a girl from OKC. We walked around the park and talked and then I treated her to coffee. At the end I said I had a great time at the end and wanted to see her again and she agreed. But, I never heard from her after that (sent her one message reiterating the last point, but no reply). Looking back on it, I probably had no clue if I was connecting to this person or not and couldn't pick up any signals at all.

Since then I've kept sending out "applications" but haven't gotten anywhere. At this point I have no clue what is wrong with me and my profile. I mean, I know there is something wrong of course, but I have no clue what it is (I mean, other than my core problems, but I don't think I'm bringing those up with my profile or pics). So I've kind of given up with this route for now.

I'm open to suggestions of course.

You should have stopped at the bolded. There is no sense to doing something that fuels depressive feelings if you haven't addressed them at the core. I won't say that you shouldn't date at all, but it should be an afterthought and fit into your normal routine; sort of like a hobby amongst many other hobbies. Your observations about online dating are pretty accurate, but that really shouldn't concern you right now.

There is probably something/s in your life that you are objectifying and obsessing over that's preventing you from making substantial connections with other people. The most common thing in the way of socially reclusive people is some kind of fear. Fear can only exist if you are fearful of something. Fear is targeted and directed.

I'm not sure if this has been suggested to you in the past, but have you considered taking up a hobby or activity that really pushes you out of your comfort zone? Skydiving, rock climbing, dancing, or something else that's completely nerve wracking?

A large part of getting past social blocks are to push yourself in other ways that aren't directly related, but offer a new perspective on the finitude, fragility, and value of life. In doing so, you can get to a point where you handle or even love fearful situations.

 

[Atramental]

Good for you, man. You're probably my favorite poster on GAF.

Thanks, bro.

 

[Combine]

I'm not sure if this has been suggested to you in the past, but have you considered taking up a hobby or activity that really pushes you out of your comfort zone? Skydiving, rock climbing, dancing, or something else that's completely nerve wracking?

I've been trying to find ways to do things. Time has been a problem though since I have a job and can't take much time off (the vacation I was just on already cost me a ton since I get no paid leave). Joined some local meetup.com groups, though I'm very disappointed in them because their social outings so far are just to bars and "happy hours" which I don't care for (I think I've mentioned even one bottle of beer can make me depressed).

Another big problem I've had is the physical effects of my anxiety became so debilitating that almost anything outside of my house has become outside of my comfort zone. A good chunk of my therapy has been spent just trying to overcome that alone and we haven't got into much in the ways of social activities.

I mean, I don't want to sound like I have to date or I have to have friends or girlfriends. I've lived without them all my life so I obviously do not need them. I just become a bit concerned that, I start to become a hermit after time passes.

 

[scar tissue]

OMG since when is Combine back? Has it really already been a year since his banning?

 

[Combine]

Yep, the year past by just like that. I think I've made some progress, at least in terms of trying to accept my problems and not living in denial of how deep they really are (and thus believing there were "steps" or "quick fixes"). A big hurdle to overcome was the comparison thing, which I still struggle with, because, the mind of one such as myself will inevitably wonder... "why I must struggle with such issues that take so much time to work on, where as countless other people can jump straight into socializing just like that."

I had to just accept I'm different. And keep reminding myself that when those thoughts start to appear.

 

[MutantCyborg]

Whats a good movie to take a nerdy-ish girl to?

I haven't seen a movie in the theater for about 6 years, could someone give me some movie recommendations? I honestly don't think she'll like any "scary" movies, as she says she gets nightmares often.

 

[-PXG-]

Things have gotten pretty serious (in a good way) with the girl from work, but things aren't "official" yet. In the mean time, I met a sexy ass latina who really digs me. We have a dinner date for Monday.

 

[SpartanForce]

Its there any place besides bars, partyrs, classrooms, internet, to met a nice girl? I don't date a girl in months, its fucking killing me. I don't find fap nice at all...

 

[Atramental]

Its there any place besides bars, partyrs, classrooms, internet, to met a nice girl? I don't date a girl in months, its fucking killing me. I don't find fap nice at all...

You live in Brazil. (according to your profile information)

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the place just teeming with beautiful women?

 

[HighAmperage]

I'm picking up some vibes from this new girl at work. We've only talked a couple of times but we have a lot in common, she even gave me a hug because we "bonded". She also made a heart shape with her hands. I'd have to be pretty stupid to ignore those signals, right? Feels stupid to ask but I've had even clearer signals from other women and the moment I made a move the girl freaked out

Yep same here. I had signals like that and about 10000 other no-doubt IOI's from one I work with, but she's one of these flirts-with-everyone-to-an-absurd-degree chicks--but was even moreso with me. I have no doubt there's mutual attraction there, and I did my best to try to get something going, but ultimately she's just freaked out about dating someone from her dept, so that's that. I'll spare you all the don't shit where you eat stuff, I'm sure you're aware of the pitfalls. But definitely get her out asap and see if there's something to this or if she's just an incurable workplace flirt.

 

[Minamu]

I can tell you right now Combine, dancing is awesome I hadn't taken a single dance step in public a year ago. About 2 hours of dancing almost every friday, almost in a row too, has definitely helped me get over the fear. I have no idea if I'm any good at all, and I don't go up to random strangers and dance with them without an invite, but I don't care. It's a lot of fun if the music's right. Just got home from another 2 hour dance session (3am) and while I'm still home alone, I had a lot of fun with my friends. Progress doesn't start without you

Friend bailed on me, now I'm at a concert by myself for the first time. Should i keep to myself or try to approach people? Not looking to make a move, just be friendly.

If people have the same music interests, it shouldn't be awkward if you chat them up or if you show them you're just as excited about the music as they are. You already have something in common, right?

 

[kid ness]

Friend bailed on me, now I'm at a concert by myself for the first time. Should i keep to myself or try to approach people? Not looking to make a move, just be friendly.

 

[Combine]

I can tell you right now Combine, dancing is awesome I hadn't taken a single dance step in public a year ago. About 2 hours of dancing almost every friday, almost in a row too, has definitely helped me get over the fear. I have no idea if I'm any good at all, and I don't go up to random strangers and dance with them without an invite, but I don't care. It's a lot of fun if the music's right. Just got home from another 2 hour dance session (3am) and while I'm still home alone, I had a lot of fun with my friends. Progress doesn't start without you

I've actually thought about salsa dancing since that seems to be talked about a lot. I just wish I could find a dance class that wasn't being held during work hours. It'd be nice if I could find a class around here where I wouldn't be dancing with middle-aged and old-timers (huge community of those in this town). I suppose the latter is besides the point, but it feeds my ego mind thinking that I'm incapable of interacting/connecting with someone my own age or younger.

Its there any place besides bars, partyrs, classrooms, internet, to met a nice girl? I don't date a girl in months, its fucking killing me. I don't find fap nice at all...

Wouldn't mind knowing this too for future reference. No, I'm not expecting it as as something that will fix things of course. But, as a 31 year old guy, I've found my options very limited outside of bars where I don't do well at all (and alcohol won't be of aid to me). But hey, I can accept that my options are limited and just work from there.

 

[Acid08]

Bookstores. Trust me. Just don't be creepy when you approach them and have a real conversation about a book they're thinking of buying and you'll do fine.

lol I'm having drinks with a girl tonight who I met because she works at a bookstore I frequent. I'm kinda nervous about it actually, not freaking out I just hope it goes well! We don't know each other at all besides some small talk and laughs whenever I see her working.

 

[TurboLibre]

The work situation makes it a bad idea. Don't stress about the whole "she gave me signals, but might freak out" thing, I've met plenty of girls who will flirt/kiss/etc, and still wig out, heck I've even dated girls that freaked after they asked me to meet their parents. Be thankful when a girl wigs out over nothing, means she was either playing games, isn't ready to date, or is crazy, most likely all of the above.

I can't help but let it bother me. It's happened a number of times where the girl is making it obvious she's into me, but the moment I try to set something up with them they treat me like I'm some kind of monster. Not a rejection, but reacting like they're scared of me when I've given them absolutely no reason.

Honestly, it's made it impossible for me to try and "approach" them. I can talk to them no problem (and frequently do) but actually making a move just isn't happening. I keep getting these scared reactions when I try to make a move, so I've associated it when being creepy and weird. Honestly, I can't even admit I like a girl anymore without feeling like some sort of creep. Shit sucks.

I'll spare you all the don't shit where you eat stuff, I'm sure you're aware of the pitfalls. But definitely get her out asap and see if there's something to this or if she's just an incurable workplace flirt.

I constantly hang out with my co-workers so it'll be easy to ask if she wants to tag along for drinks. Because of what I said up top I'm probably not going to make a move though. Just ride things out and see where it goes.

 

[Calion]

Things have gotten pretty serious (in a good way) with the girl from work, but things aren't "official" yet. In the mean time, I met a sexy ass latina who really digs me. We have a dinner date for Monday.

Quick question. How do you meet so many new prospects? Is your network that expansive, or is it just simply starting a conversation with a random throughout your day?

 

[lawlohwhat]

lol I'm having drinks with a girl tonight who I met because she works at a bookstore I frequent. I'm kinda nervous about it actually, not freaking out I just hope it goes well! We don't know each other at all besides some small talk and laughs whenever I see her working.

Just play a round of It's Not Jackie Chan with her to ease the tension.

 

[Future PhaZe]

So like two months ago I had two of the worst dates of my life back to back via OKCupid. One where a girl admitted I was the rebound guy on the first date and texted another dude when she said she had to take a piss, then started crying about him. Another chick was the most awkward and immature female I've literally ever met.

Was pretty much ready to bail on the internet dating thing.

Fast forward a couple of months and I just got back from making my girl dinner and having a very romantic evening, followed by the best sex of my life. We've been official for a few days now and I couldn't imagine how a girl could be a better match for me. We snuggle on the couch with hot chocolate and watch The Walking Dead every Sunday <3.

Feels good man.

Don't give up guys.

 

[Acid08]

Just play a round of It's Not Jackie Chan with her to ease the tension.

Nothing says "I'm into you" like an angry stare.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Fat chick wants to give me a blowjob. Do I let her?

 

[Atramental]

Fat chick wants to give me a blowjob. Do I let her?

If it were me, I would let her. 'Cause I'm desperate.

But if you're not desperate then... flip a coin?

 

[neutralgamer02]

Fat chick wants to give me a blowjob. Do I let her?

Is she a friend or something, or someone you casually know who likes you?

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Not all that desperate. I'm training her so to speak so she can go out and please other men. She's rather inexperienced.

She learns valuable skills and I get blowjobs. Seems like a fair trade to me.

 

[neutralgamer02]

Not all that desperate. I'm training her so to speak so she can go out and please other men. She's rather inexperienced.

She learns valuable skills and I get blowjobs. Seems like a fair trade to me.

I see no problem with that. Her being fat isn't that big of a deal.

 

[Slayer-33]

Not all that desperate. I'm training her so to speak so she can go out and please other men. She's rather inexperienced.

She learns valuable skills and I get blowjobs. Seems like a fair trade to me.

Hahahahhahaha I fucking LOVE this post!


LMFAO


@Dark

You lucky bastard, congrats you sob

 

[Poyunch]

University computing and anime societies. You're going to have to decide whether you're more willing to put up with major personality disorders or ugly people, though. The probability that you'll find a nerdy, stable, attractive girl who isn't already taken is quite small.

Is it weird that I know a "nerdy girl" that I'm not really interested in even though I do think she's attractive?

 

[Slayer-33]

Is it weird that I know a "nerdy girl" that I'm not really interested in even though I do think she's attractive?

Give her to me.

-Edit


I am now the proud owner of post #17,000th in this thread.