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[scoot3r]

cashman that was hilarious! But someone mentioned texting and waiting blah, the movie Swingers really made this an issue i think even though it isnt one. if you get a girls number and want to text or call then do it! waiting some arbitrary time limit is dumb, just go with it!

 

[Pachimari]

Totally like that one comic strip dude, haha awesome find!

 

[Rubenov]

@ Crushdance,

You have entirely the wrong attitude regarding with what happened between you and that woman. The outcome was entirely your fault.

She was genuinely interested in you, and the many people that pointed that out here were right. You had a window of opportunity in which she showed her interest in you and you just brushed it off, saying how you were going to wait to wait until you got to know her first, and how if she was interested in you now she was going to be later. Myself and others pointed out how a bunch of horseshit that was. Your window of opportunity closed.

Then you decided to make a move, and I mentioned how at the moment you decided to make a move it was going to fail, based on the cognitive dissonance and plain inexperience you were exhibiting through your posts. Now, by blaming the woman on this, you are setting yourself back even more. It was your fault, take it like a man, and try to do better next time.

 

[The Shadow]

@ Crushdance,

You have entirely the wrong attitude regarding with what happened between you and that woman. The outcome was entirely your fault.

She was genuinely interested in you, and the many people that pointed that out here were right. You had a window of opportunity in which she showed her interest in you and you just brushed it off, saying how you were going to wait to wait until you got to know her first, and how if she was interested in you now she was going to be later. Myself and others pointed out how a bunch of horseshit that was. Your window of opportunity closed.

Then you decided to make a move, and I mentioned how at the moment you decided to make a move it was going to fail, based on the cognitive dissonance and plain inexperience you were exhibiting through your posts. Now, by blaming the woman on this, you are setting yourself back even more. It was your fault, take it like a man, and try to do better next time.

Come to think of it, I remember that now. I even commented that he was being stupid for waiting.

And that was a while ago when he made that original post. Not sure why that didn't click that he just waited too long.

She actually lives in the Philippines lol. And it's not the first time, my cousin told me my second ex kissed with another guy there in the same country as well.
Yea, f*ck it, I don't even want a gf for the next years, got too many projects going on now.
Beside, I find it very hard to find girls here in Denmark, I am much more confident in Asia, here in my country I got social phobia. Two completely different worlds but I know what you mean. =)

The whole Asia thing seems to be working out well for you.

It's already been said but stop chasing girls outside of your country and meet some girls in Denmark. And "social phobia" doesn't turn off when you go to another country. If you're shy and lack confidence, you'll never get out of that rut by dating people you realistically can't have a close relationship with. Being an introvert that's comfortable in social situations takes work but it can be done.

 

[Pachimari]

But I don't know how much purpose there is to dating girls in Denmark, when I plan to move to Asia. I would rather not date anyone until I move there in some years.

And the social phobia (I have the actual diagnostic) does turn off in those situations in Asia, it totally does. Doesn't matter what situation or where I am, I can do anything.

I'm really not here to talk about my dating either, just needed to be sure that I made the right move and then I'm outta here hehe. =)

 

[CrushDance]

@ Crushdance,

You have entirely the wrong attitude regarding with what happened between you and that woman. The outcome was entirely your fault.

She was genuinely interested in you, and the many people that pointed that out here were right. You had a window of opportunity in which she showed her interest in you and you just brushed it off, saying how you were going to wait to wait until you got to know her first, and how if she was interested in you now she was going to be later. Myself and others pointed out how a bunch of horseshit that was. Your window of opportunity closed.

Then you decided to make a move, and I mentioned how at the moment you decided to make a move it was going to fail, based on the cognitive dissonance and plain inexperience you were exhibiting through your posts. Now, by blaming the woman on this, you are setting yourself back even more. It was your fault, take it like a man, and try to do better next time.

Really? Under a week and I miss my chance? It's in the past anyway.

 

[Burai]

cashman that was hilarious! But someone mentioned texting and waiting blah, the movie Swingers really made this an issue i think even though it isnt one. if you get a girls number and want to text or call then do it! waiting some arbitrary time limit is dumb, just go with it!

Exactly. If a girl likes you, she won't give a fuck when you text or call. My girlfriend and I were goofing around, texting each other whilst we were still together in the same room on our first date and I called her as soon as I got home and we talked for three hours. And then another two hours the next morning when we woke up.

Now I'm not saying that'll work for everyone, but if a girl ever dismissed you or dumped you because you text/call too soon or too much, then she was never truly interested and was looking for an excuse to get out. If she truly believes in the timescales like they are written in stone, then she's totally neurotic and not worth your time anyway.

I see a lot of people in this thread jumping through hoops trying to keep women interested and failing. To use the metaphor literally, what animal naturally jumps through hoops of it's own volition?

What I'm getting at is that you shouldn't have to work at dating or relationships. If it's going to work, it'll be a natural, easy chemistry and any effort you put in will be enjoyable, instantly rewarding and easy. What it can't be is an act of second-guessing, projecting something you aren't and tolerating stuff you can't really stand. Eventually the mask will slip and she'll see you for who you really are and you'll be dumped and back at square one anyway. And you won't be happy. Nobody enjoys work. The last thing you want to do is clock off after a hard day's work to come home and clock into yet more work.

We're all guilty of falling into that trap some time or another, particularly when pickings are slim. You just need to let go of the need to be with someone at all costs.

 

[John Rabbit]

Guys, I just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months. I'm a little sad right now, but it was kind of mutual. On paper, we were perfect for each other, but it just seemed like something was missing. She agreed. It hurts a lot, we both were really sad and would really miss each other. This is for the best, though, because even though we cared for each other, we didn't completely love each other. It became more of a chore, and less of a relationship.

Time to watch some Football.

damn GAF, you can be a cold-ass motherfucker sometimes; nobody responded to this.

sounds like you guys made the right move. i'd be weary of getting back together later however. this seems ripe for that exact kind of thing to happen. you'll both figure "man what WAS the problem last time?" and exhaust each other's patience even faster the 2nd go-round.

still sucks though. you'll take care of it.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Really? Under a week and I miss my chance? It's in the past anyway.

Girls are finnicky. You could be friendzoned, go out on a date with a girl, have a good time, and have like a five-minute interval where you can make your move and get out of the friendzone. Miss it and you're as good as done.

Of course, as stated before, you could make all the mistakes in the world and if a girl likes you and is stubborn, there is little wrong that you can do.

 

[-PXG-]

NSFW

Make sure your fridge is full of drinks and shit

 

[jet1911]

NSFW

Make sure your fridge is full of drinks and shit

I can't believe I watched it all. A little bit stupid but funny.

 

[MattJon]

Okay, I've started seeing this girl that I work with, we've had 4 dates so far, and we both like each other etc...

Should it always be me arranging the dates though? We're getting on well, but I'd really like it to be her turn to say "lets go out tomorrow night" instead of me always having to make the first move.

Not sure if it matters, but she got out of a bad relationship about a year ago, which I think affected her quite a bit (he was a giant ass that cheated on her etc...) I think it might of knocked her confidence.

 

[JimiNutz]

Okay, I've started seeing this girl that I work with, we've had 4 dates so far, and we both like each other etc...

Should it always be me arranging the dates though? We're getting on well, but I'd really like it to be her turn to say "lets go out tomorrow night" instead of me always having to make the first move.

Not sure if it matters, but she got out of a bad relationship about a year ago, which I think affected her quite a bit (he was a giant ass that cheated on her etc...) I think it might of knocked her confidence.

I'm of the opinion that relationships should be a two way thing and yes, she should be suggesting that you go on dates as well.
That being said, some women simply expect the man to do all of this stuff - some also really like it.
Then they get comfortable with you making all of the arrangements so don't ever really bother themselves.

It's only been 4 dates, so I wouldn't get too hung up on it at the moment, just enjoy the dates and hopefully she'll eventually start to initiate.

Also, sorry to rain on your parade, but dipping your nib in the office ink is a huge mistake IMO....
I hope it works out for you.

 

[enzo_gt]

NSFW

Make sure your fridge is full of drinks and shit

One of the best videos on YouTube, ever. Mr. Chi-City is also a mack. Go watch the vid of him giving Christmas cards to prostitutes.

 

[Waikis]

Ok, I'm absolutely hopeless with women, so I will need some quick advice from you love gurus.

I met this chick on a tour but I couldn't get close to her or start a conversation cause she is always with her parents and siblings.
I managed to track down her FB account and friend-requested her. It's been a week and she had not accepted it, hadnt been rejected either.

So, should I just move on? or do you guys think i shld send her a message?

 

[Chinner]

One of the best videos on YouTube, ever. Mr. Chi-City is also a mack. Go watch the vid of him giving Christmas cards to prostitutes.

link??

 

[Aurora]

Ok, I'm absolutely hopeless with women, so I will need some quick advice from you love gurus.

I met this chick on a tour but I couldn't get close to her or start a conversation cause she is always with her parents and siblings.
I managed to track down her FB account and friend-requested her. It's been a week and she had not accepted it, hadnt been rejected either.

So, should I just move on? or do you guys think i shld send her a message?

Sending her a message won't increase your chance of success with her, and can actually only lower it. You've already sent her a friend request. Until she responds to that, there's no point in sending her more stuff - it just seems desperate.

If she accepts though, then I'd send her a message and say something like it was cool to meet her at the tour, did she have fun, blah blah. And slowly slowly try and lead it into a meet up with her.

 

[greenry]

Ok, I'm absolutely hopeless with women, so I will need some quick advice from you love gurus.

I met this chick on a tour but I couldn't get close to her or start a conversation cause she is always with her parents and siblings.
I managed to track down her FB account and friend-requested her. It's been a week and she had not accepted it, hadnt been rejected either.

So, should I just move on? or do you guys think i shld send her a message?

Did you at least talk to her on the tour or did the proximity to her parents make her a mute? If you didn't speak to her at all, I think tracking her down on Facebook sounds pretty creepy. Next time hold your sack up and speak to the girl you are interested in regardless of who she is around.

 

[Waikis]

Did you at least talk to her on the tour or did the proximity to her parents make her a mute? If you didn't speak to her at all, I think tracking her down on Facebook sounds pretty creepy. Next time hold your sack up and speak to the girl you are interested in regardless of who she is around.

Yeah it does sound kinda creepy to me too. But I felt like I just HAD to give it a shot y'know.

And no, I didn't talk to her at all : /. Her parents were kinda old and sickly and she was holding their hands the whole time. I just didn't have the balls to go up to her and talk in front of her parents.

Ah well, I guess the best thing to do right now is just wait huh.

 

[Burai]

Ok, I'm absolutely hopeless with women, so I will need some quick advice from you love gurus.

I met this chick on a tour but I couldn't get close to her or start a conversation cause she is always with her parents and siblings.
I managed to track down her FB account and friend-requested her. It's been a week and she had not accepted it, hadnt been rejected either.

So, should I just move on? or do you guys think i shld send her a message?

When you say "met", but then follow up that you'd neither gotten close to nor spoken to her, I wonder exactly what definition of "met" you're using. How well do you actually know this girl? Is she even aware if your existence? Your name?

 

[Burai]

Yeah it does sound kinda creepy to me too. But I felt like I just HAD to give it a shot y'know.

And no, I didn't talk to her at all : /. Her parents were kinda old and sickly and she was holding their hands the whole time. I just didn't have the balls to go up to her and talk in front of her parents.

Ah well, I guess the best thing to do right now is just wait huh.

Right, yeah, that's probably a bit creepy. She probably doesn't even know who you are so she's ignored you.

You gotta talk to someone to have met them.

 

[Waikis]

Right, yeah, that's probably a bit creepy. She probably doesn't even know who you are so she's ignored you.

You gotta talk to someone to have met them.

thanks for the replies. I'm decent when I'm in a real life situation and I can spot the usual tell tale sign if someone is interested in me but I'm downright clueless with facebook stuff.

I thought it is a common thing for people to add each other in FB even if you don't know them. The game just got more fierce man.

 

[Burai]

thanks for the replies. I'm decent when I'm in a real life situation and I can spot the usual tell tale sign if someone is interested in me but I'm downright clueless with facebook stuff.

I thought it is a common thing for people to add each other in FB even if you don't know them. The game just got more fierce man.

There's usually some level of knowing. Friend of a friend, randoms you talked shit with for five minutes at a party, etc.

But not knowing them in any way at all... That's just creepy. Like, proper rape-alarm-going-off-in-her-head creepy.

Next time, you have to talk to someone. Even if it's just "hi". It's not always easy when there are friends and family around, but if she likes you, she'd ditch them pretty fast anyway. You just have to make the opportunities happen.

I was at a country fair a couple of years back and this girl was sat just over from us with her family and her dog. I had to initiate something so I left my spitroast pork sandwich within reach of the dog and... Instant opener. The dog started eating my sandwich, she apologised, offered to buy me another, we left her parents with the dog to get more food and ended up spending the rest of the day together. And then the next three months!

 

[enzo_gt]

link??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfkAm3s7Mec

Prostitute at 2:30. "I saw you getting your mouth ready and all that."

 

[jamesinclair]

NSFW

Make sure your fridge is full of drinks and shit

The kool aid thing is so true. Is there any way to open those things withOUT sending dangerous staining koolaid everywhere?

Also, those bottles get harder to find every year.

 

[demon]

I'm not sure why I'm asking this now, but....is it worth it to even bother with the dating game if you don't have the rest of your life in order, or if you don't have any social life? I just (still) feel like it would be too awkward or weird putting myself out there in the dating scene with so much else missing from my life (like what do I say when she asks when she gets to meet my friends?) But can anyone else speak from experience about this? I'm just tired of not having a girlfriend/companionship, but I don't want to end up just embarassing myself.

 

[Stridone]

I'm not sure why I'm asking this now, but....is it worth it to even bother with the dating game if you don't have the rest of your life in order, or if you don't have any social life? I just (still) feel like it would be too awkward or weird putting myself out there in the dating scene with so much else missing from my life (like what do I say when she asks when she gets to meet my friends?) But can anyone else speak from experience about this? I'm just tired of not having a girlfriend/companionship, but I don't want to end up just embarassing myself.

You don't attract women when you are not at least somewhat fulfilled in your life. Get your life together, then start thinking about women.

 

[jon bones]

I thought it is a common thing for people to add each other in FB even if you don't know them. The game just got more fierce man.

no

stop creepin

I'm not sure why I'm asking this now, but....is it worth it to even bother with the dating game if you don't have the rest of your life in order, or if you don't have any social life? I just (still) feel like it would be too awkward or weird putting myself out there in the dating scene with so much else missing from my life (like what do I say when she asks when she gets to meet my friends?) But can anyone else speak from experience about this? I'm just tired of not having a girlfriend/companionship, but I don't want to end up just embarassing myself.

it's important to be at a comfortable place in your life but don't use that an an excuse not to get out there. always feel happy but never satisfied - that'll keep you in good spirits without letting you get complacent with your self-improvement.

 

[jamesinclair]

I'm not sure why I'm asking this now, but....is it worth it to even bother with the dating game if you don't have the rest of your life in order, or if you don't have any social life? I just (still) feel like it would be too awkward or weird putting myself out there in the dating scene with so much else missing from my life (like what do I say when she asks when she gets to meet my friends?) But can anyone else speak from experience about this? I'm just tired of not having a girlfriend/companionship, but I don't want to end up just embarassing myself.

Start crafting an elaborate series of lies?

Sure, Id love if you met my best friend Maurice....but he's busy banging his hot model girlfriend.

 

[Burai]

I'm not sure why I'm asking this now, but....is it worth it to even bother with the dating game if you don't have the rest of your life in order, or if you don't have any social life? I just (still) feel like it would be too awkward or weird putting myself out there in the dating scene with so much else missing from my life (like what do I say when she asks when she gets to meet my friends?) But can anyone else speak from experience about this? I'm just tired of not having a girlfriend/companionship, but I don't want to end up just embarassing myself.

What exactly is missing from your life that you think you'll need to be comfortable dating? Social life isn't necessarily a problem as I find that women bring their own social circles that you can tap into and, unless it ends in complete disaster, you can probably still hang onto once it's over.

 

[demon]

What exactly is missing from your life that you think you'll need to be comfortable dating?

A lot of things, too many. I dunno. I forgot I don't belong in this thread, its just really been getting to me lately. nevermind.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

One of the best videos on YouTube, ever. Mr. Chi-City is also a mack. Go watch the vid of him giving Christmas cards to prostitutes.

My favorite was when he got courtside tickets to the Bulls and spent too much time trolling the opposing team and engaging the players on the Bulls.

That shit was gold.

EDIT: Here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCMLGdsNi6c

 

[johnny_park]

I say you "make a move" on the first date. That's how she knows it's a date and not "hanging out" as friends. If you're flirting and the vibe is good, escalating romance comes naturally from the get-go. You should be doing this all before even going on the first date, when you're first talking. If you wait till the third date to instill romance, that's pretty slow.

I'm going out with her again tomorrow (3rd date in a week). I will definitely go in for the kiss. I'm a little worried with me seeing her so much so soon that she will get sick of me. I really don't want to smother this girl. That has been a problem of mine in the past.

 

[DualShadow]

Online dating is pretty weird. I was chatting to this girl and we swapped Facebooks cause she wanted mine then chatted a little bit more then she just stopped replying lol.

So I'm guessing she didn't like something that she saw or some crap, not really worried just though it was strange. Onto the next girl.

 

[Waikis]

no

stop creepin

Such a blunder, I guess i should just move on huh?

 

[greenry]

Such a blunder, I guess i should just move on huh?

Of course, she has no idea who you are.

 

[Shawsie64]

So this weekend was pretty good, drank a bit too much Friday so was hungover when went to my friends band practice on Saturday and obviously not looking the best. His GF was there with her friend and there was a bit of competition around so didn't go for her at all.. she eventually came up to me and introduced herself to which her friend says 'about time' ha.. had a brief convo, couldn't be bothered putting in any effort.. added her on FB the next day.

I'm feeling positive for this year so far, got 4 on the go so far. 2 from dating site haven't met up with yet (one of which sounds like a fucking nut case haha) and 1 girl iv got kind of a casual thing going but think she wants more which im not down for.. shes not really relationship material for me.

 

[Mike Works]

Such a blunder, I guess i should just move on huh?

Next time, talk to the girl, no matter how many clammy elderly relatives are stuck onto her. Even just saying hi is better than nothing. What you did would be considered by many to be pretty creepy.

 

[hellclerk]

Got back from a date tonight, something off the cuff that sort of just sprang up since she was really close by. Thought it went pretty well. No major clicking going on, and she was bashful, sending a number of mixed signals, averting eyes, being quiet/shy. She's the first girl to actually show up on a date with me though, so I wasn't very experienced in how to break it down, despite plenty of experience and understanding in dealing with people in general. I tried asking a few times if she was alright, was pretty direct to see if she wasn't enjoying herself or if she was uncomfortable, but she said she was having fun and didn't give me any reason to think otherwise, since her body language correlated with her answer. She might just have been antsy.

She texted me after I left though, thanking me for the time and that I was a gentleman. We might meet up again tomorrow for a bit for a bite after she has a job interview. This time I'm thinking I'll make a more direct effort, be a bit more bold. Thoughts?

 

[DualShadow]

So this weekend was pretty good, drank a bit too much Friday so was hungover when went to my friends band practice on Saturday and obviously not looking the best. His GF was there with her friend and there was a bit of competition around so didn't go for her at all.. she eventually came up to me and introduced herself to which her friend says 'about time' ha.. had a brief convo, couldn't be bothered putting in any effort.. added her on FB the next day.

I'm feeling positive for this year so far, got 4 on the go so far. 2 from dating site haven't met up with yet (one of which sounds like a fucking nut case haha) and 1 girl iv got kind of a casual thing going but think she wants more which im not down for.. shes not really relationship material for me.

Props to you my man for recommending OasisActive for Aussies.

 

[Eggo]

Got back from a date tonight, something off the cuff that sort of just sprang up since she was really close by. Thought it went pretty well. No major clicking going on, and she was bashful, sending a number of mixed signals, averting eyes, being quiet/shy. She's the first girl to actually show up on a date with me though, so I wasn't very experienced in how to break it down, despite plenty of experience and understanding in dealing with people in general. I tried asking a few times if she was alright, was pretty direct to see if she wasn't enjoying herself or if she was uncomfortable, but she said she was having fun and didn't give me any reason to think otherwise, since her body language correlated with her answer. She might just have been antsy.

She texted me after I left though, thanking me for the time and that I was a gentleman. We might meet up again tomorrow for a bit for a bite after she has a job interview. This time I'm thinking I'll make a more direct effort, be a bit more bold. Thoughts?

I think if you two don't click and there isn't genuine chemistry, you shouldn't try to force something that's not there. Why not find someone who you do click with instead?

 

[Shawsie64]

Props to you my man for recommending OasisActive for Aussies.

No worries man, hows things going with you?

 

[PhoenixSFT]

Got back from a date tonight, something off the cuff that sort of just sprang up since she was really close by. Thought it went pretty well. No major clicking going on, and she was bashful, sending a number of mixed signals, averting eyes, being quiet/shy. She's the first girl to actually show up on a date with me though, so I wasn't very experienced in how to break it down, despite plenty of experience and understanding in dealing with people in general. I tried asking a few times if she was alright, was pretty direct to see if she wasn't enjoying herself or if she was uncomfortable, but she said she was having fun and didn't give me any reason to think otherwise, since her body language correlated with her answer. She might just have been antsy.

She texted me after I left though, thanking me for the time and that I was a gentleman. We might meet up again tomorrow for a bit for a bite after she has a job interview. This time I'm thinking I'll make a more direct effort, be a bit more bold. Thoughts?

Go for it.

 

[hellclerk]

I think if you two don't click and there isn't genuine chemistry, you shouldn't try to force something that's not there. Why not find someone who you do click with instead?

Because people are more complicated than what hands they show in a simple off the cuff dinner&movie? I'm asking for advice on where to go on a second pass, not whether or not I should bailout.gif just yet. I'll determine that once I have my sights straightened, it's never been zeroed.

 

[DualShadow]

No worries man, hows things going with you?

Was chatting to one chick and exchanged facebook's then she just stopped replying haha. This ever happen to anyone else?

Chatting to a few others now so can hopefully set something up.

I prefer the site a lot more to okcupid and seem to be getting better responses at Oasis Active.

 

[hellclerk]

Was chatting to one chick and exchanged facebook's then she just stopped replying haha. This ever happen to anyone else?

Yeah, that's pretty much par for the course with online dating, lol. I should send out some follow-up messages since classes are starting soon and some of these girls aren't locals.

 

[DualShadow]

Yeah, that's pretty much par for the course with online dating, lol. I should send out some follow-up messages since classes are starting soon and some of these girls aren't locals.

I'm not really that concerned that she stopped replying, I'm more curious as to why lol.

 

[hellclerk]

I'm not really that concerned that she stopped replying, I'm more curious as to why lol.

Most likely because she found someone more attractive to her, be them looks, money, interests, whatever.

 

[SRG01]

So, I'm obviously overthinking things when I'm talking to this girl. We obviously have chemistry, and we already have another date set up for next week. However, my mind keeps going back to the old saying, "Just because she's having a good time doesn't mean she actually likes you." Things look alright, but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't get my hopes up...

 

[soultron]

So, I'm obviously overthinking things when I'm talking to this girl. We obviously have chemistry, and we already have another date set up for next week. However, my mind keeps going back to the old saying, "Just because she's having a good time doesn't mean she actually likes you." Things look alright, but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't get my hopes up...

You're being insecure. Stop it.

You'll never truly know another person's thoughts (and don't let that scare you or mistrust someone without good reason) so stop worrying about it.

Try to focus on the fact that right now things are going well! If they go south, oh well, onto the next one! You'll live either way.