the size of the grind has a lot to do with it, along with the pepper color (white, green, or black).
Most of what you'll get at a restaurant (when the waiter grinds it onto your salad, for instance) will be a relatively course grind, which I happen to prefer, and the stuff you get in a pepper shaker at a regular joint is pretty finely ground. Most grinders have adjustments for the coarseness, so mess around with it.
For color, you usually get black at restaurants, but mess around with green and white (they're usually more expensive though). They have different flavors as they're picked at differing stages of ripeness, I happen to be a huge white pepper fan.