Having an aesthetic racial preference

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Madness said:
Eh, most people have a preference, even if they won't openly admit it. If I can be honest, I sort of dislike the "push" for interracial marriages/relationships to be the norm, as if it's something we should all strive to. I can and have dated outside my race, but I'm most likely going to marry within my own ethnic/religious group. Not only would it be better for me with regards to my immediate family, extended family, but it would be a way to maintain culture, tradition, values, language, food, etc.

I don't have any qualms with anyone else. Love is love, you can't help who you fall in love with, and no one has a right to tell you who you can and cannot love.
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I think the "push" is more of an effort to say, "Hey, this is perfectly normal," and not, "Hey, this is how it should be done."

There's still a strong stigma attached to mixed-race couples, especially white/black in the US.

BocoDragon said:
I can understand your nuance, but I'm still not seeing how it's wrong.

If you know what you like, and you see someone who checks your boxes, it doesn't seem abhorrent to go after them because they are your type.
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I'm pretty much in agreement with you. Using my awful scenario, I don't think the second person is a lesser person by virtue of the thought process. I guess there's a risk of danger, though, when a person isn't viewed as an equal human, but rather a sexual desire needing to be fulfilled.
 
Crumpet Trumpet said:
It's complicated, but I think the best thing that anyone can do is examine why they are/are not attracted to particular races, because the truth of the matter is that these feelings may stem from stereotypes which are really not applicable to entire races.

Like, it's so bizarre to me that anyone would make such wide-sweeping claims as "I'm not attracted to ____ people" or "_____ people are the most attractive" because people are just so different! Whenever people make claims like that, I just think they've been sheltered from experiencing the diversity of humanity, and it's sad.
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See IMO the reason why people find X attractive is because of sexual imprinting on them in their youth, and it's a fool's errand to decode it.

That imprinting might be guided by fair or unfair cultural circumstances... but once you like what you like, I don't think there's any avoiding it. You can't put affirmative action on who you find attractive.
 
I have a friend like this, he even calls all his asian girlfriends "ling", although they all have very common western names. he says ist short for "Darling"
well, whatever, I do think it's kinda odd and maybe a Little bit funny, but no harm there I guess.
personally, i wouldnt limit myself like that.
 
Moff said:
I have a friend like this, he even calls all his asian girlfriends "ling", although they all have very common western names. he says ist short for "Darling"
well, whatever, I do think it's kinda odd and maybe a Little bit funny, but no harm there I guess.
personally, i wouldnt limit myself like that.
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See, this sounds offensive to me.
 
Moff said:
I have a friend like this, he even calls all his asian girlfriends "ling", although they all have very common western names. he says ist short for "Darling"
well, whatever, I do think it's kinda odd and maybe a Little bit funny, but no harm there I guess.
personally, i wouldnt limit myself like that.
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k that sounds racist actually.
 
I wonder if people that are attracted to animals look for humans with animal like features. "I'm thirsting for some big ole flappy ears that can be turned inside out. I want a hairy, sandpaper tongue in my throat. Moist noses are the best."
 
Moff said:
I have a friend like this, he even calls all his asian girlfriends "ling", although they all have very common western names. he says ist short for "Darling"
well, whatever, I do think it's kinda odd and maybe a Little bit funny, but no harm there I guess.
personally, i wouldnt limit myself like that.
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...your friend's an ass.
 
Asian guys are exceptionally attractive to me. I don't find anything wrong with it.

Moff said:
I have a friend like this, he even calls all his asian girlfriends "ling", although they all have very common western names. he says ist short for "Darling"
well, whatever, I do think it's kinda odd and maybe a Little bit funny, but no harm there I guess.
personally, i wouldnt limit myself like that.
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...Yeah, see... that? That's messed up.
 
I don't really believe people who feel their ethnic or national preferences are so strong that they have to talk about them often are being honest with themselves when they insist on not 'fetishising' groups of people. I definitely don't believe it at all when it comes to white guys who say, out of nowhere, that they prefer Asian women. Although, guys who do say that are often so socially blunderous that they think it's a badge of honour anyway.

I think we should have some people getting real and saying how these topics are never 'I'm black and I like Canadian women' or 'I'm White and I'm bananas for Cuban and Irish women exclusively'. The white guy - asian woman thing is a kind of fetishistic cultural pathology that has risen up and it's squicked out, which we know, because it involves prioritising specific cultural and racial attributes that have very little to do with an individual. It's dehumanising and gross.

For what it's worth, I always hated where I grew up so I've always thought it meant I was somehow more successful and attractive if I could get with people from basically anywhere else. I know that's why I do that, it's an insecurity thing. It doesn't bother me too much though, so I don't try and hide it. Actually it's kinda flipped where in the back of my mind I'm thinking a little these days that the fact all my girlfriends have been different nationalities mean there's something wrong with me that only people who understand my exact cultural context can see. But I know I'm fuckin insane.
 
kirblar said:
I wish I hadn't forgotten to bookmark that tumblr story. Now would be the perfect time. :(

edit: Found it! http://the-unpopular-opinions.tumblr.com/post/78709502533/imagine-this-you-are-attracted-to-women-like-you

As long as you don't end up like this, OP, you'll be ok.
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I believe this is a copypasta that started on 4Chan. A guy I know from GameFAQs (he's also the one who started the infamous Skate 3 glitch videos) who occasionally mentions that he is only sexually attracted to dinosaurs claims he started it and I believe him, he's really serious about it. He's said he's spoken to psychologists and therapists about it, and it's not really something that the OP should worry about becoming.
 
potam said:
I'm pretty much in agreement with you. Using my awful scenario, I don't think the second person is a lesser person by virtue of the thought process. I guess there's a risk of danger, though, when a person isn't viewed as an equal human, but rather a sexual desire needing to be fulfilled.
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Hmmm... true. But that's a risk for humanity regardless of ethnic issues.
 
Is it weird that I'm more attracted to italian and spanish chicks for the cultural aspect in particular food? :x
 
GamerJM said:
Having a racial preference is fine, the issue is fetishisizing certain races, which is different entirely. Additionally there are some people who won't date certain races, which is downright wrong and racist.
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Yep you got it. OP is disgusting, but it's not his fault. His GF is the problem for allowing it.
 
Attraction, especially sexual attraction I think, is like the most arbitrary and partial thing. It's not rational and it's not particularly meaningful either. I think you just try not to be narrow, and as much for your own sake.
 
bishoptl said:
joBPYdS.gif
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*puts on tin foil*

I've always felt like these threads are traps. Do you work with different members in order to bring all the wackos out and thin the herd?
 
real_slime said:
I don't really believe people who feel their ethnic or national preferences are so strong that they have to talk about them often are being honest with themselves when they insist on not 'fetishising' groups of people. I definitely don't believe it at all when it comes to white guys who say, out of nowhere, that they prefer Asian women. Although, guys who do say that are often so socially blunderous that they think it's a badge of honour anyway.

For what it's worth, I always hated where I grew up so I've always thought it meant I was somehow more successful and attractive if I could get with people from basically anywhere else. I know that's why I do that, it's an insecurity thing. It doesn't bother me though, and I don't try and hide it. Actually it's kinda flipped where in the back of my mind I'm thinking a little these days that the fact all my girlfriends have been different nationalities mean there's something wrong with me that only people who understand my exact cultural context can see. But I know I'm fuckin insane.
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I can agree that it's creepy for people who brag about their preference in public like that.

But I don't think it's wrong to probe one's own honest preferences, or admit to private company how they feel, or even make a GAF thread exploring it.

Obviously due to my enthusiastic participation in this thread, I also have my preferences. But most people look at my dating record and bring it up to me! I'm not declaring it as a rule.
 
EloquentM said:
*puts on tin foil*

I've always felt like these threads are traps. Do you work with different members in order to bring all the wackos out and thin the herd?
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Haha. I made this thread purely based on my own thoughts and experiences, and I carefully worded the title as to not attract a certain implication of prejudice. All I want is to understand how other people feel about what this young dude named GrizzNKev is experiencing.
 
On its own, there's nothing wrong with it. If you start having weird, reductive, essentially racist reasons for your preference? Then yes, there's something wrong.

I've dated more Asian females than any other race, too. I've been accused of things. Usually it reveals a whole lot about the accuser's own prejudices.
 
GrizzNKev said:
Haha. I made this thread purely based on my own thoughts and experiences, and I carefully worded the title as to not attract a certain implication of prejudice. All I want is to understand how other people feel about what this young dude named GrizzNKev is experiencing.
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You know Asian isn't a race right?
 
I like girls that are at least 5'4" and have some T & A, so that pretty much rules out most East Asian girls. I prefer Black & White.
 
BocoDragon said:
I can agree that it's creepy for people who brag about their preference in public like that.

But I don't think it's wrong to probe one's own honest preferences, or admit to private company how they feel, or even make a GAF thread exploring it.

Obviously due to my enthusiastic participation in this thread, I also have my preferences. But most people look at my dating record and bring it up to me! I'm not declaring it as a rule.
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You also shouldn't have to feel bad about liking who or what you like. Don't let people bully you or make you feel bad about what make you happy.
 
Well since OP brought up Asian girls being the prettiest out of all other girls and being high on aesthetics, post a picture of your GF, Grizz. Let's see what GAF thinks.
 
ReturnOfTheRAT said:
You also shouldn't have to feel bad about liking who or what you like. Don't let people bully you or make you feel bad about what make you happy.
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*claps*

Well, I agree.

J. Man said:
Well since OP brought up Asian girls being the prettiest out of all other girls and being high on aesthetics, post a picture of your GF, Grizz. Let's see what GAF thinks.
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Would anyone's girlfriend survive this unless they were a supermodel? Scratch that... even the supermodel would be criticized to shreds.
 
Nothing wrong with it - it's the same as having a preference for blondes over brunettes. So long as you don't objectify what you prefer or denigrate what you don't then it's harmless.

I have no such preference myself. I think it's kind of weird to say "I only date members of 'x' race" and being completely closed off to anyone else, but if you have an aesthetic preference it's not something you can help.
 
I'm not sure [edit: that I have a preference]. I suppose I tend to notice more attractive women within certain races than others, but I probably couldn't pinpoint which one wins out in aggregate.

I will say that various asian women were an acquired taste, which is a phenomenon that didn't happen (or didn't have to happen) with other races. Even when I was taking interest in various aspects of Japanese culture, it took me a long time before I found their women attractive, so I wouldn't say it was due to some sort of negative perception of the people as a whole. Now I notice many are hot as hell. Same for Koreans and Chinese.
 
GrizzNKev said:
I'll describe this in the best way I can: the prettiest Asian female is, to me, prettier than the prettiest female of any other race or ethnicity. I've got that typical yellow fever. Japanese, Korean, Chinese, whatever. I just find myself more attracted to them.

I've talked to people who find this trait of mine to be off-putting, but I think it's pretty common and I believe that everyone has a preference. That's not to say that other girls aren't attractive to me - of course they are - but I still have my favorites.

Is there anything socially wrong with this? Does anyone else share these feelings?

Edit: Yes, I am a white male, and yes, I have an Asian girlfriend who is aware of this.
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Yep, creepy. The rest of the stuff he wrote is fine tho
 
Not much what you can do about that. But you can always try to see if you are mistaken..
There are soooo many different people that it's hard to believe that there won't be someone from another "race" for you.

But i have a clear preference too when it comes attraction.
 
Lindbergh said:
I can't say if racial preferences are right or wrong, but just don't be like these guys.
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The Asian guys/White girls that I've seen are cool as hell. The White guys/Asian girls are creepy. The latter usually has a really tall guy with a really short girl with a small frame. That's creepy to me. I'm a White guy BTW.
 
I'm just quoting what he said. That one line IS creepy. Nothing wrong with preference, but to say that a certain group is better than everything else is just too weird.
 
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