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[soultron]

y2dvd, I'd avoid buying girls drinks. Wait until you've at least talked to them if you absolutely have it. You're going to be wasting a lot of money on a cheese trick that shows no confidence. Think about it: the bartender telling her you're interested is like getting a friend to ask your crush to go to the school dance. Doesn't look too good on you.

Danielsan, why wait? If she's showing signs this early, it's not going to get any better down the line. (It usually gets worse. Haha.) Even if it does, there are too many girls out there that start things right (sounds like this girl hasn't) to be wasting time on this one. I think you're holding on because she's your first and you don't know that there are some truly amazing women out there -- don't let her hold you back.

 

[Danielsan]

y2dvd, I'd avoid buying girls drinks. Wait until you've at least talked to them if you absolutely have it. You're going to be wasting a lot of money on a cheese trick that shows no confidence. Think about it: the bartender telling her you're interested is like getting a friend to ask your crush to go to the school dance. Doesn't look too good on you.

Danielsan, why wait? If she's showing signs this early, it's not going to get any better down the line. (It usually gets worse. Haha.) Even if it does, there are too many girls out there that start things right (sounds like this girl hasn't) to be wasting time on this one. I think you're holding on because she's your first and you don't know that there are some truly amazing women out there -- don't let her hold you back.

Yeah well it may make me sound like an asshole but if I can still get some additional experience out of her that would be quite welcome. I'm just not interested in starting the whole fucking chase all over again right now... I'll see where it goes next week and I'll make my decision then. She's great to be around when she is in good spirits and she is just exceptionally hot, but if next week is filled with more drama then I'm out. I've gotten myself into enough shit of my own as it is. I don't need someone else's shit on top of that right now.

 

[SRG01]

Then what? Bring up a current event? Straight out tell the girl you are interested in her?

Just have a conversation! Women aren't mythical creatures. Just talk; you'll be surprised at how many women respond well to genuine conversation.

My date and I last night had a conversation last night about our online dating experiences. We both agreed that if you talk to the other person as a genuine person, it usually works out. I didn't have much chemistry with her, but we did get along quite well so I think I'll end up with a new friend!

 

[soultron]

. I've gotten myself into enough shit of my own as it is. I don't need someone else's shit on top of that right now.

You've nullified your argument with this line.

Also:

Video tutorial!

No amount of bullshit is worth putting up with, regardless if the girl is crazy hot. You're better than that.

 

[_Alkaline_]

The only time I'll buy drinks for a girl is if they're friends who I'm shouting for, or if I'm already having a good time with a girl that I'm interested in. Personally I never go up to a girl and buy her a drink in order to spark something up.

 

[Dragon]

Just have a conversation! Women aren't mythical creatures. Just talk; you'll be surprised at how many women respond well to genuine conversation.

My date and I last night had a conversation last night about our online dating experiences. We both agreed that if you talk to the other person as a genuine person, it usually works out. I didn't have much chemistry with her, but we did get along quite well so I think I'll end up with a new friend!

Yeah my problem with the online dating thing is, I have a hard time being friends with them afterwards because we explicitly met to date.

 

[sooperkool]

if you are going to buy drinks or a round then you need to be casual and nonchalant about it and not expect anything. Sorry, but thats they way that it works. Send a drink or a round over and a brief message and usually you'll get invited over. There is of course a right way and a wrong way to do it like everything else.

 

[soultron]

if you are going to buy drinks or a round then you need to be casual and nonchalant about it and not expect anything. Sorry, but thats they way that it works. Send a drink or a round over and a brief message and usually you'll get invited over. There is of course a right way and a wrong way to do it like everything else.

This is a much better way of doing things, if you must buy them (and/or their friends too) drink(s).

 

[Danielsan]

You've nullified your argument with this line.

Also:

Video tutorial!

No amount of bullshit is worth putting up with, regardless if the girl is crazy hot. You're better than that.

I'm not arguing with you man and of course the hot/crazy line is totally applicable to this case. You are right and time will most definitely prove that. Still going to do the dumb thing here. :lol

 

[Dragon]

So GAF, I used to talk to this girl on okcupid and I just lost interest and I saw she's going to the same event I am tonight on facebook, hopefully she doesn't recognize me! That would be awkward.

 

[soultron]

I'm not arguing with you man and of course hot/crazy line is totally applicable to this case. You are right and time will most definitely prove that. Still going to do the dumb thing here. :lol

Some times doing what your gut tells you is best, because when it happens again your gut will tell you, "Oh, fuck... remember last time this happened?"

Soldier on, brave danielsan. Just know that it probably won't end well, is not worth riding out, and that there are girls out there with a good head on their shoulders.

I do commend you for shaking a lot of your previous insecurities and such though. You've shown a lot of growth and courage through all of it.

 

[sooperkool]

So GAF, I used to talk to this girl on okcupid and I just lost interest and I saw she's going to the same event I am tonight on facebook, hopefully she doesn't recognize me! That would be awkward.

Wrong.

Take this by the balls. If you see her say "hello", ask her hows shes doing and then excuse yourself and push on. She will wonder how she let a fine and quality gentleman such as yourself go and you'll not have stuff hanging over your head at the party. Don't let this woman ruin your mood, be a/the man and handle it confidently.

 

[Danielsan]

Some times doing what your gut tells you is best, because when it happens again your gut will tell you, "Oh, fuck... remember last time this happened?"

Soldier on, brave danielsan. Just know that it probably won't end well, is not worth riding out, and that there are girls out there with a good head on their shoulders.

I do commend you for shaking a lot of your previous insecurities and such though. You've shown a lot of growth and courage through all of it.

I'm fully aware so I won't get my hopes up too much. I've grown a lot the past year, but I still have a ways to go. Insecurities still pop up every now and then and I end up falling back in old patterns when they do.

In other news, I had to laugh pretty hard when I got pinched in my ass numerous times and had a couple of women practically forcing me to dance with them last night. None of them remotely as good looking as my girl, but still made me chuckle. :lol

 

[soultron]

I'm fully aware so I won't get my hopes up too much. I've grown a lot the past year, but I still have a ways to go. Insecurities still pop up every now and then and I end up falling back in old patterns when they do.

Don't get down on yourself too much. I still have insecurities and I'm still learning too. It's called being human. Just try to stay mindful of improving, while keeping a positive mindset, and you're set!

In other news, I had to laugh pretty hard when I got pinched in my ass numerous times and had a couple of women practically forcing me to dance with them last night. None of them remotely as good looking as my girl, but still made me chuckle. :lol

Where was this? That sounds awesome. Nothing like a good+free ego boost.

 

[Aesius]

Internet girl ended up texting me at work last night. Surprised the hell out of me. We texted from about 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Been talking to her again today. I'm going to ask her if she wants to hang out tomorrow. I would call her but she specifically wrote in her profile that she doesn't like talking on the phone.

She's really fucking cute, and yeah - I've got my hopes up for this one. Wish me luck.

Alright GAF, help me analyze this shit.

We texted all day yesterday. Which sounds promising, but she takes anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour to respond to a single text. They're all substantial and obviously attempts to keep the conversation going, Naturally, I have to wait a similar amount of time to text back.

Now, from the get go we've had an extremely sarcastic back and forth banter - all the way back to the first message I sent her online. So now I'm wondering how the hell I can transition from that to actually asking her out. I would call her, but she states in her profile that she dislikes talking on the phone.

What should I do?

 

[The Elite]

Alright GAF, help me analyze this shit.

We texted all day yesterday. Which sounds promising, but she takes anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour to respond to a single text. They're all substantial and obviously attempts to keep the conversation going, Naturally, I have to wait a similar amount of time to text back.

Now, from the get go we've had an extremely sarcastic back and forth banter - all the way back to the first message I sent her online. So now I'm wondering how the hell I can transition from that to actually asking her out. I would call her, but she states in her profile that she dislikes talking on the phone.
What should I do?

Because she's a man!!!!

She doesn't want you to hear her man voice.

Seriously though, just call her and tell her you want to go on a date. Don't say "hang out" as that can mean a great many things.

 

[John Rabbit]

Alright GAF, help me analyze this shit.

We texted all day yesterday. Which sounds promising, but she takes anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour to respond to a single text. They're all substantial and obviously attempts to keep the conversation going, Naturally, I have to wait a similar amount of time to text back.

Now, from the get go we've had an extremely sarcastic back and forth banter - all the way back to the first message I sent her online. So now I'm wondering how the hell I can transition from that to actually asking her out. I would call her, but she states in her profile that she dislikes talking on the phone.

What should I do?

theoretical text time:

you: "so why don't you like talking on the phone?"
her: [whatever shit she says]
you: "then how am i supposed to ask you out?"
her: [either says "you can text me" or "haha, really"? or "well in that case, you call" or some derivation of any of this]

profit.

 

[The Elite]

theoretical text time:

you: "so why don't you like talking on the phone?"
her: [whatever shit she says]
you: "then how am i supposed to ask you out?"
her: [either says "you can text me" or "haha, really"? or "well in that case, you call" or some derivation of any of this]

profit.

Smooth.

I'll go out with you.

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

theoretical text time:

you: "so why don't you like talking on the phone?"
her: [whatever shit she says]
you: "then how am i supposed to ask you out?"
her: [either says "you can text me" or "haha, really"? or "well in that case, you call" or some derivation of any of this]

profit.

Fucking this.

 

[woodchuck]

theoretical text time:

you: "so why don't you like talking on the phone?"
her: [whatever shit she says]
you: "then how am i supposed to ask you out?"
her: [either says "you can text me" or "haha, really"? or "well in that case, you call" or some derivation of any of this]

profit.

:bow

 

[aktham]

Alright GAF, help me analyze this shit.

We texted all day yesterday. Which sounds promising, but she takes anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour to respond to a single text. They're all substantial and obviously attempts to keep the conversation going, Naturally, I have to wait a similar amount of time to text back.

Now, from the get go we've had an extremely sarcastic back and forth banter - all the way back to the first message I sent her online. So now I'm wondering how the hell I can transition from that to actually asking her out. I would call her, but she states in her profile that she dislikes talking on the phone.

What should I do?

Woman that doesn't like talking on the phone = awkward and is a red flag for me. She could have a social disease (or not/just be careful)

Chances are she's dislikes talking at all. Sounds like you'll be the one talking 99% of the time if you ever land a date with her.

Edit: either way keep us posted

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

Woman that doesn't like talking on the phone = awkward and is a red flag for me. She could have a social disease (or not/just be careful)

Chances are she's dislikes talking at all. Sounds like you'll be the one talking 99% of the time if you ever land a date with her.

Disagreed. I'm perfectly social in person and I hate talking on the phone.

 

[The Elite]

Disagreed. I'm perfectly social in person and I hate talking on the phone.

I hate talking on the phone but I'll gladly take a phone call to be asked out by a pretty girl.

 

[aktham]

Disagreed. I'm perfectly social in person and I hate talking on the phone.

You're a girl on dating website?

 

[The Elite]

You're a girl on dating website?

I don't think that matters. I know a lot of people who don't like talking on the phone.

 

[Relix]

I don't really like talking on the phone and trust me, I am very social :lol

I prefer texts or chat. Talking bores me after a few minutes no matter who it us, unless its a smart girl. Then I can talk for 2+ hours.

 

[John Rabbit]

You're a girl on dating website?

website. not a dating hot line.

its fine for someone to dislike talking on the phone. personally i hate it. i'd much rather have face-to-face or text conversations.

 

[aktham]

Sounds like some of you guys want to be penpals rather than find a girlfriend :lol

A lot of communication is lost with text. This is why you get a girl's number, to call her, not text her. You get a lot more communication/connection with with a phone conversation.

Face to face>phone conversation>text

 

[John Rabbit]

Sounds like some of you guys want to be penpals rather than find a girlfriend :lol

A lot of communication is lost with text. This is why you get a girl's number, to call her, not text her. You get a lot more communication/connection with with a phone conversation.

Face to face>phone conversation>text

the only person i have conversations of any length/consequence over the phone with is my girlfriend or occasionally my mother. and then that's maybe once a week.

 

[vitaminwateryum]

Saw this post on Lifehacker and thought it'd be an interesting / helpful read to some people in this thread.

How To Deal With Shyness

 

[Aesius]

theoretical text time:

you: "so why don't you like talking on the phone?"
her: [whatever shit she says]
you: "then how am i supposed to ask you out?"
her: [either says "you can text me" or "haha, really"? or "well in that case, you call" or some derivation of any of this]

profit.

I really like this, and I'd like to send it right now. Only problem is, she's at work until late tonight. Do you guys think that might be a problem? I know that this text will make or break it, so I'm trying to tread carefully here. If it fails she'll probably just never respond :lol

 

[Sallokin]

Alright gaffers. Met a girl on Wednesday through a meetup.com event and subsequently hung out with her last night (Thursday) and we exchanged numbers. We had a really great vibe and I get the impression that she was definitely in to me. Since I'm terrible at this stuff, when do I call? This thread has some suggestions, but do I wait a day? Do I shoot her a quick text sometime this evening? Not entirely sure how to proceed.

 

[aktham]

Alright gaffers. Met a girl on Wednesday through a meetup.com event and subsequently hung out with her last night (Thursday) and we exchanged numbers. We had a really great vibe and I get the impression that she was definitely in to me. Since I'm terrible at this stuff, when do I call? This thread has some suggestions, but do I wait a day? Do I shoot her a quick text sometime this evening? Not entirely sure how to proceed.

You're already in man. You hung out with her already. You were with her on that date, so you can call her whenever you want. Make sure she's off work when you call.

OR

You can shoot her a text saying "I really had a great time with you, give me a call when you get off work". That way you don't start a wave a text messages of things you could be discussing over the phone or on your next date.

 

[chicko1983]

well I think I may have done something pretty stupid last night.

I caught up with a girl who broke up with one of my mates a couple of months ago (I have known this guy for about 20 years).

I was with another mate of mine and she came with a friend so that was ok. Her friend leaves and me, her and my mate stay for a few more drinks. She invites me and my mate back to her place for some more drinks.
We have a bottle of wine and then my mate leaves.
Its only me and her and we are sitting on her balcony. I am doing some kino stuff I picked up in the original girl-age thread i.e. legs touching and compared hand sizes after I checked out her nails etc. I have my hand on leg and start rubbing it. She doesn't pull it off or move her leg but says "geez thats a flirtatious" and we are looking at each other so I go to kiss her.
I reckon we had kissed for about a nano second before she turned her head and said she couldnt make out with one of her ex-boyfriend's mates. I said "he wont know" and her reply was "he will know".
She then made me sleep on the couch and went to bed.

So apart from being pretty frustrated, I am now a bit nervous that she is going to tell my mate (her ex-boyfriend). I know he has been with plenty of other girls since her but she obviously hasnt moved on and I am not sure if my mate will like it either.

 

[Eggo]

I really like this, and I'd like to send it right now. Only problem is, she's at work until late tonight. Do you guys think that might be a problem? I know that this text will make or break it, so I'm trying to tread carefully here. If it fails she'll probably just never respond :lol

You need to be not so outcome dependent. If it fails, it shouldn't bother you because there is a line of girls who want the opportunity she just lost.

 

[Sallokin]

You're already in man. You hung out with her already. You were with her on that date, so you can call her whenever you want. Make sure she's off work when you call.

OR

You can shoot her a text saying "I really had a great time with you, give me a call when you get off work". That way you don't start a wave a text messages of things you could be discussing over the phone or on your next date.

Much appreciated. I know she's working until 11 tonight, so I may just send a quick text and see if she's down to hang out tomorrow.

 

[aktham]

Much appreciated. I know she's working until 11 tonight, so I may just send a quick text and see if she's down to hang out tomorrow.

DON'T ask her on a date over a text message. That text I gave is a compliment/interest check. If she's interested she'll call you. Ask her over the phone if/when she calls you . Just sit and wait...

 

[Sallokin]

DON'T ask her on a date over a text message. That text I gave is a compliment/interest check. If she's interested she'll call you. Ask her over the phone if/when she calls you . Just sit and wait...

Gotcha! I'll definitely take that advice.

 

[Solideliquid]

DON'T ask her on a date over a text message. That text I gave is a compliment/interest check. If she's interested she'll call you. Ask her over the phone if/when she calls you . Just sit and wait...

Why can't he call her up?

 

[grap3fruitman]

"hi"

Worst piece of advice ever.

 

[The Shadow]

Woman that doesn't like talking on the phone = awkward and is a red flag for me. She could have a social disease (or not/just be careful)

Chances are she's dislikes talking at all. Sounds like you'll be the one talking 99% of the time if you ever land a date with her.

Edit: either way keep us posted

You're inferring a lot based on just a little bit of information. I don't like talking on the phone either because I am social. I'd rather talk to someone in person.

 

[grap3fruitman]

You're inferring a lot based on just a little bit of information. I don't like talking on the phone either because I am social. I'd rather talk to someone in person.

And I don't like either so there you go.

 

[aktham]

Why can't he call her up?

He can. Read previous posts.

You're inferring a lot based on just a little bit of information. I don't like talking on the phone either because I am social. I'd rather talk to someone in person.

Once again this is not about you. I'm talking about a random girl on a dating website. I'm just telling the guy to be careful. Girls generally like to talk/nag in person and on the phone. The fact that's she's online and doesn't like talking on the phone, should raise some flags (IMO). It's not a deal breaker by any means, just find out what's up.

With dating and especially online dating, you'll have to make assumptions based on little information (which could be false in the first place). The point is to find out more about the person you're interested in on your own by dating them.

 

[Aesius]

theoretical text time:

you: "so why don't you like talking on the phone?"
her: [whatever shit she says]
you: "then how am i supposed to ask you out?"
her: [either says "you can text me" or "haha, really"? or "well in that case, you call" or some derivation of any of this]

profit.

Annnnnnnd it's done. We'll see what happens.

 

[liquidatedbrains]

Man, I keep getting friendzoned. Kind of sick of it, honestly. It usually starts like this. This is all texting:

Me: Hey, what's up?
Her: What's up?
Me: Wanna hang out this Saturday?
Her: Sure.
Me: When and where do you want to meet?
Her: Lemme check when I'm out.
Her: We are hanging out as friends, right!

FML

The fuck is this? You ask her to go out but dont know what to do or when to do it? Take her out.

 

[Aesius]

Annnnnnnd it's done. We'll see what happens.

:lol Two hours later and no response. Looks like this one is done, boys.

 

[sooperkool]

The fuck is this? You ask her to go out but dont know what to do or when to do it? Take her out.

Its another lets hang out fail.

 

[Mike Works]

:lol Two hours later and no response. Looks like this one is done, boys.

Cool, I guess you can stop having panic attacks over her now.

 

[RobertM]

Worst piece of advice ever.

I'll give you a good advice. Do something about your hair.

 

[ggnoobIGN]

I fucking hate talking on the phone. Why would any male enjoy this?