I love when people don't think I'm a "Gamer" (Jinfash wins w/post 214)

Thank you mods for the title change.


Unfortunately I don't have any stories to share as I don't exactly look like someone who wouldn't play games. Not exactly a nerdy look, but not quite fit either.
 
Jinfash said:
I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.
Click to expand...

One thing is for sure. The title isn't lying. This post is the best thing I've read on the internet in months. Thank you for that.

It had an introduction to the character, a plot device, a build up, a plateau, and a twist at the end. I would have paid to watch a movie with the same story.
 
Jinfash said:
I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.
Click to expand...


ygs0d.gif
 
Jinfash´s post is the kind of post a thread like this deserves.

Btw to all the 4chan mentions... how the fuck do you browse that site ? A couple of days ago I was searching for a video, Google directed me to 4chan and I couldnt even open the link. I copied it to the nav bar of the browser and even then it wouldnt open. Then I had an even worse idea and opened the main page of the site. It.... it was a mess. Instructions needed D:
 
monocromo said:
Jinfash´s post is the kind of post a thread like this deserves.

Btw to all the 4chan mentions... how the fuck do you browse that site ? A couple of days ago I was searching for a video, Google directed me to 4chan and I couldnt even open the link. I copied it to the nav bar of the browser and even then it wouldnt open. Then I had an even worse idea and opened the main page of the site. It.... it was a mess. Instructions needed D:
Click to expand...

Threads on 4chan aren't archived so they get deleted if they're bumped off the final page
 
Jinfash said:
I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.
Click to expand...

I normally fucking hate it when a post gets quoted so many times, but this is an exception. Well done, man.
 
Jinfash said:
I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.
Click to expand...

VAwVM5A.gif
 
There's also that group of people who probably never learned how to perform a single command in a video game. That alone is priceless. You can be a scrub and feel like a pro.

I remember guys in the arcade would notoriously pick Eddy in Tekken 3. They'd just hammer the buttons until the match ended. They wouldn't even touch the joystick.
 
Jinfash, you've reached Lionel Mandrake status. It's been a while since I've read such a well written story here. bravo! ;)
 
Northeastmonk said:
There's also that group of people who probably never learned how to perform a single command in a video game. That alone is priceless. You can be a scrub and feel like a pro.
Click to expand...

http://www.cracked.com/blog/understanding-the-world-of-warcraft-using-super-mario-brothers/

That's why my system utilizes Super Mario Brothers, the universal video game language. For those of you unfamiliar with Mario Brothers, I urge you to leave, as I'm sure the other Communists will soon be wondering why you're not harvesting the collective's potatoes.

The first thing you should know is that most people playing World of Warcraft are terrible at video games, especially World of Warcraft. Every Nintendo owner has encountered the following scenario: You hand over the controller to a friend and then watch them clumsily murder Mario with the same bottomless pit until he stops coming back to life. World of Warcraft is an entire society of these people.
 
was that jinflash story written for this thread, or was it something that jinflash had written awhile ago and it was just an opportunity to post it? Because if it was written as a result of this thread, then I am very jealous of jinflash's ability to write a story so quickly. It's still a good story either way, but if that was something that was just whipped up on the spot then yeah that makes me feel like shit as somebody who would like to be a writer
 
Bomber Bob said:
I don't get Jinfash's post.

Is that supposed to be some kind of inside joke? :D
Click to expand...
It's the equivalent of 4chan green text stories. Just so long, detailed, and wtf-worthy. Like you KNOW they must have invested an hour coming up with that shit for no reason. So you just like, gotta respect how dumb/awesome it is.
 
Jinfash said:
I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into high school though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriage was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's guttural "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.
Click to expand...

Wow.

slow-clap-gif.gif
 
KoopaTheCasual said:
It's the equivalent of 4chan green text stories. Just so long, detailed, and wtf-worthy. Like you KNOW they must have invested an hour coming up with that shit for no reason. So you just like, gotta respect how dumb/awesome it is.
Click to expand...

Well it's just an awesome story with a great ending that actually caught me off guard and into fits of laughter. Gotta respect that :P Reminded me of the film Audition the way it caught me offguard.
 
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