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[InfiniteNine]

I vaguely remember Sex Ed but the most memorable thing we kid was cut open lamb brains which my partner slapped me with. I thought that was pretty hilarious!

 

[Devolution]

I recall dissecting a pig and putting a condom on a wooden model. Nothing was banned as far as I remember, but high school is a helluva blur.

I had to sit out the fetal pig dissection. The process didn't gross me out but the damn formaldehyde was making me nauseous.

 

[H.Protagonist]

I had to sit out the fetal pig dissection. The process didn't gross me out but the damn formaldehyde was making me nauseous.

That smell still haunts me...

 

[Leeness]

No, I was taught abstinence only sex ed AND normal sex ed. We learned normal sex ed in high school.

Haha, maybe I should have been taught abstinence only sex ed as well and I would have turned out less crazy?

 

[InfiniteNine]

I ate my banana because I was hungry. D:

 

[Leeness]

How are you crazy?

Long story lol.

 

[Princess Viola]

Did someone say science?

I love science!

I remember in 8th grade, we were dissecting a shark and one of my group members squeezed the eye and the cornea (I think) came out.

Also our hands smelled like fish.

 

[Professor Beef]

I don't think I ever saw a single banana in any of my sex ed classes in middle school.

If it is, have you tried talking to a therapist about it?

That's the current plan!

 

[Emitan]

The only time I've ever touched a condom is at someone's 18th birthday party. We were using them as balloons.

 

[Leeness]

If it is, have you tried talking to a therapist about it?

That's the current plan!

Yep!

 

[Princess Viola]

Hold on. Bananas? Condoms?

What the Hell kind of sex-eds were you guys having? All we had were some shitty videos and the same fucking AIDs video since like 4th grade.

 

[Devolution]

At the sex ed thing at church camp they took out a cucumber and put a condom on it. I don't know if a penis the size of a cucumber excites me or scares me.

Length wise you mean?

 

[iirate]

Hold on. Bananas? Condoms?

What the Hell kind of sex-eds were you guys having? All we had were some shitty videos and the same fucking AIDs video since like 4th grade.

Yep, that's all we saw/did too.

 

[Devolution]

Length AND girth.

What kind of cucumber was it? The ones I've seen at the market don't seem that big girth wise (or my dudes have just been large that way too O_O).

 

[Devolution]

I don't know but it was really girthy.

q_q

Oh that's definitely a girthy one. The ones I see at the supermarket are longer and thinner like this.

But now that i'm googling, yeah cucumbers are pretty thick.

 

[Emitan]

I'm getting the vapors!

 

[Kisaya]

Got taught real sex-ed from middle school up. Got taught real science.

Yup, same.

We only had this one teacher in my high school who would always say "stay abstinent" after class to all of us :x

 

[Devolution]

I think the largest penis I've had was about the size of that girthy cucumber. It was a casual one night stand, and the worst sex I've ever had in my life.

Was he just bad or what? I've heard some dudes with big ones think that's enough.

 

[Emitan]

Yup, same.

We only had this one teacher in my high school who would always say "stay abstinent" after class to all of us :x

I was told that if unmarried people have sex they will 100% gets STDs. The class laughed at him.

 

[Devolution]

Seemed to me, he just thought putting it in was enough. More than that, he didn't get me relaxed enough to comfortably put it in. We could have also used more lube, hence the scared part.

Uh popular media and even porn is all about shoving it all in there super quick when that's not how it works.

 

[Devolution]

That's the worst part.

No, the worst part is when they just sit there and think that having a big penis equals instant results. It is frustrating.

Probably doesn't help that I've had the terrible misfortune of picking guys who use cock rings.

=/. I've gotten lucky on the lover front. Communication is just so important. Especially if you're petite like me.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

It is very frustrating to be with someone with a very big dick who thinks that should be enough to be the sex of your life.

 

[shanshan310]

We never had condom using lessons or anything. Mostly it was just diagrams and representation activities (like shaking hands wearing gloves). I think the only times we had actual demonstrations were in grade 5 when the teacher put a tampon in a glass of water (I still don't use tampons after seeing THAT one), and in grade 9 when they taught us how to properly measure standard drinks (the class was called "health" I think). Anyone teaching creationism or abstinence here would probably be laughed out of a job. Even the chaplain took a more "just wait for someone you care about" approach.

For science we dissected a bunch of cool stuff, most notably a pregnant rat.

For this reason I tend to like men with slightly smaller than average and average sized dick. Not that someone with a large penis can't deliver, but more often than not they tend to build up a complex over it rather than trying to deliver results.

I had one friend confide in me that he was having trouble holding down a girlfriend because they all freaked out about how big his penis was. I thought that was kind of funny, "No one will sleep with me, my penis is too wide!"

The only time I've ever touched a condom is at someone's 18th birthday party. We were using them as balloons.

I imagine the flavoured ones are pretty great to just chew on as well.

 

[Devolution]

For this reason I tend to like men with slightly smaller than average and average sized dick. Not that someone with a large penis can't deliver, but more often than not they tend to build up a complex over it rather than trying to deliver results.

I just keep pickin' the ones with big dicks. At least I can take 'em I guess. I can even get rough if I'm randy enough. People see his physical size and wonder how I'm not dead though.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Naw, flavored condoms taste like latex. There's nothing fun about them. Lesson learned from my first blowjob.

It is better than a normal condom, though.

But blowing someone with a condom sucks (uh) anyways.

 

[Devolution]

Doing oral with a condom seems pointless. I just wouldn't bother.

 

[Devolution]

Haha, speaking of. One time this guy and I were going at it, and he asked me to suck on it after he put it in like we were in some porno. Gross. A lot of guys need to get over their porn obsession and realize that stuff is just fantasy. I am not putting your dick in my mouth after it's been in there.

I'm assuming this was anal then? Because I've done a bit of suckin' after vajayjay stickin'.

 

[InfiniteNine]

Condoms while doing that seems like it'd taste gross. D: I like it without one too much.

 

[Devolution]

Yup it was anal. :x

I would have been all "do I look like Sasha Grey?"

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Meh. I don't think a2m is that big of a deal. I'm already making sure I'm 100% clean down there before anal anyways.

Granted I will never suggest it.

And by the way, I never got any sort of sex ed in school.

 

[Leeness]

Y'all this is fascinating.

Tell me more.

I learn about things I will never do. This world of normal human interaction is so intriguing to me.

 

[Devolution]

Have you ever watched porn with your bfs?

Oh yes. Last one we watched was some kagney linn karter vid.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Oh yes. Last one we watched was some kagney linn karter vid.

You can't go wrong with Kagney.

 

[shanshan310]

Doing oral with a condom seems pointless. I just wouldn't bother.

I can see it being useful for stds, or lubing it up with your mouth, but it seems like it would reduce the feeling a fair bit. Condoms in general are awful. I haven't used them in years.

Y'all this is fascinating.

Tell me more.

I learn about things I will never do. This world of normal human interaction is so intriguing to me.

I dunno if I'd call ass to mouth normal human interaction

 

[Devolution]

I can see it being useful for stds, or lubing it up with your mouth, but it seems like it would reduce the feeling a fair bit. Condoms in general are awful. I haven't used them in years.

I think I'm allergic to latex or something because it does not feel good in there when a condom is in use.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Condoms aren't that bad (good ones), although much worse than the real deal.

Now, for a blowjob? Awful shit. Never again.

 

[PJV3]

Can I say that this is one of the funniest and most varied pages I have stumbled across on neogaf. I mean in a good way.

I'm a bloke, so I will bugger off and leave you in peace.

 

[apricot]

I see I stopped by at a good time

 

[The Librarian]

devo how did you get a new tag

 

[shanshan310]

Have you ever watched porn with your bfs?

On occasion we will share cool things we find

devo how did you get a new tag

oh damn. Its even better than the last one.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

On occasion we will share cool things we find

Then how come I'm the only one from here on the pornthreads. I feel all alone.

Never watched it with someone, but this will change in the following weeks.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

No, I don't like gay porn. To quote many gaffers in the GTA San Andreas reveal thread, "I can't relate!"

 

[Inanna]

So sad right now, girlgaf. My cat Leela broke her hip really badly and I don't even know if I can afford the surgery. Why do cats have to be so damn curious about everything?

 

[Emitan]

Most lesbian porn sucks so I usually watch straight porn.

So sad right now, girlgaf. My cat Leela broke her hip really badly and I don't even know if I can afford the surgery. Why do cats have to be so damn curious about everything?

Oh no One of the reasons I'm conflicted about wanting a pet is things like this :< I hope she will be ok

 

[shanshan310]

I'm so sorry Inanna! I think you should try to get the surgery if you can! Money can be earned again.

Then how come I'm the only one from here on the pornthreads. I feel all alone.

Never watched it with someone, but this will change in the following weeks.

You're not just doing it because its another thing I've done but you haven't right?

You keep talking about these porn threads but I can never find them!

No, I don't like gay porn. To quote many gaffers in the GTA San Andreas reveal thread, "I can't relate!"

Suddenly my disinterest in gay porn makes sense. Ones with bi guys are okay though, they seem to have much more attractive actors than straight porn does.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

So sad right now, girlgaf. My cat Leela broke her hip really badly and I don't even know if I can afford the surgery. Why do cats have to be so damn curious about everything?

Best of lucks and much support.

There's not a whole lot of things worse than seeing your pets hurt.

You're not just doing it because its another thing I've done but you haven't right?

You keep talking about these porn threads but I can never find them!

Suddenly my disinterest in gay porn makes sense. Ones with bi guys are okay though, they seem to have much more attractive actors than straight porn does.

Shan, please. If I could disagree with you I'd be insulted by that.

And I'll make sure I link you when the next big one appears. I got so many names from the last one.

And yeah, some gay actors are fwine. But straight porn has its good guys, too. Manuel Ferrara is attractive and the best one at his job. Ramón Nomar is pretty great. James Deen is ok too. if you like Considering how little straight porn focuses on the guy as a whole (sadly), execution is more important than attractive, and there you have many others.

And yeah, I just don't care for gay porn. It's like straight porn when they give one of these super long blowjobs. I mean I can watch it and get ideas and stuff but that's all.

 

[mollipen]

So sad right now, girlgaf. My cat Leela broke her hip really badly and I don't even know if I can afford the surgery. Why do cats have to be so damn curious about everything?

Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's heartbreaking. After reading a few stories about bad things happening to cats on here lately, I've been wondering if I should look into pet insurance. (Never had it before, never needed it, but still.)

 

[Inanna]

Thanks everyone.

Shidoshi, you should definitely do that!! I didn't think I'd need to either, now I wish I had listened to my sister and gone with her cat's insurance company. Nobody has £500 laying around, especially right now when we are in a middle of a move. Just paid full months rent and deposit in advance. I dunno what happened to Leela and why she decided to go into the storage room, she's so mellow most of the time and likes to stay around us.

 

[Zoe]

Do they have something like Care Credit over there?

 

[iirate]

I can't be bothered to really watch porn at all anymore. It just takes too much work to find anything good.

So sad right now, girlgaf. My cat Leela broke her hip really badly and I don't even know if I can afford the surgery. Why do cats have to be so damn curious about everything?

I'm so sorry - sending good vibes her and your way.