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[soultron]

So earlier on today I called the girl whose number I got on NYE, but it just rang until eventually going to voicemail. I didn't leave a message as I felt it would be weird since we haven't spoken on the phone yet. The good news is, she said her name on the voicemail message, so I didn't get a fake number.

Since she didn't answer when I called, my question is: how long should I wait to try calling again? And if it so happens after a period of time that she just never answers, should I ever leave a voicemail or text? Or do I take it as a hint and just move on?

She might not have answered because she doesn't have your number yet (right?). Call her again and leave a message. Wait a few days first.

 

[SephCast]

She doesn't have my number though, so she won't know for sure that it was me who called. And because of that she may not necessarily try to call it back. But I guess I'll give it a couple days then and try again.

If she doesn't answer next time, leave a text. Voicemail is so obsolete now.

 

[soultron]

If she doesn't answer next time, leave a text. Voicemail is so obsolete now.

I disagree. I think it shows you actually took the time to say, in your own voice, that you'd like to do something with that person. Plus, if you sound anything like Barry White, you can score points with your bangin' baritone sounds.

 

[BentMyWookiee]

I disagree. I think it shows you actually took the time to say, in your own voice, that you'd like to do something with that person. Plus, if you sound anything like Barry White, you can score points with your bangin' baritone sounds.

I do have a deep voice and can do a decent Barry White impression :lol

 

[grap3fruitman]

You got out and met a new girl. She showed interest. That isn't progress? Even if it's little steps at a time, it's still a good thing.

We said "Hi" and that was it.

 

[jamesinclair]

I was waiting for someone to answer him seriously. :lol What have you done? Now the FBI will be patrolling this thread.

I only brought it up because over the past day 3 different people have talked about sleeping with an 18/19 year old.

 

[soultron]

We said "Hi" and that was it.

Well, next time you just gotta try to do more, that's all.

 

[TurboLibre]

I'm telling you guys, the quarterly system changed my life.

I did that most of last year only I made monthly goals. It's great and I'm trying to get back into it (new job/dog died knocked me out of the routine for a little while). It works especially well for me since I'm not that good at remembering my accomplishments, so it helps to have a list laid out reminding what I did in a short amount of time and to motivate me on what I need to do next. I really cant recommend it enough.

That's the way to go about it. A lot of guys here are having mid life crisis in their early 20s :lol . Focus on yourself and girls will come along. Just figure out who you are and what you're looking for.

I've always focused on myself and no, they don't.

 

[SRG01]

Okay, a question of my own:

I've been talking to this girl online for about two-three weeks now. She's pretty cool, a bit low key, but we definitely have some compatibility. She's also the one to start asking more questions about me when the conversation slows down, which I'm more than happy to answer. We're meeting this Thursday for tea/coffee.

In the meantime, there's this other girl I'm talking to online as well. She's pretty (redhead) and tall (edit: two full inches taller than me). Turns out that we've actually met/spoken once or twice in person through the dance club. She also has a sexy British/Australian accent, spunky, and she has this outdoorsy beauty to her. We hit it off right away, and we're apparently a good match on OkC (82% yesterday, and 84% as of today).

My problem isn't choosing between the two, because I know that I'll probably ask out girl #2. My problem is how I should approach things. I could ask her right now to see if she's available this weekend. Or I could ask her if girl #1 doesn't work out. Should I stay focused, or look as much as possible since I'm not committed to anything?

Keep in mind that I'm not looking for a physical relationship or sex right off the bat. I'm looking to date and/or have a relationship.

Anyone?

 

[soultron]

SRG, I don't know why you can't just roll with both for a bit. Why cut things short if neither of them have really raised any red flags yet?

Plan dates with both. Get on #2 for a date for sure, since you sound very attracted to her. Still, keep both going. #2 could turn out to be a bomb down the line, but you'll never know until you set things up first.

 

[Scarecrow]

Well, I've tried an online dating site for about a year now with no luck. For someone who's kind of a teetotaler, where's some good places to meet some ladies in the real world?

 

[soultron]

Well, I've tried an online dating site for about a year now with no luck. For someone who's kind of a teetotaler, where's some good places to meet some ladies in the real world?

How old are you?

If you're in university, join a club. Trust me. (Read my last major post a couple back. Haha.)

If not, try some co-ed sports teams? Friends of friends? Volunteering is also a great one.

 

[jamesinclair]

Well, I've tried an online dating site for about a year now with no luck. For someone who's kind of a teetotaler, where's some good places to meet some ladies in the real world?

Target?

I don't know why, but my local target only hires smoking hot 20 year old girls.

Well, I do know why, the manager is probably a pervy 48 year old.

But still. Damn. Makes me want to get a job there.

 

[SRG01]

SRG, I don't know why you can't just roll with both for a bit. Why cut things short if neither of them have really raised any red flags yet?

Plan dates with both. Get on #2 for a date for sure, since you sound very attracted to her. Still, keep both going. #2 could turn out to be a bomb down the line, but you'll never know until you set things up first.

Well, I guess the overall question would be: If I happen to be dating both, then how do I choose between the two when things get serious?

Honestly though, the more serious answer would be myself going through the exact opposite scenario with my ex. We were together for close to half a year without things being official, and there was another guy as well. Things happened, she fucked up, I got hurt and left. Knowing what it feels like to be in that situation has made me extremely hesitant to date multiple people at once again, because I'm afraid that I'll commit the same mistake as my ex.

 

[Scarecrow]

How old are you?

If you're in university, join a club. Trust me. (Read my last major post a couple back. Haha.)

If not, try some co-ed sports teams? Friends of friends? Volunteering is also a great one.

25, haven't been able to hang on to a girl for more than, like, 3 weeks.
Graduated college last spring. No luck before then, either
Sports haven't panned out well due to me being a tad on the scrawny side + asthma.
Growing increasingly desperate.

 

[SRG01]

25, haven't been able to hang on to a girl for more than, like, 3 weeks.
Graduated college last spring. No luck before then, either
Sports haven't panned out well due to me being a tad on the scrawny side + asthma.
Growing increasingly desperate.

Doesn't exercise help with asthma as long as you build up your routine over time?

 

[soultron]

Doesn't exercise help with asthma as long as you build up your routine over time?

Talk to a personal trainer about asthma. They often recommend that keeping a lower target heart rate will help.

 

[Scarecrow]

Doesn't exercise help with asthma as long as you build up your routine over time?

I already exercise (I'm an almost buff, scrawny dude), but it hasn't helped with my breathing.

 

[DualShadow]

25, haven't been able to hang on to a girl for more than, like, 3 weeks.
Graduated college last spring. No luck before then, either
Sports haven't panned out well due to me being a tad on the scrawny side + asthma.
Growing increasingly desperate.

Man you can't use that as an excuse for not playing sport :lol

I've got asthma and never stopped me, have a puff before you start and if needed at intervals, I usually just had some before hand just in case.

Edit: Beaten.

I got my "puffers" prescription from the doctor and just get it from the chemist, stuff really helps.

 

[soultron]

Well, I guess the overall question would be: If I happen to be dating both, then how do I choose between the two when things get serious?

Honestly though, the more serious answer would be myself going through the exact opposite scenario with my ex. We were together for close to half a year without things being official, and there was another guy as well. Things happened, she fucked up, I got hurt and left. Knowing what it feels like to be in that situation has made me extremely hesitant to date multiple people at once again, because I'm afraid that I'll commit the same mistake as my ex.

But who's to say that these women aren't doing the same to you right now? You just have to have a tough skin, yourself, and know that it's not your responsibility to protect them from the known hazards of the dating game. It's not exactly a high stakes gamble, but everyone knows they could get hurt going in.

 

[The Shadow]

Well, I've tried an online dating site for about a year now with no luck. For someone who's kind of a teetotaler, where's some good places to meet some ladies in the real world?

I had to look that up. Never heard of it before.

Don't think you have to go to specific places to find a decent women. You can get a phone number anywhere you can strike up a conversation. I met my last ex when I was working IT, and the gf before her I met at a coffee shop.

25, haven't been able to hang on to a girl for more than, like, 3 weeks.
Graduated college last spring. No luck before then, either
Sports haven't panned out well due to me being a tad on the scrawny side + asthma.
Growing increasingly desperate.

What do you mean you haven't been able to "hang on" to a girl? You date a girl for a few weeks and things fissile? What exactly is happening there? Give us an example.

 

[Kccitystar]

Going to give OK Cupid a try, GAF. Any thing I should know beforehand? I'm only doing it as an additional source to find and meet women when I am not hanging out with friends and meeting women through bars, parties, etc.

 

[Scarecrow]

I had to look that up. Never heard of it before.

Don't think you have to go to specific places to find a decent women. You can get a phone number anywhere you can strike up a conversation. I met my last ex when I was working IT, and the gf before her I met at a coffee shop.



What do you mean you haven't been able to "hang on" to a girl? You date a girl for a few weeks and things fissile? What exactly is happening there? Give us an example.

yes, that. I don't really have specifics. They just kind of break it off, not being interested.

 

[jamesinclair]

Going to give OK Cupid a try, GAF. Any thing I should know beforehand? I'm only doing it as an additional source to find and meet women when I am not hanging out with friends and meeting women through bars, parties, etc.

Always assume the girl has a critical flaw.

That is, don't get too excited until you're actually in bed with her naked.

 

[aktham]

I've always focused on myself and no, they don't.

Speak for yourself. I don't run into girls like I used to in college, but I still see plenty of girls in social gatherings and parties and even randomly. I'm at a point where the girls are interested in me because they're actually looking for a good guy to marry them. Friend's wives are trying to hook me up with their single girl friends as well. The problem is I'm super picky (shallow and arrogant :lol)

Edit: I see your point if you're the go to school or work and then straight home type person. While you're still still focusing on yourself, you're not going to run into too many women that way.

 

[SRG01]

But who's to say that these women aren't doing the same to you right now? You just have to have a tough skin, yourself, and know that it's not your responsibility to protect them from the known hazards of the dating game. It's not exactly a high stakes gamble, but everyone knows they could get hurt going in.

That's very true.

 

[TurboLibre]

Speak for yourself. I don't run into girls like I used to in college, but I still see plenty of girls in social gatherings and parties and even randomly. I'm at a point where the girls are interested in me because they're actually looking for a good guy to marry them. Friend's wives are trying to hook me up with their single girl friends as well. The problem is I'm super picky (shallow and arrogant :lol)

Edit: I see your point if you're the go to school or work and then straight home type person. While you're still still focusing on yourself, you're not going to run into too many women that way.

Of course I'm speaking for myself. It just strikes the same chord as "ignore them" where people who already have success with women continue to find success, but think some random change in tactic is the trick. Finding out who you are and what you want is a valuable tip, but it's not going to suddenly bring women into your life.

 

[Relix]

So... This girl I've been going out with is a bit weird. She's shy around me, and usually shields herself with other pals. Thing is... she tries to speak to me at every chance, actually invites me out, we chat a lot, etc... but I feel at the same time she either avoids or ignores me. What the hell am I supposed to do? :lol

 

[hellclerk]

So... This girl I've been going out with is a bit weird. She's shy around me, and usually shields herself with other pals. Thing is... she tries to speak to me at every chance, actually invites me out, we chat a lot, etc... but I feel at the same time she either avoids or ignores me. What the hell am I supposed to do? :lol

Well, you have two options, one, call her out on it in an open, bemused way. This may throw off her guard and may cause her to be honest about it. Two, play along, but give a clear impression that you've caught on (tone, body language, etc.). The latter requires a great deal of subtly however, so if you can't manage that I'd go for the former. Call her out on it, but don't be judgmental about about it, hell, be flirty about it.

 

[Relix]

Well, you have two options, one, call her out on it in an open, bemused way. This may throw off her guard and may cause her to be honest about it. Two, play along, but give a clear impression that you've caught on (tone, body language, etc.). The latter requires a great deal of subtly however, so if you can't manage that I'd go for the former. Call her out on it, but don't be judgmental about about it, hell, be flirty about it.

I'll try option 2. Nothing to lose and I like mind games :lol

 

[Burai]

There's this woman I've been having no-strings sex with for a few months. She's fun, freaky and all that, but she's...too 'roomy' down there.

That must make me sound like a total shithead, but she's the only girl I've ever been with where this is a problem. Just ain't enough friction.

Other than cracking jokes about how I must have a really small dick, anyone have any advice? I thought about FHUTA, and I'm workin' on it. But it'll take some time.

Have you suggested she close her legs? Obviously, you'll have to be the one straddling her which is really awkward and unnatural to start with, but it is doable. She'll appreciate it too because she probably can't feel anything down their either.

FHUTA misses the wood for the trees.

 

[SpectreFire]

Always assume the girl has a critical flaw.

That is, don't get too excited until you're actually in bed with her naked.

This.

Prepare to be disappointed at almost every corner.

Like jamesinclair said, unless you're in bed with her, assume that it's not going to work out at all, because odds are, it won't.

 

[SRG01]

By the way, is bad spelling and/or grammar a total turn off for anyone? I even find shorthand in texts to be incredibly annoying. :lol

 

[Aesius]

By the way, is bad spelling and/or grammar a total turn off for anyone? I even find shorthand in texts to be incredibly annoying. :lol

I've been seeing a chick who has a strong southern accent (I live in the south). It's about to be a deal breaker.

 

[Mike Works]

Like jamesinclair said, unless you're in bed with her, assume that it's not going to work out at all, because odds are, it won't.

Great advice man. You should consider volunteering at the cancer ward in a children's hospital too, think of the tax money we'd wind up saving with you helping along the process!

 

[KJTB]

Ok so I wasn't sure where to post this so I figured that I might as well try here.

So I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend for over 6 months now and tonight we hung out and got drunk together... Well, one thing led to another and we made out. We talked about it and agreed that we would be friend with benefits, no relationship bullshit involved, that we can do whatever the fuck we wanted with no strings attached.

Sounds awesome, right? Well, I'm kind of freaking out right now because I'm really worried that she'll become attached and all that crap. I know that personally I can detached myself emotionally from it all and just have a good time with sex whenever we find the time lol ) but I'm worried that it will become complicated. We swore to each other that it will just be a fun fuck buddy time and all so I shouldn't be worried about feelings and all that crap, right? She told me to text her tomorrow morning confirming that my agreement to this plan wasn't just drunken stupidity on my part which does make me a little bit relieved.

Anyone else ever been in this situation? Should I just roll with it and see if she's capable of doing this or end it now?

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Ok so I wasn't sure where to post this so I figured that I might as well try here.

So I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend for over 6 months now and tonight we hung out and got drunk together... Well, one thing led to another and we made out. We talked about it and agreed that we would be friend with benefits, no relationship bullshit involved, that we can do whatever the fuck we wanted with no strings attached.

Sounds awesome, right? Well, I'm kind of freaking out right now because I'm really worried that she'll become attached and all that crap. I know that personally I can detached myself emotionally from it all and just have a good time with sex whenever we find the time lol ) but I'm worried that it will become complicated. We swore to each other that it will just be a fun fuck buddy time and all so I shouldn't be worried about feelings and all that crap, right? She told me to text her tomorrow morning confirming that my agreement to this plan wasn't just drunken stupidity on my part which does make me a little bit relieved.

Anyone else ever been in this situation? Should I just roll with it and see if she's capable of doing this or end it now?

Eh, it depends how well you know the girl. You know her better than we do. Some girls can do the FWB thing, some have to get emotionally attached. It's the same with guys. It's your call.

 

[Timedog]

So this girl has been asking me to go to the movies, or to make me dinner for a little bit over facebook chat. I keep saying no, because I have been feeling depressed lately, but I've been feeling a wee bit better since christmas, so I tell her I want to hang out.

I text her and I'm like "yo, you said you wanted cook something together to show me your cooking skills, are you free tomorrow"

and she's like "yeah sure, what do you want me to make?"

I say "Whatever is your specialty, we'll make something delicious!"

then she texts back "love?"

and I respond with "haha, that depends on how good a kisser you are."

She says "this is escalating into a place i don't want it to go."


SERIOUSLY? She jokes about making love and I joke about kissing her, and that makes her mad? I don't really care where this goes, cause like I said, I have been depressed, and I'm also moving to a different city in 2 months, BUT, for reference, what might have been a "cool" response to what she said?

 

[The Elite]

Always assume the girl has a critical flaw.

That is, don't get too excited until you're actually in bed with her naked.

This x 1,000,000

 

[_Alkaline_]

Ok so I wasn't sure where to post this so I figured that I might as well try here.

So I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend for over 6 months now and tonight we hung out and got drunk together... Well, one thing led to another and we made out. We talked about it and agreed that we would be friend with benefits, no relationship bullshit involved, that we can do whatever the fuck we wanted with no strings attached.

Sounds awesome, right? Well, I'm kind of freaking out right now because I'm really worried that she'll become attached and all that crap. I know that personally I can detached myself emotionally from it all and just have a good time with sex whenever we find the time lol ) but I'm worried that it will become complicated. We swore to each other that it will just be a fun fuck buddy time and all so I shouldn't be worried about feelings and all that crap, right? She told me to text her tomorrow morning confirming that my agreement to this plan wasn't just drunken stupidity on my part which does make me a little bit relieved.

Anyone else ever been in this situation? Should I just roll with it and see if she's capable of doing this or end it now?

Honestly, logic would suggest that given you clearly don't want to get back together with your ex and you fear she will become attached, you should bail out early.

Of course, logic doesn't include the fact you now have easy access to sex.

Probably depends on how likely you are to get sex somewhere else. If you have alternatives, go with them. If you don't, I guarantee most of GAF would keep the ex as a fuck buddy, regardless of how many will tell you not to.

 

[Darren870]

So this girl has been asking me to go to the movies, or to make me dinner for a little bit over facebook chat. I keep saying no, because I have been feeling depressed lately, but I've been feeling a wee bit better since christmas, so I tell her I want to hang out.

I text her and I'm like "yo, you said you wanted cook something together to show me your cooking skills, are you free tomorrow"

and she's like "yeah sure, what do you want me to make?"

I say "Whatever is your specialty, we'll make something delicious!"

then she texts back "love?"

and I respond with "haha, that depends on how good a kisser you are."

She says "this is escalating into a place i don't want it to go."


SERIOUSLY? She jokes about making love and I joke about kissing her, and that makes her mad? I don't really care where this goes, cause like I said, I have been depressed, and I'm also moving to a different city in 2 months, BUT, for reference, what might have been a "cool" response to what she said?

how do you know she isn't also joking with you?

 

[J Tourettes]

By the way, is bad spelling and/or grammar a total turn off for anyone? I even find shorthand in texts to be incredibly annoying. :lol

Depends on how hot they are to be honest. I used to be a complete Hitler on that front but have mellowed with age.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

I would advise every gaffer to get an older woman. She did things to me that almost had me in tears. Plus they're sex drive is soooooo much higher than girls in their 20s.

I need to go ly dow,

 

[Danielsan]

*Hands in virgin GAF membership card* It's done. More than 22 years it took me but I finally made it happen and not in the pathetic drunk one night stand or beached whale way either. This girl is god damn smoking. Can still hardly believe she is attracted to me. Could hardly keep my eyes of her.

 

[vitaminwateryum]

*Hands in virgin GAF membership card* It's done. More than 22 years it took me but I finally made it happen and not in the pathetic drunk one night stand or beached whale way either. This girl is god damn smoking. Can still hardly believe she is attracted to me. Could hardly keep my eyes of her.

Grats.

 

[jet1911]

*Hands in virgin GAF membership card* It's done. More than 22 years it took me but I finally made it happen and not in the pathetic drunk one night stand or beached whale way either. This girl is god damn smoking. Can still hardly believe she is attracted to me. Could hardly keep my eyes of her.

Grats man!

 

[The Elite]

*Hands in virgin GAF membership card* It's done. More than 22 years it took me but I finally made it happen and not in the pathetic drunk one night stand or beached whale way either. This girl is god damn smoking. Can still hardly believe she is attracted to me. Could hardly keep my eyes of her.

Awesome!

 

[jon bones]

*Hands in virgin GAF membership card* It's done. More than 22 years it took me but I finally made it happen and not in the pathetic drunk one night stand or beached whale way either. This girl is god damn smoking. Can still hardly believe she is attracted to me. Could hardly keep my eyes of her.

she's attracted to you because you're the Greatest of All Time.

 

[kaskade]

So this girl has been asking me to go to the movies, or to make me dinner for a little bit over facebook chat. I keep saying no, because I have been feeling depressed lately, but I've been feeling a wee bit better since christmas, so I tell her I want to hang out.

I text her and I'm like "yo, you said you wanted cook something together to show me your cooking skills, are you free tomorrow"

and she's like "yeah sure, what do you want me to make?"

I say "Whatever is your specialty, we'll make something delicious!"

then she texts back "love?"

and I respond with "haha, that depends on how good a kisser you are."

She says "this is escalating into a place i don't want it to go."


SERIOUSLY? She jokes about making love and I joke about kissing her, and that makes her mad? I don't really care where this goes, cause like I said, I have been depressed, and I'm also moving to a different city in 2 months, BUT, for reference, what might have been a "cool" response to what she said?

She was probably being sarcastic with you. Doesn't translate to well through texts. She probably should have thrown a winky face in there or something.

 

[HappyBivouac]

Winky face makes it playful, not full on sarcastic.

She was probably having a "wait, what the hell did I just do?" moment is my guess. I would play it cool, hang out with her and act like it never happened.