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[luckyboyceo]

Good luck to both of you. May you have not bad luck like me, lol.

Cheer up man things will get better, everyone has droughts. I'm not familiar with your situation but hopefully yours doesn't last too long.

Maybe give speed dating a shot? I've never tried it but it seems like a really cool activity. Gets rid of approach anxiety and even if you don't meet anyone, most places offer drinks so it's not a completely wasted night. Grab some friends and give it a shot? Nothing to lose.

Well GAF, it appears I'm engaged. Sort of. To my best friend. Yesterday she and I decided that if we're both still single and have no kids when she turns 36 (in 13 years) we'll get married. On our wedding night we'd get really drunk, and make babies together.

Once we're married we'd both be allowed to cheat with whomever we want. We'd just be living together and raising our kids. Really weird friends with benefits...Tell me GAF, what could possibly go wrong?

notsureifserious.gif

I mean really, I'm not.

 

[NihonTiger90]

Cheer up man things will get better, everyone has droughts. I'm not familiar with your situation but hopefully yours doesn't last too long.

Maybe give speed dating a shot? I've never tried it but it seems like a really cool activity. Gets rid of approach anxiety and even if you don't meet anyone, most places offer drinks so it's not a completely wasted night. Grab some friends and give it a shot? Nothing to lose.

Haha, I'm trying to keep my chin up. Nowhere around here does speed dating, though; I'd have to drive for a few hours.

 

[Kad5]

Nothing ended up happening. Oh well.

Gotta keep chugging along.

 

[cdyhybrid]

Nothing ended up happening. Oh well.

Gotta keep chugging along.

Story of my life. Just gotta stay on the grind.

 

[Kad5]

Story of my life. Just gotta stay on the grind.

the only thing that bothers me is wondering if I could have done something?

Do I still need to work on my game or was tonight simply not the night...?

Also, i'm tired of hearing that i'd end up being a good boyfriend or that i'm "marriage material". (The girl/girls who said this weren't the girls from earlier it's just me making a statement out loud based on what I heard just recently from another girl and other girls in the past.)

 

[cdyhybrid]

the only thing that bothers me is wondering if I could have done something?

Do I still need to work on my game or was tonight simply not the night...?

1) I am not the person to take advice from
2) I was in a similarly unconventional situation (was posted in a girl-age megathread long ago, actually) and nothing came from it, probably my fault though
3) My advice (again, I'm not in a position to give advice) is don't worry about it too much - no good will come of it. On to the next. (day/girl/situation/whatever) Brain = enemy

Also, i'm tired of hearing that i'd end up being a good boyfriend or that i'm "marriage material". (The girl/girls who said this weren't the girls from earlier it's just me making a statement out loud based on what I heard just recently from another girl and other girls in the past.)

Are you me? I've heard similar and tried not to think about it. Just won't go anywhere good. Rabbit ears are bad.

 

[Kad5]

1) I am not the person to take advice from
2) I was in a similarly unconventional situation (was posted in a girl-age megathread long ago, actually) and nothing came from it, probably my fault though
3) My advice (again, I'm not in a position to give advice) is don't worry about it too much - no good will come of it. On to the next. (day/girl/situation/whatever) Brain = enemy

The only reason I ask is if it's because of my lack of game then I clearly need to improve.

If it's because it wasn't bound to happen anyway due to things I can't control then there is no improvement necessary.

 

[cdyhybrid]

The only reason I ask is if it's because of my lack of game then I clearly need to improve.

If it's because it wasn't bound to happen anyway due to things I can't control then there is no improvement necessary.

No idea man. I'll let the more experienced posters answer your question. All I can offer you is the encouragement to not let it consume your thought process. Even if you fucked up, you'll get other chances. At worst, it's something to learn from.

 

[Idde]

You'll be single in 13 years. She won't.

Yes, then the deal is obviously off. Or she could be single in 13 years and I won't. Hey, it could happen!

Why not just date her now?!

Where's the psyduck gif when you need it?

I've known her for about 9,5 years. In that time we (both) decided several times that there really isn't anything between us other then friendship. A very good friendship though.

notsureifserious.gif

I mean really, I'm not.

Well, I wasn't sure if it was serious either. About six months ago we were talking about how we both definitely wanted kids. Not with eachother (at first). Then she started joking around how, if we'd both still be single at 36, we should have kids together. Jokingly I agreed. Haven't given it any thought after that.

Then yesterday we were dancing together and somehow the subject came up again. I asked her (laughing) if she still intended to marrie at 36. She was, She asked me if I wasn't gonna bail on her. I wasn't.

Now I'm kind of thinking about it. Though it IS really (REALLY) weird. Then again I do want kids. And I know for sure she has a lot of qualitys that would make her an excellent mother.

Besides, neither of us are really planning on staying single till we're 36 and it's highly unlikely that will happen. And it's a loooong way of.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Okay, I have to share this story.

So tonight, I had a date. It was probably the best date of my life. This girl was amazing, the chemistry - immediately - was outstanding. She was funny, witty, and substantially prettier than her already very flattering OKC pictures.

At the bar where we had the date, my MONDAY date walks in and sees me, it wasn't really awkward or anything - she sees me, looks surprised, smiles and waves - I wave back, and that was that - so now I'm curious as to what's happening monday!

Anyway, after the bar I take her to a friends place nearby, tons of chemistry, my friends thought she was awesome and I, to be honest, was showing her off a bit. But we were digging each other, and eventually we leave together - so we're walking down the street and I turn to her and I say:

Me: Hey, can I ask you a question?

And she turns to me, pulls her hair over her ear, smiles and says

her: Hmmm... sure!

So I walk into her, and kiss her. Fucking amazing kisser, absolutely amazing. We kissed up and down that street. We kissed when we said goodbye - and she's still texting me right now. AMAZING date, I don't even know if I should still GO on monday's date.

One of the best nights of my life GAF.

Your euphoria reminds me a lot of myself when I first met my ex (who I simply can't get over). The feeling of 'showing her off' to your friends makes me wonder if you feel lucky that she's with you? I felt this with my ex. All I say to you is make the most of it, cherish every moment, dont become complacent or lazy with this woman. Women like this do not grow on trees, it may be YEARS before you meet another who makes you feel this way. In my case every moron on the planet was thinking about having a crack with my ex purely because I had managed to get with her. Treat her right, have fun, make the most of it and hopefully you'll be on to a long term thing with the girl of your dreams. Well played sir.

 

[ACE 1991]

Alright GAF, I just need to vent a little. So I've been very interested in this girl for about three months now, and we're quite close and spend a lot of time together. The problem is she, for whatever reason, is not interested in college relationships. I've heard this from her friends as well as from her. I sort of accepted this and slowly drifted into what I thought was the friend-zone, but last weekend at a party she kept overtly flirting with me and literally telling me "i'm hitting on you" and "I've always thought you were cute." I would have attempted to seal the deal then but I had to leave the party and deal with an emergency. Now I feel like I really just should ask her out at this point, but the fear of rejection scares the shit out of me, especially because it seems likely given her stance on relationships. Furthermore, I'm very close with her so emotionally and physically distancing myself would be difficult, which is compounded by the fact that I'm talking half of my classes with her next semester. Thanks for letting me vent guys, any sort of input or advice is greatly appreciated

 

[Eggo]

The only reason I ask is if it's because of my lack of game then I clearly need to improve.

If it's because it wasn't bound to happen anyway due to things I can't control then there is no improvement necessary.

Sounds like the first one to me.

Alright GAF, I just need to vent a little. So I've been very interested in this girl for about three months now, and we're quite close and spend a lot of time together. The problem is she, for whatever reason, is not interested in college relationships. I've heard this from her friends as well as from her. I sort of accepted this and slowly drifted into what I thought was the friend-zone, but last weekend at a party she kept overtly flirting with me and literally telling me "i'm hitting on you" and "I've always thought you were cute." I would have attempted to seal the deal then but I had to leave the party and deal with an emergency. Now I feel like I really just should ask her out at this point, but the fear of rejection scares the shit out of me, especially because it seems likely given her stance on relationships. Furthermore, I'm very close with her so emotionally and physically distancing myself would be difficult, which is compounded by the fact that I'm talking half of my classes with her next semester. Thanks for letting me vent guys, any sort of input or advice is greatly appreciated

You messed up multiple times here. If you were interested in her, you should have expressed that at the beginning, not 3 months in. As a guy, you can't be scared of rejection. If you are, you'll never get anywhere. Everybody gets rejected. It's not a big deal. What is a big deal is falling into the situation which you put yourself in.

 

[Miguel]

You messed up multiple times here. If you were interested in her, you should have expressed that at the beginning, not 3 months in. As a guy, you can't be scared of rejection. If you are, you'll never get anywhere. Everybody gets rejected. It's not a big deal. What is a big deal is falling into the situation which you put yourself in.

By not making a move, you've already been rejected. I've learned this the hard way.

 

[ACE 1991]

Sounds like the first one to me.



You messed up multiple times here. If you were interested in her, you should have expressed that at the beginning, not 3 months in. As a guy, you can't be scared of rejection. If you are, you'll never get anywhere. Everybody gets rejected. It's not a big deal. What is a big deal is falling into the situation which you put yourself in.

This is true. I spend too much time over analyzing and convincing myself that things will always go wrong with respect to women/relationships, I'm having a difficult time getting my head out of my ass.

 

[Kad5]

Sounds like the first one to me.

Well then I wish I knew what I should have done or what I did wrong.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Date is tomorrow. Should I send a text today to confirm??????

 

[Cubsfan23]

Date is tomorrow. Should I send a text today to confirm??????

no

 

[NeOak]

Date is tomorrow. Should I send a text today to confirm??????

No.

 

[thepatient666]

Please I need some advice. My best friend, and only friend doesn't want to see me ever again. I went a bit crazy lately mostly due to her moving on from me to another guy, but it's a long story. I live in a very small town, I need to get out but i'm trapped financially and don't think I could make it alone in Toronto. I work with her, she lives across the hall so I can't escape her. I feel so trapped. I can't even trust anyone in this shit town to talk to. She's all I think about. I've been trying to get things back to how they used to be, things will be good for a bit then I fuck up and push her away, but this time I think she's gone for good. I am not a strong person, I don't know how to be. I've never felt so alone in my life, and it's only going to get worse. I know I'm just rambling but I'm scared. I have no one to talk to. I can't stop crying, it's been hours...I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[MisterRoboto]

So ive been talking to this girl and our relationship is beginning to grow more and more. We decided that for christmas we would get eachother a little something. Shes really into geodes and minerals so i decided to order her a geode necklace. Its just a double terminated amethyst stone on a chain, wasnt too expensive. I just found out that she has one very similar in a different stone that her ex had gotten her. Would it be wrong for me to give her something so closely related to something her ex gave her?

 

[EXGN]

Please I need some advice. My best friend, and only friend doesn't want to see me ever again. I went a bit crazy lately mostly due to her moving on from me to another guy, but it's a long story. I live in a very small town, I need to get out but i'm trapped financially and don't think I could make it alone in Toronto. I work with her, she lives across the hall so I can't escape her. I feel so trapped. I can't even trust anyone in this shit town to talk to. She's all I think about. I've been trying to get things back to how they used to be, things will be good for a bit then I fuck up and push her away, but this time I think she's gone for good. I am not a strong person, I don't know how to be. I've never felt so alone in my life, and it's only going to get worse. I know I'm just rambling but I'm scared. I have no one to talk to. I can't stop crying, it's been hours...I don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry man, I hate to say this but at this point there's not much you can do. If you've pissed her off that much, she has to be the one doing the forgiving - the more you try to do, the more pathetic you'll seem. I would just let her know that you still care about her, that you realize you made a mistake and you'll be available if she wants to reconnect.

In the mean time, do stuff to forget about her. Emerge yourself in your studies, hobbies, work, etc. Make new connections - anything so that you aren't thinking about her. Do you and don't make excuses. She has a life outside you, you need to get one outside her.

 

[hipgnosis]

Fourth date with the law student went pretty fucking well. We hanged for 6 hours and time flew by really fast, lots of laughter for both sides. Got lots of kino in too. There was one awkward moment when a girl I know came to say hello and we chatted a while, but I don't think it was a big deal. We made out a lot when date was finishing and there is obviously a lot of chemistry. She was pretty damn gorgeous. I think there is something here.

Not sure if I'm ready for a relationship already though since I just finished a long relationship. Not worrying too much though since I'm having awesome time and this girl might really be a keeper.

 

[bluddtheersty]

Here's a question for y'all :

How to ask out a completely unknown person who you have been crushing on for a while?


She studies in the same college as i do if that helps and NO we don't share any classes together or have any common friends.

 

[Raynes]

Known this girl for a bit over a year now, we're really close, but we haven't really been able to meet up lately due to circumstances, When we do, I will definitly tell her I like her, that's not really a problem, it's long overdue now. We speak a lot via texts, and when we don't for a few days, she always tells me she misses me a lot. And we both have cute pet names for each other. Just want to know if this is normal behavior for "just friends" or is it clear she likes me?

Here's a question for y'all :

How to ask out a completely unknown person who you have been crushing on for a while?


She studies in the same college as i do if that helps and NO we don't share any classes together or have any common friends.

There is pretty much no other way other than to go up to her and start talking. May be scary at first, but it will be fine as long as she is a nice person. Talk about anything. When there is a girl I like, I usually go up to them and ask for directions or something, then just start talking about anything else e.g. weather.

 

[electricshake]

Well gaf, it's been a while since I've checked in on this thread but I thought you'd like to know that some of us girls are just as shit at this as you guys. I was in a club tonight and met a guy I totally fancied from uni for ages...and I let him fire into my (taken) mates while I talked to his gay pal. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me, until I remember I'm fucking insane. And also shit with men.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Well gaf, it's been a while since I've checked in on this thread but I thought you'd like to know that some of us girls are just as shit at this as you guys. I was in a club tonight and met a guy I totally fancied from uni for ages...and I let him fire into my (taken) mates while I talked to his gay pal. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me, until I remember I'm fucking insane. And also shit with men.

Your friends are shitty wing women. Sorry to hear that though. Chin up!

 

[electricshake]

Your friends are shitty wing women. Sorry to hear that though. Chin up!

Nah they didn't do it on purpose, they just didn't want to be rude. And they could be the best wing women in the world and I still wouldn't be able to seal the deal! But no worries, I've already resigned myself to a life of cats and gaming

 

[Minamu]

Well gaf, it's been a while since I've checked in on this thread but I thought you'd like to know that some of us girls are just as shit at this as you guys. I was in a club tonight and met a guy I totally fancied from uni for ages...and I let him fire into my (taken) mates while I talked to his gay pal. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me, until I remember I'm fucking insane. And also shit with men.

True story or not, you're talking down on yourself and that will never help you

Anyway, while I did leave the club alone last night, because I felt like an orbiter, the girl did send a text in the middle of the night complaining about me splitting (jokingly calling me a player which makes zero sense in this case). And today I spent about an hour and a half in her apartment, getting to know each other a fair bit Hugging was a bit awkward but it felt more like shyness. On both parts. Need to step it up for sure, but it's been fun so far.

 

[electricshake]

True story or not, you're talking down on yourself and that will never help you

Anyway, while I did leave the club alone last night, because I felt like an orbiter, the girl did send a text in the middle of the night complaining about me splitting (jokingly calling me a player which makes zero sense in this case). And today I spent about an hour and a half in her apartment, getting to know each other a fair bit Hugging was a bit awkward but it felt more like shyness. On both parts. Need to step it up for sure, but it's been fun so far.

You might be right on that front but I have insano self esteem issues that I even have difficulty acknowledging, let alone doing something about. I also have mad conflicting issues about what I want from a relationship (do I even want one?) - I have a fierce independent streak but secretly all I want is for a guy to come in and look after me...and don't even get me started on all the sexual hang ups I have. Basically I'm a disaster zone and no man in his right mind would ever go near me.

Urgh I'm not usually one for sharing my feelings so I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

 

[Minamu]

You might be right on that front but I have insano self esteem issues that I even have difficulty acknowledging, let alone doing something about. I also have mad conflicting issues about what I want from a relationship (do I even want one?) - I have a fierce independent streak but secretly all I want is for a guy to come in and look after me...and don't even get me started on all the sexual hang ups I have. Basically I'm a disaster zone and no man in his right mind would ever go near me.

Urgh I'm not usually one for sharing my feelings so I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Well, at the very least, you know what the problem is. That's more than some of us here can say, right? You're being awfully specific, and I think that's a good first step of fixing whatever it is you don't like. I can definitely relate to the independent streak and wanting something more. I'm sure I'm not alone in that You certainly aren't.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

You might be right on that front but I have insano self esteem issues that I even have difficulty acknowledging, let alone doing something about. I also have mad conflicting issues about what I want from a relationship (do I even want one?) - I have a fierce independent streak but secretly all I want is for a guy to come in and look after me...and don't even get me started on all the sexual hang ups I have. Basically I'm a disaster zone and no man in his right mind would ever go near me.

Urgh I'm not usually one for sharing my feelings so I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

A lot of advice here applies to girls as well as guys. Figure out what you want, who you are, and then (and only then) should you consider a relationship. You mentioned a fierce independent streak, which could signify trust issues. And a guy to come in and look after you? That doesn't solve the problem. Either he ignores it (which is bad because it becomes the elephant in the room) or he tries to fix it (and becomes overbearing and more like a parent than a partner).

 

[Miguel]

Although this date (2nd) was a bit expensive, it was freaking amazing as well. Next one is a lot less low key... but this chick is freaking awesome. lol

 

[NeOak]

You might be right on that front but I have insano self esteem issues that I even have difficulty acknowledging, let alone doing something about. I also have mad conflicting issues about what I want from a relationship (do I even want one?) - I have a fierce independent streak but secretly all I want is for a guy to come in and look after me...and don't even get me started on all the sexual hang ups I have. Basically I'm a disaster zone and no man in his right mind would ever go near me.

Urgh I'm not usually one for sharing my feelings so I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

As Lone_Prodigy said, most of the advice also applies to you. If you acknowledge your issues, what's stopping you from dealing with them? If you want to change your current situation, you gotta be the one to start the change. You can't depend on someone else to do it for you because eventually you'll reject the change since you'll feel that it was forced on you rather than being your decision.

You gotta start somewhere.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Swear to god, the next time one of my boys cockblocks me I'm going to kick him straight in the dick.

When I'm dancing with a girl, DO NOT COME OVER AND START TALKING TO HER

 

[luckyboyceo]

Although this date (2nd) was a bit expensive, it was freaking amazing as well. Next one is a lot less low key... but this chick is freaking awesome. lol

Hell yeah glad to hear it man! Sometimes it takes money to make money... if you catch my drift. [/drunkthought]

Swear to god, the next time one of my boys cockblocks me I'm going to kick him straight in the dick.

When I'm dancing with a girl, DO NOT COME OVER AND START TALKING TO HER

What?! I can't even picture that in my head, sounds so awkward.

 

[PhoenixSFT]

Oh man I just had an awesome date with a great girl from OKC! Frickin' finally!

 

[overcast]

So I've been updating you guys for a while. Got oral for the first time. Felt so goddamn good, damnnn. I felt bad because I lasted so long though... like 12-15 minutes..

Then I went down on her which was pretty fun. Got her off after some fingering too.

Good ass night. Thanks for the tips guys.

 

[Miguel]

Hell yeah glad to hear it man! Sometimes it takes money to make money... if you catch my drift. [/drunkthought]

LOL of course. Date 3 is already planned, should be pretty amazing. She's been sick this week so she toughed it out today because she really wanted to hang out like we had planned. I could tell she was a bit miserable due to the cold/flu symptoms but she didn't complain and had a great time. We have a nice jokey sarcastic rapport that both of us seem to already use in our everyday lives so it's cool to be really loose with her, and she is with me as well. Wednesday we've got a date set up with some early drinking, dinner and Dexter... and whatever else happens to happen. She asked if she needed to bring pjs...

Don't think I've ever been in anything where it seems that the girl is more into me than I am into her, and that's pretty goddamn hard because I'm really liking where this is going.

 

[bluddtheersty]

There is pretty much no other way other than to go up to her and start talking. May be scary at first, but it will be fine as long as she is a nice person. Talk about anything. When there is a girl I like, I usually go up to them and ask for directions or something, then just start talking about anything else e.g. weather.

I'm more worried about it being awkward/weird rather than scary.Nonetheless, i'll give it a try.

 

[Rahxephon91]

So I'm back girl age. While my problems are trivial, I still like asking for others for guidance. I'm an ok dude, but one of my big problems has been sheer lack of confidence. I just don't have it for many reasons, but slowly I've been realizing I'm pretty ok. So it's a battle, but I'm winning it. Anyway there is a girl in my class that has at least interested me for no real reason. As far as I'm concerned, I think I have noticed her checking me out during class, but you know that is just my viewpoint and well it could be wrong. Best not to think about that I guess. So being myself I never did anything about it until now. I decided that I need to man up and I decided to talk to the girl just randomly. I know very trivial for most, but for me it's a big accomplishment. But anyway she seemed ok talking to me, I mean it didn't feel like she was trying to brush me aside, but what do I know?

Basically though I don't know this girl, but I would like to ask her out? Should I? I know I asked if I could ask out someone I didn't know before and the response was yes, but I would just like to make sure before I pull the trigger. I guess even if I was turned down it wouldn't be a big deal.

 

[jaxword]

Date is tomorrow. Should I send a text today to confirm??????

God, no.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

God, no.

no

No.

Funny story yesterday she was the one that texted me asking what time should we do dinner (because I forgot to give a time).

 

[Dilly]

Thought about going ice skating this friday, but those places are closed so early.

Damnit! Probably going back to the cocktailbar then.

-edit-

Ah screw it, I'll just have to hurry home from school.

 

[jaxword]

Funny story yesterday she was the one that texted me asking what time should we do dinner (because I forgot to give a time).

Yes, but that's her to you. It's different for girls.

 

[Aurora]

So I'm back girl age. While my problems are trivial, I still like asking for others for guidance. I'm an ok dude, but one of my big problems has been sheer lack of confidence. I just don't have it for many reasons, but slowly I've been realizing I'm pretty ok. So it's a battle, but I'm winning it. Anyway there is a girl in my class that has at least interested me for no real reason. As far as I'm concerned, I think I have noticed her checking me out during class, but you know that is just my viewpoint and well it could be wrong. Best not to think about that I guess. So being myself I never did anything about it until now. I decided that I need to man up and I decided to talk to the girl just randomly. I know very trivial for most, but for me it's a big accomplishment. But anyway she seemed ok talking to me, I mean it didn't feel like she was trying to brush me aside, but what do I know?

Basically though I don't know this girl, but I would like to ask her out? Should I? I know I asked if I could ask out someone I didn't know before and the response was yes, but I would just like to make sure before I pull the trigger. I guess even if I was turned down it wouldn't be a big deal.

Yeah, speaking to her is a good first step. It might be trivial to some but many guys won't even do that so take all the little victories you can.

As for asking her out, it's a tough one. If she seems only luke-warm with you now then it might be a good idea to chat to her for a few more days and gauge it from there. But ultimately, you lose nothing by asking her but stand to gain a lot!

 

[Hayvic]

How would you guys deal with a sudden realization that the ending of a 7 year relationship, who was your first girl, has turned you into a jaded asshole incapable of true love?

A while back I was dating two girls simultaneously. It was quite taxing and I felt bad because I knew neither of the two would approve as the both were expecting it to grow into something more. So I cut girl 1 off a few weeks back telling her I'm not ready for a relationship, and to this day I'm sorry I cut her off knowing I'll never get to motorboat them D's again. Meanwhile things are going extremely great with girl 2 and in everything but the name she is my girlfriend. I love being around her and she makes me feel great inside. Still I can't get myself to really acknowledged I'm in a relationship, that I should meet her friends and she mine and eventually the parents. Amd that I should be faithful...

And now last thursday I met this amazing lass in a club. She was gorgeous, fun to talk to, and a freaking sexy kisser. My mate who was with me told me afterwards he got a boner from just seeing us kissing.

I guess it all means I'm not ready for a relationship and I fear that after 7 years of giving everything I had to my first love, and never even harbouring the thought of being with another girl, I am deathly afraid of commitment. Also very much incapable of choosing who to go for. It's a luxury problem I know.

I know what most of you are gonna say. That I should stick with one serious relationship, or that I should man up and tell the girl how I see things. And I know it all holds truth.

So I'm a cowardly asshole with commitment issues and I have trouble in choosing what I want to be: an all out player accepting myself an asshole or the way I used to be before my first girl wrecked me.

 

[Blader]

How would you guys deal with a sudden realization that the ending of a 7 year relationship, who was your first girl, has turned you into a jaded asshole incapable of true love?

A while back I was dating two girls simultaneously. It was quite taxing and I felt bad because I knew neither of the two would approve as the both were expecting it to grow into something more. So I cut girl 1 off a few weeks back telling her I'm not ready for a relationship, and to this day I'm sorry I cut her off knowing I'll never get to motorboat them D's again. Meanwhile things are going extremely great with girl 2 and in everything but the name she is my girlfriend. I love being around her and she makes me feel great inside. Still I can't get myself to really acknowledged I'm in a relationship, that I should meet her friends and she mine and eventually the parents. Amd that I should be faithful...

And now last thursday I met this amazing lass in a club. She was gorgeous, fun to talk to, and a freaking sexy kisser. My mate who was with me told me afterwards he got a boner from just seeing us kissing.

I guess it all means I'm not ready for a relationship and I fear that after 7 years of giving everything I had to my first love, and never even harbouring the thought of being with another girl, I am deathly afraid of commitment. Also very much incapable of choosing who to go for. It's a luxury problem I know.

I know what most of you are gonna say. That I should stick with one serious relationship, or that I should man up and tell the girl how I see things. And I know it all holds truth.

So I'm a cowardly asshole with commitment issues and I have trouble in choosing what I want to be: an all out player accepting myself an asshole or the way I used to be before my first girl wrecked me.

You're not deathly afraid of commitment or an all-out player or an asshole (unless you and girl 2 made it clear to each other that you're in a relationship, in which case yeah you're an asshole for hooking up with this other girl at the club). You were with one person for seven years. That's a long time to be with just one girl. So now that you're out, you're exploring a bunch of options because now you actually have the freedom to do that now. You're on the rebound so enjoy it.

But if you and girl 2 are serious about each other, then you have to cut the shit of hooking up with someone else at a club. Or, if girl 2 is serious about you but you don't feel the same for her, you have to make that clear to her.

 

[luckyboyceo]

So I'm back girl age. While my problems are trivial, I still like asking for others for guidance. I'm an ok dude, but one of my big problems has been sheer lack of confidence. I just don't have it for many reasons, but slowly I've been realizing I'm pretty ok. So it's a battle, but I'm winning it. Anyway there is a girl in my class that has at least interested me for no real reason. As far as I'm concerned, I think I have noticed her checking me out during class, but you know that is just my viewpoint and well it could be wrong. Best not to think about that I guess. So being myself I never did anything about it until now. I decided that I need to man up and I decided to talk to the girl just randomly. I know very trivial for most, but for me it's a big accomplishment. But anyway she seemed ok talking to me, I mean it didn't feel like she was trying to brush me aside, but what do I know?

Basically though I don't know this girl, but I would like to ask her out? Should I? I know I asked if I could ask out someone I didn't know before and the response was yes, but I would just like to make sure before I pull the trigger. I guess even if I was turned down it wouldn't be a big deal.

It's fine to ask her out, I mean after all, isn't the point of a date to get to know someone better? Sure, there may be other notions attached to it as well but ultimately, that's the main focus.

Like Aurora said, maybe talk to her a few more times and see if she starts to open up to you. If you see an opening, go for it. Even if you ask her out and she says no, so what? At least you tried. You'll be kicking yourself if you don't and it takes WAY longer to get over that than some measly rejection.

 

[Hausmeister]

So there's this girl I really like and I'm taking her out to a theatre (not the movies) in a few days. But we study the same thing, so we see each other every week. If I make a move and it blows... it's gonna be awkward. But everything else is friendzone. What to do?

 

[Hayvic]

You're not deathly afraid of commitment or an all-out player or an asshole (unless you and girl 2 made it clear to each other that you're in a relationship, in which case yeah you're an asshole for hooking up with this other girl at the club). You were with one person for seven years. That's a long time to be with just one girl. So now that you're out, you're exploring a bunch of options because now you actually have the freedom to do that now. You're on the rebound so enjoy it.

But if you and girl 2 are serious about each other, then you have to cut the shit of hooking up with someone else at a club. Or, if girl 2 is serious about you but you don't feel the same for her, you have to make that clear to her.

You are absolutely right about everything, but can it still be called a rebound after 9 months?

I agree I need to make some choices. I'm not gonna like this.