For the first time in months, I decided to play some multiplayer in Halo Reach (thank you free Gold weekend!). After a scant 30 minutes, I remembered why I quit playing this game in the first place.
So I put in the disc and am instantly bombarded with advertisements for their latest map pack. Something like $10 for three maps, effectively one-upping Activision in price-gauging consumers. I skip the ad and go into matchmaking, where again I'm told to buy the map pack. Jesus Christ, stop shoving this down my throat.
Finally, I'm able to start matchmaking. I select Team Slayer since I just want to mess around a bit, and I figure it would have the highest server population and fastest matchmaking. Boy, was I wrong. I'm sitting in matchmaking for literally about 30 seconds before it even finds a second player. It may not seem like a long time, but 30 seconds is an eternity when searching for games. After about a minute, the lobby is FINALLY fully populated. The players choose some bullshit gametype like Slayer DMRs or Slayer Pro (they all blend together for me, I have no idea what the difference is). After another 15 second countdown, I'm finally in the game.
BUT WAIT! I'm instantly greeted to a black screen with a list of players and the words "starting match" flashing. I give Bungie the benefit of the doubt and assume that it'll start shortly. After about a full minute or two of just sitting there, the game inexplicably ends and I'm sent to a post game lobby. What. The. Fuck.
I decide to give the game one more short. So far I've spent about 10 minutes dicking around without actually being able to join a match. After another god-awful wait time, the game matches me with a full lobby. Aside from me, everyone votes for a second round of voting. The 15 second timer ends, and a THIRD round of voting begins. After another 15 seconds, three people have already left the lobby, and since Bungie refuses to insert drop-in drop-out matchmaking in Halo, the game decides to put me on a team by myself versus four others. "Fuck this shit," I say, and dashboard.
Repeat one more time, only this time I'm able to start the match. Immediately I realize that the entire team is using armor lock, so I respond accordingly. After a few minutes, two enemies quit, followed quickly by a third. So now it's 1 versus 4 again, and now I have to wait out this match or risk being banned. Brilliant, Bungie. In order to find some semblance of fun I teabag and melee the dead enemy's body every chance I get, even when I didn't kill him.
What a giant waste of time. I spent about 30 minutes and only got to play one boring match. Take some lessons from COD, Bungie, and create a matchmaking system that operates faster than an hourglass.
