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[ShadyLurker]

lol I'm sure sphinx isn't the only one who does guys. When you post your pic online you have to be aware of the fact that someone could just be ogling you. Especially if you're in tight gym wear or something.

Though I think it's more an unspoken truth Sphinx. Probably for good reason. I mean I check guys and girls out sometimes, but I don't stare or flat out tell them I'm doing it

 

[Dead Prince]

Whats so bad about my comment regarding lurking other threads? everybody does it all the time, for one reason or another. there's nothing bad about it.

Geez you guys make think I nearing ban territory, Even TDM had to make an appearance.

yeah but who actually says what they are doing ;P

 

[Trigger]

Though I think it's more an unspoken truth Sphinx.

Yep.

lol, if you're not banned now Sphinx I doubt you will be.

 

[Alcoori]

Thanks, I should do that, I always biked a lot when I was younger, still have too muscular legs that doesn't fit the rest of my body, but my ass doesn't want to be as muscular, lol.

I hear ya, same thing for me. A lot of it is genetics. Despite being pretty muscular, it is still flat as hell. I do tons of lunges, my clenching could probably open a walnut, but it is still sorta flat.

 

[shanshan310]

I believe the idea was for exposure. Where the community threads are a little harder to find, since we keep getting bumped in the OT new users are more likely to find us. Kind of like Transgaf, we're both a community and an outreach or resource.

I'm really glad its in OT actually, otherwise I never would have noticed it! I know its silly but posting in here just once lifted this huge weight off my chest and I've started feeling comfortable enough to tell a few people.

 

[Dany]

I lurk fitness-GAF and there is no shame to admit it.

 

[sphinx]

And Dany you should post more there!

I still remember your back pic, nice definition you have

And lurking all threads where people show themselves (post your pic 2013, show your fiancee, weightloss before/after, fitness, etc..)....

Come on, that's pretty much a given. No need to even admit it, everybody does it.

 

[BeesEight]

They won't ban you for being creepy. Else we would lose half of Gaf.

You will get some looks though.

 

[Mr_Zombie]

Whats so bad about my comment regarding lurking other threads? everybody does it all the time, for one reason or another. there's nothing bad about it.

Geez you guys make think I nearing ban territory, Even TDM had to make an appearance.

I laughed when I saw TDM's post - both because of its content and the fact that he even posted here. It was so random. :lol

Nothing bad about lurking photo threads - that's the reason they exist, isn't it? People post their photos online, especially on a public forum like this, because they want others to ogle them and comment on their photos. It's just that your post sounded a little creepy, especially the part with legs/butt and the unfinished sentence.

Here is a butt worth raving about.

That's a nice butt. But I don't want to even imagine how hard it is for him to buy a pair of decent trousers. When I was a teenager I had a protruding butt (not muscular, though ) and even though I was generally thin I had a hard time buying jeans because of my ass - I had to buy trousers that were one or two sizes bigger and then either narrow them or wear a belt.

I'm really glad its in OT actually, otherwise I never would have noticed it! I know its silly but posting in here just once lifted this huge weight off my chest and I've started feeling comfortable enough to tell a few people.

Same here. If the thread was in the community section, I would have never found it, because I usually don't even go there.

 

[Dead Prince]

This is bungee boy and his sister. this is what he looks like now. his mom posted this on her FB page. just going to post this here maybe he can meet Ellen and Sophia lulz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRCsR4cku7w

 

[Dany]

And Dany you should post more there!

I still remember your back pic, nice definition you have

Oh you.


I'll post more when I see something woth posting about.

 

[TheSeks]

...

This is hilarious to me for unintended reasons.

Anyway~

lol I'm sure sphinx isn't the only one who does guys. When you post your pic online you have to be aware of the fact that someone could just be ogling you. Especially if you're in tight gym wear or something.

This. It's the same with women.

 

[ShadyLurker]

This. It's the same with women.

Truth be told, I kind of enjoy it if someone likes a pic of me or gives me a compliment. I wouldn't mind if they do ogle me personally. I'm no stud or anything so it never really happens in real life.... I guess that makes me seem kind of vain, but I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist. I kind of get a charge showing off to people. Only if they're receptive and in the right environment of course. Something like skinny dipping with a group of people or whatever. I'm not flashing old ladies or anything

 

[Mr_Zombie]

Truth be told, I kind of enjoy it if someone likes a pic of me or gives me a compliment. I wouldn't mind if they do ogle me personally. I'm no stud or anything so it never really happens in real life....

You don't have to be a stud to be ogled by other people, believe me. Maybe you just don't notice all those people staring at you. Every day I ogle a lot of guys that would never made it on the "Men's Health" cover because they simply appeal to me.

Spoiler

Now I sound like a creep >_>

 

[Sagitario]

Speaking of ogling, Sr_Zombie, nueva foto, por favor :}

 

[Fantastical]

Let me randomly pipe in here to note that I absolutely cannot stand this guy.

You're not alone.

 

[chronos4590]

Let me randomly pipe in here to note that I absolutely cannot stand this guy.

You're not alone.

Lol interesting, I gotta ask why that is.

 

[umop_3pisdn]

You don't have to be a stud to be ogled by other people, believe me. Maybe you just don't notice all those people staring at you. Every day I ogle a lot of guys that would never made it on the "Men's Health" cover because they simply appeal to me.

Spoiler

Now I sound like a creep >_>

If you mean ogle in the sense of "stare at lecherously" then I guess that kind of enters creep territory, the operative part being to stare. I've been in the habit of basically checking everyone out, but if they're quick glances it's unlikely you're going to make anyone feel uncomfortable from the unwanted attention. That's where I see the line, anyways.

 

[Alcoori]

The other day, during the act of having sex, the guy I was with called me "baby".
Now, I've never been called baby not even by my boyfriends, and certainly while having sex after a somewhat successful first date. That freaked me out a little bit because there had been a few signs that this guy was intense and that kinda sealed the deal.

He has texted me since then, pretty innocuous things asking how the day went and that he wanted to cuddle/sleep in my arms. I was going to tell him I didn't really feel a spark and that we should just not hang out again but I didn't want to presume he wanted anything to come out of it. When he eventually asked me if I wanted to do something next weekend, I told him that although I had a good time, I didn't really feel a connection and that since I didn't want to lead him on, we should most likely not hang out again.
He was a little upset and told me I lead him on when I invited him home and when I told him he smelled good (lol, he did though).

I was wondering what you guys thought.
Context: we met on Grindr, he sent me naked pics within the first 10 messages without me asking for them and told me he could tell he liked me even though we only made small talk (i.e. where are you from and what do you do).

 

[Trigger]

The other day, during the act of having sex, the guy I was with called me "baby".
Now, I've never been called baby not even by my boyfriends, and certainly while having sex after a somewhat successful first date. That freaked me out a little bit because there had been a few signs that this guy was intense and that kinda sealed the deal.

He has texted me since then, pretty innocuous things asking how the day went and that he wanted to cuddle/sleep in my arms. I was going to tell him I didn't really feel a spark and that we should just not hang out again but I didn't want to presume he wanted anything to come out of it. When he eventually asked me if I wanted to do something next weekend, I told him that although I had a good time, I didn't really feel a connection and that since I didn't want to lead him on, we should most likely not hang out again.
He was a little upset and told me I lead him on when I invited him home and when I told him he smelled good (lol, he did though).

I was wondering what you guys thought.
Context: we met on Grindr, he sent me naked pics within the first 10 messages without me asking for them and told me he could tell he liked me even though we only made small talk (i.e. where are you from and what do you do).

Sounds like you caught a clinger. I think you handled it well honestly. You stopped it before he got too invested and in a mature way. It's funny though: I don't think the baby thing would bother me much.

 

[Dead Prince]

The other day, during the act of having sex, the guy I was with called me "baby".
Now, I've never been called baby not even by my boyfriends, and certainly while having sex after a somewhat successful first date. That freaked me out a little bit because there had been a few signs that this guy was intense and that kinda sealed the deal.

He has texted me since then, pretty innocuous things asking how the day went and that he wanted to cuddle/sleep in my arms. I was going to tell him I didn't really feel a spark and that we should just not hang out again but I didn't want to presume he wanted anything to come out of it. When he eventually asked me if I wanted to do something next weekend, I told him that although I had a good time, I didn't really feel a connection and that since I didn't want to lead him on, we should most likely not hang out again.
He was a little upset and told me I lead him on when I invited him home and when I told him he smelled good (lol, he did though).

I was wondering what you guys thought.
Context: we met on Grindr, he sent me naked pics within the first 10 messages without me asking for them and told me he could tell he liked me even though we only made small talk (i.e. where are you from and what do you do).

put out a restraining order on him.

 

[daripad]

You're not alone.

Is it my imagination or you had another nick before?

 

[BeesEight]

*Shrug* I haven't gone looking for hook-ups so I don't really know what to offer. I would think grindr is especially dodgy if you're looking for something serious but I'm also not too familiar with the app.

And if I'm having sex on the first date/meeting my expectations for where things are going are pretty low in the first place. It sounds like you broke his heart, Alcoori but with the context provided I think he may have been a little more hopeful than he should have reasonably been.

Alas, the issue with love is you've got to put yourself out there and get burned if you want any progress. I'm sure he'll get over it. And you ended it as best you could anyway so there's not much on your side to really comment on...

Baby.

 

[Replicant]

I was wondering what you guys thought.
Context: we met on Grindr, he sent me naked pics within the first 10 messages without me asking for them and told me he could tell he liked me even though we only made small talk (i.e. where are you from and what do you do).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14ZO1b3T6jo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Z4KrmZ1Oc

 

[umop_3pisdn]

*Shrug* I haven't gone looking for hook-ups so I don't really know what to offer. I would think grindr is especially dodgy if you're looking for something serious but I'm also not too familiar with the app.

And if I'm having sex on the first date/meeting my expectations for where things are going are pretty low in the first place. It sounds like you broke his heart, Alcoori but with the context provided I think he may have been a little more hopeful than he should have reasonably been.

Alas, the issue with love is you've got to put yourself out there and get burned if you want any progress. I'm sure he'll get over it. And you ended it as best you could anyway so there's not much on your side to really comment on...

Baby.

Yeah, I think this is a learning experience for the other guy to temper his expectations and be less impetuous. The impetuous thing can work in a flirty or charming way but not really at an early point where more substantial feelings are concerned, whatever a person sees at that point is generally a product of their imagination anyways so there are more than a few reasons for why it doesn't really work. Alcoori you probably could have noticed the signs sooner but I think the other guy's approach is the sort of thing that never really works, and you ended it like a reasonable person.

 

[Alcoori]

Alcoori you probably could have noticed the signs sooner but I think the other guy's approach is the sort of thing that never really works, and you ended it like a reasonable person.

Oh I did see them. I mentioned it to my friends before I even met with that guy. I thought that worst case scenario I would just bail after dinner and that would be that.

The baby wouldn't have freaked me out too much if it was someone I cared about and had seen for a little while. But on the first date? Girl. Plus he said it looking into my eyes while I was topping him, that almost killed my boner, ha.

Also, forgot to mention it, but he never had a drop of alcohol. He is 33.
What?

 

[Cosmic Bus]

Oh I did see them. I mentioned it to my friends before I even met with that guy. I thought that worst case scenario I would just bail after dinner and that would be that.

Why did you end up sleeping with him then?

 

[daripad]

Also, forgot to mention it, but he never had a drop of alcohol. He is 33.
What?

That is not a bad thing. Actually, my ideal guy would be like that. I hate the smell of people's mouth after some drinks, is gross

 

[Hige]

Why did you end up sleeping with him then?

Oh well, on to the next! Still gotta finish my 2013 challenge which is to sleep with 12 new guys (1/month) this year. I'm up to 4 so far so I'm ahead of the game, ha.

Alcoori, I'm curious about your apprehension regarding people who don't drink. You've posted before that:

As bad as it sounds, I have a hard time trusting people who don't drink.

I rarely drink, but it's attitudes like that that make me feel like I should just lie and tell people I'm x amount of years sober. Which, ironically, proves your point of being untrustworthy. But it seems like people are more accepting of someone who has quit drinking instead of someone who rarely drinks. I don't judge people who drink, so I wish I got the same respect in return.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

That is not a bad thing. Actually, my ideal guy would be like that. I hate the smell of people's mouth after some drinks, is gross

There's nothing better than frenching a guy who chews tobacco and drinks strong whiskey.

 

[Dany]

There's nothing better than frenching a guy who chews tobacco and drinks strong whiskey.

You know nothing Ratsky Watsky.

 

[Escape Goat]

There's nothing better than frenching a guy who chews tobacco and drinks strong whiskey.

barf

as in i'd barf in his mouth because that would probably taste better than chew tobacco.

 

[umop_3pisdn]

Why did you end up sleeping with him then?

Yeah that's kind of what I meant. I understand why you might have, but it makes the situation more complicated.

Also, forgot to mention it, but he never had a drop of alcohol. He is 33.
What?

I don't think that's an inherently odd thing. The only teetotaler argument that I find odd is the neurotic one where people must constantly be in possession of all of their senses for ... some reason. It's not the first half of that which I take issue with, being in possession of our senses seems wise, but rather that the second part makes it seem like an incomplete thought and not a real argument, but almost more of a condemnation of people that don't see it the same way. We're often not in full possession of our senses, I can see why a person wouldn't voluntarily make that choice, but isn't the irrational need kind of tedious? If you just don't like the effects, or even don't think you would like the effects and you're not curious enough to find out, or you're a parent and getting drunk feels like a lapse of responsibility to you, or (as in my case) you're a Buddhist and you find alcohol negatively affects your mindfulness; those are to me all perfectly valid reasons not to drink.

 

[RM8]

Guise, guise. Angry blue Kirby or AiAi?

Also, hot guys, dismissive feminine GIFs and stuff.

 

[lunch]

Guise, guise. Angry blue Kirby or AiAi?

Blue Kirby all the way.

 

[Dany]

Blue Kirby dude

 

[_Isaac]

Blue Kirby.

 

[BeesEight]

Why did you end up sleeping with him then?

I can't speak for Alcoori but perhaps because sex is fun?

There's nothing better than frenching a guy who chews tobacco and drinks strong whiskey.

You are my new favourite poster on the Citadel.

I don't think that's an inherently odd thing. The only teetotaler argument that I find odd is the neurotic one where people must constantly be in possession of all of their senses for ... some reason. It's not the first half of that which I take issue with, being in possession of our senses seems wise, but rather that the second part makes it seem like an incomplete thought and not a real argument, but almost more of a condemnation of people that don't see it the same way. We're often not in full possession of our senses, I can see why a person wouldn't voluntarily make that choice, but isn't the irrational need kind of tedious? If you just don't like the effects, or even don't think you would like the effects and you're not curious enough to find out, or you're a parent and getting drunk feels like a lapse of responsibility to you, or (as in my case) you're a Buddhist and you find alcohol negatively affects your mindfulness; those are to me all perfectly valid reasons not to drink.

I can't speak for others but that's one of the reasons I prefer to not get drunk and enjoy being sober. Granted, I'm not against alcohol and have drunk before but it's the reason I won't get high or do drugs. For me, it's a control thing. So there's been stuff in my life that's had a huge effect on me that I had no control over and turning to myself and knowing that I can keep my own head about helps to give a sense of being grounded. Removes some feeling of complete helplessness knowing what I can and can't control.

Also, I have a parent who's an alcoholic so there's genetic concerns and yadda yadda yadda.



Blue Kirby.

 

[Trigger]

#TeamBlueKirby

 

[daripad]

Guise, guise. Angry blue Kirby or AiAi?

Blue Kirby obviously. AiAi is so damn boring.

There's nothing better than frenching a guy who chews tobacco and drinks strong whiskey.

Ugh. Get out

You know nothing Ratsky Watsky.

It is known

 

[ShadyLurker]

Get your hands off my Kirby you damn dirty ape.

 

[RM8]

Wow, that was one-sided.

What a bunch of monkey hating people.

Spoiler

I agree. And MeeMee is much cuter anyway, but I'll change it back until tomorrow

 

[umop_3pisdn]

I can't speak for others but that's one of the reasons I prefer to not get drunk and enjoy being sober. Granted, I'm not against alcohol and have drunk before but it's the reason I won't get high or do drugs. For me, it's a control thing. So there's been stuff in my life that's had a huge effect on me that I had no control over and turning to myself and knowing that I can keep my own head about helps to give a sense of being grounded. Removes some feeling of complete helplessness knowing what I can and can't control.

Also, I have a parent who's an alcoholic so there's genetic concerns and yadda yadda yadda.

I'm not about to suggest that you should do things differently, but wouldn't giving up a control issue paradoxically give you more control (assuming of course that you were successful)?

Also you've explained your reasoning so I get it. I guess using the terms I used before it isn't really rational but on second thought it doesn't have to be. My problems more with the value statement that being in possession of ones senses is inherently good, which it might be but leaving it at that level seems not really thought out and sometimes kind of condescending.

 

[Alcoori]

Why did you end up sleeping with him then?

Because he was cute and at the time I was having a good time. I didn't force anything up on him, he could have said no anytime.
We met on grindr, he sent me naked pics in the first 10mins of the conversation, he subsequently asked me for pics of my dick via text and kept telling me how eager that was making him about meeting me.
I mean, like BeesEight said, sex is fun and it doesn't mean that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with the person I'm having sex with. As long as both are willingly participating (and trust me, he was), then if he took it as meaning more than what it was it's not my responsibility, but his.

That is not a bad thing. Actually, my ideal guy would be like that. I hate the smell of people's mouth after some drinks, is gross

I think you might change your tune when you get older. When I say drinking I don't mean getting trashed. One, two drinks don't make your mouth smell like alcohol.

Alcoori, I'm curious about your apprehension regarding people who don't drink. You've posted before that:

Ha, that makes it sound like I have a drinking problem. Not sure why you quoted the first sentence except if you're implying that my sex life is promiscuous because I drink.
Because that's not the case. I'd hardly call my life promiscuous and most of the time I am not drunk when I have sex and if I am, I am in full control of my capacities (i.e. I am tispy).

Also, I like drinking. For me it's a very social activity and I enjoy having a glass of wine during family dinner, grab a beer or two with friends or even a cocktail on a date. Having someone who NEVER drink is just not gonna work for me because despite all of his reassurance that he doesn't mind, I will still feel judged and uncomfortable. I have friends who don't drink, that's fine, to each their own. But my boyfriend/husband better enjoy it.

 

[RM8]

One, two drinks don't make your mouth smell like alcohol.

They do.

Source: I don't drink, 99% of my friends do.

That being said I can't claim to "never had one drop of alcohol" - I keep trying stuff that I'm supposedly going to like all the time

 

[hateradio]

Wow, that was one-sided.

What a bunch of monkey hating people.

Spoiler

I agree. And MeeMee is much cuter anyway, but I'll change it back until tomorrow

I actually think the monkey is cute, so I'd vote for it if it meant anything.

 

[Cosmic Bus]

Because he was cute and at the time I was having a good time.

Ah, I guess I misunderstood the part about bailing immediately after dinner.

 

[umop_3pisdn]

Because he was cute and at the time I was having a good time. I didn't force anything up on him, he could have said no anytime.
We met on grindr, he sent me naked pics in the first 10mins of the conversation, he subsequently asked me for pics of my dick via text and kept telling me how eager that was making him about meeting me.
I mean, like BeesEight said, sex is fun and it doesn't mean that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with the person I'm having sex with. As long as both are willingly participating (and trust me, he was), then if he took it as meaning more than what it was it's not my responsibility, but his.

No one said that. The point is that fault is essentially never 100% on one person, it could for example instead be 99% and recognizing that from how you described him he could easily run with something like that and make himself more miserable about it. It's his fault, sure, but you wanting something from him makes it kind of difficult to completely morally separate yourself from it. And I'm not saying this like it's some serious thing, or trying to shift the tone of the discussion urging you to reflect or anything like that, it's just a point that can be made since I perceived that you were asking a bit about how it was handled.

 

[BeesEight]

I'm not about to suggest that you should do things differently, but wouldn't giving up a control issue paradoxically give you more control (assuming of course that you were successful)?

Also you've explained your reasoning so I get it. I guess using the terms I used before it isn't really rational but on second thought it doesn't have to be. My problems more with the value statement that being in possession of ones senses is inherently good, which it might be but leaving it at that level seems not really thought out and sometimes kind of condescending.

I suppose, in a sense, it could. It's a deep seated belief developed when I was much younger so that resistance is there and, well, it's a belief that really doesn't negatively impact my life so I haven't had any real issue to address it.

Yeah, I only hoped to offer my own views on why I have those beliefs. I certainly don't fault people that enjoy their things, I just recognize that it's not for me. On one hand, I almost feel envious of those friends who would go out and "get smashed" and have so much fun. But I did try it and I didn't enjoy it so generally avoid it when I can.

I, personally, wouldn't try and paint it as a fundamental truth. I can see the appeal of losing yourself in... anything, really and the sense of freedom you could feel from that. It's why I won't look down on people that make those decisions. Now, if someone is constantly getting trashed and ending up in terrible situations but keeps repeating those mistakes and wonders why things aren't working for them, I might be a little condescending there but that's less because of their willingness to abandon control and more the lack of self awareness and understanding consequences.

I actually think the monkey is cute, so I'd vote for it if it meant anything.

Alright boys, let's get him!

 

[umop_3pisdn]

I suppose, in a sense, it could. It's a deep seated belief developed when I was much younger so that resistance is there and, well, it's a belief that really doesn't negatively impact my life so I haven't had any real issue to address it.

I believe that's true. I'm sure there are a lot of situations where we lack a significant amount of control, but it's a stretch to go from that to 'then alcohol' or to otherwise seek out those situations as drinking is obviously a deliberate choice.

Yeah, I only hoped to offer my own views on why I have those beliefs. I certainly don't fault people that enjoy their things, I just recognize that it's not for me. On one hand, I almost feel envious of those friends who would go out and "get smashed" and have so much fun. But I did try it and I didn't enjoy it so generally avoid it when I can.

I, personally, wouldn't try and paint it as a fundamental truth. I can see the appeal of losing yourself in... anything, really and the sense of freedom you could feel from that. It's why I won't look down on people that make those decisions. Now, if someone is constantly getting trashed and ending up in terrible situations but keeps repeating those mistakes and wonders why things aren't working for them, I might be a little condescending there but that's less because of their willingness to abandon control and more the lack of self awareness and understanding consequences.

Yeah I get that, as much as I can coming at this from the other side of it where my inclination is more to give up control, though sometimes that makes people like me into stupid fatalists. I've skirted drug addiction and borderline delusional viewpoints quite a few times, this kind of attitude is definitely more dangerous and in fairness I don't think I should actually be recommending it to anyone because I think I can attribute me not staying there (I hope) to what is essentially luck. It seems to be that the alternative to control is making yourself mercy to luck. I suppose sometimes you have to but it's a foolish lifestyle.