Support NeoGAF

[Amibguous Cad]

What other elements of the movement has the gay community thrown under the bus?

I've read your posts in the thread and I'm not entirely sure what you're advocating. What do equal rights for kinky people look like? How would you change the workplace environment--and where's the line between not being ashamed to admit you're part of the kink community and disclosing intimate sexual details in an environment in which doing so is inappropriate?

I've heard a disconcerting amount of criticism for pride parades, crossdressers, drag queens, and people in open relationships or poly arrangements for the fear that it makes us less palatable to the mainstream. The phrase "holding back the movement" occurs quite a bit.

I'd want mores around it to be similar, frankly, to how the world views my other odd hobby, liking My Little Pony. Most think it's weird, a few think I'm mentally ill for it. Fine, haters gonna hate, and it's not too onerous to keep that particular hobby out of my work relationships. But I also won't be fired if my boss looks over the shoulder and sees bronycon on my calendar, or if my real identity somehow gets linked to a pseudonym on fansite. And the police won't raid us at bronycon. And if I get raped at bronycon, the police will prosecute instead of throwing me in jail, too. And if I go to a grief counselor she doesn't fixate on getting me to stop watching the show. Is that too much to ask?

 

[krypt0nian]

So a while back, January?, I brought up the fact that I was experimenting with polyamory with my best friend, and hadn't yet brought it to the table at home with my partner. I justifiably took some heat, and maybe deflected a bit much.

Since then, I have brought this to my partner's attention and we've worked thorough it. He's good with this extra facet of my friend and I's relationship, and sees it my way in that it has benefited our main relationship thus far. I was afraid as even though we hadn't done much sexually, I was emotionally invested in my best friend, and it wasn't fair that my partner was unaware. This could have gone badly, but my instincts were correct that my partner is a bit more evolved than most. Not a jealous bone in his body, and he knows how happy this all makes me so he's good with it. Truly supportive of my happiness, and an unconditional acceptance of me. While he wasn't overjoyed I didn't bring it to him sooner, he understands what and why it is.

He knows I have zero interest in cheating, or in fact fucking around beyond my best friend. I feel really lucky in that I now have two men invested in my happiness, as well as two men that I would move mountains to please and to keep happy. We have seperately discussed and considered playing all together, but it's up to me and I'm not sure of it yet. There are different feels involved here as well as totally different fuck styles. My partner is a more animal primal thing and quite hot. My best friend is someone I feel comfortable with, and we can laugh and really play with each other, grins on both faces the whole time. On one hand I'd love to get them both together with me as it would be a huge ego experience, but on the other, I really love the separate worlds they both provide too. Not sure.

I appreciate all the feedback you all gave, even though I wasn't ready to hear some of it back then.

 

[Dead Man]

So a while back, January?, I brought up the fact that I was experimenting with polyamory with my best friend, and hadn't yet brought it to the table at home with my partner. I justifiably took some heat, and maybe deflected a bit much.

Since then, I have brought this to my partner's attention and we've worked thorough it. He's good with this extra facet of my friend and I's relationship, and sees it my way in that it has benefited our main relationship thus far. I was afraid as even though we hadn't done much sexually, I was emotionally invested in my best friend, and it wasn't fair that my partner was unaware. This could have gone badly, but my instincts were correct that my partner is a bit more evolved than most. Not a jealous bone in his body, and he knows how happy this all makes me so he's good with it. Truly supportive of my happiness, and an unconditional acceptance of me. While he wasn't overjoyed I didn't bring it to him sooner, he understands what and why it is.

He knows I have zero interest in cheating, or in fact fucking around beyond my best friend. I feel really lucky in that I now have two men invested in my happiness, as well as two men that I would move mountains to please and to keep happy. We have seperately discussed and considered playing all together, but it's up to me and I'm not sure of it yet. There are different feels involved here as well as totally different fuck styles. My partner is a more animal primal thing and quite hot. My best friend is someone I feel comfortable with, and we can laugh and really play with each other, grins on both faces the whole time. On one hand I'd love to get them both together with me as it would be a huge ego experience, but on the other, I really love the separate worlds they both provide too. Not sure.

I appreciate all the feedback you all gave, even though I wasn't ready to hear some of it back then.

You are keeping communication open, that is the only thing you have to do, everything else is dressing. Good stuff.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

Ok, I'll bite: I'm totally ignorant on the subject, so if someone (AmbiCad?) could educate me as to the legal rights battles kinksters face, I'd love to hear it. Because I wasn't aware there even were any.

I posted this earlier in the thread

It is not in fact true that anyone can already practice whatever sexuality they want. For one thing, kink is of uncertain legality in many circumstances, and there are at least a few Stonewallesque high-profile raids and arrests of kink events. Despite the best psychological evidence indicating that there is absolutely no comorbidity with other mental disorders, and despite the fact that they can be practiced safely between consenting adults, many activities within the BDSM world remain diagnosable as a mental disorder for no reason other than prejudice and animus. Perhaps most importantly, 24% of kinksters report losing a job over their sexuality. I can move to a Seattle, a San Francisco, a New York and be reasonably certain my job at least won't be threatened for my gay sexuality, and there are even a few states that explicitly forbid such discrimination. Where the hell am I supposed to go to get job security concerning my kinkiness? .... And that's where the struggles are blindingly similar, in this important respect if in no others. How can you, as a gay man, not have your heart go out to someone who lost their job because of their sexuality? If you've ever been closeted, don't you feel that tinge of panic when you think you see someone you know as you're walking into a gay club?

The biggest issues, as I see them, are this:

1.) Categorization as a mental illness increases stigma and makes it difficult for kinksters to seek professional help.
2.) Legal penalties hurt, both in the rare cases of direct prosecution, and more importantly, in putting what happens in the kink community outside of legal protection.
3.) Stigma leads to firing for people who are about as circumspect as you could hope, between the dangers of losing anonymity on the internet or being recognized otherwise.
4.) The common belief that people into kink are damaged or freaks inflicts a lot of mental suffering on kinksters, particularly on young kinksters. I can say that my anguish over being kinky was greater than it was for being gay. The lack of visibility is both a blessing and a curse; a young kinkster won't be hearing slurs directed at the group on the playground, but there's also a lack of the visible support as there is in the gay community. We know that it's pretty much unacceptable to everyone other than our own kind and a few of the most liberal people around.

 

[MyAbsolution]

I've heard a disconcerting amount of criticism for pride parades, crossdressers, drag queens, and people in open relationships or poly arrangements for the fear that it makes us less palatable to the mainstream. The phrase "holding back the movement" occurs quite a bit.

I'd want mores around it to be similar, frankly, to how the world views my other odd hobby, liking My Little Pony. Most think it's weird, a few think I'm mentally ill for it. Fine, haters gonna hate, and it's not too onerous to keep that particular hobby out of my work relationships. But I also won't be fired if my boss looks over the shoulder and sees bronycon on my calendar, or if my real identity somehow gets linked to a pseudonym on fansite. And the police won't raid us at bronycon. And if I get raped at bronycon, the police will prosecute instead of throwing me in jail, too. And if I go to a grief counselor she doesn't fixate on getting me to stop watching the show. Is that too much to ask?

Injustice at workplace happens to everyone. Not just bronies, or kinksters.

Average worker is fucked DAILY by their employers.

Hell people don't even get hired because of the colour of their skin or if they are a female who WANTS children down the road.

 

[krypt0nian]

You are keeping communication open, that is the only thing you have to do, everything else is dressing. Good stuff.

That became the prime mover for me in fact. And it could have gone terribly wrong, but I approached it with admittedly late honesty, an apology, and eyes wide open.

Right now, I feel on top of the world. But I know ultimately, this is a whole lot of star relationship work. But I feel up to it. The last thing I am in relationships is lazy.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

Injustice at workplace happens to everyone. Not just bronies, or kinksters.

Average worker is fucked DAILY by their employers.

Hell people don't even get hired because of the colour of their skin or if they are a female who WANTS children down the road.

Then we should just tell those women and racial minorities that they shouldn't work towards remedying those issues, because others also have it bad? I'm not saying that the kinksters' position is particularly unique, but I hardly see why that means all of us should just throw up our hands and not do anything about any of these issues.

I mean, come on, would your first response to someone reporting being fired for being gay be, "well hey, women and blacks have it bad, too!"

 

[MyAbsolution]

Then we should just tell those women and racial minorities that they shouldn't work towards remedying those issues, because others also have it bad? I'm not saying that the kinksters' position is particularly unique, but I hardly see why that means all of us should just throw up our hands and not do anything about any of these issues.

My point isnt that nothing should be done. Hell the examples I gave are illegal in canada, yet happen on a regular basis.

Reality is that the workplace is unfair and stupid. Being fired for stupid shit that has nothing to do with work itself isn't uncommon is my point. Legislated against or not, it happens.

I got the impression you were suggesting bronies or kinksters are unique. But you admit that it is not.

 

[Deleted member 30609]

Alright. Been riding to work for a couple months, it might be time to actually get serious. Thanks.

It took me, from the day I got psyched and convinced myself to start, about a month to actually work up the motivation to go out and buy the things I needed to get started. Once I actually got everything, I watched the first DVD and was immediately overwhelmed at the setting, nutritional information and so on and put it off for a few more days.

The key thing -- this is a cliche, I think it's mentioned in the DVDs -- was to just get out of my head about it and start sweating. Don't worry too much to start with about all the periphery information, you can smooth that out over time. To start with? Just show up. Do what you can. Brute force sweating and routine is as good a place as any to start.

 

[Cosmic Bus]

I also believe that you can apply for a discounted rate as well, but I am not entirely certain how that worked. I guess I'm glad I didn't have to use any YMCAs in downtown Seattle and its neighborhoods when I used to go, though. D: Hopefully, they're not that bad...

I looked into this a bit more today and they've got a fairly large weights area, the place is pretty respectable, clean, and mostly filled with regular folks. It's pretty affordable, too, but I've gotta find a new job before committing to more monthly expenses.

Will probably start using my workout dvds again in the meantime to get my heart back into it. It's not the best reason, but I keep hoping that if I can bulk up a bit, guys might actually notice me. Nothing else has worked. :\

 

[Dead Man]

It took me, from the day I got psyched and convinced myself to start, about a month to actually work up the motivation to go out and buy the things I needed to get started. Once I actually got everything, I watched the first DVD and was immediately overwhelmed at the setting, nutritional information and so on and put it off for a few more days.

The key thing -- this is a cliche, I think it's mentioned in the DVDs -- was to just get out of my head about it and start sweating. Don't worry too much to start with about all the periphery information, you can smooth that out over time. To start with? Just show up. Do what you can. Brute force sweating and routine is as good a place as any to start.

Yeah, that's what I did when I started riding the bike, just went and started, dodgy helmet, squeaky brakes and all. I think it will probably take me at least a couple weeks to actually start this, I tend to second guess a lot and want to know everything in detail before starting, but yeah, once i have it, it will be a case of just doing.

I really like the idea of getting a serious workout at home, gyms just do not work for me. The hour every day thing worries me a bit since I do shift work and my schedule gets screwed up, but I think I will be able to plan around that as long as I schedule my workout times a couple weeks in advance.

Anyway, thanks to all of gayGAF for having the conversation in the first place and getting me interested. When I have 20 inch arms and massive thighs I will thank you all

 

[Alcoori]

That became the prime mover for me in fact. And it could have gone terribly wrong, but I approached it with admittedly late honesty, an apology, and eyes wide open.

Right now, I feel on top of the world. But I know ultimately, this is a whole lot of star relationship work. But I feel up to it. The last thing I am in relationships is lazy.

I don't remember if your best friend had a partner too or not. In any case, I am glad it worked out for you.
I don't want to say I'm not sure how I feel about it because that would be stupid since it doesn't impact me in any way, but let's say that I am curious about it. I've said before that I didn't believe in open relationships, then I got to know several couples in open relationships, one very closely (not THAT close, don't get any ideas) and I have to say that it opened my eyes. I think that different kinds of relationships work for different people and the constant in every successful one that I've seen has been open communication and honesty, which you seem to be doing with your partner.
Good luck with your polyamory situation, hope it works out in the long run and that you guys are happy.

It took me, from the day I got psyched and convinced myself to start, about a month to actually work up the motivation to go out and buy the things I needed to get started. Once I actually got everything, I watched the first DVD and was immediately overwhelmed at the setting, nutritional information and so on and put it off for a few more days.

The key thing -- this is a cliche, I think it's mentioned in the DVDs -- was to just get out of my head about it and start sweating. Don't worry too much to start with about all the periphery information, you can smooth that out over time. To start with? Just show up. Do what you can. Brute force sweating and routine is as good a place as any to start.

Do your best and forget the rest, amiright?

 

[BeesEight]

Though if you're going to go down the "OMG WHY ARE GHEYS TRYING TO BE STRAIGHT" route here's a book of essays for you.

Have you read this? I'm curious, from the synopsis, what her justification for denying same sex marriage is.

Do your best and forget the rest, amiright?

Tip of the day - don't smash your face.

 

[Necromanti]

I looked into this a bit more today and they've got a fairly large weights area, the place is pretty respectable, clean, and mostly filled with regular folks. It's pretty affordable, too, but I've gotta find a new job before committing to more monthly expenses.

Will probably start using my workout dvds again in the meantime to get my heart back into it. It's not the best reason, but I keep hoping that if I can bulk up a bit, guys might actually notice me. Nothing else has worked. :\

I'm glad to hear that. In the meanwhile, you can ask them for a free trial so you can at least test out the facilities and such. You can even start discussing the rates with them and say that you can't really afford it at the time, and see how flexible they can be.

But yeah, that's the same reason I plan on bulking up eventually, too...

 

[Dead Prince]

Tip of the day - don't smash your face.

Don't hold your breath

 

[Dead Man]

That became the prime mover for me in fact. And it could have gone terribly wrong, but I approached it with admittedly late honesty, an apology, and eyes wide open.

Right now, I feel on top of the world. But I know ultimately, this is a whole lot of star relationship work. But I feel up to it. The last thing I am in relationships is lazy.

Good relationships always take work, glad yours is on track

 

[Blood Diamonds]

What the fuck did I just do guys? I came out to my Mom yesterday and wow saying it was one of the worst things I've ever felt. Honestly, she got really bummed out, she said that life for Gay people was really hard because of all the hate, and she started blaming herself and all that, I had to tell her she had nothing to do with it and that I can take care of myself. I feel really bad for letting her know, I don't know, I guess I feel selfish. She didn't take it the wrong way but she got really sad, I don't think she needed to know I guess I shoudl've just kept it to myself longer.
I just don't know what the fuck got into me that made me do it, I feel like an asshole or something. I don't think I'm coming out for a long while now. But she said really nice things, she said that I'm not alone and that she's there for me, and that it was good for me to tell her, but I don't think so.
Being Gay is just fucking hard (No pun intended) :|

 

[Fimbulvetr]

What the fuck did I just do guys? I came out to my Mom yesterday and wow saying it was one of the worst things I've ever felt. Honestly, she got really bummed out, she said that life for Gay people was really hard because of all the hate, and she started blaming herself and all that, I had to tell her she had nothing to do with it and that I can take care of myself. I feel really bad for letting her know, I don't know, I guess I feel selfish. She didn't take it the wrong way but she got really sad, I don't think she needed to know I guess I shoudl've just kept it to myself longer.
I just don't know what the fuck got into me that made me do it, I feel like an asshole or something. I don't think I'm coming out for a long while now. But she said really nice things, she said that I'm not alone and that she's there for me, and that it was good for me to tell her, but I don't think so.
Being Gay is just fucking hard (No pun intended) :|

You shouldn't feel bad about coming out to her. The fact that you did at all means you trusted her enough to think she could take it.

I'm curious, though; what's your mom's general opinion on homosexuality? It doesn't sound like she necessarily objects to it, so I'm not sure why she'd be "bummed".

 

[Dead Man]

What the fuck did I just do guys? I came out to my Mom yesterday and wow saying it was one of the worst things I've ever felt. Honestly, she got really bummed out, she said that life for Gay people was really hard because of all the hate, and she started blaming herself and all that, I had to tell her she had nothing to do with it and that I can take care of myself. I feel really bad for letting her know, I don't know, I guess I feel selfish. She didn't take it the wrong way but she got really sad, I don't think she needed to know I guess I shoudl've just kept it to myself longer.
I just don't know what the fuck got into me that made me do it, I feel like an asshole or something. I don't think I'm coming out for a long while now. But she said really nice things, she said that I'm not alone and that she's there for me, and that it was good for me to tell her, but I don't think so.
Being Gay is just fucking hard (No pun intended) :|

Just sounds like your mum is worried about you, parents never like to see extra potential obstacles in their kids life. She worried for you. That's what mum's do. They also make their kids feel guilty without even trying

 

[btkadams]

What the fuck did I just do guys? I came out to my Mom yesterday and wow saying it was one of the worst things I've ever felt. Honestly, she got really bummed out, she said that life for Gay people was really hard because of all the hate, and she started blaming herself and all that, I had to tell her she had nothing to do with it and that I can take care of myself. I feel really bad for letting her know, I don't know, I guess I feel selfish. She didn't take it the wrong way but she got really sad, I don't think she needed to know I guess I shoudl've just kept it to myself longer.
I just don't know what the fuck got into me that made me do it, I feel like an asshole or something. I don't think I'm coming out for a long while now. But she said really nice things, she said that I'm not alone and that she's there for me, and that it was good for me to tell her, but I don't think so.
Being Gay is just fucking hard (No pun intended) :|

my mom cried for a few days for that very reason. she hated knowing that i would have a harder life because of hateful people. you should NOT feel bad about being honest with her because of that. she will get over it. she has already shown she supports you, so be grateful! my mom was the same way and my only regret is not telling her sooner. she is very glad i told her. being open feels great. it's always a total shock as a parent, so give her a few days. she clearly loves you very much.

 

[BeesEight]

Just sounds like your mum is worried about you, parents never like to see extra potential obstacles in their kids life. She worried for you. That's what mum's do. They also make their kids feel guilty without even trying

Yup, completely this.

Blade, it's important that you told her and this guilt is only temporary. Both you and your mom will be happier for this later. Now that she knows, she can support you even better than before. Parents worry and finding out their children are gay takes a bit of time to adjust.

She'll go through the stages of "grief" but she'll come around eventually.

 

[daripad]

What the fuck did I just do guys?

You did the right thing. At least you had the determination to do this. It will always be hard for parents to know this, since we've seen that gay people is oftenly discriminated by society, so she is worried of what might happen to you in the future. She doesn't seem upset with your sexual preference, is just the problems that come with it, but you must show her that you will do good. Really, congratulations, you just made one of the most difficult steps in your life and don't blame you because you feel your mother seems bad about this, she seems like she will get over this, just give her time.

 

[Menaged]

I truly hope you'll change your viewpoint and see this coming out as a positive experience, because I think it is. Your mom supports you and loves you, and like others said, her being upset is only because she's worried that being gay may affect your life negatively.

So, cheer up. You did a hard thing, and IMO it ended quite well.

 

[Alcoori]

I agree with what gaygaf has said but I will also say this, it's not about her!
Also it might help to think about it this way: she wasn't suspecting it and was surprised/shocked by the coming out. You had time to get comfortable with being gay since you've known for longer than her obviously so leave her some time.
In the end, the fact that she was supportive and said that she would be there for you is awesome.

Don't hold your breath

German potato soup.

 

[Dead Prince]

I agree with what gaygaf has said but I will also say this, it's not about her!
Also it might help to think about it this way: she wasn't suspecting it and was surprised/shocked by the coming out. You had time to get comfortable with being gay since you've known for longer than her obviously so leave her some time.
In the end, the fact that she was supportive and said that she would be there for you is awesome.



German potato soup.

Green... Bean? Soup

I started doing p90x. i think i might finish for the first time.. LOL. i'm like at week 7 right now. might do it again or start on insanity. we'll see how things go.

 

[daripad]

lol What the hell is happening with you both?

 

[BeesEight]

Green... Bean? Soup

I started doing p90x. i think i might finish for the first time.. LOL. i'm like at week 7 right now. might do it again or start on insanity. we'll see how things go.

Wow! And what's wow upside down? Mom!

 

[Odinson]

yall should try insanity for funsies.

After two rounds of insanity getting through most of the P90X insanity hybrid the bf and I started asylum this week. This is one hell of a workout so far. I'm looking forward to the results though.

 

[Menaged]

I just checked the p90 thread and I think I'm too lazy to get all the equipment :-/
I think ill just start running with a friend. I haven't exercised in years...

 

[Dead Prince]

Wow! And what's wow upside down? Mom!

That's one short uncle.

After two rounds of insanity getting through most of the P90X insanity hybrid the bf and I started asylum this week. This is one hell of a workout so far. I'm looking forward to the results though.

Was insanity easy the first time you did it? i think the last time i sorta tried i had long hair and was just annoying LOL.

I just checked the p90 thread and I think I'm too lazy to get all the equipment :-/
I think ill just start running with a friend. I haven't exercised in years...

insanity! no equipment just space.

 

[RM8]

Insanity seems more appealing precisely because of the no-equipment factor. Ahaha, if I decide to try it it's going to be pitiful, I suck at not being sedentary.

 

[Arcipello]

I just checked the p90 thread and I think I'm too lazy to get all the equipment :-/
I think ill just start running with a friend. I haven't exercised in years...

yeah looked into that but its really not practical since my bedroom and living room aren't big enough to get crazy in.

 

[Menaged]

Just the name scares me...
But can you link me somewhere?

I meant to quote DMC about insanity

 

[Blood Diamonds]

Hey guys, thanks a lot! I feel better, and my Mom looks better too, kind of. After reading your replies it seems like the way she's sad is normal, I know it's really hard for her and I feel a little regret for telling her but I can't stay closeted forever. She needs her time and hopefully she'll be better in a few days.
Again, thanks guys!

 

[Odinson]

Was insanity easy the first time you did it? i think the last time i sorta tried i had long hair and was just annoying LOL.

Not at all. I had to take breaks and just watch for some of it. Good thing is the more you do it the better you get at it. Even the second round was still tough but I could do way more reps than the first time through and wasn't dying as much..lol

Hey guys, thanks a lot! I feel better, and my Mom looks better too, kind of. After reading your replies it seems like the way she's sad is normal, I know it's really hard for her and I feel a little regret for telling her but I can't stay closeted forever. She needs her time and hopefully she'll be better in a few days.
Again, thanks guys!

Yea she just needs time. It defiantly wasn't selfish of you to come out to her. If anything this will bring you closer.

 

[daripad]

Insanity seems more appealing precisely because of the no-equipment factor. Ahaha, if I decide to try it it's going to be pitiful, I suck at not being sedentary.

Can you lend me your genes? I want to be sedentary and not gaining wieight lol.

 

[RM8]

Underweight 4 life

Spoiler

hopefully not.

 

[Alcoori]

Guys, you can't have smoke without a fire. Your body is not gonna shape itself up if you don't move around and exercise.
Motivation is key when getting in shape, taking pictures to monitor progress is certainly a good way to stay motivated. Having an end goal is also good.
But in the end, if P90X, Insanity and co work, that's because they make you work out intensively. If you're gonna work out for an hour 5+ times a week, no shit you're gonna get results. However, if you go for a 10 mins jog once in a blue moon, nothing is gonna change.

So get off of your lazy ass, get a push up bar, a couple of elastic bands and a mat and you're good to go for P90X.

 

[daripad]

If you really never have done exercise recently you can start slowly running or riding a bike as if you were warming up, then you can go straight to what you want to do, this may help you to start being more active and start a habit.

 

[RM8]

I swear it's not in me to enjoy working out. It's simply not, working out is boring to me and there's no other way around it. So yeah, I realize it's 100% my fault that I don't have the nicest physique The trick will be discipline - It's something I want to do to improve my physical condition, something that will help me age better and be more healthy. I need some motivation, really, I very easily go back to "meh, I'm done with this" mode.

 

[Alcoori]

I swear it's not in me to enjoy working out. It's simply not, working out is boring to me and there's no other way around it. So yeah, I realize it's 100% my fault that I don't have the nicest physique The trick will be discipline - It's something I want to do to improve my physical condition, something that will help me age better and be more healthy. I need some motivation, really, I very easily go back to "meh, I'm done with this" mode.

Do you actually think I enjoyed working out when I started? I fucking hated it.

 

[RM8]

Working out has huge entry barrier, it makes Virtua Fighter look like Mario Party

 

[Prez]

I'd love to have a good physique but I'd rather spend as much time as possible playing music which I'm not doing nearly enough either :/ I know I can have both but it's hard enough for me to get started on one thing I really want to get obsessed with music.

 

[Blood Diamonds]

Oh I just lft I don't do P90X or Insanity

Spoiler

because I don't have any fuckng money :|

 

[daripad]

Oh I just lft I don't do P90X or Insanity

Spoiler

because I don't have any fuckng money :|

That's something

 

[BeesEight]

Working out has huge entry barrier, it makes Virtua Fighter look like Mario Party

But... I hate Mario Party.

I'd love to have a good physique but I'd rather spend as much time as possible playing music which I'm not doing nearly enough either :/ I know I can have both but it's hard enough for me to get started on one thing I really want to get obsessed with music.

I never did the photo thing like Alcoori suggested but what I've found really effective is having a workout buddy. They help to keep you on schedules as days when you're really unmotivated they'll be raring to go and vice versa. Also, it helps to have someone suffering with you that you can moan with afterwards.

And, honestly, if you stick with it you start to get... I don't want to say addicted but accustomed to it. Like, if I skip exercising after a while I start to feel antsy and a need to go and do something.

 

[Alcoori]

And, honestly, if you stick with it you start to get... I don't want to say addicted but accustomed to it. Like, if I skip exercising after a while I start to feel antsy and a need to go and do something.

Totally! Once you start feeling better because you're getting stronger, you have more stamina, and because your physical appearance improves, you somehow long for that feeling you get when you finish your workout (no, not horny).

 

[krypt0nian]

I don't remember if your best friend had a partner too or not. In any case, I am glad it worked out for you.
I don't want to say I'm not sure how I feel about it because that would be stupid since it doesn't impact me in any way, but let's say that I am curious about it. I've said before that I didn't believe in open relationships, then I got to know several couples in open relationships, one very closely (not THAT close, don't get any ideas) and I have to say that it opened my eyes. I think that different kinds of relationships work for different people and the constant in every successful one that I've seen has been open communication and honesty, which you seem to be doing with your partner.
Good luck with your polyamory situation, hope it works out in the long run and that you guys are happy.

Good relationships always take work, glad yours is on track

Thanks guys. It's definitely been an adventure.

 

[btkadams]

So a while back, January?, I brought up the fact that I was experimenting with polyamory with my best friend, and hadn't yet brought it to the table at home with my partner. I justifiably took some heat, and maybe deflected a bit much.

Since then, I have brought this to my partner's attention and we've worked thorough it. He's good with this extra facet of my friend and I's relationship, and sees it my way in that it has benefited our main relationship thus far. I was afraid as even though we hadn't done much sexually, I was emotionally invested in my best friend, and it wasn't fair that my partner was unaware. This could have gone badly, but my instincts were correct that my partner is a bit more evolved than most. Not a jealous bone in his body, and he knows how happy this all makes me so he's good with it. Truly supportive of my happiness, and an unconditional acceptance of me. While he wasn't overjoyed I didn't bring it to him sooner, he understands what and why it is.

He knows I have zero interest in cheating, or in fact fucking around beyond my best friend. I feel really lucky in that I now have two men invested in my happiness, as well as two men that I would move mountains to please and to keep happy. We have seperately discussed and considered playing all together, but it's up to me and I'm not sure of it yet. There are different feels involved here as well as totally different fuck styles. My partner is a more animal primal thing and quite hot. My best friend is someone I feel comfortable with, and we can laugh and really play with each other, grins on both faces the whole time. On one hand I'd love to get them both together with me as it would be a huge ego experience, but on the other, I really love the separate worlds they both provide too. Not sure.

I appreciate all the feedback you all gave, even though I wasn't ready to hear some of it back then.

just seeing this now. i'm really glad that it is working out! that's great that your partner was so cool about it.

 

[Sai-kun]

Underweight 4 life

Spoiler

hopefully not.

yeahhh underweight-ish crew for life. own that shit.