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I am getting sick of this, can't get a girl...
- Thread starter Black Deatha
- Start date
- Status
I'm 27 (turn 28 in May), and I didn't meet my current girlfriend until January of 2004. She's the most awesome person on the face of the planet, and we met by coincidence (happened to be at the same Lacuna Coil concert). Get out, do what you enjoy, have a good time (don't just go to a bar and pretend to have fun), and sooner or later some odd turn of events will eventually bring you face-to-face with the perfect soulmate. Whether you fuck it up after that is another issue.
Until you get around, say, the age of 30 you really don't have much of anything to worry about. After that, you might put a little thought into whether your personality or life style put a damper on your ability to meet other people, but even then, quite worrying about it, get out of the house and do something you enjoy.
Until you get around, say, the age of 30 you really don't have much of anything to worry about. After that, you might put a little thought into whether your personality or life style put a damper on your ability to meet other people, but even then, quite worrying about it, get out of the house and do something you enjoy.
Boogie:
Does she call you, or do you just communicate via email (which is odd imo if you've been out on dates already)? If she can't find 5 minutes to call you, and instead sends out this decidedly impersonal and abrupt email, then I'd say to steer clear and play it cool like others are saying.
One thing you should have an idea of is when her breaks are from classes (e.g., spring break); if she doesn't contact you then, just forget it. But do not sit around waiting for this chick until then. Doesn't seem like she's worth it from the email (for example, there was no curiosity/concern for you at all-- she didn't even ask how things are going on your end, which is something most considerate friends/dating folks would try to squeeze into even the shortest emails from my experience, even if it's largely a formality). You deserve better.
Does she call you, or do you just communicate via email (which is odd imo if you've been out on dates already)? If she can't find 5 minutes to call you, and instead sends out this decidedly impersonal and abrupt email, then I'd say to steer clear and play it cool like others are saying.
One thing you should have an idea of is when her breaks are from classes (e.g., spring break); if she doesn't contact you then, just forget it. But do not sit around waiting for this chick until then. Doesn't seem like she's worth it from the email (for example, there was no curiosity/concern for you at all-- she didn't even ask how things are going on your end, which is something most considerate friends/dating folks would try to squeeze into even the shortest emails from my experience, even if it's largely a formality). You deserve better.
Loki: No, she's never called me, except for trying to return a couple of my calls. We've mostly communicated via msn and e-mail when not together, since our calls were mostly an unsuccessful game of phone tag.
Interesting observation about her not asking how I was, didn't think about that. And that is strange since she is otherwise a very selfless and caring person (ie. she is in social work, volunteers at a hospital, values her friends and loved ones, etc.), but maybe you're right.
And her weeklong break starts this coming weekend.
I thought she's worth it, but I'm just confused right now.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Interesting observation about her not asking how I was, didn't think about that. And that is strange since she is otherwise a very selfless and caring person (ie. she is in social work, volunteers at a hospital, values her friends and loved ones, etc.), but maybe you're right.
And her weeklong break starts this coming weekend.
I thought she's worth it, but I'm just confused right now.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Were phone conversations (not lengthy ones, but just to shoot the shit) at some point a regular (i.e., once or twice per week) part of the relationship, or not? If they were and they've disappeared, it's obviously bad news. If they never were-- especially if you've been out on > 5 dates-- then that's just odd. I'm not sure of what your situation is with this girl, since I tend not to read all these dating threads (e.g., how did you meet, why is she away now, was the relationship serious enough prior to her leaving that the "distance" thing should've been discussed? I'm not sure...), but it would seem to me that she's giving you the cold shoulder. Then again, if it's always been like this, then A) you may have assumed too much about the "strength"/status of the relationship to begin with, or B) this may just be her way of doing things (everyone's different in that regard).
Considering the proximity of her week-long break, I'd suggest that you leave the communication where it is (you should just fire back a quick email wishing her well with her studies and stuff-- nothing too needy/personal; do not say something like "well, let me know when you wanna get together"), and see how she handles things over her break. If she doesn't try to make plans with you at least once of her own accord, cut your losses and move on. Nobody's that busy.
Then again, take everything I say with a grain of salt, because I'm likely very different as a person than you are (despite what you see as similarities, which I don't mind-- there are worse things than being like you, I'm sure
). I don't tolerate much from people, male or female. You personally may be more tolerant of what could be perceived as "mistreatment/neglect/misconduct" than I am, and it's up to you to find your limits--but you should also come to realize what you deserve as a person (this is where the people telling you to start respecting yourself more are not mistaken, though they sometimes get carried away ). That's the most important thing. I should also note, for purposes of full disclosure (since I wouldn't want you to heed my advice otherwise), that I have not had a serious GF in a long time, though for vastly different reasons than what's usually publicly lamented on these forums (i.e., I can get a girl ). So like I said, take it with a grain of salt; perhaps you'd be better off listening to others who have been in more serious relationships than I have. Yeah, I dunno-- maybe I'm just too considerate in that regard, but really all my friends and people I speak to/date also make it a point to at least briefly inquire as to the email recipient's status, or show some sort of concern, so it's not just me. It can be as brief as a "hope all's well on your end", or "so how are things holding up over there?", but it's usually present from my experience; perhaps others have had different experiences, however. I dunno...the email just seems too impersonal and distant in a way. Maybe it's just me.
Either way, if it was just this one email, that's one thing-- if these sorts of comments are absent from most/all of her correspondence, however, then that's strange imo.EDIT:
She's never asked for your home number despite the fact that she knew you wouldn't be at school for an extended period of time (> 2-3 weeks)? TSC TSC.
No, phone conversations never really played a part.
And the relationship hadn't gotten "serious". Hell, it was really still in the beginning stages, but the last time I actually did see her, things were going very well.
I think I will just fire off a quickish reply and then just leave the proverbial ball in her court.
And Irregardless of how qualified you think you are to give advice, I appreciate your perspective.
And the relationship hadn't gotten "serious". Hell, it was really still in the beginning stages, but the last time I actually did see her, things were going very well.
I think I will just fire off a quickish reply and then just leave the proverbial ball in her court.
And Irregardless of how qualified you think you are to give advice, I appreciate your perspective.
={<SMOKE>}=
Member
figuring women out can be a tough process. right now, i'm unsure if my being single is a reflection of me or the people that i'm around.
i'm currently in college right near where i grew up, so i've fallen back into the mix with everyone that's still around. the thing is, most of them are the type that drink or smoke weed on a daily basis. it's safe to say that they have substance abuse problems. none of them are doing too much with their lives either. i'm the only one that's going to graduate college it seems (at least in the near future).
i often feel like i don't exactly fit in with these people. sure, everybody likes and respects me and i enjoy their company, but it seems that i'm looking for something more out of life. maybe i'm just a different breed?
it does baffle me that i can't manage to sleep with any of these girls though. i seem to either mess shit up or end up in the friend category. this shit never happened to me before though. i used to get ass on a semi-regular basis and while away at another university, i had a decent amount of women who were interested in me. i've only slept with one women in the last two years and she is NOT attractive (i was drunk). it's fucking depressing!
the most difficult thing for me is not knowing whether it's me or not. i have some issues with my appearance and times like this do not help. i end up beating myself up, which doesn't do anyone any good. make no mistake though, i keep it together when in public. the baggage stays in the corner of my room...
i'm currently in college right near where i grew up, so i've fallen back into the mix with everyone that's still around. the thing is, most of them are the type that drink or smoke weed on a daily basis. it's safe to say that they have substance abuse problems. none of them are doing too much with their lives either. i'm the only one that's going to graduate college it seems (at least in the near future).
i often feel like i don't exactly fit in with these people. sure, everybody likes and respects me and i enjoy their company, but it seems that i'm looking for something more out of life. maybe i'm just a different breed?
it does baffle me that i can't manage to sleep with any of these girls though. i seem to either mess shit up or end up in the friend category. this shit never happened to me before though. i used to get ass on a semi-regular basis and while away at another university, i had a decent amount of women who were interested in me. i've only slept with one women in the last two years and she is NOT attractive (i was drunk). it's fucking depressing!
the most difficult thing for me is not knowing whether it's me or not. i have some issues with my appearance and times like this do not help. i end up beating myself up, which doesn't do anyone any good. make no mistake though, i keep it together when in public. the baggage stays in the corner of my room...
={<SMOKE>}=
Member
Boogie said:No, phone conversations never really played a part.
And the relationship hadn't gotten "serious". Hell, it was really still in the beginning stages, but the last time I actually did see her, things were going very well.
I think I will just fire off a quickish reply and then just leave the proverbial ball in her court.
And Irregardless of how qualified you think you are to give advice, I appreciate your perspective.
hate to do a double post, but boogie i'm in the same exact boat as you man. i started talking to this chick in december and things were going extremely well. we really seemed to click. i spent the night at her place one night and in the morning she was all freaked-out saying she couldn't get involved with anyone.
at that point, we decided we weren't going to talk anymore (i had already told her i don't do girl 'friends'). a week goes by and she calls me up to tell me about getting a new job (a thinly-veiled excuse to call me). we made plans and got together this past friday.
to make a long story short, we had a great time friday night, but she didn't want to invite me back to her place. said it would be 'crossing the line'. i'm out of there--don't have time to play games with this chick. i'm sure i'll get a few more calls from her here and there, but it's just not worth it. i think you should take the same road my friend. flip the script on 'em!
I'll help out the ol' Count of Concision a little bit:
You never have to wonder about how girls actually feel about you -- if they like you, they will make time to call you and see you. Any exception to this rule is caused by a MAJOR issue and is rectified as soon as the situation passes. She simply is not putting out enough effort to be genuine, in my opinion.
No matter what is really going on with her, the right thing to do is to go out with other people. If she's not interested, you're that much closer to meeting the next girl. If she IS interested, it will get her attention ASAP and remind her that she can't take you for granted. Either way, you win. So get out there and date, willya? We're all rooting for the end of the universe, y'know.
That's all you need to read.Loki said:
You never have to wonder about how girls actually feel about you -- if they like you, they will make time to call you and see you. Any exception to this rule is caused by a MAJOR issue and is rectified as soon as the situation passes. She simply is not putting out enough effort to be genuine, in my opinion.
No matter what is really going on with her, the right thing to do is to go out with other people. If she's not interested, you're that much closer to meeting the next girl. If she IS interested, it will get her attention ASAP and remind her that she can't take you for granted. Either way, you win. So get out there and date, willya? We're all rooting for the end of the universe, y'know.
={<SMOKE>}=
Member
Boogie said:um, no, I don't quite think we're in the same boat at all, actually
sure we are. we both got some chick trying to string us along...
BOOBS!!!
Now that I have your attention, I have some advice. Coming from someone who went from utter nerd, to accepted, to partygoer, to cool, to confident, and finally in a 2 year relationship and still going strong.... I've seen it all.
I've been rock bottom.. depressed.. hurt.. mangled.. I've felt that pain and I know it sucks.
But it's not that bad, there are many types of fixes for this situation, you just have to be creative; here's what worked for me.
1) Confidence. Drop pride and shame from your vocabulary. Shame and pride are useless. I repeat: USELESS. Confidence is worlds apart from those 2 worthless words.
1a)This means not being a wimp, speaking up, valuing your own opinion and using your knowledge wisely. Be able to laugh at yourself. Be able to take a woman's rejection and laugh your absolute ass off about fucking up. There are over 1 billion women on the planet. Fucking up with one is not the end of the world. Make note of your mistake next time, and play with it.
1b) In order to have and keep confidence, you have to be able to deflect those who are trying to crush it. One thing you have to realize is even most "players" are wimps. They make fun of shy people all the time. The trick to dealing with assholes is to think ahead and find out what makes them tick. There IS a way to spin things back at assholes and make them look bad without using a direct insult. This way you don't get verbally or physically assaulted, and you come out looking superior in minor and major confrontations. Use the brain you are gifted with to give yourself power.
2) Expand your network of friends. Meet people, anyone! Talk to anyone and everyone. Sit next to the cute girl, push yourself into a fun circle at a party, slip comments in during class, but make sure you make comments with confidence and not meek so your opinion is valued. People want to hear you, but they don't know it yet. And they definitely won't know it if they can't hear you, or if you sound like your opinion is worthless.
The single most important thing I can say about meeting new people is take down every single person's number like it's your job and you're selling something. I don't care if they're ugly/beautiful/annoying/stupid/smart/tall/short/whatever. It doesn't matter if you hang out with him/her once and it sucks. The reason you absolutely have to follow this rule is that you never know. You never know if that annoying 1-eyed crackhead has a super hot, sweet, never-goes-out gamer friend who is dying to meet you!
3) Mystery. Usually (not always but usually), it's in bad taste to give away your life story in 2 minutes, keep things light hearted and fun. If you observe someone who is good with women, you'll notice something. He usually keeps the topics on her instead of himself. Less is more. Unfortunately, mystery is tough because, important as it is, this one is highly dependent on both the man and woman in question. The right balance comes with experience.
4) Cardio and calisthenics. 15 minutes a day of cardio will brighten up your mood and make you think straighter, respond quicker, feel sexier. Calisthenics will tighten up your look. Don't ignore this one, it could easily be #1 on the list.
5) Dress better, takes showers.
6) Education is highly important. I don't mean videogame trivia. Try to get a basic understanding of everything so you're not left out in conversations. Remember to be able to laugh at yourself if you have no idea. Don't be afraid to say "What is that, I don't know!"
Important tip: If you're in a group (with her in it also) and someone makes fun of you for not knowing something, shrug them aside and tell em to enlighten you since they seem to be masters of the subject. This will assist in making you look in confident (#1).
7) Try things you've never tried before. I don't mean illegal or dangerous things, but live a little more on the edge. You only live once, so be openminded if you feel sheltered. There's always someone who fits in less than you do at the club ;-)
8) There will be people who resent the new image you are trying to create. These people are not your friends. Disassociate from them until they come around, and if they don't, drop em. As long as you stay strong in your morals, there's no reason for people to hate on you. Find high school pictures of Jennifer Garner and you'll quickly see what I'm talking about.
9) Try a new approach to things everyday!
EDIT:
Holy shit forgot the most important rules.
10) Move quick. Once you find out that you're interested in the girl you're speaking to, find out if she has a boyfriend that same day/evening. A direct question is perfectly fine. If she asks why, say you want to know because you'd like to grab coffee with her, study with her, go to a bar together, drink somewhere, whatever. If she ducks the question, tell her you're a pretty direct guy and value straight answers. If she still ducks it, tell her it was nice talkin to her and go back to whatever you were doing, as she's wasting your time.
11) Following 10, always have a Plan A and B, depending on what type of girl she is. Eventually you will get so good that you will be able to make up things on the fly just by looking at a girl's nonverbal language.
12) Also following 10, if a girl is vague about her intentions with you, DO NOT bring it up verbally. The last thing a woman wants to hear is "Do you like me?" or "Do you think I have a chance?" Let it flow. You really CAN tell when a girl likes you. When she's waivering, either you two aren't compatible, she had a bad day, her dog died, it doesn't matter, and frankly it's not your job to figure it out and wait around. Remember there are a billion other girls that have potential to be a helluva lot more compatible than that. If she seems like she's enjoying your time and you just can't figure out if she likes you, then try to kiss spontaneously. Don't secondguess yourself. Contrary to popular opinion, unless alcohol is involved, there is no "right time" to kiss. If she's not interested or waivering, then she's wasting your time. If a girl tells you she's been hurt before, don't wait around forever. Tell her she's sweet and all, but you're just looking to have fun and maybe meet a great girl in the process. Then tell her you had a great time and excuse yourself. If she's really interested, your directness will prompt her to come clean. A waivering confused girl (or one that plays mindgames) can easily rip your newfound confidence away. This is something you're not interested in! Remember, you want to start dating girls and having fun, not become a psychotherapist to a nympho who wants to have sex with everyone but you!
13) Listening is important. Make sure you listen to what she says and have direct answers.
14) Be spontaneous, most women like this.
Finally, as stupid as this sounds, watch the movie Hitch that just came out w/ Will Smith. Me and my girl saw it on Sunday, and I'll be damned if there wasn't some damned good advice in that flick.
Good luck all!
Now that I have your attention, I have some advice. Coming from someone who went from utter nerd, to accepted, to partygoer, to cool, to confident, and finally in a 2 year relationship and still going strong.... I've seen it all.
I've been rock bottom.. depressed.. hurt.. mangled.. I've felt that pain and I know it sucks.
But it's not that bad, there are many types of fixes for this situation, you just have to be creative; here's what worked for me.
1) Confidence. Drop pride and shame from your vocabulary. Shame and pride are useless. I repeat: USELESS. Confidence is worlds apart from those 2 worthless words.
1a)This means not being a wimp, speaking up, valuing your own opinion and using your knowledge wisely. Be able to laugh at yourself. Be able to take a woman's rejection and laugh your absolute ass off about fucking up. There are over 1 billion women on the planet. Fucking up with one is not the end of the world. Make note of your mistake next time, and play with it.
1b) In order to have and keep confidence, you have to be able to deflect those who are trying to crush it. One thing you have to realize is even most "players" are wimps. They make fun of shy people all the time. The trick to dealing with assholes is to think ahead and find out what makes them tick. There IS a way to spin things back at assholes and make them look bad without using a direct insult. This way you don't get verbally or physically assaulted, and you come out looking superior in minor and major confrontations. Use the brain you are gifted with to give yourself power.
2) Expand your network of friends. Meet people, anyone! Talk to anyone and everyone. Sit next to the cute girl, push yourself into a fun circle at a party, slip comments in during class, but make sure you make comments with confidence and not meek so your opinion is valued. People want to hear you, but they don't know it yet. And they definitely won't know it if they can't hear you, or if you sound like your opinion is worthless.
The single most important thing I can say about meeting new people is take down every single person's number like it's your job and you're selling something. I don't care if they're ugly/beautiful/annoying/stupid/smart/tall/short/whatever. It doesn't matter if you hang out with him/her once and it sucks. The reason you absolutely have to follow this rule is that you never know. You never know if that annoying 1-eyed crackhead has a super hot, sweet, never-goes-out gamer friend who is dying to meet you!
3) Mystery. Usually (not always but usually), it's in bad taste to give away your life story in 2 minutes, keep things light hearted and fun. If you observe someone who is good with women, you'll notice something. He usually keeps the topics on her instead of himself. Less is more. Unfortunately, mystery is tough because, important as it is, this one is highly dependent on both the man and woman in question. The right balance comes with experience.
4) Cardio and calisthenics. 15 minutes a day of cardio will brighten up your mood and make you think straighter, respond quicker, feel sexier. Calisthenics will tighten up your look. Don't ignore this one, it could easily be #1 on the list.
5) Dress better, takes showers.
6) Education is highly important. I don't mean videogame trivia. Try to get a basic understanding of everything so you're not left out in conversations. Remember to be able to laugh at yourself if you have no idea. Don't be afraid to say "What is that, I don't know!"
Important tip: If you're in a group (with her in it also) and someone makes fun of you for not knowing something, shrug them aside and tell em to enlighten you since they seem to be masters of the subject. This will assist in making you look in confident (#1).
7) Try things you've never tried before. I don't mean illegal or dangerous things, but live a little more on the edge. You only live once, so be openminded if you feel sheltered. There's always someone who fits in less than you do at the club ;-)
8) There will be people who resent the new image you are trying to create. These people are not your friends. Disassociate from them until they come around, and if they don't, drop em. As long as you stay strong in your morals, there's no reason for people to hate on you. Find high school pictures of Jennifer Garner and you'll quickly see what I'm talking about.
9) Try a new approach to things everyday!
EDIT:
Holy shit forgot the most important rules.
10) Move quick. Once you find out that you're interested in the girl you're speaking to, find out if she has a boyfriend that same day/evening. A direct question is perfectly fine. If she asks why, say you want to know because you'd like to grab coffee with her, study with her, go to a bar together, drink somewhere, whatever. If she ducks the question, tell her you're a pretty direct guy and value straight answers. If she still ducks it, tell her it was nice talkin to her and go back to whatever you were doing, as she's wasting your time.
11) Following 10, always have a Plan A and B, depending on what type of girl she is. Eventually you will get so good that you will be able to make up things on the fly just by looking at a girl's nonverbal language.
12) Also following 10, if a girl is vague about her intentions with you, DO NOT bring it up verbally. The last thing a woman wants to hear is "Do you like me?" or "Do you think I have a chance?" Let it flow. You really CAN tell when a girl likes you. When she's waivering, either you two aren't compatible, she had a bad day, her dog died, it doesn't matter, and frankly it's not your job to figure it out and wait around. Remember there are a billion other girls that have potential to be a helluva lot more compatible than that. If she seems like she's enjoying your time and you just can't figure out if she likes you, then try to kiss spontaneously. Don't secondguess yourself. Contrary to popular opinion, unless alcohol is involved, there is no "right time" to kiss. If she's not interested or waivering, then she's wasting your time. If a girl tells you she's been hurt before, don't wait around forever. Tell her she's sweet and all, but you're just looking to have fun and maybe meet a great girl in the process. Then tell her you had a great time and excuse yourself. If she's really interested, your directness will prompt her to come clean. A waivering confused girl (or one that plays mindgames) can easily rip your newfound confidence away. This is something you're not interested in! Remember, you want to start dating girls and having fun, not become a psychotherapist to a nympho who wants to have sex with everyone but you!
13) Listening is important. Make sure you listen to what she says and have direct answers.
14) Be spontaneous, most women like this.
Finally, as stupid as this sounds, watch the movie Hitch that just came out w/ Will Smith. Me and my girl saw it on Sunday, and I'll be damned if there wasn't some damned good advice in that flick.
Good luck all!
-jinx- said:I'll help out the ol' Count of Concision a little bit:
That's all you need to read.
You never have to wonder about how girls actually feel about you -- if they like you, they will make time to call you and see you. Any exception to this rule is caused by a MAJOR issue and is rectified as soon as the situation passes. She simply is not putting out enough effort to be genuine, in my opinion.
No matter what is really going on with her, the right thing to do is to go out with other people. If she's not interested, you're that much closer to meeting the next girl. If she IS interested, it will get her attention ASAP and remind her that she can't take you for granted. Either way, you win. So get out there and date, willya? We're all rooting for the end of the universe, y'know.
Okay, yeah, I'm thinking you guys are right on this one.
Maybe I've just had it stuck in my head to try to hold on to her since she's the only woman that I've gotten to be interested in me so far.
Boogie said:
Best course of action, though I would urge you again to not make it explicit by saying anything like, "well, if you ever wanna do something, call me". No.
Like -jinx- says (and that was an awesome summary of my post by him, as well ), just get out there and make your suave self available. Don't hang your head.And Irregardless of how qualified you think you are to give advice, I appreciate your perspective.
No problem.
Best of luck.Date of Lies
Banned
If I don't have a license and car by the age of 20 women will see that as a huge turn off? That's a first.
I'll think about it when I'm 20.
I'll think about it when I'm 20.
Date of Lies
Banned
hey I got a question,
while I'm always confident, I sometimes swap between being cockier about it, or act more humble about it (while staying very confident still). I get more reactions from the cockier persona but I sometimes get the feeling some girls get very interested when I'm just being quiet about it, (always looking at me, asking about my personal life when I don't want to talk about it, etc).
So the question is, being cold and cool vs. being active and daring, but both with C+F, of course.
while I'm always confident, I sometimes swap between being cockier about it, or act more humble about it (while staying very confident still). I get more reactions from the cockier persona but I sometimes get the feeling some girls get very interested when I'm just being quiet about it, (always looking at me, asking about my personal life when I don't want to talk about it, etc).
So the question is, being cold and cool vs. being active and daring, but both with C+F, of course.
evil solrac v3.0
Member
Loki said:Do you mean "vicious"? Because a viscous act of lovemaking would be pretty...messy.
ya havent experimented have you?
Date of Lies
Banned
gamers have all the right prerequisites to be good at THE game.Shouta said:
Trust.
Fresh Prince
Banned
It's obvious- you should now have sex with each other.
To all those guys who have posted advice along the lines of "Be nice and be yourself and chicks will approach you."
What. The. Fuck?
Any of you ever consider the FACT that the reason those chicks actually hit on you is probably because you naturally have good looks? Face it, chicks will NEVER hit on you just because you are a "nice" guy. It has NEVER worked. And it NEVER will. If a chick who is a complete stranger hits on you, it means that she thinks you are good-looking. There is nothing more to it.
For the rest of us average to ugly joes, we got to do more to earn our keep.
I'll admit it. I'm in college and have never been in a relationship before. That's probably due to the fact that I was pretty much a nerd/geek hybrid for most of my life. I have changed and learned A LOT in the last year though and I'm gradually seeing the results.
I believe that confidence is the key. You have to look confident. You have to talk confident. You have to BE confident. Know that you're good and that's all that matters. You're good enough to get that chick and NO chicks are EVER out of your league.
For those people who are not blessed with good looks, your image is extremely important as well. Dress well. Be well-groomed. Get a decent haircut. Do everything you possibly can to enhance your personal image. Short of plastic surgery (which I don't think is a good idea), do everything you possibly can to make yourself look good.
Oh, and kill off that damn desperation. Chicks can smell it from miles away and its probably the BIGGEST turnoff you can possibly have. Don't act needy and all that crap. Don't forget that you're born a male. Act like a man. A man only needs a chick for the sex and nothing else. Girls are the one who NEED the companionship and all that emotional crap. For us guys, it's only a bonus. It's NOT what we NEED. Guys only need sex and thank god that we're born with our own hands so we can actually wank off to keep the sex drive in check.
Chicks SHOULD be the ones who are desperate, not the other way round. Why? Because we need them for the sex and they need us for the companionship. For us, we can still wank off without them. For them, they're stuck without us.
What. The. Fuck?
Any of you ever consider the FACT that the reason those chicks actually hit on you is probably because you naturally have good looks? Face it, chicks will NEVER hit on you just because you are a "nice" guy. It has NEVER worked. And it NEVER will. If a chick who is a complete stranger hits on you, it means that she thinks you are good-looking. There is nothing more to it.
For the rest of us average to ugly joes, we got to do more to earn our keep.
I'll admit it. I'm in college and have never been in a relationship before. That's probably due to the fact that I was pretty much a nerd/geek hybrid for most of my life. I have changed and learned A LOT in the last year though and I'm gradually seeing the results.
I believe that confidence is the key. You have to look confident. You have to talk confident. You have to BE confident. Know that you're good and that's all that matters. You're good enough to get that chick and NO chicks are EVER out of your league.
For those people who are not blessed with good looks, your image is extremely important as well. Dress well. Be well-groomed. Get a decent haircut. Do everything you possibly can to enhance your personal image. Short of plastic surgery (which I don't think is a good idea), do everything you possibly can to make yourself look good.
Oh, and kill off that damn desperation. Chicks can smell it from miles away and its probably the BIGGEST turnoff you can possibly have. Don't act needy and all that crap. Don't forget that you're born a male. Act like a man. A man only needs a chick for the sex and nothing else. Girls are the one who NEED the companionship and all that emotional crap. For us guys, it's only a bonus. It's NOT what we NEED. Guys only need sex and thank god that we're born with our own hands so we can actually wank off to keep the sex drive in check.
Chicks SHOULD be the ones who are desperate, not the other way round. Why? Because we need them for the sex and they need us for the companionship. For us, we can still wank off without them. For them, they're stuck without us.
psycho_snake
I went to WAGs boutique and all I got was a sniff
People worry too mcuh about getting GF and thats probably your reason for not getting one. You're so desperate to get one that you try so hard and you end up making a fool of yourself. there are two important lessons that you kneed to know. i used to be like this, but Ive changed now. I sometimes get the women I want and sometimes I dont get the women i want.
be yourself:
just be yourself. I had this problem a while back. I could talk to a girl that I didnt like without any probelms, but when I wanted to talk to girl i was attracted to, I tried to be someone else and it never worked because I ended up sounding stupid. just act as yourself, say what you would normally say.
be confident:
You have to be confident with what you say, its important that you do that. If you have a lack of self confidence, you're probably going to find it difficult to talk to the women you like. be confident, confront them and just talk casually.
be yourself:
just be yourself. I had this problem a while back. I could talk to a girl that I didnt like without any probelms, but when I wanted to talk to girl i was attracted to, I tried to be someone else and it never worked because I ended up sounding stupid. just act as yourself, say what you would normally say.
be confident:
You have to be confident with what you say, its important that you do that. If you have a lack of self confidence, you're probably going to find it difficult to talk to the women you like. be confident, confront them and just talk casually.
It's not all about looks. I'm a very average looking guy and women. Give me the I'm interested sign. You can't expect the girl to come up and say I like you lets go have sex. Women on average are for more concerned about there own looks then the looks of there man. Have you guys never noticed the dudes on the arm of supermodels. those are some ugly buggers. If your crying about your looks. The problem is you give yourself an excuse not the fact that your ugly.
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Deleted member 1235
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Eric-GCA said:Just never think about girls ever again. You'd be suprised how much more happier I've become ever since I began using that philosophy.
Gay men and Eunuchs the world over agree with this post.
Fresh Prince
Banned
Asexuals too.catfish said:
But Eric has a point- Why worry constantly over it?
Well, this might be a stupid question, but do Eunuch's still have a desire for sex, or is it elimated upon casteration?
Im curious because I thought sexual desire was caused by chemicals in the brain, so im not really sure how desire could be elimated by casteration. Well, i guess it just boggles my mind, because i think it would be torture if you wanted sex, and couldnt do anything about it :lol
Im curious because I thought sexual desire was caused by chemicals in the brain, so im not really sure how desire could be elimated by casteration. Well, i guess it just boggles my mind, because i think it would be torture if you wanted sex, and couldnt do anything about it :lol
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Gonaria said:
See neutered dogs and their tendancy to no longer make the sex on your leg.
I imagine you might still want it cause you remember it, but the urge and need would largely be gone. I'm sure the means to perform would disappear as well
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Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
demon said:
yup having no dick and just balls = DAMNATION
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