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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
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sooperkool said:
And boy was that txt conversation a horrible example of one. smh
For the love of god, if you guys are going to ask a girl out, do a little bit of prep work ahead of time and have a few locations and times ready. Take the lead and don't just dump it onto her to figure out.
The Shadow
Member
Magik said:
Yup. For women, this is a pretty good indicator of an insecure guy.
grap3fruitman
Banned
What's wrong with my hair? =(RobertM said:
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Okay guys I need some advice on something. How do I ask out a girl from my office building if we're both running late getting to work in the morning.
I would try talking to her while we are in the elevator but its usually filled with other people and that would just make things awkward.
We usually park right next to each other in the parking structure so I'm thinking I just need to get there early and wait for her to park and strike up a conversation as we're walking.
Is there any other approach you guys can recommend?
I would try talking to her while we are in the elevator but its usually filled with other people and that would just make things awkward.
We usually park right next to each other in the parking structure so I'm thinking I just need to get there early and wait for her to park and strike up a conversation as we're walking.
Is there any other approach you guys can recommend?
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Acid08 said:
Just same building. We're on different floors.
Hung out with the girl that got mad cause I mentioned kissing after she mentioned making love.
God damn she is weird. She brought me a little pouch full of gifts she made for me: felt sushis, a necklace, and a refrigerator magnet.
That was weird, but cool aka my type of weird, but then she got drunk and was saying other really insane stuff. Like stuff that is so insane that I immediately blocked it from my mind and can't remember it now. Bad weird. I showed up late for various reasons, and she was talking to people before I got there, and then the dudes were fucking hovering around us ALL FUCKING NIGHT, being REALLY creepy. I probably could have smashed, or at least gotten somewhere, and all my roommates (they showed up to the bar and saw us, and I decided to leave with them) were like "why didn't you stay with her at the bar after we left and then fuck her?". I am at a loss for a response...it is possible that a girl is too weird for TIMEDOG???
Anyways, I'm willing to give her another chance, preferably without getting drunk, because we were connecting before more alcohol got into the mix (which is usually the opposite). She did immediately text me and say she wanted to hang out again "very soon
".
Opinions: Should I get with this chick even if we don't fully connect, because she's really hot? I don't really don't know. I'll at least give her a second shot because there were points where I felt we connected really well.
God damn she is weird. She brought me a little pouch full of gifts she made for me: felt sushis, a necklace, and a refrigerator magnet.
That was weird, but cool aka my type of weird, but then she got drunk and was saying other really insane stuff. Like stuff that is so insane that I immediately blocked it from my mind and can't remember it now. Bad weird. I showed up late for various reasons, and she was talking to people before I got there, and then the dudes were fucking hovering around us ALL FUCKING NIGHT, being REALLY creepy. I probably could have smashed, or at least gotten somewhere, and all my roommates (they showed up to the bar and saw us, and I decided to leave with them) were like "why didn't you stay with her at the bar after we left and then fuck her?". I am at a loss for a response...it is possible that a girl is too weird for TIMEDOG???
Anyways, I'm willing to give her another chance, preferably without getting drunk, because we were connecting before more alcohol got into the mix (which is usually the opposite). She did immediately text me and say she wanted to hang out again "very soon
". Opinions: Should I get with this chick even if we don't fully connect, because she's really hot? I don't really don't know. I'll at least give her a second shot because there were points where I felt we connected really well.
HappyBivouac
Member
What have you got to lose?
"OH NO I SPENT SOME TIME WITH A WEIRD GIRL"
"OH NO I SPENT SOME TIME WITH A WEIRD GIRL"
Timedog said:Hung out with the girl that got mad cause I mentioned kissing after she mentioned making love.
God damn she is weird. She brought me a little pouch full of gifts she made for me: felt sushis, a necklace, and a refrigerator magnet.
That was weird, but cool aka my type of weird, but then she got drunk and was saying other really insane stuff. Like stuff that is so insane that I immediately blocked it from my mind and can't remember it now. Bad weird. I showed up late for various reasons, and she was talking to people before I got there, and then the dudes were fucking hovering around us ALL FUCKING NIGHT, being REALLY creepy. I probably could have smashed, or at least gotten somewhere, and all my roommates (they showed up to the bar and saw us, and I decided to leave with them) were like "why didn't you stay with her at the bar after we left and then fuck her?". I am at a loss for a response...it is possible that a girl is too weird for TIMEDOG???
Anyways, I'm willing to give her another chance, preferably without getting drunk, because we were connecting before more alcohol got into the mix (which is usually the opposite). She did immediately text me and say she wanted to hang out again "very soon
Opinions: Should I get with this chick even if we don't fully connect, because she's really hot? I don't really don't know. I'll at least give her a second shot because there were points where I felt we connected really well.
Yeah that's a fail on your part there man.
Crazy, good looking and wants to see you = fuck buddy (that doesn't mean you can't date and look for a gf, while remaining only physical with the crazy one). This is what I've been doing for the past 2 years
HappyBivouac
Member
"I DON'T WANT A GIRL WITH ANY DAMN 'ECCENTRICITIES' I WANT A GIRL WHO CAN SHUT UP, BE NORMAL AND LET ME FUCK HER"
Yeah I don't actually think that's how you feel about it. Just shedding some light on the possibility that sometimes people are too quick to jump to "dude she's crazy."
grap3fruitman
Banned
Uh, I don't know how I'm supposed to fight gravity.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
grap3fruitman said:
This works for me. It also smells fantastic.
Aesius
Member
Aesius said:
Finally talked to her on the phone. I can see why she doesn't like it. She's very quiet. I actually had a hard time hearing her on a few occasions.. I asked her if she wanted to get sushi with me this week, and she was down, but she has to check her work schedule. So we'll see.
In other news: I met a hot married chick last night who told me she wants a divorce. I was drunk as fuck, but working my charm like a motherfucker. Unfortunately, I was probably a little too drunk, and I think she could tell :lol She seemed really, really into me though. Got her number at least.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Ohhhhhh, be careful.Aesius said:
Zomba13
Member
Exactly how I feel. Most of my friends are still in uni (I'm a no good drop outXun said:I'm so bored tonight!
I want to go out but no one is free, and I can't stand going out by myself (I find it awkward).
foreveralone.jpg
) and the friends I have here don't like going out or are constantly working in takeaways and I don't think going out alone would be much fun. I may try it though sometime, just to see.Oh, and foreveralone.jpg
I hate when that happens. I was working late last night and wanted to go out, but all of my friends were either working, out of town, or not down to go out.Xun said:I'm so bored tonight!
I want to go out but no one is free, and I can't stand going out by myself (I find it awkward).
foreveralone.jpg
Stayed in and played SSX3. Still had a great time, but I really could've used a beer. It's been a fun but looooong week.
Forever alone-age
First, I want to apologize. I'm asking the same thing I asked a month or 2 ago. "How do I socialize? Where do I go? What do I do?" I know, I know, you guys already told me, and it was good advice, but well, school caught up to me, things got busy and I had to drop everything so I could focus on that. Now, I'm back where I was before, not sure how to approach the whole socialization thing. It's 5:30 on a saturday night and I'm sitting home doing nothing. If I were to mingle, where would I go?
First, I want to apologize. I'm asking the same thing I asked a month or 2 ago. "How do I socialize? Where do I go? What do I do?" I know, I know, you guys already told me, and it was good advice, but well, school caught up to me, things got busy and I had to drop everything so I could focus on that. Now, I'm back where I was before, not sure how to approach the whole socialization thing. It's 5:30 on a saturday night and I'm sitting home doing nothing. If I were to mingle, where would I go?
aktham said:
20. I have one person I could call up, but he never does anything. He's actually probably hanging out with his girlfriend right now. I could call this one other dude, but he's likewise also probably busy.
I like reading books, watching TV and movies. I'm a media sponge. No actual hobbies that have me go out and stuff though.
I am, but classes don't start until the 18th. Furthermore, it's a community college, which means that there isn't much interaction between people. Atleast from what I can tell. Everyone takes their classes and goes home. At most, they'll chit chat with some people but I've never heard so much as a whisper of "Hey, there's this party going on tonight". As for the friend in question, I already asked, and he assures me that his girlfriend's friends are all ugly.aktham said:
I can't help that the larger problem is me. I am simply incapable of making casual conversation with a stranger. I don't know what it is, but this is probably the main issue that's preventing me from being a more outgoing person than I'd like to be.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Yes, you can help it. Start talking to people, especially the ones you're scared to talk...toGeneric said:
there's no getting out of a preposition here
Good to hear this. I much prefer texting :lolRelix said:
doogles said:
I get that, I do. It's just the how that escapes me. I just can't wrap my head around the prospect of bothering a random person when they're out minding their own business. I can get places like classes where you are sitting there with nothing to do, you might as well talk to someone. But stuff like in the mall, where a person is busy doing their shopping? Where do you go to socialize? The OP says anywhere is fine, but I truly don't understand how you talk to people going about their business.
Girl I was dancing with all night long on NYE is tagged in pictures (by another friend who went) with me on FB. She untags, then drops a comment on my wall,
"Some of those pictures are quite close up."
Haha. I'm not sure what she's trying to say by this. Maybe she thinks I tagged her in them?
So I jokingly respond,
"Haha. Not ready for your close up, I take it?"
Her: "Haha, not quite."
"You looked good so I don't know why you're stressin'. Haha."
So, is she peeved and thinks I tagged her in the pictures? Maybe she doesn't want other guys to see it and think we are together? (We aren't. Haha.) I think it's all pretty funny. I just suck at FB etiquette and girls on FB.
"Some of those pictures are quite close up."
Haha. I'm not sure what she's trying to say by this. Maybe she thinks I tagged her in them?
So I jokingly respond,
"Haha. Not ready for your close up, I take it?"
Her: "Haha, not quite."
"You looked good so I don't know why you're stressin'. Haha."
So, is she peeved and thinks I tagged her in the pictures? Maybe she doesn't want other guys to see it and think we are together? (We aren't. Haha.) I think it's all pretty funny. I just suck at FB etiquette and girls on FB.
BentMyWookiee
Member
I think that talking to people you're scared to talk to is easier said than done for somebody who is having a lot of trouble in this area. I personally think it's best to just strike up conversations with people you have no interest in. For example, instead of starting by trying to talk to an attractive girl, build your way up to it by talking to some random guy or old lady while you're in line at the bank or store (somebody who you don't want to bone). When you do this, that level of intimidation that one has when talking to an attractive woman is taken away.doogles said:
Once you get comfortable doing that, it's much simpler to take the next step towards striking up a conversation with a stranger who you're attracted to.
I don't think she's peeved. Most girls are self-conscious about how they look in photos (especially ones that are tagged for everyone on her facebook to see), which is why she untagged herself. I think you handled it well by complimenting her and saying she looked good.soultron said:
I think the problem goes beyond a simple difficulty in breaking the ice. Just a few hours ago, my mom asked me to go down to the grocery store to buy her some food. While there, I saw the girlfriend of my friend, who approached me and tried to chitchat about how things were going. I managed to keep the conversation going, but it felt awkward and unnatural the whole way. I can write up a transcript if you want, but I have such difficulty talking in general.Relix said:
BentMyWookiee said:
Will try this. Hope to not embarrass myself too much in the process.
vitaminwateryum
corporate swill
Generic said:
I feel your pain. Community college sucks pretty bad so far. I'm going to be trying more social in my classes coming up, so hopefully that'll work out somewhat well.
If you're trying to socialize at school, I've found that one of the best times is while everyone is waiting for the professor to get there or during group projects.
BentMyWookiee
Member
While people in community college may seem less interested in socializing, I found that there are still some good opportunities for it. First off, if you're in the same class as somebody, you already have something in common (that class). So that could be your easy opener to a conversation.vitaminwateryum said:
Let's say for example you're in a science class and there's a cute girl in the class. After you take a test/quiz you could just casually say to her, "Wow, that was a pretty difficult test, I don't think I did all that well." She may respond that she felt the same way, or that she did awesome on it. In either case, you have somewhere to take the conversation. If she did bad, just be like, "Hey, maybe we could meet outside of class some time and help each other study or quiz one another." Or if she did good, you could offer to buy her some coffee if she helps you study.
From there, you're now meeting outside of class. And while you're studying, you can strike up conversation and get to know each other. If you feel like you guys click, then you can ask her out.
Another thing for community college that I found to work for socializing is to just get to class a little early. Usually you'll have to wait for the previous class to get out before you can go inside. So just walk up to another classmate who is waiting and strike up a conversation. Something as simple as smiling and saying "hi" will show that you're friendly and can lead to starting a conversation. Or you can comment on something that happened the last time you guys were in class. For example, "Did you Mr. Teacher's huge pit stains yesterday?" or "I thought it was funny/gross how Mr. Teacher was scratching himself and picking his nose when he thought nobody was looking."
Those suggestions may sound quite simple, but you don't really need much as long as it starts you talking. Also, if you find it difficult to do any of that because it's a cute girl or you're intimidated, just start with an ugly girl or some guy. It'll help you get comfortable just striking up conversations and make it much easier when you actually do try it with a cute girl.
I went to a university in a college town, but I don't think that should matter. There were some classes where nobody talks to each other, but there are some where everybody is friendly. Being a telecom major we only had 1 girl in a class of 8 (not the most popular major). We were all good friends in that class and we had the same classes for 3 years. I ran into girls in my elective classes like sociology, psychology, nutrition, and fitness classes.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Don't Community Colleges have classes or clubs where you have to interact with people more than in something like English class. Some examples of this include drama/theater and various fitness things like yoga or whatever.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Not random people: employees at stores, girl behind the counter at Starbucks, person looking at the same thing you are. Smile and say hi to everyone you see.Generic said:
Fair enough. My emphasis was on not letting fear take hold.BentMyWookiee said:
This is a bit long winded, but I need to vent a little : /
So my the first and only girl I've ever dated broke up with me yesterday, we'd been together for about 1 year and three months (I'm 22, never dated in high school).
In essence, she had to break up with me because her parents don't like me.
She comes from a Chinese family, she herself is Chinese-American, and her parents have very strict guidelines about the kind of guy they want her date. For reasons I have yet to understand or figure out, they simply haven't liked me in the time I've been dating her. I've always been kind an courteous around them and treat them with respect, but ever since about six months ago they've been telling her to start looking for a new boyfriend. Before you jump to conclusions, they don't disapprove of her dating me because I'm white, all of her previous boyrfriends have been white so that doesn't bother her parents, but fuck me if I can;t figure out what their issue with me is.
Anyway, her parents have a history of blackmailing and/or extorting her into doing things they want her to do. So, over winter break they pressured her to break up with me or they'd stop paying for her tuition. Her dad doesn't make empty threats either, if he says he'll cut her off, he'll do it.
So, yesterday after she got back into town, she calls me over to her place so "we can talk", from the tone in her voice I immediately knew this was going to be something I didn't want to hear. I went over, she explained to me that she's caught between a rock and hard place and she has no other choice but to end the relationship. I went home with no clue how to feel or react. The day before, as far as I was concerned, our relationship had never been better. The next day it ends, just a complete dead stop.
I went over to her place to talk to her today since I said practically nothing when she was giving me her explanation as to why it simply won't work out as long as her parents don't "approve" of me. We talked for about an hour and unanimously agreed to stay good friends (we're in the same major and have many classes together) since we don't want thing to be incredibly awkward when classes start on Monday. We'll still hang out and do all the things that come with a strong friendship, but as boyrfiend/girlfriend, we're pretty much done.
Basically, now I'm essentially being forced to get over a girl I felt like I was falling in love with just days ago. This is the most emotionally confused I have ever been in my life.
My question is, have any of you ever been put into the same position? Where a relationship just hit a brick wall out of nowhere and went from stronger than ever to completely gone over night? And if so, how did you deal with it? I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with this internally, because it's going to take me a long time before I "get over" her.
*Oh, I think I need to stress that I am in no way angry with her at all, I harbor no ill-feelings of any kind towards her since she was forced into this position by her assholish parents.
So my the first and only girl I've ever dated broke up with me yesterday, we'd been together for about 1 year and three months (I'm 22, never dated in high school).
In essence, she had to break up with me because her parents don't like me.
She comes from a Chinese family, she herself is Chinese-American, and her parents have very strict guidelines about the kind of guy they want her date. For reasons I have yet to understand or figure out, they simply haven't liked me in the time I've been dating her. I've always been kind an courteous around them and treat them with respect, but ever since about six months ago they've been telling her to start looking for a new boyfriend. Before you jump to conclusions, they don't disapprove of her dating me because I'm white, all of her previous boyrfriends have been white so that doesn't bother her parents, but fuck me if I can;t figure out what their issue with me is.
Anyway, her parents have a history of blackmailing and/or extorting her into doing things they want her to do. So, over winter break they pressured her to break up with me or they'd stop paying for her tuition. Her dad doesn't make empty threats either, if he says he'll cut her off, he'll do it.
So, yesterday after she got back into town, she calls me over to her place so "we can talk", from the tone in her voice I immediately knew this was going to be something I didn't want to hear. I went over, she explained to me that she's caught between a rock and hard place and she has no other choice but to end the relationship. I went home with no clue how to feel or react. The day before, as far as I was concerned, our relationship had never been better. The next day it ends, just a complete dead stop.
I went over to her place to talk to her today since I said practically nothing when she was giving me her explanation as to why it simply won't work out as long as her parents don't "approve" of me. We talked for about an hour and unanimously agreed to stay good friends (we're in the same major and have many classes together) since we don't want thing to be incredibly awkward when classes start on Monday. We'll still hang out and do all the things that come with a strong friendship, but as boyrfiend/girlfriend, we're pretty much done.
Basically, now I'm essentially being forced to get over a girl I felt like I was falling in love with just days ago. This is the most emotionally confused I have ever been in my life.
My question is, have any of you ever been put into the same position? Where a relationship just hit a brick wall out of nowhere and went from stronger than ever to completely gone over night? And if so, how did you deal with it? I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with this internally, because it's going to take me a long time before I "get over" her.
*Oh, I think I need to stress that I am in no way angry with her at all, I harbor no ill-feelings of any kind towards her since she was forced into this position by her assholish parents.
vitaminwateryum
corporate swill
MiDNiGHTS said:
Yeah, quite a few of the friends I've made in CC have been through the film / art clubs. Totally forgot to suggest it :lol . Joining clubs are a must if you're looking to socialize.
BentMyWookiee said:
This man speaks the truth! As a person who graduated from a Community College, I can say that it's a very social setting. Maybe the CC that Generic goes to isn't a social college (I don't mean to offend you) but, then again, I went to a CC that's in Tribecca (NYC). As BentMyWokiee said, get to your class a couple of minutes early, chat up a chick that you think looks cute or chat with a group of guys if you don't feel comfortable talking to a chick yet. Also, sit next to a chick that you think looks cute from the first 2 weeks of school or so, so that you start getting comfortable sitting next to her (and chances are she's gonna feel comfortable sitting next to you and is gonna sit next to you for hopefully until the end of the semester) and make small talk with her (this all from personal experience) e.g "Hey, do you know found the value for x?" or "Hey, what'd get you on your quiz/paper?"
Also, if you get Financial Aid, and qualify for Work-Study, then get yourself a job in school e.g from personal experience, as a Computer Lab Aide which allowed me to talk to and meet plenty of people and on top of that, it was easier to talk to attractive looking chicks although I missed out on a lot of opportunities, but you get the point. People used to stop me on the hallway all the time to say "Hey! Didn't you work in the computer Lab?" so you get social proof from working at school. Get yourself a Work-Study job in a place that lots of people go to like the library, the Athletics Department, etc.
Another thing that you should do is go to a club or two that interests you and if you have anxiety, then all the more reason to go to a club. Like drawing? Join attend a drawing club meeting to see if you like it and continue attending it. Like writing? Join the school's literary magazine or newspaper. Wanna meet people who are the same nationality as you? Join your nationality's club if your school has it. I personally, have attended the school's Literary magazine club, an English major club, the drawing club and the Dominican Students Association club every once in a while even though I was paralyzed by fear to attend that club and have gone to public events like a Salsa class event (even though I was extremely nervous), and the school's annual Pageant (Mr. and Mrs. BMCC at my alma mater) for 2 consecutive years.
There's plenty of opportunities to meet people at a Community College, so don't go home so quick. Hell, if there's an event that you're interested in, like for example, a club fair to sign up for clubs, or an Asian cultural Festival then go for it. Community Colleges are chock full of opportunities to meet chicks and new friends but ultimately it's your call on how to make the best of it. Don't pass up on opportunities to meet new people there.
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