Having an aesthetic racial preference

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ishibear said:
I really don't care for the excuses here. Comparing the selection of a favorite soda to women (who come in all shapes, sizes, personalities, backgrounds, education, etc) to an object like soda or food (something you taste and enjoy) is disturbing.

Think about it for a moment.

Something you drank and liked the taste =/= meeting women from all parts of the world and every last one of them of a single race is the same game each time because guess what, they won't be.
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ishibear uhh you MIGHT be going a little overboard on that subject but uhh you're welcome to your opinion i guess?
 
BocoDragon said:
Many people will rush to the sociological argument of Asian submissiveness in media, but I don't think that has been a factor in Western media since my grandfather's generation (I did watch "My Geisha" from 1962.. and oh yes, it was once a factor)

Here's what I think. Men are programmed to find female youth attractive for better reproductive success. It's been suggested that Asians display high traits of neoteny, or a youthful look in adults. Plus I suppose the eyes are an indicator of something "different" and that makes them stand out, for those who want something a little different. These things percolate in a lot of non-Asian men's minds growing up and... voila.
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But blacks generally look younger than their age too?
 
real_slime said:
Yeah, looking a little more closely at the OP it just looks like another one of those kinda guys saying that kinda thing.

I'm sorry, since this probably does seem pretty judgmental, but I don't think such a preference truly can be defended with 'do what makes you happy' because I think it is only about superficial and generalised things that are stem from underlying personality problems that may be very mild or may be severe but ultimately have very little to do with appreciating another person for who they honestly are. Ultimately, I don't think it's a huge problem. These kinds of relationships seem harmless, I'm just trying to make the distinction between basic differentiation in physical attraction and a widespread pattern of white western men attributing some culturally imposed standard on Asian women due to their own personal problems. I've known of men who date young Asian women in patterns and it makes me very suspicious of how they think of people and I lose respect for them.
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Yes because clearly that's what the OP is doing. Clearly you're not making any assumptions or prejudices of your own. Let me guess, you're going to say he expects them to be cute and submissive, right?

He just likes some of the physical features associated with east Asian women. That's it. You're the one spreading stereotypes around, not him.
 
real_slime said:
I read your quote about how your current girlfriend is Asian, and that you're young. I'm beginning to think that might be what this is - I've found myself more attracted to women who look similar to who I'm dating before. When I was younger with my first girlfriend, it was just her and so I thought I had a 'type', and that I would always like that type. Later on I dated girls who looked nothing like her and I found that I was just attached to her back then. Now I really don't think in terms of types - although I think people do seem to have them. This Asian fixation you have might be related to this being your first girlfriend, though.

In the meantime, I wouldn't spread it around. A lot of people think badly of white guys who say they have a preference for Asian women. Me included, for some of the reasons I've mentioned. It's uh...look, it's kinda pathetic, man.
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That sounds more "race-obsessed" or "race-conscious" than someone just going after what they like.
 
real_slime said:
I read your quote about how your current girlfriend is Asian, and that you're young. I'm beginning to think that might be what this is - I've found myself more attracted to women who look similar to who I'm dating before. When I was younger with my first girlfriend, it was just her and so I thought I had a 'type', and that I would always like that type. Later on I dated girls who looked nothing like her and I found that I was just attached to her back then. Now I really don't think in terms of types - although I think people do seem to have them. This Asian fixation you have might be related to this being your first girlfriend, though.

In the meantime, I wouldn't spread it around. A lot of people think badly of white guys who say they have a preference for Asian women. Me included, for some of the reasons I've mentioned. It's uh...look, it's kinda pathetic, man.
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1. You make an interesting point, which you might be right about.
2. I don't spread it around. It's not common public knowledge.
3. I don't think having a preference is pathetic.

HappyBivouac said:
Yes because clearly that's what the OP is doing. Clearly you're not making any assumptions or prejudices of your own. Let me guess, you're going to say he expects them to be cute and submissive, right?

He likes some of the physical features associated with east Asian women. You're the one spreading stereotypes around, not him.
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I specifically am not attracted to the "kawaii" stereotype, and prefer women who are more dominant. I tend to be the submissive one. This topic was about appearance, not personality.
 
That creepywhiteguys tumblr is so hilarious and yet pretty disgusting at the same time. Bleh.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you aren't constantly shouting to the world "i have yellow fever", because that's getting into creepy territory.

Myself, I don't think I've really got any preferences like that. Hot people are hot, and that's it, although I used to have a thing for lighter-skin people, because I thought the difference between their pale skin tone and my darker one was hot.But I'm over that, I suppose? Or at least, I don't really think about it anymore. I'm attracted to a pretty wide range.
 
Finaika said:
But blacks generally look younger than their age too?
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"Black don't crack" right? But I don't think they have smaller physical sizes than the average.... they don't really display neoteny as much.

Hey, I'm sure there is some element of society that promotes or condones attraction to Asian women.... but my current running theory (could be wrong) is that it's less of a factor than Asian women's looks accidentally clicking with the very common male who wants a smaller, youthful-appearing female.
 
J. Man said:
That's it? Skin color and facial bone structure? Really? Wow. I thought it was just white men playing into Asian woman stereotypes of being submissive. And I thought the reason why Asian girls go for white men is to get out of "poverty" and get into a certain class.

Those are preferences, right? That's how they work, right? Oh Gaf and sarcasm.
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Hmm. Sounds like you're the one holding onto stereotypes.
 
GAF should implement a feature to auto-concat "I believe..." or "...to me" to all declarative sentences in these kinds of threads.
 
holy shi- i just found neogaf

tumblr_inline_myltfaWQDi1rfo9n0.png
 
BocoDragon said:
Many people will rush to the sociological argument of Asian submissiveness in media, but I don't think that has been a factor in Western media since my grandfather's generation (I did watch "My Geisha" from 1962.. and oh yes, it was once a factor)

Here's what I think. Men are programmed to find female youth attractive for better reproductive success. It's been suggested that Asians display high traits of neoteny, or a youthful look in adults. Plus I suppose the eyes are an indicator of something "different" and that makes them stand out, for those who want something a little different. These things percolate in a lot of non-Asian men's minds growing up and... voila.
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My Theory is this:

In biology class we were taught that we look for diversity at a genetic level so as to prevent diseases and promote desirable traits. That's one of the reasons why incest is not exactly a desirable trait in humans. SO by nature, we tend to look for a mate that's genetically different than us, but still "carry some similarities".

Where am i going with this? Well to a white person, the genetic diversity comes from marrying outside the family. BUT in a multicultural world such as ours, the new and unknown is an alluring aspect. But you don't want to stray too far from the pack.

now tell me what's the skin tone diff between an european and this?
japanese-1.jpg


noticeable differences, but skin tone and hair are still comparable.
 
Brakke said:
Literally everyone here has a firmer grasp on this concept than you do.
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You seem to have a very strong streak which abhors analogies that invoke comparisons between a taste in human mates and a taste in other arenas.

I get that. We don't want to reduce humans to less. Or as consumable objects. We don't want to de-humanize.

But to deny that attraction is analogous to other kinds of "taste" in our life, like music, food.... I dunno, it sounds like you are answering to a policeman in your head that makes certain kinds of analogies taboo in order to prevent racism or objectification. I appreciate the sentiment... but as an adult man with a free and thinking mind, I personally don't find such comparisons taboo in the slightest.
 
I can't find myself being locked into one race of girls. My mind can't handle that. Asian girls are cool, but too hyped within the past 10 years.

I've met and chilled with Latina, black, white, and mixed girls that are too hot. I forget Asian girls after awhile.
 
mesmerMAN said:
My Theory is this:

In biology class we were taught that we look for diversity at a genetic level so as to prevent diseases and promote desirable traits. That's one of the reasons why incest is not exactly a desirable trait in humans. SO by nature, we tend to look for a mate that's genetically different than us, but still "carry some similarities".

Where am i going with this? Well to a white person, the genetic diversity comes from marrying outside the family. BUT in a multicultural world such as ours, the new and unknown is an alluring aspect. But you don't want to stray too far from the pack.

now tell me what's the skin tone diff between an european and this?

noticeable differences, but skin tone and hair are still comparable.
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There definitely could be an element of that. Foreign, but not too foreign. Good point.
 
dante81 said:
Not prejudice. I think Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan look good, and I "wish" I saw more of that type of pairing.
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Why though? This is what I was getting at, when I spoke about the push to want interracial relationships as if they're inherently better or special to normal relationships. All relationships are the same.
 
BocoDragon said:
That sounds more "race-obsessed" or "race-conscious" than someone just going after what they like.
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I already explained why I don't think it's as simple as just going after what you like. There are reasons things people like things, and some are unhealthy. Being conscious of racial issues isn't a bad thing, either, and I'd say you've shown more signs of being obsessed with it since you were quite ready with your arguments as to why it's perfectly natural why men would prefer asian women as a whole on the last page - both of which I think are self-serving, since you've got a dog in this fight and don't seem willing to consider that you might have even a tiny problem, and nonsense. Like, "their eyes are different men like that"...come on, are you trying to defend this by saying 'They're so exotic!'?

But yeah, of course I've thought about it. I had an Asian girlfriend once, and I realised I felt self-conscious when I saw other couples that looked the same as us - and I saw alot - so I had to ask myself why I was feeling like that. Also, this conversation pops up all the time and it's generally the same each time. I've just never actually participated before, but I've thought it through.
 
GrizzNKev said:
I specifically am not attracted to the "kawaii" stereotype, and prefer women who are more dominant. I tend to be the submissive one. This topic was about appearance, not personality.
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I believe you. I'm kind of the same way. I prefer equality in relationships, really. Sometimes submissive, sometimes dominant, usually right in the middle.

But that accusation always comes up with this topic. Always. It's always "you're exotifying her and fetishizing her and you probably just want her to be your perfect submissive little asian lotus flower."

The point is that there are guys who do this, but then everyone has to go and be all irrational and make sweeping generalizations about any white male who has dated more than one Asian female.
 
HappyBivouac said:
I believe you. I'm kind of the same way. I prefer equality in relationships, really. Sometimes submissive, sometimes dominant, usually right in the middle.

But that accusation always comes up with this topic. Always. It's always "you're exotifying her and fetishizing her and you probably just want her to be your perfect submissive little asian lotus flower."

The point is that there are guys who do this, but then everyone has to go and be all irrational and make sweeping generalizations about any white male who has dated more than one Asian female.
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I don't think anybody's doing that. But there's a difference between "I think Asian girls are attractive," and "I think Asian girls are the prettiest girls. I got that typical yellow fever. GAF is there anything wrong with this?"
 
Some of these deflections are extremely transparent.

"Oh, you think there's some reason white guys go after asian women? Sounds kinda obsessive to me...all we're saying is we've done extensive research into neoteny and thought up all kinds of pseudoscientific conjecture about the genetics involved..."
 
HappyBivouac said:
I believe you. I'm kind of the same way. I prefer equality in relationships, really. Sometimes submissive, sometimes dominant, usually right in the middle.

But that accusation always comes up with this topic. Always. It's always "you're exotifying her and fetishizing her and you probably just want her to be your perfect submissive little asian lotus flower."

The point is that there are guys who do this, but then everyone has to go and be all irrational and make sweeping generalizations about any white male who has dated more than one Asian female.
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Yeah, I wasn't trying to argue with you, and my answer to your question was more directed at anyone who would make that assumption, and I feel like there are people in this thread who were.

royalan said:
I don't think anybody's doing that. But there's a difference between "I think Asian girls are attractive," and "I think Asian girls are the prettiest girls. I got that typical yellow fever. GAF is there anything wrong with this?"
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I think all types of girls are attractive. The point of this thread was to discuss preference, not who is and who isn't attractive. I already answered to the yellow fever comment. I'm not usually a very serious person, and have been jokingly accused of having yellow fever. Think nothing of it.

real_slime said:
Some of these deflections are extremely transparent.

"Oh, you think there's some reason white guys go after asian women? Sounds kinda obsessive to me...all we're saying is we've done extensive research into neoteny and thought up all kinds of pseudoscientific conjecture about the genetics involved..."
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You are awfully defensive yourself. I think that we are all shaped by our experiences. You don't have the same feelings as I do, and it's likely that it can be attributed both to your genetic disposition as well as your history with women. That doesn't mean that you have to accuse people who don't share your view as having some sort of issue or condition.
 
real_slime said:
I already explained why I don't think it's as simple as just going after what you like. There are reasons things people like things, and some are unhealthy. Being conscious of racial issues isn't a bad thing, either, and I'd say you've shown more signs of being obsessed with it since you were quite ready with your arguments as to why it's perfectly natural why men would prefer asian women as a whole on the last page - both of which I think are self-serving, since you've got a dog in this fight and don't seem willing to consider that you might have even a tiny problem, and nonsense. Like, "they're eyes are different men like that"...come on, are you trying to defend this by saying 'They're so exotic!'?

But yeah, of course I've thought about it. I had an Asian girlfriend once, and I realised I felt self-conscious when I saw other couples that looked the same as us - and I saw alot - so I had to ask myself why I was feeling like that. Also, this conversation pops up all the time and it's generally the same each time. I've just never actually participated before, but I've thought it through.
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So let's go ahead and make sweeping assumptions about people's unhealthy reasons for attraction? Yeah, sorry but you're not being terribly logical about this.

It's also just YOUR perception that other couples "looked the same as you." If I'm with a Chinese girl (I live in China) and I see another white/Chinese couple, I don't think they look just like us. That's a bit weird. Again, too many assumptions being made. People are a lot more than outward appearances show.
 
royalan said:
I don't think anybody's doing that. But there's a difference between "I think Asian girls are attractive," and "I think Asian girls are the prettiest girls. I got that typical yellow fever. GAF is there anything wrong with this?"
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His wording is pretty unfortunate. I'll give you that.
 
I don't know you guys do it, but I can't stick with Asian girls based on looks. The rest of the world's pussy is alluring.
 
royalan said:
I don't think anybody's doing that. But there's a difference between "I think Asian girls are attractive," and "I think Asian girls are the prettiest girls. I got that typical yellow fever. GAF is there anything wrong with this?"
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Yeah, I just wanted to clarify I'm not saying this either.

I'm also not trying to make the argument that asian women are thought of as more submissive because I don't think it is necessarily that simple at all. I think there are loads of reasons to do with the media and cultural imaginary of what various Asian countries are which give rise to this thing, which are as much to do with Western perceptions as anything real. Although in ParappaTheRappers case I think it might be that simple based on the focus of his discussion about it.
 
BocoDragon said:
You seem to have a very strong streak which abhors analogies that invoke comparisons between a taste in human mates and a taste in other arenas.

I get that. We don't want to reduce humans to less. Or as consumable objects. We don't want to de-humanize.

But to deny that attraction is analogous to other kinds of "taste" in our life, like music, food.... I dunno, it sounds like you are answering to a policeman in your head that makes certain kinds of analogies taboo in order to prevent racism or objectification. I appreciate the sentiment... but as an adult man with a free and thinking mind, I personally don't find such comparisons taboo in the slightest.
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Boy doubled down by talking about pissing on the bottle after using it up.

C'mon.

You seem to have a professorman in your head that makes talking down to people seem like a cool play. I wish I was a real growed up with a free mind.
 
Brakke said:
Boy doubled down by talking about pissing on the bottle after using it up.

C'mon.

You seem to have a professorman in your head that makes talking down to people seem like a cool play. I wish I was a real growed up with a free mind.
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pissing in the bottle
 
real_slime said:
I already explained why I don't think it's as simple as just going after what you like. There are reasons things people like things, and some are unhealthy. Being conscious of racial issues isn't a bad thing, either, and I'd say you've shown more signs of being obsessed with it since you were quite ready with your arguments as to why it's perfectly natural why men would prefer asian women as a whole on the last page - both of which I think are self-serving, since you've got a dog in this fight and don't seem willing to consider that you might have even a tiny problem, and nonsense. Like, "they're eyes are different men like that"...come on, are you trying to defend this by saying 'They're so exotic!'?

But yeah, of course I've thought about it. I had an Asian girlfriend once, and I realised I felt self-conscious when I saw other couples that looked the same as us - and I saw alot - so I had to ask myself why I was feeling like that. Also, this conversation pops up all the time and it's generally the same each time. I've just never actually participated before, but I've thought it through.
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Hey I'm confidant that I like what I like, and there are zero objectification/racism issues in dating the girls that I date, so of course I defend what I think is healthy and natural. I'll also defend the freedom to admit it. It's funny that when someone admits -ultra common - preferences, that all these issues come up ... about how it's somehow sinister! Based upon fetishization or a racist history. It's really not. But people are anti-racism police in general (for good reason, I'll add).

Now what I'd be more sympathetic to being concerned about, is the inverse... White men liking Asian women? I really think it's a quirk of biology (feel free to write a paper on how I'm wrong). But Asian women liking white men? A LOT of that is due to Western colonialism, western exports of media imagery, and soft power. I am very sympathetic to that issue.. but the inverse of white guys liking asian girls seems to me very un-driven by Big Power in this world. Right now I'm not concerned with it.

Brakke said:
Boy doubled down by talking about pissing on the bottle after using it up.

C'mon.

You seem to have a professorman in your head that makes talking down to people seem like a cool play. I wish I was a real growed up with a free mind.
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I'm really not trying to talk down to you in the slightest. I apologize if it came off that way.

I just mean I don't have any taboo about comparing taste in potential mates to other types of taste. "There's no accounting for taste".

real_slime said:
Some of these deflections are extremely transparent.

"Oh, you think there's some reason white guys go after asian women? Sounds kinda obsessive to me...all we're saying is we've done extensive research into neoteny and thought up all kinds of pseudoscientific conjecture about the genetics involved..."
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Really? Because it's actually quite unflattering to admit that it's a possibility that men are going after Asian women because they look young.

That's my honest scientist hat on.
My pseudo-scientist hat ;)
 
Nope. No poet. I like Asian girls, too. Like I wrote earlier in the thread, they're cool. But I've chilled with chicks from other races that are just hot. I don't see how an Asian girl can replicate that type of look.

Also, I'm not going to lock myself within one race. If I did that, I decreased my odds of hooking up.
 
J. Man said:
Nope. No poet. I like Asian girls, too. Like I wrote earlier in the thread, they're cool. But I've chilled with chicks from other races that are just hot. I don't see how an Asian girl can replicate that type of look.

Also, I'm not going to lock myself within one race. If I did that, I decreased my odds of hooking up.
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I never once implied a situation like that. I've never locked myself into anything. I've chased after girls who aren't Asian. All I'm saying is, I have a preference.
 
GrizzNKev said:
I never once implied a situation like that. I've never locked myself into anything. I've chased after girls who aren't Asian. All I'm saying is, I have a preference.
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Yeah I was gonna say... what man on earth "locked themselves" into anything?

Pretty sure if Grizz was single and a hot woman of any race was game, he'd be down!
 
Then what's the point of even voicing a "preference?"

With every post it seems more and more like OP doesn't even have one.
 
royalan said:
Then what's the point of even voicing a "preference?"

With every post it seems more and more like OP doesn't even have one.
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it could possibly be the fact that uberliberalGAF decided to nitpick every word he posted to paint him as some twisted asshole. dunno lol
 
royalan said:
Then what's the point of even voicing a "preference?"

With every post it seems more and more like OP doesn't even have one.
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I ... what.

I think it's because I've spent more time answering to ridiculous accusations than actually having a discussion about anything.
 
royalan said:
Then what's the point of even voicing a "preference?"

With every post it seems more and more like OP doesn't even have one.
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"I love FPS the most" doesn't mean you'd never try or love other genres of videogame.

oh shit don't make analogies between humans and other things humans have preferences about... shit shit shit!!
 
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