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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
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grap3fruitman
Banned
I believe he's joking.Door2Dawn said:
grap3fruitman
Banned
Yeah.Door2Dawn said:
FleckSplat
Member
Trying to meet girls in my town. I'm going to college and will be attending fitness classes. I tried this last semester and there were two issues:
1) No confidence to ask them out. I asked one girl out and she blew me off.
2) Girls who work out seem to be out of my "league." They are beautiful. I'm no slouch, either, but I'm not a supermodel.
The instructors seem interested, but I'm not sure if they are just doing that to be nice. I figure asking them out for coffee/drinks isn't too heavy. Thoughts?
1) No confidence to ask them out. I asked one girl out and she blew me off.
2) Girls who work out seem to be out of my "league." They are beautiful. I'm no slouch, either, but I'm not a supermodel.
The instructors seem interested, but I'm not sure if they are just doing that to be nice. I figure asking them out for coffee/drinks isn't too heavy. Thoughts?
DualShadow
Member
The Shadow said:
:lol
Yes, he "broke up" in a sense.
She was only a girl he was going out but had great hopes with.
That's about it :lol
He's taking the hit after like 3-4 days well. 2011 was off to a shitty start for him. Never expected the story to have such impact though, maybe I should send him some GAF Good wishes :lol
Mysterious Girl that is shy at the same time (that shall be her name from now on) invited me to go out tomorrow get some drinks with pals. I said yes. She was a little more forward today, sending me dirty joke messages and telling me about her "wants".
I asked her what her want was, she told me to guess, I went and said "Sex", she followed up with "It's in between and part of it but not the final desire.". This girl is fun to talk with :lol
She was only a girl he was going out but had great hopes with.
That's about it :lol
He's taking the hit after like 3-4 days well. 2011 was off to a shitty start for him. Never expected the story to have such impact though, maybe I should send him some GAF Good wishes :lol
Mysterious Girl that is shy at the same time (that shall be her name from now on) invited me to go out tomorrow get some drinks with pals. I said yes. She was a little more forward today, sending me dirty joke messages and telling me about her "wants".
I asked her what her want was, she told me to guess, I went and said "Sex", she followed up with "It's in between and part of it but not the final desire.". This girl is fun to talk with :lol
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
FleckSplat said:
Well first of all going in with no confidence is basically failure before you even try and I don't care what you look like. Second of all if your truly believe that every single one of these girls who work out consider themselves out of your league then there are other places in college than fitness to meet girls who are more down to earth.
You fucking tease. What about the other couple, were they friends of him? Doesn't the guy hate them now? Wasn't it a pre-planned thing to go to the hotel, or was it just someone he picked up and then they said 'hey let's go to a hotel' and the dude unwittingly tagged along? DETAILS MANRelix said:
hydragonwarrior
Member
element said:
Don't give up, just spam all the pretty ones. Don't even read most of their profile - skim it and spontaneously pick up on whatever stands out to you or just looks funny to comment on in their pic. Even if it's the smallest thing like "oh sushi is badass" and it's taken from like a 500 page essay of her life where she only mentions sushi once. Max it out on 4 min per profile then move on.
Best to try this out on an area you won't ever visit and see the results!
Rahxephon91
Banned
I've been trying okcupid recently and I myself haven't gotten any bites and I haven't "bitten" anyone. Most of the girls seem kind of dumb, uptight, or just plain old unattractive.
Whatever, this online dating thing should just be a side thing.
Whatever, this online dating thing should just be a side thing.
FleckSplat
Member
MiDNiGHTS said:
Well, I wouldn't say they are all out of my league, but a lot of them are. I'll just be more selective when choosing who to pursue.
ok so ive been talkin to this girl over skype for a while now.. (2 weeks?)... she lives in chicago.. and im here in new york... we're both of the same culture and religion so we have a lot to talk about...anyways, she's fucking amazing, and we basically jus chatted all night about random shit.... and had some good laughs...she had an ex who abused her in the past.. and i know i shouldn't have talked about it.. but i told her to fuckin forget him.. etc. when she brought it up...... but im not sure... she's jokingly called me gay at one point.. jus cuz im so expressive when i talk in a weird way i guess...but i told her im straight and she was like.. "im jus kidding"......she has this amazing sense of humor, and is pretty crude at times which i love..heh........ but like yeh.. i dunno how i should move forward with her.. she wants me to come skydiving with her in the summer if she goes...n im down (even tho im scared shitless of heights)...
My girlfriend was packing away some of my stuff and found some very sickly note from my ex that I didn't even know I had.
She's taken it really quite badly (the fact I kept it, and the fact I finished with this girl even though she apparently feels the same about me as my current gf) and wants to go back with her parents to stay for a few days, meh. Anything I can do or just let her do her thing and sulk it out?
She's taken it really quite badly (the fact I kept it, and the fact I finished with this girl even though she apparently feels the same about me as my current gf) and wants to go back with her parents to stay for a few days, meh. Anything I can do or just let her do her thing and sulk it out?
SuperAndroid17
Member
Shawsie64 said:
I was in the same position , almost EXACT.
Fuck no , I deleted her sorry ass from my FB. She screwed me over , fucking friend-zone me because she missed her ex. She played me for a fool because I ignored the red flags.
Thats just me.
JimiNutz
Banned
blizeH said:
Burn the note, give her a couple days to get over it, then maybe tell her that the reason you finished with that girl was because you knew how she felt but didn't feel the same way about her.
Then tell her that you're still with her because this time the feelings are mutual (if that's the case?)
Then makeup sex.
oddworld18 said:*rapid topic change from left field, as ridiculous as that threesome story was*
so, long-term-relationship-GAF/married-GAF:
been dating a girl for two years. it's really great, first serious relationship out of college - for her, too. going strong, definitely. But we're in our mid-20s now, and a lot of our friends are starting to settle down, move in together, etc. it's definitely on our minds, the "what's our future" question. and we're pretty good at talking about things, and so far have seen eye to eye on pretty much everything.
some days i can see it going places. most days, even. but how did you guys get rid of that "but what about all those other girls out there" impulse?
i still carry some baggage about one of my best friends in college, but she and i have both sort of evolved past it and now we really do have just a strong caring friendship. some days though i still wish we had a second chance. does stuff like that ever go away? or do you just sort of learn to deal with it?
i know this isn't par for the course in the dating age threads, but i'm still a junior so i can't start my own quarterlife-crisis-relationship-age post
If you think you're serious with this girl, move in with her, then all the problems and issues will bubble to the surface and you can decide if she's really "the one" for you. I was married to a girl that I didn't live with beforehand and it was fucked up how much living with someone can change your perspective on things. We ended up divorced.
Even today, at 31 years of age, I still have the feeling of "what about all those other girls out there" despite the fact that I've been with plenty of woman from all sorts of backgrounds. I guess I chalk it up to the fact that I still haven't found the right woman for me. Or perhaps it's because I'm a skirt-chasing asshole. Probably the latter.
Top advice, thanks NutJobJim - went to see her for a couple of hours at lunch and she seems a *lot* happier about things now which is good. Annoying because even though I didn't really do anything *that* wrong (I didn't even know it was there!) I could see why it would've upset her. Sorted now though, phew!
WyndhamPrice
Member
My girlfriend finally came back from California after 3 weeks away. I'm very happy she's back!
The shitty part is we were finally all ready to do the fleshy tango but once again I am cockblocked for another few days due to that goddamned time of the month. :lol
I should've seen it coming considering this is what happened the week before she left.
What's another few days, right?
Cockblocking aside, this would indicate she's slowly but surely getting over past hangups about intimacy. I've very excited about the direction this is heading.
The shitty part is we were finally all ready to do the fleshy tango but once again I am cockblocked for another few days due to that goddamned time of the month. :lol
I should've seen it coming considering this is what happened the week before she left.
What's another few days, right?
Cockblocking aside, this would indicate she's slowly but surely getting over past hangups about intimacy. I've very excited about the direction this is heading.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
blizeH said:
All you can do is tell her it was an old note, you forgot it even existed. If she doesn't realize this then you will have similiar problems down the line. Exes will always be around and pop up at the worst times.
milanbaros
Member?
WyndhamPrice said:
Really? I've never been with a girl where that has blocked anything. Just be ready to jump into the shower when you're done.
Nexus Zero
Member
I asked for opinions on my OKC profile on Reddit and they said I sound goofy. Which is odd because I'm pretty laconic and dark with my humor but whatever. I see what they mean. I just don't know how to sound serious about anything without sounding like a boring asshole - and the only thing I take seriously is my militant atheism. What say you GAF?
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
Went to a party, chatted up a girl that showed mild interest, got her to number with an excuse to send her pictures of the party...sent her said pics, but she was working (she works weird shifts) so we didn't really get a chance to talk too much.
She doesn't have facebook, and we live about 2 hours apart, so my options are limited.
Figured I'd text her and ask her about college, cause I'm just starting and she did two years in the same course before having to drop out...so is that a decent enough excuse to text her?
She doesn't have facebook, and we live about 2 hours apart, so my options are limited.
Figured I'd text her and ask her about college, cause I'm just starting and she did two years in the same course before having to drop out...so is that a decent enough excuse to text her?
forknknife
Banned
-ImaginaryInsider said:
I would call with the excuse that you want to speak with her
WyndhamPrice
Member
milanbaros said:
That's less than ideal for the first go around for us. I wouldn't necessarily have too much of an issue but she definitely would.
xxjuicesxx
Member
entrement said:
Grow some balls, it will impress her say something like "Don't emasculate me with that friend shit, I am no beta male I find you attractive, please don't waste my time. If you want give me a call sometime and we can synchronize agendas otherwise don't treat me like I am five"
:lol :lol :lol
Get this....the girl I was supposed to see tonight just texted me, saying she's having car troubles and may not be able to meet me tonight. I just knew she was going to come up with some kind of lame ass excuse to keep this shit dragging on. Let's backtrack a bit shall we?
We were supposed to go out on the 17th, but at the last minute, she remembered she had to go Christmas shopping. Yeah....okay.....So, on Christmas Eve, we made plans to see each other on the 31st. Sure, it was New Year's Eve, but we could easily do something during the day, ensuring that any plans during the evening could go without a hitch. Well, the 30th comes a long and she realizes that she accidentally made plans with me, forgetting that it was the New Years Eve. Now how dumb do you have to be to do that? After that, I figured, I'd give her ONE more chance. Three strikes and the bitch is out. And now, she sends me this bullshit. I'm not even mad. In fact, I'm laughing about it. This is great. Thank goodness I have a ton of other prospects. I knew this girl was going to flake out. I just had a gut feeling "Oh man, what's this broad going to do now?"
Anyway, what should I respond with? I was just going to ignore her and leave her ass out to dry. Part of me wants to tell her to fuck off with her incompentent flaky ass self. Part of me wants to suggest picking her up. I don't know what to do. After the second "strike" I told her I was getting annoyed. She seemed upset that I was considering now seeing her. She's a nice girl, but man....I don't have time for this crap.
Show me the way GAF :lol
Get this....the girl I was supposed to see tonight just texted me, saying she's having car troubles and may not be able to meet me tonight. I just knew she was going to come up with some kind of lame ass excuse to keep this shit dragging on. Let's backtrack a bit shall we?
We were supposed to go out on the 17th, but at the last minute, she remembered she had to go Christmas shopping. Yeah....okay.....So, on Christmas Eve, we made plans to see each other on the 31st. Sure, it was New Year's Eve, but we could easily do something during the day, ensuring that any plans during the evening could go without a hitch. Well, the 30th comes a long and she realizes that she accidentally made plans with me, forgetting that it was the New Years Eve. Now how dumb do you have to be to do that? After that, I figured, I'd give her ONE more chance. Three strikes and the bitch is out. And now, she sends me this bullshit. I'm not even mad. In fact, I'm laughing about it. This is great. Thank goodness I have a ton of other prospects. I knew this girl was going to flake out. I just had a gut feeling "Oh man, what's this broad going to do now?"
Anyway, what should I respond with? I was just going to ignore her and leave her ass out to dry. Part of me wants to tell her to fuck off with her incompentent flaky ass self. Part of me wants to suggest picking her up. I don't know what to do. After the second "strike" I told her I was getting annoyed. She seemed upset that I was considering now seeing her. She's a nice girl, but man....I don't have time for this crap.
Show me the way GAF :lol
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
-PXG- said:
Just tell her you're no longer interested.
Teh End
No need for extra drama from a girl who doesn't want to go out with you and which you don't want to go out with anymore anyway. You're not in highschool.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
-PXG- said:
Honestly you should just cut her off. What is probably happening is that she makes plans with you and then someone else calls, so she cancels on you to do something with someone else, anyone else. Maybe she has a bf and trying to cheat but can't get away.
Even if you two actually hooked up, would you want to spend time with her after all that? I know I wouldn't. Walk away. No need for a call or text telling her why. Just disappear out of her life and spend your time on someone who actually wants to see you.
entrement said:
Not your fault. She just may not be into you. On to the next one...
My advice for future girls:
I wouldn't text these things. Ask in person while looking her in the eyes or over a phone conversation if you don't ask her in person.
If you ask her over the phone, ask how her day was at first. Don't jump in and ask directly let her nag and talk to you. This will make her a bit more comfortable with you. Once the conversation slows down a bit, that's your chance to ask her out properly.
I would say I want to take you out (to dinner/activity) this Saturday instead of let's hang out. Don't be uncertain and have a date plan. You don't have to call it a date either (but it really is). First impression is everything, so make sure you have a nice surprise for her on the first date.
xxjuicesxx
Member
SephCast said:
Its actually personal repertoire.
-State your intentions clearly
-Treat her as an equal and respect the same
-She won't respect you if you don't respect yourself
-Act alpha, even if you aren't, insecurities are easily digested after the initial stage of impressing each other is finished. See stages of relationships.
-Don't waste your time (your view of time may differ, but honestly if you haven't fucked in a month end it) don't waste their time (if they are looking for something more do not lead them on), and expect , tell, them to do the same.
-Yell at them if they do something wrong. Don't let them act five.
Mike Works
Member
PXG, I fucking hate flakes as much as the next man (I'm not exaggerating, it's one of my biggest pet peeves in the world- dating or other), but I think you need to just settle down on the whole dating thing. I'm definitely not saying stop or anything, but you keep talking about your prospects and all the girls you have lined up and everything over and over, and then when something negative happens with one of them, you just throw out an "on to the next one" post and either let us know that it doesn't bother you or badmouth the girl. I know you just came off of a shitty relationship break, but you don't have to worry about being theatrical- in this thread or in real life. I know you admitted that you were still affected by the termination of your last relationship- as any reasonable man would be- and that's okay. Just don't think that you have to compensate or prove anything for us or for yourself.
As for specific advice, I'd suggest just not replying to the girl. This is a problem I see happen way too often when it comes to people dating or coming off/ending relationships: instead of just walking away, they boast that they'll say one more big tell-off, and then a day later they post a transcript of the conversation and repeat that they'll say one more thing and then walk away, and it just drags out a shitty situation.
Even if you were able to say something to salvage things with this girl, would you want to? Do you really want to date a flake? I know I fucking wouldn't. Can't stand those people.
I suppose maybe you could try to fuck her before ditching her if she's hot. If that's the road you want to explore, then I guess acting like an asshole could be the way to go.
As for specific advice, I'd suggest just not replying to the girl. This is a problem I see happen way too often when it comes to people dating or coming off/ending relationships: instead of just walking away, they boast that they'll say one more big tell-off, and then a day later they post a transcript of the conversation and repeat that they'll say one more thing and then walk away, and it just drags out a shitty situation.
Even if you were able to say something to salvage things with this girl, would you want to? Do you really want to date a flake? I know I fucking wouldn't. Can't stand those people.
I suppose maybe you could try to fuck her before ditching her if she's hot. If that's the road you want to explore, then I guess acting like an asshole could be the way to go.
lunarworks
Member
I'm 32. I have a feeling that that feeling never goes away. Of course, now I'm in a long-term relationship, and too old to do anything about it. (When you're in your 30s, options vanish with the wind.)Cryptozoologist said:
lunarworks
Member
I'll probably make my long-forthcoming first post here soon. I'm stressed, depressed, and frustrated, and it's really affecting my life. :/
Of course, I'll probably get advice I don't want (this is NeoGAF, dude), and she'll probably read it, too. (She has a funny way of stumbling across things I write about us online.)
Of course, I'll probably get advice I don't want (this is NeoGAF, dude), and she'll probably read it, too. (She has a funny way of stumbling across things I write about us online.)
Mike Works said:
I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone, especially you guys. I simply state what's on my mind and what's going on.
I have a really hard time getting along with people in my generation. People my age are just too fickle, spontaneous, flaky and don't know what the fuck they want. It's the story of my life. People always cancelling plans, being wishy washy and never being forth coming with anything. Now I don't expect the universe to revolve around me. I understand if things come up and if you're busy. But let's be real here: You're not running a Fortune 500 company. You're not a CEO or a high level executive. You have 12 to 14 hours of classes a wekk and work some crappy part-time job. Your life isn't that busy. I can't stand it when people get flustered over things that everyone else in the world deals with too. In most cases, people are just undisciplined, lazy and have piss poor time management skills. People aren't perfect, but I don't get the sense others are putting that much effort in being half way decent either.
I'm not that important and nothing special. However, what irks me is the general lack respect and common courtesy nowadays. We have all of this technology and a plethora of ways to communicate, and yet, it seems like no one knows what's going on. You'd think that my friends are trying to solve the energy crisis or write the Healthcare Reform Bill, whenever we try to hang out and go somewhere. It's utterly ridiculous. I'm always the one taking charge, taking initiative and having to figure shit out for a bunch of incompetent, dumb fucks who need me to hold their hand in order to plan a basic, shitty ass get-together. It doesn't require hours of exchanging emails, phone calls and text messages to go the movies, go out to eat or chill and play video games. Come the fuck on people. It's absurd. This isn't in regards to recent events or the dates I've been on. This is just my life in general.
I don't have high expectations for others. I just expect and hope that people do the right thing once in a while. I always think in these terms: How would I want someone to treat me? What would I want others to do for me? I'm not asking for much. I'm just asking others to send me one, somewhat coherent message consisting of who, what, when, where, why and how. It really isn't that difficult. I'm not a genius or some prodigy. I'm lazy and undisciplined in a lot of ways, but being prompt and punctual isn't one of my shortcomings. I take most matters very seriously, especially if it involves other people and their time. I hate it when people string me along and waste mine. I assume that other people are busy and have important things to do, as to why I like to plan things and have some semblance of respect for their schedule. But no one ever seems to give a damn about me and my needs. And honestly, I'm getting quite sick of it.
At this point, the situation with this girl is laughable. I'm beyond being sour or angry. I think it's quite funny that she is really that inept at planning things. She keeps on telling me how sorry she feels and that she really wants to spend time with me. If that were truly the case, you'd think she'd figure things out and actually hang out with me. I can handle rejection just fine. Just tell me "Hey, I don't want to see you, I'm not interested. Boom. End of story. No hard feelings at all. I am somewhat upset about the girl I saw on Sunday though. We hit it off really well and had an amazing time. Things got quite physical (nothing sexual) and we kissed a lot. She said she really liked me and would love to see my again. But I've barely heard from her since. She said she's really busy this week. Yeah, that's fine, but I don't believe her. Again, if you're seeing someone else, just let me know. If you found someone better than me, that's fantastic, but don't leave me sitting here thinking about what I could have possibly done wrong. Basically, Don't leave me hanging, with my dick in my hands, especially since things went so well our date. I'd be really pissed if she got back to me and gave me the tired "I didn't feel a connection" horse shit. If holding hands, cuddling, making out and telling me you like me isn't chemistry, then what is? Seriously? What am I doing wrong? What do I lack? It's so frustrating, being told you're cute, handsome, good looking, confident, smart, funny, witty, creative, sweet, charming, calm, patient, caring, honest, ect all the fucking time, yet nothing ever solidifies. "It's not you, it's me" is such a cop out and, to me, is offensive and questions my intelligence. Don't bullshit me. Don't lie to me. Requesting an straight forward explanation is hardly having an over bearing sense of entitlement. And if for some reason, it is, I guess I'm too nice of person, because I'm always honest with everyone I deal with.
Naturally, I lamented my ex breaking up with me. Yeah, I'm still lonely and would love to have someone fill that void, but that someone isn't her. Recent events have illustrated that I'm quite fortunate not to be with her. She's made some odd decisions as of late and quite frankly, I'm glad to be rid of her. It's fun going out on all of these dates and hanging out with new girls. But I'm not made for the casual dating/ one night stand lifestyle. I prefer having a girlfriend and someone to love. I know it takes time for something like that to flourish. I'm willing to go through time to acquire such a relationship once again. But I just want to avoid the bullshit as much as possible. I think I work really hard at being a good person, but I don't get that impression from others. It's funny that people take a lot from me, but whenever I ask for an explanation or some reciprocity, people accuse me of being selfish. What the fuck is up with that?
I want to love and befriend people, but at times, they make it really hard. It's almost as if they purposely do shit, so that my bad qualities come out. It's as if my patience is being tested and they want to see just how much of their crap I can tolerate.
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