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[The Lamp]

I'm crylaughing at work. Thanks Jinfash

 

[akira28]

I think it has surpassed this subtle beauty from akira28... but just barely.

haha nice. I actually did make a part 2 but Jinflash's post was top shelf. I've read and re-read it a few times now.

 

[bigbaldwolf86]

That post from Jinfash was incredible. I was so engaged in the story and the end killed me. Probably the best post I will read on Gaf this year

 

[FauX]

That post from Jinfash was incredible. I was so engaged in the story and the end killed me. Probably the best post I will read on Gaf this year

Why GAF tells stories that go terribly wrong at the end?! I was so hooked by the story and now I almost felt of my chair.

Damn you GAF.

 

[cm osi]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

 

[10k]

Why GAF tells stories that go terribly wrong at the end?! I was so hooked by the story and now I almost felt of my chair.

Damn you GAF.

Gaf.

The place that builds you up high with hype and stories just to make the fall harder and larger.

 

[Smiley90]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

too good.

 

[TnK]

what is this from?

 

[super-famicom]

HOLY SHIT AT POST 214.

That ending! Wow.

 

[RyougaSaotome]

Jinfash with the homerun.

 

[Mechazawa]

I don't know, I thought there was too much lead up on Jinfish's story. I was practically expecting some twist halfway through.

 

[Lefein]

And then post 214 happened.

 

[ColossalLazy]

Thread title delivered. Dat ending lmao.

 

[Grudy]

I salute you, Jinfash.

 

[Verano]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

 

[djtiesto]

I have the exact opposite problem, everyone assumes I'm a gamer and like computer stuff.

Same here. And then they instantly assume I want to talk about Halo/COD/big western game

They all seem genuinely shocked when I tell them about my music tastes/DJing. "Oh, I pictured you as a classic rock guy". Then again most other fans of deep house, progressive, and nu-disco tend to be kinda similar in demeanor to me so I dunno.

 

[Ken]

I didn't think Jinflash's post was that funny but I guess I might have been anticipating the twist already.

 

[enoki]

It's the equivalent of 4chan green text stories. Just so long, detailed, and wtf-worthy. Like you KNOW they must have invested an hour coming up with that shit for no reason. So you just like, gotta respect how dumb/awesome it is.

The phrase you're looking for is delicious pasta.
Green text without 100 sentence fragments laid out one line at a time.

 

[SkullHydra]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

Oh gosh...

 

[random25]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

What...in....the...actual...fuck...?

LOL! Well done, sir!

 

[KnightHero117]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

 

[Crocodile]

I'm so confused O_O ;_;

 

[Leafhopper]

That post is going to take awhile to top. That's all I can say.

 

[Cyrus_Saren]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

Fantastic. Updated thread title did not disappoint.

 

[robotrock]

I'm really glad I read that

 

[GameGuru59]

A few years ago in college I walked into a friend of a friend's apartment where Mario Kart Wii was being played four player. One of the guys playing says, "you can't see me in this Mario Kart bruh." I said I've been playing Mario Kart since it came out on the SNES. I told him I own every Mario Kart game except Wii. He asked me which controller I wanted. I said, "It doesn't matter." Destroyed his ass with the shitty tilt controls. It was my first, and only, time playing Mario Kart Wii.

 

[CaptainGyro]

I didn't think Jinflash's post was that funny but I guess I might have been anticipating the twist already.

I think it's getting really overhyped now but then again I could just be a jealous asshole.
I don't find it really funny either, but like I said in an earlier post I thought it was very well-written especially if it was just a post that jinflash came up with on the spot in this thread

 

[Permanently A]

.

to be honest I'm not sure why this post is being so lauded with the title change and everything

seems like your average 4chan copypasta

 

[Branduil]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

http://webmup.com/eSl85/vid.webm

 

[commedieu]

Now thats how you write a story everyone.

 

[Lumpy Onion]

snip]

Avast giving me malware warning on whatever this is.

 

[Branduil]

Avast giving me malware warning on whatever this is.

Hasn't given me problems before, but I'll change it.

 

[Persona7]

us gamers, huh

 

[KnightHero117]

Avast giving me malware warning on whatever this is.

what the fuck something on neogaf is trying to give me a virus and avast keeps on notifying me every time i go to a different page

it's always this link hxxp://a.pomf.se/nqogfo.gif (don't click it) but i cant find a file anywhere on my pc

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

us gamers, huh

the cake is a lie *snort*

 

[Lumpy Onion]

Hasn't given me problems before, but I'll change it.

Hey sorry I blamed you. It isn't your post causing it. It was the broken image a few posts back.

 

[Shady859]

Oh the feelings! I still remember the first time my daddy touched me....down there....


LOL @ 214

Glad OP changed the title.

 

[hwateber]

HOLY SHIT MY SIDES

I love how everyone quotes the full post. I ended up re-reading the locking lips part each time I scrolled down the page

 

[KimonoNoNo]

what is this from?

Hanayamata. It's kind of like a dancing K-On.

 

[TnK]

Hanayamata. It's kind of like a dancing K-On.

Oh. Maybe I will skip that then.

Also, the story was written in an odd and somewhat fake was almost 1/3rd through due to the method of writing. The whole things sounded off. I guess maybe that's why I really didn't find it funny like everyone else though.

 

[GeekyDad]

Makes coming to GAF every day worth it.

 

[T.O.P]

Makes coming to GAF every day worth it.

^

amazing stuff

 

[TheChaos0]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

Bravo.

This is you right?!

 

[fvng]

He's All That... with a twist!

Some people aren't intimidated by a "large" body of text, you did no one any favors

 

[UrbanRats]

...

Was expecting it and still got me, good job.

 

[Hyun Sai]

...

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

I read 'anime' at first glance. I think either works.

it was a Mandrake reference

 

[Stiflers Mom]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

Don't know what to answer... This is awesome....

 

[Sir Blaming]

I was poor growing up and always wore ugly glasses, so I didn't have the luxury to buy new clothes or anything nice for myself. I looked like a total slob who never got invited to parties, gaming or otherwise. It doesn't help that I had a speech impediment too, so you can only imagine how I awkward it was.

Once I got into highschool though I started working at the library. A perfect place for a bookworm with a lot of free time and so much to prove. I started reading about speaking skills, self-esteem, dance history, and even beauty magazines. But that wasn't enough since I still had no friends or anyone to invite to the quickly approaching prom.

As it got closer, and still no luck or a break in sight, one of my favorite uncles stopped at our place unexpectedly. Apparently he was in the midst of marital problems and his marriege was falling apart, so he asked if he could stay us for a while. My parents welcomed him without hesitation.

He was the only person I trusted or opened up to, and he could see when something is wrong with me from a mile away. So he asked. And I told him, not even realizing how my tears were running down, glistening under moonlight. Afterwards he gently smiled and told me "come tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The next morning he took me out shopping. I bought articles of clothing I've only seen in magazine pages. Stuff I wouldn't be able to afford for another decade or two. We finished our spree by stopping at a salon where I had one of those fancy $60 haircuts. Even the stylist was surprised by the time she was done "son, you haven't done yourself any favors all those years. Especially to your beautiful eyes!" My uncle chuckled and said "you correctly guessed our next stop!" Which I later realized was an optics store where we picked contacts. My very first!

And just when I thought my awesome day was over it got even better— After everyone in our home went to bed, my uncle insisted we work on the last piece of puzzle: my dance moves! We practiced for probably hours, but felt like minutes!

Next morning; the big day. I'll skip over the little details to the important part— my uncle dropping me at prom on his brand new Jaguar... Looks of awe everywhere. I went in, seemingly unrecognized. I stop at the front table and put in my name for registration. "WHAT?!" was the only intelligible thing I heard from students at the table, followed by garbled sounds. I walk into the hall to a crowded room of HS kids and awkward dancing. Now, I'm not religious, but I could swear the crowd parted like the red sea in sight of Moses.

I walked to center of the hall to gasps and "WHO DAT?", "NO WAY!", "FOR REAL?!" and "I REGRET EVERYTHING!" But that was only the beginning— as soon as the music resumed I broke my new dance moves... Styles that were contemporary, while others long forgotten save for history books. Everyone's jaw dropped. Girls started flocking. Thunderous cheers followed the silence that only slides of my $600 shoes interrupted.

Everyone wanted to dance with me. To be around me. To be ME! It should have felt like heaven, but I felt something was still sorely missing. I didn't feel as fulfilled as I thought I would. This big moment can only be perfect if it was spent with someone meaningful... Someone who cared all along. Who saw the diamond in the rough.

I look around looking for that someone, and there he was: my dear uncle leaning next to the entrance with the biggest smile drawn on his face. I wave to him; he waves back. I invite him in; he approaches. We hugged. And almost unconsciously started dancing together. He stops me for a second... Looks into my eyes, and with all the passions he could muster, locks my lips like I've never felt before. The world went silent for a few second... Only to be broken by my uncle's gutteral "EUGH!" as he received a swift baton strike to neck by school security, who dragged him out to the arriving police units.

It turns out he wasn't actually on a break from his marriage, but in fact trying to evade multiple molestation charges.

shut up. shut up.
please /thread now.

 

[krYlon]

I knew what to expect as soon as the "favourite uncle" entered the story. Still an entertaining read though.