-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
LGBThread |OT3| Friends of Dorothy!
- Thread starter Sai-kun
- Start date
- Status
I think - and I could definitely be making all this up out of nowhere - but given the very limited pool that LGBT people have could promote a broader appreciation for different types of beauty. I'm not sure that we really have the luxury to develop a certain predominate type especially when it's easier to appreciate people beyond the standard definition of beauty.
Or because our desires are already considered deviant it's easier for us to self assert our own predilections with less fear of alienation resulting because of it.
They don't?
Mystic Theurge
Member
My first instinct is to say that gay men have a more varied taste than straight women.
You have all these categories of gay guys, but hardly any among straight men.
I would disagree with Dany, I only have my anecdotal evidence to back this up though, as well as my (maybe biased) pop culture view in general.
Everyone is different, that's for sure, and it includes tastes, however I've seen a tendency in women to like more the softer look, and men more into the raw look. Again everyone is different, but something like the bear community is something I don't see happening in any heterosexual group of people, even if obviously there are for sure women who like big, hairy men. Same goes for stuff like the leather community.
We had sphinx here mentioning he was downright ignored at clubs and even grindr until he grew a beard, and I doubt he went to the very specific only beards club, same thing happens to many acquaintances of mine.
I think this other phenomenon is worth mentioning, while it is something that happens in Japan and might be not be applicable here, I think is worth to point out: manga created for women about homosexual relationships follows very strict pairings of very feminine and delicate men, and while this can easily delve into hardcore pornography, the guys are completely idealized, hairless and with very delicate features, manga for homosexual men on the other hand is completely different, the men are far more muscular, hairy and rough, I've read women actually find those repulsive, while homosexual men find the manga the girls read completely unappealing. Then again, it is Japan.
And I sometimes have discussed this with my straight friends, usually after heavy doses of alcohol heh, so it is not an uncommon question.
Amibguous Cad
Member
Well, acting in stereotypical ways is an easy way to identify your interest for random people you meet. I always make sure to wear pink shirts and tight jeans when I go to straight clubs with my friends, or crosdress >.<
CHEEZMO™;48918024 said:
I think I'll flag the next time I'm in a goth club just to see what will happen.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
Fimbulvetr
Member
Didn't know if you wanted the lead into it as well, so I added it anyway(I could change it if you want):
The perception of straight males as expressing homogenious tastes in women might be more a side effect of (straight white) male gaze's pervasiveness in media and marketing.
You are a scholar and a gentleman, sir. Excellent work.
To be fair, in high school when we did discuss types and whatnot amongst my friends, they all had fairly different tastes. There was definitely more variation than "thin physique and large boobs" that's pretty predominant.
Course, in high school, most guys are pretty desperate to be with anyone so types are fairly irrelevant anyway.
Amibguous Cad
Member
CHEEZMO;48993129 said:
Hey, I went home with a smoking 19-year old twink last time I tried that gambit. Can't argue with success!
Mystic Theurge
Member
Uh, I think it goes further than that.
I don't know what you're insinuating.
; ;
Mostly my friends and I stopped talking about those subjects since they're like... all settling down now and what not.
Yeah. I won't change, it just still ..kinda fuuny in some way and ironic since I'm usually told that; by other gay men.
Yep! Jon Favreau!I saw Obama's former head speechwriter on Jon Stewart's show the other day. He was setting off my gaydar something fierce. He's pretty hot too.
Guy seems to be straight though, as he dated Rashida Jones recently too.
There are a few types that most men find appealing (medium muscles, strong jaw etc) but there are a lot of subgroups that probably make up a greater proportion of the gay population than the straight. Chubby men, older men, hairy men, young men, all have their aficionados. Pretty much an body type you can think of will have a significant minority attracted to them.
He did what? I hate him now.
Dead Prince
Banned
should have asked if she's into Virginia Woolf
umop_3pisdn
Member
My gaydar sucks too, usually I can only tell if there's like a sustained eye contact thing going on or something.
I've never guessed wrong so far. People always get me completely wrong, though, haha.
Yea mine too. I recently came out to a friend and then she came out to me as well. I was not expecting it. At. All. And to top it off, she said she had known I was gay since sixth grade. Bitch. But anyways I was completely flabbergasted. Love her though.
I'm the same, and even then I sometimes worry that I'm imagining sexual tension at times.
I'm afraid how often this probably happens. You see a cute guy. He glances at you. "OMG TOTAL EYE CONTACT. HE'S GAY. HE HAS TO BE." :/
Gaydar quick tip: One of the first things human beings do when they see someone of the sex that they are attracted to is glance at the genital and buttocks areas. If someone checks out men, they are probably in to men. And if someone is attracted to women, they will check out women. It's inadvertent and involuntary.
So, if you're a gay man and you want to know if your crush is gay too, get him into a situation where there are lots of attractive men that he doesn't know. If you pay close enough attention, you'll get your answer. (KmA, that might be one reason why your friend knew you were gay before you had the chance to tell her.)
So, if you're a gay man and you want to know if your crush is gay too, get him into a situation where there are lots of attractive men that he doesn't know. If you pay close enough attention, you'll get your answer. (KmA, that might be one reason why your friend knew you were gay before you had the chance to tell her.)
umop_3pisdn
Member
Yeah I would be lost then. I guess the whole male emotional repression thing had to come in handy for something
I know what you mean about the blindspot. One time it even worked in a way opposite to what you would expect, like my one friend in high school had so many stereotypically 'gay' traits, but was so deep in the closet, that I thought that there was no way that he could be that oblivious and so he must be straight. I ended up being really shocked when he came out because I had kind of mentally ruled it out already, even though his closet was basically made of glass.
Me too, but then there are other times when you can just tell, but that's usually kind of when you don't care. Charming and attractive people make me look twice for things that aren't really there.
Amibguous Cad
Member
I guess the grass is always greener. It feels like most people feel that my variant gender expression and general sexual weirdness is a threat to the movement.
This may seem like an odd comparison, but since I waited tables just before college, it is the example that always comes to mind for me.
When waiting tables, there are about 4-5 jokes that you can reliably expect to hear every night, and you are obliged to laugh at them as if it's the first time you've heard it. For example, when someone has completely cleared their plate, they will often say, as you pick up their empty plate, "I bet you can tell I didn't like it!"
Haha! Yes. You are the fortieth person to tell me that joke this week. That person has done nothing especially wrong, but since that time I've always been conscious of telling wrote jokes that everyone tells thinking they're clever. Similarly, I expect minorities and subgroups have a select few questions they're asked routinely by everyone. At least in those cases you don't have to act amused, unless it's a joke, I guess.
When waiting tables, there are about 4-5 jokes that you can reliably expect to hear every night, and you are obliged to laugh at them as if it's the first time you've heard it. For example, when someone has completely cleared their plate, they will often say, as you pick up their empty plate, "I bet you can tell I didn't like it!"
Haha! Yes. You are the fortieth person to tell me that joke this week. That person has done nothing especially wrong, but since that time I've always been conscious of telling wrote jokes that everyone tells thinking they're clever. Similarly, I expect minorities and subgroups have a select few questions they're asked routinely by everyone. At least in those cases you don't have to act amused, unless it's a joke, I guess.
umop_3pisdn
Member
I think it depends, nothing is ever really that annoying, when it is it's usually kind of our fault for finding it that way, I think. Like as a rule I don't think there's many people out there that couldn't use more patience.
I had some good friends which actually made high school pretty fun. We were basically a bunch of bohemian wannabes, nerd-stoners, etc, I wasn't really out to anyone besides them though.
It was pretty fun. I never struggled much because of my sexuality; if anything it was shyness that held me back. My school was just diverse enough that being gay wasn't too big a deal.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
My gaydar is a piece if shit so to make myself happy i force myslef to believe that all guys I find hot are gay.
Of course, that doesn't work and I still know they're not Gay... How are you even supposed to make your Gaydar work anyway? That thing DOES NOT EXIST!!!
Of course, that doesn't work and I still know they're not Gay... How are you even supposed to make your Gaydar work anyway? That thing DOES NOT EXIST!!!
I'm a Freshman right now, it's pretty damn fun. I think there are a lot more good looking guys than what I expected. I have groups of friends who I hang out with depending on my mood, but the ones that I hang out with afterschool are pretty much my true friends and the ones I have the most fun with, for example we wrote on a school poster today and ran away from a teacher...
where am I going with my life damn it
Yeah, I seem to always rationalize that I'm imagining the signs, because I find them attractive so I want them to be gay.
But in general my Gaydar sucks, I can never tell.
I used to get coffee pretty frequently from the same place most mornings. The cashier guy was really cute, but I assumed he was straight.... because let's face it most guys I find attractive that I don't meet at a gay bar/club or online seem to be straight. Now I did notice him always looking me directly in the eyes and smiling, but I just assumed he took the "always be friendly to the customer thing" a little too seriously and thought nothing more of it. I thought to myself I don't need a crush on a straight guy, I've been down that road too many times as a teenager.
This went on for a few weeks until finally one day I was a little late and didn't come in during morning rush hour and he starts a conversation with me, asks if I'm gay, and asks me out. At the time, that like made my month because I never seem to meet random gay people during my normal day to day life ...maybe I just miss the all the signs
GasProblem
Member
Hated myself. Horrible time. Just made it really difficult for myself. I was stupid. Didn't know of any other gay kids.
umop_3pisdn
Member
I found high school to be as boring as I found nearly everything else back then. I remember one young lady asked me why I wore my clothes so tight, and I remember some behind the back comments. By and large, however, nobody seemed to care about my sexuality in my tiny school within in my tiny community.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
I know 2 openly gay kids at school and they're both assholes :/
SpaceBridge
Member
It was alright. Came to terms with being gay then, although I didnt come out. I did see a school counselor who was really supportive. And then I tried to ask out this guy who transferred in during the last year of school who was a hot drummer in a band with arms as thick as my legs, but he turned me down. Boo.
I was pretty active in school though, was Vice President of the student council, ran for prez and lost, then became editor of the school paper where I slandered the school president. If you cant control the government, you control the media. Har har. Didnt have a girlfriend although some girls seemed interested. Pretty positive experience I think.
I don't remember this topic coming up too often in these threads. I guess I navigated it just fine. I was shy, so I didn't really jump on many opportunities. I was also pretty much always bored or indifferent about everything. If not that, I was just kinda depressed. I don't think my sexuality affected me at all during my high school years. It wasn't on my mind too much even though I did start crushing on one of my friends. Overall, it was a fine time. It was certainly better than the experience other people had.
This was actually more of like a 7-11 type place though. yep, I liked my cheap coffee.
I found highshool boring and somewhat lonely
word seemed to spread fast I was gay. Everyone was really nice, but I did notice most of my male friendships became much more distant.
My highschool was sort of small, so I knew of no one else that was gay at school. I'm always somewhat jealous when I hear about gay people hooking up in highschool. At the time a part of me felt doomed that I'd always ONLY be attracted to straight guys. That was sort of an awful feeling wondering if I'd always ONLY find straight guys attractive, but knowing they would never like me back. When I got older and out of highschool, and got into real relationships that feeling completely stopped, it was actually possible for me to find and be attracted to other gay men.
I would be with a CD player (Later Ipod) walking alone on the hallways and people would count my laps and make fun of me but since I was with music on full volume I didnt gave a shit. I was a loner and a depressive guy and IIRC I tried suicide on 10th grade cause I couldnt deal with the stuff there. I was bullied (people making jokes of me, throwing stuff at me and even spit on me) and I basically closed myself for 3 years with the same routine before classes of listening music full volume and ignore people.
My sexuality didn't really affect my experience, but like I mentioned earlier, it seems a few people weren't fond of homosexuality. Shortly after I posted about them here, I remembered one of the kids in my grade on facebook saying something along the lines of "The only good thing to come out of the Holocaust was the persecution of homosexuals", but I'm pretty sure everyone thought that was fucked up.
Despite coming very close to killing myself twice and people bullying me both directly and indirectly, it was okay. Could have been worse.
I'm pretty certain that gaydar is 80% confirmation bias and 20% lucky intuition. Knew someone that claimed to have amazing gaydar and I can remember a few times they were wrong that they promptly forgot.
I didn't know either in high school. So, as a straight white male it was pretty damn easy for me. It actually wasn't all that bad to be honest. Only thing I can really point at being a problem was whenever the other guys would get really excited over discussions of girls. Just didn't get what all the fuss was about. The relationships were awkward too but I'm not convinced that isn't a general experience for that age.
University, on the other hand, was pretty awful.
I thought my high school was a decent size but there was only one out gay person so never really knew any. Still really don't if we're not counting this board.
I didn't know either in high school. So, as a straight white male it was pretty damn easy for me. It actually wasn't all that bad to be honest. Only thing I can really point at being a problem was whenever the other guys would get really excited over discussions of girls. Just didn't get what all the fuss was about. The relationships were awkward too but I'm not convinced that isn't a general experience for that age.
University, on the other hand, was pretty awful.
I thought my high school was a decent size but there was only one out gay person so never really knew any. Still really don't if we're not counting this board.
Nah. I know.
Amibguous Cad
Member
I was outed against my will in high school. Some guys found my porn stash. Some pretty kinky stuff, too, though I managed to convince everyone they were making the kinky stuff up and I had just come out of the closet to them, and they were bitter about it.
I broke up with those friends and fell in with the socially liberal debate circle. It was less difficult than you'd think, being in a Catholic high school in Texas. My junior religion teacher was a hippy liberal progressive Catholic, and seemed generally on my side (I learned, a few years after I graduated, that she lobbied like hell, and ultimately succeeded, in preventing a pregnant student from being kicked out, her reasoning being that she had resisted the temptation of abortion). My senior religion teacher was one of those kind of staid, scholarly homophobes that had just read a bit too much Aquinas, and welcomed lively dissent. At a parent-teacher conference he pointed at a bookshelf including Kant and Augustine and said that he expected to see my writings there one day. I wonder how he'd react to my tentative plan to become a sex worker.
I generally enjoyed the feeling of being a rabble rouser, though I regret that I never tried to start up a GSA. I was, to the best of my knowledge, the only out of the closet gay in the school.
I broke up with those friends and fell in with the socially liberal debate circle. It was less difficult than you'd think, being in a Catholic high school in Texas. My junior religion teacher was a hippy liberal progressive Catholic, and seemed generally on my side (I learned, a few years after I graduated, that she lobbied like hell, and ultimately succeeded, in preventing a pregnant student from being kicked out, her reasoning being that she had resisted the temptation of abortion). My senior religion teacher was one of those kind of staid, scholarly homophobes that had just read a bit too much Aquinas, and welcomed lively dissent. At a parent-teacher conference he pointed at a bookshelf including Kant and Augustine and said that he expected to see my writings there one day. I wonder how he'd react to my tentative plan to become a sex worker.
I generally enjoyed the feeling of being a rabble rouser, though I regret that I never tried to start up a GSA. I was, to the best of my knowledge, the only out of the closet gay in the school.
Mystic Theurge
Member
High school was good. Hardly any bullying, and quite a few gay guys. When I came out, there was virtually no fuss.
I chalk this up to the fact that the school was divided into programs, and I was with the smart kids in a non hostile environment.
I chalk this up to the fact that the school was divided into programs, and I was with the smart kids in a non hostile environment.
kitchenmotors
Banned
Uh what?
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
RadioHeadAche
Member
I had a difficult time accepting that I was gay. I was in love, at the time, with my best friend and for a while I tried to force myself to like the opposite gender. I would become very angry and defensive if someone jokingly assumed I was gay. After a while, I realized it didn't matter. However, I remained closeted until my freshman year of college when I expressed my feelings to the aforementioned friend through a myspace message. I eventually told my other close friends to explain some of my behavior regarding that friend.
To this day, the topic rarely comes up and I don't talk about it outside of a joke now and then. I'm still closeted outside of that group of friends too.
Nothing exciting, that's why I didn't mention it.
We dated for a few weeks, he eventually moved pretty far away. We tried the long distance relationship thing for awhile but that didn't work out.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
LOL, I too was expecting some over the top romantic comedy esque conclusion
- Status
Similar threads
- Poll