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I've been denied all the best ultra sex

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M

Megafoo Chavez

I love EGM
Uhm help sorta? I'm sort of in a bind with a female. Over the past couple weeks I have been becoming more and more involved with this certain girl. She is devoutly religious yet we have progressed to that big ol situation of JUST HAVING SEX. Now don't get me wrong, I would love introduce her to the wonderful world of my naked body thrusting into hers...BUT...wouldn't this be wrong of me to do to this innocent virgin girl who really deserves her sexual world to be one of love and passion. I really do like this chick, but she has been ragging on me about religion (I could give two fat shits about practicing a religion) so I think that in the end it will never work out, which makes it hard for me to get to that next stage of feelings, which in turn makes it hard for me to have sex with her because of that heart and morals thing that still reeks inside me.

So I guess my options are to try to make something of this and work on developing a relationship(I suppose i could go to church with her sometimes...) or be a totally fucking asshole...I mean the choice is obvious right? She is hot and hot and wants me. So I would be stupid to throw it away. A little gaf advice couldn't hurt.
 
M

Mason

Member
Ok, so she'll let you fuck her up the ass but not in the vagina? I'm seriously confused here. I'm already drunk and too lazy to read it again, but it sounds like what I would do is butter her up and go to church and shit and eventually if you can convince her that you "love" her, you can bang her right. Of course, if you have morals or a conscience or whatever, just end it now and find someone else.
 
B

Boomer

Member
I was in that situation once, except I actually did share the same religion as her. But ultimately my being male overcame any moral qualms I had.. so eventually I FHUTA. I don't regret it at all, she ripped my heart out and ate it.
 
way more

way more

Member
shoplifter said:
Let me get this straight...

You're FHUTAing, yet you/she think that ain't sex?

(or am i misunderstanding you)
Click to expand...

Shouldn't it be "FingHUTA."

Just correcting grammar, you know me.
 
S

ShadowRed

Banned
shoplifter said:
Let me get this straight...

You're FHUTAing, yet you/she think that ain't sex?

(or am i misunderstanding you)
Click to expand...




Yeah a lot of religious girls will do everything but normal sex because they have rationalized that it isn't sex and thus not a sin to do it.


PS Oh I agree with the rest of the people FHUTA. :)
 
shoplifter

shoplifter

Member
^^^ I know, that's what I was trying to make sure was the case or not. It makes no goddamned sense though.

mac said:
Shouldn't it be "FingHUTA."

Just correcting grammar, you know me.
Click to expand...

No, FHUTA is now its own term. It has both noun and verb forms.
 
M

Megafoo Chavez

I love EGM
*smacks his head* I should have never mentioned the word anal. thats like throwing fresh meat to the lions

anyways, I did ask her if religion will dictate where this relationship goes. She did not have an answer for me....then she proceeded to shove her tongue down my throat. Also she is 19 and i'm 23....So I figured she'll grow out of this god is my best friend stuff as soon as she gets some partying under her belt :)
 
DCX

DCX

DCX
Megafoo Chavez said:
i'm not really doing her up the ass, just some good old fashion boring sex. the anal was just a joke :)
Click to expand...
Doesn't matter, you FHUTA she still maintains her "purity" for "the one", win-win situation...

DCX
 
B

Boomer

Member
Lambtron said:
Uhhhh... technical virginity? The behymen != the hymen, boys.
Click to expand...

Surely this is a joke site:

TechnicalVirgin.com said:
At TechnicalVirgin.com, we know that today's teens are faced with difficult choices more than ever before. The spectre of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted teen pregnancy looms large in the social lives of all modern adolescents.

Teenagers today need new choices that reflect the reality of their complex lives. Abstinence is often preached by the self-righteous right-wing pundits, but that's simply not a realistic approach to teen sexuality. To hear the fundamentalist right, you'd think even masturbation would lead to the end of civilization.

But there is a way for youths to enjoy rich and satisfying sexual intimacy without risking unwanted pregnancy — ANAL SEX! The anus, tighter than any vagina and tinged with the thrill of the taboo, is the perfect venue for modern teen lust.

Of course, the safest way for teens to avoid unwanted pregnancy while satisfying their carnal needs is to limit themselves to homoerotic encounters until they are ready for procreation. But many boys and girls are uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex encounters. Anal sex, however, can be fun for both sexes, and thanks to modern improvements in strap-on sex tools, girls can enjoy being in control of their own anal encounters.

So, teens, the next time you strip down for sex, remember the TechnicalVirgin motto — "Everything Butt!"
Click to expand...

Edit: After reviewing the "Creative Date Ideas" section, this is indeed a joke.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
No, it's up to you to convince her that while religion may be true, which it's not but one step at a time, God never intended for people to not have sex and thats just one of the rules that old school stupid men invented because they were scared of sexual chicks.

Bible writers = tiny cock. Fact.
 
D

Doth Togo

Member
Megafoo Chavez said:
Uhm help sorta? I'm sort of in a bind with a female. Over the past couple weeks I have been becoming more and more involved with this certain girl. She is devoutly religious yet we have progressed to that big ol situation of JUST HAVING SEX. Now don't get me wrong, I would love introduce her to the wonderful world of my naked body thrusting into hers...BUT...wouldn't this be wrong of me to do to this innocent virgin girl who really deserves her sexual world to be one of love and passion. I really do like this chick, but she has been ragging on me about religion (I could give two fat shits about practicing a religion) so I think that in the end it will never work out, which makes it hard for me to get to that next stage of feelings, which in turn makes it hard for me to have sex with her because of that heart and morals thing that still reeks inside me.

So I guess my options are to try to make something of this and work on developing a relationship(I suppose i could go to church with her sometimes...) or be a totally fucking asshole...I mean the choice is obvious right? She is hot and hot and wants me. So I would be stupid to throw it away. A little gaf advice couldn't hurt.
Click to expand...

DUDE,

The whole religion thing is a front for her to not come across as a slut. Get her past that fear of being slutty and let her enjoy herself. Be sensual and cool about it all and don't pressure her. She'll "come" out of her shell for you soon enough.
 
L

Lambtron

Unconfirmed Member
Boomer said:
Surely this is a joke site:
Click to expand...
If that didn't sell you, check out the testimonials:
Rebecca K. said:
I know what you're thinking: "Anal sex?! Gross! No way!" But it's so cool! My boyfriends get totally turned on by watching me lube up, and I don't worry anymore about getting pregnant. And anal is definitely the fast track to the "in" crowd: Ever since I started taking it anal, I've been way popular at school!
Click to expand...
 
M

Megafoo Chavez

I love EGM
Doth Togo said:
DUDE,

The whole religion thing is a front for her to not come across as a slut. Get her past that fear of being slutty and let her enjoy herself. Be sensual and cool about it all and don't pressure her. She'll "come" out of her shell for you soon enough.
Click to expand...

I hear ya. I don't think that shell will be lasting much longer.
 
DCX

DCX

DCX
Seriously, if she is willing to be with you why are you judging life and it's exsistance?? I mean, do you think you aren't worthy? Than maybe YOU have issues...let's put Megafoo Chavez under the
ph_sci-microscope.jpg


DCX
 
D

Docpan

Member
Listen, and listen well. This could quite possibly be the most important advice you will ever receive:

Fuck that shit raw, then bail.
 
M

Megafoo Chavez

I love EGM
Having a girlfriend is such a "to do". you have to care, and ask how their day was, and not spend all your time smoking weed, eating pizza rolls and playing video games(just posting on this forum). Then I got to take her to get her on the pill because damn if I have any little chavez's running around terrorizing panties anytime soon.
 
way more

way more

Member
Megafoo Chavez said:
Having a girlfriend is such a "to do". you have to care, and ask how their day was, and not spend all your time smoking weed, eating pizza rolls and playing video games(just posting on this forum). Then I got to take her to get her on the pill because damn if I have any little chavez's running around terrorizing panties anytime soon.
Click to expand...
If I wanted dating advice I do a search for cubsfan.
 
D

Drek

Member
Virgin tail = YUM. Slam that until you hear the pelvis crack man, then come see me in Maine and I'll give you some dap.

As for that technial virgins site, read the testimonials, they're awesome.

REBECCA K., Great Falls, MT
I know what you're thinking: "Anal sex?! Gross! No way!" But it's so cool! My boyfriends get totally turned on by watching me lube up, and I don't worry anymore about getting pregnant. And anal is definitely the fast track to the "in" crowd: Ever since I started taking it anal, I've been way popular at school!

JEREMY T., Holyoke, MA
I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal.
Jeremy T.

Karen C.

KAREN C., Ypsilanti, N.D.
I want a lot out of life, but I know that I can't afford to raise a kid right now, and I'm way too young to get married. That's why I stopped risking my future by having sex with boys and hooked up with my best galpal, Claire. We may be straight, but we'd rather eat pussy than get preganant!

JESUS N., San Antonio, TX
It's funny to me, listening to straight kids talk about anal sex like they discovered some kind of magic secret no one else knows. Gay guys may or may not have invented anal sex, but I certainly think we perfected it! If straight guys were serious about wanting to have sex and not worry about knocking someone up, they'd hook up with each other.
 
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