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[TurboLibre]

Virginity.

Should I even bother with this anymore? i always kept rambling on about saving it for that special someone, not marriage. But is it even a big deal anymore? I'm at a crossroad where I can either stay single and kill off any feelings like that best I can. Or the other option is to go to a club or whatever and find a random girl to get it over with. I just don't care about this "love" thing or whatever, I've been incredibly ignorant and naive that it's embarrassing to even look back. I want to keep waiting, but I'm turning 23 soon and I skipped getting laid so many times over the years because I wanted to "save" it. But it hasn't given me anything? except some stupid sense of pride over the majority of other people.

Normally I would suggest "Go with your gut" but after hearing you freak out over that girl in the cafe, I say try to nail some random bar chick. I have a hunch it could help you out.

I don't really understand the mentality of "saving it for someone special" though. From what I'm seeing, relationships don't normally start until after you're sleeping together.

Okay, I'm involved with a coworker that's almost ten years old than me and married. We're going to Vegas in a few weeks. Good idea or not? Going through with it but I'm having second thoughts. At the same time, I suck with women and I want something so... yeah.

She's married?

Fuck.

No.

 

[whitehawk]

Sorry, just going to bump this to the new page.

Whitehawk,

How many times did you sex her up?

Did you maintain a separate life from her, with some activities that precluded you from being available to her all the time?

These are some of the areas where a lot of men in relationships fail.

Also, if you want a chance to get back with her eventually, start by cutting off contact now. Completely. The more you attempt to regain her at this time the farther away she will move from you.

I'm actually really embarrassed by this, and it's also another thing I've had a hard time dealing with. We had been dating for about 4 months. Although she had been away in Africa and out of the city for a month of that time where I had no contact with her, so perhaps not exactly 4 months. Anyway, we tried to have sex earlier in december. I couldn't get it up, and it sucked. After that it slowly fell apart it feels. She brought up how she was upset because it felt like if she didn't arrange for us to meet up, we would never see each other. I pushed myself to change this, and I did. But then it seemed to do a 180. I was always the one making plans for us, and she wasn't. Anyway. After it didn't happen that time, it just sort of didn't happen after that. It's hard, since we are both in High School. She works on fridays and saturdays, and we both of very busy schedules outside of that. I was really trying recently, I become open with my parents and got them out of the house last week so we could have time alone together, but she had to cancel. I did the same thing this tuesday, in an effort to try and fix things, but then she broke up with me.

And yes, sexual tension was diffidently something that led to the downfall... And I feel really embarrassed that I wasn't able to have sex and lose my virginity after dating a girl for so long. It's been hard to deal with that, along with losing someone I really cared about. I was really trying hard in the past few weeks (I surprised her at her work on new years eve to spend it with her). But she did things, specially one thing, that really made me feel pushed away which made it really hard to open up to her. When we were walking together, in the past few weeks she wouldn't put her hand out to hold hands. Even on new years eve, when it was really really mild out. Made it really hard.

*sigh* Didn't expect to post so much. Sorry if it's a jumbled mess/doesn't make sense. And don't worry, I haven't made any contact with her since the breakup.

I'm singing a song at my school at the end of the month. I kind of want to put on a fucking kick ass performance to let her know "yeah, you broke up with this"

 

[grap3fruitman]

She's married?
Fuck.
No.

Not happily, no. Stuff fell apart at home years ago but they're still married.

 

[SRG01]

Something finally broke today with me and I just don't care about the lovey dovey shit anymore. I mean there's still this part of me that wants that, but it's damn near impossible in todays society. Maybe I should just sleep on this before I do anything drastic,.

I'm a 26-soon-to-be-27 year old virgin and let me tell you this: Being a virgin or not does not factor into who you are perceived to be by a woman.

Also, sex is what you make of it. It can be just "a good time" or it can be something more. Either way, being caught up in some romanticism about it is just as bad as treating it as nothing.

Personally, I'm like one of those people in the other thread that values self-esteem more than sex. It's not gamebreaking if I ever do lose my virginity, but it's not the end of the world if I don't. Would I love sex? Of course. Do I need it? No. There are more important things in life than to get caught up in just one thing.

 

[TurboLibre]

Not happily, no. Stuff fell apart at home years ago but they're still married.

It doesn't matter. I wouldn't get near that until they're divorced.

 

[SRG01]

Oh, and update: Turns out she's not a redhead

Spoiler

I must be blind :lol

but we instantly clicked. We're going to go Tangoing in a week or so to see if we have more chemistry.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Virginity.

Should I even bother with this anymore? i always kept rambling on about saving it for that special someone, not marriage. But is it even a big deal anymore? I'm at a crossroad where I can either stay single and kill off any feelings like that best I can. Or the other option is to go to a club or whatever and find a random girl to get it over with. I just don't care about this "love" thing or whatever, I've been incredibly ignorant and naive that it's embarrassing to even look back. I want to keep waiting, but I'm turning 23 soon and I skipped getting laid so many times over the years because I wanted to "save" it. But it hasn't given me anything? except some stupid sense of pride over the majority of other people.

GAF saves lives.

 

[The Shadow]

How careful should you be with your girlfriends male friends? I've got a new girlfriend who hangs with guys alot, just as friends, but she's hot so I obviously know what most of these fuckers are thinking.:lol I trust her, but I'm not used to the idea of my gf hanging with a guy one on one... She's very naive and doesn't believe these guys are looking for more.

I'm obviously not gonna prohibit her from hanging around with them or anything, but should I just not give a fuck at all?

Here's the deal with girls with lots of guy friends. If she wanted them, she would be with them. It's that simple.

My advice to you, meet them. Setup a date and time where you can meet her friends and have a little get together. I do this anyway even if a gf has only female friends because I want to get to know them better too but you definitely need to do this if she's around a bunch of guys. Get to know them, become friendly with them without being "friends" with them. Just doing that will cause most of them to lay off if they do want to try something with her.* Plus, it allows you to get an idea how some of them feel about the relationship and her.

After you do that, just keep track of which friends she hangs out with. Is that one guy you were kind of suspicious about, hanging out with her more often now? Then bring it up your concerns with her, especially if they drink together.

Chances are though you don't have much to worry about. Like I said, if she wanted to do anything with them, she would have when she was single already. If a friend of hers was interested in her and didn't try anything, he was a friendzoned wuss that still hangs around hoping she'll make a move (she won't). If a friend of hers was interested in her and made a move, nothing happened obviously because she wouldn't be going out with you.


*

Spoiler

Granted, that can backfire completely if you come across as a spectacular jerk or wuss but you don't sound like either.

Virginity.

Should I even bother with this anymore? i always kept rambling on about saving it for that special someone, not marriage. But is it even a big deal anymore? I'm at a crossroad where I can either stay single and kill off any feelings like that best I can. Or the other option is to go to a club or whatever and find a random girl to get it over with. I just don't care about this "love" thing or whatever, I've been incredibly ignorant and naive that it's embarrassing to even look back. I want to keep waiting, but I'm turning 23 soon and I skipped getting laid so many times over the years because I wanted to "save" it. But it hasn't given me anything? except some stupid sense of pride over the majority of other people.

My opinion on this is simple: Unless you have religious obligations to stay a virgin until you're married, it's pretty pointless.

It's really NOT a big deal. The only time it's a big deal is the previously mentioned religious obligations and in TV/Movies. Outside of that, especially if you live in the city, it's looked upon like a novelty, not as some charming or chivalrous act.

I don't think you should do it for the sake of doing it to lose your v-card. If you're able to have a normal relationship with a girl, and I assume you can because you've said the opportunity has come up before, just have sex when the time is right.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Something finally broke today with me and I just don't care about the lovey dovey shit anymore. I mean there's still this part of me that wants that, but it's damn near impossible in todays society. Maybe I should just sleep on this before I do anything drastic,.

That's a good way to think dude. I mean, honestly I'm still a super sweet guy at heart, but if all a girl knows about you is how sweet you are, then you're setting yourself up for failure. Be an asshole at first. Most girls dig that. If you don't think she's feeling it, subtly bring up the concept in conversation ("only assholes get the girls"). Use how she acts towards that statement to help shape up your behavior. Keep in mind, I'm not saying lie about who you are. I personally always strive to make other people happy. If I have to change how I act to do so, then that's all part of who I am.

 

[The Shadow]

Be an asshole at first. Most girls dig that.

Wrong. Confidence does not mean be an asshole.

If you don't think she's feeling it, subtly bring up the concept in conversation ("only assholes get the girls").

WRONG WRONG WRONG

 

[TurboLibre]

Be an asshole at first. Most girls dig that.

No.

Be yourself, just a more confident and outgoing you. If you're not normally an asshole pretending to be one is only going to hurt you.

 

[CrushDance]

How could you make someone want you so bad? Make them try. And then you just pull out the blankets from underneath them? She never even gave me the slightest indication, even said yes when I asked her. What a monster. I'm glad I threw caution to the wind this time and didn't get emotionally invested daydreaming. My friend was right and after the fallout, I heard from a lot of people, even some friends of hers that she was rather cold like that. It just amazes me that anybody could be so brave and uncaring about other peoples emotions. Still, I'm happy for listening to you guys and jumping into the water, just more experienced gained and I trust myself more now. She never did really seem to let me initiate conversation and always dodged my questions. I mean goddamn, last time I talked to her:

Me: Hey, how was your day?

her: Good.

Me: Pretty hectic huh?

Her: Yes. <----Not yeah, YES

Me: Any plans for tonight?

Her: Yes

Me: Cool. How's that new parrot you got? I saw you posted about it on FB yesterday

Her: Fine

lol, wow. This was after she agreed to go out on a date with me. After she once again flirted with me and I with her. No wonder one of the girls straight up called her a bitch at the party when she was there. I asked her why she would say something like that and she told me that they used to be good friends until she started hitting on all her nerdy guy friends and then pulling away when they tried to ask her out. I talked to a close female friend about this and she told me that some girls will just aim at guys lower than them for attention with no intention of furthering things. Just to make themselves seem more attractive. Fucking psycho.

I was a little emotional, but I got over it in the span of two hours. Record for me this time. There's thousands of girls at school, I can try again on Monday.

Edit: The worst part about this all? She fucking told everyone but me first that she wasn't going to date me. I had to find out through a random FB message from a female friend.

My opinion on this is simple: Unless you have religious obligations to stay a virgin until you're married, it's pretty pointless.

It's really NOT a big deal. The only time it's a big deal is the previously mentioned religious obligations and in TV/Movies. Outside of that, especially if you live in the city, it's looked upon like a novelty, not as some charming or chivalrous act.

I don't think you should do it for the sake of doing it to lose your v-card. If you're able to have a normal relationship with a girl, and I assume you can because you've said the opportunity has come up before, just have sex when the time is right.

Yeah, too much bullshit I was raised to value. Next time, I'll just go with it.

 

[Eggo]

I'm a 26-soon-to-be-27 year old virgin and let me tell you this: Being a virgin or not does not factor into who you are perceived to be by a woman.

Personally, I'm like one of those people in the other thread that values self-esteem more than sex. It's not gamebreaking if I ever do lose my virginity, but it's not the end of the world if I don't. Would I love sex? Of course. Do I need it? No. There are more important things in life than to get caught up in just one thing.

I am not a virgin, but I suspect being one at that age is going to impact your ability to maintain a long-term relationship. Most people in their mid-20s crossed that bridge long ago, and if you're not comfortable having sex and talking about it, it can be a big problem in a relationship. You may not need it, or think you do, but it's a biological need that if not taken care of will only lead to problems. Out of curiosity, what is the longest you've been in a relationship?

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Look it's much much easier to be an asshole and back off a bit than it is to be a "more confident you" and toughen up a bit. It's easier for a guy to do and it's easier for a girl to understand. If you're an asshole to a girl, you're far more likely to get a second chance than if you are a super nice guy and you get friendzoned. Don't white knight my advice because it doesn't sound PC.

 

[Neki]

How could you make someone want you so bad? Make them try. And then you just pull out the blankets from underneath them? She never even gave me the slightest indication, even said yes when I asked her. What a monster. I'm glad I threw caution to the wind this time and didn't get emotionally invested daydreaming. My friend was right and after the fallout, I heard from a lot of people, even some friends of hers that she was rather cold like that. It just amazes me that anybody could be so brave and uncaring about other peoples emotions. Still, I'm happy for listening to you guys and jumping into the water, just more experienced gained and I trust myself more now. She never did really seem to let me initiate conversation and always dodged my questions. I mean goddamn, last time I talked to her:

Me: Hey, how was your day?

her: Good.

Me: Pretty hectic huh?

Her: Yes. <----Not yeah, YES

Me: Any plans for tonight?

Her: Yes

Me: Cool. How's that new parrot you got? I saw you posted about it on FB yesterday

Her: Fine

lol, wow. This was after she agreed to go out on a date with me. After she once again flirted with me and I with her. No wonder one of the girls straight up called her a bitch at the party when she was there. I asked her why she would say something like that and she told me that they used to be good friends until she started hitting on all her nerdy guy friends and then pulling away when they tried to ask her out. I talked to a close female friend about this and she told me that some girls will just aim at guys lower than them for attention with no intention of furthering things. Just to make themselves seem more attractive. Fucking psycho.

I was a little emotional, but I got over it in the span of two hours. Record for me this time. There's thousands of girls at school, I can try again on Monday.

Edit: The worst part about this all? She fucking told everyone but me first that she wasn't going to date me. I had to find out through a random FB message from a female friend.


Yeah, too much bullshit I was raised to value. Next time, I'll just go with it.

Which girl was this? Also, is it sad that I think I've pretty much followed this thread from Page 1? (insert laughing smiley that no longer exists).

 

[Rubenov]

Sorry, just going to bump this to the new page.

I'm actually really embarrassed by this, and it's also another thing I've had a hard time dealing with. We had been dating for about 4 months. Although she had been away in Africa and out of the city for a month of that time where I had no contact with her, so perhaps not exactly 4 months. Anyway, we tried to have sex earlier in december. I couldn't get it up, and it sucked. After that it slowly fell apart it feels. She brought up how she was upset because it felt like if she didn't arrange for us to meet up, we would never see each other. I pushed myself to change this, and I did. But then it seemed to do a 180. I was always the one making plans for us, and she wasn't. Anyway. After it didn't happen that time, it just sort of didn't happen after that. It's hard, since we are both in High School. She works on fridays and saturdays, and we both of very busy schedules outside of that. I was really trying recently, I become open with my parents and got them out of the house last week so we could have time alone together, but she had to cancel. I did the same thing this tuesday, in an effort to try and fix things, but then she broke up with me.

And yes, sexual tension was diffidently something that led to the downfall... And I feel really embarrassed that I wasn't able to have sex and lose my virginity after dating a girl for so long. It's been hard to deal with that, along with losing someone I really cared about. I was really trying hard in the past few weeks (I surprised her at her work on new years eve to spend it with her). But she did things, specially one thing, that really made me feel pushed away which made it really hard to open up to her. When we were walking together, in the past few weeks she wouldn't put her hand out to hold hands. Even on new years eve, when it was really really mild out. Made it really hard.

*sigh* Didn't expect to post so much. Sorry if it's a jumbled mess/doesn't make sense. And don't worry, I haven't made any contact with her since the breakup.

I'm singing a song at my school at the end of the month. I kind of want to put on a fucking kick ass performance to let her know "yeah, you broke up with this"

Defintely the sex part bombed the whole thing. Women want to have sex. No worries, now you know for next time. Always push for the sex and let her be te one to stop you. On the holding hands and all that lovey dovey stuff, that's usually a woman's role to carry it. If you get a push bck on holding hand or something similar then you back out from those actions until she initiates them again.

Gon on and put on a kick ass performance at school... don't acknowledge her when you do. It will drive her a little crazy.

 

[CrushDance]

Which girl was this? Also, is it sad that I think I've pretty much followed this thread from Page 1? (insert laughing smiley that no longer exists).

The one that 100% for sure liked me.

 

[Neki]

The one that 100% for sure liked me.

If you actually asked her out, that's good. But from that description, seems like a complete 180 in attitude and personality in comparison to the first post you wrote about her. So she's just a deceiving douchebag?

 

[CrushDance]

If you actually asked her out, that's good. But from that description, seems like a complete 180 in attitude and personality in comparison to the first post you wrote about her. So she's just a deceiving douchebag?

The night after we had our "GAF talk" I fucking asked her. She said YES. Dear lord, she said yes. What sane person does all this shit just to fuck with someone? I had half the mind to call her a bitch but bit my tongue. I'm not going to say shit to her tomorrow, if she does her cutesy stuff again, I'll give her the same treatment. Matter of fact, I'm going to straght up ask her tomorrow "Do you want to date?" No "Want to hang out", no "Lets go see a movie", no, I will be as blunt as possible, and if she does a "maybe" I'm walking. What pisses me off the most is that she hasn't freaking told me this to my face. But she's sneaking around telling other people? What a ***** *** **** **********

 

[whitehawk]

Defintely the sex part bombed the whole thing. Women want to have sex. No worries, now you know for next time. Always push for the sex and let her be te one to stop you. On the holding hands and all that lovey dovey stuff, that's usually a woman's role to carry it. If you get a push bck on holding hand or something similar then you back out from those actions until she initiates them again.

Gon on and put on a kick ass performance at school... don't acknowledge her when you do. It will drive her a little crazy.

Yup, I knew it was the lack of intimacy. Which is why it's harder to deal with, because we got along so great, but my inexperience with relationships is what killed it. I wish I had of learned this stuff with a different girl.

And yes. I am going to put on a kick as performance, regardless. It's something I've been working towards for a long time.

 

[SRG01]

I am not a virgin, but I suspect being one at that age is going to impact your ability to maintain a long-term relationship. Most people in their mid-20s crossed that bridge long ago, and if you're not comfortable having sex and talking about it, it can be a big problem in a relationship. You may not need it, or think you do, but it's a biological need that if not taken care of will only lead to problems. Out of curiosity, what is the longest you've been in a relationship?

I disagree with your point but... Half a year. I'm totally comfortable with talking about it; the only reason why it hasn't happened yet was because most of my previous relationships never progressed to that point and my last relationship was with an ultra-conservative girl.

If it happens, it'll happen. I'm not too worried about it.

edit: Re: to the recent discussions: There's no such thing as super nice being a bad thing. You can be nice and confident and assertive. It's not mutually exclusive. The only reason why you'd be friend-zoned is that she isn't interested in what you offer, or that you have some sort of deal-breaker.

If you're on a date, make it known that it's a date. Compliment her, flirt, make her laugh. Don't be timid.

 

[johnny_park]

Has anyone gone out with a bisexual girl before? Should it bother me? All I know is that when I'm with her I am so happy. I'm just wondering if I should pursue anything with her?

 

[dskillzhtown]

The night after we had our "GAF talk" I fucking asked her. She said YES. Dear lord, she said yes. What sane person does all this shit just to fuck with someone? I had half the mind to call her a bitch but bit my tongue. I'm not going to say shit to her tomorrow, if she does her cutesy stuff again, I'll give her the same treatment. Matter of fact, I'm going to straght up ask her tomorrow "Do you want to date?" No "Want to hang out", no "Lets go see a movie", no, I will be as blunt as possible, and if she does a "maybe" I'm walking. What pisses me off the most is that she hasn't freaking told me this to my face. But she's sneaking around telling other people? What a ***** *** **** **********

So she is being this bizarre early on, yet you want to keep spending time with her? One thing I am not understanding about many of the newer posts is why people are totally ignoring all these red flags that are hitting them in the face? "She is making me miserable already, but I am going to date her!!!".

Umm..okay.

 

[sooperkool]

Has anyone gone out with a bisexual girl before? Should it bother me? All I know is that when I'm with her I am so happy. I'm just wondering if I should pursue anything with her?

Theyre no different than any other girl and yes, I have gone out with a few. Go for it.

 

[JeTmAn81]

I am not a virgin, but I suspect being one at that age is going to impact your ability to maintain a long-term relationship. Most people in their mid-20s crossed that bridge long ago, and if you're not comfortable having sex and talking about it, it can be a big problem in a relationship. You may not need it, or think you do, but it's a biological need that if not taken care of will only lead to problems. Out of curiosity, what is the longest you've been in a relationship?

It depends on who you date. I was a virgin at age 26 when I first met my wife, who was also a virgin. We got married about 2.5 years later.

 

[hellclerk]

So she is being this bizarre early on, yet you want to keep spending time with her? One thing I am not understanding about many of the newer posts is why people are totally ignoring all these red flags that are hitting them in the face? "She is making me miserable already, but I am going to date her!!!".

Umm..okay.

I suspect it's a pride thing. I don't think he's interested in her more than her physical appearance at this point. He wants either justification that she's a cold hard bitch-cunt or that he CAN step up and be an assertive asshole if that's what the bitch REALLY wants. If the former, he can flip her the birdy and move on. If it's the latter, I do hope he dumps her the moment she's pining for him.

 

[Mike Works]

Her: Yes. <----Not yeah, YES

 

[Ultima_5]

How careful should you be with your girlfriends male friends? I've got a new girlfriend who hangs with guys alot, just as friends, but she's hot so I obviously know what most of these fuckers are thinking.:lol I trust her, but I'm not used to the idea of my gf hanging with a guy one on one... She's very naive and doesn't believe these guys are looking for more.

I'm obviously not gonna prohibit her from hanging around with them or anything, but should I just not give a fuck at all?

I'm in a very similar situation. The girl i'm dating has about 1/2 of her friends being guys, who she sees quite frequently (not to odd. being in college and what not). The trick is to not get to jealous about it. If she trust you, then you should trust her as well. It of course helps to know some of them... Also early on, we established boundaries. Like what we defined as cheating and what not. That way everyone is clear on the terms, and you don't find out she's been making out w/ one of those guy friends for the last few months because she doesn't view it as cheating.

 

[SRG01]

I'm in a very similar situation. The girl i'm dating has about 1/2 of her friends being guys, who she sees quite frequently (not to odd. being in college and what not). The trick is to not get to jealous about it. If she trust you, then you should trust her as well. It of course helps to know some of them... Also early on, we established boundaries. Like what we defined as cheating and what not. That way everyone is clear on the terms, and you don't find out she's been making out w/ one of those guy friends for the last few months because she doesn't view it as cheating.

To me, there's such as rational jealousy. That's when she puts other guys ahead of you.

It's okay if she has male friends, but she has to make time for you as well.

 

[ggnoobIGN]

To me, there's such as rational jealousy. That's when she puts other guys ahead of you.

It's okay if she has male friends, but she has to make time for you as well.

Yep.

Also, Men are naturally controlling, and you know what, there is nothing wrong with that. Most women are going to like that to a certain extent. She better make you the #1 male in her life at all-times, no questions asked, no matter how good of friends she is with a certain other male. If this isn't the case, bring it up.

I had a similar situation not too long ago. Some pussy ass kid kept calling kept calling my GF and wanting to talking how he misses his ex GF, who was now currently whoring it up. In other words, he was looking to get laid. Honestly, this kid was pretty good friends with my GF. I didn't think much of it, although I knew what his intentions were. Then he started calling at odd hours of the night and then it just got weird so I brought it up up to her in a very calm manner, just saying that I didn't want him calling at 3AM anymore, and didn't even make a big deal out of. She responded that I was right and told me she would never ever talk to this kid again.

Ha, okay, not even closed to what I asked, but I'll take it. Bottom line is, girls are more than happy to oblige with their boyfriends requests. They mostly enjoy being told what to do or being control as long as it's not extreme or anything. That goes for basic stuff too. When you're making plans for a date, make them at a firm time, make them at a firm place and make sure you make them. The girl will be happy to go do anything just to spend time with you. Doesn't necessarily work vice versa, ha.

 

[Xun]

I'm singing a song at my school at the end of the month. I kind of want to put on a fucking kick ass performance to let her know "yeah, you broke up with this"

What are you going to sing?

 

[Eggo]

I disagree with your point but... Half a year. I'm totally comfortable with talking about it; the only reason why it hasn't happened yet was because most of my previous relationships never progressed to that point and my last relationship was with an ultra-conservative girl.

If it happens, it'll happen. I'm not too worried about it.

For people who are used to having sex, the lack of it is going to have significant impact on relationships, as it's important for most people. Put another way, when I was dating, I usually check out when I hear a girl is a virgin. Chances are she wants to wait a long time and make it special, and I won't want to wait that long. I'd never wait 6 months for example, I'd leave after a few dates.

In the end, you're going to do what you want to do. Just realize there's a lot more to maintaining a healthy relationship than sex. 6 months is nothing. You don't even see the real person until 9 months into a relationship. Being able to stay with someone for 2-3 years takes work and experience. You don't have to be in a hurry, but if you someday dream of being in a long-lasting relationship, you need to get that experience sooner rather than later because you're already behind the curve and have a lot of catching up to do.

It depends on who you date. I was a virgin at age 26 when I first met my wife, who was also a virgin. We got married about 2.5 years later.

You have to admit you're the exception to the rule. Most people these days do not wait that long for their first encounter, and finding a partner in the same situation has to make it even more rare.

 

[Chinner]

The night after we had our "GAF talk" I fucking asked her. She said YES. Dear lord, she said yes. What sane person does all this shit just to fuck with someone? I had half the mind to call her a bitch but bit my tongue. I'm not going to say shit to her tomorrow, if she does her cutesy stuff again, I'll give her the same treatment. Matter of fact, I'm going to straght up ask her tomorrow "Do you want to date?" No "Want to hang out", no "Lets go see a movie", no, I will be as blunt as possible, and if she does a "maybe" I'm walking. What pisses me off the most is that she hasn't freaking told me this to my face. But she's sneaking around telling other people? What a ***** *** **** **********

you do know nothing of value will come out this, right? don't waste your breath speaking to her mang.

 

[hellclerk]

You have to admit you're the exception to the rule. Most people these days do not wait that long for their first encounter, and finding a partner in the same situation has to make it even more rare.

That's... actually not accurate. One in four students coming out of college, male and female, are virgins. Additionally, hook-up culture isn't nearly as prevalent in schools as you'd imagine, since the average number of hook-up partners over an ENTIRE college career is five, and the definition of a "hook-up" can be as simple as "making out". So basically, he's not a particular exception. Society tells us as such, but it's not nearly as prevalent as implied.

 

[Aesius]

I'm singing a song at my school at the end of the month. I kind of want to put on a fucking kick ass performance to let her know "yeah, you broke up with this"

Do it if it makes you feel better, but just know that there's literally nothing you can do that could make her ever reconsider (barring winning the lottery - and then she'd just be after your money). Once a girl loses her attraction for you, it's gone for good.

 

[whitehawk]

Even more confusion now.

One of my now Exs female friends started talking to me on facebook. Anyway, her boyfriend broke up with her, and she wants to get back together. But she mentioned if I wanted to get back together with my ex, my case isn't a hopeless as hers. She said she thinks that my ex actually wants to get back together...

Anyway, we shall see. I've been avoiding her in the hallways at school, just not talking to her. So today she sent me a text wondering when I'm ready to talk, because although I don't want to right now, it's hard for her not to talk. So much confusion. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, I know chances are still glim. If it somehow does happen though, I'll gladly give it another go.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Even more confusion now.

One of my now Exs female friends started talking to me on facebook. Anyway, her boyfriend broke up with her, and she wants to get back together. But she mentioned if I wanted to get back together with my ex, my case isn't a hopeless as hers. She said she thinks that my ex actually wants to get back together...

Anyway, we shall see. I've been avoiding her in the hallways at school, just not talking to her. So today she sent me a text wondering when I'm ready to talk, because although I don't want to right now, it's hard for her not to talk. So much confusion. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, I know chances are still glim. If it somehow does happen though, I'll gladly give it another go.

You broke up for a reason. Whatever that reason was, it'll probably come up again.

 

[Eggo]

That's... actually not accurate. One in four students coming out of college, male and female, are virgins. Additionally, hook-up culture isn't nearly as prevalent in schools as you'd imagine, since the average number of hook-up partners over an ENTIRE college career is five, and the definition of a "hook-up" can be as simple as "making out". So basically, he's not a particular exception. Society tells us as such, but it's not nearly as prevalent as implied.

I'm not an expert in this matter, but I did a quick google search and came up with this report, which seems to tout the numbers you speak of. It also seems to back up my point. Here's a quote and the original link.

http://www.newstrategist.com/productdetails/Sex.SamplePgs.pdf

Nearly Everyone Has Had Sex by Their Early Twenties

Most people aged 15 to 44 have had sex within the past three months. If ever there was any doubt that sexual activity is a universal human drive, a look at the following tables would put those doubts to rest. By age 18, most men and women have had sexual intercourse. By age 23, more than 90 percent are sexually experienced.

Interestingly, education dampens sexual activity. College graduates are less likely than those with less education to have had sex in the past three months—53 to 54 percent of college graduates have done so versus 67 to 70 percent of high school graduates.

 

[jamesinclair]

I'm not an expert in this matter, but I did a quick google search and came up with this report, which seems to tout the numbers you speak of. It also seems to back up my point. Here's a quote and the original link.

http://www.newstrategist.com/productdetails/Sex.SamplePgs.pdf

Nope, read again:

"By age 18, most men and women have had sexual intercourse. By age 23, more than 90 percent are sexually experienced.

Interestingly, education dampens sexual activity. College graduates are less likely than those with less education to have had sex in the past three months—53 to 54 percent of college graduates have done so versus 67 to 70 percent of high school graduates."

Most = 51%

Also, people graduate college at 21, not 23.

He said 25% were virgin at 21. That fits with your data.

18 = 51%
21= between 51% and 90%, which includes 75%
23= 90%

ESPECIALLY when you consider the next part...about how college folks have elss sex.


You have low class people, like in the memphis school with 90 pregnancies on one side, and then on the other side you have higher class folks who are generally more educated about. sex.

So going back to 18...

Assuming the same size schools, for ease of calculation.
Lets say 90% of memphis school kids had sex
And 11% of Boston Latin school kids had sex.

51% had sex by 18.

But of those...

5% of memphis school kids will go to college
And 95% of Boston latin school kids go to college.

So the freshman class has 14% as people who have had sex...

and 86% virgins!

Meaning by senior year, its very possible that 25% still havent had sex.




From personal experience, Id say that 75% of college freshmen (my classmates) were virgins.

 

[woodchuck]

so she wants to "Talk" tomorrow. she's been acting distant recently. looks like i'll be joining single-gaf soon

 

[Eggo]

stuff

What does this have to do with the original conversation? I said being a virgin at 26, you're behind the curve. This report says at 23, 1 in 10 people are virgins. By 26, that percent should be even lower.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

From personal experience, Id say that 75% of college freshmen (my classmates) were virgins.

Where did you go to school at? I went to a church-affiliated school and I'd say from personal experience ~80% of college freshmen at my school weren't virgins.

 

[jamesinclair]

Where did you go to school at? I went to a church-affiliated school and I'd say from personal experience ~80% of college freshmen at my school weren't virgins.

Boston University. Nobody I knew was religious....except for one girl that took every jew holiday off, even though her facebook pics showed that she was clearly not partaking in a religious observation of the holidays. Ironically, she was also not a virgin.

I KNOW that my high school graduating class was around 80% virgin.

 

[CrushDance]

you do know nothing of value will come out this, right? don't waste your breath speaking to her mang.

Sorry, but I just had to know from her own mouth.

I went up to her today and pulled her aside to talk. I said "Did I misunderstand you?" And she just gave me the biggest bitch face and rolled her eyes while saying "Misunderstand what?", I said "When I asked you out, you said yes. So what's going on lately?" and she said "I just want to be friends. Nothing romantic." L.O.L. I said "Okay, glad we cleared that up then. Thank you." and walked away. She walked by earlier today and stared at me from the corner of my eye before swinging around again as if to say something before leaving.

I don't hate her. I don't dislike her. I honest to goodness don't really care either way about her. I'll treat her just as I did before and be mature about it. Yeah I was a little upset earlier today because she really is stunning and I would have loved to have her as my first and all. But I'm not going to get all emo about it like in the past. Because she's the one that missed out and I feel sorry for her because I know I could have treated her well.

So yeah, there we go. She was "being friendly" I had half a mind to tell her to fuck off at that point. I mean really? Who the fuck gets a guy drinks all the time with hearts and shit on them to be friendly? Truly the first bitch I've met in my life.

 

[The Shadow]

So yeah, there we go. She was "being friendly" I had half a mind to tell her to fuck off at that point. I mean really? Who the fuck gets a guy drinks all the time with hearts and shit on them to be friendly? Truly the first bitch I've met in my life.

Oh, that girl... Yeah, some women like to play games. They get off manipulating and teasing and having guys become their "pet".

I wouldn't tell her to fuck off, just don't pay her any more attention. Play it off like you don't care, because you shouldn't really.

 

[Relix]

Even more confusion now.

One of my now Exs female friends started talking to me on facebook. Anyway, her boyfriend broke up with her, and she wants to get back together. But she mentioned if I wanted to get back together with my ex, my case isn't a hopeless as hers. She said she thinks that my ex actually wants to get back together...

Anyway, we shall see. I've been avoiding her in the hallways at school, just not talking to her. So today she sent me a text wondering when I'm ready to talk, because although I don't want to right now, it's hard for her not to talk. So much confusion. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, I know chances are still glim. If it somehow does happen though, I'll gladly give it another go.

Double rebound...

Meant to fail pretty damn hard.

 

[CrushDance]

Oh, that girl... Yeah, some women like to play games. They get off manipulating and teasing and having guys become their "pet".

I wouldn't tell her to fuck off, just don't pay her any more attention. Play it off like you don't care, because you shouldn't really.

This has been a great learning experience. Sure I stll view women as "special" but I now I know they're straight up assholes as well and don't need to be treated with a light touch. They can be just as bad.

 

[hellclerk]

I'm not an expert in this matter, but I did a quick google search and came up with this report, which seems to tout the numbers you speak of. It also seems to back up my point. Here's a quote and the original link.

http://www.newstrategist.com/productdetails/Sex.SamplePgs.pdf

My source is an essay in a Jesuit educational academic journal, and as Mr. Sinclair has so kindly pointed out, that 90% number comes from 23 year olds. Additionally, the article I read says that there's plenty of research out there that overstates the numbers as well as the effect.

It went on to say that the hook-up culture pretty much dies with college. Besides, the point was you were implying that everyone but the anti-social nerds had shacked up by 15. It's simply not the case. And hook-up culture is alot less prevalent than you'd imagine, so how many of those people who lost their virginity have gotten laid more than that once? I was reading some of the OKTrends articles (they're pretty awesome), but I read the one about gay people, and it basically said that 62% of the sex was being had by 2% of the gay OKC population, so I wonder how much that can be transfered to straight people. What's the difference between how much do we SEE people get laid and how much are we TOLD that people get laid and how much people ACTUALLY get laid. I'm really not convinced that it's as much as we think. Certainly, the virgins at 23-26 increasingly become statistical outliers, but I'm unconvinced that sex is as constant and important as the media implies to us. That was my point in the post. Sure, being a Virgin at 26 tanks your self-esteem because society says it's bad.

 

[Mike Works]

This has been a great learning experience. Sure I stll view women as "special" but I now I know they're straight up assholes as well and don't need to be treated with a light touch. They can be just as bad.

They can be, yes. As can all human beings. That being said, not all women are assholes. I know you're angry right now, but don't deal in such absolutes.

 

[johnny_park]

I went out with this girl for a second time today, first was on Wednesday. I'm pretty sure we are going to hang out again this weekend or early next week. Should I make a move on the third date?
I was in a nine year relationship before this so this whole dating thing feels new again. I don't want to scare her off.