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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
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Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
I almost ended up in a home hardware store with her after going for a swim in the backyard pool. Go figure. Went in the art museum instead, and finished the night with a kiss and goodbye.
Fuck this game! Should have fucked on the couch.
edit: Hey go figure she showed me her tits while playing basketball! :lol
Fuck this game! Should have fucked on the couch.
edit: Hey go figure she showed me her tits while playing basketball! :lol
jamesinclair
Banned
Gentlemen,
So I went on that date Ive been talking about for a very long time. Some of you said it would be a fail. others called upon massive red flags. Generally, the members of this thread had a negative consensus.
Well, it was an enormous success. All of it, including the gifting of season 1 of community. More details tomorrow (I need to sleep).
So, thanks for your advice, but it appears that many of you aren't as smooth with the ladies as you think you are. My way led to great times.
So I went on that date Ive been talking about for a very long time. Some of you said it would be a fail. others called upon massive red flags. Generally, the members of this thread had a negative consensus.
Well, it was an enormous success. All of it, including the gifting of season 1 of community. More details tomorrow (I need to sleep).
So, thanks for your advice, but it appears that many of you aren't as smooth with the ladies as you think you are. My way led to great times.
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
Talking to a few different girls, the one I like the most is tough to read and giving me mixed signals, or at least what seems like mixed signals.
She has fallen asleep once on my shoulder, and once on my leg. I've caught her looking at me when we watch movies, and she will randomly take bites from my food and sips from my drinks. She will share her headphones with me, punch my shoulder, and throw stuff at me playfully. I brushed her hair back over her ear when she had her head on my knee and she was awake and didn't complain.
...but she also said the same night that "I feel comfortable around you, your like one of my brothers..." caught herself and said "well you know what I mean." She's also is very off and on about texting.
She's younger (20) and never had a bf, and is sort of shy in a way. I don't know if she's friendzoned me and is just using me as practice, if she actually likes me, or if shes just confused. She likes the Kinks, Wes Anderson, and she brought her own copy of COD over to play, so I'm a bit smitten.
What say you GAF?
She has fallen asleep once on my shoulder, and once on my leg. I've caught her looking at me when we watch movies, and she will randomly take bites from my food and sips from my drinks. She will share her headphones with me, punch my shoulder, and throw stuff at me playfully. I brushed her hair back over her ear when she had her head on my knee and she was awake and didn't complain.
...but she also said the same night that "I feel comfortable around you, your like one of my brothers..." caught herself and said "well you know what I mean." She's also is very off and on about texting.
She's younger (20) and never had a bf, and is sort of shy in a way. I don't know if she's friendzoned me and is just using me as practice, if she actually likes me, or if shes just confused. She likes the Kinks, Wes Anderson, and she brought her own copy of COD over to play, so I'm a bit smitten.
What say you GAF?
Friendzoned...the whole "you're like a brother" comment gave it away. But hey, by all means, go ahead and make a move. You'll never know if you don't take action.-ImaginaryInsider said:
Them fightin' words :lol I never said shit so don't look at me
Congrats. I hope things work out with you and your lovely.
Anyway, in that game, I got her to like me enough to the point where she said I could call and come over anytime. Gonna try and fuck her tomorrow :lol
Jamesfrom818
Banned
-ImaginaryInsider said:
Make your move quick. The longer she sees you as one of her brothers, the harder it will be to make the jump.
This.Jamesfrom818 said:
Seriously, she's made it really easy for you and blantantly obvious the she's into you. Answer her call and advance. The longer you wait, the more she will think you're either uninterested or just want to be friends. You still might have a chance.
In the words of the Thirdstrike announcer... GO FOR IT!!!!
So GAF, help me out here. I'm thinking of asking
one of the dancers out
. However, there are a few problems:
- She's 20, I'm 26 and turning 27 in a month.
- She's still in school (2nd year), and I'm finished my Masters and 3rd year into my career
However, we get along well, and she absolutely loves dancing with me.
Am I just looking for deal breakers? Or are these legitimate reasons to not date someone?
edit: btw, I got sex on the couch. Has anyone found whether sex in the Hot Tub is possible? Or the photoshoot?
another
if I haven't learnt better already
- She's 20, I'm 26 and turning 27 in a month.
- She's still in school (2nd year), and I'm finished my Masters and 3rd year into my career
However, we get along well, and she absolutely loves dancing with me.
Am I just looking for deal breakers? Or are these legitimate reasons to not date someone?
edit: btw, I got sex on the couch. Has anyone found whether sex in the Hot Tub is possible? Or the photoshoot?
If you two have good chemistry and enjoy being together, why not stick around and see where it goes? Don't make things into barriers if they weren't to begin with. You might get your dick sucked, get some booty or get a girlfriend. Find out for yourself. What do you have to lose?SRG01 said:
-PXG- said:
It's just that I hate unnecessary drama. My last ex was younger than me (she was 22) and she just did things that threw me off. So I'm a little hesitant because this one girl is even younger!
But again, this girl seems to have a good head above her shoulders. Very committed and goal-oriented.
Kccitystar
Member
OK, so like I said in a previous post, my GF of 2 years broke up with me. OVER THE INTERNET. When I went out of my way that same Friday to physically go out and meet up with her to talk, I primarily went to her house to confront her directly. She wasn't there and claimed that she was at the college. So I went to the college and told her that we can talk since I'm here. She kept insisting that we don't, that she was busy with schoolwork that day, and that we were not going to talk that day or the entire weekend, because will be busy all weekend studying for finals. Again, she insisted that we should talk on Monday.
In this span, a lot of weird things have happened. Basically, her Facebook status message said that she "tried her best", and in turn labeled me a psycho because things didn't work out and supposedly it was "on to the next one, bidding me adieu". This was a public status message shown to all of our mutual friends with comments and everything. The audacity this girl has to call me a psycho, when it was her ex-boyfriend that gave her a black eye, and it was me who she contacted first when that happened. When another ex-boyfriend threatened to kill her family with gang violence, it was me who took the initiative to file a order of protection. All of those people must be saints if I'm a psycho, especially when I never laid a finger on her in any way, or threatened her or her family's life/safety.
Facebook kind of announces relationship status changes so when it was announced on her page that she was single now, there were about 40 comments over the course of Friday. Now, Friday, I logged on, I found out my relationship with her was over, and as angry as I was, I didn't post anything on my own Facebook page. I didn't vent or rage as many mutual friends would have wanted me to, but all I typed up was "It's Personal." That was it.
For the sake of explaining what happened Saturday, I just want to throw out there that I am a DJ.
Saturday comes along, and I find out weird things happened to my account. I can no longer see her wall so I can't respond to any status messages she posts unless she posts one up that I could see. I woke up that morning and posted on my wall that I was going to post up a facebook note, and that it was going to be juicy. I kept it ambiguous, so you could say I was asking for it, but she posted a status message up that was very direct towards me. She had it in her mind already set that I was going to write a note about her and flame her to hell and back, so she posted a status message before I even published the note, about how she "dares me" to post a note about me bitching and complaining and that I have to get over myself because she has moved on. All of this while claiming to have taken the high road.
Little did she know that well, I have been pushing to release this house mix I've been working on for the winter, and I never got around to it because this garbage is consuming the time I'd spend getting around to doing it and it's not allowing me to focus. So as compensation for this nonsense, for my friends and people who listen to my stuff, I took the liberty of uploading every mixtape I had ever made since I started DJing in 2006 and putting it on that one giant fat Facebook note, with links to download them and everything. I thought it was funny that she posted that about a note that had absolutely nothing to do with her, and I haven't mentioned shit, absolutely nothing in regards to this breakup nonsense on Facebook. I've only posted one or two abstract thoughts in regards to it because out of my own maturity and self-control, I wanted to handle this shit as privately as possible. If she is taking the high road, I must be taking the high road to motherfucking SPACE with how mature and respectful I've handled everything. She's been the one who has blocked me from her wall so I couldn't read shit, then defriended me altogether that same afternoon, followed by blocking me on Twitter so I can't read her tweets. I on the other hand, have still kept my profile publicly available to all my friends like it always has been, with every friend I have able to view the same content I allow them to. I haven't blocked anybody from saying shit, and I haven't deleted any friends whatsoever.
This was a matter I wanted to seriously handle privately but she took it to Facebook to vent and talk shit. Any respect I ever had for her is fucking gone and when I do see her again I'm going to spit in her face. She's made me feel like I'm a piece of shit, like I'm not even deserving of a face to face conversation about this breakup or at least a discussion prior to coming to a conclusion, as if the two years we've spent together doesn't qualify me as worthy of a man to woman discussion.
She suggests that despite all of this, we should talk on Monday, but I'm like you know, what is there for you to talk to me about when everything you've wanted to tell me, I've found out through Facebook? Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit. I texted her and asked, "Do you seriously want absolutely nothing to do with me anymore?". The first text I've sent since all of this shit has gone down. She has not sent me a text or anything up until then, so I figure, okay, she'll respond later on, I don't care what happens.
Then I get the kicker, "No, You know that's not what I want. We'll talk on Monday."
WHAT?! After all of this fucking nonsense and literally shitting all over everything we've had together with this relationship on Facebook by talking shit about me and what I'm doing, yet she doesn't want me to disappear from her life. Yet this isn't what she wants.
*sigh* I'm not dealing with this garbage. I am just going to go to her house tomorrow, get my things and get the fuck out of this dysfunctional piece of fucking trash relationship forever. In one motion too. No talking, just action. I'm done talking. It's clear she doesn't want to be with me and it's not going to take for me to find her making out with some dude or for another guy to be balls deep plowing the shit out of this girl for me to get the hint that it's over.
I'm not going to sit here and have this girl get away with doing all of this shit like I'm some battered wife or something. Fuck all that.
In this span, a lot of weird things have happened. Basically, her Facebook status message said that she "tried her best", and in turn labeled me a psycho because things didn't work out and supposedly it was "on to the next one, bidding me adieu". This was a public status message shown to all of our mutual friends with comments and everything. The audacity this girl has to call me a psycho, when it was her ex-boyfriend that gave her a black eye, and it was me who she contacted first when that happened. When another ex-boyfriend threatened to kill her family with gang violence, it was me who took the initiative to file a order of protection. All of those people must be saints if I'm a psycho, especially when I never laid a finger on her in any way, or threatened her or her family's life/safety.
Facebook kind of announces relationship status changes so when it was announced on her page that she was single now, there were about 40 comments over the course of Friday. Now, Friday, I logged on, I found out my relationship with her was over, and as angry as I was, I didn't post anything on my own Facebook page. I didn't vent or rage as many mutual friends would have wanted me to, but all I typed up was "It's Personal." That was it.
For the sake of explaining what happened Saturday, I just want to throw out there that I am a DJ.
Saturday comes along, and I find out weird things happened to my account. I can no longer see her wall so I can't respond to any status messages she posts unless she posts one up that I could see. I woke up that morning and posted on my wall that I was going to post up a facebook note, and that it was going to be juicy. I kept it ambiguous, so you could say I was asking for it, but she posted a status message up that was very direct towards me. She had it in her mind already set that I was going to write a note about her and flame her to hell and back, so she posted a status message before I even published the note, about how she "dares me" to post a note about me bitching and complaining and that I have to get over myself because she has moved on. All of this while claiming to have taken the high road.
Little did she know that well, I have been pushing to release this house mix I've been working on for the winter, and I never got around to it because this garbage is consuming the time I'd spend getting around to doing it and it's not allowing me to focus. So as compensation for this nonsense, for my friends and people who listen to my stuff, I took the liberty of uploading every mixtape I had ever made since I started DJing in 2006 and putting it on that one giant fat Facebook note, with links to download them and everything. I thought it was funny that she posted that about a note that had absolutely nothing to do with her, and I haven't mentioned shit, absolutely nothing in regards to this breakup nonsense on Facebook. I've only posted one or two abstract thoughts in regards to it because out of my own maturity and self-control, I wanted to handle this shit as privately as possible. If she is taking the high road, I must be taking the high road to motherfucking SPACE with how mature and respectful I've handled everything. She's been the one who has blocked me from her wall so I couldn't read shit, then defriended me altogether that same afternoon, followed by blocking me on Twitter so I can't read her tweets. I on the other hand, have still kept my profile publicly available to all my friends like it always has been, with every friend I have able to view the same content I allow them to. I haven't blocked anybody from saying shit, and I haven't deleted any friends whatsoever.
This was a matter I wanted to seriously handle privately but she took it to Facebook to vent and talk shit. Any respect I ever had for her is fucking gone and when I do see her again I'm going to spit in her face. She's made me feel like I'm a piece of shit, like I'm not even deserving of a face to face conversation about this breakup or at least a discussion prior to coming to a conclusion, as if the two years we've spent together doesn't qualify me as worthy of a man to woman discussion.
She suggests that despite all of this, we should talk on Monday, but I'm like you know, what is there for you to talk to me about when everything you've wanted to tell me, I've found out through Facebook? Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit. I texted her and asked, "Do you seriously want absolutely nothing to do with me anymore?". The first text I've sent since all of this shit has gone down. She has not sent me a text or anything up until then, so I figure, okay, she'll respond later on, I don't care what happens.
Then I get the kicker, "No, You know that's not what I want. We'll talk on Monday."
WHAT?! After all of this fucking nonsense and literally shitting all over everything we've had together with this relationship on Facebook by talking shit about me and what I'm doing, yet she doesn't want me to disappear from her life. Yet this isn't what she wants.
*sigh* I'm not dealing with this garbage. I am just going to go to her house tomorrow, get my things and get the fuck out of this dysfunctional piece of fucking trash relationship forever. In one motion too. No talking, just action. I'm done talking. It's clear she doesn't want to be with me and it's not going to take for me to find her making out with some dude or for another guy to be balls deep plowing the shit out of this girl for me to get the hint that it's over.
I'm not going to sit here and have this girl get away with doing all of this shit like I'm some battered wife or something. Fuck all that.
Haha unfortunately no MS Paint since I am on my netbook, but long story short...DualShadow said:
I've been talking to this girl (heavily complicated, and I'd rather not go into details) that is from a small town and lives with her parents so she can't really get out the house unless her parents approve. Soooo a majority of the times that she goes out, she has to go out with her friend. The problem is... they're best friends and the BFF is one of those angry-shy girls that bitches at everyone but doesn't want to talk to anyone. So... I have to compete for the attention of a girl who's always being followed around by her clingy, needy, best friend of like 10 years and who's always so damn judgemental about everything.
Anyway, anytime I try to talk to her, her best friend jumps in and tries to get into the conversation or starts bringing up this *REALLY FUNNY* (I wish there was an eye-rolling smiley) old memory that the two share and I'm over here banging my head on the wall. Even when I have my arm around the chick, the other girl starts hovering so my arm is like against HER arm and I'm like wtf?
Her friend always wants to come along too even when I want to go with the girl alone and 1) girl realistically can't get out the house without the other girl or she'll get in trouble with her parents and 2) she'd feel bad if she said her friend couldn't come along. Even when I was about to get this girl to spend the night with me, her friend wanted to come back and sleep in my place. And FFS, she was gonna sleep in the same fucking bed as us. Seriously, the wall must've had billions of dents in it from how many times I banged my head into it.
Ugh even remembering this one instance (of many) is making want to kill something. Khgiahgahgahgk;ahjgfahgjahg;akgfjask
Taking the train to my girl right now. Can't wait to see her. Yet for some reason I'm also afraid of fucking it up today, I have had a bad feeling in my gut since yesterday that I can't seem to shake. I need to slap some sense into myself and be confident. This girl really digs me and the feeling is mutual. Wish me the best GAF and let's hope my instincts fail me for once this year.
industrian
will gently cradle you as time slowly ticks away.
Aurora said:
A Japanese girl did.
Ether_Snake said:
Unless you're living in a cardboard box I don't see the problem. July is far far away.
serotonina
Member
SRG01 said:
We really did not do a lot of sleeping did we?
On a scale of 1 to 10, you get a 10.
sooperkool
Member
Kccitystar said:
Keep to the high road man. Its over, accept that she's irrational and you will never get any closure. Be happy that you are cut off from her online persona as it will make things that much easier for you. Now delete her from your phone and don't send/read any texts from her and keep on spinning. Its for the best.
edit: I know that you already plan to do this, I am just offering support so that others can see how to deal with bullshit like this too.
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
Jamesfrom818 said:
I've only known her for a month or so, and she's really inexperienced, we were both in wedding together and everyone ran up to her and said we made a really good couple and I think that might have freaked her out. She mentioned that she doesn't want to get married till she's 23, and told her best friend that me and her were only friends, but then she touches me and bumps into me a lot, and changed next to me.
I do think she likes me, but I think she panics and friendzones guys, but I will give it the old college try.
Thank you, none-pale-friendless virgin GAF for the advice.
Lionheart1827
Member
Kccitystar said:
Good for you man. Like someone just said, keep to the high road, do your best not to falter. Dont let her shit get to you. Isn't worth it at all especially now that you see how two faced she is. Keep to the high road as hard as it is and youll come out of it stronger and feeling like a much better man.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
At leas you're getting somewhere! I'm just treadin old ground with old girls and it's not worth it, but it's an easy fuck a the end of the dayMr.City said:
OKCupid is proving to be miss and miss. It's got nice girls who only respond selectively and I'm not bothered to email then some goofy shit. Then I got some chicks hollering buy eh, I'm too picky!
There was one today though, half Swedish, my age, lives nintendo and has a collection of old school consoles. I actually feel to contact her but know it'll end in nothing
jamesinclair
Banned
jamesinclair said:
Ok, so details of the date:
We met at a bookstore. I had said 3:25 but didnt show up until 3:50 due to traffic, but she was cool about it. There were 15 minutes of "where are you" inside the store. We met, and then walked outside. I wanted to walk around a bit, but it was too cold, so we proceeded to the previously decided upon food place.
Food was had, as was cider. There was lots of conversation. When the bill came I didnt know what to do, as I wasnt sure if this was a date or a friends thing. She didnt jump out to pay the bill so I decided to pay. Probably a good move.
From there we went to a coffee shop that has board games and played scrabble and talked for a while. She was supposed to kick my ass, but I got 39 points with "chav" and jumped in the lead. Upon further reflection, it was an illegal word.
So we finished up there and walked around a bit. I left it on her to decide what was next. Eventually, she decided to invite me over, although was quite shy about it. It was quite adorable.
So we sit at the bus stop and she asks me to hug her because shes cold. I'd been thinking about doing it, but Im a giant pussy. We then arrive at her place, turn on the pats game, but didn't watch more than a minute of it. I suck at knowing when to kiss someone, even though our noses were touching, so I made her do it by telling her that it is the hosts responsibility to plan couch activities.
Unfortunately I had to leave after an hour to catch the last bus.
There was making out, and it appears she would have gone further if I could have stayed longer. But thats ok, I think first dates with boobs are just fine.
As I was leaving, I popped out season 1 of community and told her to pretend it was Thursday. She made a happy face and then apologized for not having a gift for me.
So great success. I hope to see her again today, or at worst tomorrow, as I leave Wednesday.
Of course GAF advice would say to wait 2-3 days, but there is no time.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
OK I'll paste my email to her in this thread for critique (after I've sent it)
sooperkool
Member
Jamesinclair,
GAF advice is play it by ear. Only you know if seeing her soon again will work for you and sometimes up tempo dating can work out. I say go for it. See her again as soon as possible.
GAF advice is play it by ear. Only you know if seeing her soon again will work for you and sometimes up tempo dating can work out. I say go for it. See her again as soon as possible.
Kccitystar
Member
OK, so today is the big day for this "talk" that she wants to have with me. My mindset going into this talk is to just let her have it, and let her know the deal. I know it's against Girl/Date-GAF's recommendation but my situation with this girl is a little overwhelming.
I promise I will try to be brief, but here's Part 1 to this backstory, going as far as the end of November up until two Fridays ago:
On the 29th of November I believe, she pretty much wanted us to talk, but she wasn't willing to make time to talk so I said it must not be so important if you can't make time to talk. Her way of talking to me is not like human interaction, so she just throws it out there that we need time apart, and that she's sorry. OVER THE PHONE. Personally I got angry because when it comes to relationship stuff like this I want to keep things face to face in person. So I immediately go, fine, I will go get my things, and we both agree to do that on Tuesday, the 30th. We meet, and I tell her, if she was seriously breaking up with me and if that was something she really wanted to do, I guess that shook her confidence up big time because told her flat out, I am not going to be a friend.
So while I tell her that if things are going as rocky as she thinks our relationship is going, we should spend some more time together and work out our issues through these rough times. She tells me well, give me a week to think things through. I'm like, WTF a week? you need a WEEK to determine a YES or NO question? Are you fucking kidding me, bro?
I told her to pretty much take finals week to determine what she wants to do, but she acted really weird when we hung out two Fridays ago. In the meantime, I reached out to a handful of female friends and played catchup, at least I'm getting some wheels turning in the event I find myself single, which I came to realize the moment she asked for a break, since I believe breaks are load of fucking shit, especially when you've been together longer than well, I don't know of a cutoff date to consider breaks, but I'll say about however long it takes before you start to seriously, fully invest emotions, time and money into your relationship with a woman.
Couple of Fridays ago, I accompany her (she invited me) to go to the clinic with her for a dental check up followed by an overall checkup for medical clearance as she'll be having surgery on the 11th of January. I knew going in that we were taking a break from each other and stuff but I still considered us a couple just working things out day by day, as we spoke almost every night and stuff. We hung out afterward and went to grab a bite to eat, and doing what boyfriends do, I tried to slip in a kiss while we were together and she did something I didn't expect her to do: She deflected. She backed away from me and said "Stop". I'm like what the fuck, and I tell her, "Ok so what are we now, friends?" for her to reply with "I never said that."
That alone gets my blood boiling. You never have to say anything for me to understand something. If your body language tells me, you don't have to even verbalize it. I mean, I forget, she doesn't understand how human interaction works given how she is always wanting to verbalize shit over the internet, but anyway...
Later on that night, I brought this up to her, and she drops a line that I should have taken as our relationship being fully over, that this break is just a crock of shit and just delaying the inevitable. She says, "technically we are not together, and you gave me a week to think about things." I was confused so I say, "well what the fuck is this, are we single or something" and she goes "I'm not putting a label on it, if you want to, that's on you." I wanted to take my computer monitor and fling that shit across the room. I don't know what gets into girls or people but for fuck's sake, relationships don't have a stupid fucking gray area. Either you are in one or you aren't. Plain and simple. Also, when you want to "take time" to think things over, if you have been with somebody long enough, that decision doesn't take fucking weeks, or months or whatever. You already know the person enough within that span of your relationship to know how they are.
Part 2, when we go to the club the day after and the argument that follows, will be posted shortly.
I promise I will try to be brief, but here's Part 1 to this backstory, going as far as the end of November up until two Fridays ago:
On the 29th of November I believe, she pretty much wanted us to talk, but she wasn't willing to make time to talk so I said it must not be so important if you can't make time to talk. Her way of talking to me is not like human interaction, so she just throws it out there that we need time apart, and that she's sorry. OVER THE PHONE. Personally I got angry because when it comes to relationship stuff like this I want to keep things face to face in person. So I immediately go, fine, I will go get my things, and we both agree to do that on Tuesday, the 30th. We meet, and I tell her, if she was seriously breaking up with me and if that was something she really wanted to do, I guess that shook her confidence up big time because told her flat out, I am not going to be a friend.
So while I tell her that if things are going as rocky as she thinks our relationship is going, we should spend some more time together and work out our issues through these rough times. She tells me well, give me a week to think things through. I'm like, WTF a week? you need a WEEK to determine a YES or NO question? Are you fucking kidding me, bro?
I told her to pretty much take finals week to determine what she wants to do, but she acted really weird when we hung out two Fridays ago. In the meantime, I reached out to a handful of female friends and played catchup, at least I'm getting some wheels turning in the event I find myself single, which I came to realize the moment she asked for a break, since I believe breaks are load of fucking shit, especially when you've been together longer than well, I don't know of a cutoff date to consider breaks, but I'll say about however long it takes before you start to seriously, fully invest emotions, time and money into your relationship with a woman.
Couple of Fridays ago, I accompany her (she invited me) to go to the clinic with her for a dental check up followed by an overall checkup for medical clearance as she'll be having surgery on the 11th of January. I knew going in that we were taking a break from each other and stuff but I still considered us a couple just working things out day by day, as we spoke almost every night and stuff. We hung out afterward and went to grab a bite to eat, and doing what boyfriends do, I tried to slip in a kiss while we were together and she did something I didn't expect her to do: She deflected. She backed away from me and said "Stop". I'm like what the fuck, and I tell her, "Ok so what are we now, friends?" for her to reply with "I never said that."
That alone gets my blood boiling. You never have to say anything for me to understand something. If your body language tells me, you don't have to even verbalize it. I mean, I forget, she doesn't understand how human interaction works given how she is always wanting to verbalize shit over the internet, but anyway...
Later on that night, I brought this up to her, and she drops a line that I should have taken as our relationship being fully over, that this break is just a crock of shit and just delaying the inevitable. She says, "technically we are not together, and you gave me a week to think about things." I was confused so I say, "well what the fuck is this, are we single or something" and she goes "I'm not putting a label on it, if you want to, that's on you." I wanted to take my computer monitor and fling that shit across the room. I don't know what gets into girls or people but for fuck's sake, relationships don't have a stupid fucking gray area. Either you are in one or you aren't. Plain and simple. Also, when you want to "take time" to think things over, if you have been with somebody long enough, that decision doesn't take fucking weeks, or months or whatever. You already know the person enough within that span of your relationship to know how they are.
Part 2, when we go to the club the day after and the argument that follows, will be posted shortly.
Ether_Snake
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Kccitystar said:
Tell her you want nothing to do with her ever again and that she's crazy. Gotta say she's crazy. Then you absolutely never ever talk to her again, never answer if she calls, block her from everything you can block her from, etc.
Of course she will come back crawling to you within the next few weeks/months but keep the door completely closed and never reply to her. Act like she doesn't exist. And get another girl.
After all that chances are she will supernova.
edit: And fuck that "let's talk on Monday", call her now and tell her you don't want to talk, you move on, and hang up, and THE END.
Any other option makes you a loser in this case, cause she will win this shit if you go talk to her, period. Those kind of girls want the kind of closure where they'll feel like they are sane and that you're the crazy one who is in the wrong. DO NOT GIVE HER THE WIN. Call this shit off.
And no one cares about part 2. It just shows you are playing her stupid game of trying to prove you're the one who is right. FUCK THAT
Kccitystar
Member
As stated, here's Part 2 to this debacle which has led me to the breakup and everything else:
Saturday comes along and prior to this break, we decided to attend two shows that night. She's a fan of Punk music, so she wanted to go to a show that night at a local bar which had local punk bands playing. This place was familiar to me as I have accompanied her multiple times to these shows. The bands that play are really cool and I became friends with some members given how often she goes to see these bands play. I guess seeing as we were going to spend most of the night together alone, she messaged me that day saying that her sister is coming along also (her sister is 16, for future reference), and two of her guy friends are coming also (both are guys I don't like, although one of them is bisexual with a boyfriend, again, just throwing this out there). I immediately decide tonight is going to be a super disaster. Now, on my end, the show I want us to go to is at a club, where there will be house music playing and one of my favorite DJs will be mixing. We manage to work out a set schedule where it benefits the both of us. We will go to her punk show in Queens and see these bands play until 10:30 then head back into Manhattan for the club.
That Saturday night, we went to her show first, and turns out both of her guy friends flaked and her sister stayed at home. Her sister staying was great, because I would have had to pull some strings for her to even get inside a 21 and over club, and me knowing the resident DJs wouldn't have done me any favors anyway. In the end, it was just the two of us. I thought the night was going to be good, like I'd be on easy street but then I saw the warning signs approaching and as the night went on, I knew something was gonna happen and one of us was going to be angry.
She wanted to stay and see this one band play their entire set. This place where these punk bands are performing is in Queens, and it's within like a 15 minute walking distance to the train. To get to Manhattan for my event, the trip from where we were in Queens takes 45 minutes to an hour. The initial plan was to leave at 10:30-ish to get to my show at 11:00 or so, since it would be free before midnight and I wouldn't pay for shit. I was already on the guest list plus 1, so this girl could go in for free, but she stays and goes, "You can leave before me and I can pay, and you can go for free, I want to hear this band play."
I stay, because I want to leave together like we agreed to, so we end up leaving together at 11:15, to catch the train at 11:30 because of the long trip to the train station. The trains go local so we get to where this place is at, at like 12:15 or so. By now I'm about to blow a gasket because now I have to pay $20 for the both of us (after 12 it's $10 a head) to get in when we could have gotten in for free had this bitch not tried to stall on purpose to hear a band she's heard at different venues like 20 times this year, and at that fucking place more than 10 times already.
I don't show her I'm upset at her though, I blame it on the trains and not her like I should have. Then she has the audacity to throw a low blow in and go "See, I told you to go before me, so I would end up paying and not us together, but you chose to be my tail". I ignore this, and we go in, I greet all the resident DJs that I'm cool with over there, and we put our coats and shit by the DJ booth and she heads to the bar. She goes, gets a cup of ice with tap water and stays on the wall while I get comfortable and starts to dance. I ask her to dance with me and she outright refuses, and her attitude is pretty much, "I don't want to dance, this isn't my kind of music, you don't dance when you go to shows with me." I tell her, "Punk music is not music I can dance to, this music is".
So she straight up refused to do shit the entire time, like, she just stood on the wall and did nothing. Everybody's dancing and having a good time except this one party pooping bitch. It's like if I went to go see one of her favorite bands perform and I'm booing the whole night, I'm not bopping my head or moving my feet to the beat of the music or anything. So I got angry and I told her, "for one night, just forget that we took a break and let's just have a good time. I know it's awkward but think of it as just us spending time together. 6 months ago I took you to this club and we danced and had a blast together, and you insisted we go every month that there is an event like this". So if refusing to even dance wasn't strike 3, this was:
She goes, "I'm having a good time, I'm here listening to the music and having fun, you can dance if you want". I got FURIOUS because that's when I was like OK, this bitch, even though I paid for the two of us to come in here and chill out and have fun, is doing this out of pity because she's not doing shit with me even though I brought her here for us to have fun and chill out. So we leave the club but she leaves really furious as fuck because I kept stopping her asking her what the fuck her problem was. She tells me she's mad and doesn't want to speak to me today but tomorrow (Sunday) she'll talk to me online instead of face to face like a normal human being right then and there.
I got mad and told her, okay, if you are going to keep treating me like a total stranger even though I'm going out of my way to fucking take you out and share my fun time with you, then what are we doing taking a break, we might as well be done as a couple period. That night, she was thirsty, I bought her something to drink for us to share. We were both hungry, so I shared my chinese takeout meal with her for us to eat, and on top of that, I PAID FOR HER CAB RIDE HOME since the buses stop running after midnight. After that night, I was personally fucking done. It occurred to me that despite my efforts, it doesn't mean shit in her eyes and this girl is an unappreciative cunt.
Needless to say, we never had that talk. This whole week, we barely spoke to each other and Thursday was my breaking point. After I told her if the goal was to get back together, for us to spend time with each other or at least make time to do so, and none of that happened, this bitch went to a bar with my friends who I am already having strained friendships with, that I am trying to make amends with. As angry as I was, I didn't vent but I was really upset, and I mentioned that I was close to breaking a rule I didn't want to break and air out my shit on Facebook out of anger, and I guess she took that as me being a "psycho" or whatever, so on Friday, you know the rest.
That talk she wanted us to have dragged into the conversation she wants to have today which I will not let her have. I already called her and said I am not going to meet up to talk. Right now my goal is to just go to her house, which in turn will have her family members there, pick up my things and GTFO. No conversations, nothing, as it will lead to nowhere. I don't need this shit, and fuck closure.
Saturday comes along and prior to this break, we decided to attend two shows that night. She's a fan of Punk music, so she wanted to go to a show that night at a local bar which had local punk bands playing. This place was familiar to me as I have accompanied her multiple times to these shows. The bands that play are really cool and I became friends with some members given how often she goes to see these bands play. I guess seeing as we were going to spend most of the night together alone, she messaged me that day saying that her sister is coming along also (her sister is 16, for future reference), and two of her guy friends are coming also (both are guys I don't like, although one of them is bisexual with a boyfriend, again, just throwing this out there). I immediately decide tonight is going to be a super disaster. Now, on my end, the show I want us to go to is at a club, where there will be house music playing and one of my favorite DJs will be mixing. We manage to work out a set schedule where it benefits the both of us. We will go to her punk show in Queens and see these bands play until 10:30 then head back into Manhattan for the club.
That Saturday night, we went to her show first, and turns out both of her guy friends flaked and her sister stayed at home. Her sister staying was great, because I would have had to pull some strings for her to even get inside a 21 and over club, and me knowing the resident DJs wouldn't have done me any favors anyway. In the end, it was just the two of us. I thought the night was going to be good, like I'd be on easy street but then I saw the warning signs approaching and as the night went on, I knew something was gonna happen and one of us was going to be angry.
She wanted to stay and see this one band play their entire set. This place where these punk bands are performing is in Queens, and it's within like a 15 minute walking distance to the train. To get to Manhattan for my event, the trip from where we were in Queens takes 45 minutes to an hour. The initial plan was to leave at 10:30-ish to get to my show at 11:00 or so, since it would be free before midnight and I wouldn't pay for shit. I was already on the guest list plus 1, so this girl could go in for free, but she stays and goes, "You can leave before me and I can pay, and you can go for free, I want to hear this band play."
I stay, because I want to leave together like we agreed to, so we end up leaving together at 11:15, to catch the train at 11:30 because of the long trip to the train station. The trains go local so we get to where this place is at, at like 12:15 or so. By now I'm about to blow a gasket because now I have to pay $20 for the both of us (after 12 it's $10 a head) to get in when we could have gotten in for free had this bitch not tried to stall on purpose to hear a band she's heard at different venues like 20 times this year, and at that fucking place more than 10 times already.
I don't show her I'm upset at her though, I blame it on the trains and not her like I should have. Then she has the audacity to throw a low blow in and go "See, I told you to go before me, so I would end up paying and not us together, but you chose to be my tail". I ignore this, and we go in, I greet all the resident DJs that I'm cool with over there, and we put our coats and shit by the DJ booth and she heads to the bar. She goes, gets a cup of ice with tap water and stays on the wall while I get comfortable and starts to dance. I ask her to dance with me and she outright refuses, and her attitude is pretty much, "I don't want to dance, this isn't my kind of music, you don't dance when you go to shows with me." I tell her, "Punk music is not music I can dance to, this music is".
So she straight up refused to do shit the entire time, like, she just stood on the wall and did nothing. Everybody's dancing and having a good time except this one party pooping bitch. It's like if I went to go see one of her favorite bands perform and I'm booing the whole night, I'm not bopping my head or moving my feet to the beat of the music or anything. So I got angry and I told her, "for one night, just forget that we took a break and let's just have a good time. I know it's awkward but think of it as just us spending time together. 6 months ago I took you to this club and we danced and had a blast together, and you insisted we go every month that there is an event like this". So if refusing to even dance wasn't strike 3, this was:
She goes, "I'm having a good time, I'm here listening to the music and having fun, you can dance if you want". I got FURIOUS because that's when I was like OK, this bitch, even though I paid for the two of us to come in here and chill out and have fun, is doing this out of pity because she's not doing shit with me even though I brought her here for us to have fun and chill out. So we leave the club but she leaves really furious as fuck because I kept stopping her asking her what the fuck her problem was. She tells me she's mad and doesn't want to speak to me today but tomorrow (Sunday) she'll talk to me online instead of face to face like a normal human being right then and there.
I got mad and told her, okay, if you are going to keep treating me like a total stranger even though I'm going out of my way to fucking take you out and share my fun time with you, then what are we doing taking a break, we might as well be done as a couple period. That night, she was thirsty, I bought her something to drink for us to share. We were both hungry, so I shared my chinese takeout meal with her for us to eat, and on top of that, I PAID FOR HER CAB RIDE HOME since the buses stop running after midnight. After that night, I was personally fucking done. It occurred to me that despite my efforts, it doesn't mean shit in her eyes and this girl is an unappreciative cunt.
Needless to say, we never had that talk. This whole week, we barely spoke to each other and Thursday was my breaking point. After I told her if the goal was to get back together, for us to spend time with each other or at least make time to do so, and none of that happened, this bitch went to a bar with my friends who I am already having strained friendships with, that I am trying to make amends with. As angry as I was, I didn't vent but I was really upset, and I mentioned that I was close to breaking a rule I didn't want to break and air out my shit on Facebook out of anger, and I guess she took that as me being a "psycho" or whatever, so on Friday, you know the rest.
That talk she wanted us to have dragged into the conversation she wants to have today which I will not let her have. I already called her and said I am not going to meet up to talk. Right now my goal is to just go to her house, which in turn will have her family members there, pick up my things and GTFO. No conversations, nothing, as it will lead to nowhere. I don't need this shit, and fuck closure.
Kccitystar
Member
Mr.City said:
Every relationship has their obstacles, some higher than others, and some are just a clusterfuck. Some people in this thread alone have problems approaching women, asking women out, or overall trying to seal the deal with women. Some of us know what to do with the bullshit girls/women try to pull, and some of us do not know how to properly maneuver around the battlefield when it comes to dealing with the ups and downs with relationships.
Seeing as my relationship with this unappreciative cunt has turned into a fucking nightmare, I figured I'd want to share my horror story, helping me at least cope with such a foolish investment of time money and emotions and indirectly entertaining those who want to read about some of the drama that comes with dysfunctional relationships.
Honestly, it's not like I'm asking GAF to forgive me or something like that, nor am I seeking sympathy for my situation, but to me it's something worth sharing where I can understand what she did wrong, where I fucked up and where she went wrong, and I can use this shitty relationship as a stepping stone to choose better compatible partners for me to be in a relationship with.
jamesinclair
Banned
whitehawk said:
Unless you plan on breaking up with her soon, you should definitely do this.
captmcblack
Member
Kccitystar said:
If she broke up with you, unless you did something obviously wrong (cheating/getting caught, maiming her family members, causing her to lose her job, fucking up her relationship with her family or something, etc), then she is wrong. Always. Forever.
She doesn't find you attractive anymore, or she wants to try new dick, or she doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, or she's crazy...whatever. It is her failure, and it's her loss - never yours, because you are an awesome dude. Put that shit in your pocket and carry it around; it applies to every relationship you will ever be in for time immemorial.
After you take that to heart, then you can honestly try to audit the relationship (assuming it was one you wanted to keep being in before she went looney tunes). Maybe you could've been more attentive, or maybe you needed to be less clingy, or whatever number of other things. But that sort of clarity can only come after you accept the above.
Kccitystar said:
You shouldn't put nearly this much thought or energy into this bullshit. Easier said than done, I know. We've all been down that road at some point in our lives. I was too, not so long ago. It hurt a lot, but I eventually got over it and moved forward. Without a doubt, you feel angry, betrayed, frustrated and whole mess of other negative feelings. Part of you wants to reconcile and smooth things over while another part wants you see the bitch burn for what she did. The best piece of advice anyone can give, is to just move the fuck on with your life. Don't talk to her and try your best to put her out of your mind.
Hang out with your boys tonight and start talking to new girls tomorrow, or as soon as possible. You'll feel better and find someone else in due time.
- Status