Zoe
Member
This depends. Sometimes the only options for good daycare are super expensive and need to be pre-enrolled well in advance--sometimes before birth!
Not even talking about the same thing (the original subject) in some cases.
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GirlGAF |OT 2| Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Eve?
- Thread starter Devolution
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This depends. Sometimes the only options for good daycare are super expensive and need to be pre-enrolled well in advance--sometimes before birth!
Not even talking about the same thing (the original subject) in some cases.
Is it selfish that I don't want to live JUST to make my guy happy? How can anyone like the idea of it? Don't get me wrong, I love my guy and I love making him happy but I don't want it to be the sole purpose of my life. If you want to do it, go for it but I don't agree with it and might not respect you if that's what you think. Even when I was younger I didn't like the girls who only cared about getting a bf.
For me, working isn't just only about my career or money, its also about being independent. Also, you can't really say money isn't important. I don't want to rely on someone else for my financial needs, I want to spend MY money freely and save up when I need to instead of worrying about my husband's money or how much would I be "allowed" to spend...
I had a working mother and I turned out okay, but then again I think my mum was a super woman or something! She was always so full of energy even after coming home from a long shift. When I was born my mum took a maternity leave, when mum went back to work my father too time off to look after us. I think he was glad that mum was sharing the work load with him so he could relax at home with kids and spend some quality time with us. That's what my guy and I are going to do in the future when we have kids. I love him for that because not many guys would want to stay at home looking after the kids even if its for a few months.
EDIT: PS: I'm 100% okay with wanting to become a stay at home mum, but never for a guy! Thought I'd mention before people twist my words and say I am against women that want to stay at home for the sake of kids.
For me, working isn't just only about my career or money, its also about being independent. Also, you can't really say money isn't important. I don't want to rely on someone else for my financial needs, I want to spend MY money freely and save up when I need to instead of worrying about my husband's money or how much would I be "allowed" to spend...
I had a working mother and I turned out okay, but then again I think my mum was a super woman or something! She was always so full of energy even after coming home from a long shift. When I was born my mum took a maternity leave, when mum went back to work my father too time off to look after us. I think he was glad that mum was sharing the work load with him so he could relax at home with kids and spend some quality time with us. That's what my guy and I are going to do in the future when we have kids. I love him for that because not many guys would want to stay at home looking after the kids even if its for a few months.
EDIT: PS: I'm 100% okay with wanting to become a stay at home mum, but never for a guy! Thought I'd mention before people twist my words and say I am against women that want to stay at home for the sake of kids.
shanshan310
Member
No, I understand totally Inanna. I feel the same way.
That's another big problem really. My mum couldn't go back to work for a long time because day care/ preschool costs basically equaled what she would be earning.
That's another big problem really. My mum couldn't go back to work for a long time because day care/ preschool costs basically equaled what she would be earning.
I see what you mean, and it probably helps to specialise when it comes to things like bills (although if the person in charge isn't good with money the other person probably won't find out until its too late), but its also good to get some variety (eg. i cook, you wash up, then tomorrow we swap). Some chores are really monotonous. I guess though it probably helps to have a set of chores to each do, to avoid arguments and such.
BladeWorker
Member
All my life I was raised to believe that living for someone else's happiness was a fool's errand.
So no, I'm pretty sure it's not selfish, in and of itself, to want to have your own life and stand on your own two feet.
shanshan310
Member
I'm sure most men would want their wives to live that way too.
I sort of would, I admit. This is an impulse I ruthlessly suppress, but I'd also add that I'm not sure it's sexist, at least in my case. I don't think my desire comes from any traditional-marriage based impulse to have a subservient wife -- in fact, I tend to prefer successful, intellectually accomplished women -- but rather, from a general thought about how nice it would be to have someone whose job was basically to boost my ego. Absent any other concerns and from a completely self centered point of view, who wouldn't? I'd also like all goods and services to be given to me for free and everyone to bow when I walked in to the room.
It has an appeal, in very much the same way I can imagine it being appealing to live a life with little stress and responsibility as a "trophy" wife. But the cost of that appeal is far too great, for me. In both cases.
It's not selfish at all, also what gets me is why anyone would change. If your guy/gal loves and is attracted to you because of who you are now, why change? So you can stop being independent and your new purpose in life is to make sure only he/she is happy and giving them the pressure to support you. You would be a shell of your former self, and I'm sure he/she would feel it to.
I agree with Opiate a lot on this, I think set chores should be given to both and payment of bills, but bills are split according to income. If one partner has a higher yearly wage than another, than that should be taken into account and bills fairly divided. Others might not see it the same but I wouldn't want my guy to be a be broke one week just because I wanted us to have a faster download speed.
shanshan310
Member
It makes me incredibly sad that Disney has decided not to make anymore hand drawn animations 
There's something really nice about the artstyle that 3D models just can't capture.
There's something really nice about the artstyle that 3D models just can't capture.Femmeworth
Banned
I think Tangled did a good job of transitioning their style of animation to 3D. The Princess and the Frog was kind of lackluster, so I'm okay with them not doing more 2D.It makes me incredibly sad that Disney has decided not to make anymore hand drawn animations
Huh. Sleeping Beauty is on my Netflix queue. I'll probably detest it from a writing standpoint.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Of the "princess" movies this one was probably my favorite.
No-one would ever ATTEMPT to create something like Sleeping Beauty from a technical perspective for good reasons though!It makes me incredibly sad that Disney has decided not to make anymore hand drawn animations
cloudwalking
300chf ain't shit to me
sleeping beauty is great. as a kid i remember being completely mesmerized by it, especially Maleficent. i was her for halloween once, even :3
i definitely need to re-watch it. i heard they really screwed up the colours on the blu-ray release though, anyone have that version?
i definitely need to re-watch it. i heard they really screwed up the colours on the blu-ray release though, anyone have that version?
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Hmm...I need to get me some Disney blu-rays.
Also, do not step into the unhealthy internet mentalities thread if you value your sanity.
Also, do not step into the unhealthy internet mentalities thread if you value your sanity.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I gave up on anything post DVD of Disney cuz they redubbed the old movies and I can't get used to the new voices.
This isn't a clubhouse ever since the ban of hot men.
Am I still allowed in the clubhouse? Given recent events, I could use a bit of bonding.
*hugs tightly*
cloudwalking
300chf ain't shit to me
what? i did not know this. what a disappointment. i can't fathom why they would do such a thing unless the original recording was so bad that it couldn't be restored.
It makes me incredibly sad that Disney has decided not to make anymore hand drawn animations
I think they have a 2D film down the line! It was originally going to be a 2D animated movie of the book Mort, but I think that was scrapped. But I am pretty sure they're not entirely giving up yet.
Edit: Actually, yep! Still doing something! Musker and Clements were going to do Mort, but it was scrapped (rights were too troublesome) and they've moved onto another hand drawn film.
Disney has also talked about doing a Mickey feature film, and I can't imagine they'll do that in 3D. He may be in CGI on Tv, but just wouldn't be right to do a feature Mickey film in CGI...
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Am I still allowed in the clubhouse? Given recent events, I could use a bit of bonding.
What happened?
I'm sure we could manage a proper discussion of men with accompanying pictures. Why not amazing comics/fan art depictions of guys? I imagine what appeals there is going to be very different from what most guys would pick as great renderings of women in art. Well, some anyway.
Well, to make a long story short, I came out to my parents, they attempted to force me into surgery, and I managed to get out of it with some help. However, I'm now being turned away from my family's support and care, and it seems I'll be moving out of home for good.
Devolution
Member
SquiddyCracker
Banned
So feminism.
Anyone ever been called a feminazi?
Anyone ever been called a feminazi?
Devolution
Member
So many times.
Surgery? For what? Hope you're okay!
As a joke by a friend. Never seriously
PhoenixDark
Banned
If that's what he or she wants to do, who are you to "discourage" their choice? Also most stay at home moms are not "sacrificing" their education - they often graduate before marriage.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
I think the whole idea behind discouraging people from conforming to traditional gender roles is that it's a necessary evil for the sake of changing the wider gender stereotypes prevalent in society.
We're nowhere close to gender equality, so I can understand the way some people react when friends or strangers are conforming to roles that went hand-in-hand with gender inequality.
Femmeworth
Banned
Not out loud, but I'm sure some have thought it.
Devolution
Member
Regardless judging someone for their choices as if they're perpetuating inequality when they're just making a personal choice for themselves is the kind of shit that puts certain women at odds with the feminist movement. It does not help, it hinders.
Professor Beef
Banned
Same here. Shame about the second season's quality though.
PhoenixDark
Banned
Why are you referring to it as a gender role? There are plenty of stay at home dads who have put their work on hold to take care of the kids, and are married to women who make more money. Just as there is nothing wrong with that scenario, there is nothing wrong with a woman doing the same thing while her husband works.
I was raised by a stay at home mom, who not only did everything that role comes with but also homeschooled us. It would have made sense financially for her to work, considering my dad was in med school/residency/etc for awhile. Once my brothers and I were in highschool she started working at my dad's dental practice.
If someone feels they want to be a stay at home parent during their child's early development stages, there is nothing wrong with that - in fact I salute them. Traditionally the stay at home parent (usually the mother) stayed in that role forever. With the last 15-20 years we've seen more parents play that role until the child reaches middle school or high school, then they re-enter the work force.
If I got married and had a kid, I would let my wife decide what she wanted to do; or perhaps I could wind up in a situation where me staying home to raise our kid was the best decision, and I could work from home. I don't respect or appreciate the mindset of demeaning a woman who makes the decision to be a stay at home mother, or claims that she is somehow violating some bullshit feminist end game to change gender roles. Stop putting women in boxes
Devolution
Member
The energy spent deriding so called housewives who just made a choice for themselves could be of better use deriding conservatives who actually seek to limit our choices. But no let's shit on the wrong set of people.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
I'm personally not saying it's a valid argument, I'm more in devolution's and your camp of choice being more important than whether or not your choice conforms with a stereotype.
Seeing as we are still moving towards gender equality, I too doubt that stay at home mothers in any way are hindering the feminist movement.
PhoenixDark
Banned
Agreed. Choice and conversation are essential in most things, especially relationships.
Devolution
Member
And all I know is whatever the fuck some feminists think about staying home, they'll just have to shut the fuck up since taking care of my child is my first priority when I have one. I'm not going to sit around thinking "how can I do this in a proper 'feminist*' fashion", I'm going to make whatever choices benefit my child. If there were more societal improvements like subsidized day care or work schedules built around child rearing, then maybe we'd get somewhere. But people don't push for these things.
*feminism in this case not even holding to my own personal definition
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
My "authority" in discouraging such a choice applies to my personal life and to anybody who asks for my advice. I do believe there are some good reasons to have a parent always there for the first years of a kid's life but it comes with the risk of making their ability to leave the marriage much harder. And that is something you have to consider as a realist. If you are not so reliant on your partner for raising kids/bringing home the paycheck, then you will probably be more likely to focus on any marital problems before they become too big to solve.
It also makes more sense to wait until after the kids are grown up to get your degree. From an employment standpoint. That is what I mean by sacrificing your education, employers don't look at a 22 year old who just got their degree the same as they would a person who got their degree a decade ago. This is especially true for career paths that require post-graduate schooling.
Zoe
Member
Agreed, went steadily downhill after the first season, and I really hated Veronica by the end of the third season. I think they went too far in making her a bitch.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I'm sorry gurl but I don't understand.I'm sure we could manage a proper discussion of men with accompanying pictures. Why not amazing comics/fan art depictions of guys? I imagine what appeals there is going to be very different from what most guys would pick as great renderings of women in art. Well, some anyway.
You'll have to begin.
I make the most sexist jokes of everyone I know and nobody I talk to is stupid enough for me to start ultrafeminist mode, so they don't know that side of me.
I have a scholarship for working on the cineclub part of the university's feminist group.
So ... I guess that "a lot" don't quite pass the meaning of the answer
cloudwalking
300chf ain't shit to me
jesus... i wanted to try and take a break from the pill for a while (i've been on it for about 8 years). basically, worst decision i ever made. i haven't had this many zits since i was going through puberty! it's like middle school all over again up in my face. i have no idea how to deal with it because i am so used to never getting them
i was thinking of getting some pure tea tree oil to dab onto them, anyone have luck with that? or should i just give up and start the pill again? *cry*
i was thinking of getting some pure tea tree oil to dab onto them, anyone have luck with that? or should i just give up and start the pill again? *cry*
Femmeworth
Banned
Hark! A Vagrant <3
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Oh that's horrible. I tend to go off it every 6 months but thankfully never have any issues. My suggestion would be to drink lots of water to flush the skin. Also found pawpaw ointment works pretty well for pimples.jesus... i wanted to try and take a break from the pill for a while (i've been on it for about 8 years). basically, worst decision i ever made. i haven't had this many zits since i was going through puberty! it's like middle school all over again up in my face. i have no idea how to deal with it because i am so used to never getting them
i was thinking of getting some pure tea tree oil to dab onto them, anyone have luck with that? or should i just give up and start the pill again? *cry*
That derp face gets me every time :3
Deathmistress
Member
Hi GirlGaf, I so happen to JUST have found this thread. It's really nice to know there is a female community I can actually relate to.
Housewives who have made that decision for themselves deserve mad respect. My mom quit her QA engineer job to raise my brother and it looked gut-wrenchingly hard. I'd personally prefer to work.
Has anyone ever run into people who actively go out of their way to bash your relationship because you so happen to make more money/be the bread winner? It's so fucked up. I don't date for money.
Housewives who have made that decision for themselves deserve mad respect. My mom quit her QA engineer job to raise my brother and it looked gut-wrenchingly hard. I'd personally prefer to work.
Has anyone ever run into people who actively go out of their way to bash your relationship because you so happen to make more money/be the bread winner? It's so fucked up. I don't date for money.
Devolution
Member
So girlgaf I basically got my fall wardrobe and more for less than 20 bucks yesterday. Timedog's friend Jess took me to a Goodwill Outlet (basically the place where stuff that hasn't been distributed or doesn't sell ends up), it's called "the bins."
A lot of the stuff is unwashed and there are definitely some odors but if you can get past that kind of shit, like I did, you basically can buy clothes by the pound (89 cents if it's over 25 lbs). I got a couple t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, 2 skirts, 2 pairs of lounging around cotton pants and knit sweaters/overcoats. I'd say the value of everything is well over 150 since a lot of the stuff I picked up was barely worn or even new.
A lot of the stuff is unwashed and there are definitely some odors but if you can get past that kind of shit, like I did, you basically can buy clothes by the pound (89 cents if it's over 25 lbs). I got a couple t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, 2 skirts, 2 pairs of lounging around cotton pants and knit sweaters/overcoats. I'd say the value of everything is well over 150 since a lot of the stuff I picked up was barely worn or even new.
Almond
Member
jesus... i wanted to try and take a break from the pill for a while (i've been on it for about 8 years). basically, worst decision i ever made. i haven't had this many zits since i was going through puberty! it's like middle school all over again up in my face. i have no idea how to deal with it because i am so used to never getting them
i was thinking of getting some pure tea tree oil to dab onto them, anyone have luck with that? or should i just give up and start the pill again? *cry*
I have no experience with birth control, but I tried tea tree oil for the first time about a month ago and that's probably worked better than anything I've tried that was meant to treat breakouts. It either made the zit stop completely and go away, or made it significantly smaller. I was surprised how well it worked, but I'm sure it works different for everyone.
So girlgaf I basically got my fall wardrobe and more for less than 20 bucks yesterday. Timedog's friend Jess took me to a Goodwill Outlet (basically the place where stuff that hasn't been distributed or doesn't sell ends up), it's called "the bins."
A lot of the stuff is unwashed and there are definitely some odors but if you can get past that kind of shit, like I did, you basically can buy clothes by the pound (89 cents if it's over 25 lbs). I got a couple t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, 2 skirts, 2 pairs of lounging around cotton pants and knit sweaters/overcoats. I'd say the value of everything is well over 150 since a lot of the stuff I picked up was barely worn or even new.
Don't think there's anything like that around here, just regular thrift stores, but my mom found a bunch clothes someone threw out from a garage sale on the side of a road. I got a bunch of jeans, shorts and sweatshirts out of that. Some really nice stuff too. I don't know why you would throw all that out.
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