Jurassic Park III - What were they thinking?

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Damn, where were y'all buttholes for the other JP threads with everyone pooping on JP2 and saying how great JP3 is. I thought I was going crazy.
It's even more annoying when you realize she was the only character who killed a velociraptor in the series.

They really need to somehow incorporate that scene from the first book where
Muldoon blows up a raptor with a RPG when things start to go to shit.
I remember Crichton making some kind of comparison to a tomato exploding lol.
 
One of JPIII's biggest issues is that the dinosaurs act like slasher villains. The raptors chase humans over the entire goddamned island just to get their eggs back, even though any animal that has its eggs stolen is probably going to... just assume that they've been eaten and be upset but get over it. Oh wait, velociraptors are super intelligent, even smarter than the smartest non-human mammals.

The Spinosaurus is a massive predator that has tons of fresh meat lying around in front of it in the form of a dead subadult T. rex and the rex's most recent kill, but because some tiny mammals ran in front of it, suddenly it has to wear itself out chasing them over miles and miles of treacherous terrain.

Those aren't animals, they're serial killers.
 
I like how everyone's fine with Pete Postlethwaite taking out a T-Rex but a Spinosaurus taking one out is rage inducing. Pete Postlethwaite was awesome in JP2 by the way.

Pete Postlethwaite can do what he wants because he is a fucking badass. His character almost makes up for the abomination that is the entire San Diego act. Unfortunately Vince Vaughan's character is such a goddamn asshole that I don't know how I feel about the movie without watching it again.


There's alot of things that I wish translated from the books into the movies. Alot of it would have turned it into a deep horror film but that that didn't happen. Would have been nice though. I can always dream they followed the books exactly.

I would normally agree with your sentiments but if they had done that then we'd never have got this:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5573224/duane_benzie_clever_boys/
 
Damn, where were y'all buttholes for the other JP threads with everyone pooping on JP2 and saying how great JP3 is. I thought I was going crazy.


They really need to somehow incorporate that scene from the first book where
Muldoon blows up a raptor with a RPG when things start to go to shit.
I remember Crichton making some kind of comparison to a tomato exploding lol.

They should have skipped Jurrassic World and just remade the first book. As long as it wasn't a shot for shot rehash of the first movie and was actually GOOD, I think people would have given it the time of day.

Chris Pratt as Alan Grant
 
Those aren't animals, they're serial killers.

x240-Wjy.jpg
 
Pete Postlethwaite can do what he wants because he is a fucking badass. His character almost makes up for the abomination that is the entire San Diego act. Unfortunately Vince Vaughan's character is such a goddamn asshole that I don't know how I feel about the movie without watching it again.

I love the deleted scene where he beats the shit out of that wanker that was harassing a waitress.

Sucks both he and Bob Peck died, they were awesome in the films.
 
The Lost World, while terrible, it was extremely entertaining. The amount of plot holes and stupidity just made it so much fun to watch.

Giganotosaurus (I think that's what you're talking about) might look a bit like Tyrannosaurus, but it wasn't a relative and its skeleton has a lot of differences. Spinosaurus is still the largest theropod found to my knowledge.

Tyrannosaurus on the left, Giganotosaurus on the right.

That picture is very misleading. Giganotosaurus was at best the same size as the largest T.rex. The skull you see is stretched out and based on very incomplete material.

BTW, they say Spinosaurus is the biggest, but we don't actually know how big Spinosaurus really is. The "big" skull might not even be Spinosaurus. Or at least not aegyptiacus.

A lot of these "bigger" than T.rex animals are based on very little material. Though I wouldn't be surprised if Spinosaurus was longer than T.rex due to the way megalosaurs are built.
 
One of JPIII's biggest issues is that the dinosaurs act like slasher villains. The raptors chase humans over the entire goddamned island just to get their eggs back, even though any animal that has its eggs stolen is probably going to... just assume that they've been eaten and be upset but get over it. Oh wait, velociraptors are super intelligent, even smarter than the smartest non-human mammals.

The Spinosaurus is a massive predator that has tons of fresh meat lying around in front of it in the form of a dead subadult T. rex and the rex's most recent kill, but because some tiny mammals ran in front of it, suddenly it has to wear itself out chasing them over miles and miles of treacherous terrain.

Those aren't animals, they're serial killers.


Holy shit, that never clicked for me.
 
Damn, where were y'all buttholes for the other JP threads with everyone pooping on JP2 and saying how great JP3 is. I thought I was going crazy.


They really need to somehow incorporate that scene from the first book where
Muldoon blows up a raptor with a RPG when things start to go to shit.
I remember Crichton making some kind of comparison to a tomato exploding lol.

Or the scene where
Muldoon blows a raptor's leg off with a grenade launcher even though he's wedged inside a pipe

Film should have ended with him just saying "Fuck it" and setting the Rex free on the Island.

Yes. Add Pete Postlethwaite laughing at Vince Vaughan lying unconscious on the floor with his head bleeding and it would be perfect.
 
Most ridiculous part of JP3 was the jungle boy.

I really want to see how he got that bottle of Rex piss, like, how to you prepare for something like that? Is there a certain location where Rex's gather to urinate? How did he get close enough to fill the little container and did it involve him getting pissed on in the process?

These are questions I need answers for.
 
JP3 was a total disappointment. But that's not to say I didn't enjoy parts of it. Seeing the dinosaurs act like sadistic serial killers was thoroughly stupid and entertaining. No human character was likable, and it played out like a poor pg-13 slasher film. Seeing the well-crafted dinosaurs be reduced to monsters who thirst for human blood was pretty sad.
 
I remember being angry at jurassic park 3. My parents wanted to go see it the day dragon warrior 3 came out in gbc. I just wanted to go home and play it, but nope! Had to go see jp3 instead
 
I really want to see how he got that bottle of Rex piss, like, how to you prepare for something like that? Is there a certain location where Rex's gather to urinate? How did he get close enough to fill the little container and did it involve him getting pissed on in the process?

These are questions I need answers for.

Besides that, the notion that a well-off boy from 21st century could survive in an effectively Jurassic era all by himself in a loincloth is so stupid it could easily be from the silly B grade turkeys from 1950s.
 
I was irritated with some characters in all of the Jurassic Park Movies...mainly the children or couples cause I thought they distracted from the movie which is the DINOSAURS.

But I loved all of them anyway , yes all 3 of them.

What a great part of my childhood. Can't wait for 4!!
 
Then why did I burst out laughing at that scene? Why did it remind me of Sesame Street?

I guess because you are so cool. You should laugh more during movies to prove how above you are to the rest of the theater.


Edit: I'm with the 3>2 people. It's a movie about cloned dinosaurs, have some fun!
 
I feel like you guys are putting the first one on too high of a pedestal. It had its silly moments as well... like a Raptor falling for a reflection, the bad kid acting, the T-Rex paddock continuity issues, etc.

Sure 2 and 3 were much worse, but the first definitely had its issues as well.
 
I feel like you guys are putting the first one on too high of a pedestal. It had its silly moments as well... like a Raptor falling for a reflection, the bad kid acting, the T-Rex paddock continuity issues, etc.

Sure 2 and 3 were much worse, but the first definitely had its issues as well.

The TRex should have appeared later, his car chase scene should have never happened, Wayne Knights character is a useless trope who gets way too much screentime, scenes like the first dinosaur encounter have been way too rare...
 
I need to watch all the Jurassic park movies again. I haven't caught any of them in probably 10 years. And even with that, I've only seen the first one more than once.
 
Or the scene where
Muldoon blows a raptor's leg off with a grenade launcher even though he's wedged inside a pipe
.

Muldoon was a total badass in the book, wielding grenade launchers and RPGs and shit exploding dinosaurs left and right.

[The book is 24 years old, I don't think it needs to be spoiler tagged]
 
Tea Leoni's screams were just...

But JPII had some issues, too.

ib1esLjBQqzRWJ.gif


I sincerely don't understand what is wrong with this The girl knows the uneven bar. There is a raptor on a ledge. She swings over and kicks the raptor using her acrobatic training and the raptor falls down

That makes more sense than John McClane crawling though miles of air ducts.
 
I thought JP3 was entertaining, although of course very dumb. But that fucking kid ruined it for me. As if that kid could stay alive all by himself all that time. Ugh.

I would love a JP movie without any kids. They had their purpose in JP1, but Malcom's kid in JP2 was just tolerable, and in part 3 it was insufferable.
 
Why not don't expect greatness though.

Depends on what your tolerance for shit movies is like. If you enjoyed JP2's ending with the Rex in San Diego you could enjoy JP3.

Survey says, nobody gives a fuck.

:x

Honestly I really like Sam Neill, so I'm tempted to check it out just because of him, but eh....

And honestly, I really disliked the ending to JPII in a lot of ways, thus I never saw JP IIII and wrote off the series. Honestly I didn't even know they made a JP3 until a few years ago.
 
TLW has a Peter Postlethwaite and the cliff scene going for it. It has Vince Vaughn, the daughter and the San Diego bit going against it.

III has John Diehl for like thirty seconds. Also they go through a giant pile of shit to find a cellphone, don't know if that's a positive or a negative, just thought it needed to be said.

As to which one was a better sequel, just watch the first one again.
 
All I remember about 3 was that it was absurdly short, to the point I was confused when the credits appeared. If you had told me it was under 60 minutes I would have believed you.

But yeah, in retrospect, what a mess...
 
Besides that, the notion that a well-off boy from 21st century could survive in an effectively Jurassic era all by himself in a loincloth is so stupid it could easily be from the silly B grade turkeys from 1950s.

I don't see how it's that ridiculous. We really don't know much about the kid's upbringing or what he was forced to do to survive. Some people freak out in survival situations, some people buck up.

In the realm of all the stupid stuff in all the movies, that's pretty low on the list of objectionables for me.
 
I really want to see how he got that bottle of Rex piss, like, how to you prepare for something like that? Is there a certain location where Rex's gather to urinate? How did he get close enough to fill the little container and did it involve him getting pissed on in the process?

These are questions I need answers for.

That was explained in one of the young adult novels. He basically waited till the rex was done peeing and the collected the pee from a puddle.
 
One of JPIII's biggest issues is that the dinosaurs act like slasher villains. The raptors chase humans over the entire goddamned island just to get their eggs back, even though any animal that has its eggs stolen is probably going to... just assume that they've been eaten and be upset but get over it. Oh wait, velociraptors are super intelligent, even smarter than the smartest non-human mammals.

The Spinosaurus is a massive predator that has tons of fresh meat lying around in front of it in the form of a dead subadult T. rex and the rex's most recent kill, but because some tiny mammals ran in front of it, suddenly it has to wear itself out chasing them over miles and miles of treacherous terrain.

Those aren't animals, they're serial killers.

They should have had a scene in the lab with a long hallway with a bunch of doors, with all the humans and raptors running back and forth through all the doors. There would be a moment where a raptor and human run to the same door, and the raptor politely holds the door open for the human, before realizing its humorous snafu and chasing after them again.
 
I sincerely don't understand what is wrong with this The girl knows the uneven bar. There is a raptor on a ledge. She swings over and kicks the raptor using her acrobatic training and the raptor falls down

That makes more sense than John McClane crawling though miles of air ducts.

Other than being corny as heck, I actually didn't have much issue with that particular scene when taking that into the context of deliberately bad. But after watching that gif loop over and over again, I just realized that the girl would have probably broken her ankles if she kicked something that heavy that hard and thus, I resume my "enjoyment" of the scene through the lens of enjoyably bad.
 
if you watched the making of JPIII, they scrapped the script 4 weeks from filming and made everything up on the spot. It was a garbage cash grab production from beginning to end.
 
That was explained in one of the young adult novels. He basically waited till the rex was done peeing and the collected the pee from a puddle.

That was easy and would have been good to have it explained in the movie but no he had to say "You don't want to know" WTF is that suposed to mean stupid little kid? you are not some fucking badass up in here, just say it for fucks sakes.

uggh I fucking hate that kid even more than Leoni stupid screams in the movie.
 
I watched all three JP movies at the cinema.

I regret nothing.

Yeah, same here. I'm 33 years old, so I was old enough to see all three in cinemas as well. The first movie was amazing to see. the theatre was so packed with people that every seat was filled and some people were forced to sit on the isles. The teasers trailers for this movie were making people so hyped for it. It was one of those "you had to be there" moments.

Jurassic Park 2 was also a packed cinema as well, though not as packed as the first one. The movie was so inconsistent and in the end left an underwhelmed feeling.

Part 3, the cinema was practically empty when I saw it. My number one jarring complaint with the film was that poorly used main theme song that would get played an any chance they could get. That's the thing that stuck out in my mind the most about this movie, and the first thing I started complaining about the moment and and my friend stepped out of the theatre.
 
"No. no, no.... call for HELP".....And don't forget... "You HAVE to thank her now.. she sent the Navy AND the Marines!"... Wow.. cringe worthy lines (Jurassic Park 3), for sure. :P
Still, Not nearly enough Dinosaur movies. I enjoy it for what it is.
 
I remember the trailer.

"Was that a T-Rex?"

"No (dramatic pause). It sounded BIGGER"

Even as a child I knew that was the most bullshit thrill bait ever.
 
Jurassic Park 3 has NO redeeming qualities. The Lost World has some questionable stuff but has far more entertaining scenes and is just overall a much much better film.
 
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